List of unnamed NPCs in Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door

This article needs Paper Mario improvement. Specifically:

• The following characters are missing:
  • Untattleable characters, especially those during Bowser intermissions
  • Inn runners and shop runners. (These characters tend to have long lists of quotes, and it is not clear how to present them)
  • Glitz Pit Security staff
  • How does #Excess Express select the characters at random?

Requested improvements must be clear, pertinent, and well-formed. Please refrain from adding bullet points such as "Add more information" or "Write the rest of the article".

Throughout Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door, there exist several NPCs that are not named in any way. The following is a list of them.

The internal names are from the original (GCN) version of the game, where they are associated with the Tattle messages of the characters.

Rogueport

Rogueport Harbor

Character	Quotes	Internal name
An orange Toad hanging near the Save Block. Tattle: "By the sound of it, something bad happened to this sailor, and now he hates the sea. Sounds so sad... I wonder what he thinks about when he looks out at the ocean..."	"What you want, pal? Huh? A princess in a pink dress? I ain't seen nothing like that, no. I'd remember a princess, probably. Why do you want this chick, anyway, pal? Owe you money? Or is she yer girlfriend?" "Not that you care, but I gave up all my life's dreams. Now I just stare at the sea. I walk around...alone. I wait for a ship that never returns. Life stinks, you know that?" "Once, a great pirate named Cortez wreaked havoc on these seas, y'know. People in town still tell stories about that guy... He's like a legend..." "See that ship docked there? She belongs to Flavio, the merchant trader. He don't sail too often, though. Mostly he hangs at Podley's joint on the plaza." "Off to that island, are ya? Well, at least Flavio's ship is the best in the harbor. You oughta be fine as long as you don't see any ghosts. But if the pirate king's curse is real, there ain't a ship on the sea that can save you." "I'm more interested in the casualties of a treasure hunt than I am in the treasure. Morbid, huh? Yeah, I know. Well, you try not to become a treasure ghost, OK, pal?" "If it weren't for you, those guys never would've returned. Thanks, pal!" "Hey, the sun came back, pal! Was it you? Did YOU save us? I'm...happy! I'm SOOO happy! I want to embrace life again... I want to BELIEVE again... Sniff... I love you, man."	水夫Ａ Suifu A Sailor A
An orange Toad hanging in the open area near the stairs. He appears after Goombella joins Mario's party. Tattle: "That's a Toad sailor who works here at Rogueport Harbor. I hear he loves his family so much that it's hard for him to go on long voyages."	"Hey, in case you don't know, the plaza's through the gate at the top of the stairs. There are shops and inns and stuff there. You ought to take a good look around." "You know what I've learned? The world is full of strange and mysterious places. Yup. I sure would love to go see them all one day. That'd be a logistical nightmare, though." "Yup, the world sure is full of strange and mind-warpingly wonderful places, all right... What's that? ...Boggly Woods? Huh! Never heard of them... I'd love to see 'em one day..." "Yup, the world sure is full of strange and mind-bogglingly sensational places, all right... What's that? A sky-city? Huh! Never heard of THAT... I'd love to see it one day..." "Yup, the world sure is full of strange and mind-bendingly fantastic places, all right... ...A town in perpetual dusk? Huh! Never heard of THAT... I'd love to see it one day..." "...What? Keelhaul Key? Oh, that place is absolutely awful, I've heard. Not long ago, ship after ship went there hunting treasure, but none ever returned... I bet they met the bad end of the pirate king's curse. Those guys were dumb." "Setting sail at last, eh? Treasure has its allure, but my family needs me. Dreaming dreams is all well and good, but certain-death voyages? I'll pass, thanks." "Admiral Bobbery? I'm fairly sure there was an old guy by that name living in the east part of town." "Wow, those guys all looked excited... They didn't get rich, but I still kind of envy them." "...Poshley Heights? Only filthy-rich folks live there, right? Not that I've ever been..." "WHAT?!? You went to the dang moon? Why should I believe you? Did you get the man in the moon's autograph?" "What?!? There was an evil shadow queen sleeping deep beneath this town?!? Huh? And you defeated her? Listen... You really need to quit with the compulsive lying."	水夫Ｂ Suifu B Sailor B
A Bob-omb sailor hanging in the open area near the stairs. Tattle: "That's a Bob-omb sailor. He does basic harbor work, like loading and unloading. He's kinda gruff, but he seems to have decent advice. Pretty OK guy, all around."	"Blimey! A fight?!? Corkin'! Heh heh! Ain't nothin' so fun as watchin' some poor bloke 'ave it out wif his missus, eh? Am I right, mate?" "Lissen, mate... You'll run into all sorts o' trouble if you don't keep your eyes peeled. This is ROGUEport, after all. The town's rotten wif crooks, thieves, an' 'ooligans." "K-Keelhaul Key? You mean the island where the treasure hoard of Cortez, the pirate king, is hidden? So...you want treasure, eh? Fine, but keep an eye out or the pirate curse'll get ya!" "So THAT'S how you're doin' it! You an that mental Flavio... Uh, rather, that dashin' guy... Well, at any rate, be careful. That island is right nasty. Prepare yourself, eh?" "Admiral Bobbery? Yeah, sure, that bloke used to practically live at Podley's Place, on the plaza. He'd stay too late every now an' then an' that lovely wife of his would pick 'im up." "Going at last, are ya? Try not to die a 'orrible death, all right, then?" "So, there WERE ghosts, eh? I don't care what kinda ship ya got! I'd of been paralyzed! But hey! Comin' back on a better ship than you left on is quite the score!" "Oy there, mate! How's about I catch a ride on that trim ship of yours sometime!"	水夫ボム兵Ｂ Suifu Bomuhei B Sailor Bob-omb B
A Bob-omb sailor near the S.S. Flavion during the interlude between Chapters 4 and 5. He goes on board when the ship is about to set sail. Tattle: "That's a Bob-omb sailor. He's one of the guys going to Keelhaul Key with us. Why do you think so many Bob-ombs become sailors? Kinda weird, huh?"	"Right fair weather today, eh? Yeah, perfect day to set sail, if I do say so! Wouldn't mind a bit if the whole journey blew in fair as today, no sirree bob!" (During cutscene) "I'm on board!" (During cutscene) "Wait up!"	水夫ボム兵Ｃ Suifu Bomuhei C Sailor Bob-omb C
An orange Toad on the S.S. Flavion during the interlude between Chapters 4 and 5. Tattle: "That's one of the sailors going with us to Keelhaul Key. He seems super-motivated, so we're totally lucky to have him, know what I mean?"	"Starboard ho! Port ho! Giant monster Blooper ho! I'm practicing my 'ho's'!" (During cutscene) "Aye aye AYE!"	水夫Ｄ Suifu D Sailor D
An orange Toad girl on the S.S. Flavion during the interlude between Chapters 4 and 5. Tattle: "That's one of the Toads who's coming with us to Keelhaul Key. Sounds like she got tired of life in Rogueport and wants a fresh start on Keelhaul Key. Hey, she's young, y'know? That's the time to get out there and try new stuff!"	"I... I always dreamed of the day I'd leave this town. I don't care if there are pirates or ghosts or undead vampires where we're going. It's gotta be worlds better than this stinkhole!" (During cutscene) "Sure thing!"	店員 Ten'in Clerk
An X-Naut reporting the success of Lord Crump's plan in a hidden corner during the interlude between Chapters 4 and 5.	(During cutscene) "This is X-Naut One here, come back, dude? I repeat, X-Naut One here, over. Roger, reading you five-by. Infiltration is successful. X-Naut Black aboard vessel. Repeat: X-Naut Black is on board the vessel..."	-

Rogueport Plaza

Character	Quotes	Internal name
A Doogan walking to and fro behind the gallows. Tattle: "That's a lazy Doogan. He hunts shady 'jobs' that he expects to pay well. I bet he's never done an honest day's work in his life. What a piece of work."	"Professor Frankly? Actually, I think a guy by that name lives over on the east side... Just go east from here. As you enter town from the harbor, just hang a right. So, uh, what about him? Did this guy steal something important from you, or what?" "Hey, you don't have any good jobs, do you? You know, easy work, great pay? Or, at least, something easy? I don't do any heavy lifting. And I gotta get paid cash." "Hey, you don't have any good jobs, do you? You know, easy work, incredible pay? Yeah! If you've got easy work that pays a lot, I'm your man! I'm all OVER that!" "Hey, you don't have any good jobs, do you? You know, easy work, insane pay? Yeah! Easy work that surrounds a guy with lovely women, I'm your man!" "Hey, you don't have any good jobs, do you? You know, easy work, absurd pay? Yeah! Like, maybe something where I sing one song and collect royalties forever?" "Hey, you don't have any good jobs, do you? You know, easy work, amazing pay? Yeah! Like, maybe something where I do a little dance and get paid for life?" "Hey, you don't have any good jobs, do you? You know, easy work, unbelievable pay? Huh? Did you say lottery? No, no... No lottery for me. I lose WAY too much." "Hey, you don't have any good jobs, do you? You know, easy work, mind-blowing pay? It would be great if I could get paid a lot to sleep. Yeah, that's the job for me." "Hey, you don't have any good jobs, do you? You know, easy work, ridiculous pay? ...... Yeah, yeah! I got it, mister... Nobody pays anyone a lot to do something easy... Fine! I'll try working hard. I'll break a sweat...but I'd better get paid good for it!"	ロテン１ Roten 1 Doogan 1
A Goomba to the east of the gallows. Tattle: "That guy's a local Goomba. He'll give you advice and stuff, so he's OK. His tips totally might come in handy, so you oughta talk to him as often as possible."	"You look like you don't know nothing, so I'll teach you something, how 'bout that? If you press , you can check your current HP. I can't believe you didn't know that. If you have low HP, you oughta go rest in an inn so you recover. Use your head." "You look like you don't know nothing, so I'll teach you something, how 'bout that? If you gotta replenish both HP and FP, inns are better than recovery blocks. Inns will refill all your Star Power, too, that's why... Recovery blocks won't, genius." "You look like you don't know nothing, so I'll teach you something, how 'bout that? In this town...the boss of the Robbos and Don Pianta are in a nasty turf war. If you wanna live long, you'd better either choose a side, or stay the heck out of it." "You look like you don't know nothing, so I'll teach you something, how 'bout that? Some people are so good at fighting, they fight with Stylish moves, you hear me? I'm pretty sure that guy who lives underground will tell you about Stylish moves... If you're interested, go talk to that guy, 'cause I'm all tapped out." "You look like you don't know nothing, so I'll teach you something, how 'bout that? Here in Rogueport...there's a world-famous archaeologist... Huh? You already knew that? Fine, smart guy. I'll have a better tip next time." "You look like you don't know nothing, so I'll teach you something, how 'bout that? There's a world-famous sailor named Bobbery here in Rogueport who... Huh? He's already with you? Fine, Mr. Big Brain. I'll have a better tip next time." "You look like you don't know nothing, so I'll teach you something, how 'bout that? There are secret blue pipes below us that are connected to other parts of the world. If you find them, you'll be able to go to distant places like Poshley Heights instantly!" "You look like you don't know nothing, so I'll teach you something, how 'bout that? There are ruins beneath us, and you can go down there and find these pipes that... Huh? You already knew that? Fine, Mr. Brilliant. I'll have a better tip next time." "You look like you don't know nothing, so I'll teach you something, how 'bout that? There's this guy named Mario who saved the whole world in its darkest hour... Huh? YOU'RE Mario?!? W-W-W-Wait a sec'! Whoa! The rumors were all true?"	クリボー２ Kuribō 2 Goomba 2
A Doogan in the backside of the plaza. Tattle: "That's a suspicious Doogan. He craves that one big score, but I doubt it'll happen. I mean, even if he did make some money, he'd just blow it. He depresses me..."	"Dang, yesterday I blew through 100 coins at the parlor. You believe that? But not next time, man! I'm coming back a winner! The odds favor me now!" "Shoot, yesterday I blew through 200 coins at the parlor. You believe that? But next time..." "Man, yesterday I blew through 300 coins at the parlor. You believe that? But next time I'm gonna win. Just mark my words, man! I've got a system now!" "Yesterday I blew through 400 coins at the parlor...but next time, it'll all be good!" "Yesterday I blew through 500 coins at the parlor...but not next time! No way, man!" "Yesterday I blew through 600 coins at the parlor...but next time, I'm gonna... Oh, wait. Now I'm all outta cash. That isn't good." "Yesterday I blew through 700 coins at the parlor...but next time, I'll do better... I'm gonna hawk my expensive wristwatch and play some more! Brilliant move, eh?" "Yesterday I blew through 800 coins at the parlor...but next time, I'm definitely winning... Actually, you know what? Maybe I'll just quit..." "Hey, listen to this, man! Yesterday at the parlor... I won 100,000 coins! Yeah! Finally! I finally won! The dark skies all cleared up, I finally won... Great days are here at last! Hooray!"	ロテン２ Roten 2 Doogan 2
A Bandit in the leftmost house in the backside of the plaza. He is initially in the east part of Rogueport, dashing towards Mario and stealing half of his coins. Tattle: "That's a bandit who's made this place his hideout. Seems like he totally loves this place...but would it kill him to clean up a bit?"	"Eeeeeeeeeeeooops! Uh... Fancy meeting you here! You're pretty dang persistent, buddy! What a pain! Fine! FINE, OK? You got me. I'll give you your coins back. Here." "Huzzat?!? Hey! Aren't you that doofus who klutzed into me? You really owe it to yourself to carry a little cash around, buddy. Treat yourself right. I mean, I went to the trouble of trying to pick your pocket, but I didn't get a single coin!" "Lemme give you a news flash: even the innocent-looking people in town are thieves! So, don't come grumbling to me about losing a little pocket change, OK, buddy?" "Lemme give you a news flash: even the innocent-looking people in town are robbers! So, don't come crying to me about losing a little pocket change, OK, buddy?" "You got some kinda problem? You think you can just barge into my hideout, buddy? ...You're probably just jealous. No one snooping around... It's the perfect hideout spot!" "You got some kinda problem? You think you can just barge into my hideout, buddy? ...You're probably just jealous. No one snooping around... It's the perfect hideout spot! With all this garbage, there are tons of flies and stuff... Who'd want to come in here?" "You got some kinda problem? You think you can just barge into my hideout, buddy? ...You're probably just jealous. No one snooping around... It's the perfect hideout spot! This garbage attracts flies and huge roaches like crazy. Who'd want to come in here?" "You got some kinda problem? You think you can just barge into my hideout, buddy? ...You're probably just jealous. No one snooping around... It's the perfect hideout spot! Since there's garbage all over, the place just REEKS! Who'd want to come in here?" "You got some kinda problem? You think you can just barge into my hideout, buddy? ...You're probably just jealous. No one snooping around... It's the perfect hideout spot! I mean, look at this garbage! The place is a total mess! Who'd want to come in here?" "You got some kinda problem? You think you can just barge into my hideout, buddy? ...You're probably just jealous. No one snooping around... It's the perfect hideout spot! No windows... No breeze... It's all muggy and nasty! Who'd want to come in here?" "You got some kinda problem? You think you can just barge into my hideout, buddy? ...You're probably just jealous. No one snooping around... It's the perfect hideout spot! There's no natural light, so it's all dark and scary! Who'd want to come in here?" "You got some kinda problem? You think you can just barge into my hideout, buddy? ...You're probably just jealous. No one snooping around... It's the perfect hideout spot! Garbage... Flies... Roaches... Stinky... Dirty... Muggy... And there's no sunlight! Ohhhhhh! No WONDER! That's why nobody comes here! This place is gross! Ah, well. I can get used to living just about anywhere... I guess... Bleah."	盗賊 Tōzoku Thief
A Little Mouser in Podley's Place. Tattle: "That guy practically lives here... He must like it, huh? He's like, the ultimate regular. As far as I can tell, he's recounting the tales of every love of his life, one by one."	"... ... Can't you take a hint, pal? '...' means SCRAM! Don't talk to me!" "... ... '...' means SCRAM! Don't talk to me! My heart's burning for my long-lost love. Oh, Ms. Mowz, you sly, sultry, little thief... I hope you're doing well, wherever you are." "... ... '...' means SCRAM! Don't talk to me! My heart's burning for my long-lost love. Oh... Where has my beloved actress gone? Why did she forsake me? Yes, Flurrie was her name... She was skinny and toned, with a voice like an angel... But she left the bright lights behind and went off to live in peace and quiet..." "... ... '...' means SCRAM! Don't talk to me! My heart's burning for my long-lost love. Yes, the reception Boo at the parlor in the west part of town... How is she, I wonder? I'll never forget those eyes... and the passionate secrets that they hold." "... ... '...' means SCRAM! Don't talk to me! My heart's burning for my long-lost love. Yes, I'm speaking of the extraordinary beauty at the juice shop in Glitzville... No matter how many times I flirted, she never paid me the slightest attention..." "... ... '...' means SCRAM! Don't talk to me! My heart's burning for my long-lost love. I don't want to say this too loudly, you understand... But this blossom is the daughter of Don Pianta. Francesca, the temptress... I haven't seen her around town lately. I hope she hasn't eloped with another..." "... ... '...' means SCRAM! Don't talk to me! My heart's burning for my long-lost love. I've only ridden the Excess Express once in my entire life, you understand... But I met an angelic waitress in the dining car and gave her a present. I wonder if she's treasuring that gift, the earring I gave her out of purest love..." "... ... '...' means SCRAM! Don't talk to me! My heart's burning for my long-lost love. I've been to Poshley Heights only once in my entire life, you understand... But when I was there, I gave a gift to a gorgeous madame who lingered outdoors. I wonder if she treasures that gift, the silver ring I gave her out of purest love..." "... ... I don't think I'll ever love again... As long as the world is at peace, I'll be happy... I think... Uh..."	チューさん２ Chū-san 2 Squeek 2
A Bob-omb sailor in Podley's Place. Tattle: "That guy's a Bob-omb sailor. I think he comes here every time his ship makes port. I don't blame him. This place has totally cool atmosphere. I'd be a regular, too..."	"Oy. I used to sail around and run wild in me younger days, but I'm a reformed sailor now. I used to go 'round explodin' all over the place without givin' it much thought." "Oy. I used to sail around and run wild in me younger days, but I'm a reformed sailor now. I was blowin' up north, south, east, and west back then. I was a real nutter!" "Oy. I used to sail around and run wild in me younger days, but I'm a reformed sailor now. I used to blow up all the time without payin' any heed to wot ordinary blokes thought." "Oy. I used to sail around and run wild in me younger days, but I'm a reformed sailor now. But then I got to thinkin'... Is blowin' up a part of the national Bob-omb identity? Naw, I figured... There must be lots o' blokes bein' all Bob-omb-ish wifout blowin' up! It was after I realized that that I quit blowin' up all the time. It was an eye-opener!" "Fer a Bob-omb, blowin' up is like throwin' a punch fer an ordinary bloke... If you wanna leave the biggest impression, you gotta do it wif perfect timin'. Me mum said that once you learn that timin', yer finally an adult Bob-omb. Ah, Mum." "Once I learned proper timin' for explodin', I started thinkin' it was an art form! But now I know: an explosion's just an explosion, and there ain't no way around it..." "When I was a lad and blowin' up all the time, some mates I respected once told me... 'Explodin' without thinkin' is like drinkin' coffee wifout any cream. It's just wrong.'" "I sense a shadow fallin' across this town, mate... Now may be time fer me to release all my pent-up explosions, I'm thinkin'..." "The moment that might 'ave needed my explosions seems to 'ave passed, eh? When that sky filled up with darkness, I was so shook I almost exploded on the spot!"	水夫ボム兵 Suifu Bomuhei Sailor Bob-omb

West side

Character	Quotes	Internal name
A pink Toad walking on the street. She is a fan of Flurrie and her conversation becomes different when Flurrie is the active partner of Mario. Tattle: "That's a Toad from the west side. She's a big theatergoer, and apparently she's also a raving fan of Flurrie's."	"Wow! This town may be full of rogues and punks, but this part sure feels safe! Don Pianta does such a good job of managing things, I feel totally safe shopping here." "Omigosh omigosh omigosh! Madame Flurrie! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! I'm such a HUGE fan! I can't believe I saw you here!" "Going to the theater is like my hobby or something! I mean, the reason I like the drama so much is 'cause I live in a town like THIS. It hasn't been as fun lately since my favorite actress left the stage for good... It's torture for fans like me..." "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! I can't believe I got to meet you, Madame Flurrie! I loved your performance in a[sic] 'A Mid-Winter Day's Nap'! I've seen it THREE times!" "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! I can't believe I got to meet you, Madame Flurrie! I loved your performance in 'Scrambled Eggs and Hamlet'! I've seen it TEN times!" "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! I can't believe I got to meet you, Madame Flurrie! I loved your performance in 'The Boy Who Cried Woo'! I've seen it 100 times!" "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! I can't believe I got to meet you, Madame Flurrie! I loved your performance in 'The Cowing of King Steer'! I've seen it TEN times!" "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! I can't believe I got to meet you, Madame Flurrie! I loved your performance in 'The Dunking of Noodle'! I've seen it 100 times!" "Going to the theater is like my hobby or something! I mean, the reason I like the drama so much is 'cause I live in a town like THIS. The worst thing is, my favorite actress made her grand comeback recently... AND I CAN'T GET TICKETS!" "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! I can't believe I got to meet you, Madame Flurrie! I love your latest starring role in 'Paper Mario'! I've seen it 1,000 times!"	キノピオ女Ｂ Kinopio Onna B Toad Woman B
A green Toad walking on the street. He seems to belong to the family living in the easternmost house. Tattle: "That's a neighborhood kid. He seems to like going out and exploring new places. ...But he does seem to have a gripe about his family... I wonder what it is..."	"I almost fell down that grate! MAN, that was close! I know where that thing leads to, too! All too well! And I don't wanna go there!" "The reason I'm always hanging out around here is because it's so boring back at home. My dad spends all day writing bad novels that never sell, Mom LIVES at the parlor... ...And my brother never leaves the house at all. Yeah, so you can see why I'm not exactly in a rush to go back there." "My kid brother never sets foot outside. Maybe I should offer to let him play with me. Yeah... I think I'll ask him if he wants to play soccer with me." "I asked my brother if he wanted to play soccer with me, and he was so happy. If I'd known it would make him so happy, I would have asked him sooner, y'know? But since I didn't, I'll just have to play with him that much more from now on!" "I played soccer with my kid brother yesterday. Boy, it was so fun! He's actually pretty darned athletic! We're getting along really well now. We're gonna play together again tomorrow. I can't wait!"	キノピオ子供Ｂ Kinopio Kodomo B Toad Child B
A Doogan hanging out near the Happy Lucky Lottery on the street. Tattle: "This guy really likes... No, he totally LOVES the Happy Lucky Lottery! He wakes up each day with one thing on his mind: that day's winning number!"	"Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww... Another day... Another stupid LOSING LOTTERY TICKET! But I'm sure I'll win tomorrow. Yeah. I'll be back tomorrow. I... I'll be here until tomorrow." "Don Pianta? Are you kidding? Ordinary guys like me never get to meet a guy like him. Even if you were to meet him, there's no telling what he might do to you! If you really, REALLY want to see him, ask the Robbo boss on the east side about him. Yeah, I bet Ishnail will know how to get in touch with Don Pianta..." "Yes! You won't believe it! I got the fourth prize in the Happy Lucky Lottery! Tomorrow I'm gonna get the third prize for sure! Yes! I... I'll be here until tomorrow." "Yes! You won't believe it! I got the third prize in the Happy Lucky Lottery! Tomorrow I'm gonna get the second prize for sure! Yes! I... I'll be here until tomorrow." "Yes! You won't believe it! I got the second prize in the Happy Lucky Lottery! Tomorrow I'm gonna get the first prize for sure! Yes! I... I'll be here until tomorrow." "Awww... I didn't win anything in today's Happy Lucky Lottery... But I'll win tomorrow, for sure. Yeah, I'll be back tomorrow. I... I'll be here until tomorrow." "Dang! In today's Happy Lucky Lottery, I was as far away from first as possible! But I'll win tomorrow, for sure. Yeah, I'll be back tomorrow. I... I'll be here until tomorrow." "Aww... I lost in today's Happy Lucky Lottery. But I'll win tomorrow, for sure. I'll check again tomorrow. ...Maybe I'll just pitch a tent and live here."	ロテン４ Roten 4 Doogan 4
A blue Toad on the second floor of the easternmost house. Tattle: "That guy's a frustrated novelist. He's got great ideas, but he ruins them on paper. I think he just psyches himself out. I mean, he's got the talent and all..."	"Grrr... My wife spends all day in the parlor, so I never get ANYWHERE on my novel. I need to go off to places I've never seen to get inspired to write. Or SOMETHING!" "Grrr... My wife spends all day in the parlor, so I never get ANYWHERE on my novel. I wish I could have fun, too. I want to go to Glitzville and see the matches!" "Grrr... My kid just plays all day long. I hope he's growing up normal and everything... I can't work 'cause I worry about him. I need a dark, quiet place to write... No... If it's too dark, I'll just fall asleep, and then my novel will never get written." "Grrr... My kid spends all day shut up indoors. I hope he's not warped or anything... I sure would like to go to a deserted island where I could write without any worries..." "Grrr... I can't write anything good at all... I just stink. I stink at writing. I bet if I were to ride on the Excess Express, I could come up with a good tale..." "Grrr... I can't write anything good at all... I'm just bad. I am BAD at writing. Maybe I'll take the family somewhere far away to blast my creative side into gear..." "Everyone was so happy once I finally made some solid travel plans. Imagine that! It's good to take vacations. Yeah, real good... I even got an idea for my novel! It's gonna be 'The Adventures of This Guy Standing Right Here...Mario'! Yeah! If I ever finish it, I'll let you know. I'm not promising any royalties or anything, though." "The book I wrote about your quest was a huge success. It's even been made into a play! To thank you for the inspiration, I dubbed it 'Paper Mario'!"	キノピオＡ Kinopio A Toad A
A light blue Toad kid on the first floor of the easternmost house. Tattle: "I think this kid lives here. He's afraid to go outside, so he spends all day in here. He's got some family issues, I think, but it's not our place to stick our noses in. Kids this age tend to overdramatize their problems anyway, know what I mean?"	"My dad's writing a novel. But it'll never sell. It's terrible..." "My mom just plays games all day long. She doesn't have a job. She never cleans. It's terrible..." "My brother just plays all day. He never does his homework. It's terrible..." "I never play outside at all. This town is too crowded and scary and weird... It's terrible..." "It sure would be nice to eat dinner as a family and take a vacation sometime... But we never hang out together as a family... It's terrible..." "My family never talks. We all do our own things. I just wish..." "Hey, Mom cooked spaghetti yesterday! It was soooo delicious! And my brother asked if I wanted to play soccer with him! It was so fun! And Dad said we were all going to take a trip together. I'm so happy!" "My family is so happy now. So I'm happy, too!"	キノピオ子供Ａ Kinopio Kodomo A Toad Child A
A Koopa Troopa on the second floor of the house to the west of the easternmost one. Tattle: "That Koopa lives here. He must've been born lucky, 'cause he ALWAYS succeeds. He has all the money he'll ever need, but I think he's still unfulfilled somehow. Hmm... Then again, that doesn't surprise me, since he spends all day in bed. It just goes to show, you can't buy happiness, and you should occasionally leave bed."	"Yet another day dwindles away while I loaf in bed, doing nothing... Oh, well... I AM rich, after all!" "Yet another day dwindles away while I loaf in bed, doing nothing... Oh, guess what? I won first prize in the Happy Lucky Lottery today, but... I didn't even go outside. I should have gone to collect my prize... Oh, well... I'm already rich anyway, so whatever!" "Yet another day dwindles away while I loaf in bed, doing nothing... Oh, well... The Great Gonzales won, so I'm uber-rich all over again!" "Yet another day dwindles away while I loaf in bed, doing nothing... Oh, well... I sold so much stuff in internet auctions that I'm richer than ever!" "Yet another day dwindles away while I loaf in bed, doing nothing... Oh, well... I sold the deserted island I owned for boatloads of more cash, so whatever!" "Yet another day dwindles away while I loaf in bed, doing nothing... Oh, well... But all this loafing is starting to depress me. I may have tons of money, but I have no idea how to use it! But you probably can't relate to my problems. You don't look rich at all." "Yesterday I got out of bed for the first time in a while and went for a walk. I wandered under the sky... I had completely forgotten just how blue it can be. No matter how much money I have, I'll never be able to buy that blue, blue sky. But it's given me insight into how I can use the endless sums of money I have..." "There was this guy who said he wanted to turn the novel 'Paper Mario' into a movie. He said he wanted me to help him do it. Sort of as an executive producer. I read that novel, too, and it was pretty disturbing. Still, I was moved. I thought, THIS would be an effective use of my vast sums of money! Perhaps the time for me to get out of bed and become productive has finally come."	ノコノコＡ Nokonoko A Koopa Troopa A
A purple Toad in the Pianta Parlor. She seems to belong to the family living in the easternmost house. Tattle: "That's a parlor customer. I think she leaves her hubbie home with the kids so she can play here all day long. Yeah, that's healthy."	"I love checking my scores on this machine after playing games. I'm here all DAY! What? My husband is worried about me? Oh, don't be silly! He doesn't mind. As long as he's writing, he doesn't notice what anyone else does! ♪" "I love checking my scores on this machine after playing games. I'm here all DAY! What? My family is worried about me? Oh, don't be silly! They don't mind! They're all so independent. They're happiest doing their own things! ♪" "I love checking my scores on this machine after playing games. I'm here all DAY! What? My family is worried about me? Oh, don't be silly! They don't mind! Everyone in my family has their own fun, personal lifestyles! ♪" "I love checking my scores on this machine after playing games. I'm here all DAY! What? You're wondering what my family eats for dinner? Oh, don't worry about it! I mean, if and when we want to eat, we each just go buy our own food! ♪" "I love checking my scores on this machine after playing games. I'm here all DAY! What? You're wondering what my family does for meals? Oh, don't worry about it! I mean, if and when we want to eat, we each just go buy our own food! ♪" "I love checking my scores on this machine after playing games. I'm here all DAY! What? You say my kids have it rough? ... Oh, they're just fine! My kids are independent and tough! They can handle it! ♪ But...I guess I SHOULD pay a little more attention to them, maybe..." "Guess what! I made a big spaghetti dinner for my kids yesterday! They were so very happy! It was great! I felt very... I don't know...motherly! ♪ If I get to see smiles like those, I'll make dinner for them more often! ♪ ...But I still can't help coming here to check the high scores pretty often." "I went on a trip with the whole family the other day. It was fantastic! It was really fun spending time together as a family! ♪ I still can't stop checking the high scores on this machine, of course... But I'm definitely going to spend more time with my family from now on! ♪"	キノピオ女Ａ Kinopio Onna A Toad Woman A
A Goomba in the Pianta Parlor. Tattle: "That's a Goomba who really likes this parlor. He always seems to be in a good mood. I wouldn't mind winning like he does every now and then. Lucky stiff."	"Hey, how ya doin'? What? Me? I'm on top of the world, baby! Whuzzat, now? You wanna know how to get a Member's Card, do ya? Well, lessee... Maybe if you help someone in trouble, they'll give it to you..." "Hey, how ya doin'? What? Me? I'm on top of the world, baby! Yeah, I'm just fan-Goomba-tastic!"	客１ Kyaku 1 Customer 1
A Little Mouser in the Pianta Parlor. Tattle: "That's a parlor customer. She's a Squeek, it looks like. Good to see a girl in here. It's a good sign if this place is safe enough for regular folks to go to."	"Psssst! This place is run by Don Pianta. You can play fun games in here and win pianta tokens to redeem for prizes. Yeah... Play to win, and get those prizes!" "Pssssst! Instead of coins, they use pianta tokens here. You can get one pianta for three coins from this changer right here. But you can't change piantas back to coins, understand?"	客４ Kyaku 4 Customer 4

Rogueport Station

Character	Quotes	Internal name
An orange Toad near the Excess Express at the station. Tattle: "This girl's ALWAYS here. She's fixated on romantic scenes in train stations. I see where she comes from... Train-station platforms do have that romantic air..."	"Ahhhh, you gotta love train platforms, man! I bet this place has seen as many dramatic encounters as there are stars in space! Wow, the thought of it all! I just love it!" "Ahhhh... There must've been so many touchingly sad good-byes on this very spot! Ahhhh... It's just deep, man! I love the thought of it! I think I'm gonna cry!" "Ahhhh... There must've been so many brutal farewells on this very spot! Ahhhh... It's just deep, man! I love the thought of it! I think I'm gonna cry!" "Ahhhh... There must've been so many heartfelt reunions on this very spot! Ahhhh... It's just deep, man! I love the thought of it! I think I'm gonna cry!" "Ahhhh... There must've been so many heart-breaking good-byes on this very spot! Ahhhh... It's just deep, man! I love the thought of it! I think I'm gonna cry!" "Ahhhh... There must've been so many romantic partings on this very spot! Ahhhh... It's just deep, man! I love the thought of it! I want a romantic farewell! Oh! Wait! First I have to fall in love! Dang!"	キノピオ女Ｂ Kinopio Onna B Toad Woman B

Rogueport Underground

Character	Quotes	Internal name
A Goomba in the corner near the ruined fountain. Tattle: "That's a subterranean Goomba. I think he just moved down here recently. Even so, he sure seems to know a lot about these ruins. What's he do for a living?"	"Say... I've never seen your face around these parts. Who are you? Ha! I get it! You're a wanted man aboveground and can't be seen in town, eh? Huh? No? Oops! Sorry! Sorry about that..." "Oh, I get it! You're trying to open that giant door way down there, aren't you? What do you think is behind that thing, huh?" "The Crystal Stars, huh? Those are what you need to open that door? Well, I haven't been down here that long, so why would I know that, huh?" "You want to know what I'm doing down here, do you? Heff heff heff heff... I'm down here looking for the legendary buried gold, THAT'S what I'm doing! ...It's not like I'm unemployed and have tons of time to kill. Don't be ridiculous!" "Hey! You just came out of that tiny room with the door that won't open, huh? How'd you get in there? Does it lead anywhere? I must know!" "It looks like your little adventure has reached its penultimate chapter. I suppose that means it's time for me to go look for real work... Whoa! I can't believe I just said that! No, seriously... I gotta find that treasure..."	クリボー５ Kuribō 5 Goomba 5
A Little Mouser walking near the ruined fountain and the waters. Tattle: "This Squeek seems to be an archaeologist...and she's here to research the underground. But it sounds like she lost her partner down here... I feel like, SO bad for her..." (GCN) "This Little Mouser seems to be an archaeologist...and she's here to research the underground. But she's worried about her partner all the time, so she's not making much progress. I feel, like, SO bad for her..." (Switch)	"Oh, did you come here to do research, too? Excuse me? You're an 'adventurer'? Really! Wow... That's the first time I've ever heard anyone describe their occupation as 'adventurer'..." "Hey, Mr. Adventurer... You know, I used to have a partner named Pierre... But when he went broke, he turned to a life of crime... It was sad, really. I wonder where he is now?" "Pierre's a good person, but he spends money right and left without thinking. He made a ton on his book about the underground here, but he blew it just as fast... I guess...he was just destined for a life of crime..." "I accidentally ran into Pierre the other day at a shop aboveground... He said he left the crime biz when his boss fired him for having no thieving skills. I wonder what he'll do now... He could always come back here, I guess." "Hey there, Mr. Adventurer. Sounds like Pierre got his old job with the geological survey team back. I guess he's a legit member of society again finally... Or is he...?"	チューさん４ Chū-san 4 Squeek 4
A Bandit in Herb T.'s place. Tattle: "That's a Bandit who lives underground. He seems to come by this shop often. He must like talking to Wonky and the shop owner, huh? Go figure."	"Oh, a visitor, eh? Hey man, this dude knows EVERYTHING! He'll give you some seriously good advice! Of course, you'll have to pay him for it. Yeah. That's the way it goes." "Information is priceless no matter how old you are, man. Know why? 'Cause we're all MADE of info and LIVE on info, you catch my drift?" "So... What do you think of that 'Tattle' ability of your partner, man? If you don't use the info she gives you, then what's the point, huh? All the studying in the world is pointless if you don't apply it..." "So... Is the moon really cool, or what? I mean, I know it's not really made of green cheese or anything like that. Um... Pssst! Is it REALLY made of green cheese?" "'When the world is covered in darkness, the mustached hero will rise... 'He and his companions will banish the evil back to the depths of the netherworld...' This is an ancient legend handed down in my family... Heh... Actually, I made that up just now, but it sounds pretty convincing, right?"	ボロドー４ Borodō 4 Bandit 4
A pink Bob-omb in Herb T.'s place. Tattle: "This Bob-omb lives down here. That pink color's really cute... but I think this is a dude (GCN) / but, ironically, he's not very bright (Switch). He's got his own ambitions of being an info guy like Wonky, selling tips for cash... But his tips don't make even a tiny little bit of sense. Hello? Can you say 'stupid'?"	"I know stuff, too! Seriously! Like... When the wind blows, the cradle will fall. I just don't know WHY it falls. ...'CAUSE NO ONE TELLS ME!" "I know stuff, too! Seriously! Like... A stitch in time saves nine! You know, because time gets rips in it and stuff! ...Wait, is that right?" "I know stuff, too! Seriously! Like... Ignorance is bliss! You know, bliss! ...Wait, what does ignorance mean?" "I know stuff, too! Seriously! Like... Every dog has his day! Once a year, in fact! I think it's called 'Dog's Day' or something! ...Right?" "I know stuff, too! Seriously! Like... Don't put all your eggs in one basket! Because, you know...the other baskets get jealous! Me, I don't even like eggs..."	ピンクボム兵 Pinku Bomuhei Pink Bob-omb

Petalburg

Character	Quotes (excluding those during cutscenes)	Internal name
A Koopa Troopa near the west entrance who welcomes visitors. Tattle: "That's a Petalburg Koopa. He seems sorta like the spokesperson for this town. I heard this guy's thinking of running for mayor. He must be more ambitious than he looks."	"Visitors are sure rare here, but they're always welcome! Make yourselves at home." "I don't know if you know, but there's an odd-shaped boulder west of the village. Yeppity, that thing's been around since way before I was even born. I figure it must be a relic of a long-lost civilization. Sounds cool, right?" "You know, I bet there's a whole world we know nothing about past Hooktail's castle. But...wait! Don't tell me! I want to see it for myself! You know, explore. Like you!" "I want to have an adventure like you guys. Actually, I even went to Hooktail Castle once. And you know what? The drawbridge over the moat was busted. I couldn't get in. How did you guys manage to get across that moat with the drawbridge broken, huh?" "Huh? What's that? General White? Oh, he was here a while ago, but he said he was taking a trip. And then he left. Wait, hang on a sec'... He did say something about a deserted isle to the south... He was either going there... or NOT going there..." "I want to have an adventure like you guys. Actually, I even went to Hooktail Castle once. And you know what? The drawbridge over the moat was busted. I couldn't get in. How are you guys going to get across that moat with the drawbridge broken, huh? (GCN) / How did you guys manage to get across that moat with the drawbridge broken, huh? (Switch)"	ノコノコA Nokonoko A Koopa Troopa A