List of Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door quotes by character (A–F)

Main article: List of Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door quotes

This is a list of quotes from Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door and its Nintendo Switch remake by character (A–F).

Arfur

• "Did you check prices for me?"
• "Perfect! OK! I'm ready."
• "First, how much are they asking for Fire Flowers?"
• "And for Sleepy Sheep?"
• "OK..."
• "And how about Tasty Tonic? How much is that?"
• "...Wow! That's rough."
• "Those are some low prices. I can't believe they're selling that low..."
• "Hmm... Even if I try to compete with them, I don't think I can profit."
• "But it is certainly helpful information. Here's your reward. Good work."

Bandit

• "Heh heh heh heh heh! We're awful quick, awful agile...and just plain awful!"

Bandy Andy

• "Heh. Nice to meet you. I'm not in here too often, but if you see me around, say hi."
• "...Oh yeah, if you sleep in the bed over there, your HP and FP will fully recover."
• "It's not like the cushy bed in the champ's room, though: it doesn't refill Star Power."
• "Heh heh heh heh heh... Sorry, King K. Didn't mean to bring Queen Nag in here."
• "Shut up, K! ...Now... If you folks will pardon me, I must be off."
• "Heh heh heh heh heh heh! I do believe I'll go out for my regular stroll soon..."
• "Hey, how're you, Gonzales? You're looking pretty good. Glad to see it."
• "Hey there, Gonzales. How's it going? Me? I'm doing a little... research."
• "Hey, speaking of which... Ever hear of the "Seven Wonders of the Glitz Pit"? Yes, this place has rumors and secrets in spades, but... The Seven Wonders of the Glitz Pit are the most mysterious of the bunch. These things fascinate me, so I wander around doing research on them."
• "Well? So, how about it? Want to hear about the Seven Wonders or not?"
• "They say...there's a sealed wall in the minor-league locker room... Some say...the remains of fallen athletes are stored in there..."
• "They say...in one of the arena's bathrooms, a man-eating toilet lurks... Some say...that anyone who sees this toilet never sees anything again..."
• "They say...there's a room in the Glitz Pit with a second floor but no stairs... They say...no one has ever gone upstairs... And some say...that groaning voices sometimes come from that second floor..."
• "They say...that the champion's room is haunted... Some say...if you keep still in the room, you'll hear voices whispering from nowhere. Some even say...the voices are athletes who lost to the champion..."
• "My friend's friend's friend told me this one... He said...he saw a strange light leaking under the ring doors when no one was there. He couldn't see inside since the doors were locked. I plan to investigate this myself..."
• "They say...sometimes fighters disappear for no reason, never to return... Some say...that the very first champion, Prince Mush, was spirited away in this way..."
• "Grubba is a strange one... His body is incredibly toned, even though he's past 60. He must have an exceptional training regimen. Then, there's the matter of Ms. Jolene. They say...she suddenly vanishes at times. Some say...a fighter saw her go into the bathroom and waited for her to come out. ...But she never did. ...Huh? You think it's stranger that someone staked out her bathroom? Good point."
• "Heh heh heh heh heh! We're awful quick, awful agile... and just plain awful!"
• "Heh heh heh heh heh! That was too easy! Didn't think you could keep up!"

Battle Master

• "I can see you're brimmin' with potential, kid, but there's a heap o' stuff you don't know about a fight. Stylish moves, hittin' it big, there's a whole list. Feel free to hit me up if you got a question, friendo. Who am I? There's some who call me the "Battle Master," and I don't stop 'em. But I could. With fighting. Anyhoo, I got a great life–travelin', training'...uh, some third thing. If you see me around, gimme a holler."
• "If you’re looking for the Battle Master, you found him, pal. Don’t think I’ve seen your lack of mug though. You got a name, tall, dark and faceless? What? You got your name stolen? That’s a new one on me. Anyway, I’m gonna call you “Nameless Frank” for now. You need fighting lessons, Nameless Frank? I know my fights, lemme tell ya. Wanna talk violence?"
• "Hey, kiddo. You need somethin' from the ol' Battle Master?"
• "Outstandin'! Let's get down to business."
• "What're you lookin' to train up in?"
• "You wanna practice moves? Sure. Ready to go?"
• "You wanna practice guarding? Sure. Ready to go?"
• "Too fast!"
• "Too slow!"
• "Eh. Not great."
• "Huh."
• "Poifect!"
• "Bee-yoo-tiful!"
• "Whaddaya wanna know?"
• "Need anything else, kid?"
• "All right. See you round."

Beldam

• "The honorable Grodus has need of us? Then we arrive without delay."
• "Mmmwee hee hee hee hee... Pray tell, did the princess tell you where the map is?"
• "It wasn't my fault, truly! There were too many prying eyes there. Too many... Besides, a strange old man showed up at the moment of truth, and we had to retreat."
• "Why worry? All we need to do now is find this Mario and steal the map, yesss?"
• "Mmmmwee hee hee hee... Fear not, sire. I, Beldam, shall return with what you seek."
• "Let's go, my lovelies! Marilyn! Vivian! Come! We've got a job to do!"
• "Mmmmwee hee hee hee! Time to go to work, lovelies! Vivian! You understand what we've got to do, yesss?"
• "Oh, bad things happen all the time, Vivian. But you're right about our goals."
• "If my information is correct, Mario should be coming down this road quite soon. You must ambush him here and get that map!"
• "Hmmmm? What's this, now? Vivian! What's that you're fawning over there?"
• "Hmph! Vivian! For shame! Picking up someone's scraps? Disgusting! Greedy!"
• "But enough about that! Vivian, my dear pack rat... Bring out the sketch of that Mario guy you got from Grodus! Mmmmmwee hee hee!"
• "Don't be ridiculous! I don't have that thing. You were in charge of it!"
• "You wretched little worm! Blaming me for something you probably screwed up!"
• "Oh, what IS it, Marilyn? ...Huh? What's that? A mustachioed fellow? This is no time for such nonsense, you great oaf! Save your games for later!"
• "Now, now, where was I? You! Vivian! Don't tell me you lost our precious sketch!"
• "SILENCE, YOU DITZ! Such impudence! How dare you talk back to me like some rebellious child?!? It's clear to me that the only rationale your type understands is force... For your punishment, I'll be taking that necklace you just found. Yes, so sorry."
• "What is it, Mr. Mustache? Leave us! Scram! Right NOW! I have no business with you!"
• "Silence, you twit! Now's not the time to get hung up on stupid details! We must study this sketch!"
• "Wow! This Mario guy looks so manly! Check out that bushy mustache... How handsome! You know something, though, my lovelies? I swear I've seen this gentleman before... AAAAAAAAAAAACK! He's Mr. Mustache!"
• "Ack! I don't believe this! Vivian! This is, without a doubt, all your fault! I'll be dealing out some strict punishment later, my dearie! Oh, yes! I promise you that!"
• "Silence, you squirrel-brain! Don't you cop that insolent attitude with me!"
• "And about that necklace... I was thinking of returning it to you, but NO MORE!"
• "AND...since you caused this problem, you have to figure how to find this Mario chump!"
• "Well! If it isn't Mario! Shiny mustache or no, you can't be too bright if you came here looking for us! Mmmmmwee hee hee hee... And you know why? 'Cause we were waiting for YOU!"
• "Mmmmmmwee hee hee hee! I have no quarrel with you...but I simply can't allow you to hunt for the Crystal Stars. And so, I'll be taking that little map of yours just as soon as I deal with you."
• "Mmmmmmwee hee hee hee! Those who seek names are often disappointed, but if you insist, we'll tell you. We are…"
• "Vivian! You nincompoop! What are you babbling about? It's Shadow SIRENS! I don't see three beauties! I see two, but then there's you, and you're PLUG–UGLY!!!" (GCN)
  • "Vivian! You nincompoop! What are you babbling about? It's SHADOWS! The Three SHADOWS! “Sisters” makes us sound less mysterious…and less scary! How many times must I remind you?!" (Switch)
• "It's just a figure of speech! Ooh, you've got some FIERCE punishment coming your way!" (GCN)
  • "How insufferably sappy! Ooh, you've got some FIERCE punishment coming your way!" (Switch)
• "That's for later, though... First, we have to deal with this Mario and his friends. Let's do it, my lovelies...or rather, my lovely and ugly! Marilyn! Vivian! The might of The Three Shadow Sirens will be more than enough to win the day!" (GCN)
  • "That's for later, though... First, we have to deal with this Mario and his friends. Let's do it, my lovelies... Marilyn! Vivian! The might of The Three Shadows—RELATION WITHHELD—will be more than enough to win the day!" (Switch)
• "It's most unlucky that our sights are set on you. Well, unlucky for you, of course. Marilyn! Vivian! Let's show them precisely what we can do!"
• "What are you DOING, Vivian? You twit, I'll never forgive you if you lose!"
• "Hit him, Marilyn! NOW!"
• "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaack! You're tougher than I thought, Mr. Mustache. I guess it's time to stop toying with you, hmmm?"
• "AAAAAAAAAAAAACK! Now it's...up to...you..."
• "AAAAAAAAAAAACK!"
• "Mmmmwee hee haaaaaaaack! Oooog. Maybe we were just a touch overconfident. Marilyn! Vivian! You lumps! We would've won if you pulled your weight! Both of you, prepare for a world–class punishment session when we get home!"
• "Well, yes, sorry, but... Only because he's tougher than we thought at first..."
• "Mweee hee hee hee hee... Well, rest assured that I will defenitely nail him next time. We have prepared a weapon that will bring him to a quick and certain end."
• "Just leave it to us, sire. Mweee hee hee hee hee..."
• "Let's away, my lovelies! Marilyn! Vivian!"
• "Mwee hee hee hee hee... Yes... This time we'll take that Mario and get his map! With this Superbombomb here, there's no way we can fail. No, not likely..."
• "Vivian! Hand me that glorious Superbombomb!"
• "Vivian... Don't you dare... Does that "Huh?" mean what I think it does?"
• "Oh, you terrible LIAR! Stop making up stories to cover for yourself! If I don't have it, then OBVIOUSLY you must have it! And OBVIOUSLY you lost it! Or... Are you trying to imply that I lost it, you little lollygagging worm?"
• "Well, we can't do much about it, now can we?!? Oh, you are SUCH an idiot... Very well... I'm sure you must have dropped it around here somewhere... So why don't you look for it while Marilyn and I go take a well-earned siesta. And if you don't find it... Well, you know what'll happen, don't you?"
• "That's right, you little twit, so get cracking! Come, Marilyn. Let's leave this useless little fool to her chore."
• "Vivian is so VERY late! Where has that scatterbrain been all this time?"
• "Mwee hee hee hee hee hee! I heard that, my uglies! So, the sixth Crystal Star is in Poshley Heights? That's a rather nice piece of information. Thanks ever so!"
• "Normally, this would be where I finally deal with you and that homely (GCN) / sappy (Switch) traitor, Vivian... But something tells me that trying that alone might be unwise. So you live, for now. Instead, I'll just beat you to Poshley Heights and get that Crystal Star before you do! Mwee hee hee hee hee hee!“ (GCN)
• "Mwee hee hee hee hee! You're one step too late! We have the Crystal Star!"
• "We've been waiting for you, Mario..."
• "Thank you SO much for opening the door for us, Mario! Yes, that was nice! Thanks to your do-gooder predictability, my plan is progressing very smoothly..."
• "Mwee hee hee hee hee! So you still don't see it? Ah, such fools... The "Professor Frankly" you were with when you opened the Thousand-Year Door... Was none other than this little freak-in-a-sheet!"
• "Mwee hee hee hee hee! The real Frankly is sleeping off a nasty bump on the head in a closet somewhere! Poor thing! And once we get rid of you here, our plan will be nearly complete!“
• "Ready for the end, my dears?"
• "You and that traitor Vivian have a date with eternity!"
• "Shut up, freak!"
• "Come, my sort-of-lovelies! Marilyn! Freak-sheet!"
• "All right, my kind-of-lovelies! This time, we take out Mario and his goon squad for good!"
• "So...if I catch you slacking, you'll be in for INCREDIBLE punishment come tomorrow!"
• "Gah! Curse you, Mario! This is so very annoying! Blast it!"
• "Hey! You! Freak-sheet! Pull it together, will you? Don't make me punish you!"
• "Are you OK, Marilyn?"
• "Mwee hee hee hee hee... I'll leave the rest to you..."
• "Mwee hee hee hee hee!"
• "Arrrrrrgh... At this rate... She will never... Ooooof..."
• "Bleeeaahhhh..."
• "My queen! You have returned to us!"
• "Yes, my queen… I searched for a pure maiden that you might inhabit… And as I did, I spread the rumor of a great treasure… Then I led the fools who had gathered the Crystal Stars here to open the seal…"
• "I am not worthy, my queen…"
• "My queen!"
• "NOOOO! Let's get out of here, Marilyn!"

Black Chest Demon

Chest Demon 1

• "Whoa!" (GCN)
• "Hey! You! Can you hear me?"
• "You can?!? That must mean you're the hero of legend!" (GCN)
  • "You can?! That must mean you're the hero of legend!" (Switch)
• "Only the great hero of legend can hear my voice. Yeah! Everyone else...nothing."
• "See, long ago, an evil spirit cast a curse on me, locking me in this box. I was bummed." (GCN)
  • "See, long ago, an evil spirit cast a curse on me, locking me in this chest. It was a real drag." (Switch)
• "I've been here ever since, waiting a long, LONG time for the hero to come by!"
• "...So, yeah, anyway, big guy...What brings a hero like you to a place like this?"
• "Oh, yeah? Searching for the Crystal Stars, are you, now? So you really are a hero."
• "Well, you're DEFINITELY going to need my help if you hope to get those bad boys." (GCN)
  • "Well, you're DEFINITELY gonna need my help if you hope to get those bad boys." (Switch)
• "So, first you should look for the key to this box. Then use it to let me out. Definitely." (GCN)
• "By the way, the key looks like this" (Only on GCN)
  • "So, first you should look for the key to this chest. Then use it to let me out. Definitely." (Switch)
• "Well, I know MY vote goes to you finding that key. I'm sure it's around here somewhere."
• "This is what the key looks like, by the way." (Only on Switch)
• "C'mon! Being stuck in a box is no picnic! I'm counting on you, O Great Legendary Hero!"
• "Oh, if only some great, cool, unselfish hero of legend would bring the key here..." (subsequent times)
  • "Yeah… The key that looks like this"
• "Whoa, what?! You already found the key! Oh man, I owe you BIG!" (GCN)
  • "Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! You brought the key! Yes! Oh, man, I owe you BIG!" (Switch)
• "Ooh! C'mon! Don't taunt me! H-Hurry up and open it!"
• "YESSSSSSSSS! Thank...Ha! Thank NOTHING!"
• "Whee hee! Foooooools!"
• "Oh, BOY, did you fall for it! I BURNED you! What, you think I was gonna help you?!?"
• "Instead, I'm gonna spread a little of the suffering I've endured in that stupid box!"
• "Yeah! Sorry, but those are the brakes! I'm gonna cast an evil, terrible curse upon you!"
• "Buggly-wuggly-WOOOOOOO! You're cursed!"
• "Whee hee hee hee hee! Enjoy that curse, sucker! You got what you deserved!!!"
• "You wanna hear all about the sweet curse I just dropped? Then listen well!"
• "From now on, if you press in certain areas, you'll turn into a paper airplane!" (GCN)
  • "From now on, if you press in certain areas, you'll turn into a paper airplane!" (Switch)
• "Whee hee! Trembling yet? Suffer the rest of your days under my terrible curse!"
• "Whee hee hee hee hee hee! Oh, I can't help but chortle! You're DOOMED!!!"
• "This curse is pretty rough, I guess, so I suppose I owe it to you to explain it."
• "Ready? If you stand on an airplane panel like this one, the floor will start to glow."
• "Yeah, OK, you're on the panel. Now try pressing ! And then, bam! You're a paper airplane!" (GCN)
  • "Yeah, ok, you're on the panel. Now try pressing ! And then, bam! You're a paper airplane!" (Switch)
• "The worst part of this curse is that you must tilt Left and Right to control yourself." (GCN)
  • "You'll control your tiny paper-plane self by tilting forward and back! The plane will rise if you tilt in the direction behind you. However, if you keep tilting too much, you'll slow down and start to fall back to the ground! Once you start to rise, stop tilting ! Timing is key... Try it now, and suffer total aerodynamic humiliation!" (Switch)
• "I guess if you got good at it, you might fly a long way...but that's the ONLY good thing." (GCN)
• "So, be honest. Isn't this curse just about the worst thing that's ever happened to you?" (GCN)
  • "So, be honest. Do you fully understand the peril this curse has bestowed upon you?" (Switch)
• "Yes! It's so frightening, you lost control of your brain! Listen once more, crybaby!"
• "If you step on the floor panels that are marked by my curse symbol, the floor will glow."
• "Whee hee hee hee hee hee! If you press , you MIGHT return to normal! Maybe!" (GCN)
  • "Whee hee hee hee hee! When you've had enough airplane shame, press to deplane and get back to normal!" (Switch)
• "Farewell, you foolish fool! Whee hee hee hee!"

Chest Demon 2

• "What the heck?" (GCN)
  • "Oh, dang!" (Switch)
• "Hey! Guests! It's been a long time since anyone came here! A REAL long time!"
• "...Huh? You heard me? Wow!"
• "Wait a sec'... If you can hear my voice, you must be some legendary hero or something... Or not!!"
• "To be honest, I'm sure anyone with ears can hear me."
• "...But it sure is fun zinging people with that whole 'legendary hero' bit!"
• "Hey, but seriously, folks, I was wondering if you could let me out of this chest..."
• "I've been locked in here so long, I'm starting to cramp up like you wouldn't believe."
• "All you have to do is find the key and let me out. Easy!"
• "Huh? What do you mean? You think you'll be cursed if you open the box? Ridiculous!"
• "Who would do that, really? Wait in a box and curse folks! A real slimeball, that's who!"
• "But I'm not a real slimeball, and I would do no such thing! But that should be obvious."
• "Look, if you help me out, maybe I'll help you out. You know, a little I-scratch-your-back-you scratch mine. Except in reverse order."
• "Of course, you don't have to if you really don't want to. Like finding a Black Key is hard..." (GCN)
  • "Of course, you don’t have to if you want to. Like finding a key like this is hard…" (Switch)
• "You know the deal. I'll help you out if you help me out. Back-scratching all around! If you feel the urge to be a pal, see if you can find the key to this chest." (Subsequent times)
• "Hang on, what's this?! You've already found the key! Unbelievable!"
• "Hey there! Boy, I am SO glad you found that key! Unbelievable!"
• "No! Wait! Don't do that! Look, you found the key...now just use it to open this box."
• "WHEEE HEE HEE HEE HEE! FOOOOOOOLS!"
• "Why, only the most idiotic, pudding-brained dolt would fall for a scheme like that!"
• "The castle's traps prevent anyone who's entered this place from ever leaving it!"
• "No matter which path you take, you're fated to waste away to a slow, painful end!"
• "But wait! There's more to this great deal! I'll throw in a free CURSE! No charge!"
• "Oogly-googly-BOO!"
• "Wheee hee hee hee hee! Now you're cursed, doofus! And it serves you right!"
• "This curse is more cursedly curse-worthy than any curse that's ever cursed you!"
• "For...this curse makes you like a piece of paper when you press and hold !" (GCN)
  • "For... this curse makes you like a piece of paper when you press and hold !" (Switch)
• "Wheeee hee hee hee hee! What a curse! Who curses like me? NO ONE!"
• "Now I shall show you just how frightful a curse it is!"
• "Go on! Press and hold ! Press and hold now!!!" (GCN)
  • "Press and hold now!" (Switch)
• "You idiot! Press and hold ! Press and hold and be ashamed!!!" (GCN)
  • "What are you doing?! Press and hold and be ashamed!" (Switch)
• "Wheeee hee hee hee hee! Just look at yourself! How embarrassing for you!"
• "Eat a sandwich, skinny! Hee! ...Do you understand what this curse means for you?" (GCN)
  • "You'll be all papery thin while you press ! You'll try to jump or move and you'll probably just wobble there! Do you understand what this curse means for you?" (Switch)
• "You idiot! Press and hold ! Press and hold and be ashamed!" (Switch, "Once more?")
• "Then farewell, you dumbbells! Wheee hee hee hee hee!"

Chest Demon 3

• "Hold up! Hey! Who's there? I just heard a voice!"
• "There's no way that people could be here! Seriously, that's just so unlikely!"
• "...Huh? What's that you say? You've seen a chest like this before? Get outta here!"
• "No, no, no! I'm not like those chests, I promise! Look at my eyes. Tell me I'm lying."
• "I'm not, seriously! Just get me out of here! You'll see! Don't make me beg!"
• "...What? Come on. You know how ridiculous you sound right now? I'm laughing in here."
• "You honestly think I'm going to curse you when I get out? CURSE you?"
• "Well, I did plan on doing SOMETHING to you, but it's not so much a curse as a... Well, a really wonderful new ability that will allow you to go to special places... Doesn't that sound nice?"
• "Aw, come on, please? Just find the key and open the chest, OK? I know it's here somewhere, I just can't go look for it myself. 'Cause I'm in here. So pretty, pretty please? ♡" (GCN)
  • "Aw, come on, please? Just find this key and open the chest, OK? I know it's near this town somewhere, I just can't go look for it muself. 'Cause I'm in here. So pretty, pretty please?" (Switch)
• "Please! Pretty please? Find the key and let me out! Come on! Come on! Come on! I know it's around here somewhere, I just can't go look for it myself. I'm counting on you! Pretty please!" (Subsequent times)
• "Wait, is that... Oh my, oh my! You already found the key! Oh, happy day!"
• "What? No way!"
• "Oh! Thank goodness!!! You're going to let me out! Oh, happy day!"
• "WHEE HEE! FOOOOOLS!"
• "What were you expecting? Did you think a lovely lady would pop out or something?"
• "Now I'm going to hit you with the king of curses, the cursiest curse ever!"
• "Fear my terrible power! You will know the pain of having your body roll up!"
• "BE CUUUUUUUURSED!"
• "Whee hee hee hee hee! Now you're cursed, loser! Savor your suffering!"
• "When this curse strikes you, you won't even be able to walk! That's how awful it is!" (GCN)
  • "When this curse strikes you, you won't even be able to walk! You'll be forced to roll around as a tacky tube!" (Switch)
• "Whee hee hee hee hee! Your suffering amuses me! And so I laugh!"
• "Now show me your cursed plight so I can laugh all the more!"
• "Just press and hold , then rotate repeatedly!" (GCN)
  • "Just press and hold , then rotate repeatedly!" (Switch)
• "What's wrong?! You must press and hold and rotate the control so I can savor your misery!" (Switch, upon releasing before rolling up)
• "Whee hee hee hee hee! Your pathetic misery thrills me to the core!"
• "You must roll around like a silly cardboard tube! Oh, how you'll be laughed at!" (GCN)
• "Now... Do you understand the depth of your own agony?" (GCN)
• "You blithering nincompoop! Press and hold , then rotate !" (GCN, "I don't get it!")
  • "You blithering nincompoop! Press and hold , then rotate !" (Switch, "One more time, please…")
• "Whee hee hee hee hee! Press to return to normal! Don't forget, mush-brain!" (GCN)
  • "When you're in that form, you must roll everywhere, like some embarrassingly extruded wheel! I want to get a good, long look at you in this pitiful form! Now roll! Roll like a dropped butterscotch on a sidewalk!" (Switch)
  • "Whee hee hee hee hee! Well? Do you see how pitiful and tubular you are? When the suffering becomes too much, press to revert to your normal self! Don't forget!" (Switch)
  • "So tell me... do you now understand your eternal, cylindrical agony?" (Switch)
• "I leave you to suffer, fools! Whee hee hee hee hee!"

Chest Demon 4

• "YORK!"
• "Oh, sweet, sweet salvation!"
• "I thought no one would ever come! I had given up!"
• "...What's that?"
• "Spare you the prologue and just curse you already?"
• "Now... How did you know I was gonna do that?"
• "No seriously, hang on a sec'! Can't you just listen to my spiel for a little bit?"
• "I've been locked here forever, bored stiff, doing NOTHING but practice this speech!"
• "...Huh? I'm already the fourth cursing chest you've met? Are you serious?"
• "So...you're saying you know exactly how this is all going to turn out?"
• "Man, talk about a raw deal! You're a twisted little guy, you know that?"
• "OK, fine, fine, fine, FINE! I get the picture, okay?"
• "Sheesh! All I wanted was to see the face of some unlucky soul when I popped out..."
• "Is that so much to ask? No. Anyway, what are you waiting for? Just open it, already."
• "You know what the key looks like, Mr. Seen-It-All-Already! Some ghost here has it..."
• "So just beat him, get it, and we'll get this farce over with. Come on, now, I'm waiting!"
• "Just beat up that ghost over there and we'll get this done. He should have the key." (Subsequent times, after the ghost emerges)
• "You defeated the ghost! What are you waiting for? Pick up the key it dropped over there!" (After defeating the ghost, but didn't pick up the black key yet)
• "Yeah, yeah. Whoop-de-doo. You got the key. Party time. Now let me out, already."
• "Man... All this time waiting, just to get a jaded little creep like you..."
• "All right. Here we go... Since you're just itching to get this over with..."
• "A-HEM!"
• "WHEE HEE! FOOOOOLS!"
• "You dopes fell right into my absolutely brilliant trap! And now you will SUFFER!"
• "Oh, yeah! I am so EVIL! Bathe in the foul, awful... ...Wait, what was next?"
• "Oh, yeah! You fools will be cursed forever for your appalling stupidity!"
• "You will rue the day you opened this chest of DOOM! Now, you wretched guy!"
• "B-E C-U-R-S-E-D!!"
• "Whee hee hee hee hee! Now you're cursed, but good! SUFFER! SUFFER! SUFFER!"
• "Wait. That's maybe too much. Are you all right? That didn't really hurt, did it?"
• "Whee hee hee hee hee! Good! Squirm and suffer like socially awkward worms!"
• "From now on, in certain places, if you press , you'll turn into a paper boat!" (GCN)
  • "From now on, in certain places, if you press , you'll turn into a paper boat!" (Switch)
• "Isn't that just GRUESOME?!?"
• "Just try it out so I can see the depth of your humiliation! Feel the terror of your fate!"
• "When you stand on one of these Boat Panels, the panel will feel your curse and glow!"
• "Yes, stand here, slime! Feel the pain! And press ! Become a paper boat!" (GCN)
  • "Yes, stand here, slime! Feel the pain! And press ! Become a paper boat!" (Switch)
• "Whee hee hee hee hee! Oh, yes, such suffering!"
• "Do you feel the horror? Now you're a piddly little boat! Whee hee hee hee!"
• "You float on the water! People will laugh at you! You will be spit upon!"
• "...But it only works in certain places, so don't worry, it's not too bad."
• "You can control your paper-boat self with ! I will allow you to be the master of your shameful buoyancy!" (Only on Switch)
• "When you want to return to normal, approach the panel and press !" (GCN)
• "Now try it, worm!" (GCN)
  • "When you want to unboat yourself, approach the panel and press . Try it now!" (Switch)
• "Yes! Your pain is like a tasty banquet to me! Now, do you understand your doom?"
• "You IDIOT! Just press ! Try it again!" (GCN, "Run that by me again.")
  • "You IDIOT! Just press ! Try it again!" (Switch, "No, not really.")
• "Then off with you, you jaded, cursed boat guy!"
• "Oh, and hey, listen... Thanks for letting me do my thing. I feel better."

Blooey

• "Hey there, I'm Blooey. ...And this guy is a total liar! Don't listen to him!"
• "You heard his story, right? Well, he did TRY to throw me, but he completely tripped!"
• "And what happens? I end up landing in lava! LAVA, man! You think that feels good?"
• "Thanks to him, you can stick a fork in me! I'm well done! My pale skin's crispified!"
• "I'll NEVER forgive this guy! I'm gonna make him pay if it takes my whole lifetime!"
• "That's the ONLY reason I'm still hanging around with him! YOU'LL PAY, LUIGI!"
• "Hey! You! Remember me? It's me, Blooey!"
• "Maaaan, that last battle was hairy! You have no idea!"
• "I was burnt to a crisp, but I was actually kinda relieved, if you can believe that!"
• "But if you want the whole story, you should just ask Luigi here! Wahahaha!"

Blooper

• "Bloop! BLOOOOOOOOOOOOP! (Ouch! That HURT!)"
• "Bloobloobloobloop! (Who just up and whacks someone's tootsies like that?)"
• "Bloobloop! BLOOOP! (Someone with some serious moxie, that's who!)"
• "Bloobloop! Bloobloobloop! (Would you look at that! It's some saucy mustached guy!)"
• "Bloopity bloop! Blooooo! (He's in a WORLD of hurt!)"
• "BlooblooblooblooblooBLOOP! (I'll give him a taste of the old tentacle trample!)"
• "BLUH-BLOOOOOOOP!"

Bobbery

• "Harumph! What poppycock... Tell me, what would you want with me if I were this chump?"
• "Awfully sorry, dear boy, but when I say "no", what I mean is...NO!"
• "Oh, by Blabberton's beard! Not you again!"
• "By Blubbery's blotches! Is that Mario over there? You're alive, old boy!"
• "You came just in the nick of time! Get these two out of here this instant!"
• "Just leave it to me, eh? I'll keep these ghouls busy while you get out of here! Flee! That's an order! Let me do what I must do! NOW, AWAY WITH YOU!"
• "HAAAAACK! PBBBTTHH! Uuurrrrgh... Get me that Chuckola Cola, old boy..."
• "HUP! HUP! WOT WOT?!? Yobbity yobbity...PIRATES! Where are those pirates?!?"
• "I'm sure my sea legs and explosive personality will be rather useful, eh?"
• "Flavio, old boy... I must say... You talk rather too much."
• "We've done it, old boy! I should say he won't be too keen on seeing us again, eh?"
• "Call it an old sea bomb's intuition, but that skull rock smells...suspicious."
• "Flavio, you old cash-grubber! If you want the treasure, why don't you go get it yourself?"
• "There you have it, Flavio! Fair and square, eh wot?"
• "Ah... Well, I say, that cursed chap seems rather a bit of all right, eh?"
• "By Chowderton's cheeks! That dreadful voice again... Those ghosts must be near..."
• "On your toes, old bean! That can only be an e-mail from Princess Peach!"
• "Great Goobery! Your princess is no one to be trifled with! We'd best get to work, too!"
• "Wait a tick! I've heard tell that only the rich and famous call that place home..."
• "Harumph! Sounds positively scintillating, dear boy. Point us there!"
• "Pardon me for saying so, but mustn't you have wealth or fame to ride that train?"
• "Ah...no. Terribly sorry. Mm-mm. Impossible. Can't do it. The man's reprehensible! ...Well, drat. I suppose there's nothing for it, eh, old boy? If we must, we must. Let's go."
• "Jolly good show! We'll reach Poshley Heights in time for tea, eh? Finding that sixth Crystal Star shouldn't be more taxing than a vacation, eh wot?"
• "Mario! That bodes ill! I suggest we reach Poshley Heights before that crone! Look alive, man! We are off to Rogueport Station!"
• "Harumph! The Excess Express! Rather posh, I must say! Yes, rather posh, indeed! The three days to Poshley Heights ought to pass in an eyeblink, eh, old boy?"
• "Rather odd threat, eh? You don't think that Beldam crone's responsible, do you?"
• "Well, regardless of who it may be, the scoundrel is surely on this very train! Let's roust this swine before he or she has the chance to cause mischief!"
  • "Well, regardless of who it may be, the scoundrel is surely on this very train! Let's roust this swine before they have the chance to cause mischief!" (Switch)
• "What makes me say that? I've a sea lion's nose for scoundrels, old boy!"
• "I should think they are the perpetrators behind the drawbridge debacle! Let's make haste, find the switch, and switch it back!"
• "Right! Let's have ourselves a snooze so we're right as rain in the morning!"
• "Ah, nothing quite like a new day, eh, old boy? And what a cool and brisk morning! Clears the sinuses!"
• "What IS that rank thing? ...Horrors! Mario, look! It's got the other passengers!"
• "Confound it all! Now what?"
• "Blast it all! We're too late!!! Quick! After them!"
• "By Crackifer's cookies! The moon? The princess is on the moon, old boy? Smashing!"
• "The moon?!? Great gobbledy! Princess Peach is there as well! ...This seems a bit...off."
• "An Ultra Hammer?!? Dear man, we've already procured one of those!"
• "Hmm... Yes... I see! Quite so! Destination: Fahr Outpost!"
• "A touch nippy, I should say! Let's do make haste, Mario. Fahr Outpost can't be far now, old boy!"
• "Old boy, I KNOW I saw a cannon the last time I was here, so do not lie, sir!"
• "Rather frosty, isn't it? Almost freezes one's mustache, eh, old boy?"
• "Harumph! Well, that was rather a bumpy trip, wot wot! Who would've guessed I'd get to do such a thing..."
• "Well, old boy, we're really on the moon, by Crabbery!"
• "You! You've been waiting, you say? Whatever do you mean by THAT, you boor?"
• "So Peach WAS here! Where did you take her, you hurly-burler?!?"
• "I say, old boy, I rather think YOU'RE going to be the one doing the suffering!"
• "We've finally got all seven Crystal Stars! Corking!"
• "Crockity! I say, old boy, did you just hear something?"
• "Into the breach, Mario!!!"
• "This place is rather ugly...but we haven't a choice in the matter, old boy! We must get in there and save Peach before this hullabaloo goes any further! Let's go, dear boy!"
• "Now who's this dragon fellow? I say, isn't that Hooktail, the guy you beat before? Yes, enormous, with rather grimy toes... Yes, that suits this fellow to a T!"
  • "Now who's this dragon? I say, isn't that Hooktail, the guy you beat before? Yes, enormous, with rather grimy toes... Yes, that suits this creature to a T!" (Switch)
• "It's absolutely titanic... What in blazes is it?"
• "Opening the door for you? My dear, repellant woman, what do you mean by that?!?"
• "Such balderdash! It's quite obvious you are in for a stomping, so let's have at it!"
• "Let’s leave these cads, Mario..."
• "This room gives me a rather foul feeling in my belly... What IS this chamber?"
• "So, this lout is the leader of those X-Nauts?"
• "No! So the last Crystal Star we found on the moon... We're fools!"
• "Watch your back, old boy! This burly fellow looks rather robust!"
• "What should we do, old boy? We're doomed if we don't attack him..."
• "Whew... Rather close, hm? At least we've settled that burly bloke's account, old boy. Now, let's save Peach!"
• "Mario, we mustn't serve evil! You must resist, old boy!!!"
• "I know Scarlette is watching over me from the other side! I KNOW it, old boy! If I don't send this queen packing, my girl will be most displeased, hm? Mario! Let's send this shady demon back to the darkness!"
• "Serve a witch? My Scarlette would be rather angry with me, I should think..."
• "What... What's THIS, now? I feel rather like a new Bob-omb! I feel fantastic!"
• "Mario! The time is ripe! We've almost done it!"
• "Don't you dare apologize, my dear! It was all in a day's work for us, hm?"
• "Well, old boy, it was most agreeable that I had the chance to meet you. If it hadn't been for you, then my dear Scarlette would still gaze down on a broken Bob-omb. Let's meet again, Mario! And this time, let it be on the high seas, old boy!"
• "Rather a crabby sort, eh?"
• "Leave it all to me, old boy! I shan't need help!"
• "I suggest you try a bit harder against the likes of us, hm?"
• "Well, you're hardly my type, either, you young scallywag!"

Bomberto

• "Oy! Welcome to Rogueport! Bit of a nasty place, eh? You got guts, comin' here. You look a bit green, so 'ave a wee bit of advice, on me: hit that Save Block to save. 'Cause the thing about life is, ya never know when you're gonna kick the ol' bucket."
• "Ooh, yeah, we got ships from all over the bloomin' world comin' in an' outta 'ere. We're, whatta ya call 'em? Longshoremen, like. We load an' unload cargo all day."
• "Good winds blow through this ol' port. Right filthy as it is, dreams still come true 'ere."
• "Oy! You! With the mustache! What's wif the stink-eye, eh? You got somethin' to say? Right, then, ask me anythin'! I'm like an encyclopedia, I am! I can answer anythin'!"
• "Ooh... Keelhaul Key... Listen, mate... Don't ask me about that place. I got no need for a curse from the pirate king."
• "So, you're wif these other fools, eh? You only got one life! You should treasure it... But 'ey, if you do go there, give my regards to all my dead mates, all right?"
• "Admiral Bobbery? Now that you mention it, I have heard that bloke was a navigator like no other. 'Course, I also heard he was dead. That's the thing about rumors... What's true?"
• "Yer another one o' them idiots, eh? You only got one life! You oughta treasure it! Well, if you do go to that 'orrible place, say 'ello to my dead chums, eh?"
• "You came back from that island alive! Mate, yer a bloomin' freak of nature! Yer a master! Yer a true tamer of the high seas! Yer more man than I am!"
• "The sky sure got dark in a hurry, didn't it? Huh. Eh! Prob'ly nothin'!"
• "Move it, ya landlubber! Huh? Oh yeah, right, right. You took on my trouble, 'ey? My wife brought my lunchbox to me, but it was empty when I opened it!"
• "I'm so 'ungry, I could eat walrus whiskers! You gotta bring me somefin' to eat! How 'bout a, um, lessee... Ah, whatever! Anyfin'! So long as it's food! Now get to it!"
• "Move it, ya landlubber! Huh? Oh, it's you? Did you bring me somefin' to eat?"
• "Hey! That looks right tasty. Chomp nomp gromp shnorp... Yum, that hit the spot! Now here's your reward! Thanks, mate!"
• "What, still no grub, mate? I could eat a narwhal! Bring me somefin' to eat! And make it snappy!"

Boo

• "My friends have all been taken away...So lonely..."
• "My friends are all gone...I'm so very lonely..."
• "Don't leave me alone…"
• "Sniff! Sniff!"
• "Are you going to be mean to me?"
  • (No)
• "Then, go away, meanie!"
  • (Yes)
• "Promise?!?"
• "Come on out, guys!!!"
• "MWAHAHAHA!" (when Boos are swarming Mario)
• "OHOHOHOHO!" (when Boos are swarming Mario)
• "HEEHEEHEE!" (when Boos are swarming Mario)
• "Heee... Hoo.... Heee... You said you'd be nice!" (after knocking a number of Boos away)
• "Let's get him, guys!"
• "YAH!" (After merging as the Atomic Boo)
• "WAAAAAAAH!" (after defeating Atomic Boo)
• "GRAAAAAAH!" (after defeating Atomic Boo)
• "HOOOOOOO!" (after defeating Atomic Boo)

Bootler

• "Lady Bow, your beauty is like the song of a nightingale in the evening."
• "Indeed... I feel you've grown into a fine young girl who'd make your ancestors proud!"

Bowser

• "Gra ha ha har! Bowser, the mighty Koopa king, has arrived! Hold your applause, minions! But now that I'm here... Kammy! You crusty old hag! Why did you summon me?"
• "Well? I'm dying to hear the rest of your hilarious story, Mr. Comedian! Do share!"
• "Ah... MAN, I'm attractive! Every time I look at this, I'm overwhelmed by its coolness! When I take over the world, I'm gonna stick these statues all OVER the place! Yeah!"
• "Uh...super. In that case, I order you to do some sit-ups, Tubby."
• "Boy... Do I even HAVE a less handsome side? Any way you look at this, it's perfect! When this world is mine, these statues are gonna be mandatory in all households!"
• "Wow... What a profile! Although...this thing could use a good dusting... Huh? It looks like this eye is a little loose... Incredible! The statue's eye is a jewel! I got the Bowser Jewel! ...Just kidding."
• "I bet you are, Kammy Koopa! Now, out with it! Why have you called me here?"
• "Pbbbthbtth! Am I Mario's baby–sitter? I don't care what he's doing! Are you going to call me every time that guy blows his nose, or what? Sheesh!"
• "Tuh-Treasure?!?"
• "The Crystal Stars, you say? They sound like good world–conquering tools! I want 'em! Hmm... Yes... Very good... Continue researching this for me, you brainy hag, you."
• "Do I... I LOVE Fried Eggs! LOVE'em!"
• "Gag... Ugh! I almost threw up just now! I can't stand fried eggs!"
• "But...what a weird question. Why do you ask?"
• "AIRHEAD!!! A picnic?!? You MORON! This is no time for fun! See, THIS is why my evil plans always derail! Because you clods always goof off! AAARGH!" (GCN)
  • "LUNKHEAD! A picnic?! Get SERIOUS! This is no time for fun! See, THIS is why my evil plans always derail! Because you clods always goof off! AAARGH!" (Switch)
• "HUHHH-WWWHHHAAATTT?!? Tell me you're lying, Kammy! How? When? WHERE? Who'd do such a thing? Besides me?"
• "Under NO circumstances is ANYONE allowed to kidnap her without MY say–so!!! I will NOT stand for this! I'm going to Rogueport, NOW! I've got to kidnap her back!"
• "I'm pretty sure it's just up ahead here..."
• "Good! Yes, very good. Then I'm off! These fools don't know what's coming!"
• "Ready to roll!"
• "Lemme at 'em!"
• "Inconceivable!"
• "I'm on fire!"
• "I'm hungry!"
• "Next time!"
• "Ain't over yet!"
• "Charge!"
• "Good to go!"
• "Relax!"
• "Hoo... I'm tired."
• "Still in it!"
• "Rampage time!"
• "Eh... OK."
• "Go time!"
• "Feel it!"
• "I'm sleepy..."
• "Timing, baby!"
• "Rhythm, baby!"
• "Feeling good!"
• "Concentrate!"
• "GAAAAAAAH!"
• "Too close!"
• "Last...gasp!"
• "Break time."
• "Here goes!"
• "Once more!"
• "I'm still OK!"
• "Never give up!"
• "Gotta do it!"
• "Hmmph! What a wuss. Yes, hide, chickens! I have no need for any of you! What I do need, though, is Princess Peach. Now, where is she? Tell me this instant!"
• "Bingo! Princess Peach! Man, that was easy!"
• "I've found you, my princess. I, Bowser, the mighty Koopa king, offer my greeting!"
• "Now, now! None of that silent treatment! You're coming to my castle with me!"
• "Gra ha ha ha ha ha ha! I see! I see! How refined! How elegant! Awesome! I suppose I could live with a silent princess! It might even have its perks, you know?"
• "P-POSTER???"
• "Great. Just great. Now I look like the huge, mighty king of GUYS WHO TALK TO POSTERS!"
• "MAAAAAAAAARIOOOOOOO!!"
• "Word on the street was that some mustached doofus was in Glitzville...and lookee here! Talk about perfect timing! And now all these folks get to watch me murdalize you!"
• "Gwaaaaaa ha ha ha ha ha! I am gonna DESTROY you! And I have witnesses!"
• "Owf! Well, I'd expect nothing less from you, Mario! Figures you'd get some licks in!"
• "GAAAAAAH HA HA HA HA HA! I KNEW I would rock you! Oh, that's GOTTA sting! Man, I'm feeling about a million times better! I'm gonna go grab a soak."
• "AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!"
• "Gruuuuuuuuuuurgh..."
• "Stupid, cheating Mario... Who would've thought that fool would be in Glitzville..."
• "Uh, no! Nothing at all, as far as you know! Hey! Did you see those little bite-size shrimps? What were those things?"
• "You're BOTH too old! HAR!"
• "It's hag vs. hag! Awesome!"
• "Uh... Nope! Nothing! Let's move on, shall we? You! Elder hag-thing! Where's the Crystal Star? And don't try pulling rank again: your answer, not your age, will determine your fate!"
• "Huh-WHAT?!?"
• "That jackal! Both Princess Peach and the Crystal Stars belong to me! To MEEEEE!!! If I find him, I'm going to finish him off once and for all! I SWEAR IT!"
• "Gra ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Forget that wimpy blimpy! I'll be riding THIS, baby! I snuck into Glitzville once before, so I know the way. No problem-o! You go easy on your old limbs and take the slow ride on the blimp, Gramma!"
• "Huh? That don't sound good... What's that warning light? Oh, don't tell me... AAARRGGHH!!!"
• "Watery ears!"
• "Beware squids!"
• "Haaaack... Oooooooog... A-CHOO! That was terrible... I gotta get in shape..."
• "...Swimming."
• "... GRAAARGH!!!"
• "It was terrible! You hear me? I swallowed a dang Blooper! I wanted to have FUN! But forget it! It's over! Go get me some solid info on Princess Peach and the Crystal Stars! NOW!!!"
• "Bleck! What is this place? Why is the light so weird here? It's spooking me out!"
• "Sounds good to me, Haggy! Let's go to it!"
• "Huh? Huh? Whuzzat? There's something in the grass! Yes, right there! I got the Twilight Blade! ............ I'm just joking. Sucker."
• "Uh, actually, it's YOU who's gonna spill every bit of info out of your big, ugly head! Yeah. Sorry about that. And if you hesitate at all, I'll show you no mercy!"
• "INCOMING!!!"
• "Huh? That was it? That was your big weapon? It didn't even go off! GWA HA HA HA HA HA HA! This is how you do it, amateur! Watch and learn!"
• "Grrrrmph... Hrrrgh... Bluh. I've got no Crystal Stars... I can't find Princess Peach... Twilight Town was... Well, it wasn't exactly glorious. WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?!? If this keeps up, Mario's gonna steal everything from my grasp! AS USUAL!!!"
• "Hmph! About time! Well done! This is where it all turns around for me! Definitely!"
• "No problem! Direct me there! I'll blast us through! I'm Bowser, baby!"
• "Puh-lease! No problem! I felt right at home! But...where are we now?"
• "Hello! Could it be? Aw, YEAH! A Crystal Star! Advantage, Bowser!"
• "Grraggh! Who's there???"
• "Gra ha ha ha ha ha ha! Oh, look! What an adorable little weakling! Hi, fella!"
• "Gra ha ha ha ha! Aww! Now you're sleeping! I KNEW you were a weakling!"
• "Whoa! The Crystal Star!"
• "Wh-WHAT?!? Speak English!"
• "I don't know anybody named Gonzales! Stop speaking in riddles, you chicken nugget!"
• "CRUD!!! Who do I have to flatten to get a Crystal Star?!? Who?!? WHOOOO?!?"
• "Well, we're here! Now where's this stupid Poshley Sanctum? A Crystal Star's there, right?"
• "Great! About time something worked out for old Bowser! In we go!"
• "Wh–What? That's... disgusting! Get away from me, psycho! You can't have my horns!"
• "...Whoa. I don't have a CLUE what you're talking about! You people scare me. Seriously."
• "Gwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! I am Bowser! BOWSER!!! Evil King Extraordinaire!"
• "Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! I am Bowser, businessman of legend! Fear my accounting!"
• "Gra ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! I am the great Koopa Koot! All-Time Ancient Babbler!"
• "DARN IT!"
• "Whoa, baby! Awesome! It opened! Talk about lucky! I guess rage really pays!"
• "Yes! This is it, Haggy!!! This is finally it!"
• "Gwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! At last, I've gotten my mitts on a Crystal Star! YESSS!!!"
• "What are you implying? I'm no little thief, I'm..."
• "Bowser, the Remorseless King of Evil! So I'll take what I want! And I want THIS!"
• "Bowser, the Shadow Thief! Not A thief, the BEST thief! I'll be taking this, thanks!"
• "The great Koopa Koot! I'm taking this! Mess with me, and I'll bore you to death!"
• "Whuh-WHAAAAAAAAT?!? A FAKE?!?"
• "You have got to be kidding me. You mean to tell me that LUIGI beat me here?"
• "ARRGH! Those Mario Bros. are the most annoying brothers of all time!"
• "Huh-WHAAAAAAAAT?!?! The Thousand-Year Door...? What in the heck is that?"
• "YAARGHH!!! Then I'm going there, too! IMMEDIATELY! And I'm gonna RUIN Mario!"
• "GWAAAAAAAR! Ooooooooooooooooooooooog..."
• "Urrrgh... That was a surprise... I didn't think I'd fall... Have I put on weight?"
• "GWAAAAAAAAAAARF! Why is MARIO here?!?"
• "I don't know what's going on here, but I'm gonna put an end to it RIGHT NOW! Mario! First, I pound you. Then, I take the princess! And then, the treasure!"
• "Gwar har har har har har! Aww, all worn out from battle, Mario? Yes! Easy pickings! Today's the day I flush a plumber down the drain!"
• "Gwar har har har har har! What's a finale without a Bowser appearance, huh? A cruddy finale, that's what! Now, hold still while I trounce you and take my Peach!"
• "Gwar har har har har har! I sure do feel good today! I am FEELING IT!!!"
• "OOOF! So, Mario... You still have some fight in you! Not bad!"
• "Graaaaaaaaaaaagh! No more! Kammy! Take care of this, you burly hag, you..."
• "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"
• "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! How could this happen?!?"
• "Mrrrrrrrrrgh..."

Bristle

• "Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo! You're gonna be coleslaw, kid! And that ain't good!"
• "Lemme ask you something-how does it feel to be coleslaw? Icky?"

Bub

• "Wow! You're big, Mister! What's your name?"
  • (Evil King Extraordinaire)
  • "Yuh-YEEEK!"
  • (Businessman of Legend)
  • "Oh, a businessman? Like… Business trips, bribes, and brown noses! Oh my! Wow. Tough life, huh? So, mister, are you in charge of the coffeemaker or what?"
  • (Koopa Koot)
  • "Uh… Yeah… Right… Mister, that name stinks!"

Bub-ulber

• "Top of the morning! 'Tis I, Bub-ulber. I am as happy as can be! Why? Simply because I'm surrounded by flowers!"
• "Most flowers keep their tongues still, but make no mistake, they understand us. ...Which is why I ask that you always speak kindly to our floral friends. Deal?"

Bumpty

• "Oh, hello there, guy! Poshley Heights is nice on a warm afternoon, eh? What's that? You're a great and evil king, are you? Reeeeeeeeeeally… Yah… Y'know, guy, I think maybe you got a little too much sun, eh?"

Businessman

• "Huh? I shouldn't give up so easily? Yeah, maybe you're right… OK! I'll do it! I just have to convince the Fat Dog guy! I'm on it! I won't leave this place until I convince him! Wow! Thanks for all your help. Here's your reward. What? Your inventory's full! Well, I'll leave it here, and you can pick it up anytime."

Chain Chomp

• "ARF! ARF! ARF! ARF! ARF!"
• "YIPE! YIPE! YIPE! YIPE!"

Chef Shimi

• "HELLO! I am Chef Shimi, the culinary expert! Glad to make your complaintance!"
• "So sorry! Cheep Cheep is my first language, you know."
• "Today's lunch is so amazing it will make your tongue cry out in shame!"
• "Please do taste it, so that my passion does not wither alone in a pot of loneliness!"
• "No! My heart cries out in the salty pain of misery! That was my masterbeast!"
• "And now it is gone, and I am left with tears of horror in my eyes!"
• "A mystery, you just said? ...And, uh, um, er, exactly... what kind of dish is that?"

Cleftor

• "Grack! Cleftor no like make friend with mustache."
• "No lonely... Him too weak... Now him not here. Sound normal to Cleftor."
• "Grack! Mustache better than Cleftor when Cleftor was Mustache's age."
• "This no ta