List of tattles in Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door (Nintendo Switch)

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This is a list of Goombella's tattles in Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door for the Nintendo Switch. Boss and enemy tattles are listed in alphabetical order.

Characters[edit]

Rogueport[edit]

"That's a Toad sailor. He seems pretty freaked out to be a sailor, but hey. I always hear him worrying about his brother, so maybe that's why he's so tweaked. Y'know, speaking of which, you don't exactly worry about Luigi much, do you?"
"You know that sailor who's constantly freaking out? That's his brother, there. Talking to guys like this, it seems like sailors always want to get back to sea... But they're pros, right? Do they really need to worry about each other so much?"
"That's Pa-Patch the Bob-omb. He's a real salty sailor type. Totally active guy, huh? Yeah, he looks pretty burly too. Gotta love strong go-getters, huh?"
"That's Cortez, remember? The dread pirate ghost feared by all? Ring a bell? Boy, hard to imagine someone that scary would like us... But he's just a big sweetie! Plus, he's like our taxi service between Rogueport and Keelhaul Key! I love him!"
"That's Admiral Bobbery. All the dock workers call him a legendary helmsman. I don't know if that's true, but he definitely seems like the most capable sailor here! I know he's been through a lot, but I'm glad we brought him around, aren't you?"
"That's Francesca's boyfriend, Frankie. He's the future of the Pianta syndicate. Hard to believe, isn't it? Still, he's the number two guy after Don Pianta. You'd think he'd be this tough guy, but Francesca has him eating out of her hand."
"Whoa! Mario, that's the guy! That's Larson, the thief that Goomther asked us to catch! So this is where he's been hiding! Let's nab him and get the reward! C'mon!"
"That's the entrepreneur, Flavio. He's, like, super rich. He owns lots of ships. I don't know for sure, but it looks like this ship is his favorite."
"They call that guy Lord Crump. He's one of the sailors coming with us to Keelhaul Key. I totally feel like I've seen him somewhere before though... Maybe I'm just losing it."
"That's Lumpy, a Ratooey. His dream is to strike it rich by finding oil. Gotta admire the dedication! Guys like this make me want to chase my dreams harder! Still... When I talk to him, it seems more like he's just up for whatever, you know?"
"That's Francesca the Pianta. She's "well connected," get me? Her dad's a big boss. She doesn't crave money or power or anything like that though. She lives for love. Doesn't that, like, totally melt your heart? People could learn from this girl!"
"That's Luigi's Dayzee friend, Hayzee. Apparently, Hayzee is an actor-director. You know Luigi's acting debut, right? The grass thing? I could never play grass... I'd wanna play a princess! And a prince would wake me with a kiss... So romantic!"
"That's your brother, Loogie... Wait, no! I mean, uh...Louie... No, I mean Luigi! If you wonder what Luigi's up to, I'm sure he'd tell you. All you gotta do is ask! In fact, it kinda looks like he's dying to tell you stuff, so you oughta rap with him!"
"By the sound of it, something bad happened to this sailor, and now he hates the sea. Sounds so sad... I wonder what he thinks about when he looks out at the ocean..."
"That's a Toad sailor who works here at Rogueport Harbor. I hear he loves his family so much that it's hard for him to go on long voyages."
"That's one of the sailors going with us to Keelhaul Key. He seems super motivated, so we're totally lucky to have him, know what I mean?"
"That's Bomberto, a Bob-omb sailor. He's small, but he's a super-hard worker. He doesn't just sail either! He loads and unloads stuff too! Look at those muscles!"
"That's a Bob-omb sailor. He does basic harbor work, like loading and unloading. He's kinda gruff, but he seems to have decent advice. Pretty OK guy, all around."
"That's a Bob-omb sailor. He's one of the guys going to Keelhaul Key with us. Why do you think so many Bob-ombs become sailors? Kinda weird, huh?"
"That's one of the Toads who's coming with us to Keelhaul Key. Sounds like she got tired of life in Rogueport and wants a fresh start on Keelhaul Key. Hey, she's young, y'know? That's the time to get out there and try new stuff!"
"That's Thriff T. the Toad. He and his brother run the Toad Bros. Bazaar. He says he wants to go to Keelhaul Key to open his own shop. Not a bad dream! I get totally jealous of people who stay so focused on their goals, y'know? But... how many customers does he expect to get on a deserted island, anyway?"
"That's Luigi's Blooper friend, Blooey. It's totally weird to find Bloopers on dry land. He seems peeved though... I wonder why he looks all fried to a golden crisp?"
"That's Luigi's Blooper friend, Blooey. It's totally weird to find Bloopers on dry land. He seems jolly to be fried to a golden crisp though... Did something good happen?"
"That's Toadsworth, steward of Princess Peach's castle. He's an active senior! He's been really worried since Princess Peach went missing... I hope we can mellow him out."
"That's Goomther the Goomba. He's always grumbling about getting ripped off... He must be easy to con. Which isn't to say that we should con him, of course!"
"That guy's a local Goomba. He'll give you advice and stuff, so he's OK. His tips totally might come in handy, so you oughta talk to him as often as possible."
"That's McGoomba. A Goomba, obviously. I think maybe he's on the lam from somewhere. I mean, why else would he be chilling in this back alley? It's nasty here!"
"That guy's Mousimilian. He sniffs out propositions that might make him loot. With his nose for opportunity, he could really do well in the straight business world... But I guess no one in Rogueport is really cut out for the suit-and-tie life..."
"That guy practically lives here... He must like it, huh? He's, like, the ultimate regular. As far as I can tell, he's recounting the tales of every love of his life, one by one."
"That's Ms. Mowz, the thief. Hmph. She jets off to exotic places to find rare badges. I'm surprised she has the time and energy for badges, considering how often she flirts with you! It's weird that she's the anonymous requester of the super-secret badge..."
"That's a bandit who's made this place his hideout. Seems like he totally loves this place... but would it kill him to clean up a bit?"
"That's Luigi's pal Torque. I hear he's, like, a totally excellent mechanic. According to Mechanics Weekly... that tool on his back can basically do anything. He seems ticked off though. I wonder what happened?"
"That's Zess T., a super-skilled Toad chef. With the right ingredients, she can make ANYTHING! She's like a kitchen magician! I am, like, a TOTAL klutz in the kitchen, so I really respect a chef's touch."
"That's the badge clerk that works part-time here at the Lovely Howz of Badges. It sounds like he really wants to open his own badge shop someday. Yeah, I think he's using this job to learn the business! Talk about motivation!"
"That's the badge manager at the Lovely Howz of Badges. For a manager, she sure is gone from the store a lot... Where do you think she goes? This shop's small, but it's totally adorable. She really knows how to decorate."
"That guy's Charlieton. He's a salesman from way far away. His prices are steep, but he's normally got rare items and pretty unusual badges. He might even have a few completely unique items that he dug up somewhere..."
"Whoa! Mario, that's the guy! That's Larson, the thief that Goomther asked us to catch! So this is where he's been hiding! Let's nab him and get the reward! C'mon!"
"That's the innkeeper, Podley. He looks distinguished, always polishing those glasses... I wouldn't mind having a cold Chuckola Cola sometime and listening to him talk... He opened this inn a long time ago, so he really knows about the townsfolk."
"That's the entrepreneur, Flavio. He's, like, super rich, and he owns lots of ships. What's he doing in here so early in the day though? Think he's doing OK?"
"That's your brother, Loobie... Wait, no! I mean, uh...Loofa... No, I mean Luigi! If you wonder what Luigi's up to, I'm sure he'd tell you. All you gotta do is ask! In fact, it kinda looks like he's dying to tell you stuff, so you oughta rap with him!"
"That's a lazy Doogan. He hunts shady "jobs" that he expects to pay well. I bet he's never done an honest day's work in his life. What a piece of work."
"That's a suspicious Doogan. He craves that one big score, but I doubt it'll happen. I mean, even if he did make some money, he'd just blow it. He depresses me..."
"That woman runs the inn. She's sweet and helpful, unlike most Rogueporters. If your HP and FP get too low, come here to get them restored with a night of rest."
"That guy's a Bob-omb sailor. I think he comes here every time his ship makes port. I don't blame him. This place has totally cool atmosphere. I'd be a regular too..."
"Toad Bros. Bazaar is run by a pair of Toad brothers. This one's Thriff T. They must get along really well to be able to run a shop together, y'know? But then again, you and Luigi are pretty tight too, right? You guys ever fight?"
"That's Plenn T., the manager of the Toad Bros. Bazaar. He originally opened this store with his brother, Thriff T. Those two guys... I can never tell them apart, y'know? They're totally identical."
"That's Darkly. He loooooooves the dark. He just stays here in the shadows all day long. Sounds kinda creepy to me, but hey, whatever powers you up, know what I mean?"
"That's Professor Frankly, head of the archaeology department at U Goom. He's researching the legendary treasure here. I totally respect him. You know the famous Professor Kolorado? He was a student of Professor Frankly's!"
"That's Goomfrey the Goomba. He looks kind of shady, I guess, but he's cool. People call him a "fixer." Y'know, a guy that can make any problem... just go away."
"That's a Bob-omb sailor. The workers at the docks say he's some kind of legend. I heard he was stubborn, but who knew he'd give us this much trouble? Seriously!"
"That's Pierre. He sure does seem to have a lot of free time, doesn't he? Word is, he's been busting his tail lately to catch the eye of the crime boss, Ishnail."
"That's Merlon. He's this odd old man who says really bizarre things sometimes. He helps power up your allies here. For three Shine Sprites, he raises a partner one rank."
"That's Swindell, the bandit. At least, I HEAR he's a thief, but I've never seen him steal. He's always whispering to Arfur about something."
"That's Larson, the bandit. The word's out on his scam, so he's laying low here. Of course, he wouldn't have to lay low ANYWHERE if he'd just kept his nose clean... You think maybe he just gets a thrill from breaking the law or what?"
"Who's this guy? Come on, you really need to ask me that? Gimme a break! That's your brother, Luigi! But...I wonder why he's here? I'm sure he'll tell you if you ask him."
"That's Arfur. He's always hanging around here. He looks totally suspicious, but apparently he lives by some super-stern moral code."
"That guy's name is Grifty. He's a laid-back rooftop minstrel-type guy. He tends to know all of the stories that get passed around Rogueport's streets. For a couple coins, he'll tell you one... and you never know, it might help on our travels."
"That's Gus. He's part of that band of thieves who call themselves the Robbos. He looks like a total maniac, but he's actually a nice guy. Don't judge books by covers!"
"That's Garf, part of the Robbo gang. I'm pretty sure he's related to Gus. He looks pretty gnarly, but he's actually pretty cool. Don't judge folks on looks!"
"That's Goose. Turns out the Trouble Center was being run by him and Ishnail's boys. He may look violent, but he's actually an intellectual. People surprise you, huh?"
"That's Ishnail, leader of the thief band called the Robbos. He REALLY hates Don Pianta. I guess that's to be expected, since they're bitter rivals and everything. He's got some issues about money, but he's OK otherwise. Who knew?"
"That guy's a novelist and the owner of this house. He has great ideas but can't write unless he's concentrating. I think he just psyches himself out. I mean, he's got the talent and all..."
"That's a parlor customer. I think she leaves her hubbie home with the kids so she can play here all day long. Yeah, that's healthy."
"That's a Toad from the west side. She's a big theatergoer, and apparently she's also a raving fan of Flurrie's."
"I think this kid lives here. He's afraid to go outside, so he spends all day in here. He's got some family issues, I think, but it's not our place to stick our noses in. Kids his age have so much to worry about...but don't we all?"
"That's a neighborhood kid. He seems to like going out and exploring new places. He has some big, big feelings about his family. I think that shows how much he cares for them..."
"That's Goomez, the Goomba. He must be totally tired. He's ALWAYS resting here. Who can blame him though? We could all use some downtime, am I right?"
"A new day, a new chance! That's Lucky, who runs the Happy Lucky Lottery. He's a real stickler for the rules, so if he catches you cheating... Well, just be careful, Mario!"
"That's Jerry, Luigi's Bob-omb buddy. He's a little different from most Bob-ombs. He seems rattled...and a bit bruised, as if he's taken several lumps to the head from a clumsy bridal decoy. Speaking of which, I wonder how graceful I would be as a bride... Hee hee hee hee hee!"
"That Koopa lives here. He must've been born lucky, 'cause he ALWAYS succeeds. He has all the money he'll ever need, but I think he's still unfulfilled somehow. Hmm... Then again, that doesn't surprise me, since he spends all day in bed. It just goes to show, you can't buy happiness, and you should occasionally leave bed."
"That's Lahla, a Boo. She works the desk at the Pianta Parlor. Her sister's Peeka, the Boo who works in the shop. I hear they both used to be models."
"That's Frankie, a member of the Pianta syndicate. He's a MONSTER when he's angry. Everybody in Rogueport talks about his and Francesca's public displays of affection."
"That's Vinny, of the Piantas. That guy there's his brother, Tony. They're super tight. They live for their boss, seriously. They'd put their lives on the line for him."
"That's Tony, of the Piantas. That guy there's his brother, Vinny. They're super tight. Tony's a wise guy who doesn't mind mixing it up a bit, if you know what I mean..."
"That's Rocko, of the Piantas. He's the muscle that keeps the parlor moving smoothly. He's new to the Pianta syndicate... and still a looong way from the top, far as I can tell."
"That's the boss, Don Pianta. It's true what they say about power—this guy's got POISE. But he's got a mean streak a mile wide... They call him "The Don of Untimely Death." Still, he's got a really soft spot for his daughter, Francesca..."
"That's Don Pianta, the syndicate boss. He's looking a bit grim, even for a mobster... Think he's OK?"
"That's Don Pianta, the former syndicate boss. He's retired now, but he's still a force. He must be here because he's all worried about Frankie and Francesca, huh? Or...maybe he's just worried that Francesca's cracking the whip on poor old Frankie!"
"That's Don Pianta's daughter, Francesca. She's head over heels for Frankie. Seems like she's got Frankie on a pretty short leash, but... Hey, they're happy, right?"
"I'm sure you know this, but that's your brother, Luigi. Duh. It seems like he's suspenders-deep in his own offbeat adventure right now. If you ask him, he'll tell you all about it... but I wonder how much of his story is true..."
"This guy really likes... No, he totally LOVES the Happy Lucky Lottery! He wakes up each day with one thing on his mind— that day's winning number!"
"That's a Goomba who really likes this parlor. He always seems to be in a good mood. I wouldn't mind winning like he does every now and then. Lucky stiff."
"That's a parlor customer. She's a Little Mouser, it looks like. Good to see a girl in here. It's a good sign if this place is safe enough for regular folks to go to."
"That's Peeka, a Boo that works at Westside Goods. She's so pretty... and surprisingly un-shy! I think her sister's Lahla, the Boo who works at the Pianta Parlor."
"This girl's ALWAYS here. She's fixated on romantic scenes in train stations. I see where she comes from... Train-station platforms do have that romantic air..."
"That's Laki, a train-loving Lakitu. All this guy does is sit here and watch trains. I'm sure he'd love to ride the Excess Express, but he can't afford a ticket. It'd be cool if he saved up enough to ride it just once in his life, y'know?"
"That's Luigi's pal, Screamy. Screamy creeps me out... I've never seen anyone like that. Where's he from?"
"That's your brother, Loozie... Wait, no! I mean, uh...Big Lou... No, I mean Luigi! If you wonder what Luigi's up to, I'm sure he'd tell you. All you gotta do is ask! In fact, it kinda looks like he's dying to tell you stuff, so you oughta rap with him!"
"That's Porter, the station manager here in Rogueport. He checks Train Tickets. I hear he loves trains so much that he has, like, a billion model trains at home. Maybe he's just using his adulthood to buy all the things he wanted as a kid..."
"That's Stewart, the blimp conductor. His job is to check blimp passengers' tickets. I hear he loved the sea even as a child and wanted to become a sailor... But now he's sailing the skies instead... I guess his dream sorta came true, huh? He's like an air sailor, or something..."
"That's the Battle Master. He's a master of battling. Let me know if I'm going too fast here. He'll teach you the secrets of battling and help you practice tricky Action Commands. So if you're having trouble mastering any aspect of battles, just ask the Battle Master! I mean, obviously."
"That's Ian Foomus, the infamous info mouse. He gathers intel about folks in trouble...instead of helping them. If you're stuck on a request from the Trouble Center, this smug li'l sleuth probably has the info you need. Buuut that info comes at a price, so only ask him if you're really stuck. Know-it-alls... Such a pain, am I right?"

Rogueport Underground[edit]

"That's the fortune-teller, Merluvlee. She's kind of mysterious, as you'd expect... She divines the locations of things or where we should go. People say she's always right. And people say all kinds of secrets are hiding under her veil... so I guess the veil is working as intended!"
"That's a subterranean Goomba. I think he just moved down here recently. Even so, he sure seems to know a lot about these ruins. What's he do for a living?"
"This Little Mouser seems to be an archaeologist... and she's here to research the underground. But she's worried about her partner all the time, so she's not making much progress. I feel, like, SO bad for her..."
"This Bob-omb lives down here. That pink color's really cute... but, ironically, he's not very bright. He's got his own ambitions of being an info guy like Wonky, selling tips for cash... But his tips don't make even a tiny little bit of sense. Hello? Can you say "stupid"?"
"That's Eddie the Mask. He's some kinda health fanatic... Lots of intense folks down here, huh? This one's the healthy kind of intense though, so he knows about Stylish moves. Ask him!"
"That's a Bandit who lives underground. He seems to come by this shop often. He must like talking to Wonky and the shop owner, huh? Go figure."
"That's the cola-bar owner, Herb T. He's a middle-aged guy with a wild mustache. He may look like just another glass-polisher, but he's an old-school cola bartender... He's hilarious, but I'm sure he's heard his share of super-depressing stuff too."
"That's Wonky, the go-to guy for useful info. He looks a bit iffy, but I think his tips are OK. Just make sure you get your money's worth... Not that you'll know until you pay..."
"That's Dazzle, the Star-Piece collector. He'll trade you badges for Star Pieces. Once you collect a few Star Pieces, you should definitely come talk to him. Hey, but why do you think he collects them, anyway? You think he bathes in them?"
"That's the manager of the Deepdown Depot. She seems to be pretty courteous. Hey, and there are some super-classy items on display here, huh? But jeepers creepers, what sort of person buys gold bars, anyway? Freaks, that's who!"
"Hmmm... It seems to be almost inviting us to do something, doesn't it? But what?"
"That's Punio, who lives in the Great Tree of Boggly Woods. And hey, he must be the one we saw earlier, right? Yeah, totally!"
"That's Professor Frankly, head of the archaeology department at U Goom. He's researching the legendary treasure here. I totally respect him. You know the famous Professor Kolorado? He was a student of Professor Frankly's!"
"That's Pine T. Jr., who asked us to find his dad. Hey, guy!"
"That's Pine T. Sr., who fainted in the Pit of 100 Trials. I'm glad he's home safe now. Parents shouldn't worry their kids like that, y'know?"
"That's Chet Rippo, the adjuster. He can adjust your stats or your partners' ranks. Me, I wouldn't trust this guy with anything more complex than plucking back hair... I know I always say you shouldn't judge a book by its cover, but still..."
"That's the charmer, Merlee. She's bright and cheery, huh? If you have her charm you, you'll receive various bonuses in battle. They're super helpful, so next time you have a chance, be sure to have her charm you! Oh, AND I hear she's the twin sister of Merluvlee, the fortune-teller!"

Petalburg[edit]

"That's Koops, from Petalburg. He's been waiting here, hoping to join you. He's a bit green, but braver than I thought... I'll have to rethink my first impression. I mean, he seems totally earnest, know what I mean? We should take him along."
"EWWWWWW! What's with this guy, huh?! It grosses me out just being NEAR this weirdo! All right, fine, whatever. His name is Dupree. He's this icky guy who tries to sweet-talk everybody. There, no more!"
"That's Niff T., the manager of the shop. You can buy and sell items in here. I gotta say, he reminds me of the guys in the Rogueport shop... Yeah, real similar... Hmmm... Maybe it's just me... Or maybe I should just... not worry about it!"
"That's a Petalburg Koopa. He seems sorta like the spokesperson for this town. I heard this guy's thinking of running for mayor. He must be more ambitious than he looks."
"That's a Toad from Petalburg. He seems to have a negative outlook on most things... He also seems freaked out by everything around him. Poor little guy..."
"This kid sure is a fanatic. All he talks about is video games, you notice that? I wonder if he's finished his homework for today? Y'know, homework's important too!"
"This guy's apparently a total die-hard Peach fan. He even collects Peach merchandise! He has posters and merch displayed everywhere. Boy, get a life, know what I mean? Hey! Mario! Don't tell me YOU have a secret collection of plush Peach dolls too!"
"That's Bub-ulber. Doesn't it kinda weird you out to see a talking flower? I mean, where's his head? Is it the flower part? Or the bulb part?"
"That's General White, the Bob-omb. I guess white Bob-ombs are pretty rare. He has a cool mustache too. He might even give your lip fuzz a run for its money!"
"That's the Petalburg innkeeper. She'll take care of you when you're hurting. Don't get all proud and overdo it out there... I mean, everyone has their limits. Hey, and staying at an inn will even refill your Star Power! Doesn't that rule?"
"That's a Petalburg Koopa Troopa. He likes spreading rumors about Hooktail's treasure. Unless...they're NOT just rumors... Hmmm."
"These are the Traveling Sisters Three. They seem to go everywhere together. They also seem... inattentive. Do they even notice each new place they wind up in?"
"These are the Traveling Sisters Three. They always seem so full of life! They also seem to flit off to each new destination without any sort of plan. I guess that's one way to travel..."
"These are the Traveling Sisters Three. They seem to go everywhere together. Sounds nice. Y'know, traveling. I wish I had time to travel with friends from school..."
"That's Koops, from Petalburg. He's got confidence issues... He's a... cringer, y'know? But he's definitely got a serious interest in Hooktail... I wonder why?"
"That's Koops's dad, Koopley. He seems kind of out of it. Are all Koopas space cadets? Then again, Koops is really with it... Maybe that's 'cause his dad is like this... Anyway, Koopley does worry about Koops a lot, so I guess he's a good dad after all."
"That's a Bub-ulb, a talking flower. I think he lives in Petalburg. I know he's a plant, but he makes more sense than these other quirky Petalburgers!"
"That's a Petalburg Koopa. He always seems to be worried about something. It's weird too, 'cause the rest of this town is so laid-back, y'know?"
"That's a Toad from Petalburg. He just seems like a regular Toad to me... But I hear he leads a secret life as president of the Luigi Fan Club!"
"That's Toce T., a Toad from Petalburg. She seems really huffy about something. She sure does keep a straight face though. I guess she's a pretty tough cookie..."
"That's Koopie Koo, a local Petalburger. She seems to be Koops's girlfriend. Gosh, she's really cute... She has a good head on her shoulders too. Thing is, because she's smart, she kinda mothers Koops a little bit... I guess it's a complicated relationship. But then again, what relationship isn't?"
"That's Kroop, the mayor of Petalburg. He just babbles, whether he's alone or not. I just can't tell if he's really senile or if he's just working that angle, y'know?"
"That's the gatekeeper of Petalburg. He's super dutiful about guarding this gate. But I bet he'd totally run for cover if real monsters ever did show up here... I just get a feeling about him. Goomba's intuition, maybe?"

Hooktail Castle[edit]

"What a creepy pile of bones. I mean, they're ALL creepy, but this one's SUPER creepy! I don't really feel like taking a look at it, but if we don't, we'll never get farther..."
"Koops's dad? No, I don't think so..."
"Hey, y'know, I wonder... Could this be Koopook, who asked us for help? Y'know, the guy who asked us to find him somewhere in Hooktail's castle?"

Boggly Woods[edit]

"That's that totally gross guy, Dupree! What the heck is THAT guy doing here? Omigosh! You don't think he followed us here 'cause he's infatuated with me, do you? And that's not a brag. Believe me, I would love to be wrong..."
"This is the youngest sister of the three. The oldest one REALLY picks on her, huh? I don't know whose picture they're talking about, but you think she really lost it?"
"That's Doe T., the Toad who asked us for help. He came all this way to see the Great Tree for himself. Now, let's clear out all the enemies here like he asked, OK, Mario?"
"This shady woman is certainly selfish and mean! I mean, what a total meanie! You see how cruel she is to her own sister? I wonder what went on between them..."
"I guess that's the middle sister. She seems like the strong, silent type to me. Hmm... I can't get a good read on this girl at all..."
"That guy's Charlieton. He's a salesman from way far away... who now sells things in this forest, I guess! I'm not seeing any shops out here, so we should probably buy any items we might need from him."
"These are the Traveling Sisters Three. They seem to go everywhere together. They also seem... inattentive. Do they even notice each new place they wind up in?"
"These are the Traveling Sisters Three. They always seem so full of life! They also seem to flit off to each new destination without any sort of plan. I guess that's one way to travel..."
"These are the Traveling Sisters Three. They seem to go everywhere together. Sounds nice. Y'know, traveling. I wish I had time to travel with friends from school..."
"That's Punio of the Punies. He sure is a hardworking little fella, huh? Don't you just wanna cheer him on? I always root for the underdog. Or whatever he is."
"That's Petuni of the Punies. She's Punio's little sister. I hope they can all live peacefully together now, don't you?"
"That's Jabble of the Jabbies. I think Punio and Jabble are old friends. I sure hope the Punies and Jabbies can live together in peace from now on..."
"That's Doe T., the Toad who asked us for help. I'm so glad he finally got to see this place, y'know?"

The Great Tree[edit]

"That's the Puni elder. She's ancient, but actually peppier than everyone else. No need to worry about her! She'll live to be 150, griping all the way..."
"That's Puniper of the Punies. This guy just needs to stop whining and do what's right. I mean, he's huge! When you got a big bod, you gotta step up and take charge!"
"That's Punio of the Punies. He sure is a hardworking little fella, huh? Don't you just wanna cheer him on? I always root for the underdog. Or whatever he is."
"That's Petuni of the Punies. She's Punio's little sister. I hope they can all live peacefully together now, don't you?"
"Well, that's a Puni, all right... Look, I'm totally sorry, Mario. Punio and those guys are the only ones I can recognize!"
"That's a Puni... You know what I wonder? Why are they called Punies? Because they're... Oh... right."
"That's Puniper of the Punies. He sure is big for a Puni. Too bad his head is big too!"
"That's Punio's sister, Petuni. She really cares about her brother. I mean, you can just FEEL her love for him! I feel totally awful that she's all trapped in here. Let's hurry up and help her and the rest of them, OK?"
"That's a Puni... And his name is as follows... Umm... Oh, Mario, are you kidding? I can't remember every Puni's name! I feel awful!"
"That's the elder that Puniper mentioned. You gotta be real old to be called "elder"... Being trapped in here can't be good for her health... Let's hurry up and help her!"
"That's Jabble the Jabbi. He seems to be friends with Punio and Petuni. If the Punies and Jabbies could just get along like Punio and Jabble... Maybe that's asking a bit much, huh?"
"That's a Puni. Yeah, uh, his name is... let's see... Punifred. Ermmm... All right, FINE! That was just a guess."
"That's a Puni. I wonder how long Punies live, anyway... I mean, generally, smaller creatures don't live as long as larger ones, but... Hmm... Maybe we shouldn't think too much about that..."
"That's a Puni. What else can I tell you?"
"That's a Puni. Hey, what is that thing on top of their heads, anyway? It's so weird... I swear, I just can't figure these little things out."
"That's a Puni... . . . Look, I already told you! I can't tell them apart except for Punio and his friends!"
"That's a Puni... Yup. Sure is. Look, what's wrong with just leaving it at that?! No good, huh?"
"That's a Puni. So what do you think that noise is that Punies make when they walk, anyway? Is that noise coming from their bodies? And if so, which part? And why?!"
"That's a Puni. At this point, it's starting to feel like they should be called the Plentis."
"Hey, what the heck? Mario, there's somebody here! Try talking to him!"
"That's Pungry of the Punies. He seems to be friends with Pungent, as far as I can tell. I guess they avoided any trouble with the X-Nauts by holing up in here."
"That's Pungent, the manager of this shop. Weird place for a shop, if you ask me. But since we're here, I guess we could buy something..."
"That's a Jabbi. Those stingy-looking beaks on Jabbies are kinda scary. Getting stung is NOT cool!"
"That's a Jabbi. It doesn't seem like they've been fighting with the Punies at all lately. Sweet!"
"That's a Jabbi. The Punies are pretty weird, but boy, so are the Jabbies! I mean, what do they eat?"
"That's a Jabbi. They have wings, but they just scuttle along the ground. Is that considered walking?"
"That's a Jabbi. I can't tell one from another though. I'm sure they can tell themselves apart..."
"That's a Jabbi. And that's all you need to know, smart guy."
"That's a Jabbi. They always make that weird face, like... "Huh? What did I do?" What? You can actually tell what they're thinking? Get out!"
"That's a Jabbi. Why do you think they don't get along with the Punies? I just gotta know!"
"That's a Jabbi, all right... Lemme see... Hmmmmmmmmm... I think this might be Jabbula... Or was it Jabbubbity?"
"That's a Jabbi. I bet a lot of them are really nice if you get to know them. Or not."
"That's a Jabbi. I guess they've lived in the Great Tree for a while too. Too bad they hate Punies."
"If you look closely, Punio is actually different from the other Punies. First of all, his dealy-bopper is green... His coat's different too... Did you notice?"
"That's Petuni, Punio's sister. She really trusts her brother. Let's hurry up and get her out of here. Oh, and all of the others too."
"That's Puniper of the Punies. He's a little bigger than the others, obviously. So maybe he can help us reach that special area... Hee hee! Just kidding. His only special power is complaining, I think."

Glitzville[edit]

"These are the Traveling Sisters Three. They seem to go everywhere together. They also seem... inattentive. Do they even notice each new place they wind up in?"
"These are the Traveling Sisters Three. They always seem so full of life! They also seem to flit off to each new destination without any sort of plan. I guess that's one way to travel..."
"These are the Traveling Sisters Three. They seem to go everywhere together. Sounds nice. Y'know, traveling. I wish I had time to travel with friends from school..."
"Awww, it's that gross guy, Dupree! What's he doing in Glitzville? How annoying! You don't think he thinks he's on an adventure with us... Do you?"
"That's a Toad from Glitzville. I think he works here. I don't know why, but he seems to be cheering for us. Hey, more power to ya!"
"That's a Toad from Glitzville. She really wants to travel, but she's terrified of flying. So my question is, how in the heck do you think she got here? Ponder THAT!"
"That's Bub the Bob-omb. He's from a very rich family, so he's kind of spoiled. Still, kids are kids, no matter how big their trust fund is... Aren't they?"
"That's the Businessman who was on the train with us. I don't know why, but I just feel like crying when I think of the lives of businessmen."
"That's a Lakitu. He's come here for the atmosphere... Get it? Atmosphere? Ha! Anyway, he seems to think jokes like that beauty are totally hilarious."
"That's a Lakitu fight fan. Apparently he thinks Prince Mush is the bomb. Prince Mush must've been a pretty big deal, sounds like."
"Gosh, what a colorful egg! Must be a good one, huh? I mean, you've seen it jump! So talented. But jeepers creepers, I sure wouldn't want to try to eat it... I mean, EWWWWWW! I don't eat moving things. Let's hurry up, grab it, and give it back to Mr. Hoggle."
"That's Goldbob the Bob-omb. He's the head of a wealthy business, Goldbobbington's. He's got buckets of ducats, they say. I guess some folks are just good with money!"
"Wow, this lady is so pretty! I wonder what her name is. As far as I can tell, she always quietly enjoys her juice in the corner, alone. What is it that mysterious women do to become so mysterious? What a mystery!"
"That's Mr. Hoggle from the hot-dog stand. He's sold dogs for like, 30 years! Nobody's as hot for Hot Dogs as him. He's always looking for the next miracle Hot Dog! Anyway, his dogs are famous. Nobody comes to visit here without having one."
"That's Sylvia the Bob-omb. She's super wealthy. She's got a real high-society air around her... Even her perfume smells like money."
"That's a Doogan. He's really into pro fights. Obviously, he loves the Glitz Pit. You can always tell true fight fans by how totally rabid their opinions are."
"That's a Doogan fight fan. He seems to be a totally huge Rawk Hawk fan. Know what I think though? He mostly just wants to win his bets."
"That's the manager of the Glitzville fresh-juice shop. His name is Podler. Looks like a lot of fight fans gather here since the Glitz Pit is so close. Oh, hey, and by the way... Podler is a huge hammer fan. He totally LOVES hammers."
"This is the Toad that runs the Glitzville souvenir shop. They've got great stuff here. Tourists shop here a lot, but I hear that a lot of fighters do too."
"That's Stewart, the blimp conductor. He checks tickets for blimp passengers. He's what you call a Cheep Cheep. Normally they don't hang out on land, but... They've actually been around for quite a while in the Mario Bros. series, you know. Oh gosh, I just broke through the fourth wall, there, didn't I? Sorry. Just forget it."

Glitz Pit[edit]

"That's a local cameraman. He seems a little flustered. I think he's new at this and makes lots of mistakes. Just a guess though."
"That's a freelancer. He's always angling for the next big scoop. We'd better make sure this guy doesn't shoot us doing anything... incriminating."
"That's a Toad who works here part-time. He always greets patrons like, "Welcome to the Glitz Pit!" Love that guy!"
"This guy's here with his son. I can't tell if he's psyched to be here with his boy, but... one way or the other, it's nice to see parents spending time with their kids."
"That's a Toad girl. She's totally in love with that Toad guy working here. Her crush is so powerful, even I'M getting butterflies! They'd be so CUTE together!"
"This kid is still small, but he's, like, the biggest Prince Mush fan I've ever SEEN! He's here with his dad. It's so CUTE to see kids and parents having fun!"
"Ah! The champ, Rawk Hawk. He sure has the star quality you'd expect from a champ. But know what? Who cares? Everybody knows we're gonna be the next champions!"
"That's Ms. Mowz, the thief. She jets off to exotic locales to hunt for rare badges. The fact that she's here means the Glitz Pit must have something special..."
"That's Toodles the Toad. GOSH, this woman knows how to dress. I'm SO jealous! Even classy ladies like her come to watch the fights. I guess she likes tough guys..."
"That's a local reporter. I'm pretty sure he covers the fight scene. He's such a veteran, he even directs the rookie cameraman next to him."
"That's a Toad spectator. He seems like the kind of fan that comes to the Glitz Pit on the regular. Fighters go all out when they hear a die-hard fan like this guy. He cheers with everything he's got!"
"That's a Toad spectator. Looks like she's here to make noise no matter who's fighting. I totally get it. Screaming your head off can be cathartic... and fun is fun at any volume!"
"That's a Doogan spectator. He's the type of fan who likes to predict the winner out loud while he watches. If you're gonna make a prediction out loud, you'd better know what you're talking about... I think this guy does!"
"That's a Lakitu spectator. He comes to the Glitz Pit every day, cheering and jeering from dawn to dusk. Looks like he's really into this match! He'd be even more excited if he could actually hear what anyone is saying."
"That's a Toad spectator. He's always cheering from his favorite spot on the second floor. He probably knows a few tricks to get the audience's attention... Some of them might actually come in handy!"
"That's a Toad spectator. She's a huge fan of one specific fighter and never misses one of their matches. She also enjoys giving nicknames to her favorite fighters too... Oh! Mario! You should ask her for one!"
"That's a Doogan spectator. He comes here every day in hopes of seeing the Championship Belt. Rumor has it that he hopes to earn the belt for himself within the next five years... He'd better be training!"
"That's a Lakitu spectator. He gives advice to all the Glitz Pit fighters... whether they want it or not. As you might expect, that advice is always a bit... off. If you take his words to heart, prepare for disappointment."
"This guy is Glitz Pit security. He has to keep watch on this particular area. You can tell this guy works out all the time. I bet he's buffer than the fighters." (used for multiple characters)
"This guy is Glitz Pit security. He has to keep watch on this particular area. This guy has arms as big as your thighs, Mario. I bet he's buffer than the fighters."
"That's Bandy Andy. He's always wandering around "investigating" stuff. Who knows if it'll help us, but I'm sure he's got plenty of info to share."
"That's Grubba, the Glitz Pit promoter. He talks a good game... a little TOO good. Then again, I guess promoters kinda HAVE to be super-greasy smooth talkers. Besides, it doesn't matter if he's trustworthy. We have to deal with him to be champs."
"That's Jolene, the Glitz Pit promoter. She's a real strong businesswoman. Boy, I wouldn't want her mad at me, know what I mean? She's all business!"
"That's Shellshock. He seems to be totally on top of his game. For some reason, though, I think he's just a big softie. Maybe I'm thinking too much..."
"That's the Koopinator. He definitely looks tough. When we fight against him, it'd be a good idea to have a strategy from the get-go."
"That guy's Spiky Joe. He's a major leaguer, so we'll see him in the ring. He's super proud of his hard shell and the pointy spike on top of it. Whatever."
"That's Hamma Jamma. He must be one of the strongest major leaguers. He's got a hammer, like you do. I think that hammer is REALLY important to him."
"That's the older of the Iron Adonis Twins. You can tell he's older by his red shoes. I don't think they took their loss to you too well, Mario. I'd be careful around them..."
"That's the younger of the Iron Adonis Twins. He and his brother totally hate you. Is it a rule that older brothers wear red shoes and younger brothers wear green?"
"That's Master Crash, the Bob-omb. He gives really good advice most of the time. Isn't it, like, so totally nice to have a mentor who cares about you?"
"That's Cleftor. He might sound a bit gruff... But I think he's actually nicer than he sounds, y'know? Maybe he's just a little shy."
"That's Grubba's manager, Jolene. She seems really focused on her job. She's also a bit concise. And impersonal. And... rude, I'm just gonna say it."
"That's Bandy Andy. He's a competitor in this league, but he's never here. Maybe he just doesn't care about being champion..."
"That's Sir Swoop. He just got on board here. Hey, now HE'S the newbie! You definitely notice how quick the turnaround is when new people come in..."
"That's King K, a fighter. His shell's yellow, but I think he's just a basic Koopa. He seems like a genuinely good guy, Mario. Plus, I dig the way he talks!"
"Bandy Andy looks terrible! Who could have done this?!"
"Awww, poor King K! What happened here?!"
"That's Prince Mush. He's Jolene's younger brother. Poor guy's been through a lot, so it's great that he's able to return to the ring like this... He's all set for the Exhibition Match. I bet he's a tough opponent...so be ready for a doozy of a fight!"

Twilight Town[edit]

"That's Gloomer the pig... I mean... Gloomer, the guy who got turned into a pig. When I think of him having to live like this, I get oinked up... I mean, choked up..."
"That's a Twilighter who got turned into a pig. He seems like a happy guy...even as a pig. Some people are just like that, I guess!"
"That's a Twilighter who got turned into a pig. This guy... I bet he didn't think he'd ever be forced to sniff out truffles, huh?"
"This pig also used to be a Twilighter. This is all just so totally tragic..."
"Even the mayor got turned into a pig! At this rate, they'll all be pigs soon. And then... maybe even us... NO WAY!"
"That's the guy who runs the Twilight Town inn. Be sure to rest here when you're down. Just remember, when you wake up in the morning, it's still gonna be dusk!"
"That's Gloomer of Twilight Town. I'm so stoked that he's back to normal! If it had taken any longer, he might've ended up as a pork chop!"
"That's a local Twilighter. I have no idea if he or she's gloomy or jolly or what. I mean, I GUESS that's a pretty optimistic-looking person, but what do I know?"
"That's another Twilighter. He seems to be stuck on some dark thoughts... Hopefully he won't worry himself sick. That can turn out worse than what you're afraid of sometimes..."
"That's a Twilighter. He's brightened up a bunch though! We got him back to normal, but I'm not sure he really cared about being a pig."
"That's a local Twilighter. He sounds like he's totally bumming though. You think maybe he wanted to stay a pig?"
"This is a Twilighter. She used to be a pig, I think...but she's better now. Do you think there was anything fun about being a pig? It would probably be insensitive to ask..."
"That's the Twilight Town mayor. He doesn't seem too reliable though. I guess he's been through a lot though, so maybe I oughta cut him some slack."
"That's Eve. It must be hard work raising all these kids, so I totally respect her. My mom always said that only hard work brings happiness... You think that's true?"
"That's the wife of the Twilight Shop manager. They run this place together. She seems like she really loves her husband, y'know? That is SO sweet! She seems kinda indecisive sometimes though..."
"I feel like I've met these pigs before... How is that possible?"
"I KNOW she didn't turn into a pig to feed her hungry children... That would be TOO gnarly! But that is some spooky timing, I swear..."
"That's the shop manager...who's now a pig. Yuck. What a totally awful fate..."
"I like the sound of this pig's oink. It's got a nice bass tone. What, is that weird?"
"This pig also used to be a Twilighter. There's something strange about it..."
"That's the gatekeeper, who's been... piggified. I feel bad, but I guess we can pass freely..."
"That's the oldest of three brothers. They're all close in age, so he's not much older."
"That's the middle of three brothers. The middle child is so "middle child," y'know? Does that... even make sense?"
"That's the youngest of three brothers. Hmmm... Not that I can really tell just by looking."
"That's a novelist who lives in Twilight Town. I wonder what kind of novels he writes? I can't believe people actually read in this town. The light would kill my eyes."
"That's a local Twilighter. He's pretty into how important the moon is here. I gotta admit, it sure is prominent in this dusk... but he still may be a werewolf."
"That's a local Twilighter. Are all these people wearing major eyeliner or what? Oh! Maybe it's, like, a local fashion thing! Didn't they get the memo that goth is out?"
"That's a local Twilighter. This person is still oinking. That's... not normal. You think this Twilighter's still not completely human?"
"That's a Twilighter. She may seem peaceful now, but she went hog wild in her youth. Pretty ironic, isn't it?"
"That's the Twilight Shop manager. He does most of the ordering and stocking. And I guess his wife handles the customers. I thought he looked sick at first, but that's normal for these people, I guess."
"That's the gatekeeper of Twilight Town. There's a guy like this in every town, huh? If there weren't, you'd go wherever you want and beat the game so fast... Hee hee! Never mind. Let's never speak of it again..."
"This little fella seems oddly relaxed, don't you think? Something tells me this is not a normal pig..."
"This pig is a Twilighter. The shock of being cursed made him lose his way, I bet."

Creepy Steeple[edit]

"That's a Boo. A familiar, floating, fluffy ghost. Do you think it's stuck in this room somehow? Feels like there's a story behind this..."
"That's Doopliss's parrot. Seems like he's been abandoned down here... Poor little guy..."
"That's a Boo. This guy loves quizzes, so he challenges anyone who enters. If he never leaves this room, which seems to be the case... where is he getting all of this information?!"

Keelhaul Key[edit]

"That's the timid Toad sailor. He came looking for his brother, who was lost at sea, and now he is too..."
"That's Pa-Patch the Bob-omb. He's a salty old sailor and a totally solid deckhand. But...he's afraid of ghosts."
"I... totally... can't... BELIEVE... it! How's this guy know where we're gonna be all the time? And did he SWIM here or something? Please... Please tell me this is a nightmare..."
"That's a rare Whacka. I don't think you see many of his kind anymore, nope. If you whack a Whacka, they drop a Whacka Bump. Those are supposed to be delicious. They fetch a high price in gourmet auctions too. Yup, super-precious delicacies. Still, whacking a defenseless creature to get one... You'd never do that, right, Mario?"
"That's Cortez, remember? The dread pirate ghost feared by all? Ring a bell? Boy, hard to imagine someone that scary would like us... But he's just a big sweetie! Plus, he's like our taxi service between Rogueport and Keelhaul Key! I love him!"
"That's Francesca's boyfriend, Frankie. He's the future of the Pianta syndicate. Hard to believe, isn't it? Still, he's the number two guy after Don Pianta. You'd think he'd be this tough guy, but Francesca has him eating out of her hand."
"That's Francesca the Pianta. She's "well connected," get me? Her dad's a big boss. She doesn't crave money or power or anything like that though. She lives for love. Doesn't that, like, totally melt your heart? People could learn from this girl!"
"That's one of the shipwrecked Toads. He crashed just like we did."
"That's one of the shipwrecked Toads. I wonder how long he's been here?"
"This is one of the shipwrecked Toads. He looks waaaaay worn out."
"That's a Toad salesman. He must've wound up here the same way we did. He looks like he has a good handle on business...stuff. And he'd probably phrase it better than "business stuff.""
"These are the Traveling Sisters Three. They seem to go everywhere together. They also seem... inattentive. Do they even notice each new place they wind up in?"
"These are the Traveling Sisters Three. They always seem so full of life! They also seem to flit off to each new destination without any sort of plan. I guess that's one way to travel..."
"These are the Traveling Sisters Three. They seem to go everywhere together. Sounds nice. Y'know, traveling. I wish I had time to travel with friends from school..."
"That's the timid Toad sailor. He came looking for his brother, who was lost at sea, and now he is too..."
"That's Pa-Patch the Bob-omb. He's a salty old sailor and a totally solid deckhand. I heard he built all these shanties by himself too! Still...he's afraid of ghosts."
"That's one of the shipwrecked Toads. He crashed just like we did. I think he's gotten used to life here on Keelhaul Key. What a resilient guy!"
"That's one of the shipwrecked Toads. He crashed just like we did. He seems to be living a fine, productive life here though. He must be super adaptive..."
"That's the entrepreneur, Flavio. He calls himself the leader of this group. He's a funny enough guy... but he mostly loafs around and makes folks do his work. Not much of a leader, huh? But WHAT a dresser!"
"This guy's called Four-Eyes. He's one of the sailors who came along to Keelhaul Key. It's the weirdest thing... I feel like I've seen him somewhere before though... Maybe I'm just losing it."
"That's a Toad girl. She runs an inn of sorts in this tent. It may look totally budget, but this is a real business!"
"That's a Toad sailor. He was with us on the ship, you remember? He seems like a hard worker. Doesn't he look reliable?"
"That's one of the shipwrecked Toads. He crashed just like we did. He seems to have taken well to the island life though. What an optimistic guy!"
"That's a Bob-omb sailor. He's one of the guys who came here with us. You think Bob-omb sailors have any trouble with their fuses getting wet?"
"That's Thriff T. the Toad. He came to Keelhaul Key to open his own store... But I don't think this is quite what he had in mind, know what I mean? Then again, maybe this is even better in some ways..."
"That's Francesca's guy, Frankie. He's decided to stay here and live with Francesca. But I know he's really worried about Don Pianta..."
"That's Francesca the Pianta. She and Frankie liked it here and decided to stay. But we've got to get them back as quickly as we can!"
"That's Admiral Bobbery. He came with us on the ship, don't you remember? He washed ashore with the rest of us... but he seems hurt. You think he's doing OK?"
"That's Goom Goom, who asked us for help, remember? Looks like he's enjoying life here on Keelhaul Key, but he's a bit lonely."
"That's Frankie, Francesca's guy. He shipwrecked here even before we did. Looks like Francesca's got him totally wrapped around her little finger, as always."
"That's Francesca the Pianta. She shipwrecked here even before we did. She doesn't seem too worried. I guess she doesn't care as long as she has Frankie."

Excess Express[edit]

"That's the engineer of the Excess Express. Talk about a dream job for kids! But just saying you drive a train doesn't make you cool. You gotta LOVE the job! I mean, we're talking about a train, here. That's some serious responsibility!"
"That's a passenger on the Excess Express. Boy, I just LOVE train travel! The scenery whipping by right in front of you... It's so much better than planes and boats, y'know?"
"That's a passenger on the Excess Express. I wonder how much tickets for this train really cost?"
"That's a passenger on the Excess Express. I wonder what all these folks are gonna do when they get where they're going? Hey, you know what else is cool about train travel? You can just sit and space out!"
"I KNEW I knew him! That's Zip Toad, the movie star! Women go WILD for him! Y'know, he's hot and all, but he seems pretty stuck-up about being famous. I guess all celebrities are kinda like that. It's too bad, 'cause I kinda liked him..."
"That's Toodles the Toad. Gosh, that woman is so fashionable it makes me sick! She's obviously the kind of lady that belongs on this train. Classy all the way!"
"That's Heff T., the gourmet Toad. There isn't an entree out there he can't lick...literally! He's here for the train ride AND the excellent food. He's got travel all figured out... I'm taking notes."
"That's Ghost T. He's pretty lighthearted for a ghost... But still... A ghost is a ghost!"
"That's the server of the Excess Express. Some people find her a bit spacey... Think she's an OK waitress? Either way, she's proven to be pretty popular among the passengers. Any ideas why, Mario?"
"This is Chef Shimi, the cook aboard the Excess Express. He has to cook for everyone here, so he's always busy. I can't figure this guy out. I have no idea if he's joking most of the time."
"He's a Ratooey businessman. He's on the Excess Express for business, obviously. I bet he's putting everything on an expense account, huh? Is that a fringe benefit?"
"That's a passenger on the Excess Express. Not to change the subject, but watching your health abroad is super important. You wouldn't want to get sick and spoil the whole trip, would you?"
"That's a passenger on the Excess Express. The food on this train is so good, I bet people totally stuff themselves while traveling. Then they probably fall into that post-meal kind of sleep...and miss most of the trip! That'd be weak!"
"That's Pennington, a train passenger. He SAYS he's a detective, but I don't know... I mean, why do detective types ALWAYS show up when something goes wrong, huh?"
"That's the Sales Stall owner. You can buy and sell things here, obviously. Yeah, just about the only thing cooler than traveling is traveling AND shopping!"
"That's Bub the Bob-omb. He's from a very rich family, so he's kind of spoiled. Still, kids are kids, no matter how big their trust fund is... Aren't they?"
"That's a passenger on the Excess Express. Everyone has a different reason for traveling, in case you didn't know. Business... Pleasure... Honeymoons... Boy, I guess our reason for traveling is one of the weirder ones, huh?"
"That's a passenger on the Excess Express. I guess you have to have money to be here, right? Hard to tell just by looking."
"That's a passenger on the Excess Express. Riding trains is awesome, no matter how old you are! Who WOULDN'T like it, huh?"
"That's a passenger on the Excess Express. Y'know, sometimes when I'm on a train, I just stare out the window and spaaaaaace."
"That's Goldbob the Bob-omb. He's the head of a wealthy business, Goldbobbington's. He's got buckets of ducats, they say. I guess some folks are just good with money!"
"That's Sylvia the Bob-omb. She's super wealthy. She's got a real high-society air around her... Even her perfume smells like money."
"That's the conductor of the Excess Express. He takes care of passengers' needs. Keeping this train running smoothly is not just the engineer's job, y'know."
"That's the waitress of the Excess Express. I bet she's a little shocked by all this!"
"That's the conductor of the Excess Express. I bet he didn't expect all this today!"
"That's Pennington, a train passenger. He SAYS he's a detective, but I don't know... Not to be, y'know, totally catty, but what kind of detective LOSES a suspect?"

Riverside Station[edit]

"That's a Riverside worker. He stands here all day to ensure the train's safety. Wow, I would hate having to work in a place like this. There's nothing around here!"
"That's a Riverside Station worker. This is where they refuel the Excess Express. I wonder what it uses for fuel, anyway? Probably golden oil or something."

Poshley Heights[edit]

"That's Bub the Bob-omb. He's from a very rich family, so he's kind of spoiled. Still, kids are kids, no matter how big their trust fund is... Aren't they?"
"That's the Ratooey businessman who was on the Excess Express. He's still trying to put everything on his expense account. SKETCHY!"
"That's Goldbob the Bob-omb. He's the head of a wealthy business, Goldbobbington's. He's got buckets of ducats, they say. I guess some folks are just good with money!"
"That's Sylvia the Bob-omb. She's super wealthy. She's got a real high-society air around her... Even her perfume smells like money."
"That's Toodles the Toad. Gosh, that woman is so fashionable, it makes me sick! She's obviously the kind of lady that belongs around here. Classy all the way!"
"That's a Poshley Heights Station worker. He mostly just checks Train Tickets. I'm SO jealous of people that work in totally nice places. They even see movie stars..."
"That's Bub the Bob-omb. He's from a very rich family, so he's kind of spoiled. He put in a request to help him make up with a certain someone."
"That's Bootler. He's Bow's butler... but what does a butler do, exactly? It looks like he only listens to Bow, so I guess he wouldn't answer me if I asked..."
"That's a resident of Poshley Heights. He's totally fixated on this spot, for some reason. I was thinking maybe he hops into the fountain on really hot days... But wasn't there a nasty old snapping Nibbles in that fountain?"
"That's a resident of Poshley Heights. He really, REALLY likes the sanctum. Really. I kinda see where he's coming from... It IS a nice building. Talk about an eyeful, y'know?"
"That's a resident of Poshley Heights. He says he walks barefoot for his health. I wonder if I should try that..."
"That's Pennington. I guess sleuthing is just his hobby. He's the sanctum keeper. I knew that detective bit was fishy... but I guess a little sleuthing on the side is OK..."
"That's Bow. Wait a second! Mario! Exactly WHAT is your relationship with her?! Tell me NOW! Hee hee hee hee hee hee! Just kidding! I always wanted to say that. But you DID go on an adventure with her, right? Tell me sometime, OK?"
"That's Toadia of Poshley Heights. She spends a lot of time thinking by this fountain. She's actually leading a double life as the secretary of the Luigi Fan Club."
"That's Pennington. I guess sleuthing is just his hobby. He's the sanctum keeper. I knew that detective bit was fishy... but I guess a little sleuthing on the side is OK..."
"These are the Traveling Sisters Three. They seem to go everywhere together. They also seem... inattentive. Do they even notice each new place they wind up in?"
"These are the Traveling Sisters Three. They always seem so full of life! They also seem to flit off to each new destination without any sort of plan. I guess that's one way to travel..."
"These are the Traveling Sisters Three. They seem to go everywhere together. Sounds nice. Y'know, traveling. I wish I had time to travel with friends from school..."
"I've had more than enough of this guy... How does he do it? I'm almost impressed now! He moves at light speed, and he always knows where we'll be! Talk about freaky!"
"That's a resident of Poshley Heights. He's related to Herringway, the novelist. Herringway's detective books have sold so well that he's bought a second house here."
"That's a resident of Poshley Heights. He's related to Herringway, the novelist. Moving from frigid Shiver City to toasty Poshley Heights seems to have irked him."
"That's a resident of Poshley Heights. He's related to Herringway, the novelist. Now that he's used to life here, he seems to be making the most of it, huh?"
"That's the hotel receptionist. If you feel down and out, you oughta rest here. This is the nicest hotel in a super-fancy town... I bet they have totally great service!"
"That's a Toad shopkeeper. They're selling "Fresh Pasta" as a souvenir! True to its name, Poshley Heights is serving up high-caliber noodles... with a fittingly rich flavor, no doubt."

Fahr Outpost[edit]

"These are the Traveling Sisters Three. They seem to go everywhere together. They also seem... inattentive. Do they even notice each new place they wind up in?"
"These are the Traveling Sisters Three. They always seem so full of life! They also seem to flit off to each new destination without any sort of plan. I guess that's one way to travel..."
"These are the Traveling Sisters Three. They seem to go everywhere together. Sounds nice. Y'know, traveling. I wish I had time to travel with friends from school..."
"That's Fred. He's not very freaky for a Fred though. What? Not all Freds are freaky? News to me."
"That's Nob, of Fahr Outpost. He's a frank and refreshing little guy, huh? Y'know, it just struck me that only Bob-ombs live here, huh? I THINK that's Nob..."
"That's Rob, of Fahr Outpost. He can judge personality by a person's facial hair. I've never heard of that sort of talent, personally... He may be lying his little fuse off..."
"That's a Fahr Outpost Bob-omb. No clothes, but do they mind the snow? NO! I grew up in a warm place, so this is like an icebox for me! AAAAACHOO!"
"That's General White, the Bob-omb. I guess white Bob-ombs are pretty rare. He has a cool mustache too. He might even give your lip fuzz a run for its money!"</