List of unnamed NPCs in Super Paper Mario

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Throughout Super Paper Mario, there exist several NPCs that are not named in any way. The following is a list of them.

Chapter 2-3: Breaking the Bank[edit]

Character Quotes

The Ackpow in the normal generator room in Chapter 2-3 of Super Paper Mario
The Ackpow in the normal generator room.

Tattle: "That's an Ackpow... Basically a nasty warden employed by Mimi... They like to act important, but they're paying off debts just like everyone else..."
  • (Upon first entering the room) "JUMP, LITTLE FLEAS! Work those skinny little flea legs! Unh! Make it burn! Jump like you mean it! Boss Mimi hates the dark like she hates brussels sprouts! So WORK IT! MOOOORE POWER!"
  • "Yeah, this is the generator room. Hit blocks, make energy, earn Rubees! Unh! Rubees make the world go up, down, 'round and 'round! You wanna work here too?"
  • (Upon selecting "Sure thing!") "Unh! LOVE the energy, kid! Just find an unused block and jump like you mean it! Another day, another Rubee! Unh! Rubees are life! Unh! Jump! Rubee! Jump! Rubee! When you're done jumping, come talk to me. I'll tell you how many Rubees you earned. Oh! And watch out for our "motivational sparks" that travel along the floor!"
  • (Upon selecting "No way!") "BOOOOOOOOOOOO! You wanna live a slacker life, be my guest! Slacker. But you'll never get out of here unless you start working! Unh!"
  • "You call that a day's work?! Wow. Worst peon of all time. Pro tip: get a work ethic. But a promise is a promise. For your sad amount of work, a sad amount of Rubees!"
  • "Want your Rubees, do you, little flea? Well, fine. For your utterly average work, here's an average sum of Rubees."
  • "Unh! Now THAT'S what I call a day's work! Feel it! You must love those Rubees... Do you dream about them? Do you snuggle with them? Hey, it's none of my business! For a great day of work, a great pile of Rubees!"

The Ackpow in the VIP generator room in Chapter 2-3 of Super Paper Mario
The Ackpow in the VIP generator room.

Tattle: "That's an Ackpow... Basically a nasty warden employed by Mimi... They like to act important, but they're paying off debts just like everyone else..."
  • (Upon first entering the room) "RUN, GERBILS! 'Round and 'round and 'round she goes! When I'll retire, nobody knows! Big Boss Mimi hates the dark more than old ham! So move those gerbil legs! POOOOOOWERRRR UUUUUUUP!"
  • "This is the VIP generator room. Run in a wheel, make volts, earn some cash! Yeah, major upgrade from that other room! You'll earn crazy Rubees in here! Unh! So, a new gerbil, huh... Hungry for Rubees, gerbil? You wanna work here?"
  • (The same question asked again) "Hey, little Rubee gerbil! Ready to use those twig legs to make some electricity?"
  • (Upon selecting "I'm ready!" to the first question) "Great, great, just hang on for one second for me... MOOOOOVE, GERBILS! MOVE! Y'know, sometimes I wonder why I do this...but it's simple: work is fun! You ready?"
  • (Upon selecting "Yes" to the second question) "Good answer! Now get in there, gerbil! MOVE!"
  • (Upon selecting "No" to the second question) "Y'know, this latest crop of volt gerbils is pretty weak. I'd outwork them on one leg!"
  • (Upon selecting "No way!" to the first question) "Fine. Go sit in the dark and cry like the baby gerbil you are. What do I care, right? Wanna work hard? Great. Wanna cry about it? Fine. I don't care. Gerbil."
  • "Quitting already, gerbil?"
  • (Upon selecting "Yes") "You like being poor, gerbil? You like having NO Rubees? Get out of my sight!"
  • (Upon selecting "No") "Hop in there, gerbil!"
  • "Awwww, what's the matter? Tuckered out, little gerbil?"
  • "You call that working, gerbil? Me, I call that a miserable excuse for labor. I guess you still have some pay coming, though. C'mere. Nibble a few Rubees, gerbil."
  • "Hmmm... I wouldn't call you the star of all gerbil-kind, but that wasn't too shabby. C'mere. It's not exactly a gerbil banquet of Rubees, but it's nothing to sneeze at."
  • "Whooo! You're just a little scamperer, aren't you? That's what I call a can-do gerbil! You ought to try out for the annual Gerbilympics, y'know? You could win medals! We reward scampering like that around here! C'mere for your payoff, Super Gerbil!"
  • "Here!" (before giving Rubees)

The Ackpow in the room with the ? Block giving Mushrooms in Chapter 2-3 of Super Paper Mario
The Ackpow in the room with the ? Block giving Mushrooms.

Tattle: "That's an Ackpow... Basically a nasty warden employed by Mimi... They like to act important, but they're paying off debts just like everyone else..."
  • "Unh! Looking for some pep?! Then grab a Mushroom and get your energy back up! Just bash that block there to produce a suspicious... er, delicious...Mushroom. Each one costs 10 Rubees, mind you! But that's how I make my living, so eat up!"
  • "After a hard day, chomp on a Mushroom and put some pep in your step! Unh! Each one costs a mere 10 Rubees! Chomp it up!"
  • "You want a Mushroom? Then all you gotta do is tap that block! Unh! Each one is 10 Rubees, though! Remember that! I need to pay off my debt, so chomp it up!"
  • "If you're full of pep, you ought to hit that generator room and get back to work!"
  • "Hey! Genius! Here's a tip: NOTHING COMES OUT IF YOU CAN'T PAY FOR IT!"
  • (After paying off the debt but before clearing the chapter) "Wow, so I guess we don't have to worry about Boss Mimi anymore, huh? And I don't have any more Mushrooms to sell...unh. So...get lost."

Chapter 3-4: The Battle of Fort Francis[edit]

Character Quotes

A Meowmaid in Fort Francis in Super Paper Mario
The Meowmaid in the first room of Fort Francis.

Tattle: "That is a Meowmaid. Francis made these robots to do everything for him... He is quite fond of robotic cats..."
  • "Welcome home, Master."
  • "Is Master unwell? Master has not even been playing games or watching anime lately."
  • "Is Master unwell? Poor Master did not even notice that we shampooed his Punie plushies."
  • "Is Master unwell? Poor Master has not noticed we pre-cheesed Master's Nibble-Ums."
  • "Is Master unwell? Poor Master has not even boxed with his inflatable Rawk Hawk today."
  • "Why has Master not been reenacting superhero wars with his action figures lately?"
  • "Master has returned home. Meowmaid rejoices!"

A Meowmaid in Fort Francis in Super Paper Mario
The first Meowmaid in the second room of Fort Francis.

Tattle: "This Meowmaid is in charge of keeping track of all game and comic release dates. The earlier model once forgot to report the release of Francis's favorite game..."
  • "Welcome home, Master. Today is the street date for 'Prance of the Unicorns,' volume 15. Do not forget."
  • "Is Master feeling unwell?"

A Meowmaid in Fort Francis in Super Paper Mario
The second Meowmaid in the second room of Fort Francis.

Tattle: "This Meowmaid records all of Francis's favorite shows with the digital Recordomeow... Francis makes it talk in a squeaky voice... A feature that makes him giddy..."
  • "Welcome home, Master. A baseball game in extra innings has delayed the start of 'Starship X-Naut.' I adjusted the Recordomeow start time by thirty minutes to compensate."
  • "I have taken the liberty of setting the Recordomeow to record all of Master's shows. Now Master will never cry because he missed an episode of 'The Grodus Chronicles.'"
  • "I have taken the liberty of setting the Recordomeow to record all of Master's shows. Master will never again miss another season finale of 'The Blubbening.'"
  • "I have taken the liberty of setting the Recordomeow to record all of Master's shows. I have double-checked that 'The Babes of Starship X-Naut' will be recorded as ordered."
  • "I have taken the liberty of setting the Recordomeow to record all of Master's shows. After tonight, Master will be able to watch the entire season one of 'Cowpocalypse.'"
  • "I have taken the liberty of setting the Recordomeow to record all of Master's shows. Master will never again lose another season finale of 'The Blubbening.'"
  • "I have taken the liberty of setting the Recordomeow to record all of Master's shows. A never-before-seen episode of 'The Blubbening' airs tonight."

A Meowmaid in Fort Francis in Super Paper Mario
The third Meowmaid in the second room of Fort Francis.

Tattle: "This Meowmaid stores and catalogues all of Francis's anime shows... It spends its afternoons updating the video database and making new videos... At night, it spends hours moving Francis's old videos to digital form..."
  • "Welcome home, Master. I have finished removing commercial breaks from your recorded programs."
  • "I have taken special care to prepare all of Master's unseen episodes for viewing. Now Master no longer has to interrupt action-figure time to watch his shows."
  • "Master has returned! Master has returned! REEEEEEEOOOOOWWWW! Meowmaid rejoices!"

A Meowmaid in Fort Francis in Super Paper Mario
The fourth Meowmaid in the second room of Fort Francis.

Tattle: "This Meowmaid orders and organizes all of Francis's video games... It organizes every game in order of how much Francis complained about them..."
  • "Welcome home, Master. The new space-combat sim, 'Starship X-Naut: Space Bloops' has arrived by mail."
  • "The games Master ordered online are arriving in great numbers. Master...please return soon. Game boxes are overtaking the castle."
  • "Master has not been playing with his game collection. Master has finally grown out of the need for his faithful Meowmaids, perhaps..."

A Meowmaid in Fort Francis in Super Paper Mario
The Meowmaid in the third room of Fort Francis.

Tattle: "This Meowmaid manages Francis's towering collection of books and comics... It puts a plastic cover on every comic without ever touching the comic itself... It's usually really snarky, but it becomes sweet as a kitten around Francis..."
  • "I have catalogued all of Master's comics and filed them away. Do not think I did it out of the kindness of my robo heart. They were beginning to clog vital fire-escape routes from the castle."
  • "Master hurt himself playing his newest 'Starship X-Naut' video game. Embarrassing. I sent some comics for him to read while he is in the hospital. I did not do it to be nice. There was simply no more space for them here. I sent them because I was tired of tripping over issues of 'Mecha-Ninja Nurse Squad.'"
  • "Master hurt himself playing his newest 'Starship X-Naut' game. How embarrassing. I sent some comics for him to read while he is in the hospital. I did not do it to be nice. There was simply no more space for them here. I sent them because I was tired of tripping over issues of 'Mecha-Ninja Nurse Squad.'"
  • "Can you believe it? Master finally gets back, and he shuts himself in his room! How insensitive... We waited so long for him to come home... Jerk..."

Chapter 5-4: The Menace of King Croacus[edit]

Character Quotes

The red Floro Sapien attending to King Croacus after the latter is defeated
A red Floro Sapien attending to King Croacus in his room after Chapter 5 but before the game is cleared.

Tattle: "That's one of King Croacus's attendants... They think the king will someday revive..."
  • "King Croacus isn't dead... Nah, he'll totally get revived someday! We've got a duty to keep watch over the dude until that time, you dig me?"
  • "Oh... We're getting some signs that King Croacus might revive soon... Just a little more patience, King Croacus... Be cool, man."
  • "Heh heh heh heh heh... King Croacus is gonna get revived soon! And when he does, it's payback time for those crime-committing Cragnons.. I bet those dudes forgot how powerful we can be... Big surprise coming for them!"

Chapter 7-1: Subterranean Vacation[edit]

Character Quotes

The first Shayde in the beginning of Chapter 7-1 in Super Paper Mario
A black Shayde in the first scene of The Underwhere.

Tattle: "That's a kindly Shayde... He waits here for people so he can give guidance... Shaydes are people whose games ended for various reasons and arrived here... Those who did good deeds in life can go to The Overthere... But those who did evil..."
  • "If you head straight ahead, you'll find Queen Jaydes in her palace. But do NOT get her angry, or you'll end up on bottomless-pit cleanup duty...forever!"
  • "Well, hi! Just arrive here in The Underwhere, did you? ...What? You've been here before? Ahahahahahahahah! Good one. Lie to the queen though, and you'll regret you ever started your game."
  • "So the reason I'm hanging here by the entrance is, I'm waiting for my girlfriend. I want her to have a long, fulfilling game, of course... but...I want her next to me... Pretty conflicting situation, if you can catch my drift... Aw, I doubt you understand..."

The second Shayde in the beginning of Chapter 7-1 in Super Paper Mario
A white Shayde in the first scene of The Underwhere.

Tattle: "That's a jolly Shayde... So positive... Always with a smile on his face... The more someone's endured, the more patient they get... He is experiencing that now..."
  • "Hey, how's your aftergame? Listen, if you feel tired, take a dip in that fountain. That'll power you right up. 'Course, if you're already feeling fine, there's probably no point in going for a swim."
  • "Hey, how's your aftergame? I got sick with multicolored viruses when I was alive, but now I feel GREAT! Maybe that doctor actually cured me before my game...uh, ended."
  • "You enjoying your aftergame? I'm LOVING it! A bunch of my friends from the hospital I was in just arrived! Now we all hang out together every day! I've gotta say, we all owe that one doctor!"

Two Shaydes in the beginning of Chapter 7-1 in Super Paper Mario
Two Shaydes in the first scene of The Underwhere. The left one is black and the right one is white.

Tattle, left Shayde: "An absentminded Shayde... He loves entertaining, and feels bad if he flubs a punch line..."

Tattle, right Shayde: "That's a diligent Shayde... He's very focused, and stops at nothing once he's latched on to a goal... But he misses his life from before his game ended... He laments every day he's here..."

  • (Left:) "Boy, if that Micro Goomba hadn't dashed out just as I jumped for that platform..." (Right:) "Oh, you swerved in midair, landed on a spiked floor, and ended your game, huh?" (Left:) "What? No! What kind of a jumper do you think I am? I cleared the spikes, easy! Then BAM! Bottomless pit."
  • (Left:) "So I fell out of this pipe... Luckily, I landed in the sea, so I was totally OK." (Right:) "Right, so lemme guess... You're gonna tell me you sank like a stone, right?" (Left:) "What are you talking about? I'm an incredible swimmer! I swim like a Cheep Cheep! That was what did me in! I looked just like a fish and BAM! Boss Bass snack!"
  • (Right:) "So I'm running along, and these two Hammer Bros. start hucking hammers at me!" (Left:) "So you dodged the hammers, but then one jumped down onto your head, right?" (Right:) "No way! I jumped over the lower one and hit the block under the guy up top! Then BAM! Bullet Bill in the face."

The last Shayde in the beginning of Chapter 7-1 in Super Paper Mario
A black Shayde in the first scene of The Underwhere.

Tattle: "That's a Shayde who feels it's his duty to warn people... Even though he's a Shayde, he's still scared of ghosts and stays rooted here..."
  • "Oh, boy, I can tell you're new here. Let me do you a favor and tell you what's up... The River Twygz is up ahead, OK? Be REALLY careful not to drown. Word is, there are ghosts down there that drag you down, never to surface again!" "Huh? What happens to Shaydes that fall in? Well, their aftergame ends! I figure they end up in the post-aftergame or something."
  • "Hey, new Shayde, right? Well, let me tell you what's up. Someone's aftergame ended in the River Twygz up ahead. Sad story..." "What happened to him? Well, the ghosts are probably tickle-torturing him now. Well, I assume so anyway. I'm not going down there to check, that's for sure!"
  • "Oh, boy, I can tell you're new here. Let me do you a favor and tell you what's up... If you end up on Underwhere Road, you need to be really careful. Word is, there are three hags who ask travelers to do unspeakable things..." "Huh? What are they gonna ask you to do? Oh boy, if you really want to know, you'd better ask them yourself!"

The Shayde hidden in 3D in front of Queen Jaydes' shrine in Super Paper Mario
A black Shayde near the stairs of the shrine where Queen Jaydes is. Visible in 3D.

Tattle: "That's a timid Shayde... For the guilty, meeting with Jaydes is the same as facing their guilt... They must gain the courage to see her to move forward... That's the law in this world..."
  • "Are you here to have Queen Jaydes take a look at the evil deeds you did in life? Trust me on this: if she finds a lot, you're gonna suffer big-time. Of course, if you DON'T meet with her, you can't go any farther... Meet her...or get no farther... Sounds like a game over or game-over situation!"
  • "So I just had my sins weighed, and it looks like I might get off pretty easy... Trust me on this: if you've done bad stuff, you're better off just admitting it."

The Shayde in Queen Jaydes' shrine in Super Paper Mario
A white Shayde in the shrine where Queen Jaydes is.

Tattle: "That's a Shayde who really wants to make it up to The Overthere... In life, his psychic abilities helped him in his hobby as a fortune-teller... He tried to foresee if he'd make it to The Overthere, but the results were 50/50... He still hasn't gotten up the nerve to confront his own guilt..."
  • (As Mario or Peach) "Hey, so, if you lived a good life, you can move to The Overthere. I hear it's nice! And I've gotta say, I get a virtuous vibe off of you! I'm sure you'll make it there. You ought to go speak to Queen Jaydes right away!"
  • (As Bowser) "Hey, so, if you lived a good life, you can move to The Overthere. I hear it's great! And you, uh... Hurm... Ahem! I wouldn't guess you've ever done anything nice or good... Oh, well! You should go talk to Queen Jaydes right away anyway! Good luck with that!"1
  • (As Luigi) "Hey, so, if you lived a good life, you can move to The Overthere. I hear it's super! I've gotta say, too, I get a real virtuous vibe from you! That green outfit of yours is like a traffic light saying 'Go straight to The Overthere!' You should go speak to Queen Jaydes right away!"
  • "Boy, there are fewer people showing up here every day... What gives, huh? I mean, I heard rumors about the world disappearing, but... Wait... That was all TRUE? If The Underwhere and The Overthere both disappear, where'll all the Shaydes go?"
  • "Hey, so, if you lived a good life, you can move to The Overthere. I hear it's sweet! And you'll definitely go, because you're a total hero!"

A D-Man in Queen Jaydes' shrine in Super Paper Mario
The first D-Man in the shrine where Queen Jaydes is.

Tattle: "That's a D-Man... These underlings of Jaydes oversee Underwhere operations... They're proud of working so closely with Jaydes... They LOVE being near power..."
  • "Hi, how are ya, good, great. I'm a D-Man, prime go-getter and faithful queen's servant. You wanna see the queen, you gotta MOVE, kid, OK? She's real busy. Oh, and here's a tip: she knows all the bad stuff you did before your game ended. So don't play that whole I'm-a-hero stuff down here. Just warning ya, kid!"
  • "Hi, how are ya, good, great. I'm a D-Man, prime go-getter and faithful queen's servant. A lotta strife in The Underwhere these days, so we've been wicked busy. You wanna talk to Queen Jaydes? OK, but make it quick. She's real busy!"
  • "Hey, how're things, great. Say, Queen Jaydes sure seems down lately... You don't look too busy, slacker. Why not go talk to her? Do something useful."
  • "Hey, what's up, nothing, good. What's that? Queen Jaydes? She's out right now, kid. Yeah, got a call from Grambi, high-level stuff for sure... She made for The Overthere. Think something bad went down? Well, maybe you oughta go check, slacker!"

A D-Man in Queen Jaydes' shrine in Super Paper Mario
The second D-Man in the shrine where Queen Jaydes is.

Tattle: "That's a D-Man who supports Jaydes... Jaydes's aides all wear the 'doom-striped' suits that are their trademark... Today, as always, they work to enforce the judgments on the Shaydes..."
  • "Ahh, so BUSY! Blehhh! BLEH! It's like work is in my MOUTH! I'm CHOKING on it! I swear... I'm so busy, I don't have time to think, much less eat or sleep! BLEHHHH!"
  • "Ahh, so BORED. Blehh! BLEH! It's like I ate a MEAL of boredom! It tastes TERRIBLE! Bonechill's gone and now there are almost no Shaydes to supervise either... I mean, you wanna know how bored I am? I've started jogging. JOGGING. BLEH!"
  • "Ahh, so BUSY! Blehhh! BLEH! It's like I bit into a giant pie made of BUSY! Queen Jaydes dumped a ton of work on us and took off! Now we're SWAMPED! Queen Jaydes! Come back soon, PLEASE!"

A D-Man in Queen Jaydes' shrine in Super Paper Mario
The third D-Man in the shrine where Queen Jaydes is.

Tattle: "Management, Planning, Promotions, Administration, Human Resources... All D-Men. They also all act as guards and supervisors... Talk about multitaskers..."
  • "Shoot! I'm on dredge patrol for the River Twygz tomorrow. That riverbed is huge, too... What a pain...but it's gotta get done. Shaydes get stuck in the hole down there..."
  • "A buddy of mine out there in the trenches told me this... Apparently a fire-breathing monster appeared somewhere above level one. River Twygz patrol stinks, but it's better than running into one of THOSE things!"
  • "YESSSS! I get to patrol the River Twygz tomorrow! Talk about a SWEET assignment! Check out what I realized: it's such a huge area, no one can tell when I'm slacking off! Here's a secret, but tell NO ONE: I take naps in those little abandoned pipe rooms!"
  • "What am I doing? Well, I got caught slacking off, and I got punished...hard. You can't fool Queen Jaydes. Stupid honesty. Since when is that our 'best' policy?"

1 - This quote can be seen if the heroes restart Chapter 7 after re-recruiting Bowser and before Chapter 7 ends.

Chapter 7-2: The Sealed Doors Three[edit]

Character Quotes
(excluding those during the storyline)

The D-Man in the beginning of Chapter 7-2 in Super Paper Mario
A D-Man in the first scene of the Underwhere Road.

Tattle: "That's a transit D-Man... Transit D-Men act as guides on dark Underwhere Road... All here smile, as they are bound for The Overthere... Transit D-Men see them off. They like to read books while they wait for people to come through..."
  • "Yeah, great, listen, through this door is The Underwhere's hot spot, Underwhere Road! The dark is so dark in there, you can almost taste it! And it tastes like danger. So, tourists, huh? Listen, you guys aren't packing any fire or anything, are you? Sorry, gotta ask. We keep it dark in there on purpose, so we don't wanna spoil it!"
  • "Return the book? Oh, you mean the one I borrowed from that hag? Yeah, no prob, no prob. Just finished reading that bad boy, actually."
  • "Gotta say, that weight-loss plan seems kinda dubious. Yeah, probably a fad. But hey, thank that hag for me anyway, OK?"
  • "Fewer tourists these days... Guess getting terrorized on Underwhere Road isn't hip..."
  • "Lots more tourists lately... Maybe Underwhere Road is getting positive buzz!"

The left D-Man before the door to Bowser in Chapter 7-2 in Super Paper Mario
The left D-Man guarding the door to the room where Bowser is fought. Remains after Bowser rejoins the heroes' party.

Tattle: "That's a D-Man guard... He protects the door to The Overthere from monsters. He often uses brute force... The doorway is the most important of all, and Jaydes has trusted him with it..."
  • "You're really going in there? If it were me, I've gotta say, I'd bail out, big-time."
  • "Boy, The Underwhere's been HOPPING since the monsters escaped... Now we're so busy! I haven't had time to catch my favorite shows. Man... I wanna watch Undervision..."
  • (During Hagitha's quest) "Huh? A message for me? Oh, from that hag who wants me to check on her show? What show was it again?"
  • (Upon selecting "Hagtime Mystery Hour") "Hagtime Mystery Hour? OK, thanks for the reminder. Tell that hag I've got it covered. I'll check in on it, no prob. Later!"
  • (Upon selecting "River Twygz Trim Swim" or "Oh, You Crone!") "Huh? Was that really it? That hag... MAN has she got some weird taste. Well, I'll check in on it. Later."
  • "Gotcha, I'll check on it. Later."
  • "Jaydes says if you have regrets when your game ends, you won't start a new game. Dieting is all well and good, but I guess it's best to live life eating what you want! Anyway... About time for me to head home and catch some quality Undervision."
  • "Jaydes says if you have regrets when your game ends, you won't start a new game. Dieting is all well and good, but I guess it's best to live life eating what you want! Me? Well, I caught up on all the shows I'd recorded, so I'm all good!"

The middle D-Man before the door to Bowser in Chapter 7-2 in Super Paper Mario
The middle D-Man guarding the door to the room where Bowser is fought. Absent after Bowser rejoins the heroes' party.

Tattle: "That's a D-Man guard... He helps suppress the monsters of The Underwhere... The toughest job there is... His only peace of mind is... if a monster ends his game, Jaydes can revive him..."
  • "What's your deal, buddy? No admittance!"
  • "Tell you what... You head on in...and I'll mail your mustache to your next of kin!"

The right D-Man before the door to Bowser in Chapter 7-2 in Super Paper Mario
The right D-Man guarding the door to the room where Bowser is fought. Absent after Bowser rejoins the heroes' party.

Tattle: "That's a D-Man guard... He helps suppress the monsters of The Underwhere... The toughest job there is... His only peace of mind is... if a monster ends his game, Jaydes can revive him..."
  • "Nobody enters The Overthere right now. Ask the guy on the far left for details."
  • "Look, my prediction? Your game's about to end. If not, we'll help you on your way. Give it a shot, champ!"