Prisma Times

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This article's name is conjectural for a part of its content. If an official name is found for the currently unnamed portion of content, it may need to be split into a new article.

A Toad reading the Prisma Times

The Prisma Times is a newspaper that appears in Paper Mario: Sticker Star and Paper Mario: Color Splash.

In Paper Mario: Sticker Star, Mario can read newspaper headlines inside Decalburg. These surround Luigi and his whereabouts, updating after Mario finds them.

In Port Prisma in Paper Mario: Color Splash, a Toad sitting near the Prisma Café reads the Prisma Times, in its first officially named appearance. He will read Mario a headline from it if he pays 10 coins, which serves as a hint for what Mario must do next.

After being defeated by Mario in the Sacred Forest, Kamek recalls that his magic was described as "a veritable all-you-can-eat buffet of chaos" by the Prisma Times.

Headlines[edit]

Paper Mario: Sticker Star[edit]

  • "MYSTERIOUS GREEN GUY AT GOOMBA FORTRESS?! A strange, purportedly green person was observed on the ramparts of the Goomba Fortress, long known to be a hideout for Goombas. One area Goomba witness stated, “Is this thing on? Anyway, this guy looked all green and stuff, and he wasn't... Well, he looked totally weak.” A Goomba--let's face it, the weakest of the weak--calling this green guy weak. Could such a thing even be possible? Could the green guy really exist?"
  • "GREEN GUY CONFIRMED AT GOOMBA FORTRESS! A mysterious green person was confirmed to be high on the ramparts of the Goomba Fortress, long known to be a hideout for local Goombas. One area Goomba witness stated, “Is this thing on? Anyway, this guy looked all green and stuff, and he wasn't... Well, he looked totally weak.” Why the green guy, rumored to be a coward of the highest order, was at a dangerous place like the Goomba Fortress is a complete mystery."
  • "GREEN-GUY SIGHTING AT DRYBAKE STADIUM?! The mysterious green guy recently making headlines was reportedly sighted in the window of a tower that towers over Drybake Desert. There are conflicting reports, but one asserts the green guy was entranced by a blistering guitar solo being performed by a nearby Sombrero Guy. Another report suggests that he was taking an epic nap. Could any of this really be true? Does the green guy really exist?"
  • "WHO'S THAT CRAZY GREEN GUY IN THE WINDOW? The mysterious green guy recently making headlines was confirmed to be lounging in the window of a tower that towers over Drybake Desert. There were conflicting reports, but one asserted the green guy was entranced by a blistering guitar solo being performed by a nearby Sombrero Guy. Another report suggested that he was taking an epic nap. We may never know the truth of this deepening mystery."
  • "GREEN MERMAID SURFACES AT WHITECAP BEACH! As shocking as it sounds, a green mermaid was recently spotted standing quietly on the rocks, hat down low, avoiding the gaze of passersby. Mermaids are usually thought of as female, but the presence of a full mustache on this one has cast doubt on that long-held belief. Could there be a connection to the recent spate of green-guy sightings? Could mermaids AND the green guy really exist?"
  • "GREEN GUY SUNBATHING AT WHITECAP BEACH! Initially mistaken for a mermaid, the mysterious green guy was spotted once more on the rocks at Whitecap Beach. Witnesses say he was standing quietly, hat pulled low, avoiding the gaze of passersby. The presence of a lustrous mustache on his face eventually led to the mermaid theory being dismissed. Could any of this really be possible? The mystery grows deep as the sea!"
  • "GREEN GUY SPOTTED IN WHITEOUT VALLEY?! This just in! Eyewitness reports say the mysterious green guy was seen riding the recently reopened Whiteout Valley chair lift. He was reportedly heading down alone, clearly uncomfortable in the cold wind, teeth chattering, looking like he was about to cry buckets. Can it be true? Was it possibly a yeti? Does the green guy really exist?"
  • "GREEN GUY CATCHES A WHITEOUT LIFT! Eyewitness reports confirm that the mysterious green guy was riding the recently reopened Whiteout Valley lift. He rode the downhill lift alone, clearly unused to the cold, teeth chattering, looking like he was about to cry. Where in the world was this guy going? If he was that cold, why didn't he just stay at home? So mysterious!"
  • "MYSTERY GREEN GUY ROAMING RUGGED ROAD?! The mysterious green guy may have been spotted at the Bubbling Waters Natural Hot Springs, a tourist spot familiar to Rugged Road regulars. Even while reclining in the hot spring, he allegedly wore a hat down low, possibly with a large L written on it. Reports claim that as he left, his face was not green, but completely red and drenched in sweat. Could this hot madness really be true? Could the green guy actually exist?"
  • "L-MAN DISAPPEARS INTO STEAM AT SECRET SPRING! We can now confirm that a mysterious green guy was spotted at the Bubbling Waters Natural Hot Springs, a hot spot for Rugged Road regulars. Even while lounging in the hot spring, he wore a hat pulled down low...a hat with a large L written on it. As he left, his face was not green, but completely red and drenched in sweat. In this reporter's humble opinion, paper folks should be careful not to stay in hot, bubbling water for too long. What happens is no mystery."

Paper Mario: Color Splash[edit]

  • "Let's see here... Today's headline is "Port Prisma's Postal Toad Still MIA." Huh. I hope nobody tossed him in the recycling bin like a piece of common junk mail..."
  • "Let's see here... Today's headline is "Shimmering Blue Waters—Exploring Port Prisma's Indigo Underground." Bit of a mouthful, if you ask me. But the Indigo Underground... Isn't that place just outside of town?"
  • "Let's see here... Today's headline is "Suspicious Thing Found in Harbor District." They call this news? Harbors are a breeding ground for suspicion. Everyone knows that!"
  • "Let's see here... Today's headline is "Mountain Sage Madness on Daffodil Peak!" Hmm...that's that mountain beyond the Indigo Underground. The real steep and rocky one."
  • "Let's see here... Today's headline is "Hero Toad Loses Clothes, Mind at Cherry Lake." Hero, eh? We don't need another hero. Or...do we?"
  • "Let's see here... Today's headline is "Breaking: Bloo Bay Boat Broken on Beach." Someone needs to go help them! I would, but I have a sand phobia."
  • "Let's see here... Today's headline is "Oceanfest at Bloo Bay Beach!" Sounds like wholesome fun for everyone!"
  • "Let's see here... Today's headline is "Shipwrecked Toad Saved!" Hey, that's great news. I bet he's really grateful. Maybe he even feels like he owes someone a favor."
  • "Let's see here... Today's headline is "Crimson Tower Gate Closed; Weird Keys Needed." Weird keys? What the heck are weird keys?"
  • "Let's see here... Today's headline is "Fire Safety—Don't Get Burned." Well, that seems obvious. How about, "If you see a fire, put it out." There's a Fire Extinguisher on Ruddy Road, you know..."
  • "Big Paint Star Recovered—Princess in Peril! Well, that's a good news / bad news sorta thing, isn't it? At least you've got some experience rescuing princesses."
  • "Let's see here... Today's headline is "Scarlet Gate Scarlet Once Again." Glad that red gate got repainted. Now I can visit my uncle over in Sunglow Ridge."
  • "Let's see here... Today's headline is "Princess Missing—Professor Prone." Well, that Princess isn't like any kind of dog I've ever seen, but I heard she likes chewing on bones anyway..."
  • "Let's see here... Today's headline is "Track Attack: Kiwano Rails Crushed." Disgusting. Whoever crushed those rails should be behind bars! What's with that face, Mario?"
  • "Let's see here... Today's headline is "Bone Gone! Fossil Stolen during Excavation Caper." Apparently eyewitnesses saw masked bandits heading toward the Coliseum. What a story!"
  • "Let's check the classified ads... "Bone Wanted. I need it to win the Battle Royal. Will travel." Ooh! I heard about this! Apparently you have to wait for the enemy to line up, and then you drop the bone on 'em!"
  • "Mustachioed Bro Wins Big Paint Star at Coliseum! That's you! You're famous!"
  • "Let's see here... Today's headline is "Giant Coin Discovered in Mondo Woods. Finders Keepers Declared." Whoa. I think I need to take the rest of the day off and see if I can get my hands on that coin!"
  • "Let's see here... Today's headline is "Boo! Dark Bloo Inn Closed Due to Paranormal Activity!" I don't believe in ghosts. Do you think I could still make a reservation?"
  • "Let's see here... Today's headline is "White Water and Stranded Ships— a Port in Turmoil!" I don't know what any of thatmeans, but it sure sounds dramatic!"
  • "Let's see here... Today's headline is "Scientists Agree—the Floor Is Lava at Kiwano Temple!" I knew it! The floor IS lava!"
  • "Let's see here... Today's headline is "Large Turnip Turns Up in the Sacred Forest." I hear the Rescue Toads are working on harvesting it."
  • "Let's see here... Today's headline is "Mysterious Construction Project Begins on Cobalt Island!" That's one of the islands just southwest of Prism Island!"
  • "Let's see here... Today's headline is "Birdo Blabs; Balloon Secret Revealed." Huh. Apparently, if you're feeling sunk, Balloons can lift you up again."
  • "Indestructible Battleship Destroyed! Indestructibility Rating Lowered Significantly. Remind me not to get on your bad side!"
  • "Let's see here... Today's headline is "Fame, Fortune, and Treasure in the Violet Isles." The Violet Isles? Yeah, right! Those islands are just a myth."
  • "Let's see here... Today's headline is "To Sea! Hoist Your Sails and Wait for Wind!" Sounds exciting! But I guess you need some pretty powerful gusts to get anywhere in a sailboat. Like the ones that hit Bloo Bay Beach."
  • "Let's see here... Today's headline is "Get a Perfect Score in Snifit or Whiffit to Win a Fabulous Prize!" Sounds more like an ad than a headline, but I'm intrigued."
  • "Big Paint Star Found on Fortune Island! You should save this one for your scrapbook. That was some great swashbuckling you did out there!"
  • "Let's see here... Today's headline is "Celebrity Chef Closes Café—Line Gets Longer!" I heard that the chef who runs that Mustard Café is a real character. I heard he was taking a vacation right out front of his shop!"
  • "Let's see here... Today's headline is "Can Blue Rescue Squad Get Tracks Back on Track?" That Rescue Squad is a joke. Someone needs to help them out."
  • "Let's see here... Today's headline is "Engine Gets Moving, Gets Crushed." Well, that didn't last long. I hope Toad Trainworks can fix it!"
  • "Let's see here... Today's headline is "Crushed Engine Being Repaired at Toad Trainworks." Wait...they're repairing the engine while the passengers are still on board? That's got to be annoying for the people in coach!"
  • "Let's see here... Today's headline is "Train Arrives Late; Water Is Wet." Sounds about right. I heard the train was bound for Tangerino Grill."
  • "Let's see here... Today's headline is "Historic Train Waits at Station for Final Run." Aww...I loved that slow, terrible train..."
  • "Let's see here... Today's headline is "101 Ways to Use a Cork. #52 Will SHOCK You!" Yeah, I read the article. It's mostly about plugging holes so gross stuff can't get out, but #52 SHOCKED me."
  • "One Big Paint Star Still Missing! If anyone can find it, it's you, Mario!"
  • "Let's see here... Today's headline is "Fearsome Fossil Flies—Flees For Fiery Fountain." I think by "fiery fountain" they mean volcano. Silly writers always sacrifice clarity for cleverness..."
  • "Let's see here... Today's headline is "Watch Your Head! Fort Cobalt Cited for Unsafe Trap." Apparently the trap just drops a heavy object on your head. Crude, sure, but I bet it would be good for calming down a rampaging beast."
  • "Let's see here... Today's headline is "Dragon Eats Hamburger." Huh. Slow news day. Now, if he ate one of those super-spicy Magma Burgers from Fort Cobalt, that would be something!"
  • "Let's check the classified ads... "Bottle Opener needed to raise magma level. Must be willing to deliver to Redpepper Volcano.""
  • "Let's see here... "Giant Chunk of Ice in Tangerino Grill Freezer." Hmmm...even if you break it up, it just fixes itself? Maybe a hot wind on it would work."
  • "Let's see here... "Small Pipe in Small Forest." Wow, this is some small print!"
  • "Let's see here... "Green Energy Plant Discovers New Power Source." Now they're playing with power!"
  • "Let's see here... "Mysterious Tent Appears in Mossrock." Hmm... Why would someone set up a tent deep in those woods? Is there going to be some sort of event?"
  • "Let's see here... "Disco Ball Party Leads to Ice Pick Attack." So, wait for them to start dancing, and then use the Ice Pick to... break the ball? Is that a typo?"
  • "Mario, it's a special edition! Check it out! "Six Big Paint Stars Found! Legendary Rainbow Road Appears!" I'd heard rumors about a road made out of rainbows, but I didn't think it was real!"
  • "Let's see here... "Washing Machine Cleans Even the Toughest, Blackest Stains!" So even if something is pitch black with grime, a washing machine can clean it right up! Wait, this isn't news! This is an advertisement!"
  • "Let's see here... "Good Luck, Mario! Beat Bowser and Save Princess Peach!" There's an eight-page article about you in here!"
  • "Prisma Fountain Restored! Game Beaten! Not sure what "game beaten" means, but would you like to watch the Prisma Splash parade again?"