"This time, the princess will be MINE, you fools!"
"Huh? Mario and that green wimp are here? What are the odds? I'll admit, you handed me my shell before, but not this time! Oh yeah! My horoscope said so! Today's the day I win it all! Gwah ha ha ha! I RULE!"
"This place is a pit! It's hot, stinky, dangerous, and one humongous fire hazard! I LOVE IT! Talk about a perfect place for me to build a second castle!"
"In this place, beans are like precious treasure milked from a famous cow made of jewels!"
"All who come with beans leave with badges so rare they make mustaches droop with disbelief!"
"What? The story of Fawful? Your words are not beans. I am not wanting them."
"You are like brainless cats that are too dumb to know they are stupid! You have curiosity... ...But my tale is long, so long it makes babies old and hairy lips grow grey with aging. Do you dare hear?"
"I am here, merchant of badges, only sometimes with fury, but I once had fury at all times."
"I drizzled rage dressing on the country next door. Rage dressing on a salad of evil!"
"And then the bad men came. Red and Green bad men. I had the punishment. Bad punishment with hammers and jumping on my head and the overheat of my ship."
"I have a little fury even with my remembering... Red! And green! A pair of jumping hammers in red and green who are looking like you!"
"I HAVE FURY!"
"Those brothers of badness! My brain aches at their overalls! I have fury AND headache now!"
"Fawful would be here, reigning over all and laughing at you! ...But no."
"SO MUCH FURY!"
"Stupid mustaches! Hairs like the dirty tail of a horse in a barn built by a farmer who is crazy!"
"...I have calm."
"I am waiting like an elevator."
"I have the commerce. I run Fawful's Bean 'n' Badge, but..."
"The day comes soon when Fawful rises again, and then no baby's candy has safety!"
"I am counting chickens before they are even eggs, before the chickens are even chickens!"
"I WILL! HAVE! FURY!"
"I LAUGH AT DEFEAT!"
"I FIGHT WITH RAGE!"
"I HURT YOUR FACES!"
"D-Did I...Have insanity? Did I...have evil?"
"I suppress the fury, but sometimes... The fury has me."
"Red and green puts the fog of rage in my eyes, and my mind goes crazy."
"P-Please... I will be fine. No worrying for Fawful. We talk of beans.
"Beans and badges... We begin trading!"
"The beans hide in the dirts of this country like dirt-fish who like to eat dirt for dinner. Bean symbols like this are marking all bean spots."
"You are digging in dirt, right? You are digging under symbols. And you are finding much bean!"
"Bean symbols have sneakiness! When the beans are gone, the symbols flee like babies!"
"You are wanting much beans? Then you are hunting symbols. And digging and popping."
"There are even places to win beans in games, maybe..."
"AREA RESTRICTED. ALL NOOB INTRUDERS 2 B HAXORED BY US L33T HAMM3R BROZ.!"
"WE R TEH SHROOB ALLIES. WE ROXOR U AND THEN ROFL. THEN U AM CRY."
"WE RECEIVE ORDERS THRU ANTENNAS ON THESE L33T HELMETS. THEY R HOTNESS."
"WE MUST OBEY ALL ORDERS. WE LIKE 2 PWN NOOBS 4 TEH MASTER SHROOBZORS."
"U = NOOBS. BROZ. = L33T. PREPARE FOR TOTAL PWNAGE. WOOT! WOOT! WOOT! WOOT!
"NOOBZ STILL R NOT PWNED. CONTINUE PWNERSHIP UNTIL ALL NOOBZ R PWNED"
"TEH ESCAPE IS IMPOSSIBLE. WE ARE 2 L33T. WE OWNZ JOO."
"U WILL GET FLATZORED BY R L33T HAMMERS."
"Whoa... My helmet antenna! It's broken! Oh, man, YESSS!"
"Hey... Mine broke too! Talk about lucky! I mean, didja HEAR what was coming out of my mouth?"
"I know, dude! Seriously, who talks like that?! Anyway, I think these tots freed us!"
"Ya think? You little taters trashed our antennas?"
"Right ON! Seriously, thanks! You saved our bacon. We were... not right in the head."
"So listen, you gotta let us thank you by hooking you up with these spare hammers!"
"Now YOU can be Hammer Bros.! But we'd better teach you how to use 'em first.
"Ready to learn the ABCs of hammering stuff? We'll explain from up top, so open those eyes, guys!"
"OK, here's step one... Press to change the action icons into a little hammer dealie and a spinny thingamajig. When those icons change, and do different things... More on that in a sec'."
"Once you've changed the action icons with , all you have to do is press ."
"That'll make Baby Mario swing his hammer WHACK! He can smash obstacles and smack walls and stuff. Give it a shot little man!"
"I'll be waiting up ahead!"
"Nice! Yeah! Pow! Unh! Sweet!"
"All right, you're a natural, kid! And now it's time to learn the second hammer action! This one rules. It'll let you tunnet underground and pass below gates and stuff! Like I told ya earlier, press to change the action icon."
"Then press . That'll put you in a shoulder-stand. Then press again! BRRZZZP! You'll tunnel into the ground like a baby drill! Pretty cool, am I right?"
"You oughta be able to go right under this barrier here! To pop back up, just press or ! Let's see it in action."
"Let's rock it, guys!"
"One thing I forgot. You can't tunnel into that hard-looking floor in front of you there."
"So endeth the hammer practice, little buds!"
"Oh wait, we've got one last bit of special info for you."
"While you're out adventuring, look for suspicious marks. When you see one of these marks, drill underneath it and then pop out!"
"If you come up from under a mark, you'll get a bean, tots! If you collect lots of beans, good things will come your way!"
"And that's all we've got to tell you, taters!"
"Use those hammers to hurry up and rescue your pals!"
"Let's break, bro!"
"Hey, check it out! Now we'll teach you how to use hammers in battle like we do!"
"Choose the hammer. Now! When the hammer shakes, press the button!"
"Ah-HAAAAA!! You! You little red and green insects! Didn't I try to kidnap you once? Yeah, I did! Boy, THAT didn't work out so well.... and you don't look quite so little anymore.... And you're much hairier, too.... Weird....but none of that matters! You like bothering our budding master of evil, do you? Then I'll bother YOU up!"''
"Yaaaaaaaaaack! How long do I have to do this?! I'm in a hurry!"
"Prince Bowser! Let's scram!"
"Snacks.... Must find snacks...."
"Score! And doesn't look like anyone's home, so I'll just help myself to the goods."
"You gotta wonder why this place is so empty, through...."
"Whoa! You hairy jerks again! Chased me all the way to this stupid island, have you?"
"Huzzat? You want the Cobalt Star shards back?"
"Hey, I got my own problems. I'm on a snack run for Prince Bowser. He's on the cliff top. I don't have time for you guys! These snacks ain't gonna snack on themselves!"
"Hey, what's your beef, pal? I'm not tasty enough for you?! I'm prime Koopa, you snob!"
"You're lucky I'm in a rush."
"I gotta get these snacks to the prince, pronto, or I would whip that snooty pink tail for you."
"Boy, you doofuses just get on a Koopa's tail and STAY there, don'tcha?"
"Well, try this on for size..."
"Unless those overalls are fireproof, you're gonna barbecue, you weenies! Give up now!"
"You really think you're tough? Then make it to the cliff top, losers! I'd LOVE to see it!"
"Prince Bowser, LITTLE bites! Oh, here, have some warm milk. It's, uh, from an evil cow."
"Yeah... It's been...great."
"Ack! Baby alert!"
"Prince Bowser! Take it easy!"
"Leave this rabble to me. You just go walk it off, Your Hungriness!"
"You guys are really starting to chap my shell."
"I'm gonna yank out all those mustache hairs...AFTER I beat those cookies out of you!"
"You are true and courageous. Your heart is filled with virtue and concern for your brother. I do recommend you watch your diet, however it is also filled with much Alfredo sauce. You should especially cut down on carbora, though it will be hard, for that is very tasty. If you curb your appetite, do some light cardio work and continue to ward your brother, you will no doubt grow to be a figure of immense popularity, yet not grow an immense belly. You may pass and I do recommend puttanesca; that stuff is great."
"As for the babies, I know their hearts are innocent, so they may pass unhindered."