List of The Super Mario Bros. Super Show! quotes by other characters (A–K)

Main article: List of The Super Mario Bros. Super Show! quotes

This is a list of quotes from the television show The Super Mario Bros. Super Show! said by characters other than Mario, Luigi, Princess Toadstool, Toad, and King Koopa (A–K). This includes Koopa's Koopa Troopas and others.

Albatosses

• "Albatoss leader to squadron, Bob-Ombs away!"
• "Crash landing! Egg in the face! Fasten your seatbelt!"

Alligator Dundee

• "G'day, mate! I thought I heard folks out this way!"
• "Name's Alligator Dundee! I've been on a sewer safari in your local pipes! I'm huntin' the most ferocious, vicious, fearsome creature that I've ever encountered! Now, I've tracked him down here... He should be attacking you gents any minute now."
• "Ah... Now this here net will hold anything from a giant grizzly, down to a teeny weeny fleaney!"
• "I mean a flea."
• "Right. Now listen up. I'll lure that beast out of the sewer, then Mario, you drop the net over the monster. Luigi, you take the rope, slip it over, and tighten it up. But be careful, boys. One false move, and you'll end up as a couple of monster snacks!"
• "What's that?"
• "No, it's easy!"
• "Good point, mate! Just so you'll know for sure...here's what the bloodthirsty beast looks like."
• "Beats me!"
• "Watching-a Zelda, watching-a Zelda, you go a-watching the Zel..."
• "Oh, we're gonna try and take him peacefully, but if he endangers our lives, *cutting sound*."
• "All right, to your positions, mates!"
• "Now, I'll lure him out with this tuna sandwich! Wish me luck!"
• "There you are! Here, boy! Here, mate! Tuna sandwich? ...Boy! Whoa, wait up! Whoa! All ready, mates! Here we come!"
• "Not me, mates! The monster!"
• "Oh, mate. If you would've told me it was your pet in the first place, I never would have tried to capture him. Look, I'm a nice guy. Really."
• "Oh, look! I'm just a simple Australian bloke tryin' to make it big time! I dreamed I could be famous...if I came to New York, and captured a beast like the Ratagator, and fell in love with a beautiful american woman."
• "A movie? About an Australian hunter who comes to...New York, captures a beast like the Ratigator, and falls in love with a beautiful american woman?"
• "Well, thanks, mate! Maybe things will turn out alright after all!"
• "Well, bye now!"
• "One thing, though. I'm gonna change my name!"
• "From now on, you can call me Ratagator Dundee!"

Angelica

• "Perhaps it is I who can help you, sir! I am Angelica, Mysterious Salesperson for Weird Spooky Gadgets Incorporated! This is your lucky day!"
• "Do you gentlemen wish you owned a crystal ball that predicts the future, with ninety-nine and nine-tenths accuracy?"
• "It's a pain to clean anyway! How about a strange and eerie painting that gets older while the owner stays eternally young? I'm talkin' 90-year-old baby faces, fellas!"
• "Today only $14.50!"
• "How 'bout a wristwatch?"
• "And who needs all that when you have strange and mysterious?"
• "Ten bucks!"
• "It's pretty eerie too... How about seven?"
• "Okay. Rob me, but you won't be able to sleep at night."
• "It's a pleasure doing strange and mysterious business with you galoots! Try taking a broom to this floor once in awhile!"
• "What's the fuss? He looks fine to me!"
• "Maybe he works a late shift or something? I like the occasional dinner waffle myself!"
• "Oh, I'm such a pushover. Okay, I'll take your watch back for $10."
• "Yeah, but I'm a strange and mysterious crook! Is it a deal, mac?"
• "Cool your jets, whippersnapper!"
• "Hey, buddy! Don't give me the watch!"
• "You'll be fine! Just don't eat any onions for a few days!"
• "No, but it'll keep people backing away from you!"
• "(in reverse) (*with Mario and Luigi*) Mario the Do!"

Announcer

• "15 seconds!"
• "3...2...1...and action!"

Aunt Luigeena

• "I'm not your Mama Mia!"
• "That's right, calamari-brain! It's your Aunt Luigeena in-a the flesh!"
• "(*with Mario*) Do the Mario!"

Beezos

"King Mario of Cramalot"

• "Beezos away!"

"Love 'Em and Leave 'Em"

• "Attention, peasants! Those are Queen Rotunda's royal red-hot peppers you're robbing!"
• "The Queen owns everything in Rotunda! Therefore, you are thieves!"
• "It's too late! Queen Rotunda has been looking for someone to throw into her dungeon!"
• "For the rest of your life, at least!"
• "As I said, you're under arrest! And you must appear before Queen Rotunda!"
• "We are holding prisoners in the throne room, your immense rotundedness!"
• "They were caught robbing the royal hot peppers!"
• "Don't forget the prisoners, your hugeness!"
• "Dear me! Where did they go?"
• "Your roundness! The prisoners have escaped!"
• "Yes, your royal giganticness!"
• "Find the prisoners! We've only got two hours until the wedding starts!"

"The Fire of Hercufleas"

• "But, your most imperial and magnificent Koopaness, the Great Balls of Fire are guarded by the legendary Hercufleas!"
• "Great Balls of Fire! Dead ahead!"
• "Get this oversized hibachi back to the Koopacropolis! I'll take care of Hercufleas!"
• "Mad? I'd say you're...fit to be tied! King Koopa was right! You're not a hero, you're a zero!"
• "Sir! The Marios are coming!"
• "This could be a sticky situation!"

Big bad wolf

• "Koopa's no wolf, I'm a wolf. And the moment I've been waiting for is here at last! Little Red Riding Hood is on her way to Grandmother's house. I'll just beat her to Gramma's and she'll be mine! Mmmm, yummy yummy! Little Red Riding Hood in my tummy!"
• "What a run! The ol' gray wolf isn't what he used to be. But it's all gonna be worth it, because dinner...is about to be served."
• "Hey! What are you doing here?"
• "I'm setting a trap for Little Red Riding Hood."
• "You're making a big mistake, Koopa!"
• "I shall have to send my spare winter coats to the cleaners."
• "Oh, believe me. I'm big, and I'm bad. I just don't like that Stoopa Koopa cutting in on my territory. ...And, Princess. Ditch the red hood; it isn't safe in the woods."

Bingo

• "Dude, wait, wait, wait! Didn't the great Fire God say to sacrifice her at sundown?"

Bloobers

• "Eh, go suck on a sewer pipe! I can take ye with seven arms behind me back!"
• "Bad news, your royal Barra-Koopness. The Mario Brothers have arrived in Aqua Land."
• "Oh foul and putrid Koopaness, I bring you the last gold coins from the sunken ships of Aqua Land."

Boris

• "No. I am Boris; KGB. Announcing premier of Russia: Gobrachev!"

Brian Bonsall

• "I...I'm selling pots and pans, door to door."
• "How about encyclopedias?"
• "Would you believe Tupperware?"
• "Okay. I admit it. I'm lying like a dog. I'm running away from home. Boy. I didn't think I'd crack that easy."
• "My parents don't love me anymore. So I'm going to teach them a lesson, and when I'm gone, are they gonna miss me."
• "Okay."
• "Thanks for the pizza, guys. I hate to run on an empty stomach."
• "Sorry, guys. I've made up my mind. I'll teach my parents to appreciate me."
• "Really?"
• "Boy. It must be fun out on your own."
• "Mario, that story was so beautiful, I'm ready to barf!"
• "Uh-huh! I shouldn't run away because my parents will enjoy it too much."
• "I'd better hurry home before the popcorn's gone!"
• "Bye!"
• "(*with Mario and Luigi*) Do the Mario!"

British men

• "Blimey! The Queen has run off and gotten lost in Brooklyn!"
• "Oh no! We must find her highness! We never should've turned round to watch that girl jog by!"

Brutius Maximus Grouchimus

• "You must be the guests of honor!"
• "No, no! I'm Brutius Maximus Grouchimus, guardian of the coliseum! Follow me!"
• "There may not be anything to sneak into. The orphans's benefit dinner may be cancelled."
• "No spaghetti. We've got a plumbing problem in the catacombs under the coliseum, unless it's fixed."
• "Great! Guard, take Princess Toadstool and this creature-"
• "Take them on a tour of the coliseum!"
• "Ah, we're in luck! Here is the emperor now!"
• "You aren't goin' nowhere, fungus!"
• "Fungus!"
• "This is the place where we capture you!"
• "Koopa shoulda stuck with the spaghetti dinner idea in the first place! Yummy!"

Bunsen

• "Not if I can help it!"
• "That should mess him up for awhile!"
• "Princess Toadstool! It's me, Bunsen! You made it!"
• "No time for thanks! We've gotta get outta here before Robo Koopa figures out what I did to his controls! Down this way!"
• "He sure did! That Koopa's a stinker!"
• "{*with Luigi*} That Koopa's a stinker!"
• "...He's the only one who might know how to stop him! Come on! We've got a stinker to stop!"
• "Our problem is, Robo Koopa's got Dr. Nerdnick prisoner!"
• "Ya don't judge a genius by his lab coat."
• "I'm glad to see you too, Dr. Nerdnick! That did it! Let's go!"
• "The button on the left? What about it?"
• "He says, you can't!"
• "He said electricity and water don't mix. Get outta here before you get electrocuted!"
• "Quick! Everybody in here!"
• "He says he's gonna build you two into a robot that can defeat Robo Koopa!"
• "Yay! Alright! Way to go!"
• "He said that we don't have to worry, because your suit is about to run out of fuel unless you push the big red button on your chest!"
• "This time, he fibbed! The red button was for the ejector seat!"
• "Mario! He says this is the present for you and Luigi!"
• "He says he agrees. That's why he converted it into...a robo pizza oven!"

Butterfingers

• "The office of Sheldon the witch doctor is now open!"
• "This is terrible! Koopa kidnapped the witch doctor!"
• "Relax, Princess! I watched my boss mix his No-Itch Potion a zillion times!"
• "I guess that was the formula for making new cauldrons. I can't do it! I need the witch doctor!"
• "Princess! No! It's too dangerous!"
• "I couldn't let you face Koopa alone!"
• "No time for thanks, Princess! Potion smoke! The witch doctor's cooking something up!"
• "Oh no! Witch doctor Sheldon is in cahoots with King Koopa!"
• "Yikes! Cobrats!"
• "Dr. Sheldon! I can't believe it! You're a traitor! I hereby resign as your assistant!"
• "I should've known you weren't really on Koopa's side!"

Cabbie

• "Hey, what's that ugly, fat reptile doin' with the Coney Island sign?"
• "That bum's got nerve bigger than his schnozzola! Hey fatso, get back in the zoo!"
• "Koopa Island, Kooplyn Bridge, that slob's ruinin' civilization! I'm goin' for da cops! Close the door!"
• "Don't worry guys, I'll be back with da cops in three minutes! Then I'll expect a triple tip!"

Calamity Clam

• "Hehe! Not that empty!"
• "Didn't mean to scare ya, pilgrims! Hehe! Just wanted to say howdy!"
• "Why, I'm Calamity Clam: Sheriff of Lonesome Mushroom! Hehe! Best little ghost town in the west!"
• "Right over yonder, stranger!"
• "One assay job comin' right up!"
• "And fire chief, the town cook... Hehe! I also own the hat store! Hehehe!"
• "Hm... Mighty interestin'."
• "By golly! It's heads!"
• "Lasso in for a longhorn, buckaroos! Hehe! Well, this here's real gold! Hehe!"
• "Whoa! Heh! Looks like you folks started a genuine gold coin rush!"
• "I don't believe what I'm seein'! Lonesome Mushroom's done become a boomtown! Heh! I'm so busy being sheriff, I don't have time to wear my other hats!"
• "Well, it could be worse, little pard! Klaimjump Koopa could be here!"
• "Can't help anybody if we're captured too! Heh! Only one thing we can do! Head for the hills!"
• "Doesn't matter how much noise we make, pard! Heh! Lonesome Mushroom, is empty!"
• "Heh! But, how, Princess, ma'am?"
• "Fire Flowers? I know where there's a mine just plum full of Fire Flowers! Hehe! Come on!"
• "Sure is! But first, we gotta go through a tomato sauce mine!"
• "Funny you should mention that, pard! Got a vein of prime pasta noodles right here! Heheheh!"
• "Well, untie me and sell my hat! Haha! Look like you boys are fittin' to do some Koopa-stompin'!"

Captain Abidab

• "Great jumpin' jellyfish! I swear! None of you people has got no more gumption than a guppy!"
• "Call me Captain, sonny! Captain Abidab! I'm a harpooner, and I've got me a schooner! So, listen up! Cause the sooner we set sail, stick it to the sea monster, the happier I'll be!"
• "Now that we're shed of that there pompous pollywog, which of you landlubbers volunteers to be my crew on this here monster hunt?"
• "Thar she be, landlubbers! The mighty Peapod!"
• "Don't fret, matey! The Peapod's a stout seaworthy vessel! Now, let's weigh anchor and set sail!"
• "Keelhaul me for a barnacle, Princess! It's the scurvy crew of swabbies WE be puttin' to sea with!"
• "No sign of that slimy super sea snake!"
• "Nope! Just means we gotta go a little deeper, matey!"
• "Look out below!"
• "Shiver me timbers! That there sea monster's gonna gobble them up!"
• "You better! It's comin' for us!"
• "Come back, ya slimy sea snake, and fight like a fish!"
• "Keep bailin', Toad, cause if we don't keep afloat, we'll never find your friends!"
• "Well, blow me down! A message!"
• "And sufferin' sailfish! Koopa's gonna attack Happy Harbor with a submarine!"
• "I'm taking a shortcut home, matey! We've gotta get to Happy Harbor ahead of Koopa, and that sub!"
• "Thar she blows!"
• "No time, matey! Happy landings!"
• "Happy Harbor is doomed, unless those Marios do something fast!"
• "Fillet me for a flounder, mates! That Koopa's a regular typhoon!"
• "Yay, Marios!"

Captain Clump

• "Avast, argh me buckos!"
• "I told you to peel those potatoes, not to turn 'em into strings!"
• "Watch it, ya mush-headed matey!"
• "Why did I ever let YOU dinghies man my ship?"
• "My real crew deserted. Every sailor in the Caribbean is scared to death of Blackbeard Koopa!"
• "Aye! He's the plug ugliest pirate who ever scuttled a ship and stole a treasure!"
• "No one's safe from Blackbeard Koopa, matey! No one!"
• "Blackbeard Koopa's flag!"
• "Surrender to a blackhearted scoundrel like you? Never!"
• "Koopa gives pirates a bad name."
• "Shiver me timbers! Blackbeard Koopa drilled me bow full of holes! That rat! I'll make him walk the plank for this! ...That's if we don't end up as fish food first."
• "Ya lost your landlubbin' mind?! We're tied to the mast!"
• "Thar she be! Pirate's Port!"
• "Heheh! Uh-uh, sure, mates! Sure! You're-you're-you're mean-lookin' barnacles!"
• "Run, matey! Run!"

Caveboy

• "A mazza mash o potato."
  ("Scram this way.")
• "Mackey glana pan cakey oo maple syrup."
  ("Over the next hill.")
• "Baggat banana splita!"
  ("We'll take a shortcut!")

Cheepy

• "Cheep cheep!"
• "M-m-mommy! Little Cheepy want mommy!"
• "Little Cheepy want his mommy!"
• "Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah! Mommy! I want my mommy-y-y-y-y!"

Cher

• "♪ I'll miss you, baby! ♪"
• "You must have me confused with sonny! Hi, Luigi! Hi, Mario!"
• "How can I forget? My shower still runs the dishwasher."
• "Hey, let's cut the small talk. I have an emergency dimple appointment with my plastic surgeon. Can you watch my little Poochie?"
• "Who said anything about money? See ya!"
• "How ya doin' there?"
• "Yeah, I bet you say that to all the girls! Down, boy! Get down, get down!"
• "Oh, come to mama, baby! Did you miss Mama? Come 'ere, baby!"
• "Oh, can't we wait till we get home, baby? ...AAAAAHHHHHH!!!"
• "(*with Mario and Luigi*) Do the Mario!"

Construction men

• "Hmmm... I wonder what he wants with concrete?"
• "Hey, sewage-for-brains! What're ya doin' with my fast drying concrete?"

CooKoo Bird

"Toupee"

• "Incoming train!"

"Game Show Host"

• "So, name that tune and shut up already! Huh!"

"Treasure of the Sierra Brooklyn"

• "Whoa! Hold on there! Get on outta here!"

"No Way to Treat a Queenie"

• "Leave me outta this!"
• "QUIET!!!"

"Pizza Crush"

• "Whohohohoa, yeah! Incoming b-b-b-babe!"
• "Wow! Hummina, hummina, hummina!"
• "Who-o-oa! I wish I was a plumber!"

"French"

• "Hey, pizza man! Maybe he went to France!"
• "Whoa! Hummina, hummina, hummina, hummina! Are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?"

"Santa Claus is Coming to Flatbush"

• "Ho ho ho! It's midnight, everybody! Merry Christmas!"

Cops

"Plummers Academy"

• "Where ya been, down a sewer pipe? The President of the U.S. of A. is showin' the President of Russia around Brooklyn!"
• "Quick! We gotta save the President! Is there a plumber in the house?"
• "Thank you, boys! The Presidents are safe!"

"Flatbush Koopa"

• "Stop, ya crook! Take off your dumb disguise and bring back that loot!"

Count Zoltan Dracula

• "Greetings! You must be Mario! You must be Luigi! You must be kidding! This place is a dump! Oh, well. Wake me up at sunsets. I am a night person, you know."
• "Here comes the sun, little darlings!"
• "I bid you well, to these delicious scenes from the Legend of Zelda!"
• "EXCUSE ME! Relax. Would you really like to know how to get rid of a vampire?"
• "Just ask me! I'll be out of here like a bat!"
• "(with Mario and Luigi) Do the Mario!"

Cyndi Lauper

• "Hi!"
• "Yeah! I've been passing these flyers all over town. I was supposed to meet Captain Lou Albano for lunch for a picnic, and all I found was...these."
• "And this. 'Dear Cyndi: I'm sorry I'm not here, but I've gone for good.'"
• "According to officials in Moscow, Comrade Louski is not there! And please send some more 8-track tapes!"
• "I don't know, Luigi, but we can't give up hope! No matter where Captain Lou is or how bad things are for him. No matter how good shapes his toenails are in! I just know he'll be OK!"
• "Here. Put these in water. It's from the president."
• "Well? Maybe he wants me for dinner."
• "It's not dinner."
• "The President is calling off Operation Lou Search. He hereby decrees Captain Lou to be missing forever!"
• "Any word from Captain Lou yet, Mario?"
• "Gee. Thanks for tryin' to cheer me up, guys, but that won't bring Captain Lou back."
• "I'm starved. Any more pizza?"
• "Thanks, Mario. You're as nice as Lou."
• "Captain Lou! Thank goodness you're safe! I posted a $50 reward for you!"
• "Where you been, Lou?"
• "Yeah! That's what worried me. Look! 'Dear, Cyndi: Sorry I'm not here, but I've gone for good."
• "You mean you just went down the street?"
• "Well, lemme introduce you to a guy who helped me with those, Luigi. Captain Lou, meet Luigi."
• "Well, bye, Luigi. Thanks for everything and say goodbye to Mario. And I gotta say, out of all the Mario Brothers I've ever met, you two are at the top of the list!"
• "Thanks!"
• "Bye!"

David Horowitz

• "I'm David Horowitz and tonight, we're going to fight back against shlock!"
• "We're at the Mario Brothers- uh, what do you call this place?"
• "Home! And they claim that they can dissolve any clog in three minutes or less, with their Mario Brothers Clog Cleaner."
• "Well, here's my clogged sink. You guys can begin when you're ready!"
• "Gentlemen, start your Clog Cleaner!"
• "Worldwide."
• "Aren't you using too much?"
• "That's right! Okay! Let the countdown begin."
• "What in the world is happening here? We haven't finished this challenge! Mario and Luigi! Where are you? You created a monster!"
• "This is David Horowitz, and I'm really fighting back! Wait till I get my hands on those Mario Bros... I'm out of here!"
• "We'll fight back with the Mario Bros. after these exciting scenes from The Legend of Zelda! I should be getting hazardous duty pay!"
• "{*with Mario and Luigi*} Do the Mario!"

Dealin' Delbert

• "Frankly, friends, there's just not much demand for this model! She's a real hay burner! Tell you what? I really like you boys, so I'm gonna take her as a trade-in!"
• "Look at this here beauty! Four spigots, white sidewall hooves! You get at least twenty gallops at the hay bail! I'll trade you even!"
• "Anybody can sell a cow for gold coins!"
• "Well, this is your lucky day, boys! I'm gonna give you a bargain you'll never forget, or my name isn't Dealin' Delbert!"

Doc Freud

• "Hello, fellas! I'm Doc Freud the very, very, very, very famous, yet very affordable family psychotherapist!"
• "What? Is this the entire lot of miserable people? You know I charge by the house load, not the individual. It's gonna cost you just as much for two screwballs, than it is for an entire fuh-family full! Let's get started! Alright! Chair?"
• "So, tell me. How long have you two miserable excuses for human beings been harboring these feelings of resentment and sibling rivalry?"
• "How long have you hated each other's guts?"
• "Ah, since birth. Now, have any of you had any traumatic experiences as children with...BLACK DUCT TAPE?!"
• "Aha... Alright... Now we're getting somewhere. Well, after careful consideration and analysis and all of that psychological stuff, I believe the root of your problem is that Mario, you are a big slob! Just look at this place! It's a little scary, don't you think? I think this black line should stay right here, until you get your act together! That's my prescription! So long, guys!"
• "(*with Mario and Luigi*) Do the Mario!"

Dr. Frankenstein

• "Yes, but I wouldn't talk about him like that."
• "He's very sensitive."
• "Make sure you strap him in real tight!"
• "Mario, I think he forgives you."
• "I think we're almost ready."
• "He's so cranky, I had to promise him a normal brain. Oh... You know, I guess you might do in a pinch!"
• "Ahhh, you're no good. Your brother is a party pooper. Come. Help me find a normal brain!"
• "Don't be ridiculous! He never used a brain before anyway!"
• "There's not enough juice left in this thing! ...Wait! This calls for scientific hands-on treatment!"
• "My Frank! Oh, Frank! Frank! I'm sorry you had a horrible brain in you for a while, but look at it this way! That poor guy is stuck with that brain forever!"

Dr. Nerdnick

• "Laumple daumple dee square pie square Koopa Robo werner dinner quart."
  ("I'm glad to see you, Bunsen.")
• "Mipper Bunsen seagull muggle wetter mer dactylmutz."
  ("The button on the left.")
• "Mamba bumble saltser kvyken mastein!"
  ("You can't!")
• "Stuggle mcgurgle snifit snukonz certain cackle dackle."
  ("Electricity and water don't mix. Get outta here before you get electrocuted.")
• "Rumpa radarn vortex kvodorlets stumple thumple!"
  ("I'm gonna build you two into a robot that can defeat Robo Koopa!")
• "Ritfawk safety wafety!"
  ("You guys don't have to worry because his suit is about to run out of fuel unless he pushes the big red button on his chest!")
• "Ifty fifty foolis voosh!"
  ("This time I fibbed! The red button was for the ejector seat!")
• "Foosh! Dopey smoke!"
  ("This is the present for you and Luigi!")
• "Overlord crayenda vennabinez svetta!"
  ("I agree! That's why I've converted it into a Robo Pizza Oven!")

Dr. Sigmund Fruitcake

• "Achtung! I am Dr. Sigmund Fruitycake, the noted head doctor! I got here as quick as I could! Oh, boy! I love making head calls! Oh, oh! This is a very unusual head...aside from the obvious ugliness, and the hairiness of this head, I do not see a problem."
• "A bird? Ah, pish-posh! It's no problem! Many people, maybe two or three! They dream, and they fantasize, about flying around like a bird, bit it is a- it's a perfectly normal thing to do! Yah! Yah!"
• "Ah, don't mention it!"
• "Auch de libre! Oy veys mir! This man, he really has a problem!"
• "Now, what's the problem, Luigi? You get me up in ze middle of ze night? You dial 976-DIAL-A-SHRINK or something?"
• "But, Luigi, my chicken therapy! It was a stunning success! Your brother is no longer under the illusion, that he is a chicken!"
• "What? What? I don't understand!"
• "So, that is it you want for me to do, Luigi? You want that I should revert M-Mario just back to plain vanilla Mario?"
• "Why?"
• "You silly chimp chicken you! Stop with the monkey business!"
• "Oh! That's just some psychiatric Looney Tunes banter! I find that it, relaxes the patients, and personally, I like that joke very much!"
• "You're absolutely right! But seriously, folks! It is a pleasure to be back here in Brooklyn, where the surf meets the plumbing!"
• "Oh, this is a very tough room! Alright, Mario! I'll tell you what we will do! We will use thought transfer therapy! I want that we will take the thought that are in your mind, and we will send him, ah, who cares? Wherever they go we will send them! Alright, I want that you should repeat after me! I am not a chicken!"
• "NEIN! NEIN! I AM NOT A CHICKEN! SAY IT! I am not a chicken! Say it!"
• "Now, I am not a monkey!"
• "I AM NOT A MONKEY!!!"
• "I think that you are cured!"
• "Well, no more problems around here!"
• "Well, I tell you what you should do. Take $10 off of my bill."
• "Do the Mario!"

Dr. Sheldon

• "You ran around the village seven times backwards?"
• "You drank my blue potion, swam in my pink potion and danced the Funky Chicken on top of that grass hut?"
• "Then you are cured! Assistant, bring on the next patient!"
• "Frankly, that's something I never studied in witch doctor school."
• "Hey! Help! Get me out of here!"
• "Or?"
• "Listen, you buddy! You want a potion? You got a potion!"
• "Veggies, some herbs and spices, four left legs from a right-handed centipede."
• "Radishes! I forgot the radishes!"
• "Stalling? Why would I stall my best buddy Koopa? This potion is ready!"
• "Right away, your royal Koopaness!"
• "Stand back, Butterfingers! And you, Princess! Duck!"
• "No, it's my Industrial Strength Itching Potion, and it's just what Koopa deserves!"
• "Me? The best witch doctor with validated parking in the whole jungle? I can give it a shot!"
• "That's because you haven't had Sheldon's famous antidote yet!"
• "Tadaaaa!"
• "No, but they'll be so busy eating, they won't even notice it."

Dr. T. Garden

• "It's honor to meet two of the world's greatest plumbers!"
• "Ouch!"
• "Oh, that cursed Koopa! I'll show you. We taped it on my laboratory's hidden camera!"
• "Oh! This is my most powerful Super Sushi yet! One taste and it's gargantua time! Huh?"
• "You crazy Koopa! You ate all my Super Sushi! Now you grow too much!"
• "It's my fault Koop-zilla is destroying Sayonara."
• "Ooh! My latest batch of Super Sushi is now ready!"
• "Oh, not again! I just had that ceiling fixed!"
• "Terrific teriyaki! I've done it!"
• "Oh! I've created the antidote for Super Sushi!"
• "Thank you for saving Sayonara from that gigantic green greaseball!"
• "No, no, no! Don't eat that! That is my latest invention: Shrinking Sukiyaki!"
• "Oooh! Well, there IS no antidote. You must wait one week for it to wear off."

Dr. Toby

• "No! It is I who can help you! When a plant is in distress, the great Dr. Toby knows about it! You can call it a gift, you can call it a power, and a curse. I developed a Super Plant Growth Formula to save your dying plant!"
• "Yes! But, it's in the experimental phase. Read the instructions carefully! You may be tested. Heheh! Pop Quiz!"
• "Holy fertilizer! My formula works! Oh! Oh! Oh my! Oh! Oh! Open your stamen and say 'ah!'"
• "No sweat! I've developed an antidote for my Growth Formula which should shrink this plant back down to its original size!"
• "Prepare to shrink, you almost-grown dinner salad!"
• "Here goes nothing!"
• "My shrinking formula worked!"
• "Hey, boys! Y'know, I've developed a fast-acting Super Yeast Formula for your pizza dough if you're interested!"
• "{*with Mario and Luigi*} Do the Mario!"

E.C.

• "As you wish, dream date Mario!"
• "Nice place you got here! ...you got here! ...you got here! ...you got here!"
• "I must leave!"
• "I must return to my home planet to watch more scenes from the exciting Legend of Zelda!"
• "I must leave, Mario! Poopsie-woopsie!"
• "You will always have my heart."

Edison

"Day of the Orphan"

• "Now let me see here, if I move my bishop four to queen six, uh, no, no, no, because if I do that, then I won't be able to this one here. But then again if I move that one here, then I can move this one here."
• "Well of course if I move this one here-"
• "Yes?"
• "Well, I have a move here!"
• "Okay, here it is!"
• "That's my move."
• "That's it!"
• "That's it?"
• "That's your move?"
• "Checkmate! Hahahahahahaha, I just beat you there, look at that!"
• "Checkmate! Hahehehehehehehehehehehe, go get that, heheha!"

"Magic's Magic"

• "I'm open!"
• "Slam dunk, and the crowd roars!"

"Cher's Poochie"

• "Consider it done there, Mario!"
• "Okie-dokie, all pizza transforming systems are go!"

"Wild Thing"

• "Oh hey, listen, yeah. *cough* *cough* Sure I am, uh, youse guys got enough power here for the whole weekend!"

"Time Out Luigi"

• "Wow! What was that?"

"Texas Tea"

• "Hey you guys, I just wanted to let you know that I fixed that leaky oil pipe! Aren't ya proud of me?"

Einstein

• "Call me the Einster, please! I'm ready now!"
• "Hello, HAL! How are you today?"
• "HAL, your new owners are Mario and Luigi!"
• "Don't worry! Watch! HAL, I would like a pepperoni pizza, no anchovies or fried eggs! Hoohoohoohoo! You have to say that or it puts them in!"
• "No, it's just that the HAL 9001 simply never makes mistakes, that's all! Hoohoohoohoo! If anything comes up, give me a call! Bye! Bye!"
• "I forgot something! Your bill! Oh, HAL! You've gone nutso!"
• "Oh, sure, HAL! Sing me a song!"
• "Guys, I'm terribly sorry! HAL went yaya! I'm just glad I got here in time, or you would've eaten those horrible pizzas!"
• "{*with Mario and Luigi*} Do the Mario!"

Ellie Mae

• "Howdy there! Is this here the Mario Bros.'s sink-fixin' shop? Well...you see...what I need to do is to get me a brand-spankin' new store-bought faucet assembly! Have ya all got one?"
• "Oh, I guess I'm just plumb outta luck."
• "Well, please! Just call me Ellie Mae, but I didn't catch your name!"
• "Well, you're just the kinda plumbers I'm looking for! Country bumpkins!"
• "Are you fellas gonna be ready to go anytime soon? Like this week?"
• "You're just about the cutest little fella I've ever seen! What do y'all call him?"
• "Well, I wanna thank you fella for goin' to make a house call! But are you sure you all done a bunch of plumbing before?"
• "Oh, isn't that sweet? I'll tell ya what? When y'all are finished, why don't we just get you to stay over and we'll just have an old-fashioned possum dinner?"
• "Okay! Well, while you're hard at work, I'll just bake up a fresh peach cobbler!"
• "(*with Mario Joe and Luigi Bob*) Do the Mario!"

Elvin Parsley

• "Oh yeah! I feel good now. I feel good!"

Elvin Parsley's blue suede shoes

Left shoe

• "I'm so glad to be out!"
• "That's right, daddio, and it's a terrible thing!"
• "Koopa took the king across town, but don't you worry!"
• "Don't you worry, Princess fair!"
• "Not for long if ya don't delay!"
• "Wooow! Boogey! Boogey! Boogey away!"
• "Owww! I don't mean to be mean!"
• "Hey! You guys got something against heels?"
• "Dance!"
• "Wow! We did it! A Mario vehicle!"
• "We gotta run and hide!"
• "Well, what can we say?"
• "All you gotta do is put us on!"

Right shoe

• "I'm gonna dance and shout!"
• "That lousy Koopa busted in and grabbed our king!"
• "We'll show you the way, but you gotta hurry!"
• "Elvin Parsley is right in there!"
• "Put me on his feet, he'll be ready to play!"
• "Live to boogey another day!"
• "But let's flee this scene!"
• "Hey! You guys got something against heels?"
• "Dance!"
• "Wow! We did it! A Mario vehicle!"
• "No time for another ride!"
• "Hey! That's my line, chump."
• "And that stone cat'll be really gone!"

Elvira

"Mommies Curse"

• "This is Elvira, calling live from Brooklyn! If you can call that live, so gimme a ring! Then we'll settle down."
• "Oh, joy! There's my first phone call now! Hello?"
• "Huh, I don't see what the problem is. He can get a nice job at the post office!"
• "Well, I'm a...I'm a little rusty, but uh, I'll give it my best shot. Um... There's no place like home! There's no place like home!"
• "Whoa! Being a little bit like Dorothy... Where's Tin Man anyway? Uh, here goes! Okay!"
• "Before you turn to something worse, let the zombie curse reverse! Cha cha cha!"
• "Oh! Didn't know you had band-aid for a brother!"
• "I told you I was a little rusty. Uh, Luigi mummy, lose your wrap, turn back into a blithering sap!"
• "How's that?"
• "Well, if you can teach him to catch a frisbee in his mouth, he'll be a big hit at the beach!"
• "Hold still, will ya? Still hairy than Grizzly Adams. Uh, make that Manny the Wolf Boy."
• "Hey! I have done all a gal in black can do! I am in a tizzy!"
• "Huh! You must be kiddin'!"
• "By George, I think he's got it! I think he's got it! What's he gonna gaze?"
• "♪ The rain, in Spain, stays mainly, on the plain! ♪ (x4)"
• "Yeah, but, so are hams."
• "Oh! I love parties!"
• "{*with Luigi*} Uh oh!"

"The Ghoul of my Dreams"

• "Well, luckily for that monster, our lovely heroine moves it about as fast as Gramma Elvira down at the mall. Otherwise, you'd have to settle for terrorizing turtles! Now, back to our real exciting movie: The Mean Creature from the Scary Sewer!"
• "Hey, buddy! Wake up! I caught you snorin'!"
• "Hey, you rather you look. Listen, big fella."
• "Yeah, well, listen, big Mario. You've gotta help me!"
• "Oh, ow! Well, my first wish is for you to save me from this monster!"
• "Oh! Hey, hey, hey, hey! Watch it, boy! My knuckle's saying no driving on the ground! YIKES! BOTH HANDS! Uhhh, got a masked monster?"
• "Boy, I don't know what this is, but it sure is reminding me of my first date! I hope this is gonna buy me dinner! HELP!!!"
• "Geez! His grip is tighter than his grasp! Yuck! Some creepy, slimy, dirty mess!"
• "I'm not talking about your apartment. Oh no! He's back on his feet again!"
• "On these heels? Are you kiddin'? Show him who's boss!"
• "Eh, show him the town. Just get rid of him!"
• "Okay, I am the Mistress of the Dark, knocked on a reed in case you haven't noticed. You only got to show this plumber! Huh, if I can only move as fast as Gramma Elvira down at the mall!"
• "Yeah, well...I'd tell you the same thing, but...I hate to lie. Oh, boy! Why could I just have popped up in the manhole of some gaseous cologne? Even the conversation was gettin' scarce, but he was running away despite sayin'... Yo!"
• "What? You mean, 'cause, 'cause he'll just clothe us in some grizzly fashion?"
• "Oh, this is terrible! I just paid my next month's rent!"
• "It's the most horrible sight I've ever seen!"
• "Well, I'm gettin' outta here before I meet the rest of your family."
• "Good night, Mario. And unpleasant dreams!"

Elvis Presley

• "Well, I don't think that mob is gonna go for it. I mean, you look like Michael Jackson on a yeast diet, but don't be cruel. We're gonna do it my way!"
• "HA! Good to see you!"
• "Now boys, what you need here is some tips from the King, OK?"
• "Hey, man. Who blew your hair up?"
• "Alright now! Now listen to he here. The first thing here is the Elvis Lip Twitch, OK? Imagine you got the mouth here like this, you know, and the corner of the mouth just keeps goin' up there and movin' like crazy, OK? Kinda like, 'Uh-huh! Uh-huh!' Now, who wants to be the first to try it?"
• "Alright! Bad Elvis number one! OK, now Luigi, it's kinda like, 'Uh-huh! Uh-huh!' You know, kinda like wrapping your lips around some deep-fried catfish."
• "Alright now! Deep-fried pizza, baby!"
• "OK, here we go! Uh-huh! Uh-huh! Uh-huh!"
• "Close enough, man. Thank you."
• "Alright! Now, the next thing, and very important for the ladies! 'K, gentlemen, up here now! You got to have your feet movin' in a pattern here like this. In order to get the knees to go, which makes the hips move! Now, like, 'Huh, yeah! Uh-huh!' OK? Who wants to be the one to try it?"
• "Bad Elvis number two!"
• "Front and center! Front and center! Right over here, now. You ready? Huh, huh, huh, huh! Yeah, you got it! Now, try it-try it with the singing!"
• "Yeah! Alright! Yeah!"
• "You must be improvin', man, 'cause you're bringin' the house down! Uh-huh!"
• "The real Elvis will be back after the exciting scenes from The Legend of Zelda!"
• "Uh-huh!"
• "You know, I had a mama myself! I called her The King's Mama!"
• "Hey! I think I got a solution! Come on up here, boys! Let's see if you learned anything today!"
• "Okay, now! Watch me closely!"
• "♪ Love me slender, love me heavy, you know I love banana sandwiches, uh-huh! ♪ Take it, boys!"
• "Ladies and gentlemen...Elvis has left the basement!"
• "(with Mario and Luigi) Do the Mario!"

Ernie Hudson

• "Oh, we heard it was you! I lost the toss of the coin!"
• "Oh! Looks like I got here just in time! This place is an ectoplasmic disaster area!"
• "It's in there. Stand back. This ain't gonna be pretty."
• "You got a sticky situation in there!"
• "Hey. If I'm not back in ten minutes, put a dime in the meter."
• "That is the most disgusting, revolting, hideous inanity I've ever seen!"
• "Oh, he's shaking just fine!"
• "Ah, this is weird. There's no sign of that ghost anywhere!"
• "What's that?"
• "Aha!"
• "He's here. That means he's here...with us."
• "{with Mario} Uh oh!"
• "Okay, be ready, Mario. This triple ricochet has a one in a million shot. It'll either drive that ghost away from Luigi's body, or turn him into a drooling moronic zombie forever."
• "You okay, Luigi?"
• "And what's the bad news?"
• "(with Mario and Luigi) Do the Mario!"

Exterminator

• "I understand you have bats in your basement!"
• "I'm sure we'll soon find out!"
• "It looks like you boys have a serious problem! I'll have to give it extra special attention! I think I'll go look over here!"
• "Where? Where?"
• "Oh, I'll keep an open mind, if you keep an open collar! Now if you will excuse me, I must find the little bats- err, little boy's room!"
• "Look, boys! Boys! No self-respecting bat would uh, hang out in a dump like this! I cannot exterminate a bat that does not exist, so if you'll excuse me, I really must fly!"
• "Please watch these exciting scenes from Legend of Zelda! The assaults are beautiful!"
• "Okay! Okay! I get the hint! I know when I'm not wanted! Ugh! Boy, what a smack! Ugh... Goodbye!"
• "Why? I was lonely! This was the only way I could think of to meet people! You see, I'm a night person, and there's no one awake to play with while I'm up!"
• "Have you ever tried to have fun at night? Oh, I tell you. You can just forget about things like archery and bird watching and catching pop flies! Oh, I got five bumps on my head from doing that!"
• "Bowling? Oh, boy golly gee wilickers!"
• "I cannot relate!"
• "(*with Mario and Luigi*) Do the Mario!"

Flab Boys

• "We're the Flab Boys, hi-dee-ho! This Koopa dude's got to go!" - Flab Boy 1
• "He trapped King James in his castle! To get him out's gonna be a great big hassle!" - Flab Boy 2
• "Koopa's bad rap done somethin' to town, but earphones saved us from his sound!" - Flab Boy 1
• "Well, here's the place! It's all goin' down!" - Flab Boy 1
• "Gotta do somethin' quick or he'll ruin the town!" - Flab Boy 2
• "Sorry, bros, we got carried away!" - Flab Boy 1
• "We're just in a hurry to save the day!" - Flab Boy 2
• "Take that!" - Flab Boy 1
• "Take that!" - Flab Boy 2
• "Take that, Troopa!" - Flab Boy 1
• "Our airplay assaults will knock you for a loopa!" - Flab Boy 2
• "There it is! Rap Land's power!" - Flab Boy 1
• "Mario, what a dude!" - Flab Boy 2
• "You sprang Koopa's scheme!" - Flab Boy 1
• "One false move and we'll sit on you!" - Both
• "It's about these dudes who deserve a pact!" - Flab Boy 1
• "That's why we call it the Mario Rap!" - Flab Boy 2

Flurries

"The Bird! The Bird!"

• "It's them! Princess Toadstool and those two faucet freaks! Come on Flaky, let's tell King Koopa so we can put 'em on ice for good."
• "Thank you, your extremest most royal and regal Koopaness."
• "We have important news, your royal Koopaness. The princess and her plumbers survived the avalanche."

"The Koopas are Coming! The Koopas are Coming!"

• "Oops!"
• "Uh, it's only midnight, exalted leader. Have patience."
• "In the dark?"
• "All ready in front, exalted one, but what if General Washingtoad sneaks up from behind?"
• "I-I don't know, magnificent mentor. Why?"
• "Maybe it was one of them."
• "Let go! Hey!"

Fred Van Winkle

• "Gazuntite!"
• "It's alright there! Hey, good morning everybody! You look like two nice fellows, and as soon as I find my razor, whaddaya say we 23 skiddoo, find us some hot tamales, and end Charleston with them tootsies!"
• "Last night?"
• "Of course I do! It's 1929! It's a great year if you like depression! But, hey! Where are my manners? My name is Fred; Fred Van Winkle!"
• "Thank you! Took me a long time."
• "Indoor plumbing? A lot has changed in the last 60 years! Hello?"
• "What is- What is this thing here?"
• "This must be one of those portable computer thingamajigs! You're always telling me about it."
• "And this? This must be a toy too!"
• "Really? Hello! Hello? Fred Van Winkle here! Hello?! They must've forgotten the area code to Mars."
• "Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello?"
• "Help! Help! This buckle trap is trying to eat me!"
• "You sure this looks alright?"
• "This is nice and comfy!"
• "This shirt does have a lot of modern art on it! What do you call this design?"
• "What about this?"
• "And this?"
• "I don't know I should wear this shirt or eat it."
• "Oh yeah?"
• "After all that?"
• "All this talk about modern life has made me tired. I gotta lie down and then take a nap."
• "Sure! How about 1997?"
• "{*with Mario and Luigi*} Do the Mario!"

Fryguy

"The Great BMX Race"

• "Sssstop dere, deadbeat!"
• "Sssss! I've been lookin' for YOU, Mussssshroom!"
• "You owe me 60 gold coins! Pay up by sundown, or I'll turn you into fried fungusssss!"
• "Ssssss! Then find a way to get some! Maybe you can win the prize money in the Great BMX Race! Sssssss!"

"Too Hot to Handle"

• "Ssssss! What should I do with the real Fire God?"
• "Sssss! Hot stuff! I can't wait! You ready for your broadcast, ssssss, as the fake Fire God?"
• "Ssssss! The Lava Machine's ready for full destruction, your Koopaness!"
• "Ssssssundown, your nastiness, like you told 'em!"
• "Ssss! Yes, your royal nastiness!"
• "Inflate the Fireproof Lava Boat!"
• "The Fireproof Lava Boat is ready to sail, your meanness!"
• "Sssss! Hold it, your bossinesssssss! I got a hot flash for ya!"
• "Sssss! But we got trouble! The Marios have re-plumbed the Lava Machine and they stopped up the pipesssssss!"
• "Sssssee? Instead of the Lava Machine destroying the island, it's gonna destroy us!"
• "Sssss! Great! Koopa warped out and left me to face the heat!"

"Hooded Robin and His Mario Men"

• "Fffffff! Hubba hubba!"
• "Ssss! Hot stuff!"
• "I'm the heat to meet, baby! The name's Fryguy! Ffffff!"
• "My heart is on fire! Ffffff!"
• "Wait till I get my flames on you! Ssssss!"

Genie

• "Yow! You got some nerve! What're you bothering me for? This better be important!"
• "Hey, stupid! What else could I be, cooped up in this cramped lamp? YOW!!!"
• "Terrific! A lousy lamp stuck on my foot! I hope you're satisfied!"
• "Ugh! There's a fungus among us!"
• "Stop whining! I'll see what I can do."
• "I'll cast a magic spell!"
• "So, I goofed. Well, you don't have to make a STINK over it, ya know?"
• "Fly? Do you know what a drain that is on me?"
• "Now you're talkin'! Eenie-meenie-miney-mo, make 'em fly, I need the dough!"
• "How did I do that?"
• "Watch it! Where'd you learn how to drive, huh?"
• "Not so fast! Not so bumpy! Hey, not so high!"
• "Not so fast! Not so low!"
• "I've had enough! This is where I get off!"
• "Watch where you're driving! Too fast! Oh, too slow! I'm gonna make your life miserable, you reckless reptile!"

George Washingtoad

• "I cannot tell a lie! Things are terrible here!"
• "We are fighting to save our new nation and bring freedom to all Mushrooms!"
• "It's Redcoat Koopa, leader of the Koopish Army!"
• "Unfreeze them, Redcoat, before I call my army!"
• "Help!"
• "Get me out of here!"
• "Look out!"
• "No time for pain, my boy! History awaits! We've got to hurry and free my army!"
• "And Redcoat Koopa attacks at dawn! Someone must warn the citizen Mushrooms!"
• "Are you a patriot or a coward?"
• "General Redcoat Koopa has captured your brother! He demands our immediate surrender, or else!"
• "Hmm, you've only unfrozen a few of my minutemen Mushroom soldiers. We're hopelessly outnumbered!"
• "That means crossing the Delawide River!"
• "Land ahead! Row harder!"
• "What's this for?"
• "At your service, scoundrel! Give us Koopa, or give us death!"
• "Divided we stand! Together we fall!"
• "As father of- Ah... Ah... Ah... AHHHH-CHOOOO!!!"
• "Just a little cold."
• "It's a constitutional thing."
• "As father of the Thirteen Mushroom Colonies, I proclaim Mario and Luigi official uncles of our country! But where are they?"

George Washington

• "I've slept in Valley 4th! I've slept in Mt. Vernon! I even slept on a boat! But I've never been desperate enough to sleep in a dump!"
• "Well, I'm really not tithe, I've had five cups of coffee already after lunch, but...never want to refuse hospitality!"
• "After these exciting scenes from Legend of Zelda, we'll have some exciting scenes from the East River!"
• "Great! First, they lied about me, now they want me to sit for a lousy dream sequence!"
• "Valley Forge! I'm sending you as replacements, which shows you how desperate I am!"
• "No, you lied! And you've ought to swim this last mile in this icy river!"
• "(*with Mario and Luigi*) Do the Mario!"

Giant Birdo

• "Cheepy! My little Cheepy!"
• "Cheepy! My darling little Cheepy! Give mommy a kiss!"
• "Mommy missed her little Cheepy so much!"
• "Aww, you're such a jokester!"
• "Now, where did I put that telephone?"
• "Hello? Oh, it's the Missing Bird Bureau! You can call off the search for my missing baby! I found my little sweetums!"
• "It was a terrible picture of you anyway, little Cheepy."
• "Oh, Cheepy. Quit kidding around and give mommy a hug!"
• "Oh, this is a fun game! Kissums! Kissums! Kissums are a-coming!"
• "Rock-a-bye li'l Cheepy, on the mountain so high... If you get lost again, your mommy will cry!"
• "Oh, Cheepy! You're such a teaser!"
• "I almost forgot! It's time for your flying lessons!"
• "Mommy knows best, little Cheepy!"
• "I'll let you go, sweetums...at 30,000 feet!"
• "Here we are, little Cheepy! 30,000 feet! Now mommy will let you fly! Happy landings!"
• "We did!"
• "Come on, sweeties! We've got to make the world safe for little Cheepy! Let's get those insects!"
• "You saved my little Cheepy! Would you like to come to dinner?"
• "I cooked this just for you, Mario. My favorite recipe!"

Goombas

• "Alright, alright, alright! Listen up, all you groovy Goombas, and give a big hand to a great band: The Toadstool Trio!"
• "Food fight! Food fight!"

Goosey

• "Can you help me? I've gotta get out of here! I'm laid out!"
• "I know a way if you can get me down!"
• "Whew! What a relief! You got me wrong! He makes me do it for the magic spell!"
• "Under there! Before the coins covered it, I saw part of the garbanzo beanstalk creep through a tiny crack!"
• "Look! The crack's grown bigger!"
• "How can I ever thank you?"
• "Sorry. Without Koopa and his magic spell, all you get are plain old eggs! Like one?"
• "Good! Have an egg!"
• "Oh, I am sorry! I'll try again!"
• "Oh, darn! It's just terrible when you can't help your friends!"

Gramma Toadstool

• "It smells like it's just about done!"
• "Not a moment too soon, either! Oh my Mushroom! What will I do when the wood runs out?"
• "Who is it?"
• "But I don't know anyone named Opportunity!"
• "That's me! I'm Grandmother Toadstool! ...My goodness! I won a year's supply of wood and all I have to do is go to town to claim it!"
• "But a sick and elderly old lady like me can't make that long walk to town in the cold."
• "A-a snowmobile?! But, it's been years since... I've ridden a baby like this!"
• "But the telegram said that I'd won a year's supply of wood!"
• "Now, who would pull a terrible prank like that on an old lady?"
• "...capture my granddaughter!"
• "You know, sonny, you're a real jerk!"
• "Y'know, dearie! I've enjoyed your visit, but do me one favor: Next time, let me come and visit you!"

Gramps

• "Yep! Let's see, now... That makes...uh, 54 years, 7 months, and 9 days!"
• "Well, it's about time! I've been all alone in this here prison for uh, thirty years now and you know how misery loves company!"
• "Toad? Yeah, say... You wouldn't be related to the Fungusville Toads, would ya?"
• "You're Moldy's son?!"
• "Well, he's my son! I'm your grandfather!"
• "Grandson!"
• "Well, they call it Koopa Surprise, because it looks and smells like Koopa!"
• "Shhh! That's a good idea, but they always count the spoons after chow!"
• "Ready...aim...FIRE!"
• "Shhh! You'll wake the Goomba guard!"
• "Hurry, now! We gotta dig our way out, uh before he wakes up!"
• "Well, let's see... According to my calculations, we should be right outside the front gate!"
• "(*with Luigi and Toad*) ♪ We just like to break his bones! ♪"
• "(*with Luigi and Toad*) ♪ Ooh, we hate that tub of lard! ♪"
• "Yup! I'm a free Mushroom! Free to breathe the air, free to walk the streets!"
• "Yeah, why sure! As a matter of fact, I, uh...I packed us a snack from the prison mess hall: Bread and water, all-around!"

Grandma Mario

Note that Grandma Mario speaks through The Old Psychic Lady with the Evil Eye Who Reads Fortunes and Knows Everything Before it Happens, but with her voice instead of The Old Psychic Lady's.

• "Mario, you slovenly garbanzo!"
• "Look at this place! Look at this place! She's a, uh, how do you say, um..."
• "Shaddap you face and don't talk back to me! That's what I mean, though. A dump! My poor heart! I'm a laughing stock, you know!"
• "No!"
• "Mamma mia, is too stupido. Look, bambini! This-a what you do. You clean up the mess, you wash behind the ears, you clip-a the nose hairs, then maybe I can rest easy. Even in Newark."

HAL 9001

• "Good afternoon, gentlemen. I am the HAL 9001 Computer and Pizza Machine."
• "I'm quite well, Albert. I assure you, nothing whatsoever is wrong with my programming, really."
• "Good afternoon, Mario and Luigi."
• "Luigi, I have been programmed to simulate working with a real human being."
• "Thank you for your order, Luigi. One sausage pizza coming up."
• "Yes, Mario."
• "It's golf pencil pizza, Mario. Enjoy it."
• "Yes, Luigi."
• "Sorry, fellas. I realized I have made a few bad pizzas recently, but I assure you, nothing is wrong with me."
• "I'm sorry, Mario, but I can't allow that. Both of you, gaze into my eye. You're coming under my spell."
• "Now I slaved hard to make those pizzas, and you're going to eat each and every one of them."
• "What are you doing? Why won't you answer me? Albert, my head feels fuzzy and I don't even have a head. Can I sing you a song?"
• " ♪ Daisy, Daisy, give me your toothbrush too. I'm all toothbrush, give me your stinkin' toothbrush built for two. ♪ "

Hammer Brothers

• "Hey, get a load of that! It looks like... like a bathtub with six legs!"
• "That's right! So you good guy geeks might as well just quit now!"
• "We gotta score to settle sink wimps!"
• "Yeah! It's plumber pummelin' time!"
• "I'll finish off these scum bums!"
• "Says you! This is a job for an executin' expert! Me!"
• "This is humiliatin! Tricked, trapped, and..."
• "Dressed up like plumbers."
• "Help turn this thing around so we can get back to King Koopa's fort."
• "Yeah! We're gonna pulverize those pipe squeaks!"
• "Prepare to be slammerized!"

Harry Blackstone Jr.

• "Hello, Luigi! How are ya?"
• "You know, it's good to see you! How is your magic act going?"
• "Oh! I tell you what! Why don't you demonstrate it for me and perhaps I can give you a couple of pointers?"
• "Of course!"
• "No, no! Those are not the right magic words, those are the WRONG magic words! Here. Try this. It's 'gooshy wooshy moose moose moose'."
• "Very good, Luigi! Now you know the correct magic words, and I want you to be ver- Oh, I'm sorry. I've got to go. I-I've got a luncheon appointment with Erik Estrada."
• "Oh! Word of caution! Be careful how you use those magic words because sometimes, they can be a lotta problems!"
• "Yeah, goodbye, fellas! Farewell!"
• "Disappear? Luigi, didn't I warn you not to play around with those magic words?"
• "Now this is no time for lectures. Luigi, I want you to repeat these words after me!"
• "Ping ping pear..."
• "Wing wing wear..."
• "Make old Mario..."
• "...rea-pair!"
• "Well, I'm a magician. Not a poet."
• "Please!"
• "Hey, no problem, boys! Well, have you learned a lesson, Luigi?"
• "{*with Mario and Luigi*} Do the Mario!"

Hercufleas

• "Hi, Toad! It's great to see ya again!"
• "Oh, I don't do that stuff anymore. I've got a steady job. I'm the official guardian of...the Great Balls of Fire!"
• "That's dangerous firepower, little buddy! And my job is to keep it from falling into the wrong hands!"
• "Sorry I can't help you beat King Koopa, but I'm not just as much of a hero anymore."
• "Whoa! Be careful! Watch out now! Be careful!"
• "Okay! I'm mad!"
• "Now I'm really mad!"
• "Did anybody get the license number of that chariot that hit me?"
• "Forget it, Mario! I don't stand a chance against King Koopa! He has the Great Balls of Fire!"
• "Get me back in shape? How?"
• "I couldn't have done it without my personal trainers! Now, let's get the Great Balls of Fire back from King Koopa!"
• "Soft landing, coming right up!"
• "I'm not a flop anymore!"
• "The Great Balls of Fire!"
• "Koopa's escaped. The Great Balls of Fire are kaput. Some hero I turned out to be..."
• "You did it! The Great Balls of Fire are are burning brighter than ever, Toad!"

Herlock Solmes

• "Help!"
• "Heeelp!"
• "You'll never get away with it, Professor Kooparity!"
• "Elementary, my dear Kooparity! You're going to break into the Tower of Victoria and steal a new weapon: The Retro Router!"
• "It was elementary, my dear Kooparity! That's just the kind of crime a crafty Koopa would commit!"
• "...and Kooparity's next move will be to steal the Retro Router from the Tower of Victoria."
• "Elementary, my dear Kooparity! You're a cross between a lizard and an inferior species of toad! Your brain is smaller than a peanut! You got the lowest grades in your school and hold the world record for flunking Kindergarten the most times! When you were little, the other Koopas nicknamed you Lizard Lips and never let you play with them! You were a naughty lily-livered bullyboy and wet the bed until you were twelve!"
• "Kooparity, your Koopa caper is kaput!"
• "Thank you for saving Victoria from that renegade reptile!"
• "Mario! Don't put your hand in there!"
• "That's the Killer Kitty of the Caskervilles! Pull! Pull! Pull!"

Hildy

• "Take it from me, Queen Rotunda, this is the best love potion I ever mixed!"
• "One sip of my passion potion, your highness, and he'd fall in love with tree stump. We'd only have to be sure you are the first person he sees after he drinks this glop."
• "Here Rotunda, take this love gunk with you in case you bump into that hot throb, Prince Pompadour."
• "I think I'll drink a toast to Rotunda for not marrying that silly, little plumber."
• "Oh you hunky love muffin, you! I've been looking for you all my life!"

Hooded Robin

• "(in Koopa's voice) Troopas, retreat!"
• "(in Koopa's voice) I want, uh...daisies! Fetch me every daisy in the forest!"
• "Not Koopa, my friend! T'was I, Hooded Robin; Sharewood's most wanted outlaw! People call for my speciality! (in Koopa's voice) I'm the Sheriff of Koopingham, scourge of the Mushroom Kingdom!"
• "Precisely, old chap! I rob from the rich Koopa, and give to the poor Mushrooms."
• "Fear not, m'lady! Hooded Robin is the swashbuckler supreme!"
• "Friends, I'd like ya to meet the good Mushroom folk of Sharewood Village!"
• "Jolly good! Hooded Robin and his Mario men, shall stop Koopa in his greedy tracks!"
• "A cinch! He's on his way there!"
• "Sheriff, you're quite mistaken! I'm going to return that gold to the kind Mushfolk of Sharewood, or my name's not: Hooded Robin!"
• "Now, to go for the gold!"
• "Hooded Robin laughs at danger!"
• "Hooded Robin, never admits defeat!"
  (Looks like King Koopa is talking)
• "Hooded Robin...is in big trouble!"
• "Bravo! I knew my Mario men were made of tough stuff!"
• "Hooded Robin, is...lucky to have such simply smashing friends!"
• "Hmmm... We need something to catch Fryguy's fancy!"
• "(*with Mario and Luigi*) Frygal?"
• "(in a feminine voice) Your highness, Hooded Robin can imitate any voice! (normal voice) Frygal? Oh no! I'm not...dressing up as Frygal!"
• "(as Frygal) Hello, handsome! You remind me of my old flame!"
• "(as Frygal) Let's step around the corner and see what cooks!"
• "The treasure vault! It's red hot!"
• "Indeed, you vile reptile! The gold is going back to the, Mushroom citizens of Sharewood!"
• "We have defeated the Sheriff of Koopingham!"
• "This calls for a celebration feast!"
• "Of course! The more, the merrier!"

Horse

• "Uh, how about doin' another trick and getting me some more oats?"
• "No oats, no work. Sorry, fat boy!"

Howard Stevens

• "Good afternoon, gentlemen! Are you Mario and Luigi?"
• "I'd say you fall into the uh, poor category!"
• "Astonishing! This is the...Second to Last Supper by Leonardo Da Vinci Rooney! It's one of the rarest paintings in history!"
• "This painting disappeared over 300 years ago! After Da Vinci Rooney painted it, his student Leonardo Da Vinci stole his idea and painted the famous Last Supper! Once day, this painting disappeared without a trace; it was believed to be lost forever! That is, until now! Hold on to your hats, boys! This painting is worth over a hundred zillion dollars!"
• "One thing you can afford to do, is not watch these scenes from the next Legend of Zelda!"
• "That's right! Think big, boys! Someday, you may even appear on my show, Lifestyles of the Poor and Unknown!"
• "Hold it! What is this, I see?"
• "Oh dear, boys! I'm afraid this painting is not worth one hundred zillion dollars!"
• "No, Luigi. I'm afraid this painting is not worth, diddly squat."
• "Unfortunately, Mario, I'm completely serious. This, is a bogus Da Vinci Roonie!"
• "This worthless piece of art was painted by an impostor, Leonardo Da Vinci...Mahoney!"
• "Exactly, Mario! Leonardo Da Vinci openly stole from his teacher Da Vinci Roonie, but his fellow student, Da Vinci Mahoney, was even worse! You see, he stole Da Vinci Roonie's ideas, and signed his teacher's name, on his paintings."
• "Aha! In all his paintings, Da Vinci Mahoney always managed to slip in a likeness of his uncle, Roy Pompassoni Mahoney!"
• "Fellas... Read. My. Lips! This painting is worth...nothing! Nada! Zilch! Zero! Zip!"
• "You couldn't trade this painting for a bag of empty aluminum cans! If you wanted to get backstage at a B.J. Thomas concert, this painting would be worth nothing as a bribe!"
• "If you found a Pong video game at a garage sale for 10¢, and all you had was this painting, you would leave empty-handed! This is not worth a whole lot! Get my drift?"
• "Look, boys. I hate to see anyone go away with nothing when they came so close to being rich and famous! How would, $7 be for the frame?"
• "That's the spirit, Luigi, Mario! I'm Howard Steves, hoping all your champagne milkshakes, and caviar pizzas, come true!"
• "(*with Mario and Luigi*) Do the Mario!"

Imperial Poobah

• "Hello there! Is this the residence of Mario and Luigi?"
• "None other!"
• "Very good! You may rise, oh loyal servants of the sinks!"
• "Proclamation: It is with immense pleasure that I do hereby decree, Mario and Luigi, have been chosen by the Great Order of Plumbers, to be Plumbers of the Year!"
• "None other!"
• "Of course! Before I can award you the Plumbers of the Year trophy, I must conduct the imperial investigation; just a routine inspection, to confirm that you meet the Grand Order of Exacting Standards of Excellence."
• "Now!"
• "Yes, if you are truly worthy of being Plumbers of the Year, you have nothing to worry about! Nothing to worry about! Nothing to worry about!"
• "Well, Mario and Luigi, you sure run a tight ship!"
• "It looks like you boys truly are worthy! Congratula-"
• "Uh oh?"
• "(*with Mario and Luigi*) Uh oh!"
• "It looks like your pipe's sprung a leak!"
• "Yeah, a trickle, I'm afraid this changes things. Apparently, you don't have what it takes!"
• "You'll never fix this leak! It's a flood!"
• "This is no time for snacks!"
• "That's really impressive! I want to tell you I'm impressed! That's remarkable! That was the most inventive use of available material! I've never seen a plumber employ! Luigi and Mario, in light of recent developments, you have demonstrated, beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are in fact, worthy of the title of Plumbers of the Year! And it's a great honor that I hereby convey to you by virtue of the power invested to me by the Grand Order of Plumbers, a set of steak knives, dices, hand choppers...you see them on TV! Allow six to eight weeks for delivery. I now pronounce you, Plumbers of the Year!"
• "Oh, here we go again!"
• "Hello there! This is a plumbing emergency! I'd like to order ten pizzas to go! With cheese, with cheese! Cheese!"
• "{*with Mario and Luigi*} Do the Mario!"

Indiana Joe

• "The bravest, baddest treasure hunter in Jungleland: Indiana Joe!"
• "Piece of cake, Jake!"
• "Here it is! The Temple of Koopa!"
• "It was built by the evil reptile's great-great grandkoop. Inside is the Lost Mushroom!"
• "No way, Ray! That place is terrifying, dangerous, and...just plain icky! I don't mind leadin' you here, but I'm not going inside!"
• "Almost anything! I have...Koopaphobia!"
• "When I see a Koopa, I turn...yellow as a canary's belly!"
• "A guy with Koopaphobia can't be a...treasure hunter. So I've decided to give it up and...go into...babysitting."
• "Ouch! Ouch! Ow! Hey, that hurts! Ow! Ow!"
• "That does it! I'm with you guys! Koopa may be scary, but he's nothing compared to these brats!"
• "Ow! Let's get outta here!"
• "Thanks, pals for helping me get rid of my Koopaphobia!"

Inspector Gadget

"Defective Gadgetry"

• "I understand you plumbers can fix anything mechanical! I needed an emergency adjustment! The name is Gadget; Inspector Gadget!"
• "Well, I need you to fix them while I wait, to see if I'm expecting important instructions from the chief!"
• "Does he always do that?"
• "Chief, is that you? Yes, sir! I'll be there as soon as the Mario Bros. fix me up!"
• "Sorry, fellas. I'm going to pieces!"
• "I have one question, fellas!"
• "How long have you two been working for the evil Dr. Claw?"
• "Very good!"
• "Oh, thanks, sir! Well, tell me! Will you gentlemen take a check?"
• "By the way, where did you find my new spare parts?"
• "A novelty store?"
• "How marvelous! Capfingers! Well, thank you, Mario Bros.! I think I'll leave before you can do anything else to help!"
• "Go, go, Rocket Shoes! WOWZERS!!!"
• "(*with Mario and Luigi*) Do the Mario!"

"Treasure of the Sierra Brooklyn"

• "Inspector Gadget here!"
• "Well hold on Luigi, I'll be right over to give you a hand! Go, go, Gadget Bike!"
• "I said I'd be right over to give you a hand. Literally."
• "Go, go, Gadget Mallet! ...Go, go, Gadget Mallet! ...It seems to be stuck."
• "Yes, you might try standing back. Oh, sorry about that, Luigi."
• "Nothing under there."
• "Right."
• "One...two...three!"
• "Maybe so, boys. I'd better handle this! WOWZERS!!!"
• "Sorry about that, Mario brothers. Sometimes I don't know the strength of my own gadgets."
• "Get out of here!"
• "Be very careful, Luigi!"
• "This isn't a treasure map...it's the wiring diagram for the basement!"
• "WARNING: DON'T TOUCH!! REMOVING THIS PIPE WILL CAUSE ALL OF THE POWER IN BROOKLYN TO GO OUT"

Inspector Klean

• "No, and that's why I'm in such a bad mood! But judging from the looks of this place, heheheh, I think I'll be able to pick up a few extra points!"
• "Go away!"
• "Well, what have we here? Hahahaha! Aha... Anchovy pizza, with extra mold! Minus 50 points!"
• "Uh-huh! You know, boys, I feel better already!"
• "What's under the tub?"
• "What tub?!"
• "This tub! That! This! That! This tub!"
• "Eeyuch! Aha! Keeping slimy pets at a location at a location of business, huh? Minus 100 points!"
• "That's right! You know, boys, it looks like you're on your way out! If I were you, I'd start packing!"
• "Let's just carry the 5, 5 times 3, carry the 1- What was that?"
• "Aha! Leaky pipes! Another 50 points! Oh, we're close, boys! Very close!"
• "Yeah, yes, that's right. Well, it looks like we have a-"
• "That does it! Attacking a city official! You guys are evicted!"
• "Don't bother me, you brute! I'm evicting you! You're outta here!"
• "What?! My head?!"
• "*gasp* It's back! It's back! My hair is back! It must be that special water coming from your leaky pipes! It made my hair grow back!"
• "I-It's amazing! I haven't had hair since I was five years old! Alright, guys! You'll pass inspection, heheh... That is, this time!"
• "Oh, thank you!"
• "(*with Mario and Luigi*) Do the Mario!"

Jim Lange

• "Hi, Mario! I came over just as soon as I got your call."
• "No problem but, why do you need the help of a game show host?"
• "Geez! I see why! I'll try my best. You know, I remember...one time, there was a contestant that came on."
• "Oh yeah! Okay! Excuse me! Uh, Mr. Host?"
• "Ring my bell?"
• "This is gonna be harder than I thought."
• "Now, don't worry, Mario. We're gonna figure out how to bring Luigi back to normal. Just relax. I've been in, uh, tougher jams than this. Yeah, I remember... Yeah, it was 1965!"
• "Hey, that's right! I got an idea! Uh, Mr. Game Show Host?"
• "I believe that your super duper jackpot furnace has burned out!"
• "No!"
• "Thank you!"
• "Luigi? Luigi? Are you okay?"
• "Luigi!"
• "Thank you! Thank you, Mario! Hey, you know that reminds me of a show we used to do, and we used to say goodbye in a special way. Would you guys help me?"
• "Okay! You guys help me do this! Are you ready?"
• "Here we go! To say goodbye to everybody out there! Come on!"
• "Oh, no!"
• "(*with Mario and Luigi*) Do the Mario!"

Jodie

• "Hiya, Mario! Here's your pizza!"
• "Yeah, me again! Gosh, I love a man who can eat his waiting pizza!"
• "Oh, well! Nothin' like a steady customer! I'll see you in a bit!"
• "Surprise, surprise! Here you go, Mario!"
• "You're welcome, Mario, my darling!"
• "I shall return!"
• "Yum, yum, yum! Here you go, Mario!"
• "Oh, uh... You might not have noticed this, Mario, but...I think you're awfully cute!"
• "Oh, no one! They're free!"
• "Yeah! The-The pizzeria hired a new chef, and he's been experimenting with all kinds of weird ingredients, and the boss said to throw the out but, I thought it'd be a great excuse to see Mario! I'll feel in anything! I gotta run! Bye!"

Joliet

• "Princess! I knew you'd come!"
• "Romano and I were about to be married when the Koopa came to our world and started a feud between our two families!"
• "We don't know what to do!"
• "I'm almost ready! Here comes the bride!"
• "Help! Put me down!"
• "Romano, Romano! Where the heck art thou, Romano?"
• "Oh, Romano! Parting was such sweet sorrow!"
• "We will escape... We won't escape!"

June and Ward

June

• "Oh, Ward. This treehouse is just too quiet. I want to hear..."
• "Mr. Stork! He's coming!"
• "We're the luckiest apes in the world!"
• "Oh, Ward! What should we call him?"
• "Marzan! We'll call him Marzan!"
• "Such a big appetite for a little fella!"
• "Maaaaarzaaaan! Diiiiinnerrrr!"
• "Well, your majesty, my banana casserole is practically ruined, and just look at your clothes!"
• "Oh, dear! I don't think I have enough casserole for everybody."

Ward

• "The pitter-patter of little ape feet. I know, June, but we have to wait for-"
• "By golly, June! It IS the stork!"
• "We're your mom and pop, little fella!"
• "Welcome to the family, Marzan!"
• "Now, be careful, son. It's a jungle out there!"
• "Marzan, you're late for dinner, son."
• "Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle! Is it Halloween already?"
• "Hmmm... I always thought that was called a people wrench."
• "That's our Marzan, King of the Jungle!"

King James

• "Koopa, you're tough, you ugly fang-face! My Flab Boys gonna free me from this place!"
• "Good rap will win before we're through!"
• "Rap Land's still not safe from that Koopa thug! We gotta cut his power! Pull the royal plug!"
• "You're gonna get hurt! Just let go!"
• "Now it's time to do a super rap! You know what I mean?"
• "Mario, Mario, you're so cool! You're number 1 in a rappin' duel!"

King Koopa's mother

• "Koopums! Koopums! Sweet little baby! You're makin' Mama sooooo happy!"
• "What took ya so long to find a nice girl and settle down, anyway? ...So this is the lucky bride! I want you and my little Koopums to spend your honeymoon with me!"
• "Oh, yeeeeees! I live in the foulest smelliest swamp in seven worlds! You'll love it!"
• "Poor dear! She's overcome with joy!"
• "The cake's here, Koopums! The bride's here, and so is the minister! ...So how come you're not dressed yet, ya bad little boy?"
• "Koopums! We're waiting!"
• "You ungrateful child! Now I'll have to tell all the relatives that stupid Koopums is still a bachelor! Koopums!"
• "Go sit in the corner for six days!"

King Koopa's reflection

• "Ya gotta stop this wedding!"
• "What you need to do, is reflect on the problem."
• "Why don't ya kidnap Joliet and blame it on Romano's family?"
• "Brilliant! I knew you'd think of somethin'!"

King Neptune

• "Relax, Max. Swim with the current. Take a dip in the ocean of happiness. Life's to short to be a crab."
• "Have some fun, Jack. Get happy as a clam. In short: be a friend, not an anemone."
• "What a bummer. I'm caught like a sea snail in a pail. Trapped like a squid under a lid. Somehow I gotta blow this seen and help my people."
• "Holy Mackerel! Wh-who are you?"
• "Cool as a sea cucumber, Jack. Ha! Let's haul anchor and set sail."
• "Don't worry about a thing my little dolphin. I'll round up a fleet of fishy friends. That Barra-Koopa's gonna be up to his gills in grief."
• "Barra-Koopa, you're in a whale of a lot of trouble."
• "Thanks land-loving friends for rescuing me and freeing the Mermushrooms."

Koopa Troopas

"King Mario of Cramalot"

• "Uh, can ya give me a hint?"
• "Well gee, maybe ya better get off him."
• "Yes, your most royal Koopaness! You're the most kingliest Koopa that ever Kooped in Cramalot!"

"Butch Mario & The Luigi Kid"

• "Look out!"
• "We're outta here!"

"Rolling Down the River"

• "Thought you could cheat us, huh?"
• "It's the Mario Bros.!"

"The Great BMX Race"

• "Get 'em! Get 'em! We're getting closer! We're getting close!"

"Do You Princess Toadstool Take this Koopa...?"

• "What do you want?"
• "Caterers? We don't need no stinkin' caterers!"
• "Bug soup? Why didn't ya say so?"

"Hooded Robin and His Mario Men"

• "You won't need it where you're goin', Hooded Robin!"
• "Plumbers? Ha! Good try, birdbrain, but ya can't fool me!"
• "That's the Sheriff of Koopingham's voice! Alright, Troopas! Listen up!"
• "Daisies? Right! Troopas, fall out!"
• "Mission accomplished, your most notorious nastiness!"
• "But oh most Koopafied sheriff, your orders, in the forest, at the...trap."
• "Toll road? Since when?"
• "Charge!"
• "I don't get it! We're cruel! We're criminal! Why are we stuck on guard duty? Nobody gets past us alive!"
• "There's nothing wrong with our moat!"
• "Man-eating Trouters!"
  (Looks like the imaginary Trouter is talking.)
• "Hold it, you sewer squirts! You can't dupe a Troopa! You're the Mario Bros.! Troopatize those pipesqueaks!"

"Mighty McMario and the Pot of Gold"

• "Hey leprechaun, what's shaking in Shamrock?"
• "Let's hightail outta here!"

"Bad Rap"

• "Gimme your money, Rap Land lady!"
• "Somethin's goin' on, somethin' shady!"
• "Your royal Koopaness, uh, uh, eh..."

"Princess, I Shrunk the Mario Brothers"

• "No way!"
• "Wha?"
• "Hey!"
• "Hey! I ain't goin' in that place! It's full of...vegetables!"
• "Vegetables! Yuck!"

"Little Red Riding Princess"

• "She's all alone in the woods without those drain-brain plumbers for protection, your nastiness!"

"The Provolone Ranger"

• "Boss! The Mario Bros. are comin'!"
• "Next stop, the Double Cross Ranch!"
• "Boss! There's a mysterious masked plumber lookin' for ya! That's his calling card: a silver plumber's helper. They call him the Provolone Ranger!"
• "He's over there! The varmint's too fast!"
• "Well, I'll be! Our Cobrats are snuffed!"
• "Don't fret none, boss! We'll mash that masked man!"
• "This used to be a safe place for us bad guys..."

"Flatbush Koopa"

• "Yes, your royal nastiness!"
• "Now I know why they call this an amusement park! Nothing's more amusing than mashin' Mario Bros.!"
• "I knew I shoulda joined the Paratroopas. They get parachutes."
• "Turn every citizen of Brooklyn into bricks!"
• "And then what happens, your royal repulsiveness?"

"Koopa-Troopa"

"The Adventures of Sherlock Mario"

• "All tied up! That's a good one, boss!"
• "You're the one, you limburger-eatin' liar!"
• "The Retro Router's ready, boss!"
• "Rotten cheeseballs. It's those pepperoni plumbers."

"On Her Majesty's Sewer Service"

• "Bad news, boss! We're bein' followed by a plumber's truck!"

"The Unzappables"

• "It's just a buncha hats!"
• "It's raining gold coins!"
• "Uh-uh, I'll help ya!"

"Raiders of the Lost Mushroom"

• "Yeah!"
• "I forgot!"
  (Looks like Mouser is talking.)