List of Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story + Bowser Jr.'s Journey quotes

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This is a list of quotes from the game Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story + Bowser Jr.'s Journey. For quotes from the original, see here.

Beef

• "Health!"
• "Get bouncy and smooth hair!"
• "That's right, you can have all of these and more when you sign up with..."
• "Best Fitness Friends!"
• "I'M BEEF!"
• "YOU TELL 'EM KALEY!"
• "WHAT SHE SAID!"
• "I'll finish you."
• "GRR! I'LL CRUSH YA!"

Best Fitness Friends (Merged form)

• "PEAK FITNESS ACHIEVED! I WILL DESTROY YOU ALL!"
• "HAND IT OVER!"
• "EAT WIND LOSERS!"
• "More Malatone Formula:X... Yes... Let it flow... muhahaha!"
• "MMM! WE'RE GETTING STRONGER!"

Birdley

• "FYI! FYI!"
• "There's a conference on blorb prevention happening right now at Peach's Castle."
• "All of the most important leaders have been invited."
• "...Except for you, of course. Hoo boy."

Bowser

• "What now? I don't have time for this!"
• "Pfft."
• "Ah, Junior. Found a new toy, huh?"
• "Kamek! Tell me you didn't work yourself into a frenzy over THAT."
• "Son, I'm kind of in the middle of something..."
• "Wait, what IS that?"
• "Who did this to one of my Goombas?!"
• "Hey, blorb! Watch where you're rolling! You're gonna mess up my decorative barrels!"
• "Wait...this is your job, Kamek. Protect my barrels!"
• "Hey! Nobody holds an important conference without Bowser!"
• "GWAAARGH!"
• "Hmm..."
• "Kamek! Get your quivering hump over to Peach's Castle right away!"
• "Rotten, lousy conference-planning jerks... They know how much I like a continental breakfast!"
• "This is completely unforgivable."

Bowser Jr.

• "Whoa!"
• "Hey, Dad! Check it out!"
• "Didn't you hear me? We go until I win ten times!"
• "I need six more wins!"
• "Alright, goombs! Bring it on!"
• "I just need to keep crashing into them to win, right?"
• "Like, just knock that guy in the back, yeah?"
• "Pfft. It's almost too easy!"
• "You ready for this?"
• "I call that attack the Whomping Wallop. It really packs...something, doesn't it?"
• "Boooom! How about that? Did ya like that?"
• "Chalk one up for Junior! Let's do it again!"
• "Now I just need seven more wins!"
• "What's that, goombie? Less talk, more fight!"
• "Bowser Jr. wins again!"
• "Eight more and it's all over!"
• "(I could totally do a better job than those clowns...)"
• "(I'm gonna get this done myself. Dad would love that!)"
• "Guys! Your plan is garbage. I have a better one!"
• "(Wait till I see what I've got in mind...)"
• "Mechakoopa! My precious!"
• "Fly! Fly now!"
• "I'm gonna make that Skeletone... ♪ And dad's gonna know I'm on my own! ♪"
• "Oh, it's you! You wanna tussle again?"
• "Ha ha!"
• "What's that supposed to mean? I'll stomp ya!"
• "Like those Goombas are gonna knock me out. Please!"
• "That sounds boring! I'll take 'em all out!"
• "Whoa, check out that '!' over my Mechakoopa's head!"
• "Bahaha! That was great."
• "I guess that '!' meant he was about to do an awesome attack."
• "Ugh, what am I yapping about? I sound like Ludwig. Back to fighting!"
• "...This army isn't big enough. I need to step it up!"
• "Now that's more like it. Chaaaarge!"
• "Whoa, what's happening?"
• "Sweet!"
• "Duh! My Mechakoopas are the best!"
• "Yes! Crushed it. Let's keep going!"
• "What?! I'm the best! Of course I'm ready!"
• "I said I got it! Yeesh!"
• "LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"
• "Bring it on!"
• "What's that about turnips?"
• "Are you finally done talking? Come and get me!"
• "Yo! Ludwig!"
• "Why are you so boring? You're messing up a perfectly good fight with all your yapping!"
• "You're doing it again! Shut up!"
• "I've got plenty of spirit. Dad always says so!"
• "I'll fight you if you keep trying to teach me how to fight!"
• "In other words... LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"
• "You're STILL talking?!"
• "Did you say something?"
• "Finally!"
• "What's up, big guy? You wanna say something?"
• "Whoa! You're a big fan of the START button. I get it."
• "Uh...so, is that it?"
• "All right, buddy."
• "Whoa! What's the big idea, sneaking up on me like that?"
• "Is that a drumstick? Gimme, gimme!"
• "Wait a second..."
• "Where have you been keeping that thing?"
• "Ah, who cares. Food is food!"
• "Hold on. This is all burnt! What'd you do to it?"
• "OK, bug guy. I'll, uh, eat it later..."
• "All right, it's MY turn to brag about stuff."
• "Captain Command! Open the panel!"
• "When you see the '!', tap the icon below, or press up on the +Control Pad to use Deny!"
• "Haha! DENIED! It's so satisfying."
• "Wait, did that use up some of my CP? But those are MY Captain Points!"
• "Bah, using Deny only cost one point. I guess I'll have to keep an eye on it..."
• "Dude, have you been paying attention? I'm crushing it! I don't need your help."
• "Ugh... If you insist. But make it quick!"
• "Duh."
• "Duh. Duh, duh, duh."
• "Duh."
• "Duh, duh."
• "DUH!"
• "Oh. you finally shut up!"
• "Did you not hear me? DUH! I got it all!"
• "Ha! Larry..."
• "You actually thought you could beat me? Bwahaha!"

Captain Boo

• "Lord Junior! Us Boos are ready and waiting!"

Captain Goomba

• "Lord Junior... Must we keep at this?"
• "My squad has of Goomba training to do. I don't wish to upset your father. Again."
• "Oh...right. As you wish, milord."
• "Wait... Why is the number going up instead of down?"
• "Please... No more..."
• "Lord Junior...I hate to bring this up, but your math seems to be off..."
• "Sir, yes, sir! I have the minions in position, locked and loaded."
• "SIR, YES, SIR!"
• "Lord Junior... Please understand that I'm only following orders here..."

Captain Koopa Troopa

• "Lord Junior! I have an urgent update. I...I've given up rhyming. I'm all about jokes now!"
• "OK, here goes..."
• "Bowser walks into a café and orders a coffee. The barista asks for his name."
• "Bowser says "Bowser," of course, but then the barista starts bowing!"
• "Bowser's like, "What are you doing?" and the barista says, "You told me to bow, sir.""
• "Get it?!"
• "Bow! Sir! Bowser?!"
• "I'm pretty new to this comedy thing, but it's really working for me so far."
• "They say you just have to be brave and put yourself out there."
• "So...did you get it? Bow? Sir! Heh..."
• "It's a play on a word... Hope it wasn't absurd..."

Captain Shy Guy

• "You got past Cap? Guess it's my turn."

Dieter

• "Your wish is our command, Lord Fawful."
• "...Understood."
• "And a personal enrichment system known as Perfect You!"
• "Muscles that quiver like whippets!"
• "That's right, you can have all of these and more when you sign up with..."
• "Best Fitness Friends!"
• "I'm happy to report that everything is..."
• "Groovy."
• "Yes. yes... I always knew it would come to this."
• "The fates have aligned to bring us together here..."
• "Let me ask you a question, son of Bowser..."
• "Are you and your minions... evil?"
• "But you are forever kidnapping Princess Peach and inconveniencing that plumber..."
• "Only a monster would inconvenience a plumber! So what does that make you?"
• "No more help! Son of Bowser, what is your answer?"
• "It's a simple question. Are Bowser's minions evil?"
• "Well, that was unexpected..."
• "Too bad it was all meaningless drivel!"
• "I am here to play games with your lives."
• "So, you meet the real Leana. She's not so friendly, this one."

Fawful

• "Oh, breakfast boy is having the cravings again! He is simple like butter sandwich."
• "Great news I am hearing! And you will join me in the completion of this plan to its utmost completing!"
• "Now where are the loud and muscle-having ones?"
• "Dieter! Beef! Kaley!"
• "Come and share in the chortles with Fawful!"
• "Leave the capturing of Bowser to us!"
• "Yes! Fawful's wishes are the gold coins in your tattered thrift-store pants!"
• "You must never be forgetting about them!"

Goombas

• "OK, Goomba Squad! Soooound off!"
• "Present!"
• "PRSHNT...URGHHHH..."
• "Whoa!"
• "Ulp!"
• "Ohhhh...what's happening?"

Kaley

• "Leave it to the Best Fitness Friends!"
• "Hello? Is anyone here?"
• "Hello, there! My name's Kaley. And...HOW FIT DO YOU FEEL?"
• "Oh, it's your lucky day!"
• "By virtue of simply being here, you have earned a FREE SEMINAR!"
• "We're here to talk about..."
• "Beauty!"
• "Teeth that don't fall out!"
• "That's right, you can have all of these and more when you sign up with..."
• "Best Fitness Friends!"
• "We even brought samples!"
• "Or BFF for short! Heehee!"
• "Aww, I'm sorry to hear you don't have time for personal fitness. I guess we'll be on our way!"
• "My goodness! I'm glad you reconsidered our products."
• "Now, for a case like this... I'd recommend..."
• "Skeletone Formula :D!"
• "Yowza!"
• "You see! Skeletone Formula :D! It's the only product on the market that actually tones your skeleton!"
• "Oh, well I'd be extremely grateful for the business..."
• "...if I had any more Skeletone to sell you."
• "I'm afraid that I only brought a trial sized portion with me today."
• "Now, now! There's no need to get upset."
• "After all I can sell you something much better than the product itself."
• "I can sell you the recipe!"
• "Dieter! Status report!"

Kamek

• "Lord Bowser!"
• "There's a large ball of trouble rolling our way. I'm freaking out!"
• "Oh, I'm too late..."
• "It's headed straight for you, milord!"
• "...Would we call it a frenzy?"
• "All right, I'm working on a theory..."
• "That overlarge Goomba may have been afflicted with a condition known as, 'the blorbs.'"
• "But, Master..."
• "No one knows what causes the blorbs or how to remedy the condition."
• "Yes, Your Robustness..."
• "I'll see if there have been any developments in de-blorbing..."

Bowser's Minions

• "Oh no!"
• "The cannon seems to be jammed. Gadzooks! It's filled with Goombas!"
• "OWWW!"
• "Nooooooo! The Goombas knocked over the Whomps like dominoes. Oh, the Goomanity!"
• "Ahhh! We're gonna get crushed!"

Larry Koopa

• "Oh...great."
• "All right, Ludwig said it's my turn. Are you paying attention?"
• "I am going to show you how to swap out squad members."
• "It looks like we'll be taking on some flying enemies."
• "So, you know, we should make sure our squad can handle them!"
• "Start by opening the Formation menu."
• "This is where you can swap troopers in and out of your squad."
• "So, like I said, since we'll be up against some flying troopers..."
• "It'd make sense to add some ranged troopers of our own."
• "How about that Shy Guy? Move the cursor and press ."
• "So you can deploy up to nine troopers at once, including yourself."
• "Oh, it looks like this squad's already full..."
• "Well, let's swap in a Shy Guy for one of those Goombas."
• "Once you've placed the Shy Guy over one of the Goombas, all you have to do is press ."
• "Boom! Now you've got a ranged unit to fight back against those Boos."
• "Now, if you want to put one of the troopers in your squad back on the bench..."
• "Just select one, and press ."
• "Got all that? Try messing around with some different combos—all battles are different!"
• "Oh! I almost forgot!"
• "You can also move your units around to make a new formation!"
• "Start by pressing ."
• "See these charts? They show how your enemies will be lining up."
• "So, remember how we put that Shy Guy on the front line?"
• "He's gonna run smack into these guys right away. And he's not that kind of fighter!"
• "So, select the Shy Guy using , and then move him to the back line."
• "Great! Now your formation is optimized for this battle. Using the right units...in the right way...is super important."
• "So remember to check and see how your enemies are lining up..."
• "And then set your units so they're at an advantage!"
• "Oh, man...I haven't gotten into formation bonuses yet..."
• "Eh...Ludwig can tell you all about that. Just try different things!"
• "Anyways, once you're all set, press to go back and start the battle."
• "How's this working out for you? Pretty good?"
• "Why don't you let me try a different approach?"
• "Already forgotten! Hahah!"
• "Ugh...he's annoyingly strong."

Lemmy Koopa

• "I'll just, uh...stay here, I guess. You know, hold down the fort."
• "What's that all about? Were you gonna fill us in?"

Ludwig von Koopa

• "Great work getting the recipe for Skeletone Formula :D, Roy."
• "So, we need something called a 'Giga-carrot,' an 'Omega-onion', and some 'Ever Ice.'"
• "With those ingredients in hand, we can cure the blorbs!"
• "I've heard of the Giga-Carrot. It's supposed to be in Dimble Wood. Let's go check it out!"
• "Yeah..."
• "*sigh* Don't worry, everyone. I got this. Hey! Captain Goomba!"
• "Are your troops ready?"
• "Excellent. You may go."
• "Give Lord Junior a true test..."
• "In times like these, we can't leave things to chance."
• "I've simply arranged for Lord Junior to learn a few lessons."
• "After all, we wouldn't want him to get hurt, would we?"
• "Well, in real battles, he'll have to learn."
• "Lord Junior! This is not playtime anymore. This is serious!"
• "You need to know that if you lose all your HP, you'll actually lose!"
• "Even if your friends survive."
• "Also, you should know that you don't need to defeat all of them to win."
• "You just need to defeat the leader!"
• "Yeah, well... You gotta try, you know?"
• "Ah, this is a group attack. It's when multiple units attack at once."
• "Of course, you'll need multiple units with the same type to activate it..."
• "And, naturally, the more like units you have, the stronger the group attack will be."
• "Lord Junior!"
• "Are you sure you're ready for this?"
• "Lord Junior, it's just that..."
• "Yes, well...that went about how I expected."
• "Lord Junior! Take a look at this."
• "On the top screen here, you can review the units you're sending into battle."
• "This is where you can see your Squad Level."
• "As your units grow stronger, this number will go up."
• "This is where you'll select a quest. But first..."
• "You should look here to see how tough the enemies in a quest will be."
• "If your squad is at a higher level, you're in good shape."
• "Or, if you're feeling bold, you can try your luck at a lower level."
• "The right formation can go a long way!"
• "For more information, you can also tap an enemy's profile here..."
• "Or you can press ."
• "Either one will give you enemy and battle info."
• "Did you catch any of that, Lord Junior?"
• "...Moving on, then."
• "All right, Lord Junior... We'll be facing off Shy Guys in this next battle."
• "They are ranged troopers, which means they can hit you with a turnip from anywhere!"
• "(Oh, he's listening...sort of. Now's my chance!)"
• "Glad you asked! So, there are three different types of troopers."
• "Ranged troopers use throwing weapons and can fire projectiles."
• "Flying troopers can take to the air and attack from above."
• "And Melee troopers are your ground force, charging fearlessly into battle."
• "As I was saying, Ranged troopers can throw weapons."
• "So they're perfect for fighting against Flying troopers."
• "Meanwhile, Flying troopers have an advantage over Melee troopers, who must fight on the ground."
• "In case you were wondering, Mechakoopas and Goombas are both Melee troopers."
• "They charge forward valiantly into battle with no regard for themselves!"
• "As such, Melee troopers are strong against Melee troopers."
• "The system of strengths and weaknesses is known as the Power Triangle."
• "Now, since you are a Melee trooper, Lord Junior..."
• "You have the advantage over these Shy Guys, who are Ranged troopers!"
• "Whew! I know it's a lot of information, but your survival DOES depend on it, so..."
• "...Are you even listening a little bit?"
• "I am feeling a little tired..."
• "*sigh* Lord Junior...I'm trying to teach you about squads."
• "When you like things up just right, your combined power can be incredible."
• "This is known as SPIRIT, and it is super important!"
• "Lord Junior... if you would just listen..."
• "You know, he's smarter than he looks. And sounds. He's trying to get in good with Lord Junior!"
• "Easy, Roy. That's the boss's kid."
• "And despite his miserable attitude, everything is going according to plan."
• "Now, let's hurry along into battle. Actions speak louder than words."
• "Hmph. You're not so different from him, you know..."
• "All right, it's up to you to manage your squad formations from here on out, Lord Junior."
• "It looks like we're up against melee troopers next, so I'd recommend adding flying troopers."
• "I'd say...three Boos should be enough."
• "Well...that's certainly enough from me. I'll leave you to it. Good luck, Lord Junior!"
• "Lord Junior! Let's go over what we just learned."
• "But this can help you, um...'crush it' even more."
• "Excellent. Now, first of all, it's important to realize if the leader of a battle falls, the battle will be lost."
• "And, if you defeat the enemy leader, the battle will be won."
• "Allies and enemies all belong to one of three types: melee, ranged, or flying."
• "Use the captain command at just the right time...."
• "Pay close attention to your Captain Points..."
• "and this thing and that..."
• "and blah blah blah..."
• "and if this happens, then..."
• "and blah blah blah..."
• "...and that's all. Any questions?"
• "Lord Junior, this is important!"
• "Point taken..."
• "All right. But remember Lord Bowser's instructions!"

Luigi

• "OK!"
• "Let's-a-go!"
• "Okey-dokey!"

Mario

• "Hammer!"
• "I got it!"
• "Let's-a-go!"

Midbus

• "Lord Fawful...the plan is in motion."

Morton Koopa Jr.

• "MORTON GUARD LORD JUNIOR."
• "GET DA CURE. CURE DA BLORBS!"
• "START BUTTON PAUSE! ...ALSO CHECK BATTLE LENGTH."
• "BATTLE TOO HARD? SMALL BOWSER PAUSE AND RUN!"
• "WANT VIEW GUIDE? SMALL BOWSER PRESS PAUSE!"
• "...PAUSE BUTTON USEFUL. SMALL BOWSER TRY NOW!"
• "...MORTON FINISH."
• "JUNIOR. MORTON HERE!"
• "MORTON GIVE FOOD. EAT! EAT NOW!"
• "MORTON COOK WITH FIRE. MORTON STRONG! BUT FIRE MORE STRONG."

Roy Koopa

• "Well, it wasn't easy, but I crammed 'em into a broom closet."
• "Had no idea we had so many brooms!"
• "If the blorbs keep spreading, something's gonna give. Either the brooms or the blorbs!"
• "I hate sweepin'."
• "And there HE goes again, not sweepin' a dang thing!"
• "That punk will eventually be our boss!"
• "Hmph. Yeah, I do..."
• "Who are you? Castle-to-castle sales...things?"
• "Man, Bowser will let ANYONE in here..."
• "Go away."
• "We're up to our eyeballs in blorbed Goombas! We don't have time for this sales pitch."
• "Hey! Sales...things. Come back for a second!"
• "Yeah, uh, we'll take it."
• "Go ahead and hand over everything you've got."
• "What?! Why would you do that? Aren't you trying to sell the stuff?"
• "Get outta here!"
• "That's what they said. Too bad it all sounds like nonsense to me."
• "If you manage to teach that kid something, you'll be the first!"
• "I told you. You're wasting your time."
• "Man! What a piece of work."
• "Hah! He didn't hear a single word you said!"
• "Oh, brother..."
• "He really is a chip off the old block..."
• "Me? No, boss. Not me. Musta been Ludwig still yapping."
• "Come on, let's get going."
• "Good for him. But me? I just wanna go home."
• "I ain't the babysitting type."
• "Whatever you say."
• "Just tell me who to punch!"
• "Bro! Try to salvage a shred of dignity here!"

Shy Guys

• "Heave! Ho!"
• "Whoa!"

Wendy O. Koopa

• "All right, what did you do with all those blorbed Goombas?"
• "Right. And to think, he's just goofing off with those Goombas during an emergency."
• "And when it's been so dusty around here!"
• "Yeah, but for now we still report to Bowser. Do you remember what he said the other day?"
• "Best Fitness Friends, huh?"
• "Hold on just a second, Roy..."
• "I know it's crazy, but... What if their products DO have an effect on the blorbs?"
• "Amazing!"