List of Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story + Bowser Jr.'s Journey quotes
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This is a list of quotes from the game Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story + Bowser Jr.'s Journey. For quotes from the original, see here.
Beef
- "Health!"
- "Get bouncy and smooth hair!"
- "That's right, you can have all of these and more when you sign up with..."
- "Best Fitness Friends!"
- "I'M BEEF!"
- "YOU TELL 'EM KALEY!"
- "WHAT SHE SAID!"
- "I'll finish you."
- "GRR! I'LL CRUSH YA!"
Best Fitness Friends (Merged form)
- "PEAK FITNESS ACHIEVED! I WILL DESTROY YOU ALL!"
- "HAND IT OVER!"
- "EAT WIND LOSERS!"
- "More Malatone Formula:X... Yes... Let it flow... muhahaha!"
- "MMM! WE'RE GETTING STRONGER!"
Birdley
- "FYI! FYI!"
- "There's a conference on blorb prevention happening right now at Peach's Castle."
- "All of the most important leaders have been invited."
- "...Except for you, of course. Hoo boy."
Bowser
- "What now? I don't have time for this!"
- "Pfft."
- "Ah, Junior. Found a new toy, huh?"
- "Kamek! Tell me you didn't work yourself into a frenzy over THAT."
- "Son, I'm kind of in the middle of something..."
- "Wait, what IS that?"
- "Who did this to one of my Goombas?!"
- "Hey, blorb! Watch where you're rolling! You're gonna mess up my decorative barrels!"
- "Wait...this is your job, Kamek. Protect my barrels!"
- "Hey! Nobody holds an important conference without Bowser!"
- "GWAAARGH!"
- "Hmm..."
- "Kamek! Get your quivering hump over to Peach's Castle right away!"
- "Rotten, lousy conference-planning jerks... They know how much I like a continental breakfast!"
- "This is completely unforgivable."
Bowser Jr.
- "Whoa!"
- "Hey, Dad! Check it out!"
- "Didn't you hear me? We go until I win ten times!"
- "I need six more wins!"
- "Alright, goombs! Bring it on!"
- "I just need to keep crashing into them to win, right?"
- "Like, just knock that guy in the back, yeah?"
- "Pfft. It's almost too easy!"
- "You ready for this?"
- "I call that attack the Whomping Wallop. It really packs...something, doesn't it?"
- "Boooom! How about that? Did ya like that?"
- "Chalk one up for Junior! Let's do it again!"
- "Now I just need seven more wins!"
- "What's that, goombie? Less talk, more fight!"
- "Bowser Jr. wins again!"
- "Eight more and it's all over!"
- "(I could totally do a better job than those clowns...)"
- "(I'm gonna get this done myself. Dad would love that!)"
- "Guys! Your plan is garbage. I have a better one!"
- "(Wait till I see what I've got in mind...)"
- "Mechakoopa! My precious!"
- "Fly! Fly now!"
- "I'm gonna make that Skeletone... ♪ And dad's gonna know I'm on my own! ♪"
- "Oh, it's you! You wanna tussle again?"
- "Ha ha!"
- "What's that supposed to mean? I'll stomp ya!"
- "Like those Goombas are gonna knock me out. Please!"
- "That sounds boring! I'll take 'em all out!"
- "Whoa, check out that '!' over my Mechakoopa's head!"
- "Bahaha! That was great."
- "I guess that '!' meant he was about to do an awesome attack."
- "Ugh, what am I yapping about? I sound like Ludwig. Back to fighting!"
- "...This army isn't big enough. I need to step it up!"
- "Now that's more like it. Chaaaarge!"
- "Whoa, what's happening?"
- "Sweet!"
- "Duh! My Mechakoopas are the best!"
- "Yes! Crushed it. Let's keep going!"
- "What?! I'm the best! Of course I'm ready!"
- "I said I got it! Yeesh!"
- "LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"
- "Bring it on!"
- "What's that about turnips?"
- "Are you finally done talking? Come and get me!"
- "Yo! Ludwig!"
- "Why are you so boring? You're messing up a perfectly good fight with all your yapping!"
- "You're doing it again! Shut up!"
- "I've got plenty of spirit. Dad always says so!"
- "I'll fight you if you keep trying to teach me how to fight!"
- "In other words... LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"
- "You're STILL talking?!"
- "Did you say something?"
- "Finally!"
- "What's up, big guy? You wanna say something?"
- "Whoa! You're a big fan of the START button. I get it."
- "Uh...so, is that it?"
- "All right, buddy."
- "Whoa! What's the big idea, sneaking up on me like that?"
- "Is that a drumstick? Gimme, gimme!"
- "Wait a second..."
- "Where have you been keeping that thing?"
- "Ah, who cares. Food is food!"
- "Hold on. This is all burnt! What'd you do to it?"
- "OK, bug guy. I'll, uh, eat it later..."
- "All right, it's MY turn to brag about stuff."
- "Captain Command! Open the panel!"
- "When you see the '!', tap the icon below, or press up on the +Control Pad to use Deny!"
- "Haha! DENIED! It's so satisfying."
- "Wait, did that use up some of my CP? But those are MY Captain Points!"
- "Bah, using Deny only cost one point. I guess I'll have to keep an eye on it..."
- "Dude, have you been paying attention? I'm crushing it! I don't need your help."
- "Ugh... If you insist. But make it quick!"
- "Duh."
- "Duh. Duh, duh, duh."
- "Duh."
- "Duh, duh."
- "DUH!"
- "Oh. you finally shut up!"
- "Did you not hear me? DUH! I got it all!"
- "Ha! Larry..."
- "You actually thought you could beat me? Bwahaha!"
Captain Boo
- "Lord Junior! Us Boos are ready and waiting!"
Captain Goomba
- "Lord Junior... Must we keep at this?"
- "My squad has of Goomba training to do. I don't wish to upset your father. Again."
- "Oh...right. As you wish, milord."
- "Wait... Why is the number going up instead of down?"
- "Please... No more..."
- "Lord Junior...I hate to bring this up, but your math seems to be off..."
- "Sir, yes, sir! I have the minions in position, locked and loaded."
- "SIR, YES, SIR!"
- "Lord Junior... Please understand that I'm only following orders here..."
Captain Koopa Troopa
- "Lord Junior! I have an urgent update. I...I've given up rhyming. I'm all about jokes now!"
- "OK, here goes..."
- "Bowser walks into a café and orders a coffee. The barista asks for his name."
- "Bowser says "Bowser," of course, but then the barista starts bowing!"
- "Bowser's like, "What are you doing?" and the barista says, "You told me to bow, sir.""
- "Get it?!"
- "Bow! Sir! Bowser?!"
- "I'm pretty new to this comedy thing, but it's really working for me so far."
- "They say you just have to be brave and put yourself out there."
- "So...did you get it? Bow? Sir! Heh..."
- "It's a play on a word... Hope it wasn't absurd..."
Captain Shy Guy
- "You got past Cap? Guess it's my turn."
Dieter
- "Your wish is our command, Lord Fawful."
- "...Understood."
- "And a personal enrichment system known as Perfect You!"
- "Muscles that quiver like whippets!"
- "That's right, you can have all of these and more when you sign up with..."
- "Best Fitness Friends!"
- "I'm happy to report that everything is..."
- "Groovy."
- "Yes. yes... I always knew it would come to this."
- "The fates have aligned to bring us together here..."
- "Let me ask you a question, son of Bowser..."
- "Are you and your minions... evil?"
- "But you are forever kidnapping Princess Peach and inconveniencing that plumber..."
- "Only a monster would inconvenience a plumber! So what does that make you?"
- "No more help! Son of Bowser, what is your answer?"
- "It's a simple question. Are Bowser's minions evil?"
- "Well, that was unexpected..."
- "Too bad it was all meaningless drivel!"
- "I am here to play games with your lives."
- "So, you meet the real Leana. She's not so friendly, this one."
Fawful
- "Oh, breakfast boy is having the cravings again! He is simple like butter sandwich."
- "Great news I am hearing! And you will join me in the completion of this plan to its utmost completing!"
- "Now where are the loud and muscle-having ones?"
- "Dieter! Beef! Kaley!"
- "Come and share in the chortles with Fawful!"
- "Leave the capturing of Bowser to us!"
- "Yes! Fawful's wishes are the gold coins in your tattered thrift-store pants!"
- "You must never be forgetting about them!"
Goombas
- "OK, Goomba Squad! Soooound off!"
- "Present!"
- "PRSHNT...URGHHHH..."
- "Whoa!"
- "Ulp!"
- "Ohhhh...what's happening?"
Kaley
- "Leave it to the Best Fitness Friends!"
- "Hello? Is anyone here?"
- "Hello, there! My name's Kaley. And...HOW FIT DO YOU FEEL?"
- "Oh, it's your lucky day!"
- "By virtue of simply being here, you have earned a FREE SEMINAR!"
- "We're here to talk about..."
- "Beauty!"
- "Teeth that don't fall out!"
- "That's right, you can have all of these and more when you sign up with..."
- "Best Fitness Friends!"
- "We even brought samples!"
- "Or BFF for short! Heehee!"
- "Aww, I'm sorry to hear you don't have time for personal fitness. I guess we'll be on our way!"
- "My goodness! I'm glad you reconsidered our products."
- "Now, for a case like this... I'd recommend..."
- "Skeletone Formula :D!"
- "Yowza!"
- "You see! Skeletone Formula :D! It's the only product on the market that actually tones your skeleton!"
- "Oh, well I'd be extremely grateful for the business..."
- "...if I had any more Skeletone to sell you."
- "I'm afraid that I only brought a trial sized portion with me today."
- "Now, now! There's no need to get upset."
- "After all I can sell you something much better than the product itself."
- "I can sell you the recipe!"
- "Dieter! Status report!"
Kamek
- "Lord Bowser!"
- "There's a large ball of trouble rolling our way. I'm freaking out!"
- "Oh, I'm too late..."
- "It's headed straight for you, milord!"
- "...Would we call it a frenzy?"
- "All right, I'm working on a theory..."
- "That overlarge Goomba may have been afflicted with a condition known as, 'the blorbs.'"
- "But, Master..."
- "No one knows what causes the blorbs or how to remedy the condition."
- "Yes, Your Robustness..."
- "I'll see if there have been any developments in de-blorbing..."
Bowser's Minions
- "Oh no!"
- "The cannon seems to be jammed. Gadzooks! It's filled with Goombas!"
- "OWWW!"
- "Nooooooo! The Goombas knocked over the Whomps like dominoes. Oh, the Goomanity!"
- "Ahhh! We're gonna get crushed!"
Larry Koopa
- "Oh...great."
- "All right, Ludwig said it's my turn. Are you paying attention?"
- "I am going to show you how to swap out squad members."
- "It looks like we'll be taking on some flying enemies."
- "So, you know, we should make sure our squad can handle them!"
- "Start by opening the Formation menu."
- "This is where you can swap troopers in and out of your squad."
- "So, like I said, since we'll be up against some flying troopers..."
- "It'd make sense to add some ranged troopers of our own."
- "How about that Shy Guy? Move the cursor and press
."
- "So you can deploy up to nine troopers at once, including yourself."
- "Oh, it looks like this squad's already full..."
- "Well, let's swap in a Shy Guy for one of those Goombas."
- "Once you've placed the Shy Guy over one of the Goombas, all you have to do is press
."
- "Boom! Now you've got a ranged unit to fight back against those Boos."
- "Now, if you want to put one of the troopers in your squad back on the bench..."
- "Just select one, and press
."
- "Got all that? Try messing around with some different combos—all battles are different!"
- "Oh! I almost forgot!"
- "You can also move your units around to make a new formation!"
- "Start by pressing
."
- "See these charts? They show how your enemies will be lining up."
- "So, remember how we put that Shy Guy on the front line?"
- "He's gonna run smack into these guys right away. And he's not that kind of fighter!"
- "So, select the Shy Guy using
, and then move him to the back line."
- "Great! Now your formation is optimized for this battle. Using the right units...in the right way...is super important."
- "So remember to check and see how your enemies are lining up..."
- "And then set your units so they're at an advantage!"
- "Oh, man...I haven't gotten into formation bonuses yet..."
- "Eh...Ludwig can tell you all about that. Just try different things!"
- "Anyways, once you're all set, press
to go back and start the battle."
- "How's this working out for you? Pretty good?"
- "Why don't you let me try a different approach?"
- "Already forgotten! Hahah!"
- "Ugh...he's annoyingly strong."
Lemmy Koopa
- "I'll just, uh...stay here, I guess. You know, hold down the fort."
- "What's that all about? Were you gonna fill us in?"
Ludwig von Koopa
- "Great work getting the recipe for Skeletone Formula :D, Roy."
- "So, we need something called a 'Giga-carrot,' an 'Omega-onion', and some 'Ever Ice.'"
- "With those ingredients in hand, we can cure the blorbs!"
- "I've heard of the Giga-Carrot. It's supposed to be in Dimble Wood. Let's go check it out!"
- "Yeah..."
- "*sigh* Don't worry, everyone. I got this. Hey! Captain Goomba!"
- "Are your troops ready?"
- "Excellent. You may go."
- "Give Lord Junior a true test..."
- "In times like these, we can't leave things to chance."
- "I've simply arranged for Lord Junior to learn a few lessons."
- "After all, we wouldn't want him to get hurt, would we?"
- "Well, in real battles, he'll have to learn."
- "Lord Junior! This is not playtime anymore. This is serious!"
- "You need to know that if you lose all your HP, you'll actually lose!"
- "Even if your friends survive."
- "Also, you should know that you don't need to defeat all of them to win."
- "You just need to defeat the leader!"
- "Yeah, well... You gotta try, you know?"
- "Ah, this is a group attack. It's when multiple units attack at once."
- "Of course, you'll need multiple units with the same type to activate it..."
- "And, naturally, the more like units you have, the stronger the group attack will be."
- "Lord Junior!"
- "Are you sure you're ready for this?"
- "Lord Junior, it's just that..."
- "Yes, well...that went about how I expected."
- "Lord Junior! Take a look at this."
- "On the top screen here, you can review the units you're sending into battle."
- "This is where you can see your Squad Level."
- "As your units grow stronger, this number will go up."
- "This is where you'll select a quest. But first..."
- "You should look here to see how tough the enemies in a quest will be."
- "If your squad is at a higher level, you're in good shape."
- "Or, if you're feeling bold, you can try your luck at a lower level."
- "The right formation can go a long way!"
- "For more information, you can also tap an enemy's profile here..."
- "Or you can press
."
- "Either one will give you enemy and battle info."
- "Did you catch any of that, Lord Junior?"
- "...Moving on, then."
- "All right, Lord Junior... We'll be facing off Shy Guys in this next battle."
- "They are ranged troopers, which means they can hit you with a turnip from anywhere!"
- "(Oh, he's listening...sort of. Now's my chance!)"
- "Glad you asked! So, there are three different types of troopers."
- "Ranged troopers use throwing weapons and can fire projectiles."
- "Flying troopers can take to the air and attack from above."
- "And Melee troopers are your ground force, charging fearlessly into battle."
- "As I was saying, Ranged troopers can throw weapons."
- "So they're perfect for fighting against Flying troopers."
- "Meanwhile, Flying troopers have an advantage over Melee troopers, who must fight on the ground."
- "In case you were wondering, Mechakoopas and Goombas are both Melee troopers."
- "They charge forward valiantly into battle with no regard for themselves!"
- "As such, Melee troopers are strong against Melee troopers."
- "The system of strengths and weaknesses is known as the Power Triangle."
- "Now, since you are a Melee trooper, Lord Junior..."
- "You have the advantage over these Shy Guys, who are Ranged troopers!"
- "Whew! I know it's a lot of information, but your survival DOES depend on it, so..."
- "...Are you even listening a little bit?"
- "I am feeling a little tired..."
- "*sigh* Lord Junior...I'm trying to teach you about squads."
- "When you like things up just right, your combined power can be incredible."
- "This is known as SPIRIT, and it is super important!"
- "Lord Junior... if you would just listen..."
- "You know, he's smarter than he looks. And sounds. He's trying to get in good with Lord Junior!"
- "Easy, Roy. That's the boss's kid."
- "And despite his miserable attitude, everything is going according to plan."
- "Now, let's hurry along into battle. Actions speak louder than words."
- "Hmph. You're not so different from him, you know..."
- "All right, it's up to you to manage your squad formations from here on out, Lord Junior."
- "It looks like we're up against melee troopers next, so I'd recommend adding flying troopers."
- "I'd say...three Boos should be enough."
- "Well...that's certainly enough from me. I'll leave you to it. Good luck, Lord Junior!"
- "Lord Junior! Let's go over what we just learned."
- "But this can help you, um...'crush it' even more."
- "Excellent. Now, first of all, it's important to realize if the leader of a battle falls, the battle will be lost."
- "And, if you defeat the enemy leader, the battle will be won."
- "Allies and enemies all belong to one of three types: melee, ranged, or flying."
- "Use the captain command at just the right time...."
- "Pay close attention to your Captain Points..."
- "and this thing and that..."
- "and blah blah blah..."
- "and if this happens, then..."
- "and blah blah blah..."
- "...and that's all. Any questions?"
- "Lord Junior, this is important!"
- "Point taken..."
- "All right. But remember Lord Bowser's instructions!"
Luigi
- "OK!"
- "Let's-a-go!"
- "Okey-dokey!"
Mario
- "Hammer!"
- "I got it!"
- "Let's-a-go!"
Midbus
- "Lord Fawful...the plan is in motion."
Morton Koopa Jr.
- "MORTON GUARD LORD JUNIOR."
- "GET DA CURE. CURE DA BLORBS!"
- "START BUTTON PAUSE! ...ALSO CHECK BATTLE LENGTH."
- "BATTLE TOO HARD? SMALL BOWSER PAUSE AND RUN!"
- "WANT VIEW GUIDE? SMALL BOWSER PRESS PAUSE!"
- "...PAUSE BUTTON USEFUL. SMALL BOWSER TRY NOW!"
- "...MORTON FINISH."
- "JUNIOR. MORTON HERE!"
- "MORTON GIVE FOOD. EAT! EAT NOW!"
- "MORTON COOK WITH FIRE. MORTON STRONG! BUT FIRE MORE STRONG."
Roy Koopa
- "Well, it wasn't easy, but I crammed 'em into a broom closet."
- "Had no idea we had so many brooms!"
- "If the blorbs keep spreading, something's gonna give. Either the brooms or the blorbs!"
- "I hate sweepin'."
- "And there HE goes again, not sweepin' a dang thing!"
- "That punk will eventually be our boss!"
- "Hmph. Yeah, I do..."
- "Who are you? Castle-to-castle sales...things?"
- "Man, Bowser will let ANYONE in here..."
- "Go away."
- "We're up to our eyeballs in blorbed Goombas! We don't have time for this sales pitch."
- "Hey! Sales...things. Come back for a second!"
- "Yeah, uh, we'll take it."
- "Go ahead and hand over everything you've got."
- "What?! Why would you do that? Aren't you trying to sell the stuff?"
- "Get outta here!"
- "That's what they said. Too bad it all sounds like nonsense to me."
- "If you manage to teach that kid something, you'll be the first!"
- "I told you. You're wasting your time."
- "Man! What a piece of work."
- "Hah! He didn't hear a single word you said!"
- "Oh, brother..."
- "He really is a chip off the old block..."
- "Me? No, boss. Not me. Musta been Ludwig still yapping."
- "Come on, let's get going."
- "Good for him. But me? I just wanna go home."
- "I ain't the babysitting type."
- "Whatever you say."
- "Just tell me who to punch!"
- "Bro! Try to salvage a shred of dignity here!"
Shy Guys
- "Heave! Ho!"
- "Whoa!"
Wendy O. Koopa
- "All right, what did you do with all those blorbed Goombas?"
- "Right. And to think, he's just goofing off with those Goombas during an emergency."
- "And when it's been so dusty around here!"
- "Yeah, but for now we still report to Bowser. Do you remember what he said the other day?"
- "Best Fitness Friends, huh?"
- "Hold on just a second, Roy..."
- "I know it's crazy, but... What if their products DO have an effect on the blorbs?"
- "Amazing!"