List of The Super Mario Bros. Super Show! quotes by other characters (L–Z)

Main article: List of The Super Mario Bros. Super Show! quotes

This is a list of quotes from the television show The Super Mario Bros. Super Show! said by characters other than Mario, Luigi, Princess Toadstool, Toad, and King Koopa (L–Z). This includes Mouser, Tryclyde, and others.

Lakitu

• "Ready, your repulsiveness."
• "Thank you, your Koopaness."
• "You better do what King Koopa says or we'll freeze you to your knees."
• "I prefer clouds myself, but at least it's snowing and freezing down there! Hehehehehehehe!"
• "Oh no! My cloud has sprung a leak!"

Lions

• "You got it, you chubby little chunk a lunch meat!"
• "He's got a point, Harry."
• "Now this is what I call a meal."
• "Hey Koopa, slow down! We're hungry!"
• "Hey Luigi, you wanna get to work? Break time's over!"
• "I'm so starved I could eat a horse... or a plumber."

Little Robert

• "WOO!!! This is the weirdest motel room I've ever been in! That TV in the bathroom, man...has some of the ugliest reruns I've ever seen!"
• "That's me!"
• "Hey, ol' chump! Back in and at 'em!"
• "I heal you with anoxic, baby!"
• "Lovin' lotta fun! Y'all tell me I had the same reversion? That may jabba-do go home triply! Ya ready to go?"
• "♪ Tutti Frutti! ♪"
• "♪ Tutti Frutti! ♪"
• "Yo! Your shtick is awful!"
• "Okay! Okay, boys! Take 45, and take it to the top! Ya almost got it! Now, this time, for Mama Mario!"
• "Ready?"
• "♪ Tutti Frutti! ♪"
• "♪ Tutti Frutti! ♪"
• "♪ Tutti Frutti! ♪"
• "NO!!! Yeah, yeah, yeah! Your "Oh, Marios" is great, but you ain't! See, you're a little weak on the (*scats*)!"
• "NOOO!!! This ain't gon' made just sittin' back in my room! Can I eat now?"
• "Now hold on! You havin' to come into your help with him, SING my song, and need to go get 'em! I gotta take my food to GO!!!"
• "Shut up!"
• "(*with Mario and Luigi*) Do the Mario!"

Liz

• "I say, good citizens! May I hide in your humble basement?"
• "Oh, thank you! But, do get up! The reason we ducked in here, is because, we're sick and tired of being treated like royalty!"
• "Well, that! Well, since I am the Queen, you see, I really must use the royal we."
• "There is one thing: Would you let me be one of the common folk, just for one day?"
• "If you want the royal treatment, just watch these scenes from the next Legend of Zelda!"
• "Ooooh! Heh! Lunch is ready!"
• "It's the only dish I can prepare! It's very British, and very Italian: fish and chips pizza!"
• "Oooh, I say... I'm royally pooped!"
• "Oh, I must say. I've enjoyed this, but...as you boys say, forget about it! I'm afraid I have lived as a commoner long enough! Oh, but first, I shall perform a short ceremony, to thank you for sharing your extremely common home. Kneel before me!"
• "I, the Queen of England and the Royal Cooker of Pizza, do hereby dub ye, Sir Mario and Sir Luigi!"

Liz's doctor

• "Liz, I've been lookin' all over Brooklyn for you! You were very naughty running around like that and I don't appreciate that! Gentlemen, I hope the Queen hasn't been too much trouble for ya today."
• "Come on, your highness. It's time we go back to the home! We're having tapioca pudding tonight. That's your favorite!"

Lou Albano

• "Hey, Cyndi, there you are!"
• "Fifty dollars? Well here I am! Now fifty! Hahaha!"
• "Oh, didn't you get my note?"
• "Uh-oh! I must have torn the page out wrong. It should say "I've gone for good fried chicken! Back in an hour!""
• "Yeah, I finally gave up waitin' for ya at my house, so I, uh, followed these posters on the, uh, telephone poles and it brought me right here!"
• "Hey, Luigi, baby, how are ya?"
• "Ay, will you tell him I'm sorry I missed him, but, uh, me and Cyndi really have to go because, uh, we don't want a picnic in the dark. Hahaha!"
• "Come on, Cyndi!"
• "Number one guy, baby, have good luck!"

Lou search volunteers

• "Mrs. Lauper! A message from the President himself!"
• "(with Mario and Luigi) Well?"
• "(with Mario and Luigi) Well?"

Luigeena

• "It's him!"
• "Yes! Don't we look just like them? Everybody tells us so!"
• "Wait a minute. How come I always get in the dirty work, heh?"
• "I'll see you later, Lylezie!"
• "Lylezie, we have to say goodbye!"
• "Till next time, everybody!"
• "(with Marianne and Lyle) Do the Mario!"

Luigi's girlfriend

• "Oh Luigi, say it again please. Please!"
• "You are so romantic."
• "The way you speak French is just... trés beautiful."
• "Do you speak French?"
• "Weren't you going to show me your French etchings, my little french fry."
• "Do the Mario!"

Lyle Alzado

• "Mario and Luigi? Are you here?"
• "Oh... I know I'm a little early. They probably just went to get some refreshments and I'll just make myself at home."
• "Mario and Luigi?"
• "What you look like is the Looney Tunes! I'm outta here!"
• "Nah. I ate recently. Let's just watch...the next Legend of Zelda?"
• "Your foot is sort of on my leg."
• "It's smelly!"
• "Lucky you're not too late!"
• "Luigi! Can I talk to you?"
• "What's goin' on here?"
• "Yes. Well, I met your cousin."
• "(*with Luigi*) Dancing?"
• "Yes, well, it's nice to see you in pants."
• "Goodbye? I thought you wanted to go dancing!"
• "I was looking forward to go dancing. The nerve of that Mel Gibson, taking my girls!"
• "(with Marianne and Luigeena) Do the Mario!"

Mad Donna

• "I was searching for some fine Brooklyn produce when my car broke down. Can I use your phone?"
• "Oh, look! An apple in front of a picture of me! Thanks!"
• "You are the handsomest man I've ever seen! I'm gonna stay with you forever!"
• "Not nearly as much as I enjoy being with you! Mario, my prince, I must call my agent and tell him that I plan to live the rest of my days with you!"
• "Hello, Murray! Just cancel the tour!"
• "And get away from me! Murray, call the cops!"
• "Okay. You look like a nice enough guy, I guess."
• "Murray, cancel the cops! Call the press conference! I'm getting married to the handsomest man in the world!"
• "Count the minutes you're gone!"
• "Yuck! What a dump!"
• "Ha! I wouldn't marry him if he were the last plumber on Earth!"
• "Luigi!"
• "Murray? Murray? Yes, I've got an announcement! I, today, am going to quit show business and marry the most handsome man in the world!"
• "{*with Mario and Luigi*} Do the Mario!"

Madam AGoGo

• "No! It's the chili pepper I had for lunch! Now before I can conduct a séance, ask me what the first thing on my mind is?"
• "My $25 fee. Even us psychics have to pay the rent, you know? Thank you! Ha ha! Mario! Luigi! Join hands!"
• "Oooooooh! Almighty spirits, with magic eyes, to Mario and Luigi, please don't tell lies! A moment of silence, boys! Ahhhhhhh! Either your questions will soon be answered..."
• "Or we'll have to play a quick game of ring-around-the-rosie!"
• "Wait! I see something!"
• "It looks like scenes from the next Legend of Zelda!"
• "I think I've done it! I feel... I feel... I feel someone stepping on my foot!"
• "I feel there is a presence listening! Now what is your question?"
• "Oh, I feel a very very positive vibration! Yes, you will be winners! Now for the bonus round, you may ask one more question."
• "Oooooooh! I don't see any of these people in your prize winnings, but I do see you have a date with a beautiful mysterious woman."
• "Yes! A drop-dead stone fox! She has something to do with the consolation prize you will win! Oh, wait! I'm getting... I'm getting... I'm getting hungry! Wanna join me for some Thai Food?"
• "Then I guess I should be leaving. Zim zalabim and toodles!"
• "Anytime! Ciao, ciao! Ciao! Ciao! Ciao! Ciao!"
• "(*with Mario and Luigi*) Do the Mario!"

Magic Johnson

"Magic's Magic"

• "Guys? Guys?"
• "Mario! Luigi! I'm really glad you guys are gonna help me practice!"
• "Sorry to disappoint you guys, but what I really want to do is practice some magic tricks! I always wanted to be a magician."
• "That's fine!"
• "Okay, great! Put the ball on the table."
• "Out there with me, I'm not very good. Hocus-pocus! Now you see it, now you don't!"
• "That's the problem! I never know where it's gonna turn up!"
• "It sure is nice of you to help. I'm getting worried about my magic. Sorry about that bowling ball, Luigi."
• "I don't know about this, Mario!"
• "Well, okay. Help me out, Luigi! For my next trick, I'll have you pull a rabbit out of a hat!"
• "I knew that trick was too dangerous! Now, what were the magic words? 'Abracadabra?' No, that wasn't it! How about 'open sesame?' Darn, I can't remember!"
• "Hey, Mario. Maybe you could help me remember. Do you know the magic word?"
• "Oh, shoot! I'm late for the game! Bye, guys! Thanks for everything!"
• "Not till you buy a bigger medicine cabinet!"

"Do You Believe in Magic?"

• "Hi! I accidentally did a triple-double-skyhook-ally-oop-slam-dunk-jam on my ol' high school trophy. Can you fix it?"
• "Wow, now that's fast! See you in a couple hours!"
• "Actually-"
• "Great! Hey, listen! Is your brother around? I came to pick up..."
• "Good. You got five minutes."
• "Guys! Guys! I really got to get rollin'!"
• "Yeah! Just like new, but it's not my trophy."
• "No, I didn't bring my Player of the Year trophy. I brought my bowling trophy."
• "What?"
• "I get it. You're just kidding, right?"
• "There it is! How'd you get it so shiny?"
• "You guys are champs! This bowling trophy is my favorite! How much do I owe you?"
• "Wow! Thanks, guys! Later!"

Mama Mario

"Mama Mia Mario"

• "Mario, Luigi, it's Mama! Open this door, or I'll break your heads!"
• "What took you so long?"
• "Yeah, you're sorry, but you never come when I ring the bell!"
• "OH, SURE! Why'd you just crawl on the floor to your mother?"
• "I want you to run when I tell you to run, you run!"
• "You understand what I'm telling you?!"
• "When I say run, you run when I come up..."
• "As soon as your brother finishes washing the street, you tell him to come in here! I've got more work for him!"
• "Shut up and don't talk back!"
• "Who's that?"
• "Not until you wash down the Brooklyn Bridge! It's a mess!"
• "Luigi, enough watering the floor! You go help your brother, you lazy mortadella!"
• "Mario! Luigi! What's a matter for you?! You two lazy bums! No more fun and games! Get back to work!"
• "Ciao, my little meatballs!"
• "Just in case!"

"Little Marios"

• "Boys! How many times do I have to tell you not to fight? Mario, since you're the oldest, you should know better! You're grounded!"
• "Well then, go peel the garlic, for the next five days!"
• "Mario, without your brother here, there's a lot more for us!"
• "About what?"
• "No! I don't miss your yelling, I didn't miss your fighting with your brother, and I didn't miss your room in a mess! But you, I miss!"
• "Just in case!"

Marianne

• "Oh, I'd recognize those, uh...those muscular shoulders, that muscular neck, and that muscular hair anyway!"
• "Oh, no no no no no no no! We're not Mario and Luigi! We're Luigeena and Marianne! We're the cousins."
• "We will find Mario and Luigi for you! Just a minute! Hey, Luigeena! Hit the road!"
• "Tell me about yourself, Lylzie-wylesie! So cute..."
• "So Lyle, why don't you watch me dance?"
• "I don't mind!"
• "Tell me something I don't know, Lyle, you bug and handsome hunk!"
• "Luigeena, went to look for Mario and you! I'm starting to get worried! I'd better go look for them!"
• "Lyle, don't forget tonight about the dancing!"
• "Yoo-hoo, Lyle!"
• "Oh no, we just spotted Mel Gibson, and we're gonna track him home!"
• "(with Luigeena and Lyle) Do the Mario!"

Marilyn

• "Yo, uncs! It's me, Marilyn!"
• "My mom said you wouldn't mind if we stopped by for the weekend!"
• "Yo, guys!"
• "Yo, uncs! Yo, uncs! How 'bout joinin' in?"
• "Hey, unc! Is there any way you could speed the sub? Me and the gang have gotta get going!"
• "Yeah, you know, the key to success of partygoing is to always be on the moon! We're movin' this party on to the beach!"
• "I know THAT! We're gonna go stay with Uncle Troy in sunny California! Bye!"

Mario Joe and Luigi Bob

Luigi Bob

• "Howdy-doo! Anybody home?"
• "I believe you're right, Mario Joe! Let's see what we got here."
• "Eh, city crow. Lemme see, 'Dear Mario and Luigi Bob: Sorry we missed you, but went fishing. Make yourself to home.'"
• "(with Mario Joe) Yeeeee-haw! Fiddles!"
• "Hey, cousin Mario. Yo what they call this stuff they got on top of the pizza?"
• "Pepperoni? Where's that from?"
• "No kiddin'! What'd they call that?"
• "I don't really know. Do you reckon we should find out?"
• "We ain't exactly sure if we've got one down here, ma'am."
• "Oh, well, ma'am...I-I-I'm Luigi. See, ain't nothin' funny on the end or nothin' like Bob or nothin' like that. Just plain ol' Luigi. Yes, ma'am."
• "Yes ma'am!"
• "Yup."
• "Zeke?"
• "Shucks, ma'am, we'd be more than happy to be fixin' your sink."
• "Well, lead us to it, ma'am! Lead on!"
• "(*with Mario Joe and Ellie Mae*) Do the Mario!"

Mario Joe

• "Hoohoo! Luigi, Mario, anybody home?"
• "Oooh, I reckon there's some kinda note down yonder!"
• "Make ourselves at home?"
• "(with Luigi Bob) Yeeeee-haw! Fiddles!"
• "Pepperoni!"
• "A little tiny animal about that big."
• "Nickaroonie."
• "What in tarnation do you expect that is?"
• "Hm. I think I reckon so. Come on in!"
• "Well...I don't know. You see, we ai-"
• "Oh no no! We'll help ya, Miss!"
• "And I'm Mari-Mario! Just Mario! We're the Mario Bros. Plumbing, and we're here to take care of all your plumbing needs!"
• "Thank you!"
• "We're takin' the kids to the next Legend of Zelda! Hoooo-ee!"
• "Mook?"
• "Oh, yes, ma'am. We're up on all the fancy new uh...thingamajigs!"
• "Hoooo-ee!"
• "Alright! I feel like I've died, and gone to heaven!"
• "Till next time, everybody! (*with Luigi Bob and Ellie Mae*) Do the Mario!"

Mark Twang

• "Howdy, boys! I'm Mark Twang, captain of the Ding Bell! Who are you?"
• "I wish I could help you boys save your princess. I'm after the Sinister Star myself. At least I was till that conniving Koopa sabotaged the Ding Bell's steam engine."
• "I'm just plain sunk, boys! I'll never win my race with Koopa to be King of the River!"
• "We need more steam."
• "Great jumping bullfrogs!"
• "The current's too strong, boys! We're done for!"
• "I can't stop her! We're doomed!"
• "So long, boys! It was nice knowing ya, but there's no avoiding the black pit!"
• "Well, only one thing to do! We'll go to the Mouth of the River."
• "Not where, who! The Mouth knows everything about the river, she'll know what to do."
• "The river IS goin' around the black pit! Now that's what I call super plumbing!"
• "But I'm afraid I've got bad news! Koopa's got too big a head start! No way we can catch him!"
• "The Marios jumped too fast! The paddlewheel's still turning, and I can't stop!"
• "Aw, shucks! Thanks, folks! Now, let's get this victory dinner rollin'!"

Mayor Fettuccine

• "Times are terrible, Toad! Disaster has descended on Pastaland's people!"
• "The Pied Koopa has just stolen all our children!"
• "Who knows?"
• "People of Pastaland, we have no choice! We must give our spaghetti harvest to Koopa!"
• "Please rise."
• "I hereby present you with the Order of the Golden Meatball for your valiant efforts in rescuing the children of Pastaland and saving our spaghetti crop."
• "Speech! Speech!"

Mermushrooms

• "Thank you, brave land-dwellers for rescuing me!"
• "He works for Barra-Koopa. The evil reptile is kidnapping my people and turning them into slaves!"
• "Barra-Koopa has imprisoned him! Please, you've got to help my people and free our king!"
• "Look! Barra-Koopa's minions are forcing my people to gather all the gold coins from the sunken ship in Aqua Land!"
• "Hurray for the brave land-dwellers!"
• "We're trapped, like sardines in a can!"
• "(*With Mario, Luigi, Princess Toastool and Toad*) Trouters!!"
• "(*With Mario, Luigi, Princess Toadstool and Toad*) A Clawgrip!"
• "I can help! I know a secret passage to the Aqua Land dungeon! Come, I'll show you!"
• "Princess Toadstool and these brave plumbers have come to rescue you and help us fight bad Barra-Koopa!"

Mervin the Magician

• "Beezos begone! Abracadabra! Buzz off!"
• "At your service, Princess! Wait'll you see my neato magic cave and my shtick with my crystal ball!"
• "It was King Koopa who sent the Beezo bandits after you!"
• "I'll show you! Just cross your fingers that my aerial is hooked up."
• "When the old king died, Koopa moved into his castle and crowned himself king!"
• "Yep! I looked it up in the magician's handbook."
• "One special person can bounce Koopa off his throne, but first, he must pass a test no man has ever passed before."
• "Whoever is to free our land, must first pull the Golden Plunger from the Sacred Sink of Cramalot!"
• "One thing about Cramalot...we're not chintzy! Whoever pulls out that plunger, will be crowned a real king and become powerful enough to drive Koopa away."
• "Nice plumbing, hero guy! Dust off the crown and call out the town! Cramalot has a new king!"
• "Sorry, I had to buy batteries for my magic staff. You wouldn't believe those lines at the checkout corner."
• "This is the Forest of Perpetual Night and Terrible Dangers!"
• "That's no ordinary plumber snake! That's Excalibur, the mightiest tool of good deeds in all of the realm!"
• "Mario, Excalibur has made you the most powerful crusader in all of Cramalot! Congratulations, kiddo! You must now face Koopa, and drive him from the land!"
• "Mario! Thanks to you and your brave buddies, Koopa has been chased from Cramalot!"
• "Nothing? It was plumb fantastic, and Cramalot's people want you to stay here and be the king!"
• "I crown you, Royal Mario!"
• "Your new exercise machine! Whoever becomes king of Cramalot, must be trim as a lion! No more pasta for you!"

Mikhail S. Gorbachev

• "Greetings, Mario Bros.! Enough small talk! My spies tell me, that you make best pizza in Brooklyn! I want to learn how! So impress!"
• "Gentlemen, please! I do not have much time! Perhaps it'll go quicker if I assisted, huh? Huh? Huh?"
• "Boris! Needs borscht!"
• "Ukrainian sour cream!"
• "Caviar from Mother Russia!"
• "Fellas, we watch exciting scenes from Legend of Zelda, then we give pizza a chance!"
• "Is pizza ready, comerades?"
• "I want to sample pizza of my own creation!"
• "Is not good."
• "Is not good!"
• "Is greeeeaaaat!"
• "Like it? I love it! When I get home, I will open pizza shop in basement of Kremlin! Huh? I'll make a million rubles! Oho! I open my own pizza place, huh? You guys will be famous all over Russia! You are great Americans! America, is greeeeat country!"
• "What?"
• "I promise delivery in 30 days, or pizza free!"
• "(*with Mario and Luigi*) Do the Mario!"

Misaki

• "Hiyyyya! I, Misaki, will stop you, Karate Koopa!"
• "Nothing like a good workout!"
• "Ah, they don't make ninjas like they used to."
• "No one fights like I do, but enemy of Koopa's is friend of mine!"
• "Yes, grasshopper! Let's hop to it!"
• "When training to be martial arts expert, the word 'fear' never enter vocabulary!"
• "One must stay focused and not let mind stray!"
• "Okay, Mario-san! Ah-chop-chop! You stop me!"
• "Do not give up hope, grasshoppers! You go with flow! Use what you know."
• "I will teach you most dangerous form of karate ever invented: Plumb-Fu!"
• "Plumb-Fu is ancient style of fighting secretly passed down from plumber father, to plumber son. Plunge on!"
• "So! Luigi-san, snatch washer from my hand."
• "Now, grasshoppers, you are ready. I will teach you the secrets of Plumb-Fu."
• "You are sneaky scum!"
• "No good! Koopa's made these chains karate-proof!"
• "You have learned your lessons well, Mario-san."
• "Plumb-Fu very effective underwater!"
• "Your weapons! That's what I call plumb luck!"
• "Let's kick some Koopa!"
• "You go! Leave rest of ninjas to Luigi and me! No sweat!"
• "Those ninjas are history! We're here to help!"
• "Mario-san and Luigi-san, as masters of super martial art of Plumb-Fu, I award you black belts."

Money for Morons host

• "Stay tuned when next time, our super jackpot will total 35 cents!"

Mouser

"Butch Mario & The Luigi Kid"

• "No, it's just fine...and it's waiting for YOU, criminal vermin!"
• "Sheriff Mouser to you, you despicable felons!"
• "Under arrest, apprehended, and busted!"
• "After them, feather-brains! They're getting away!"
• "The varmints went zataway! Get 'em!"
• "If they can do it, so can I! Uh, I mean...you! PUTTYYYY CHAAAARGE!!!"
• "Gulp! Don't worry, Kid Koopa! I'll get every bounty hunter in ze territory after them!"
• "Hold it rrrright there, varmints! Reach for the sky, you varmints!"
• "Not now, you rat-fink! You'll get the reward later! You think I carry that much cash?"
• "I TOLD YOU LATER!"
• "Okay, which one of you plumb-scum keeps yelling he's dying of thirst?"
• "Tough tortellini! This is MY water! Ha ha ha!"
• "Hey! What're you loonies up to?"
• "Hey! What's the big idea?"
• "I'm warning you jailbirds! Don't let it happen again!"
• "Gimme a shot o' low-fat!"
• "Stop them! Stop those horse thieves!"

"Rolling Down the River"

• "First Mate Mouser reporting, Captain! No sign of stowaways!"
• "Captain! Captain!"
• "That's just it, sir! Twang's right behind us!"
• "B-b-b-black Pit Bob-Ombs?! Are you sure about that, Captain Koopa?"

"The Great BMX Race"

• "Looks like YOU forgot your training wheels, sewer-sap!"
• "Slowpokes! Losers!"
• "Poor plumbers went pow!"
• "It's turbo time!"
• "Anybody for a game of Ride-and-go-Boom?"
• "No! Call an ambulance!"
• "Looks like you plumbers are plumb out of luck!"
• "That way! After them!"
• "Ouch!"

"Stars in Their Eyes"

• "Don't be so slow! Hurry up!"

"Toad Warriors"

• "Cheese und crackers! How did that happen?"
• "King Koopa, sir, I just got word from your State Troopa! The plumbers have escaped!"
• "Let's go in and get 'em, boss! I'll bet we barbecued 'em!"
• "Come on, boss! They're not even firing back! They must be history!"
• "What the?"
• "Out of the way! Coming through!"
• "Jump for it, Princess! I'm gonna blow that truck off ze road!"
• "Not again!"

"The Fire of Hercufleas"

• "I know those drain-brain Marios are around here somewhere! We've must've lost 'em."
• "I better report zis to his royal repulsiveness, King Koopa!"
• "Your most grand, majestic and not-at-all-overweight Koopa, Princess Toadstool and the Marios are near!"
• "Right away, oh Koopariffic one! But, don't you think we oughta save those fireballs to blast our enemies?"

"Count Koopula"

• "Yes, Count Koopula?"
• "We got rooms you'll never forget!"
• "Your room, miss!"
• "You two guys with hairy lips can stay here!"
• "Don't strain your brain, Toad!"
• "It's Mousigor to you, fungus face!"
• "And you're the main course!"
• "You are a plumber!"
• "Why, Toad! How you've grown!"
• "And I say you can!"

"The Adventures of Sherlock Mario"

• "Koopa Troopa's the bigmouth!"
• "These disguises were a great idea, boss!"
• "Great balls of cheese! There's the Retro Router!"
• "Hold still, you freaky fungus!"
• "The Retro Router's almost hooked up, boss!"
• "Gee! He knows you pretty good, boss! OW!"

"Do You Princess Toadstool Take this Koopa...?"

• "Oh, it will! You'll make an awesome groom, your royal repulsiveness!"
• "Uh, friends? What friends?"
• "Hold it right there, you guys! Don't we know you?"

"The Pied Koopa"

• "I do! Listen to this Koopagram! 'Your children are now prisoners at Koopa Castle. I will only give them back if you give me your entire spaghetti tree crop. Signed, King Koopa.' You owe him four gold coins, he sends this C.O.D."
• "Right, your royal Koopaness! You want more evil!"
• "Right! Double the guard!"
• "Do I get a medal, your royal snoutfulness?"
• "Maybe you left your radio on!"
• "Hold it, drain-brains! Your music has no effect on me!"
• "If Koopa thinks he's putting ME in charge of those vegetable delinquents again, he's flipped!"

"Koopenstein"

• "(in a French accent) I better warn his royal Koopaness that ze Marios are here!"
• "Dr. Koopenstein, sir?"
• "The Mario Bros. and Princess Toadstool are in the village!"
• "(in a French accent) Brain surgery, and you are about to learn about it, ze hard way!"
• "Ahem! Two half-wits and a princess!"
• "Master, I kept Princess Toadstool from escaping!"
• "You heard him, Princess! You're never gonna get away!"
• "Holy cannelloni!"
• "Master! The plumbers are coming and they've got your Monster Robot Troopa with them!"
• "Stay out of it, you! You're spoiling all our fun!"
• "Oh! It's a long story, your Koopaness! And you'll hate the ending!"

"On Her Majesty's Sewer Service"

• "They're still behind us!"
• "What a slice of cheesecake!"
• "Nine hundred and ninety-nine zillion trillion billion million and one!"

"Mighty McMario and the Pot of Gold"

• "It'll be your last meal once I tell King O'Koopa!"
• "Right here in Shamrock Land, oh carnivorous king of cunning!"
• "Don't just stand there, you midget-minded minions! Attack!"
• "Understood, oh exalted emperor of evil! Those bad luck plumbers will NEVER get by me!"
• "This is sooooo frustrating!"

"The Unzappables"

• "Oh, yeah? Well, eat Snifits, bilge-brains!"
• "I don't get it! We should have more holes than swiss cheese!"
• "Sheesh! NOW he tells us!"
• "Great balls of cheese! Here's the bank vault!"
• "What should we do with 'em, boss?"
• "Who is it?"
• "What's the password?"
• "It's CHEESEBALLS, ya dopes!"
• "That's better!"
• "Boy. Some people are really stupid!"
• "Yeah! And they're wearin' our Unzappable Hats!"

"The Mark of Zero"

• "That's the signal! Attack!"
• "What are you doing?"
• "They're cleaning us, El Koopitan! Let's retreat to your secret fortress one mile north of the taco stand!"
• "Yowch! Ouch! Ooh! Sorry, El Koopitan!"

"The Ten Koopmandments"

• "Your royal Koop Tutness, I'm afraid I have some bad news! Yeow!"
• "Gulp! Did I say 'bad news?' I meant good news! You'll give me a medal for bringing it!"
• "We can take that vacation cruise of the Nile!"
• "That's the great part! We CAN'T finish the Koopinx! We're fresh outta bricks!"
• "I guess this means no cruise and no medal."
• "As you Koopmand, oh rancid one!"
• "Sheesh... There's nothing worse than that cranky Koopa."
• "They're over there, boss!"
• "Those pepperoni plumbers freed the Mushroom People and escaped into the desert!"
• "Yes, oh vile and nasty- OOOOOOONE!!!"

"Plummers Academy"

• "With pleasure, your reptilian rottenness."
• "Gee, I thought we almost had it."
• "Okay, your royal Koopaness. Take a big sniff of this pepper!"

"Princess, I Shrunk the Mario Brothers"

• "You said it! You got it, your Koopaness!"
• "Okay, prisoners! Down those stairs!"
• "That'll be another 200 years! Get 'em!"
• "Move it, move it, move it! Stay in this dungeon where you- Hey! What's dripping on me? Who's doing that? Wha?"
• "Koopa's not gonna liiiike thiiiis!"
• "Hey! Watch it!"
• "Mommy!"

"Escape from Koopatraz"

• "All rise for his honor, the disonorable Judge Koopa! Here come the Koopa!"
• "'Mario, Luigi, Princess Toadstool and Toad, you are charged with disturbing the Koopa, plumbing without a license, and not eating your pasta.' How do you plead?"
• "They say guilty, your judgefulness! Just like we planned!"
• "500 pounds, your honor!"
• "Hey, it could've been life! Relax! You'll be up for parole in a century or two!"
• "Ouch! Ohhhh..."
• "Your stay will begin with a cruise across scenic Trouter Bay to ze island prison of Koopatraz! Best of all, your visit will be uninterrupted by escapes! No one has ever left this world famous maximum security dungeon alive."
• "Quiet, fungus! Warden Koopa doesn't allow our prisoners to talk!"
• "Not you, Princess! Girls have their own cell! Looks like you have company, Gramps!"
• "If you need anything, just yell! Too bad no one will hear you!"
• "Scrub those duds, peons! Time's a-wasting!"
• "Then, get some more!"
• "Attention, Koopa Match Scrub Scum! Time to go back to your cells!"

"Raiders of the Lost Mushroom"

• "Rotten cheeseballs! They're bound to reach the Lost Mushroom before us!"
• "Geez, boss. That's stealing!"
• "Oh, yeah."
• "I wonder what that Mushroom would make me one out of cheese?"
• "No!"

"Star Koopa"

• "Aye aye, Darth Koopa, sir! Don't worry, your great galacticness! We'll catch 'em! Ze spaceship hasn't been built zat could outrun Koop Star. Including zat bucket of old plumbing fixtures they call, The Flying Pizza!"
• "Tractor beam engaged, your royal spaciness!"
• "Back off, plumber, or I'll freeze your pipes for good!"
• "Aye aye, sir! 30 minutes to firing time, your royal badness!"
• "As you can see, Koop Star is equipped with the latest in garbage disposing technology. If I may call your attention to our flow chart, you'll see that you'll be sliced and diced here, compacted here..."
• "...and ejected into space here, neatly packaged in a space age biodegradable garbage pod, and never to bother us again! Have a nice day!"
• "The plumbers are disposed of, your vast emptiness!"
• "That's them now, all wrapped in a garbage pod with no place to go but down!"
• "16 minutes and counting, Darth Koopa, sir!"

Mouth of the River

• "You came to the right place, boys! I'm the fastest Mouth in the South, and my advice is nice! I see all, tell all, and cure your bunions to boot! When my lips flap, the River World listens!"
• "Take it straight from the mouth, boys! There won't be a black pit, if the river goes around it!"
• "You're asking me! You're the plumbers!"
• "No way? You're wrong! I'll tell you a way! I'm the Mouth of the River, just read my lips!"
• "These magic doodads are more powerful than pasta!"
• "Jump faster, boys! We're catchin' up to Koopa!"
• "Get ready to board and kick Koopa in the kisser for me!"
• "And don't forget me! Madame Mouth, number one know-all, river-riding roustabout of the South!"
• "The Mouth herself cooked this up just for you, mighty Mario! Delicious Catfish Pizza! Delightful!"

Mr. Gibbel

• "Eyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyey!"
• "Mario!"
• "Well, I was looking over our Chippie Chipmunk records, and Mario is here, is only five points away from being the Chipmunk of the Month!"
• "Well, Luigi. You see, he's gotta live one complete day in which he performs only, Chippie Acts of Goodness."
• "Yeah, y-y-you see, performing a Chippie Act of Goodness is simply a matter of being polite, kind and considerate to others, Luigi!"
• "Yeah, 24 hours! Two 12s! Heheh! And don't forget, Mario, if you make it to Chipmunk of the Month, you'll get this Secret Chippie Decoder Ring!"
• "Okay! Good luck, Mario! See you tomorrow! Eyeyey! I know you're a chipmunk, but what am I? Haha! Eyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyey!"
• "Really? Workin' hard, huh? Glad to hear that. Yes."
• "Eyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyey! Heheheh! So, how's that Chippie Chipmunk of the Month doing?"
• "Yeah! Chippie Acts of Goodness, huh? Well, uh, that's actually a part of the reason why I came over here. Uh, you see..."
• "Well, no, no, don't worry, Mario! You're definitely Munk of the Month! It's just that, well... You see, I took another look at your Chippie Chipmunk record and as it turns out, you actually have five more points that you need to be Munk of the Month. Not five less! Well, I've gotta be on my way! See you next week at the Secret Decoder Ring Awards Ceremony, Mario! Really, I mean I'm sorry, but that's the way it goes sometimes you do it, you know and it doesn't work out. Hey! See ya, guys!"
• "(*with Mario and Luigi*) Do the Mario!"

Mr. Mayor

• "Welcome, Princess Toadstool! May I present you with the key to our humble village."
• "We are honored that you and your friends have come to protect us from the evil Dr. Koopenstein."
• "Help! The Koopenstein Monster is attacking the village!"
• "Thank you for saving us. And now, your reward."

Mrs. Gammliss

• "♪ A-E-I-O-U, A-E-I-O-U, A-E-I-O-U, and sometimes...Y!!! ♪"
• "♪ The children are cry-ing, the cattle is dy-ing! ♪"
• "♪ The creature is dying! ♪"
• "♪ Crying! Cryyying! Cryyyyiiiing! Crying! Cryyyiiing! Cryyyyyiiiing! ♪"
• "♪ Yes, Mariooooooo! ♪"
• "♪ I am sorry, Marioooo, but tough stuff! I must praaaactice my siiingiiiing, or my voice will nooot gooo STROOOOOONG!!! ♪"
• "♪ I sing, I sing, I sing... all the time, the time, the tiiiiime! ♪"
• "♪ I hear you, Maaaarioooooo! You boys are going craaaaazyyyyyy! You'll get shot, in the leg, my dear! ♪"
• "Stop! Please! Stop singing! Everything is falling apart up here!"
• "Okay! I'll stay away from it!"

Mrs. Periwinkle

• "Please, Luigi. Would you watch Kenneth for a couple of hours?"
• "Well, I would. But you see, I'm going horseback riding, and Kenneth has a mortal fear of horseback riding. He was thrown once, you know."
• "How 'bout you, Mario? Would you be nice enough to fishsit?"
• "You know, Kenneth is so...much like the son! He's like the son I never had, actually! Except for his gills and tail. Well...Kenneth, dear? Ah, Mommy's gonna go now, and I'll be back quicker than you can say 'Glub, glub, glub!' Mario. If he wants a piggyback ride, ignore him."
• "Mario! Luigi! Kenneth! I'm back!"
• "Where's my li'l boy- I mean, goldfish?"
• "Oh? Where is he?"
• "What? Kenneth would never leave home! He has everything a fish could ask for: three squares a day, a roof over his fin, and all the H₂O he can drink!"
• "Has something happened to my little bite-size bundle of joy?"
• "Ohhhh, Kenneth! I missed you too, sweetie! Let's go home and mommy will give you a nice warm bath! Yes, I will! Oh, Mario! Thank you so much!"
• "Well, isn't that nice? I'm going to tell all my friends to call you whenever they need a fishsitter! Bye!"

Mugga

• "Ooga la munya!"
  ("He's hard to look at!")
• "Ugga ma mima."
  ("Get a pizza for Mario")
• "Bunya Alley Koop a baconito nato senjuik."
  ("Alley Koop has a Fire Flower, but he keeps it under heavy guard.")

Murphy

• "These days, if it weren't for bad luck, I wouldn't have any luck at all. Me pot of gold coins made Shamrock the luckiest of lands, but now we've the curse of O'Koopa."
• "Here, Mario. Corn beef and cabbage cannelloni!"
• "Stop! Stop! It's me that's causing all the bad to happen! I'm a jinx!"
• "Watch out, Mario!"
• "Let me help!"
• "It's all my fault. I told ya, without me pot o' gold coins, I'm a jinx!"
• "See? I'm a disaster. It the Koopa curse, and you're me last hope! Oh no!"
• "There'll be no rainbow, Princess because the rain won't stop! Thanks to me bad luck, all of Shamrock Land will be underwater!"
• "It's the dungeon of Castle O'Koopa, where Koopa keeps me pot o' gold coins. Come on! Let's slip in the back way!"
• "I knew it. You don't want me around."
• "Now what could be taking so long? They must be in trouble! Murphy to the rescue!"
• "Great work, lads!"
• "They didn't hear ya, lad! With my curse of bad luck, they probably never will!"
• "And get me lucky coins back! We've got to stop this bad luck rainstorm before the village is flooded!"
• "It worked!"
• "Bad luck again!"
• "I lost, lads! All is lost! There's just no fighting me bad luck!"
• "Me ol' pal Koopa! Me closest buddy!"
• "Me pal!"
• "Me gold coins!"
• "Aye! With me gold coins returned, the Shamrock Kingdom is safe and-and I'm no longer a jinx!"

Mushroom People

"Hooded Robin and His Mario Men"

• "But we don't have anything to share no more."
• "The mean old Sheriff of Koopingham up and snatched all our gold coins."
• "It's a gold coin!"

"Mario and the Red Baron Koopa"

• "Oh no!"
• "Oh no!"
• "Oh no!"

"The Great Gold Coin Rush"

• "They said it's gold. Did ya hear that everybody? Gold!"

"Elvin Lives"

• "Cool, cool, chicky poo! Like far away and spill the beans cus I'm here to make the scene."
• "What?"
• "He's like, uh, disappeared. Banana split. If you what's good for ya, you will too!"

"The Provolone Ranger"

• "Who was that masked man?"
• "We never even got a chance to thank him! Let alone invite him to dinner!"

"Flatbush Koopa"

• "Bye!"
• "Good-bye!"
• "Bye!"
• "Bye!"
• "Bye everybody!"
• "Bye!"

Mushroom Rebel

• "Come on Princess! Your people need you!"
• "Hang on!"

News reporter

"Gorilla My Dreams"

• "Just a reminder, all you plumbers and plumbettes, tonight's the big costume ball at the lovely Cesspool Ballroom!"
• "We interrupt with this important bulletin: a vicious gorilla has escaped from the Ding-a-Ling Brothers Circus in Brooklyn! Keep your doors locked!"

"Captain Lou Is Missing"

• "We interrupt this program for a news flash: World famous Cyndi Lauper announced today that world famous wrestler Lou Albano is missing! Repeat, Lou Albano is missing!"

Nicole Eggert

• "Hello?"
• "Well, I did! Over here!"
• "Hi, are you the Mario Bros.?"
• "Well, I'm checking the expiration date on your toothpaste, it's very important. Can I come in?"
• "It says right here that you two are the best plumbers in Brooklyn, and quite possibly the world."
• "Good. I need my kitchen sink fixed."
• "I don't really have much time. You see, I'm on my way to a party."
• "Look. I really should be going."
• "No, don't worry about it."
• "No, really! It's okay!"
• "Boys, I told you not to worry about it. See, actually, this is perfect."
• "Yeah! Remember how I was telling you I was going to a party?"
• "Well, it's a sloppy party! See, the person who dresses the sloppiest wins. You saved me a trip of picking up a costume! The sloppier, the better!"
• "Really!"
• "(with Mario and Luigi) Do the Mario!"

Ninjis

• "It's-a the Mario brothers!"
• "Stop-a them!"

Obi-Wan Cannoli

• "Naturally. I came on short notice. Fill me in, kid."
• "When you can pass through a wall and see, the path to enlightenment will be clear. What are you waiting for? There's the wall! Start passing!"
• "When your consciousness, is in harmony with the universe, no cleaver shall blow you asunder."
• "The two of you are ruining my afternoon! Those wishing to attain enlightenment should pipe down. Geez!"
• "The path to enlightenment will be made clear after these exciting scenes from Legend of Zelda!"
• "Leave it to the master! You go back! Tulio, you human wrench! There's no one in here, especially not Mario!"
• "Go home, and forget about wanting to pulverize Mario! You should be so lucky to get rid of your sister; she's such a pain!"
• "No sweat, dudes. I just make my voice echo, and sound bossy!"
• "Some people like Tulio, grow strong and firm like a mighty oak. Some grow round and soft, like a ripe tomato."
• "You make a better-tasting sauce than Tulio. Farewell!"
• "(*with Mario and Luigi*) Do the Mario!"

Obi Wan Toadi

• "There is no time, Mario."
• "Someone must penetrate Koop Star in a Mushroom Starfighter and disable the Birdo Ray."
• "Of course."
• "Are you nervous, Mario?"
• "This will bolster your spirits, my son."
• "Remember, may the pasta be with you."
• "My friend, you were wonderful. The Mushroom space colonists thank you for your bravery under fire."

Old man

• "Last one down to the Fountain of Youth is a prune danish!"
• "One sip from that fountain and we'll all be 18 again!"
• "So did we! Look! We're grownups again! We can stay up till 10:00! Yippee!"

Outback mayor

• "Thief! Thief! It's Kangaroo Koopa! Stop him, mates!"
• "It's not a g'day, mates! That magic statue Koopa stole is our protection against the crocodiles! Now they'll eat everyone in town!"
• "This way, mates! The only safe place is out on top of our general store!"
• "The mate's right! The only thing that can save us now is our Magic Statue!"
• "You're right, Princess! It would be especially nice if those Mario mates got back before the big barbecue!"
• "We'd better head for higher ground, mates!"
• "Thanks to you, Mario mates, it's been finally a very good g'day!"

Pam Matteson

• "Oh, hi, Mario and Luigi! I've lost my little puppy Ike! Have you guys seen him?"
• "Oh where, oh where has my little dog gone? Oh where, oh where can he be?"
• "No, I just gave him a light trim."
• "I'll never find my little bundle of love and affection! NEVER!!! NEVER!!!"
• "I feel better already! Oh, thank you boys! I've always depended on the kindness of strangers, and you sure are strange enough!"
• "No... It's fine! It's just that I used to love pizza. His favorite was black olive and Canadian kitten!"
• "It's hopeless! I'll never find my Ike! I miss him!"
• "Ike used to call dogs all the time. BAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!”
• "You really think that you can summon Ike by barking like a dog, Luigi?"
• "Well, he's mutt; part poodle, part basset hound, um, a little bit of country and a little bit of rock 'n' roll."
• "Ike! Come to mommy! Come to mommy! Come, baby! C'mere! Yes! C'mere, baby! Yes!"
• "Oh, you're a doggy genius, Luigi! You got Ike back!"
• "Thank you, guys! I won't forget this!"
• "{*with Mario and Luigi*} Do the Mario!"

Patty

• "A sad-eyed orphan. No parents, no brothers, no sisters...just me and my shadow."
• "Patty...the sad-eyed orphan."
• "Oh, I've been drifting for about six months now. Ya know, livin' off the land. Life is tough when you don't have any parents to love and take care of you. Nobody cares that today is my birthday!"
• "You mean it? With a birthday cake and party hats and noise makers and a VCR and a high definition color TV monitor?"
• "Uncle Mario, could I possibly get some more popcorn?"
• "I want it now! Or I'll start crying!"
• "I got it! I got it!"
• "We gave at the office!"
• "I wanna see what the next Legend of Zelda's about."
• "Who are you? My pre-orphan parents told me never to talk to strangers."
• "Sorry, Luigi. Sorry, Mario."
• "And some expensive presents in there somewhere?"
• "Please, dad? It's gotta last me till the end of the century."
• "(with Mario and Luigi) Do the Mario!"

Patty's mother and father

Patty's mother

• "Oh, are you having a party? It's so festive!"
• "Oh, that's terrible! Patty!"
• "You know very well who we are! Now how could you do such a cruel thing like this to Mario and Luigi? Now apologize at once!"

Patty's father

• "Patty, there you are! Your mother and I have been worried sick about you!"
• "An orphan? Why, that's a new one. Last week, she was telling people we were lost in space."
• "Let's not waste any more of these kind plumbers's time, dear! Patty! Patty, you get here this instant!"
• "Young lady, when we get home, you are going to your room till the end of the century!"
• "Well...okay."

Pidgits

• "Pidgit? Pidgit!"
• "Pidgit pidgit pidgit pidgit!"

Pietro

• "Someone from the past! You don't remember me?"
• "Come on! Mario! Mario! Come on! Luigi! You don't recognize me? You don't see the family resemblance?"
• "I'm the son no one ever mentioned for fear of bringing grief to our dear Mama! I'm your long-lost brother, Pietro!"
• "She was ashamed of me! I was the black sheep of the family! Against her wishes, I left home when yous guys was little bambinos! That's why...I've made my way around the world, but I miss my family... I miss you, Mario... I miss you... Luigi... I miss the family business! That's why I've come back to take over the whole Mario Brothers Plumbing business!"
• "Rigati!"
• "There is no birthmark on Mario's knee! It's on his big toe! And Luigi, you remember you had a little teddy bear called Mr. Tough! See? I know! I know! It's so good to be back with my family! I can't wait to sell the business...so that we can spend more time together, eh? Here!"
• "Haha! There! That's everything! In my opinion, we could sell the fixtures tomorrow, and the rest of the stuff, by the end of the week! And then we split the money in half: 70/30!"
• "Alright! 30 for you, and 70 for me!"
• "That's $300,000 a piece! Well, so long!"
• "I just remembered! I'm not your long-lost brother, okay? I got all that information about you guys from the who's who of plumbing! I just needed a little extra cash! Well, ah... Good luck! Have fun paying your taxes!"
• "(*with Mario and Luigi*) Do the Mario!"

Pine

• "Koopa stole everyone's wood and all the villagers are frozen."
• "Lady, we don't even have a minute's supply of wood here!"
• "Well the firewood we took back from Koopa should be enough to keep the Mushroom People cozy all winter long!"

Pokeys

"Butch Mario & The Luigi Kid"

• "10,000 gold pieces? I'm taking you crooks to jail and that there gold to the bank!"
• "You? Ha! I'll show you dangerous."

"The Provolone Ranger"

• "Caught in a needle lock!"
• "I've been busted!"
• "The Provolone Ranger! He's coming for you Billy, and I'm rolling outta here!"

Prince Pompadour

• "Rotunda, you're the most beautiful creature in the Kingdom. Marry me!"

Pronto

• "Someone say 'plumber'? Me need hot tub on fritz!"
• "Name Pronto, mean fastest moccasins in west!"
• "Cactus! Plumbosabe can tap juice!"
• "Hmm... Koopa rotten reptile. Plumbosabe need Pronto's help! Take teamwork to bring justice to Wild West!"
• "Hmmm... Disguise good. Now Plumbosabe must learn the ways of the West!"
• "Uh oh!"
• "Plumbosabe learn fast! You one rootin'-tootin' masked hero!"
• "No tracks, Plumbosabe! No sign of Koopa!"
• "Hmm... Could be a trap."
• "No Koopa! Canyon dead end!"
• "Plumbosabe need plan! Fast!"
• "Old Mushroom saying: you snooze, you lose!"
• "That's the Provolone Ranger!"
• "Nice shootin', Plumbosabe!"
• "Hmm... We make good team, Plumbosabe!"
• "The Provolone Ranger."

Queen Rotunda

• "Can you guarantee it will make Prince Pompadour fall madly in love with me?"
• "Thanks to your Love Potion, Hildy, I'll be the most beautiful bride Rotundaland has ever seen!"
• "Prisoners? Oh, goody! What did they do?"
• "What? They were stealing food? From me? There is no greater crime!"
• "Thanks, Hildy! Now, let's see what these miserable grub-grabbing prisoners look like!"
• "Silly goon! You don't GET a last meal!"
• "Yuck! What kind of royal chef are you?"
• "I'll never find the perfect dessert to my wedding to Prince Pompadour!"
• "Oh, yes! Them! Off with their heads!"
• "Why does this man still have his head?"
• "Get to the point, jelly belly!"
• "Hot Pepper Pistachio Ice Cream? I never heard of it..."
• "I command you to make some at once! Then, off with your head!"
• "Hmmm... At least your Hot Pepper Ice Cream looks yummy! I'll just take an itty-bitty taste!"
• "Water! Water! Water! Water!"
• "Phew!"
• "Who cares about ice cream? It's you I love, dreamboat!"
• "Potion, schmotion! Come to me, my sweet! I LOVE you!"
• "Never! Knights, lock these three in the dungeon! The chubby Prince Charming is going to be my husband!"
• "Come to me, my sweet pea! I hear wedding bells in my tower!"
• "Let's wrap this thing up, honey bunch! It's time you and I got married!"
• "These are the most tasteful wedding invitations I could find!"
• "Mmm! Whipped cream flavor! Mango passion fruit! Eeyuck! Spinach! How did that get in here?"
• "Uh-uh-uh, my gorgeous gumdrop! Remember your diet! You have to look slim and trim for our wedding!"
• "I just love you so much it hurts!"
• "Let's have a little of your Hot Pepper Pistachio Ice Cream while we plan our future together!"
• "Not you, my little dumpling! You're still on a diet!"
• "Well, just a bit because I love you so much!"
• "What? How could you be so stupid?"
• "Find the thieves! If they interfere with my wedding, I'll have your head!"
• "It will be good night for you if you if you don't come give me a big hug and kiss, baby cakes!"
• "This is the happiest day of my life, and it's the happiest day in your life, too!"
• "Here, here! Let the wedding begin!"
• "To me!"
• "Of course, Prince Pompadour! Of course!"

Quirks

• "We Quirk will help you! You saved us from the wicked Astro Mouser!"
• "Quick! Get on our barge, everybody!"
• "It's no use! He's following orders from our wicked leader, Moon Man Koopa!"
• "We've been hit! Oh no! Mayday! Mayday!"
• "You can get everything you need at our Quirk Factory! There's just one little problem. If Moon Man Koopa catches you, he'll put you in chains, boil you in oil, and enslave you for life! And that's if he likes you!"
• "Sorry! There's the alert right now!"
• "It's no use! We've always been Koopa's slaves! The chains are just a new twist!"
• "We've got them right here!"
• "No time! You must escape!"
• "Quirks unite! We have nothing to use but our chains!"
• "Get going, gang!"
• "Goodbye! Don't worry about us! We'll be alright!"
• "If this worked on Koopa's shackle system, maybe it'll work on this rocket!"
• "We can do it, guys! A-one! A-two! A-one two three four!"

Ralph Washington

• "Excuse me, do you have a vacancy?"
• "Washington."
• "Ralph Washington."

Repo man

• "It says, 'You don't pay, it don't stay!'"

Rob Stone

• "Yeah, I know! I know!"
• "Look! Y-You gotta hide me quick!"
• "Alright!"
• "Yeah, I-I know! I know!"
• "Nice to meet you!"
• "Oh, I don't. I just carry it around for me for the image. Y'know, teen heartthrob rock 'n' roll bad boy. Same thing."
• "Hey, listen, guys, really! I wanna thank you guys for hi- letting me hide out in here. I mean, that mob of crazed fans! They almost had me!"
• "Sure!"
• "Hey, guys! Come on! Listen, you don't have to treat me any different than anybody else. I may be a teen heartthrob beloved by millions of youngsters across the great nation, but I'm still almost ordinary inside."
• "Now, I gotta go! I've got a full day of teen heartthrob stuff ahead of me. Y'know, stamp by autographs on a few eight by tens, break a few hearts... On second thought, I'll break those hearts later. Anymore pizza?"
• "Oh, no, no, no, really! I have to watch my figure. Ah, it's alright!"
• "Well, what do you think?"
• "Thanks!"
• "Hey, listen! How can I ever thank you guys, huh? Really!"
• "Ah, yeah, yeah, sure! Luigi, I'll tell you what you do. You call my agent's office, and he'll take real good care of you, alright?"
• "Alright! See ya later!"
• "Alright! Take it easy! Thanks a lot!"
• "Oh yeah! You answer your service, I call my service, alright? Thanks a lot!"
• "(*with Mario and Luigi*) Do the Mario!"

Robo Troopas

• "Ah! It's the Marios!"
• "Let's Robo Koopalize 'em!"
• "Your metalness! Your metalness! It's the Marios! Come quick!"

Romano

• "Now our fathers hate each other and will never let us marry!"
• "Not if I can help it!"
• "We've got to find my Joliet! Who could've kidnapped her?"

Romano's father and Joliet's father

Joliet's father

• "I'm Joliet's father. What's it to you?"
• "Nothin' doin'!"
• "Gulp!"
• "I knew you'd pull off somethin' like this, dirtball!"
• "The feud is on!"
• "Guess we learned our lesson."
• "What do you mean the kids are not gonna live with you? The kids are gonna live with me!"
• "The feud is on!"

Romano's father

• "I'm Romano's father. Who do you think you are, Princess Toadstool?"
• "Not in a zillion years!"
• "Sigh!"
• "I didn't do anything, nincompoop!"
• "The feud is on!"
• "Yeah! Our children's happiness is more important than our feud!"
• "Over my dead body! The feud is on!"

Rowdy Roddy Piper

• "Now, THAT'S a mistake most people make just ONCE! My name is Rowdy Roddy Piper, and I want my bagpipes!"
• "I want my antique family heirloom bagpipes!"
• "Aren't THOSE my bagpipes?!"
• "McBronx?"
• "THEN TURN IT ON!"
• "Yo! I'm almost done scrubbin' this stuff off! You done with my bagpipes?"
• "Done with my bagpipes?"
• "Well, that's beautiful, ha ha! Never sounded better! Now...do me a favor and get me another towel. This one's for kiddies, ha ha! I says, uh, get me another towel, would ya?"
• "Oh, thank you! Thank you! Boooy, I'm glad you're done with my bagpipes, cause I sure hates it when people messes me over, I tell ya! Boy, I'll tell ya!"
• "We'll see who messes me over."
• "YA MESSED ME OVER!!!"
• "Hurry up with them bagpipes! I gotta play the Scotts National Anthem at Madison Square Garden tonight for a fight and I'm late already!"
• "What am I gonna do with that? They're still hooked up to the vacuum cleaner."
• "I like my bagpipes! WHY, YES! YOU GUYS IS GREAT! YOU KNOW THAT? I miss my bagpipes!"
• "Oh boy, oh boy! You don't know how happy I am!"

Roxanne

• "Mario!"
• "Oh, it's so good to see you!"
• "A long time. Oh... Mario. It has been such a long, long, long time."
• "Why, thank you! Where's your brother?"
• "Oh! I'm sorry to hear that! Did you get my letter?"
• "You do? I've often thought of what you said for that night long, long ago."
• "Sure!"
• "Why, thank you, Mario!"
• "Mario, what are you talking about?"
• "Mario, is there an echo in here?"
• "Mario... This is all very sweet, but...what does it have to do with buying a bathtub at wholesale price?"
• "Yes! Don't you remember? 15 years ago, you made a promise to me, that I could always buy plumbing supplies at wholesale, remember?"
• "Mario! I'm happily married with five lovely children, and we're adding on a bathroom, and I thought you could get me a tub cheap."
• "Great! Well, good. I'll be back next week to pick one out. OK?"
• "Bye. Bye, Mario."
• "Bye, Luigi! I hope you're feeling better!"

Salvador Drainotto

• "Not just really great, sonny! The greatest plumber in the world!"
• "That's right, bambino! I've been lost in this crazy Mushroom Kingdom for 13 years! But now, I finally found a way out! This map, leads to a drainpipe, that'll take me straight home to Brooklyn!"
• "I can't lead ya anywhere! Not until we get past that!"
• "You young kids give up too easy! If I had some help, I could finish piping in an underground river, and use the force of its water, to bust right through that wall!"
• "Enough talk! Let's get to work!"
• "Cross your fingers!"
• "Let's go find that drainpipe back to Brooklyn!"
• "Whatever you do, Mario, DON'T LET GO!"
• "Don't let go!"
• "That boiling lava could sure singe a man's suspenders!"
• "We're running out of time! Let's go find that drainpipe!"
• "There she is! The last drainpipe to Brooklyn! We step up onto that platform, open the valves, and we go Brooklyn bound!"
• "She's right! This is a one-time only, one-way trip with no return ticket!"
• "Hang on! Any second now, we'll be back in Flatbush!"
• "But this is it! This is your last chance to go home!"
• "Good luck, guys! Look me up if you ever get back to Brooklyn!"
• "I did it! I did it!!!"

Sam Shalam

• "Step right up! Step right up! Used carpets! U-Buy, We Fly."
• "What is-"
• "Watch it, will ya?"
• "This is a genuine Persian carpet... made in Hong Kong."
• "Not yet, I'm still gettin' the bugs out."
• "I'm Sam Shalam, and this is my assistant, Slammer!"
• "Just look around! You won't find any finer flying carpets in all of Cloud Land!"
• "How much ya got?"
• "Sold!"
• "Fireproof, waterproof, and good proof. Guaranteed to last until it falls apart."
• "Hi there! Ready for a trade in? I got a spiffy little carpet that belonged to a little old lady from Pastadena."
• "Koopa? Why did you not say so? He stole his carpet from me! That reptile reprobate gives cheating a bad name! Take any carpet ya want! No charge!"

Santa Claus

"Koopa Klaus"

• "Ho ho ho ho! I want to thank all of you for saving me from Koopa Klaus!"
• "Not in time for me to make my deliveries, that's for sure. There will be no Christmas this year."
• "It's... It's very nice, Toad."
• "Toad, in all my life, I've never seen anyone express the true spirit of Christmas better than you!"
• "I'm just so happy!"
• "Toad, your unselfish act fills me with the warm spirit of Christmas!"
• "Thanks to you, Toad! Ho ho ho! I'd like to give all of you a special present! How about coming with me, to deliver the presents?"
• "Ho ho ho ho! Sure, I do! And you can ride up front with me, Toad!"
• "Mario Christmas to all...and to all a good night! Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho! Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho!"

"Santa Claus is Coming to Flatbush"

• "Do you mind if I use your telephone? I'm so tired... Somebody stole my transportation!"
• "What about your brother?"
• "Well, I...sure appreciate your hospitality, a-and all you've given me!"
• "It must be wonderful getting presents on Christmas, huh?"
• "Boots?! A-A-And a wrench! Say, I-I really can use these!"
• "Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho! Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho! Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho!"
• "(*with Mario and Luigi*) Do the Mario!"

Scarecrow

"Tutti Frutti, oh Mario"/"Tutti Frutti Mario"

• "It's not me, spaghetti-breath!"

"Treasure of the Sierra Brooklyn"

• "Ahhhh! Don't look here; no buried treasure here!"

Scooter

• "Hi, Princess babe! I'm Scooter, leader of the Aloha People! Welcome to the island of Waki-Waki, the island of paradise!"
• "No, it's an earthquake! Run for cover! The Fire God's bummin' again!"
• "Gulp! You heard him, dudes! Our island's sunk unless we sacrifice the Princess!"
• "Sorry, dude, but we gotta do what our Fire God tells us! Grab the babe and throw the others into the pit!"
• "Take her to the top of the volcano and throw her in!"
• "Ready, Bingo? A-one and a-two..."
• "You're right, dude! We don't wanna upset the big kahuna any more than he already is! We better wait!"
• "Cool! Must be an early sundown! Time for your lava bath, Princess!"
• "Sorry, dude! We take our orders from the Fire God!"
• "I'm sorry, dudes! A bogus Fire God! How could I ever been so stupid?"
• "Relax, Luigi! It's just the real Fire God telling us he's safe and sending us a message!"
• "Our guests deserve a spaghetti luau!"

Secret Agent N

• "Welcome to the secret spy laboratory. I am Secret Agent N."
• "Not C. N."
• "Not O. N! Agent O's on holiday."
• "Secret Agents Mario and Luigi, your new Spymobile is ready."
• "Well that's what it looks like old bean, but this baby's packing more fire power than a battleship."
• "And that's not all! You'll be equipped with the latest in plumbing weaponry. Wrench phone, explosive drain cleaner, atomic screwdriver..."
• "Watch out!"
• "Be careful. That's a laser drill!"
• "It's a red alert!"
• "That's Fort Hard Knocks, where all of Spy Land's gold coins are kept."
• "Now that Koopfinger's gone, Agent James Blonde is back in human form! Jolly good show, many old chaps!"
• "Look out! That's no ordinary food!"
  (Looks like James Blonde is talking)
• "That's my new Spaghetti Bomb!"

Sergeant Kooperman

• "OK, scumballs! Stand tall! Shoulders back! Stomachs in! I'm Drain Sergeant Kooperman, and you are the crummiest, most slovenly, shortest, would-be plumbers I have ever seen! How do you and this paunch expect to fit under a sink?"
• "Watch it, klutz! You guys look more like drain clogs than plumbers! We need men, with the right stuff!"
• "You got the WRONG stuff! You'll flunk out the first day, I'll see to it personally!"
• "Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Faster, recruits! Faster! Now, HALT!"
• "If ya don't, I'll get to boot ya right outta the Plumber's Academy!"
• "Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut!"
• "What took ya so long?!"
• "Take a break? Heh! Are you kiddin'? You're gonna carry that tub back down and do it again! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut!"
• "You got 10 seconds to unplug that sink!"
• "Now ya got 8! 7...6...5...4...3...2... Yuck! That does it! You two are on K.P.!"
• "Yeah! Killer Plumbing!"
• "Ha! Heh! The guy is about to flunk out of Plumber's Academy, and he wants water!"
• "Now get up here!"
• "Okay! This your last chance! You got 20 minutes, to fit all those pipes together!"
• "Who said you get wrenches?! Now get to work!"
• "Time's up, recruits! Now for your final test!"
• "Who said I was fair?"
• "Help? I don't help guys with the wrong stuff! You'll never be plumbers, and that's what they'll put on your tombstones!"
• "Don't worry, dear! Your plumbing will be like new when Sergeant Kooperman is through!"
• "Ah! Our month's supply of Drain Buster is here! That should do the trick!"
• "Good! We'll add some more!"
• "Ah! Eheheh... Better fix it at the manhole!"
• "You say, 'fast drying?'"

Sgt. Slaughter

"All Steamed Up"

• "Mario Bros.! Ten-hut!"
• "I heard that! Drop and give me ten!"
• "You'd better have my steam cabinet fixed! I'm stuck in traffic on the Brooklyn Bridge! I'm taking a shortcut, and I'll be right there!"
• "It helps if you have a Sherman Tank, bozo!"
• "As you were, troop!"
• "Proceed on schedule, doughboy! Hup-two! Hup-two! Double-time it! Meanwhile, I'll check this baby out!"
• "See how she works!"
• "I don't like the way this thing is thumpin'!"
• "What'd you make that pizza with?"
• "I don't like that thumping sound!"
• "What's wrong with the steam machine?"
• "Valve on one, two!"
• "Valve on one, two!"
• "Alright, doughboy! Hit the deck and no more jive!"
• "Stay right there, don't touch that dial!"
• "Watch the previews on your screen!"
• "At ease, troop!"
• "Must be some kind of communist plot!"
• "It's in the red zone!"
• "Scalding hot! That's a real soldier's steam cabinet! I guess it's OK, except for that thumping sound."
• "Don't just stand there, troop! Load it on the tank! And move out smartly! I'm double parked!"
• "Yeah! I parked a tank on top of a Chevy! Boy, was that driver mad? I'd thought she'd never stop yelling. Double time!"
• "(with Mario and Luigi) Do the Mario!"

"Caught in a Draft"

• "Sgt. Slaughter! And I'm here to train you bozos for a special secret government mission! So don't just stand there! Drop and give me ten!"
• "I'll read you my top secret government orders!"
• "I told you they're top secret!"
• "Now... I'm gonna give you a little test, to see if you can be trusted, with top government security!"
• "Now the whole neighborhood knows, you've failed the test! Get down and give me ten, or I'll start kicking some butt!"
• "Let's do it...ONE...MORE...TIME! One, two, three, four! Push those buns around the floor! Pull those chin-ups! Pull 'em high!"
• "Pull down!"
• "Okay, forget about it! Back over here on the double! Move it! Move it! Move it! Atten-HUT! About...FACE! About FACE! I SAID, ABOUT FACE! Present...ARMS! Right shoulder...ARM! Left shoulder...ARM! Right shoulder...ARM! Left shoulder...ARM! Right shoulder, ARM! Left shoulder, ARM! Right shoulder, ARM! Left shoulder, ARM! Right shoulder, ARM! Atten-HUT! Alright! ABOUT FACE! RIGHT FACE! LEFT FACE! FORGET ABOUT IT! LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME!"
• "Alright! Now...present ARM! NO!!! NO! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU GUYS?! Alright, PARADE REST!"
• "NOOOOO! No, you meatballs! It's never gonna work!"
• "Guessed all odds! I whipped you guys into shape! Now you're gonna go out there, and face torture, brutality, and certain death! For mom, apple pie, and the flag! Whaddaya say about that, boys? ...This just ain't gonna work."
• "As you were! Sgt. Slaughter at your service, sir! Yes sir, Mr. President! I've got the Super Mario Bros., as ready as they'll ever be, sir! Mistake? You mean you want Ratigator? Certainly, sir. Very clever of you, sir! I couldn't agree more with you, sir! No, sir! I don't want a puppy! Give my military regards to the missus! Ratigator! Front, center! I want you to Fort Dix, at 2100 hours on the double!"
• "(*with Mario and Luigi*) Do the Mario!"

Señor Mayor

• "They want to help, but El Koopitan strikes fear in the hearts of my people."
• "I'm sorry we ran, Señor Mario, but without Zero the people are too afraid to fight."
• "Zero is back! Zero is back!"
• "For liberty, justice, and freedom for all fungi."
• "We won! We defeated El Koopitan!"

Shabba-Doo

• "Hahaaa! Whoo! Hey, Mario! What's happenin'? Happy Birthday, Luigi, baby!"
• "Hey, you'd better believe it."
• "You better believe it!"
• "You better not believe it! We came here to dance, right? We came here to jam, right? Well, let's dance, guys!"
• "This is my step-by-step method!"
• "Five, six, seven, eight! Step one! Two! Step, uh, three!"
• "Hey, hey! Seriously, guys! You guys have come a long way! There's no doubt in my mind you guys are gonna be a hit at the Plumber's Ball!"
• "Well..."
• "I thought you'd never ask!"

Shyguys

"Jungle Fever"

• "Yes, your royal Koopaness! They're looking for Sheldon, the witch doctor!"
• "That's why they wanna see him! So he can mix in a magic potion that will put you out of business!"
• "Your badness! Your badness!"
• "But look!"

"Brooklyn Bound"

• "Your malignant meaness, I have terrible news! The Princess and the Mario brothers have escaped!"
• "They're in the caverns!"

"Mario of the Apes"

• "Uh, the boys were kind of wondering about that, oh, opulent one."

Slammer

• "Pleased to meetcha!"
• "Ha! Unless you look somewhere else!"

Slime Ghost

• "Speaking of eating, this...is my favorite dish!"
• "Just me chewing!"
• "Pleased to meetcha, boys!"
• "Wanna arm-wrestle?"
• "I own Luigi! And you...you're next!"
• "Hey, Ernie! I surrender! Just get me away from these two Goombas!"

Snifits

"Brooklyn Bound"

• "A toast to Koopa Khan."
• "I got an idea! Let's use that rock thing for a bridge."

"The Great Gold Coin Rush"

• "The Marios are getting away."

State Troopas

• "Car 54½ calling King Koopa! I've arrested the Princess and her faucet-finked friends!"
• "No, you can't call your lawyer or your mother! Any other questions?"
• "Yie! A Mushroom rebel chopper!"
• "Don't even think about running away, sewer scum! Bob-Omb won't like that... I'm in big enough trouble as it is losing the Princess, without losing you guys too!"
• "Watch 'em, Bob-Omb!"
• "You stupid bang head! Look what- deh!"
• "No, don’t go off now!"
• "Yikes! Here, take this!"

Stool Pigeon

• "Psst! Hey bub, over here!"
• "Ya wanna know Koopone's next job?"
• "Wouldn't be much of a stool pigeon if I didn't. Course, eh, it'll cost ya."
• "Chicken feed! But, uh, since I'm a bird, I'll take it. C'mere!"
• "Koopone's next job will be to rob the First Mushroom Bank."

Sultan Pasbah

• "Ahhh! It appears I have visitors dropping in!"
• "Splendid! Once again, my fake swimming pool trick worked!"
• "My dear, I am the magnificent Sultan Pasbah! This is my luxurious palace, where you and your companions will be my miserable slaves forever!"
• "Guard! Throw them in the slave quarters, but bring me the pretty one!"
• "These priceless jewels are yours when you join my harem!"
• "I LIKE the stupid olden days! Besides, you have no choice."
• "No matter! I've tired of the wench! I already placed an ad in the Harem Recycler, offering her to the highest bidder."
• "I won't take less than 54 urns of chopped chicken liver."
• "What's that awful odor?"

Sultan Pasbah's servant

• "Sire! Sire!"
• "Sire, the Princess is impossible! She refuses to wear the harem veils and roller skates!"
• "You're selling the Princess?"

Susanna Ross

• "Hi, Luigi! Hey, Mario!"
• "Remember when you fixed my plumbing?"
• "You said you'd always be there in an emergency!"
• "Well, it's an emergency!"
• "The other Sublimes missed their plane, and I've got to go on in an hour!"
• "How well do you boys sing?"
• "We'll fake it! We'll fake it!"
• "It helps if you take your overalls off first, Mario!"
• "Honey, you've got the dress on backwards!"
• "It helps if you take your boots off first!"
• "I think my career is over!"
• "5, 6, 7, 8, and side two, step two! While we practice a lot more, watch these scenes from the next Legend of Zelda!"
• "Places, boys!"
• "Okay! Hit it, boys!"
• " ♪ Ooooh! Baby love, my baby love! I need ya, oh how I need ya! But all you do is treat me bad, break my heart and leave me sad! Tell me what did I do wrong? To make you stay away so long? 'Cause baby love, my baby love! Been missin' ya, miss kissin' ya! Instead of breaking up, let's do some kissing and making up! Don't throw our love away, in my arms why don't you stay? I need your love, I need ya! ♪ (brief pause) ♪ Baby love, my baby love, why must we separate my love? All of my whole life through, I never loved no one loved you! ♪ "
• "What's wrong? We're going great!"
• "Ugh...come on!"

Talking gargoyle head

• "Buzz off, Mushroom mouth!"

Tawny Tyler

• "Now, let me get this straight, boys. I'll help you do your commercial and then you'll help me disconnect that sprinkler system you installed in my house last month?"
• "Good! My three-story house is now a three-story POOL!"
• "Alright, guys. Let me see your stuff."
• "That was uh...interesting. *chuckle* Alright. Let's just do it for the cameras, then!"
• "...zombie."
• "I've seen this before, Luigi. He's got camera fright."
• "Oh well, I, uh....I, uh.... Well, sometimes, I, um...I um...and then other times, I, uh... No, no, no, not that!"
• "Sometimes, I just do my famous twirl and that always loosens me up."
• "Right! Let's take it from the top!"
• "Mario?"
• "I just know that Mario would like you to watch these scenes from the Legend of Zelda. Right, Mario?"
• "Don't worry, Luigi! There's plenty of time!"
• "Now panic!"
• "Listen, Luigi! You're gonna go out there an unknown boring plumber from Brooklyn!"
• "But, you're gonna come back a famous boring plumber from Brooklyn! Just leave Mario to me."
• "♪ We're very fast and very cheap cause we're the Mario Brothers! ♪"
• "(with Luigi) ♪ Yes, we're very fast and very cheap cause we're the Mario Bro-o-thers! ♪"
• "(*with Mario and Luigi*) Do the Mario!"

Ted Bull

• "Bull! Ted Bull's the name! President of Bull Oil Company!"
• "My card."
• "Hello, Mario!"
• "Partner, an oily handshake is the best kind. I understand you boys struck oil!"
• "Son, I can smell a gusher a mile away! I wanna make you a deal: you'll be plain loco to pass up."
• "A deal that'll make you two rich beyond your wildest dreams, and that ain't no bull!"
• "Boys, I'm sorry to hear about your pitiful dry well."
• "Too bad I can't do business, but that's the oil game, partner."
• "Son, I could smell a gusher...a mile away!"
• "Next time you strike oil, just call ol' Ted. Ya hear?"
• "(*with Mario and Luigi*) Do the Mario!"

The Old Psychic Lady with the Evil Eye Who Reads Fortunes and Knows Everything Before It Happens

• "I'm the Old Psychic Lady with the Evil Eye Who Reads Fortunes and Knows Everything Before it Happens, and watch the psycho cracks! I'm very sensitive."
• "Seven spiff. This is romance! Romance! Very good! This is not good! Ten of spades!"
• "You'll take what I give? Okay! Nine of spades... It's nice with the ten... A ten! A ten-a king!"
• "A king! Very good! Nine of hearts is romance... Good, for you, good. Ooooooooh! Ace of spade!"
• "This is an ace of hearts. Very good."
• "Alright!"
• "Well, you're a plumber, aren't you? These are my cards. Now concentrate! Are you ready? Yes! We're gonna try to contact a living!"
• "It's all the same to me on the ethereal plain. Now! Empty your head of all thoughts!"
• "In the name of this tortured soul, Mario...I call forth the spirit of...what's her name?"
• "Same as Grandma? Musta been razzed a lot as a kid."
• "Easy does it, Grandma- I mean, Mario!"
• "I'm going forth a spirit of Grandma Mario! Come in, Grandma Mario!"
• "Must be close. A trumpet and tambourine usually announce a presence!"
• "(*with Grandma Mario's voice*) Mario, you slovenly garbanzo!"
• "(*with Grandma Mario's voice*) Look at this place! Look at this place! She's a, uh, how do you say, um..."
• "(*with Grandma Mario's voice*) Shaddap you face and don't talk back to me! That's what I mean, though. A dump! My poor heart! I'm a laughing stock, you know!"
• "(*with Grandma Mario's voice*) No!"
• "(*with Grandma Mario's voice*) Mamma mia, is too stupido. Look, bambini! This-a what you do. You clean up the mess, you wash behind your ears, you clip-a the nose hairs, then maybe I can rest easy. Even in Newark."
• "You called?"
• "Yeah, but not mine. That's a hundred bucks, boys."
• "It's a long way."
• "(*with Mario and Luigi*) Do the Mario!"

The Three Mushrooms

Curly

• "(*With Larry and Momar*) Hello! We're the Three Mushrooms! (*Without Larry and Momar*) Curly..."
• "Ohhh! Pharaoh Koop Tut Mushroomnapped them!"

Larry

• "(*With Curly and Momar*) Hello! We're the Three Mushrooms!"
• "...Larry..."
• "And turned them into bricks!"
• "Here's pie in your eye!"

Momar

• "(*With Curly and Larry*) Hello! We're the Three Mushrooms!"
• "...and Momar!"
• "I'll do the talkin', fungus brains!"
• "Why, you. Ya hit the wrong guys, fungus brains!"

Tommy Lasagna

• "Well actually, fellas, that's not what I'm here for. Besides, I have to see your stuff."
• "First, we need a diamond. Let's start from the ground up!"
• "Alright! Let's go!"
• "Hey, Mario! You pitch! Luigi? You catch! Alright! Get your equipment, huh!"
• "Let's go! Here we go!"
• "Alright! Will you knock it off? Alright! Gimme your best fastball, ah? I'll clock your speed!"
• "Don't give up on your day job."
• "While these two bums practice over and over again, watch these exciting scenes from the next Legend of Zelda!"
• "Well, don't just stand there!"
• "Neither one! I'm here to sample your meatballs!"
• "Yeah! I'm opening a new restaurant in Brooklyn, and I've been lookin' everywhere for the famous Mama Mario meatball recipe!"
• "No! It tastes like horsehide and string!"
• "Well, I'll tell you what. Since I've already tasted it, I'll take these back with me to the ballpark."
• "No! To cover with leather and use and use as balls! That might help me get outta the cellar."
• "No! I mean, this basement department!"
• "Well, I think there's something you can do at the ballpark."
• "No! We're talkin' tossin' peanuts!"
• "Do the Mario!"

Tryclyde

"The Great Gladiator Gig"

• "Mash 'em! Stomp 'em! Crush 'em!"
• "Mash 'em! Stomp 'em! Crush 'em!"
• "I dunno. Ask him."
• "I dunno. Ask him."
• "Mash 'em! Stomp 'em! Crush 'em!"
• "I'll take that one! No, that one! I've got 'em!"
• "No! Got the other one!"
• "Hey! What?"

"The Adventures of Sherlock Mario"

• "Heheh! I bet it was Mouser!"
• "Heheh! Three heads are better than one!"

"Do You Princess Toadstool Take this Koopa...?"

• "Do you Princess Toadstool take this regal reptile for your husband?"

"Koopa Klaus"

• "The Ice Bombs are loaded on the sleigh, Koopa Klaus."
• "Guh! And an unhappy New Year! Ha! Hehehe!"

"The Unzappables"

• "Hey, boss! Your order from the Gangster Supply Store has arrived."
• "It's those pastrami plumbers!"

"Raiders of the Lost Mushroom"

• "What are we gonna do, Kolonel Von Koop?"
• "Heheh! That's right!"
• "That's right!"
  (Looks like Koopa Troopa is talking.)
• "Wow! A 14-karat castle!"

Tulio

• "Baloney! I am comin' in!"
• "Yes master."
• "I will leave now since Mario, my pal, is not here."

Vampa White

• "Welcome to the Wheel of Misfortune, the game of pain, misery, and torture! I'm your hostess, Vampa White."
• "Playing the game is simple, to decide the Mario Brothers' fate, we simply spin the wheel!"
• "Congratulations! You win a trip to the Tunnel of Doom."
• "Bon voyage!"

Vincent Van Gook

• "Hello, hello! I'm here to see Luigi! My name? It is Vincent Van Gook!"
• "The pleasure, it is all yours! This apartment. It smells of intense creativity, or else old sweat socks!"
• "Are you crazy? Vincent Van Gook; he never sits when he works! But in this case, I am tired. Get me a chair. I will set up the easel."
• "Quickly! Quickly now! We get to the first lesson. To the lesson."
• "Now, to the first lesson: always carry a sharp pencil!"
• "Lesson number two: never, ever poke me in the ear with this thing! Lesson number three: never go swimming right after lunch! Always wait three hours!"
• "Genius! Pure genius!"
• "No, no! It is perfect!"
• "No, my son! This is- This is a masterpiece! You, my son! You are truly, an artiste!"
• "I would bet my ear on it!"
• "Take it easy! I am not Vincent Van Deaf!"
• "Disgusting, Mario, but well-put!"
• "Yes, of course, Luigi! And from now on, your art lessons will be taught, by the great Mario here!"
• "Very interesting, Luigi! Yes indeed! But it lacks that certain meat sauce quality that the great Mario brings to the picture!"
• "Now uh, Mario, you realize of course that it's going to cost you a few shekels, to learn your art form!"
• "This week, only 1500 dollar!"
• "Hey! Hey, hey, hey, fellas! Look, hahaha! Uh-uh, lesson's over today! Anyway, I gotta get over to Mrs. Poncherelli and finish her back por-porch! I-I gotta give it a second coat before it gets dark, haha! See ya later! Hahaha!"
• "(*with Mario and Luigi*) Do the Mario!"

Waldo the Wizard

• "'Tis I, you bounders!"
• "Of course, they're jolly-well shrinking thanks to my Magic Shrink Potion."
• "Why, I am Waldo the Wizard, and this used to be MY castle, until that rotter Koopa stole it from me."
• "These little crummies are just the beginning! I'm going to vanquish Koopa and get my castle back. And, I'm going to do it with this veil of Magic Shrinking Potion!"
• "Nonsense, m'boy! With that potion, and my magic-"
• "We're bound to ruin Koopa's day!"
• "Oh, dear! There goes the potion!"
• "I say!"
• "Sorry, ol' chap, but if I can't move my hands, I can't do magic!"
• "Zounds that Koopa. What a cad!"
• "Save yourselves!"
• "If...only I could...get my hands free, I could conjure a magical antidote and restore the Mario Bros. to their normal size!"
• "I mixed up a Magic Growing Potion!"
• "That cad Koopa deserves to get the boot, and I think I'll give it to him!"
• "I must say, Mario Bros., you've done a jolly-good job of helping me get my castle back."

Willy White

• "Yes, that was the beautiful Passover in Norway Polka, as performed by Joe Banana, and his Band of A-peel!"
• "And now, the moment that you've been waiting for, fantastic friends! I'm about to announce the lucky winners of our WACK Radio Broadcast Competition! Our lusciously lucky listeners who's names I'm about to announce, will have a complete day of WACK Programming Broadcast Live from their hospitable homes! And they'll help yours truly, Wonderful Wacky Willy White with the actual DJ duties! Are you ready out there in Listener Land?"
• "Alright. Don't get too pushy, now! The two friendly folks who will be with me on the air tomorrow, are from bodacious Brooklyn, New York: Luigi and Mario, the Mario Bros.!"
• "Congratulations to our great prize winners!"
• "Congratulations to Mario and Luigi of Brooklyn, New York! By the way, you two should expect to see me, the Wonderfully Wacky Willy White, at your palatial palace tomorrow at 9 AM! And have your best announcer voices in tune, boys, because this will be your big shot to show the world just how totally excellent you are!"
• "This is the Wonderful Wacky Willy White, yes, coming to you live from the homey home of our winners, Mario and Luigi! Congratulations, dudes!"
• "Ah, yes! Isn't it hospitable hospitality for you people out there in Listener Land? And...we'll be right back, right after...this!"
• "What's wrong with you guys? I mean, where's your energy? Where's your love?"
• "Well, hey! All you guys needed to do was just...be yourselves. You shouldn't have tried to be like the Wonderfully, Wonderfully Wacky Willy White overnight! I mean, after all, I have experience! I'm a...trained professional!"
• "Oh! Alright. Thank you very much! Wonderfully Wacky Willy White here! Oh, hi, boss! Yeah. Lay it on me. Huh? Really! Far out! Yes! I'll tell 'em! Thanks a lot! Buh-bye!"
• "My, I gotta say, you two hit monsters, you two guys! The phone down at the station is ringing off the hook! Everyone's just wacky about our hot new DJs, The Whispering Plumbers! What do you say about that, boys?"
• "You glorious gregarious guys really are exhausted! Hehehe! Well, friends, this is the Wonderfully Wacky Willy White, signing off from the home of the Whispering Plumbers! You better make that The...Snoring Plumbers! Bye-bye, everybody!"
• "(*with Mario and Luigi*) Do the Mario!"

Worm

• "Spaghetti? We're not spaghetti. We're worms!"
• "I've never been so insulted in my whole life."

Young McDonald

• "Yessiree! You called our farm?"
• "Yeah, I've heard that a thousand times! E-I-E-I-O! I'm Young McDonald, his son! Dad's at a tater convention, so I'm running the farm!"
• "Hoo, boy! It is this bad, ain't it? It smells like a produce section in here!"
• "Lemme take a good look at this! Mm-hmmm... Uh-huh! Mm-hmmm!"
• "Well, I dunno. Have you tried picking them?"
• "You got any clippers?"
• "This oughta fix you right up!"
• "Yeah! This oughta be great!"
• "Sure!"
• "Aww, don't worry! You'll get used to 'em!"
• "Sure! That kind of stuff grows on you!"
• "Not yet! This is a really tough case!"
• "Boys! Boys! Boys! C'mon! I think I've found an answer! Luigi, you have Veggieitis! 'Veggieitis: The strange malady of vegetables growing out of the human body. This usually happens when chopped up vegetable seeds are eaten with spaghetti sauce. This only occurs every 300 years in Brooklyn.'"
• "I'm gettin' to that! Yes, yes! There is a a cure! 'Eat a rose. This will cause the vegetables to fall off instantly.'"
• "Unfortunately, eating a rose sometimes causes Roseitis, which, uh, lasts about a week."
• "Roses grow out of your ears."
• "(with Mario and Luigi) Do the Mario!"

Zero

• "Are you here to like, buy something, or just make a mess."
• "So what'll it be? Burritos, enchiladas, quesadillas?"
• "Ah! It's El Koopitan! I'm getting outta here!"
• "You baked thunders decide what you want yet? Oops! I forgot!"
• "The legendary masked hero, Zero. And if you guys can keep my secret, I'll give you all the tacos you can carry."