List of Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest quotes

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This is a list of quotes from the game Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest, applying to both the Super Nintendo Entertainment System and Game Boy Advance versions.

Cranky Kong

• "I thought you were supposed to be a big star!"
• "I didn't! Whisking off maidens and chucking barrels, seven days a week I was! There was none of this lazin' around on a beach!"
• "I wouldn't be caught dead in a game with bonus levels, end-of-level bosses, and a screen that scrolls!"
• "Say hello to your old grandpappy Cranky. I'm back by popular demand to offer my wealth of gameplay wisdom for this unnecessary sequel._"
• "I'd sort out old K. Rool for you real quick, but I'd be spoiling the limited fun you're trying to get out of this shoddy product!"
• "Surprise, surprise. Well if it isn't the so called video game heroes! I hope I'm getting paid for all my help!"
• "Have you been to see the other members of the Kong family? They're not as useful as me of course, but they might be able to help."
• "For just five bucks, you can buy my memoirs. What a dynamic and exciting life I've led. You'll be lucky to star in half as many games as I been."
• "I was hoping for more frames this time, but no! Don't let old Cranky do anything. Just give him some third rate stand frames!"
• "You think your fancy graphics and sound will work again! I think not. You'll be lucky to sell 10 copies this time!"
• "I hope you bought "Cranky Kong Country" last year. I was the one who made it so successful, not that lumbering Donkey!"
• "Just 'cos DKC sold a few lousy copies, I have to be included in another ludicrous adventure! It's the last time, I tell you!"
• "K. Rool is gonna whup your hides this time, whippersnappers! I'd better take over before you embarrass yourselves!"
• "Team up? I've never heard such rubbish in my life! When I played, I was on my own. I had no fancy backup!"
• "Is that nasty fat crocodile beating you? Listen up, and I'll share my amazing knowledge!"
• "Back so soon? I thought you'd complete at least another level before you came crying to me!"
• "I knew you'd be back. Can't finish this ridiculous quest without my help, can you?"
• "I knew it! You've come to beg for my help again, haven't you! Well, I'm not going to tell you anything this time!"
• "You must be really desperate to read all this! Having trouble on your miserable, boring quest are we?"
• "You're looking a bit fat there, kid! Look at me, I'm at my physical peak. I could show you a thing or two!"
• "I don't even get two screens to stand in! I'm sure K. Rool will have two, so why can't I? Pah!"
• "Look! They've even taken my chair from me. It's disgusting how they treat old video game heroes these days..."
• "Did you notice in DKC that my tune sounded like the title tune? How dare they! I'm worth two different tunes at least!"
• "Look at all this junk in here! Treat my home like a trash can they do! No respect for their elders, that's the trouble..."
• "Where's Expresso? A clumsy spider and a fat parrot, is that the best they can think of?"
• "I hate being stuck in this shabby barrel. I want to sit outside like last time!"
• "Give up now before the kids realize you're not as popular as Donkey Kong was!"
• "I'd have never been kidnapped in my day, not like that fat fool Donkey!"
• "You spend as much time in here as I do!"
• "I don't know why I help you so much. You don't appreciate me!"
• "I'll box your ears if you don't listen this time!"
• "Don't you ever knock? I know you're desperate for help, but remember your manners next time!"
• "Come on in! Have yourselves a look 'round and buy some of this trash, why don't you?"
• "Haven't sold a single thing in weeks! If this junk was out of one of my games, the customers would be begging to get in!"
• "What do you want this time?"
• "O.K., which of these would you like?"
• "Here's what I've got to offer."
• "This stuff is cheap at half the price!"
• "Gaze in awe, as you appreciate my knowledge!"
• "Here's a fraction of my enviable knowledge!"
• "Go ahead, test my amazing knowledge!"
• "Pick a subject! I know everything about this game!"
• "Try all you'd like, this game will never be as good as Donkey Kong Country, and even THAT was rubbish anyway!"
• "Shouldn't Dixie just be a token female princess waiting to be rescued, instead of a main character?"
• "What sort of name is Dixie anyway? In my day, you were lucky to have a name at all."
• "Diddy, I thought you were a cheap character in DKC, but Dixie's even worse! It should be me on my own, that it should!"
• "Girl heroes in video games, pah. I can't believe it! The main character should be really muscle-bound and carry a gun, not twirl their hair round!"
• "I knew you'd do it, Diddy m'boy, but how could you fail having learned all you know from old Cranky here?"
• "Well done, Diddy, m'boy! Who'd have known you'd be able to rescue that lazy grandson of mine and dump K. Rool in his own filthy swamp? Not bad for a novice! Of course, if I'd have been playing, I'd have made sure that K. Rool never tries a cheap trick like this again!"
• "I reckon I'd found all the Kremkoins and completed the so called 'Lost World'. Oh well, can't expect everything from our first game, can we?"
• "One more thing, how many of my special Video Game Hero Coins did you find? A real player, such as myself, would have found plent I'm sure."
• "Let's see how well you did, eh?"
• "Well, I've got a second screen, and it's about time too. Now, shut up everyone while I read the eagarly awaited results of my prestigious Video Game Hero Awards...."
• "Hmmm... Not too good at finding my coins, are you, sonny? You might be a hero, but you've got a lot of catching up to do, yes siree!"
• "Hey.. not bad for a young 'un! 'Course' you're going to have to find a few more if you want to be a big a hero as I was!"
• "I'm not afraid to admit it, Diddy m'boy. Even I'm wrong occasionally. You're as big a hero as they come. You must take after me and Donkey. Well Done!"
• "If you want to look at your limited progress on this screen, press the left and right buttons while you are on any of the map screens."
• "Back to see me again, eh, sonny? Let's see if you've improved your hero status, shall we?"
• "Nope! You haven't improved any since your last visit so stop wasting time here and find my coins, you useless bums!"
• "Now buzz off and see if you can find some more of my coins, which I very much doubt you will."
• "N-n-nice going k-kid! I-I reckon only a t-t-true video g-game hero would h-have f-f-finished it all!"
• "L-let's get out of t-this miserable d-dump, and g-get back t-t-to D-Donkey K-K-Kong Island!"
• "An eight-legged friend will go halfway to help you here."
• "I bet this here Killer Instinct game is rubbish too! It hasn't got me in it, so it must be!"
• "Enough talk, let's see your tokens!"
• "I'd have collected far more tokens than that by now! What's wrong, got holes in your pockets?"
• "I reckon you should spend all your tokens here."
• "I can recommend the really expensive ones, actually."
• "Don't come back without a sackful of tokens!"
• "I'm off to spend my tokens!"
• "Feast yer eyes on my menu!"
• "Take a look at this lot!"
• "Time for a couple of games on this here Killer Instinct."
• "I gotta go now, my wife is visiting any moment!"
• "When you need more advice, which you will, I might help again, if you're lucky."
• "Remember, I'm the most useful of the Kongs, and the cheapest!"
• "It should be real easy for you now!"
• "Even you can finish this silly game now!"
• "Now, go and sort out those stupid crocodiles!"
• "Don't be surprised if I'm gone next time. I'll be in a real game!"
• "Now, buzz off and let me work on my new game design."
• "Guess I'd better tidy this miserable dump up a bit."
• "I don't want to help you too much."
• "That's enough help for now. I need some rest."
• "Yawn! I'm getting tired. Go away and don't disturb me again!"
• "Find some more tokens, you useless monkey!"
• "You'll have to play better to buy that, sonny!"
• "Hey! If you ain't got any tokens, you can buzz off!"
• "You ain't got enough tokens for that, cheapskate!"
• "You'd better stick to the free ones, whippersnapper."
• "It's not a charity! I want more tokens for this!"
• "You must be joking! You'll never have enough for that!"
• "My knowledge doesn't come that cheap!"
• "Keep yer grubby hands off if you can't afford it!"
• "I'm not giving this stuff away you know!"
• "Not enough? Well, get lost then."
• "That one is too good for you."
• "That's not enough. I've got new frames to pay for y' know!"
• "Hey! What are you waiting for? There's no secret stuff hidden here, sonny!"
• "There is, however, a couple of special options on the game selection screen though I'm sure they're of little use."
• "To find these silly options, press down lots of times, but if I were you, I wouldn't bother."
• "Now, go ahead and switch that cartridge off, so I could get some sleep! I reckon I've earned it!"

Donkey Kong

• "Even video game heroes get time off."
• "Why don't you go pester Diddy or something!? Just leave me in peace for once!"

Funky Kong

• "Lookin' good, dudes! I'm Funky the main monkey, and my new Funky's Flights can take you anywhere on Crocodile Ilse, provided you've already checked it out of course!"
• "Cruise on over to the barrel man, and ride the skies!"
• "Come jump into my jet 'n' jive, Clive!"
• "Cool! She's all yours dudes. Catch y' later!"
• "Go get that K. Rool, he just ain't cool!"
• "Awesome playing, Kongs! Go get that K. Rool. He just ain't cool!"
• "Everything is cool guys. You're lookin' ready to ride and catch some clouds!"
• "Drop in on the other Kongs, dudes. We're all here to help you guys!"
• "All flights cleared, dudes. Choose and cruise!"
• "Check me out again, huh?"
• "Catch y' later, dudes!"
• "Wicked! She's all tuned up and ready to go!"
• "Way cool! Pick a flight and you're outta sight!"
• "Pick it and kick it, Kongs. You're A-Okay!"
• "Remember, Funky's the Monkey!"
• "I fly 24 hours y'know!"
• "Take it easy, Kongs!"
• "Call again, good buddies!"
• "Stay loose, guys!"
• "Not enough, man! I got a new surfboard to pay for!"
• "Aw no! Looks like you're gonna need to score some more to tour!"
• "Tough break, Kongs. She's too cool for your pocket!"
• "Sorry, dudes. That one costs more to run than you've got!"
• "What a bummer, eh? Try to find a few more tokens, y' know!"
• "Uncool! That's costly crusin' and you ain't in the picture guys!"

Kaptain K. Rool

• "I've kidnapped that lumbering fool Donkey Kong and you will never see him again! Har-har-har-har-har!"
• "You didn't think it would be that easy, did you? Now, let's see how you fare against Kerozene!"

Klubba

• "A-harrrr! 'Tis the flea ridden gorillas again! Pay the toll, or ye'll suffer a plenty, I promise ye!"
• "It's twenty lashes wi' the cat o' nine tails for ye if I don't get me booty this time, y' filthy apes!"
• "Avast there! Touch me horde o' gold 'ere, an' I'll slice ye in two!"
• "Scurvy chimps ahoy! C'mon ye yellowbellies. Try an' cross Klubba's bridge without payin'. I dare ye!"
• "Shiver me timbers! Where's me loot? Cos if I don't get none, ye don't cross over, mateys!"
• "Splice me mainbrace, it's the monkeys! I hope yers got enough booty this time, or ye'll walk the plank!"
• "I'll wrap me club around yer moth eaten heads if yer don't pay every last one!"
• "Stop right there ye scummy swabs! Step on me toll bridge an' I'll throw ye overboard!"
• "Har! Har! Har! Y'must be jokin' if I'm gonna let ye across fer that lousy loot!"
• "What's wrong with ye? Our bonus rooms must be too hard for y' flea bitten chimps t' find."
• "Try that again an' it's Davy Jones's locker f' ye! A-harrh!"
• "Ahoy there me monkey mateys! Fare ye well on this fine day!"
• "Kap'n K. Rool treats us rotten. I hope yer scupper his plans!"
• "If yers get into any trouble, Klubba 'ere will 'elp ye out!"
• "Step this way, friends! I've polished the bridge just for ye!"
• "Feel free t' use me barrel when ye like, mateys!"
• "Over here, Kongs! The Kremling 'Lost World' awaits ye!"
• "That's not enough, y' banana-scoffing, scummy landlubbers!"
• "Get lost and fetch me lots more treasure, y' scurvy dogs!"
• "Ye'll 'ave t' find me more 'n that to pass!"
• "Come back and face me, yellow bellied dogs!"
• "Ye'll taste me club if ye don't get some more!"
• "Let's see yer dubloons, ye mangy apes!"
• "I'll be waiting right 'ere, y' flea bitten monkeys!"
• "Come back when you want a beating. Har! Har!"
• "Beat it, y' mangy apes!"
• "Get lost, landlubbers!"
• "Don't come back, y' scurvy dogs!"
• "I hope I never see you again!"

Swanky Kong

• "Give them a big hand folks! Good evening, I'm Swanky Kong and you're tonight's contestants on my Bonanza! It's easy to play! Just pick a game and you're away!"
• "Welcome back! You've joined us as the Kongs are about to choose their game. No help from the audience, please."
• "Step right up! It's your lucky day, here on my Bonus Bonanza! I know you're gonna win the Big One!"
• "What do you do for a living? Video game heroes you say? Well, that's great! Hit the button and let's play!"
• "Don't be nervous. We all want you to win, don't we folks? That's right, they're all behind you!"
• "Right this way! I've got three wonderful games just for you! Take your time and make your choice!"
• "It's great to see you back! I wish you could win everything. I really do!"
• "Hi there, Kongs! I've got some amazing star prizes just waiting to be won!"
• "Come on, let's have a round of applause for them!"
• "Good answer! Here we go again..."
• "That's correct! Here's the next one..."
• "Yessss! Let's play on..."
• "O.K., try this one..."
• "I knew you'd win this time!"
• "Alright folks, didn't they do well!"
• "That's what I'm looking for! Next one please..."
• "Alright! Onto the next round..."
• "You clever little monkey! Now, listen carefully...
• "Well done! You got them all right!"
• "Well played, you got them all correct!"
• "We have a winner here tonight!"
• "I'll have even better prizes next time!"
• "You've been great contestants!"
• "Didn't they do well!"
• "If you fancy a game, you know my name!"
• "Everyone is a winner here!"
• "I hope we'll see you back next week!"
• "See you next week!"
• "Until the next time, here on Swanky's Bonus Bonanza!"
• "Good try, but that's wrong."
• "I can't believe how stupid you... er, I mean, hard luck."
• "Close, but not close enough I'm afraid."
• "Sorry, that's not what I'm looking for"
• "Awww... I'm afraid that's not correct."
• "Oh no....I thought you'd know that!"
• "I'm sorry, but that's not the answer I've got here."
• "Too bad, I really wanted you to play that game."
• "Hard luck folks, you haven't got enough to play that game."
• "Awww, that's a real shame. You must collect some more."
• "Go and fetch some more tokens and come back next week."
• "Not enough I'm afraid. Y' know what tokens make? Prizes!"
• "I'm really sorry, but you need more tokens."

Wrinkly Kong

• "All those Kremlings want to do is learn how to fight and squash monkeys!"
• "Those naughty crocodiles! All they want to learn is how to fight and squash monkeys, Tsk!"
• "When you see Kaptain K. Rool, can you ask him if he has done his homework?"
• "Hurry along! School is nearly finished! You need to study a little more if you're going to beat the Kremlings!"
• "You're looking a little weary dear. Would you like to save your game?"
• "Good luck, children."
• "Be careful now, Kongs."
• "Have you been to see my husband Cranky? He complains a little, but he does know everything about this island."
• "Goodbye, dearies."
• "Take care, dearies."
• "Don't be a stranger now."
• "Try to make it to my next class."
• "Come on in and sit down, children. I'm sure all that running around has made you tired."
• "I'll be here if you need me."
• "Well! Just look at those sums those Kremlings have done. Disgraceful!"
• "Come back if you've got any problems now."
• "I hope you're better behaved than those reptiles. Why, I even caught one sharpening his sword in class yesterday!"
• "Oh dearie me! That's not quite enough, is it?"
• "Education is not cheap these days. I'm sure you'll find a few more tokens if you look!"
• "Sorry dear, but I've got to pay for a new blackboard."
• '"Oh dear, I'm afraid you'll need a few more for that."
• "Those nasty Kremlings must have all the tokens! Go and grab some and come back later."
• "My, that is a lot isn't it? Try to find some more tokens"
• "All but one of my lessons are useful in your quest."
• "Make sure you have plenty of lives!!"