|Full name||T.S. Woodrow|
|First appearance||Mario + Rabbids Sparks of Hope (2022)|
|Portrayed by||David Coburn (English)|
Atsushi Imaruoka (Japanese)
- “Begone, friends. Begone! // And pray you never see, such universal sorrow. // for HOPE fled before THEE.”
- —Woodrow, Mario + Rabbids Sparks of Hope
All throughout Woodrow's life, bad luck followed whenever he recited a poem. The villagers eventually banned him from being a poet, and even held a contest to find a new poet laureate to replace Woodrow. However, he disguised himself and entered the contest, but his poem caused a Intradimensional Doomstorm rating a 9.5 on the terror scale to appear. The Doomstorm dropped a cruise ship on Woodrow and struck him with lightning, causing a rain cloud to become his forever companion.
Mario + Rabbids Sparks of Hope
Woodrow is first met when Mario and his friends land upon Palette Prime. He explains to them that two Darkmess Tentacles are causing grief to Palette Prime, one of which is draining the color of Spellbound Woods, while the other tentacle is causing havoc in Paletteville, along with something much more destructive. After clearing the two Darkmess Tentacles, Woodrow also requests that the Heroes find Sweetlopek to have him rebuild the bridge to Paletteville. Once the bridge is built, Woodrow admits that Cursa is the muse for all of his depressing poems, and promises to write more uplifting poems once it is defeated.
The following is a list of quotes from Beep-0 regarding the murals inside the various houses and buildings in Paletteville involving Woodrow.
- Mural 1
"The young Woodrow is reciting his first poem just before The Great Tree Blight of Palette Prime strikes.
It took 500 leaf blowers to tidy up afterwards. Residents were fined a million coins due to the noise violations!"
- Mural 2
"Woodrow's poem - The Strange and Conflicting Feelings Of The Crofter's Cheesemonger preceded an alien invasion!
The entire planet was forced to harvest thousands of pounds of pumpkin spice in exchange for their freedom. Horrible."
- Mural 3
"After Woodrow read his next poem, a luxury space cruiser crashed into a satellite! Debris fell from the sky for quite a while.
Rabbids would be having some picnic and then BAM! Down would come a crystal hot tub or gold badminton cabinet."
- Mural 4
"Two tragedies occurred after Woodrow read aloud his Declaration Of Love Written Beneath Yonder Yew-Tree.
ONE - the planet's moon fell to the surface of the planet. And TWO - his girlfriend confessed to kissing the captain of the soccer team."
- Mural 5
"Each time Woodrow read a poem, tragedy would strike. Residents of Palette Prime naturally blamed him.
They would forbid him to write poetry again, citing billions in property damage and "his use of clichéd metaphors.""
- Mural 6
"Residents held a poetry slam contest to find a new poet laurate, as Woodrow's poems were always followed by tragedy.
Woodrow entered the contest wearing a disguise to prove it wasn't his poetry that courted disaster, but bad luck... 1,142 cases of bad luck."
- Mural 7
"Woodrow gave it his all with his poem I Am No Herald Of Ill. For once, nothing seemed to go wrong afterwards...
...until a[sic] "Intradimensional Doomstorm" measuring 9.5 on the "terror scale" arrived! I thought those were a myth!"
- Mural 8
"Something large set loose from a storm above the planet. Woodrow couldn't get out of the way because he was wearing stilts!
By the way, I knew he wasn't naturally that tall. I thought he had lifts in his shoes."
- Mural 9
"A steamship landed on Woodrow, squashing him flat as a pancake!
It happened after dinner - most passengers didn't even get a turn at the cheese trolley beforehand!"
- Mural 10
"Woodrow was crushed by a falling cruise ship, then struck by lightning.
After THAT a rain cloud became his permanent halo, forever influencing his outlook and ensuring he'd be a bummer at parties."
In my effort to "translate" the poet-warden Woodrow for the Heroes, I studied thousands of his poems. More than just a combination of rhythmic verses, I found them powerful, even moving - expanding and rewiring my neurotransmitters with each prosodic cue. Few things have contributed to my emerging emotional literacy like poetry. Perhaps I should try writing my own one day.
- David Coburn (English)
- Atsushi Imaruoka (Japanese)
- Gabriele Calindri (Italian)
- Luis Fernando Ríos (Spanish)
Names in other languages
T S Uddorō
|German||T. S. Tristan||The name Tristan derives from "triste" (sad in French, Italian and Spanish)|
|Italian||Fosco||Gloomy, possibly from Ugo Foscolo, an Italian poet; shared with Gloomtail|
|Portuguese||Arvoreto||Probably from "arboreto" (arboretum/seed source)|
|Spanish||T.A. Manchado||T.A. Stained; the "T.A." is meant to sound like "te ha" (he has [verb] you), resulting in "Te ha manchado" (he stained you)|
- The rain cloud that follows him might be a reference to the "employer's cloud" (nuvola da impiegato) from the Italian Fantozzi book and movie series, in which the protagonist is comically followed by a personal rain cloud.