Der sprechende Abfluß
The title of this article is official, but it comes from a German source.
If an acceptable English name is found, then the article should be moved to the new title.
"Der sprechende Abfluß" is a story from the Super Mario Bros. Video-Comic-Magazin Nr. 5 edition of the Super Mario Bros. series of comics. This comic serves as commentary on pollution and the importance of proper waste disposal, and is told as an entry from the Plumber's Log, with it having a log number of 563. The first page features artwork from the cover of "Magic Carpet Madness."
Plot synopsisEdit
Mario and Luigi are eating their pizzas when the phone rings. The former, with a full mouth and thick cheeks, tells the latter to answer the phone. However, Luigi looks at him reproachfully, as he is also still busy chewing. He swallows the last the bite and wipes his mouth with a napkin as the phone continues ringing nonstop. Mario, rolling his eyes, demands Luigi to answer it, with Luigi grumbling that it is always him who picks up the phone as he stands up and walks to the phone. He finds the phone in the phone in the bathtub, which is supposed to be freshly coated.
After Luigi picks up the phone, the caller, in a frantic and shrill voice, tells him that he and Mario need to come her residence immediately, claiming that her drain is speaking. Luigi expresses confusion over the customer's claim, even wondering if he is speaking to the drain on the phone. Assuring that he is speaking to the her, and, introducing herself as Mrs. Miller, urges him and Mario to come to her residence immediately. Luigi asks for Mrs. Miller's address, and looks around for something to written. Mario, who had meanwhile finished his fourth pizza completely, hands him one of the cardboard boxes in which the pizzas had been delievered in. Luigi thanks him for giving him the pizza box, and writes down the customer's address on it.
After hanging up the phone, Luigi shrugs his shoulders and tells Mario that he believes someone is trying to trick them, explaining that they are supposed to come because of a drain that is supposedly completely insane. However, Mario mentions that such things exist; he had just recently read about it in a trade magazine. Luigi asks if he is confusing it with a joke magazine, though Mario exclaims that he knows what a trade magazine is; it was in Rohr & Zange last month. Luigi suggests that he read about it on the joke side, though Mario tells him to stop speaking, saying that they should pack their tools and go to Mrs. Miller's. Shortly after, they arrive at the apartment of Mrs. Miller, who lives just a few streets away.
At Mrs. Miller's apartment, she, who is still very frantic, urges the Mario Bros. to come into her kitchen, with Luigi observing with amusement that her head is full of curlers. Mario is confused why Mrs. Miller wants them to go into the kitchen, wondering if there is something to eat. He licks his lips, though Mrs. Miller does not hear this, and Luigi gives him a nudge with his elbow, telling him to come.
In the kitchen, Mrs. Miller points to a drain in the corner of the sink, exclaiming that it is the drain that spoke to her. The Mario Bros. ask if it is the drain, to which she nods in agreement. Curious, Luigi, grinning, asks what the drain said to her, which results in him receiving a jab from Mario, who takes the matter much more seriously. Mrs. Miller responds that Luigi does not have to grin, explaining that she is not crazy, despite what he thinks, explaining that her drain spoke to her. When Luigi expresses disbelief for her claim, Mrs. Miller explains that she could not understand it very well, but maintains that her drain did speak in words. Luigi mentions that "[they'll] find out soon enough," and leans into the kitchen sink, saying, "Hello, it's Luigi, who's there?", though there is only silence. Luigi stands back up and looks arround triumphantly, asking if anyone heard anything, though Mrs. Miller suggests that it does not speak to everyone.
Mario decides to listen to the drain and pushes his brother aside, putting his ear directly into the drain. Luigi asks if he can hear anything, though he merely signals for him to be quiet, pressing his ear even closer to the drain. When he stands back up, there are food scraps on his right ear, which Mrs. Miller apparently finds embarrassing, as her face turns red. Mario says that he did hear something, though Luigi stares at him. He continues by explaining that he heard gurgling and burping, though Luigi grins, explaining that it is typical for a clogged drain and laughs. However, Mario adds that he also heard strumming, to which Mrs. Miller, now exhilirated, exclaims that she was correct.
However, Luigi asks Mario if there was anything to understand, to which Mario responds in the negative, explaining that the drain is clogged, as he mentioned earlier, and, as such, the voice cannot come out, which Luigi mentions that they already know that. Luigi reaches for the toolbox to get a pipe wrench, though manages to reach it first and pulls out a stethoscope. Luigi is confused by why he would use a stethoscope, to which Mario responds that he wants to listen to what the drain wants to say. Luigi jokes that the drainpipe will say that it is an enchanted drainpipe that wants to be kissed to turn into a chimney pipe before laughing, though Mario tells him to be quiet. Luigi looks at his brother with fascination, who is not only listening intently but also nodding several times to someone who is saying something to him. He then hands the stethoscope to his brother, telling him that he should listen for himself. He then tells Mrs. Miller that they will now clean the drain so that he can hear the voice better. However, Mrs. Miller, turning white, yells that she does not want the voice, telling them they should eliminate it, as she does not want to be afraid anymore when she pours something into it. The Mario Bros. then ask what she poured into the drain. Mrs. Miller asks the Mario Bros. why what she pours into the drain matters to them, telling them to eliminate the voice in the drain, though realizes that things are becoming clear to her.
After taking off the stethoscope and looking at Mrs. Miller, Luigi nods to Mario, saying that they should clean the drain. The Mario Bros. begin working on cleaning the drain, as Mrs. Miller watches them with a nervous anxiety. The entire time she wonders what she had poured into the drain, thinking that she poured everything she no longer needs into it, mentioning that she poured the nitro thinner that she had used to wash the brushes into the drain yesterday. Suddenly, a voice from the drain exclaims, "NO POLLUTANTS IN THE DRAIN!", causing Mrs. Miller to almost faint, with Luigi having to support her. With a wild look, the woman looks around as if searching for the one who had spoken, though Mario points to the drain, explaining that it is where it came from. Luigi, letting go of Mrs. Miller, reminds her to not pour pollutants into the drain, explaining that the spirit of the wastewater does not like them. Mrs. Miller agrees with this, completely confused.
As Mario and Luigi pack up, the latter asks if Mrs. Miller's husband does not pour old oil down the drain, to which she hesistantly responds that he does not. The Mario Bros. say goodbye to Mrs. Miller, and as they leaving, Mario adds that she should not throw away old batteries; otherwise her garbage might start talking to her as well, with Luigi whispering to her confidentially that it would be the spirit of waste. The narrator concludes that this would be one of the few days in Mrs. Miller's life that she would never forget.
CharactersEdit
- Mario
- Luigi
- Mrs. Miller
- Wastewater spirit
Names in other languagesEdit
| Language | Name | Meaning | Notes |
|---|---|---|---|
| German | Der sprechende Abfluß[1] | The talking drain |
NotesEdit
- Luigi joking that the drainpipe is an enchanted drainpipe that wants to be kissed to turn into a chimney pipe references the Brothers Grimm fairy tale "The Frog Prince."