A Basement Divided
|The Super Mario Bros. Super Show! live-action segment|
|"A Basement Divided"|
|Airdate||November 15, 1989|
|Guest star(s)||Gary Schwartz|
|Title reference||Lincoln's House Divided Speech|
|Cartoon episode||"Princess, I Shrunk the Mario Brothers"|
|Zelda preview||"Fairies in the Spring"|
|<< List of episodes >>|
At home in Mario Brothers Plumbing, Mario is sitting on the couch, holding a slice of pizza in one hand, as he tosses the box behind him with the other. Displeased with Mario's behavior, Luigi sternly asks him to explain what the pizza box was for. Mario jokingly explains that the pizza box was discovered by the ancient Romans to keep pizza warm and to keep their chariots from getting funky. Overlooking Mario's answer, Luigi asks him why the pizza box wasn't placed in the trash, and Mario claims that he meant to get it. Luigi then asks Mario if he was going to get the rest of the trash he left around the basement as well.
Mario questions why Luigi is acting grouchy, and Luigi comes clean by telling him that he is fed up by having to live with a slob. Luigi then announces that he's going to do something about the situation, and proceeds to take some duct tape, which he runs along the center of the floor, creating an imaginary line down the center of the basement. Mario asks what's going on, and Luigi explains that everything to the left of the black line is for human beings who clean up after themselves (namely, Luigi), while the right side is for uncivilized slobs who live in a dumpster with furniture (namely, Mario), and assigns him to live there, just before the furnace sneezes in Mario's face.
Some time later, the doorbell rings, and Luigi tells the visitor to enter. As the man on the other side enters the basement, he introduces himself as Doc Freud, the very famous, yet very affordable family psychotherapist. Luigi questions Mario as to why Doc Freud came, and Mario confesses that he is sick and tired of not being able to use half the room, saying that they need family therapy. Doc Freud walks over to Mario and Luigi, telling them that he charges his clients by the household, not by individual patients, and that they'll have to pay a family rate for his services.
After Luigi pulls up a chair, Doc Freud takes a seat, pulls out a pad of paper and a pen, then asks him and Mario how long the two of them have been harboring their feelings of resentment and sibling rivalry. Mario doesn't understand what Doc Freud is talking about, so Doc Freud simply asks them as to how long they've hated each other's guts. Luigi answers that it's been since his birth. Doc Freud then asks if they've had any traumatic experiences as children, and suddenly freaks out upon seeing the line of black tape on the floor. Mario answers "no" to Doc Freud's question, and after taking the facts into consideration, concludes that the root of the problem is simply that Mario is a big slob.
Doc Freud scolds Mario for being such a slob, and demands that the black line remain on the floor until he gets his act together. He then bids Mario and Luigi farewell, and proceeds to leave the basement, while Luigi tells Mario to enjoy his stay in Slob City.
Later, Luigi carries a pizza over to the table, commenting on how hungry he is. Mario, who is sitting near the furnace with the Ratagator, tells Luigi that he isn't hungry, and that he doesn't need a couch, TV, or any food. Looking at the Ratagator, Mario envisions him as a giant hot dog, and questions his sanity. Mario then confesses to Luigi that he can't stand being restricted, and Luigi admits that he knew Mario wouldn't last. Luigi tells Mario that he must take the Clean Bee Pledge of Allegiance to earn his trust. Mario is reluctant at first, but eventually gives in to Luigi's request, and Luigi tells him to repeat the following:
"I Mario, do solemnly swear to never leave garbage lying around that practically makes other people barf, and to not be a humongous disgustoid, and instead be a clean bee."
Mario adlibs "lousy, stinking clean bee" into the pledge, but Luigi doesn't mind, and welcomes Mario to his non-disgusting life. Luigi then leads a hungry Mario over to the table, where he sits down. Before Mario can grab a slice of pizza, Luigi stops him, telling him to put on his napkin. As Luigi walks off, Mario uses the table cloth as a napkin, but when he is unable to locate the Parmesan cheese, he gets up, pulling the tablecloth and everything on it off the table.
Names in other languages
|Spanish (NOA)||La división del departamento||The division of the department|