No Way to Treat a Queenie

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The Super Mario Bros. Super Show! live-action segment
"No Way to Treat a Queenie"
No Way to Treat a Queenie
Production number 152
Airdate November 16, 1989
Guest star(s) Vicki Bakken
Title reference "No way to treat a lady"
Cartoon episode "Little Red Riding Princess"
Zelda preview "Fairies in the Spring"
<< List of episodes >>54

"No Way to Treat a Queenie" is the fifty-fourth live-action segment of The Super Mario Bros. Super Show! Its corresponding animated episode is "Little Red Riding Princess."

Plot synopsis[edit]

At home in Mario Brothers Plumbing, Luigi is keeping himself occupied by pretending to speak with a stereotypical British accent. Mario then interrupts Luigi, informing him that he has finally gone cuckoo. The mention of the word "cuckoo" upsets the CooKoo Bird, who briefly appears to tell Mario to leave him out of their conversation. Luigi explains that he has not gone cuckoo, and is instead practicing his accent in case he sees the Queen of England, who is currently visiting New York City.

Mario's doubts that the Queen of England is going to come to Brooklyn. Luigi questions why, and Mario explains that she is high-to-do, fancy, and has no time to deal with little people like them, especially Luigi. Mario then states that men have to bow before the Queen, and proceeds to bow in front of Luigi, only for his back to get stuck. Luigi then has to help Mario get back up. Again, Luigi expresses his serious interest in meeting the Queen, but Mario tells him to just forget it. They then proceed to speak like British chaps about how the whole ordeal is a bummer, until the CooKoo Bird reappears, shouting at them to be quiet.

Later, Mario and Luigi are fixing something, when two British men meet up outside Mario Brothers Plumbing, stating that the Queen has run off and is now lost in Brooklyn because they took their eyes off her to watch a girl jog by. Just then, the doorbell rings, and Mario tells the visitor to enter. The visitor is revealed to be none other than the Queen herself, who asks Mario and Luigi if she can hide out in their basement. Luigi agrees, as he and Mario bow before her.

As the Queen walks down the stairs, she explains that the reason "we," as she puts it, came to Mario Brothers Plumbing is because "we're" sick and tired of being treated like royalty. Luigi asks the Queen what she means by "we," and she explains that since she is the royal Queen, she must use the royal wee. Mario then gives the Queen directions to the washroom, while Luigi asks if there is anything they can do for her. The Queen asks Mario and Luigi if they would let her be one of the common folk, just for one day. They then bow and agree to do so in response.

Later, the Queen pulls a pizza out of the oven, and announces to Mario and Luigi that lunch is ready. Luigi questions as to what it is, and the Queen responds by saying it is the only dish she knows how to prepare, which, as she calls it, is very British and very Italian. Upon placing it on the table, she announces that it is a fish 'n' chips pizza, which they cannot wait to eat. The Queen explains that she is royally pooped, and Luigi comments that she mopped the floor, washed and ironed their clothes, and reshingled the roof. Now calling her by the name of Queenie, Mario invites her to sit down with them, but she responds with their frequently-used line "Forget about it," as she feels that she has lived as a commoner long enough.

Before leaving, Queenie announces that she will be performing a short ceremony for sharing their extremely common home. She asks Mario and Luigi to kneel before her, and uses her scepter to dub the two of them as "Sir Mario" and "Sir Luigi." At that point, the doorbell rings, and Luigi tells the other person to enter. In walks a doctor carrying a large net, who is relieved to see "Liz," and explains that she was naughty for running away. The doctor thanks Mario and Luigi for looking after "the Queen," and proceeds to lead her back to her home, stating that they are serving tapioca pudding after dinner. Mario then tells Luigi that while Queenie might not have been a good queen, she sure made a mean fish 'n' chips pizza, which they proceed to eat.