Remix Files

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Skit title screen of Remix Files" from La planète de Donkey Kong.

Remix Files is a skit that aired as part of Donkey Kong Planet. As with many of the show's skits, it is framed as a trailer for an upcoming TV show. It is a parody of the long-running TV series The X-Files.

Summary[edit]

Screencap of the DKTV skit "Remix Files".
The Kongs are transferred due to the incident.

After a short montage consisting of the last 10 seconds of the X-Files opening, Agent Muldor and Agent Dana Loonie (corruptions of "Mulder" and "Dana Scully", the protagonists of X-Files) are shown investigating a park. Donkey Kong complains about the lack of UFO despite reports of there being one in the area, failing to notice the UFO right behind him. As he does so, a man is crushed by the duo's car due to Donkey Kong not properly using the hand brake. Due to the incident, Donkey and Candy are transferred to the "lamest department in the FBI", the Bureau des affaires bien anormales ("Bureau of Quite Unusual Occurences").

While Donkey and Candy are sleeping in the BABA office, a man dressed like a gnome enters and, introducing himself as OM, explains that zombies have invaded his front yard and that he cannot sleep. Candy dismisses the possibility as ludicrous, but the man explains that he investigated the matter and found that his house is built on an ancient Gallo-Roman cemetery. When the pair still proves to be uncooperative, OM threatens them by explaining he is distantly related to the president and that they should help him if they do not want to be transferred to "Plouc-sur-Yvette". They relent and agree to go on a "guided tour" of his front yard.

At OM's houses, the Kong zombies pop out of the ground and sing a song explaining that staying underground is annoying and boring, and that they like to party and play songs. Donkey Kong threatens to fine them for noise, but that he will "look the other way" if they tone down the volume. The zombies sing the final section of their song and Donkey Kong congratulates himself on a job well done while OM is visibly fuming that the agents failed to resolve his problem.

Song lyrics[edit]

French lyrics Translation

On en a marre d'être sous terre
Les vers de terre ne sont pas causants
Impossible de boire un verre
Quand c'est qu'on est des morts-vivants

We're tired of being underground
Earthworms don't talk much
You can't have a drink
When you're undead

Alors les nuits de pleine lune
On met notre plus beau linceul
On se raccroche les mandibules
Et on va tous se fendre la gueule

So on moonlit nights
We put on our best shrouds
We put our jawbones back on
And we all have a ball

On saute tous de tombe en tombe
On joue aussi aux osselets
On fait la bringue, on fait la bombe
Même si on perd tous nos mollets

We all jump from grave to grave
We also play knucklebones
We party, we live it up
Even if we all lose our calves

C'est pas une vie d'être un zombie
Car on sait tous que pour perpète
On aura pour seule compagnie
Que les fantômes et des squelettes

It's no life being a zombie
Because we all know that forever
All we'll have for company
Are ghosts and skeletons