“Whoa! How very, um... What's WRONG with you, huh? This is some crusty old dude! Do I look like I date old Bob-ombs? This is all wrong! Remember what I told you?”
—Goom Goom, Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door
Goom Goom is a Goomba found in Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door. After taking on his trouble, Mario discovered Goom Goom in the Pirate's Grotto's storeroom. Goom Goom was looking for a female companion, and, as such, Mario introduced his traveling companion Goombella to the lonely Goomba. However, Goombella rejected Goom Goom. Heart-broken, Goom Goom ran away, dropping a Couple's Cake on the way out. Goom Goom will only like Goombella; if Mario shows him a different party member, even if the party member is female, he will not like them and turn each one of them down.
If Mario shows him a partner other than Goombella, Goom Goom will have a few sentences to say.
- On Koops: Whoa! That is one attractive shell...but that makes you...a Koopa of some kind. Not only that, but you're a dude. This is all wrong! Response: Wow. I am not feeling attractive right now...
- On Flurrie: Whoa! Now that is a very glamorous woman, indeed... But you're kind of...old... And you're not even a Goomba! This is all wrong! Response: Well, I never! How rude! Go get your eyes checked, young man! I am a PRIZE!
- On the Yoshi: Whoa! Hey... You're petite, just like I asked... But you're a Yoshi! This is all totally wrong! Response: Hey, take a long walk off a short pier, you dork! Who'd date you, anyway?
- On Vivian: Whoa! You sure are cute... But, um... That whole goth shadow thing is a bit... Creepy! There, I said it! This is all so very wrong! Response: You're not really doing much to impress me either, bud!
- On Admiral Bobbery: Whoa! How very, um... What's WRONG with you, huh? This is some crusty old dude! Do I look like I date old Bob-ombs? This is all wrong! Response: Well, you're hardly my type, either, you young scallywag!
- On Ms. Mowz: Whoa! Well, well, well... This IS a cutie, oh yes... But you're some sort of rat! Close, but no Goomba! This is all so very wrong! Response: Mmmm... I'd stay out of dark alleys for a little while if I were you...
If Mario shows him Goombella, he will say this before he talks to her:
Whoa! Yeah! Wow! Yow! She's cute! REALLY cute! And that ponytail! Man! Perfect! Slam dunk, man! Yes! Suh-lam duh-unk! This may be a bit soon... But I have to confess my love to this girl!
- "That's Goom Goom, who asked us for help, remember? Looks like he's enjoying life here on Keelhaul Key, but he's a bit lonely. By the way, you don't suppose I'd qualify as a cute Goomba gal, do you?"
Names in Other Languages
||Cross between "Goomba" and "Casanova"
||The sign "AAA" is often used at the beginning in ads, but it has only a pratical function; Ads are always paginated in alphabetical order, and this sign's aim is to make the ad appear before the others