List of Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door quotes

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This article is under construction. Therefore, please excuse its informal appearance while it's being worked on. We hope to have it completed as soon as possible.

This is a list of quotes from the game Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door; the quotes are listed by character.

Contents

Admiral Bobbery[edit]

  • “You seek Admiral Bobbery? I haven't heard of the gent. Take your search elsewhere.”
  • “Harumph! What poppycock! What would you want with me if I were this chap?”
  • “Oh, by Blabberton's beard! Not you again!”
  • “By Blubberly's blotches!”
  • “Hmmm? Sniff! SNIIIIFFFF! Ah, that distinctive bouquet! You... You've brought it?”
  • "Gulp... Slurp... AHHHH! This glorious flavor, dear boy... It awkens the mouth!"
  • "So, the sea was generous enough to deliver me this one last grace, eh?"
  • "I have nothing left in this world now... Thank you for granting my last wish..."
  • "Now I shall be reunited with my dear Scarlette..."
  • "Fare...well... Captain...Mario..."
  • "HUP! HUP! WOT WOT?!? Yobbity yobbity...PIRATES! Where are those pirates?!?"
  • "...What, now?"
  • "Oh... Mario, old boy, it's you!"
  • "You have adventures in the afterlife, as well? Capital!"
  • "Ah. Hm. Yes. Well. Really? This isn't a tropical paradise for fallen sailors? Oh, right..."
  • "Now I recall! Mario, old boy... We still have work to do!"
  • "You'd better take me with you, I should say!"
  • "I'm sure my sea legs and explosive personality will be rather useful, eh?"
  • "Flavio, old boy... I must say... You talk rather too much."
  • "So in any case, Mario... About that Crystal Star you spoke of earlier..."
  • "There was a rather odd rock in the far east of the jungle with a skull carved into it..."
  • "Call it an old sea bomb's intuition, but that skull rock smells...suspicious."
  • Flavio, you old cash–grubber! If you want the treasure so badly, then why don't you find it yourself?”
  • "There you have it, Flavio! Fair and square, eh wot?"
  • “Great gobbledy! Your princess is no one to be trifled with!”
  • "We've made it, old boy!"
  • "Let's find that Poshley Sanctum that Professor Frankly spoke of, posthaste!"
  • "Confound it all! Now what?"
  • "What, now? You live here?"
  • "So YOU'RE the Sanctum Manager? I was told you were a detective, old boy!"
  • "Blast it all! We're too late!!! Quick! After them!"
  • “What's this balderdash, now?”
  • “Now, listen here... You're the Mayor, hmm? How could an official like you lie that way?"
  • "Old boy, I KNOW I saw a cannon the last time I was here, so do not lie, sir!”
  • “Of course I know all that, you great blowhard."
  • "But we must use that cannon to get to the Moon, old boy. And if we don't, sir... the world could end!”
  • "Circumstances?"
  • "Goldbob and General White?"
  • "Very well, then... We can't give up now, old boy! Mario, let's go find those two!"
  • "Rather suspicious building, wouldn't you say, old boy? Do be careful, eh?"
  • "Mario, old boy! Since these X-Naut ruffians are about..."
  • "Yes, I'm quite sure of it! The Crystal Star must be here, as well!"
  • "Our dear Peach must be here too, wouldn't you say? Let's find her, old boy!"
  • "Where in blazes are we?"
  • "We're below Rogueport! The X-Nauts used that thing to come here from the Moon!"
  • "We've finally got all seven Crystal Stars! Corking!"
  • "Now we can open the Thousand-Year Door!"
  • "Ah, yes, but... We still don't know where Princess Peach is..."
  • "Well, let's head back to Rogueport, eh, old boy?"
  • "Perhaps Professor Frankly can help us find our dear Princess Peach, hm?"
  • "Where are we now, hm?"
  • "Peach is in the Palace of Shadow?"
  • "But...what will happen to you?"
  • "...We will, TEC."
  • "Mario! we must save the princess! For that TEC fellow as well as ourselves!"
  • "Crockity! I say, old boy, did you just hear something?"
  • "Assuredly! ...But the X-Naut boss took her and made for the Thousand-Year Door..."
  • "Pardon?!? What-what? Dear fellow, you led me to believe the door would open with all SEVEN Crystal Stars."
  • “Old boy, isn't that Hooktail? The one you said you beat?”
  • "Mario! Look there! It's absolutely titanic... What in blazes is it?"
  • "Harumph! It's moving!"
  • "Hmm? What?!?"
  • "What was that?"
  • My dear, repellant woman, what do you mean by THAT?”
  • "Such Balderdash! It's quite obvious you are in for a stomping, so let's have at it."
  • “Let's leave these cads, Mario…”
  • “So, this lout is the leader of those X-Nauts?
  • ”Do be careful, old boy! This fellow looks rather robust!“
  • ”Mario, we mustn't serve evil! You MUST resist, old boy!!!“
  • ”Serve a witch? My dear Scarlette would be rather angry with me, I should think.“
  • ”Well, old boy, it was most agreeable that I had the chance to meet you. If it hadn't been for you, then my dear Scarlette would still gaze down on a broken Bob-omb. Let's meet again, Mario! And this time, let it be on the high seas, old boy!“
  • ”Leave it all to me, old boy! I shan't need help!"
  • ”I suggest you try a bit harder against the likes of us, hm?“
  • ”Rather a crabby sort, eh?“ (fighting Bonetail)

Arfur[edit]

  • "Did you check prices for me?"
  • "Perfect! OK! I'm ready."
  • "First, how much are they asking for Fire Flowers?"
  • "...I see."
  • "And for Sleepy Sheep?"
  • "OK..."
  • "And how about Tasty Tonic? How much is that?"
  • "...Wow! That's rough."
  • "Those are some low prices. I can't believe they're selling that low..."
  • "Hmm... Even if I try to compete with them, I don't think I can profit."
  • "But it is certainly helpful information. Here's your reward. Good work."

Armored Harriers[edit]

  • "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!? How does he know Mom has an outie? That jerk!"-Red Cleft
  • "We're gonna blend you up into a smoothie, pal! And then we're gonna drink ya!"-Red Cleft
  • "Oh, and one more thing... Only smelly stinkwads call other people stinkwads! Understand, stinkwad?"-Red Cleft
  • "Simmer down there, Bro. You! Stinkwad! You're gonna regret opening your yap, pal!"-Green Cleft
  • "See these bods? Solid iron. See these spikes? Yeah, they peneterate any substance."-Green Cleft
  • "So, basically, what I'm telling you is that whatever you try will be completely useless."-Green Cleft
  • "Think that over in the very short time you have left with a functional brain."-Green Cleft
  • "Bluh huh huh huh huh... Give up now!"-Red Cleft
  • "Well, stinkwads, you're about to learn about our skills the hard way."-Green Cleft
  • "Bluh huh huh huh huh... How'd you like that? We tried to tell you, but nooooooo..."-Red Cleft
  • "If you want another piece of pummel pie, have a bath and come on back! Punk!"-Green Cleft

Beldam[edit]

Note: The mysterious merchant who gives Princess Peach the Magical Map at the beginning of the game is heavily implied to be but never officially confirmed to be Beldam. As such, the merchant's quotes will be noted as being from "The Mysterious Merchant."

  • "Oh, Missy... Missy..."-The Mysterious Merchant
  • "Yes, you, Missy! Won't you buy something? I have a wide assortment of knickknacks and doodads!"-The Mysterious Merchant
  • "It is said that this box holds a map that shows where a legendary treasure sleeps..."-The Mysterious Merchant
  • "But the box has a magic lock on it that will only open for a pure and noble heart. As you can see... It won't so much as budge if one such as myself touches it..."-The Mysterious Merchant
  • "I know. If the box will open for you, Missy, then you may have whatever is inside. I am sure that whatever is in there would be of no use to someone like me."-The Mysterious Merchant
  • "So, Missy... Take this box in your hands and see what happens..."-The Mysterious Merchant
  • ”The honorable Grodus has need of us? Then we arrive without delay.“
  • "Mmmwee hee hee hee hee... Pray tell, did the princess tell you where the map is?"
  • "It wasn't my fault, truly! There were too many prying eyes there. Too many..."
  • "Besides, a strange old man showed up at the moment of truth, and we had to retreat."
  • "Why worry? All we need to do now is find this Mario and steal the map, yesss?"
  • ”Mmmmwee hee hee hee... Fear not, sire. I, Beldam, shall return with what you seek.“
  • ”Let's go, my lovelies! Marilyn! Vivian! Come! We've got a job to do!“
  • "Mmmmwee hee hee hee! Time to go to work, lovelies!"
  • "Vivian! You understand what we've got to do, yesss?"
  • "Oh, bad things happen all the time, Vivian. But you're right about our goals."
  • "If my information is correct, Mario should be coming down this road quite soon. You must ambush him here and get that map!"
  • "Hmmmm? What's this, now? Vivian! What's that you're fawning over there?"
  • "Hmph! Vivian! For shame! Picking up someone's scraps? Disgusting! Greedy!"
  • "But enough about that! Vivian, my dear pack rat... Bring out the sketch of that Mario guy you got from Grodus! Mmmmmwee hee hee!"
  • "Don't be ridiculous! I don't have that thing. You were in charge of it!"
  • "You wretched little worm! Blaming me for something you probably screwed up!"
  • "Oh, what IS it, Marilyn? ...Huh? What's that? A mustachioed fellow? This is no time for such nonsense, you great oaf! Save your games for later!"
  • "Now, now, where was I? You! Vivian! Don't tell me you lost our precious sketch!"
  • ”SILENCE, YOU DITZ! Such impudence! How dare you talk back to me like some rebellious child?!? It's clear to me that the only rationale your type understands is force... For your punishment, I'll be taking that necklace you just found. Yes, so sorry.“
  • ”Oh, what IS it, Mr. Mustache? I have no business with you, so scram! Right NOW!“
  • "Silence, you twit! Now's not the time to get hung up on stupid details! We must study this sketch!"
  • "Wow! This Mario guy looks so manly! Check out that bushy mustache... How handsome!"
  • "You know something, though, my lovelies? I swear I've seen this gentleman before..."
  • "AAAAAAAAAAAACK! He's Mister Mustache!"
  • "Ack! I don't believe this! Vivian! This is, without a doubt, all your fault!"
  • "I'll be dealing out some strict punishment later, my dearie! Oh, yes! I promise you that!"
  • "Silence, you squirrel-brain! Don't you cop that insolent attitude with me!"
  • "And about that necklace... I was thinking of returning it to you, but NO MORE!"
  • "AND...since you caused this problem, you have to figure out how to find this Mario chump!"
  • "Well! If it isn't Mario! Shiny mustache or no, you can't be too bright if you came here looking for us!"
  • "Mmmmmwee hee hee hee... And you know why? 'Cause we were waiting for YOU!"
  • ”Mmmmmmwee hee hee hee! I have no quarrel with you…but I simply can't allow you to hunt for the Crystal Stars.“
  • "And so, I'll be taking that little map of yours just as soon as I deal with you."
  • ”Mmmmmmwee hee hee hee! Those who seek names are often disappointed, but if you insist, we'll tell you. We are…“
  • ”Vivian! You nincompoop! What are you babbling about?!? It's Shadow SIRENS! I don't see three beauties! I see two, but then there's you, and you're PLUG–UGLY!!!“
  • ”It's just a figure of speech! Ooh, you've got some FIERCE punishment coming your way!“
  • "That's for later, though... First, we have to deal with this Mario and his friends."
  • "Let's do it, my lovelies...or rather, my lovely and ugly! Marilyn! Vivian!"
  • "The might of The Three Shadow Sirens will be more than enough to win the day!"
  • "It's most unlucky that our sights are set on you. Well, unlucky for you, of course."
  • "Marilyn! Vivian! Let's show them precisely what we can do!"
  • "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaack! You're tougher than I thought, Mr. Mustache. I guess it's time to stop toying with you, hmmm?"
  • "Hit him, Marilyn! NOW!"
  • "AAAAAAAAAAAAACK! Now it's...up to...you..."
  • "Mmmmwee hee haaaaaaaack! Oooog. Maybe we were a touch overconfident..."
  • ”Marilyn! Vivian! You lumps! We would've won if you pulled your weight! Both of you, prepare for a world–class punishment session when we get home!“
  • ”We have prepared a weapon that will bring him to a quick and certain end!“
  • ”…Or are you trying to imply that I lost it, you little lolly–gagging worm?“
  • ”Mwee hee hee hee! I heard that, my uglies! So, the next Crystal Star is in Poshley Heights? That's a rather nice piece of information! Thanks ever so!“
  • ”Normally, this is where I would deal with you and the homely traitor, Vivian, but something tells me that trying that alone might be unwise.“
  • ”The REAL Professor Frankly is sleeping off a nasty bump on the head in a closet somewhere! Poor thing!“
  • ”You and that traitor, Vivian have a date with ETERNITY!“
  • ”Shut up, freak!“
  • ”Alright, my sort–of–lovelies! Marilyn! Freak–Sheet! This time, we take out Mario and his goon–squad for good!“
  • My queen! You have returned to us!“
  • ”Yes, my queen… I searched for a pure maiden that you might inhabit… And as I did, I spread the rumor of a great treasure… Then I led the fools who had gathered the Crystal Stars here to open the seal…“
  • ”I am not worthy, my queen…“
  • ”NOOOO! My queen! Let's get out of here, Marilyn!“

Black Chest Demon[edit]

Chest Demon 1[edit]

  • "Whoa!"
  • "Hey! You! Can you hear me?"
  • "You can?!? That must mean you're the hero of legend!"
  • "Only the great hero of legend can hear my voice. Yeah! Everyone else...nothing."
  • "See, long ago, an evil spirit cast a curse on me, locking me in this box. I was bummed."
  • "I've been here ever since, waiting a long, LONG time for the hero to come by!"
  • "...So, yeah, anyway, big guy...What brings a hero like you to a place like this?"
  • "Oh, yeah? Searching for the Crystal Stars, are you, now? So you really are a hero."
  • "Well, you're DEFINITELY going to need my help if you hope to get those bad boys."
  • "So, first you should look for the key to this box. Then use it to let me out. Definitely."
  • "Well, I know MY vote goes to you finding that key. I'm sure it's around here somewhere."
  • "C'mon! Being stuck in a box is no picnic! I'm counting on you, O Great Legendary Hero!"
  • "Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! You brought the key! Yes! Oh, man, I owe you BIG!"
  • "YESSSSSSSSS! Thank...Ha! Thank NOTHING!"
  • "Whee hee! Foooooools!"
  • "Oh, BOY, did you fall for it! I BURNED you! What, you think I was gonna help you?!?"
  • "Instead, I'm gonna spread a little of the suffering I've endured in that stupid box!"
  • "Yeah! Sorry, but those are the brakes! I'm gonna cast an evil, terrible curse upon you!"
  • "Buggly-wuggly-WOOOOOOO! You're cursed!"
  • "Whee hee hee hee hee! Enjoy that curse, sucker! You got what you deserved!!!"
  • "You wanna hear all about the sweet curse I just dropped? Then listen well!"
  • "From now on, if you press Y Button in certain areas, you'll turn into a paper airplane!"
  • "Whee hee! Trembling yet? Suffer the rest of your days under my terrible curse!"
  • "Whee hee hee hee hee hee! Oh, I can't help but chortle! You're DOOMED!!!"
  • "This curse is pretty rough, I guess, so I suppose I owe it to you to explain it."
  • "Ready? If you stand on an airplane panel like this one, the floor will start to glow."
  • "Yeah, OK, you're on the panel. Now try pressing Y Button! And then, bam! You're a paper airplane!"
  • "The worst part of this curse is that you must tilt Control Stick Left and Right to control yourself."
  • "I guess if you got good at it, you might fly a long way...but that's the ONLY good thing."
  • "So, be honest. Isn't this curse just about the worst thing that's ever happened to you?"
  • "Whee hee hee hee hee hee! If you press B Button, you MIGHT return to normal! Maybe!"
  • "Farewell, you foolish fool! Whee hee hee hee!"

Chest Demon 2[edit]

  • "What the heck?"
  • "Hey! Guests! It's been a long time since anyone came here! A REAL long time!"
  • "...Huh? You heard me? Wow!"
  • "Wait a sec'... If you can hear my voice, you must be some legendary hero or something... Or not!!"
  • "To be honest, I'm sure anyone with ears can hear me."
  • "...But it sure is fun zinging people with that whole 'legendary hero' bit!"
  • "Hey, but seriously, folks, I was wondering if you could let me out of this chest..."
  • "I've been locked in here so long, I'm starting to cramp up like you wouldn't believe."
  • "All you have to do is find the key and let me out. Easy!"
  • "Huh? What do you mean? You think you'll be cursed if you open the box? Ridiculous!"
  • "Who would do that, really? Wait in a box and curse folks! A real slimeball, that's who!"
  • "But I'm not a real slimeball, and I would do no such thing! But that should be obvious."
  • "Look, if you help me out, maybe I'll help you out. You know, a little I-scratch-your-back-you scratch mine. Except in reverse order."
  • "Of course, you don't have to if you really don't want to. Like finding a Black Key is hard..."
  • "Hey there! Boy, I am SO glad you found that key! Unbelievable!"
  • "WHEEE HEE HEE HEE HEE! FOOOOOOOLS!"
  • "Why, only the most idiotic, pudding-brained dolt would fall for a scheme like that!"
  • "The castle's traps prevent anyone who's entered this place from ever leaving it!"
  • "No matter which path you take, you're fated to waste away to a slow, painful end!"
  • "But wait! There's more to this great deal! I'll throw in a free CURSE! No charge!"
  • "Oogly-googly-BOO!"
  • "Wheee hee hee hee hee! Now you're cursed, doofus! And it serves you right!"
  • "This curse is more cursedly curse-worthy than any curse that's ever cursed you!"
  • "For...this curse makes you like a piece of paper when you press and hold R Button!"
  • "Wheeee hee hee hee hee! What a curse! Who curses like me? NO ONE!"
  • "Now I shall show you just how frightful a curse it is! Go on! Press and hold R Button! Press and hold R Button now!!!"
  • "Wheeee hee hee hee hee! Just look at yourself! How embarrassing for you!"
  • "Eat a sandwich, skinny! Hee! ...Do you understand what this curse means for you?"
  • "Then farewell, you dumbbells! Wheee hee hee hee hee!"

Chest Demon 3[edit]

  • "Hold up! Hey! Who's there? I just heard a voice!"
  • "There's no way that people could be here! Seriously, that's just so unlikely!"
  • "...Huh? What's that you say? You've seen a chest like this before? Get outta here!"
  • "No, no, no! I'm not like those chests, I promise! Look at my eyes. Tell me I'm lying."
  • "I'm not, seriously! Just get me out of here! You'll see! Don't make me beg!"
  • "...What? Come on. You know how ridiculous you sound right now? I'm laughing in here."
  • "You honestly think I'm going to curse you when I get out? CURSE you?"
  • "Well, I did plan on doing SOMETHING to you, but it's not so much a curse as a... Well, a really wonderful new ability that will allow you to go to special places... Doesn't that sound nice?"
  • "Aw, come on, please? Just find the key and open the chest, OK? I know it's here somewhere, I just can't go look for it myself. 'Cause I'm in here. So pretty, pretty please? ♥"
  • "Oh! Thank goodness!!! You're going to let me out! Oh, happy day!"
  • "WHEE HEE! FOOOOOLS!"
  • "What were you expecting? Did you think a lovely lady would pop out or something?"
  • "Now I'm going to hit you with the king of curses, the cursiest curse ever!"
  • "Fear my terrible power! You will know the pain of having your body roll up!"
  • "BE CUUUUUUUURSED!"
  • "Whee hee hee hee hee! Now you're cursed, loser! Savor your suffering!"
  • "When this curse strikes you, you won't even be able to walk! That's how awful it is!"
  • "Whee hee hee hee hee! Your suffering amuses me! And so I laugh!"
  • "Now show me your cursed plight so I can laugh all the more!"
  • "Just press and hold R Button, then rotate Control Stick repeatedly!"
  • "Whee hee hee hee hee! Your pathetic misery thrills me to the core!"
  • "You must roll around like a silly cardboard tube! Oh, how you'll be laughed at!"
  • "Now... Do you understand the depth of your own agony?"
  • "Whee hee hee hee hee! Press B Button to return to normal! Don't forget, mush-brain!"
  • "I leave you to suffer, fools! Whee hee hee hee hee!"

Chest Demon 4[edit]

  • "YORK!"
  • "Oh, sweet, sweet salvation!"
  • "I thought no one would ever come! I had given up!"
  • "...What's that?"
  • "Spare you the prologue and just curse you already?"
  • "Now... How did you know I was gonna do that?"
  • "No seriosuly, hang on a sec'! Can't you just listen to my spiel for a little bit?"
  • "I've been locked here forever, bored stiff, doing NOTHING but practice this speech!"
  • "...Huh? I'm already the fourth cursing chest you've met? Are you serious?"
  • "So...you're saying you know exactly how this is all going to turn out?"
  • "Man, talk about a raw deal! You're a twisted little guy, you know that?"
  • "OK, fine, fine, fine, FINE! I get the picture, okay?"
  • "Sheesh! All I wanted was to see the face of some unlucky soul when I popped out..."
  • "Is that so much to ask? No. Anyway, what are you waiting for? Just open it, already."
  • "You know what the key looks like, Mr. Seen-It-All-Already! Some ghost here has it..."
  • "So just beat him, get it, and we'll get this farce over with. Come on, now, I'm waiting!"
  • "Yeah, yeah. Whoop-de-doo. You got the key. Party time. Now let me out, already."
  • "All right. Here we go... Since you're just itching to get this over with..."
  • "A-HEM!"
  • "WHEE HEE! FOOOOOLS!"
  • "You dopes fell right into my absolutely brilliant trap! And now you will SUFFER!"
  • "Oh, yeah! I am so EVIL! Bathe in the foul, awful... ...Wait, what was next?"
  • "Oh, yeah! You fools will be cursed forever for your appalling stupidity!"
  • "You will rue the day you opened this chest of DOOM! Now, you wretched guy!"
  • "B-E C-U-R-S-E-D!!"
  • "Whee hee hee hee hee! Now you're cursed, but good! SUFFER! SUFFER! SUFFER!"
  • "Wait. That's maybe too much. Are you all right? That didn't really hurt, did it?"
  • "Whee hee hee hee hee! Good! Squirm and suffer like socially akward worms!"
  • "From now on, in certain places, if you press Y Button, you'll turn into a paper boat!"
  • "Isn't that just GRUESOME?!?"
  • "Just try it out so I can see the depth of your humiliation! Feel the terror of your fate!"
  • "When you stand on one of these Boat Panels, the panel will feel your curse and glow!"
  • "Yes, stand here, slime! Feel the pain! And press Y Button! Become a paper boat!"
  • "Whee hee hee hee hee! Oh, yes, such suffering!"
  • "Do you feel the horror? Now you're a piddly little boat! Whee hee hee hee!"
  • "You float on the water! People will laugh at you! You will be spit upon!"
  • "...But it only works in certain places, so don't worry, it's not too bad."
  • "When you want to return to normal, approach the panel and press Y Button!"
  • "Now try it, worm!"
  • "Yes! Your pain is like a tasty banquet to me! Now, do you understand your doom?"
  • "Then off with you, you jaded, cursed boat guy!"
  • "Oh, and hey, listen... Thanks for letting me do my thing. I feel better."

Blooey[edit]

  • "Hey there, I'm Blooey. ...And this guy is a total liar! Don't listen to him!"
  • "You heard his story, right? Well, he did TRY to throw me, but he completely tripped!"
  • "And what happens? I end up landing in lava! LAVA, man! You think that feels good?"
  • "Thanks to him, you can stick a fork in me! I'm well done! My pale skin's crispified!"
  • "I'll NEVER forgive this guy! I'm gonna make him pay if it takes my whole lifetime!"
  • "That's the ONLY reason I'm still hanging around with him! YOU'LL PAY, LUIGI!"

Blooper[edit]

  • "Bloop! BLOOOOOOOOOOOOP! (Ouch! That HURT!)"
  • "Bloobloobloobloop! (Who just up and whacks someone's tootsies like that?)"
  • "Bloobloop! BLOOOP! (Someone with some serious moxie, that's who!)"
  • "Bloobloop! Bloobloobloop! (Would you look at that! It's some saucy mustached guy!)"
  • "Bloopity bloop! Blooooo! (He's in a WORLD of hurt!)"
  • "BlooblooblooblooblooBLOOP! (I'll give him a taste of the old tentacle trample!)"
  • "BLUH-BLOOOOOOOP!"

Bootler[edit]

  • Lady Bow, your beauty is like the song of a nightingale in the evening.“
  • ”Indeed… I feel you've grown into a fine young girl who'd make your ancestors proud!“

Bowser[edit]

  • ”Gra ha ha har! Bowser, the mighty Koopa king, has arrived! Hold your applause, minions! But now that I'm here… Kammy! You crusty old hag! Why did you summon me?“
  • ”Oh, go ON, Mr. Comedian! I'm just DYING to hear the rest of your HILARIOUS story!“
  • "I bet you are, Kammy Koopa! Now, out with it! Why have you called me here!"
  • ”Pbbbthbtth! Am I Mario's baby–sitter? I don't care what he's doing! Are you going to call me every time that guy blows his nose, or what? Sheesh!“
  • "Tuh-Treasure?!?"
  • ”The Crystal Stars, you say? They sound like good world–conquering tools! I want 'em!“
  • "Hmm... Yes... Very good... Continue researching this for me, you brainy hag, you."
  • "Do I... I LOVE Fried Eggs! LOVE'em! But...what a weird question. Why do you ask?"
  • ”AIRHEAD!!! A picnic?!? You MORON! This is no time for fun! See, THIS is why my evil plans always derail! Because you clods always goof off! AAARGH!“
  • ”HUHHH-WWWHHHAAATTT?!? Tell me you're lying, Kammy! How? When? WHERE? Who'd do such a thing? Besides me?"
  • "Under NO circumstances is ANYONE allowed to kidnap her without MY say–so!!! I will NOT stand for this! I'm going to Rogueport, NOW! I've gotta kidnap her back!“
  • "I'm pretty sure it's just up ahead here..."
  • "Good! Yes, very good. Then I'm off! These fools won't know what's coming!"
  • "Ready to roll!"
  • "Hmmph! What a wuss. Yes, hide, chickens! I have no need for any of you!"
  • "What I do need, though, is Princess Peach. Now, where is she? Tell me this instant!"
  • "Bingo! Princess Peach! Man, that was easy!"
  • ”I've found you, my princess. I, Bowser, the mighty Koopa king, offer my greeting!“
  • "Now, now! None of that silent treatment! You're coming to my castle with me!"
  • "Gra ha ha ha ha ha ha! I see! I see! How refined! How elegant! Awesome!"
  • "I suppose I could live with a silent princess! It might even have its perks, you know?"
  • "P-POSTER???"
  • ”Great. Just great. Now I look like the huge, mighty king of GUYS WHO TALK TO POSTERS!“
  • "Stupid, cheating Mario... Who would've thought that fool would be in Glitzville..."
  • "Uh, no! Nothing at all, as far as you know!"
  • "Hey! Did you see those little bite-size shrimps? What were those things?"
  • ”(You're BOTH too old! HAR!)“
  • ”(It's hag vs. hag! Awesome!)“
  • "Uh... Nope! Nothing!"
  • "Let's move on, shall we? You! Elder hag-thing! Where's the Crystal Star?"
  • "And don't try pulling rank again: your answer, not your age, will determine your fate!"
  • "Huh-WHAT?!?"
  • "That jackal! Both Princess Peach and the Crystal Stars belong to me! To MEEEEE!!!"
  • "If I find him, I'm going to finish him off once and for all! I SWEAR IT!"
  • "Gra ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Forget that wimpy blimpy! I'll be riding THIS, baby!"
  • "I snuck into Glitzville once before, so I know the way. No problem-o!"
  • "You go easy on your old limbs and take the slow ride on the blimp, Granmma!
  • "Huh? That don't sound good... What's that warning light? Oh, don't tell me..."
  • "AAARRGGHH!!!"
  • "Haaaack... Oooooooog... A-CHOO! That was terrible... I gotta get in shape..."
  • "...Swimming."
  • "... GRAAAGH!!!"
  • "It was terrible! You hear me? I swallowed a dang Blooper! I wanted to have FUN!"
  • "But forget it! It's over! Go get me some solid info on Princess Peach and the Crystal Stars! NOW!!!"
  • ”Uh, actually, it's YOU who's gonna spill every bit of info out of your big, ugly head!“
  • ”I don't know anybody named Gonzales! Stop speaking in riddles, you chicken nugget!“
  • "CRUD!!! Who do I have to flatten to get a Crystal Star?!? Who?!? WHOOOO?!?”
  • "Well, we're here! Now where's this stupid Poshley Sanctum? A Crystal Star's there, right?"
  • "Great! About time something worked out for old Bowser! In we go!"
  • “Wh–What? That's…disgusting! Get away from me, psycho! You can't have my horns!”
  • “…Whoa. I don't have a CLUE what you're talking about! You people scare me. Seriously.”
  • “Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! I am Bowser, businessman of legend! Fear my accounting!”
  • "DARN IT!"
  • "Whoa, baby! Awesome! It opened! Talk about lucky! I guess rage really pays!"
  • "Yes! This is it, Haggy!!! This is finally it!"
  • "Gwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! At last, I've gotten my mitts on a Crystal Star! YESSS!!!"
  • “What are you implying? I'm no little thief, I'm..."
  • "Bowser, the Remorseless King of Evil! So I'll take what I want! And I want THIS!”
  • "Bowser, the Shadow Thief! Not A thief, the BEST thief! I'll be taking this, thanks!"
  • "The great Koopa Koot! I'm taking this! Mess with me, and I'll bore you to death!"
  • "Whuh-WHAAAAAAAAT?!? A FAKE?!?"
  • You have got to be kidding me. You mean to tell me that LUIGI beat me here?”
  • “ARRGH! Those Mario Bros. are the most annoying brothers of all time!”
  • "Huh-WHAAAAAAAAT?!? The Thousand-Year Door...? What in the heck is that?"
  • "YAARGHH!!! Then I'm going there, too! IMMEDIATELY! And I'm gonna RUIN Mario!"
  • “What's the matter? All tired from battle, Mario? Yes! Easy pickings!”
  • “Gra har har har! What's a finale without a Bowser appearance? A cruddy finale, that's what!”
  • “Today's the day I flush a plumber down the drain!”

Chef Shimi[edit]

  • “HELLO! I am Chef Shimi, the culinary expert! Glad to make your complaintance!”
  • “So sorry! Cheep Cheep is my first language, you know.”
  • “Today's lunch is so amazing it will make your tongue cry out in shame!”
  • “Please do taste it, so that my passion does not wither alone in a pot of loneliness!”
  • “No! My heart cries out in the salty pain of misery! That was my masterbeast!”
  • “And now it is gone, and I am left with tears of horror in my eyes!”
  • “A mystery, you just said? ...And, uh, um, er, exactly... what kind of dish is that?”

Cortez[edit]

  • "Enough! I grow tired of this spooky 'OoOoO' business! I am a pirate, blast it! Pirates do not MOAN! I am a cold-blooded villian who robs innocents of life and loot, not a crying ghost!"
  • "And...you...are...after... My TREASURE!"
  • "And this! This is my ship! What are you doing here? Speak!"
  • “I'll turn your mustache into a bone polisher, amigo! Yohohohohohohohohohoho!”
  • "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh! I can't take much more of this..."
  • "This calls for something special..."
  • "Now you will see the true might of my spirit form!"
  • "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! MY TREASURE!"
  • "I am done for..."
  • "Yohohohohohohohohoho! You are foolish, amigo! For I am not dead!"
  • "Well, technically, I was already dead...but my spirit endures, tied to my treasure!"
  • "So you cannot do anything to me! I do not live, amigo!"
  • "Still, guarding this treasure for hundreds of years is almost as boring as death!"
  • "What? You are not even interested in my treasure?"
  • "Then whay are you here?"
  • "Huh?!? You want this, amigo?"
  • "This little rock over here? Are you serious?"
  • "Well, that's no big deal... Here, take it."
  • "What do I need one or two extra gems for? I did not really like that one, anyway."
  • "Well, that should do it! If you don't need anything else, away with you, amigo!"
  • “…Oh, what? It is you again? Did you forget something?”
  • "WHAAAT? What would possess me to lend you my ship?"
  • "...And who are you, anyway?"
  • “What are you talking about, muchacho? I do not rent this ship for pleasure cruises!”
  • "And even if I would lend it to you...this ship is magical, and it cannot move now..."
  • "The key to powering this ship is the mystical Skull Gem..."
  • "YOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUU! You have the Skull Gem!"
  • "...Old friend? Your ancestors stole that gem from me, you strutting peacock!"
  • "You must be very brave or very, VERY foolish to ask such a thing of me!"
  • “I should turn you into a pinata and throw a party on the beach!”
  • “RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGH! You rattle my bones, Senor Peacock!”
  • ".........Very well. I accept your bargain, amigo! Now, be very careful with that gem!"
  • "Ahhhh! Now my precious Black Skull will sail the seas again!"
  • "I was getting quite annoyed by the sound of cannons outside, anyway!"
  • "Now I can really strectch my bones and wreak on the seas like in the old days!"
  • "It's been a millennium since I gazed out upon the sea! Come! To the open waters!"
  • You fire cannons here…without my permission? You have nerve, mortal!”
  • “Hear my voice, spirits! Take their ship and show them the meaning of fear!”
  • "You... You have distinguished yourself in battle, amigo!"
  • "You are worthy in my eyes! You may use this ship, the Black Skull, anytime you like"
  • "Ready, amigos? Cast off!"
  • "That reminds me, amigo... If you ever get the urge to return to Keelhaul Key, just say the word, okay?"
  • "I will send you to the island faster than the fastest winds blow, comprende?"

Dark Bones[edit]

  • "Let those who would disturb her sleep fall into the depths of endless darkness..."

Dazzle[edit]

  • "My name is Dazzle! And I collect Star Pieces! The more I collect, the happier I am! So, guy, if you have any Star Pieces, I'll trade you my badges for them! Yay! Come on! Let's trade!"
  • "Which badge do you want to trade for?"
  • "I'll trade [Badge] for sweet, sweet Star Pieces! How does [#] sound? You need [#] BP to wear this badge, OK, guy? Are you sure you want it?"
  • "Hey, guy! Come on, now! Can't we trade some more?"
  • "What? You changed your mind? So...LAME!!!"

Don Pianta[edit]

  • "What's wid you, wise guy? I ain't too jolly today ... If you got a beef, spit it out quick or dis is gonna hurt."
  • "Ex-CUSE me? You want a ... You want me to give you a ticket for da blimp? See, now, to me, dat's funny ... You a stand-up comedian? No? You oughta be. You got some nerve askin' me for dat. I'm Don Pianta! I make cryin' babies weep!"
  • "Not so fast, boys. I like dis kid's gumption. He just came to talk, no? Dat ain't a crime. So we talk. You boys can wait 'til we're done before you rough him up, you got it? So, I gotta assume you gotta reason for wantin' a ticket for da blimp. Out wid it!"
  • "Oh look. Da proverbial mustache."
  • “Hey! It's you again! Y'know, the sky goin' dark was nothin' at all.”
  • “It was great for us! You shouda seen the way people were blowin' their dough!”

Doopliss[edit]

  • “Hey! Hold on a minute there, Slick! What are you doing, interrupting my 'ME' time?”
  • "Who're you calling a monster? What's your problem? Why do you need to pick a fight? I'm busy thinking up new pranks and stuff! It's not easy, either! Now get lost!"
  • “...Of course, you guys WON'T. No way you ninnies go away quietly, am I right?”
  • “Well, all right then, Slick. Fine. Yes. I turned the villagers into pigs. Big deal.”
  • “Well… You know, they're always so depressing and boring and dim–witted all the time... So instead of wallowing in gloom, I figured they might as well wallow in mud! HA! How brilliant is THAT? Now they're pigs, get it? Isn't that just sooo perfect? It's like irony, or something.”
  • “So...what? You got a problem with that? I guess you do. So let's play, Slick!”
  • “Yuk yuk yuk! I guess I'll get down and dirty if you're gonna play like that, Slick!”
  • “Well, my dear friends, if you thought changing villagers into pigs was impressive, then wait until you see THIS!”
  • “Yuk yuk yuk yuk! How about them apples? Now that's MAGIC, people! Now you're fighting yourself! Ha! I'm a dang genius!”
  • “Yuk yuk yuk yuk yuk yuk! Hold on... Wha... What... Huh? You beat me?”
  • “So, your name's Mario, is it? What a great name! And MAN can I jump, now! And you, you're so popular around here! But me, I get mobbed! I just LOVE being you! It's so good, I don't EVER wanna stop!”
  • “You got it now, Slick? Your body and name belong to me now!”
  • "Wrongamundo, little nobody! Who'd name their kid that? Prepare for doom, Slick!"
  • “Please, amuse me with one more guess! I just love to see people squirm in futility as they try to guess my name! Hit me one more time!”
  • “W–What did you say!?”
  • “NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? HOW? HOW? HOW? HOW? HOW?”
  • "Alright, kids, put on your fighting gloves! I mean... Whoo hoo! It's-a me, Mario!"
  • "Very good, my loyal ones. How dare this nameless nobody challenge the great Super Mario?!?"
  • “What's the matter? Fight with your girlfriend? Well, don't expect any sympathy from us, ghoulies!”
  • “See? Your friends ditch you, because you don't have the charisma of me, Super Mario!”
  • "How dare you try and do this to the great Super Mario! HOW DARE YOU!"
  • “I can't take this! Super Mario's hurting…”
  • “No… HOW?”
  • “Rats… YOU KILLJOYS!”
  • “It's me, suckers! Doopliss!”
  • Beldam will FLIP if I let that happen!”
  • “Uhh, yeah. My name's Doopliss, but…”
  • “Yeah, that's right, Slick! Eternity!”
  • “Oh, right… Sorry.”
  • “I SAID MY NAME IS DOOPLISS!”
  • "OK! OK! OK! OK!"
  • “Hey! Wait for me!”

Dupree[edit]

  • "Ah, bonjour, mademoiselle. Eet eez a beautiful day, no?"
  • "No, no, no, no, no. Not you, Monsieur Mustache. I am speaking to zee lovely leetle cabbage behind you."
  • "What do you say, my pretty? Abandon zis dullard and come away with moi!"
  • "Oh! Oh! Oh! Sacre bleu! Such brutal 'onesty! Such a sharp tongue!"
  • "Well, I retreat for now. If you change your mind, cheri, come find me!"

Flavio[edit]

  • "Who, me, you ask about?"
  • "Ah! I am called Flavio. I am, how you say? A trader. The richest man in Rogueport."
  • "Monetary wealth gives me freedom, yes, and freedom gives me wealth of spirit!"
  • "Emotion you say, ah? I suppose each life must experience some emotion..."
  • "Yes, the gradual process that forever alters the landscape of life, like rain on dirt..."
  • "AH! NOOO! FOOLISH FLAVIO! Not EROSION, you silly man! What I need is EMOTION!!!"
  • "Now that I am thinking of it, I once heard of the treasure of Cortez, the pirate king..."
  • "But now that I am thinking... A star-shaped stone WAS said to be in Cortez's hoard..."
  • "She is the S.S. Flavion. The queen of the countless ships in my personal fleet!"
  • "Ah, yes! Of course! Mario! Perhaps you could handle the exploration of this island?"
  • "Ah...Well, we cannot just sit here and sun ourselves all day like mermaids, ah?"
  • "Someone must get out there and look around!"
  • "This is not a thing to be argued! So! We'll decide this fair and square, hmm?"
  • “I growl at you like an angry jungle beast! I ought to.”
  • “No. Not fair. Flavio hate you all.”
  • "What? You want me to give you the Chuckola Cola? Ha! I must scroff at you!"
  • "You ask for too much, little man!...Except...WAIT! I already gave that to you!"
  • "What? You want me to lend you coins, you poor pauper?"
  • "I must scroff at you!"
  • "What on earth do you need coins on a deserted island ,anyway?"
  • "Think before you speak, you foolish thing! THINK!"
  • Mario! Take me… to Cortez!”
  • “We'll be cannon–fodder if we wag our tongues any longer!”
  • “We need to borrow your ship for the teensiest little while…”
  • "Hello there, you Mario! You are doing well, I must assume, yes?"
  • "Yes, having my beautiful S.S. Flavion smashed to bits was not a financial boon, hm?"

Garf[edit]

  • "You took on my trouble? You? OK. Then please find my key, and be quick about it!"
  • "If someone else finds my key, they'll be able to get in my house, so I'll stand guard."
  • "I think I dropped my key when I went to the badge shop, but I'm not sure..."
  • "Did you find my key?"
  • "Yes! My key!!!"
  • "I can finally get inside my house again! Home, sweet home! Thank you!"
  • "Please take this as payment for your efforts, all right?"

General White[edit]

  • "Prepare for detonation sequence!"
  • "Open inner shuttle!"
  • "Close chamber hatch!"
  • "Conditions all green! Standby... OK!"

Ghost T.[edit]

  • "!...So you've found me."
  • "Well, as you see, I'm a ghost."
  • "I'm cursed to haunt this place."
  • "A blanket?"
  • "Well, yes, the conductor did leave one here. He didn't realize that I'm a ghost."
  • "A yummy, sticky threat?"
  • "No I left no such thing. I can't even hold phyiscal objects like pen and paper."
  • "What? You just want the blanket, then?"
  • "Well, I'll tell you where it is if you do something for me. What do you say?"
  • "All I need is......YOOOOOUR LIIIIFE!!!"
  • "...No, just kidding..."
  • "Actually... I passed away in this cabin many years ago..."
  • "But I think my luggage is still in the baggage car here..."
  • "Inside my bag is a diary I kept since my earliest childhood days..."
  • "And my fear that someone would find and read it has kept me tied to this world!"
  • "I can't leave this room, so can you please find it and bring it here?"
  • "If you do that, I'll show you where the blanket is."
  • "YOOOOOOUUUU LOOOOOOKED!"
  • "EEEEEEVEN THOUGH I TOLD YOOOOOUUU NOT TOOOOOOO! NOW SEEEE WHAT HAPPENS!"

Gloomtail[edit]

  • “Who's there?!?”
  • “No one's disturbed me here in aeons!”
  • “Who dares defile this sacred place?!?”
  • “WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!? You destroyed my precious younger sister?!? I wondered why she hadn't written recently…”
  • “Quake in fear, mortals! For I am Gloomtail!”
  • “I will avenge my sister by taking your lives…and then gnawing on your bones!”
  • “GWAAAAH HA HA HA HA! My first fresh meat in ages… Allow me to take my time… And toy with you for awhile!”
  • “GWAAAAH HA HA HA HA! You are tough meat, my little tasty morsels! But how will you fare against THIS!!!”
  • “Gwuhhh… You are not the easy prey you appear to be… I would never be able to show my face again if I was bested by you whelps… So I will show you the true extent of my power!”
  • “MEGABREATH!!!”
  • “No… No… Is it true? Can I…expire?”

Gold Fuzzy[edit]

  • "Meeeeeeeeeeeork!"
  • "Hey, you suspicious types!"
  • "This is our place. And coming in here is rude, rude, RUDE!"
  • "Sorry, suckers! If you want a warm welcome, too bad!"
  • "Now I lunch on your head!"
  • "Meee-OOOF! Hey! Ow! You chumps are tougher than you look..."
  • "But I'm not through yet! Everyone! GET 'EM!!!"
  • "Meeeeeeee-uuuuurgh! You got me!"

Goomba[edit]

  • "Hey! Hey, man! What's up? Who's the hottie you got there with you?
  • "Ouch! That was cold!"
  • "Oweeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

Goombella[edit]

  • "You aren't going anywhere, Mr. Stinker!"
  • “Hey! What do you want?!? Get away from me, freak!!!”
  • “Never! I don't have anything to say to you creeps! Eww!”
  • “N–No! Stop right there, you weirdos! I'll scream! Really!”
  • "Like I'd go anywhere with smelly lunatics like you! Hmph! Not likely!"
  • "Battle time, Mister Man! Just find a way to beat this freak of the week, OK? Don't sweat the details. Just jump on him and hit him with your hammer!"
  • "Sweet! You KNOW that hurt! Wow, I gotta say, you're tougher than you look. Keep it up and you'll beat him in no time!"
  • "You've got him on the ropes! C'mon! Keep whaling on him!"
  • "You did it! You did it! YESSS! And you got Star Points!!!"
  • "Yeah, I bet you know, but you get these things called Star Points when you win battles. When you get 100 points, you'll go up a level. Don't forget that, OK?"
  • "Quick! This way!"
  • "Phew! What a bunch of loons! Let's just sneak out of here, what do you say?"
  • "Wow, Mister! You...totally saved me! Thanks! I have just GOT to give you a little reward!"
  • "My name's Goombella. I'm a student at the University of Goom. Nice to meet ya!"
  • "So, uh... Who are you?"
  • "...Mario? Wait, you mean, like, that famous guy? Wow! I can't believe I met you here!"
  • "Cool... Anyway, no offense, but it looks like you just rolled into town yourself. Right?"
  • "Me, I already HATE it here! There are freaks and weirdos EVERYWHERE! It's nasty! I mean, I know the place is called Rogueport, so I should have expected it, but sheesh!"
  • "I'd never come to a place like this if there weren't some legendary treasure here."
  • "What? You're looking for the legendary treasure, too? Seriously?"
  • “Whoa whoa WHOA, bucko! Whatcha got there?”
  • “Omigosh! Is… Isn't that a treasure map?! You HAVE to tell me where you got that!”
  • "...Princess Peach? What?"
  • "Um... Princess Peach? Did he mean, like, Peach, the Mushroom Kingdom princess?!? The princess who always gets nabbed by Bowser, the Koopa king? The one you rescue?"
  • "Wait a sec'! This is crazy! Princess...PEACH sent you that treasure map?"
  • "Whoa. This really intense. Well, where could she have gone, then, do you think? You think maybe she got sick of waiting and went to find the treasure on her own?"
  • "Oooh! Oooh! I know, Mario! Come with me! One of my professors is here researching that treasure. We'll him show him your map!"
  • "If we start looking for the treasure, then maybe we'll catch up to Princess Peach!"
  • "Great! We're all good, then! Let's go, Mario!"
  • "This is Rogueport Plaza. It's the center of town, and the main business district. It's a crossroads where many people meet, including more than a few shady characters."
  • "Anytime you press X Button when there's no one around, I'll tell you about where we are!"
  • "That's Goomther the Goomba. He's always complaining about being swindled or mugged..."
  • "If you press X Button when there's somebody nearby, I'll tell you about him or her!"
  • "So? Did you get all that?"
  • "First off, we gotta go find my professor. Thing is, since I just got to town myself...I, um, don't actually know where he lives."
  • "Hey, by the way, Mario... Have you saved yet?"
  • "You see that Save Block in front of that inn? Since we're here, you oughta save now. Just jump up and hit the block to save, OK?"
  • “Hey! What's your beef, pal? YEAH, I'M TALKING TO YOU!”
  • “Mario! You gotta wake up! That guy just stole half of your coins!”
  • “That is SO lame! Ugh! I HATE this town!”
  • "Oh, hi! There you are! Professor Frankly!"
  • "Wow, yes, sir! That's me! I'm Goombella a junior at U Goom! Goooo GOOMBAS!
  • "Mario! Professor, he's Mario! You know...the famous one!"
  • "We were hoping you'd tell us about the legendary treasure said to be below Rogueport! I thought that if anyone knew anything about it, you would, Professor Frankly..."
  • "Archaeologists and historians have to search for truth in those fairy tales, though!"
  • "Me, I believe the legendary treasure truly does exist! And I REALLY want to find it!"
  • "'To find the treasure of yore, take the seven Crystal Stars to the Thousand-Year Door!' ...You mean the Crystal Stars in that old saying that super-elderly people pass down?"
  • "'Hold the Magical Map aloft before the entrance to the Thousand-Year Door. Then the stars will light the way that leads to the stones of yesterday.' Yeah..."
  • "A lot of the lore I've read says that is this Magical Map is taken to the doorway...then it'll show you where to find the Crystal Stars!"
  • "But we DO have it, Professor! Or... Well, not 'we,' exactly... MARIO has the Magical Map!"
  • "Right on, Professor!"
  • “Oh, it is, like, SO sweet that you boys think I'm cute! Seriously! Yeah, guys like you make me feel like TOTALLY BARFING! Now get out of our way!”
  • "Ha! Later on, losers! That felt AWESOME!"
  • "Who knew the area under Rogueport extended so far? This place is a total maze! You really feel the grandness of that ancient civilization when you're down here..."
  • "Well, what do you think we oughta do, Mario?"
  • "So, uh... Wow. Just wow. What was THAT guy's beef?"
  • "Hey, what's the deal with this weird pedestal, huh? What could it be, you think?"
  • "Professor! What's going on!"
  • "Professor! The map!!! And what was with all those crazy lights?"
  • "You understand it, Professor?"
  • "A special move?"
  • "Petal Meadows?"
  • "OK, fine. So we'll go there. Does anybody know how to get there or what?"
  • "Y'know, Professor, there was another suspicious group asking about the same thing."
  • "Aren't you coming, Professor?"
  • "You got it, Professor!"
  • "Well, Mario, we're off!"
  • "Hey, Mario! You remember what Professor Frankly told us, right? You can press Y Button to change our attack order! If your HP drops, you can press Y Button to put me in front!"
  • "Well, here we are! The Petal Meadows, where folks say a Crystal Star hides."
  • "Woo hoo! Here we go, Mario! The start of our adventure! This is completely awesome!"
  • "Whoa! What was that?"
  • "Ooh! Is that a... Wow! Mario! Look!!!"
  • "Totally incredible!... I've never seen anything that humongous before. It looked kinda scary, too. Weird... Professor Frankly said this place was peaceful."
  • "Wow! Crazy! We just started and, and already there's intrigue! C'mon, Mario! Let's go!"
  • “Oh! One more thing, Mario! If you ever find yourself like, wondering what to do... Just press X Button and use my Tattle ability, okay? I might be able to look up some useful info that'll help us on our adventure!”
  • "Dragon? Hooktail? That must've been that huge thing we saw earlier, Mario! So it's called Hooktail, huh? Oooooh, scary name! Pffffft!"
  • "So anyway, Green Boots, have you ever heard of these things called Crystal Stars? We're on this quest for them. It's very important!"
  • "A pink house? Sounds totally hideous...but it should be easy to find. Thanks for your help."
  • "Ew! Are you kidding me? EW! Nice wig, you disco wannabe! Take a hike, Bozo the Dork!"
  • "What a total sleaze! Let's go somewhere else, Mario!"
  • "That's Koops, from Petalburg. He's got confidence issues... He's a...cringer, y'know? But he's definitely got a serious interest in Hooktail... I wonder why?"
  • "OOOOOO-K... That was weird... What do you think THAT was all about? Talk about issues!"
  • "What's with these numbskulls? Ow! OWWW! Watch it, Pushy! They're shoving me around, Mario! What should we do?"
  • “Are you like, the biggest floozy ever, or what?”
  • “I'm gonna Headbonk that burglar rat if she doesn't watch it!”
  • "Let's head back to Rogueport."
  • "Remember Mario? 'The bearer of the Magical Map shall unfurl it before the Thousand-Year Door. When this is done, the stars shall guide the bearer to the Crystal Star with pure light.' And it didn't stop there..."
  • "'Each Crystal Star shall point to the next...' That's what the books say. Which means...if we take the Crystal Star we found back to the Thousand-Year Door..."
  • "Exactly! C'mon! Let's go!!"
  • "These are the Boggly Woods. Kind of a dreamily pretty place, isn't it? It'd be nicer if it weren't crawling with enemies... But, watcha gonna do?"
  • "Wow, what's the matter?"
  • "Oh, I TOTALLY know how you feel! When I go out, I'm all about the accessories!"
  • "...Hey! Wait a sec'! You lost your NECKLACE?"
  • "I'm having deja vu, big time! I swear, someone just said they FOUND a necklace..."
  • “Using a Crystal Star to look good? You're so totally vain! You're gonna pay for that!”
  • “Yeah, as if we aren't going to spank you for like, the tenth time!”
  • “Opening the door for you? What do you mean by THAT, you total hag?”
  • “Let's leave these doofuses, Mario…”
  • “So, this chump is the leader of those X–Nauts?”
  • “We aren't gonna let that happen!”
  • “Never, ever give up! That's the most important thing I've learned from you, Mario.”
  • "Dear Mario, What's up? Goombella here! I'm still here working with Professor Frankly."
  • “We beat the Shadow Queen, but there's tons of Rogueport lore we still don't get... So, my research with the professor goes on and on."
  • "With the info I gathered from you, we have lots of great leads now, though!"
  • "Mario... Like I always said, every myth contains a kernel of truth."
  • "Speaking of which, know what was in the chest the professor recovered?"
  • "You're totally not gonna believe me when I tell you. It's..."
  • "A secret! Ha ha ha ha ha! But I'll tell you next time I see you."
  • "As part of my research, I did go back to many of the places we visited..."
  • "And I saw everyone we traveled with, too!"
  • "Koops is living peacefully in Petalburg with his dad and Koopie Koo."
  • “And, Mario... Guess what Koops wants to do, now!"
  • "He wants to become mayor of Petalburg and live there in peace! Can you imagine?"
  • "Still, it might just be perfect for him, come to think of it."
  • "He's so much more of an adult now than when you left Rogueport!"
  • "...Still, I think Koopie Koo pretty much has him wrapped around her little finger!”
  • Flurrie's back on stage in a big way, and the crowds are totally ecstatic.”
  • "And the play she's doing right now is the story of our adventure! Yeah!"
  • "It's called 'Paper Mario'! I saw it twice! It was totally the best play ever!"
  • "And somehow, Doopliss has joined the troupe as an actor! Who saw that coming?"
  • "His transformation skills are serving him well, but it still kind of creeps me out..."
  • "Oh, and little Yoshi? Yeah, he's fighting solo in the Glitz Pit!"
  • "He says he's getting pretty close to a title match, even! Isn't that just ADORABLE!"
  • "Oh, yeah, he's calling himself 'The Great Gonzales Jr.' in the ring, by the way."
  • "It's sorta silly, but kinda cute, too, don'tcha think?"
  • “Oh, and... Wait, I have to get this exactly right or he'll get like, SO mad at me…”
  • "He, uh, said he could 'totally take you in the ring now, so bring it!'"
  • "I guess he doesn't change... Isn't that too cute!"
  • Vivian's gone back to hang out with her sisters. Family is important, after all..."
  • "Now that the Shadow Queen has been defeated, I don't think Beldam's into evil."
  • "Oh, and Beldam also promised me she would never be mean to Vivian ever again."
  • "Yup, I think the three sirens are going to live pretty peacefully from now on..."
  • "But you should totally go visit her sometime.”
  • Bobbery goes out to sea every day now with Cortez... I think his soul has healed."
  • "I ran into him on Keelhaul Key by accident the other day, which was nice."
  • "He was so happy, I thought he was going to blow up on me for a second there.”
  • "You know... I bet Scarlette is looking down on him and smiling right now."
  • "Oh, and I almost forgot... Everyone on Keelhaul Key is well, and they say hello."
  • "Ms. Mowz is still running the badge shop in Rogueport, so she's happy."
  • "She comes over to Frankly's sometimes to visit..."
  • "But, as usual, as soon as she sets foot outside the shop, she turns into a badge-ninja."
  • "She said just the other day that she found some super-rare badge, actually."
  • "That's our globe-trotting, mystery-making, flirting, little badge thief, huh?"
  • “Oh, yeah... In my travels, I heard a rumor that Lord Crump and Grodus were both still alive."
  • "I guess that makes them pretty tenacious baddies, doesn't it, Mario?"
  • "But they've mellowed a lot, just like Beldam has, and I don't expect more trouble."
  • "Plus, I hear that Grodus is just a head, which really cuts down on mischief-making.”
  • “Speaking of miracle survivals... Guess whose favorite calculator is still computing?"
  • "He says he really wants to see you and Peach again!”
  • "Well, I'm totally rambling at this point, so I guess I'd better wrap it up..."
  • "I just wanna say, even though things got tough, I'm grateful for our time together."
  • “And... There is one thing that kind of weighed on me and I never got to express to you."
  • "See, I… Well… Maybe that's best kept a secret.”
  • "So, please say hi to Peach for me, OK?"
  • "'Til we meet again! Your friend, Goombella."
  • “That's Lady Bow. Wait a second! Mario! Exactly WHAT is your relationship with her?!? Tell me NOW! Hee hee hee hee hee hee! Just kidding! I always wanted to say that. But you DID go on an adventure with her, right? Tell me sometime, OK?”

Enemy Tattles[edit]

  • “That's a Goomba. Umm... Yeah, I'm one of those, in case you hadn't noticed. Ahem... It says here: 'Goombas are underlings of underlings.' ...That is totally rude! Their maximum HP is 2. They have an Attack power of 1 and a Defense of 0.”
  • "That's a Paragoomba. Basically a Goomba with wings. I'm jealous! Maximum HP is 2, Attack is 1, and Defense is 0. You can't hammer it while it's flying, but rough it up and it'll totally plummet!"
  • "That's a Spiky Goomba. ...A spiky-headed Goomba. What a creative name. That spike is super pointy, so it's better to hit it with a hammer than jump on it. Maximum HP is 2, Attack is 2, and Defense is 0. The addition of the spike means you'll hurt your feet if you jump on it. Duh!"
  • "That's a Hyper Goomba. Which means... Umm... It's a hyperactive Goomba. Duh! Max HP is 8, Attack is 2, and Defense is 0. But if this nut goes BIZZ-ZOW and charges up, his Attack power will be 8 next turn! So you'd better wipe it out between the time it charges up and the time it attacks! And if you can't beat him, then run away, OK?"
  • "That's a Hyper Paragoomba. It's basically just a Hyper Goomba with wings. Max HP is 8, Attack is 2, and Defense is 0. After charging up, you'll be dealing with moves that have an Attack power of 8. Once you damage it, it'll lose its wings and turn into a regular Hyper Goomba. Not that THAT'S all that cool. Even Hyper Goombas are dangerous."
  • "That's a Hyper Spiky Goomba. It's a Hyper Goomba with a spike on its head. Max HP is 8, Attack is 3, and Defense is 0. After charging up, its Attack power rises to an incredible level of 9. That's SCARY... Beat it before it attacks, or you'll be in peril before you know it, seriously. If only this book listed a way to dodge that attack..."
  • "That's a Gloomba. It likes dark, damp places. Max HP is 7, Attack is 3, and Defense is 0. It's stronger than a normal Goomba, so be careful. That's not a healthy color for a Goomba, but it doesn't mean it's sick or anything. So don't show any mercy!"
  • "That's a Paragloomba. It's a Gloomba with wings. Max HP is 7, Attack is 3, and Defense is 0. It's like a stronger version of a Parakoopa. And maybe that's all there is to it. I wonder if living down here ever makes its wings moldy? EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYUCK! It's too gross to even think about! Bleck!"
  • "That's a Spiky Gloomba. It's a Spiky Goomba that likes dark places. Max HP is 7, Attack is 4, and Defense is 0. Its Attack is pretty high, huh? I'm sure you know this, but try not to jump on the spike. I wonder if I'd look like that if I stayed down here long enough? ...I'd rather not think about that. Are there tanning salons in Rogueport?"
  • "That's a Koopa Troopa. They've been around forever! Gotta respect the longevity! Their shells are hard, but flip them over and their Defense drops to zero. And you know how to flip them over, right? Just jump on their heads!"
  • "That's a Koopa Paratroopa. Well, umm... It's basically a Koopa Troopa with wings. Max HP is 4, Attack is 2, and Defense is 1. I kinda hate that this guy gets to fly. Of course, you can stomp on him and he'll plunge down and be a plain Koopa Troopa. Yeah, do that, and he's ours! Stomp again to flip him, and his arms and legs are useless! Oops! Sorry, that's not true. It looks like he cans still wiggle them around a bit..."
  • "That's a KP Koopa. It's a Koopa Troopa of a slightly different color. Max HP is 4, Attack is 2, and Defense is 1. Looks like its abilities are just like any Koopa... So he oughta be a piece of cake! Don't go easy just because you know King K, Mario... That's what friends are for!"
  • "That's a KP Paratroopa. It's a Koopa Paratroopa of a different color. Max HP is 4, Attack is 2, and Defense is 1. It's attacks are the same as your average, garden-variety Koopa Paratroopa. So, just do the same thing as always: stomp on it, flip it, and drops its Defense to 0. My Headbonk is pretty effective against it, too. Come on! Let's get him!"
  • "That's a Shady Koopa. It's yet another member of the Koopa family tree. Max HP is 8, Attack is 3, and Defense is 1. The difference between them and other Koopas? They can attack from their backs! And, when they flip back up, their Attack gets boosted and they go totally ape! ...Wow! That's pretty tricky! No wonder they're called Shady Koopas, huh?"
  • "That's a Shady Paratroopa. It's a Shady Koopa with wings, obviously. Max HP is 8, Attack is 3, and Defense is 1. Knock off its wings and it's a Shady Koopa. Unlike typical Koopas and Psratroopas, its Attack jumps when it flips off its back. This also says it has a move that hits you and your ally at once. Is that possible? Uh... I guess the best thing to do is just beat it quickly after we flip it."
  • "That's a Dark Koopa. It lives in dark places that the light never reaches. Max HP is 8, Attack is 4, and Defense is 2. It's a bit tougher than a regular Koopa, so you won't be able to beat it easily. But, it DOES have the same weakness as a regular Koopa. Flip it over and it's helpless. Why do you think it needs sunglasses down here, anyway? What's the point?"
  • "This is a Dark Paratroopa. It lives in dark, damp places. Max HP is 8, Attack is 4, and Defense is 2. It's strong, but otherwise just like other Paratroopas. It's airborne, so try to ground it first."
  • "That's a Koopatrol. A Koopa Troopa who protects himself with spiked armor. Max HP is 6, Attack is 4, and Defense is 2. It attacks with its shell and with its head, then sometimes charges up for a fierce move. Plus, if you take too long to win, it'll call reinforcements. Yeah, sorta gnarly, huh? It's one of the worst of Bowser's guys. Koopa Troopas dream of being Koopatrols. ...Hey, and by the way, what do you think Bowser's doing now, anyway? Eating"
  • "That's a Dark Koopatrol. These guys just totally ooze toughness, don'tcha think? Max HP is 25, Attack is 5, and Defense is 2. After it charges up power, its next attack will be devastating. Try to survive it. It's almost like those red eyes are there to warn you just how tough it is... Or maybe it just doesn't get much sleep..."
  • "That's a Dull Bones. Sort of a skeleton thing. It was a Koopa Troopa...once. Max HP is 1, Attack is 2, and Defense is 1. These creeps throw bones to attack. Oh, and they build reinforcements, too! Attacks that can strike multiple Dull Bones at once are the most effective."
  • "That's a Red Bones! A little TOO red, I think. No fashion sense, y'know? Max HP is 5, Attack is 3, and Defense is 1. Unlike your average Dull Bones, even if you pound it to 0 HP and it crumbles... It totally might revive! Like a zombie! My advice is to get rid of all the Dull Bones, then attack the Red Bones. Oh, and one more thing! Once its friends start to fall, it may create some more!"
  • "That's a Dry Bones. It's a former Koopa whose spirit animates its bones. Eeeeeek! That's so freaky! Max HP is 8, Attack is 5, and Defense is 2. When its HP goes down to 0, it collapses into a pile, but it'll eventually rise again. Fire and explosions will put a permanent end to it getting back up, though. A Dry Bones will sometimes build friends if it feels it's outnumbered. If you don't take them all out close together, they'll just keep coming back. Let's wipe them all out at once, and quick! These things totally freak me out!"
  • "That's a Dark Bones. It's the baddest of the Bones gang. Max HP is 20, Attack is 5, and Defense is 2. When its HP goes down to 0, it collapses into a pile, but it'll eventually rise again. Fire and explosions will put a permanent end to it getting back up, though. Its HP is high, so it's hard to take it down. Like any other Bones, it sometimes builds friends if it feels outnumbered. It's a pretty tough enemy. You better take it and its buddies out all at once."
  • "That's a Hammer Bro. You know him. He throws hammers. Hence the name. Max HP is 7, Attack is 4, and Defense is 1. When his HP drops and he thinks he's in trouble, he'll toss a hammer barrage. Nothing about these guys has changed: they're tough as ever, so brace yourself! Dang! This book always skips the important stuff! How do they carry endless hammers!"
  • "That's a Boomerang Bro. This relative of the Hammer Bros. prefers boomerangs. Max HP is 7, Attack is 2, and Defense is 1. He attacks twice with his boomerangs: on the way out AND on the way back. When his HP starts getting low, he fights all the harder. Prepare for multiple attacks!"
  • "That's a Fire Bro. This relative of the Hammer Bros. spits out fire. Max HP is 7, Attack is 3, and Defense is 1. If you get hit by a fireball, you might catch on fire, so guard well, OK? When his HP gets low, he gets desperate and starts attacking like a fiend."
  • "That's a Lakitu. It's a member of the Koopa clan that rides on clouds. Max HP is 5, Attack is 2, and Defense is 0. It attacks by throwing Spiny Eggs. If you stomp on it while it's holding up a Spiny Egg, you'll take damage, so DON'T do it! Spiny Eggs slowly hatch into Spinies, so beat the Lakitu before fighting the Spinies. Aw, this book doesn't answer my real question: where does it keep all those Spiny Eggs?"
  • "That's a Dark Lakitu. It rides a rain cloud. Max HP is 13, Attack is 5, and Defense is 0. It attacks by throwing pipes at you. If it's holding up a pipe when you jump on it, you'll get hurt. And sometimes the pipes it throws turn into Sky-Blue Spinies. Whoa! If you only attack the Spinies, you'll never win, so go after the Dark Lakitu!
  • "That's a Spiny. Basically a spike-covered Koopa. Ugh! Looks painful! Max HP is 3, Attack is 3, and Defense is 3. These things have such high Defense that you can't even hurt them when they roll up. So, when they go back to normal, do all the damage you can, and do it quickly! If you flip them over, their Defense drops to 0. THAT'S the time to take them out. Jumping on them is just plain stupid, so try using a POW Block or some other item."
  • "That's a Sky-Blue Spiny. It appeared from a pipe thrown by the Dark Lakitu. Max HP is 6, Attack is 6, and Defense is 4. It'll totally charge at you! Sometimes it balls up to defend and store energy for an attack. If you can, beat it and any buddies it may have with a special attack."
  • "That's a Buzzy Beetle. Awww... It's kinda cute! Max HP is 5, Attack is 3, and Defense is 4. It's got pretty good Defense...and fire and explosions don't hurt it whatsoever. But, if you jump on it, you can flip it over and drop its Defense down to 0. Then it's at our mercy! Ha! Don't hesitate! Jump! Jump! Jump jump jump!"
  • "That's a Spike Top. It's a Buzzy Beetle with a spike on its back. Max HP is 5, Attack is 3, and Defense is 4. Like other Buzzies, fire and explosions have absolutely no effect on it. But, you can flip it over to drop its Defense to 0! I'm sure you know this alredy, but try not to jump on it. That spike hurts."
  • "That's a Parabuzzy. A Buzzy Beetle with wings. Max HP is 5, Attack is 3, and Defense is 4. I guess those stats are just like a Buzzy. Fire and explosions seem to have no effect, so don't bother, OK? If you flip it over, its Defense goes down to 0, so jump on it first."
  • "That's a Spiky Parabuzzy. It's a Buzzy with a spike and wings. Max HP is 5, Attack is 3, and Defense is 4. Hey! The same stats as a normal Buzzy! Fire and explosions don't work on Buzzies, in case you've forgotten. ...And this one flies in the air AND has a spike. What a total pain. So...you'd better use an item or a special move."
  • "That's a Red Spike Top. It's the most well protected of the Buzzy Beetle species. Max HP is 5, Attack is 3, and Defense is a whopping 5. Yup... This guy is HARD! It has really high Defense, and fire and explosions don't hurt it at all. If we can just find a way to flip it over, its underside has a Defense of 0... And that spike... What a pain! There's gotta be a way to flip it over..."
  • "That's a Magikoopa. Y'know, a Koopa wizard. Max HP is 7, Attack is 4, and Defense is 0. It'll throw a load of pain our way while using magic to help its buddies. What a creep. And when there's only one of them, it splits up into multiple copies to mess with us. Stop this thing fast or we'll be in a world of hurt!"
  • "That's a Red Magikoopa. It's a Koopa wizard dressed in red. Max HP is 7, Attack is 4, and Defense is 0. Besides using offensive magic, it can also use magic to boost Attack and Defense. When it's alone, this wizard will use magic to multiply. The fact that you can't tell which is the real one after it multiplies is super-annoying. I have to say, though, that shade of red is definitely NOT its color."
  • "That's a White Magikoopa. It's a Koopa wizard dressed in white. Max HP is 7, Attack is 4, and Defense is 0. It attacks with magic and can replenish its allies' HP. Better hit it first, huh? Oh, this also says it'll use magic to make copies of itself when it's all alone. ...Which is totally lame, 'cause then you can't tell the real deal from the copy!"
  • "That's a Green Magikoopa. It's a Koopa wizard dressed in green. Max HP is 7, Attack is 4, and Defense is 0. It has magic attacks and can also magically electrify allies and make them invisible. Oh, this also says it'll use magic to make copies of itself when it's all alone. ...Which is totally lame, 'cause then you can't tell the real deal from the copy!"
  • "that's Kammy Koopa. She's an evil old with who's always helping Bowser out. Max HP is 50, Attack is 5, and Defense is 0. She uses magic to raise her Attack and Defense or get electrified or invisible. When her HP gets low, she may also use magic to restore HP. Her magic is totally annoying, so take her out before you focus on Bowser. Still, you gotta feel for her, having to hang out with Bowser all the time... Or do you think Bowser has a harder time enduring her?"
  • "That's Bowser! But what's he doing here?!? My mind just blew a fuse! Max HP is 30, Attack is 3, and Defense is 1. He's uglier than I expected. He's got a poisonous bite, so watch out! It'll make your HP decrease gradually. Also, if he ground pounds you, you won't be able to use one of your commands! Just focus your attention on beating him down, Mario!"
  • "That's Gus. He's super-annoying and tries to take tolls from everyone. Max HP is 20, Attack is 3, and Defense is 0. All in all, he's pretty tough. Oh, and I've told you a million times...that pointy spear of his hurts if you stomp on it. I wonder if this guy watches people pass 365 days a year. Talk about a workaholic."
  • "That's a Dark Craw. Yikes. What a ghastly-looking spear-thrower. Max HP is 20, Attack is 6, and Defense is 0. Wow, that's some serious Attack power. You don't want to jump on it if its spear is pointing up. 'Cause that...would hurt. For a run-of-the-mill spear-tosser, he sure looks like he's got a POINT to make! Ha ha!"
  • "That's a Bandit. This scumbag tries to bump you and grab coins. Jerk! Max HP is 5, Attack is 2, and Defense is 0. If you time your guard well when he attacks, he won't be able to steal anything. Plus, the look on a Bandit's face when you guard successfully is priceless. If a Bandit steals coins from you, defeat him before he flees to get your coins back."
  • "That's a Big Bandit. Basically, a boss among ordinary Bandits. Max HP is 8, Attack is 3, and Defense is 0. Unlike other Bandits, he'll steal your items as well as your coins. Totally weak! If you guard well when he charges at you, he'll blow by without stealing anything. If he robs you, you won't get your item back unless you beat him right then. He'll run!"
  • "That's a Badge Bandit. He's a Bandit who'll go after your badges. That jerk! Max HP is 12, Attack is 5, and Defense is 0. He has high Attack power and HP. He sometimes steals a badge when he tackles you, so use your Guard carefully. And even if he gets one, keep your cool, OK? If he runs from the battle, you can always find him and reengage him."
  • "That's a Spinia. A totally weird creature made of thin, papery boards. It certainly looks unique. Nobody knows much about these creatures, actually. Max HP is 3, Attack is 1, and Defense is 0. Its attacks are super-swift, but it should be pretty easy. Just give it a 'Hee-YAAA!'"
  • "That's a Spania. A Spinia with spikes on its head. It looks meaner, too. Max HP is 3, Attack is 1, and Defense is 0. So, sorta the same as a Spinia. You oughta watch out for the spikes on its head, but otherwise, just whale on it. I gotta be honest, though, the way that thing spins makes me wanna yack."
  • "That's a Spunia. Its body is made up of springy discs. Max HP is 12, Attack is 7, and Defense is 2. It may not look like much, but it's pretty tough. It won't come at you with anything too weird, so just hang in there, OK?"
  • "That's a Fuzzy. What a hyper little guy, huh? Cut back on the caffeine! Max HP is 3, Attack is 1, and Defense is 0. Those things suck up your HP and use it to replenish their own! Isn't that the worst? I mean, EW! Doesn't that just sound totally gross? Anyway, guard against them by pressing A Button the MOMENT they release you. The timing is pretty hard to master, so, uh, practice up! These things really suck...HP."
  • "That's a Gold Fuzzy. Whoa, those are super rare! I'm serious! Wow! Max HP is 10, Attack is 1, and Defense is 0. Oh, but hey! Even though it's a Fuzzy, it won't suck up your HP, which is nice. I have to wonder though... How does this thing hide? Look at it! It's so gaudy!
  • "That's a Green Fuzzy. As you can see, it's a Fuzzy and it's green. Duh! Max HP is 5, Attack is 3, and Defense is 0. This is similar to a normal Fuzzy, so it replenishes its own HP as it sucks out ours. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW... That is just the grossest thing ever. ...If you don't find that idea gross, seriously, there's something wrong with you. The main difference between this and other Fuzzies is that this one multiplies. You know, I bet this thing would look great sitting next to a Gold Fuzzy."
  • "That's a Flower Fuzzy. Wow, what a totally pretty Fuzzy, don'tcha think? Max HP is 6, Attack is 3, and Defense is 0. This thing attacks by boinging in and sucking out FP. How uncool! We need FP! Once it charges up its own FP, it uses magical attacks. Better beat it before it does. Oh! I just got it! It's a Flower Fuzzy because it sucks your FP (Flower Points)! Duuuuuuh! Hee hee!"
  • "That's a Pokey. It's a cactus ghoul that's got nasty spines all over its body. Max HP is 4, Attack is 3, and Defense is 0. Look at those spines... Those would TOTALLY hurt. If you stomp on it, you'll regret it. Pokeys attack by lobbing parts of their bodies and by charging at you... They can even call friends in for help, so be quick about taking them out."
  • "That's a Poison Pokey. As you probably guessed, it's a poisonous Pokey. Max HP is 8, Attack is 4, and Defense is 0. If you get poisoned, your HP will slowly drain, so you may want to avoid that. I'm sure you can see this, but they have spines all over, so DON'T touch them. They may be smiling, but that doesn't mean they're happy to see you!"
  • "That's a Pale Piranha. You know about these guys. The famous Piranha Plants. This colorless subspecies is adapted to Boggly Woods. Ah, the wonders of nature! Max HP is 4, Attack is 2 and Defense is 0. If you try to jump on them, they'll totally chomp on you."
  • "That's a Putrid Piranha. It's a poisonous Piranha Plant. That color is totally sickly... Max HP is 8, Attack is 3, and Defense is 0. It bites, AND it attacks with super-rank poison breath. Breath mint, table four! If you get poisoned, your HP will slowly go down, so, y'know, try not to."
  • "That's a Frost Piranha. It's a cool costumer with strong ice powers. Max HP is 10, Attack is 5, and Defense is 0. Its biting attack sometimes freezes us, so try to immobilize it first. It's weak against fire attacks, too, so use them as well."
  • "That's a Piranha Plant. In fact, I think this is the strongest type of them all. Max HP is 15, Attack is 9, and Defense is 0. Its Attack power is absurdly high... It may look like a normal Piranha Plant, but don't be fooled! It's super-tough! If we get beaten by a flower, we'll never hear the end of it, know what I mean?
  • "That's a Crazee Dayzee. It may look totally cute, but it's a serious foe. Max HP is 7, Attack is 2, and Defense is 0. What you gotta worry about is its lullaby. That tune will totally zonk you out. If you manage to guard well, though, you may not pass out. Try to learn the timing. Oh, and when its HP runs low, it runs away, so try to KO it one fell swoop."
  • "That's an Amazy Dayzee. This mystical Dayzee is like, the rarest thing ever. Max HP is 20, Attack is 20, and Defense is 1. Since it has such high HP and runs away really quickly, it's almost impossible to beat. Plus, its lullaby has massive Attack power, so if we're low on HP, we need to scram. You gotta think hard about whether to fight or bolt."
  • "That's a Pider. ICK! They gross me out. Max HP is 5, Attack is 2, and Defense is 0. EWWWWWWWWW! Besides its normal attacks, it might spit three web-wads at you consecutively. You'd better have good timing if you wanna guard against its attacks. It also says here that the Punis can't stand Piders. So I'm not the only one! Just the sight of these things make Punis flee in terror. I know how they feel!"
  • "That's an Arantula. It's a spiderlike creature that lives deep underground. Max HP is 16, Attack is 7, and Defense is 0. Yeah... It's pretty tough. It'll spit web-wads at you. Sometimes it even attacks several times in a row. That coloring freaks me out. ...I'm kinda scared of spiders. So let's do this quickly!!"
  • "That's a Swooper. I bet they call it that 'cause of the way it swoops around. Wow! That's some AWESOME naming work. Seriously! It's pure naming genius!!! So, anyway... Max HP is 6, Attack is 3, and Defense is 0. Says here it hangs from the ceiling. If you can just damage it, it oughta drop off the ceiling. And then you can whack it!"
  • "That's a Swoopula. An airborne, bloodsucking, batlike thing. Max HP is 9, Attack is 4, and Defense is 0. As if losing HP wasn't enough, this little creep adds yours to its own! How totally, totally gross! Don't let it bite me, Mario!"
  • "That's a Swampire. It's a feared health-sucker that hides in the darkness. Max HP is 20, Attack is 6, and Defense is 0. It sucks health from its prey to add to its own HP. And that...totally grosses me out like you wouldn't believe. If you let it feast on you, its HP will get really high. Focus your attacks on it!"
  • "That's a Dark Puff. It's basically a tiny, mean thunderhead. Max HP is 3, Attack is 2, and Defense is 0. Sometimes it'll charge itself with electricity. Don't touch it when it does! Yowch! You know what I mean, right? Brzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzt! Shocking! After it charges itself, it'll totally zap you with lightning. Beat it as fast as you can."
  • "This is a Ruff Puff. Don't confuse them with Dark Puffs... Although, I don't think the world would end if you DID confuse them, but anyway... Max HP is 7, Attack is 4, and Defense is 0. They swoop at you or charge themselves with electricity before unleashing lightning. Oh, and if you touch them while they're charged, you'll get a shock!"
  • "That's an Ice Puff. It's a mean snow cloud that appears in cold areas. Max HP is 9, Attack is 4, and Defense is 0. It swoops down and uses cold breath to attack. Trust me, it's NOT refreshing. That cold breath can freeze us, so try to avoid it. Also, if we touch it while it's storing cold energy, we'll get hurt. Isn't that super weak? They're vulnerable to fire, so let's try that, maybe."
  • "That's a Poison Puff. Basically just a puff of poisonous air. Max HP is 15, Attack is 8, and Defense is 0. Its poison-gas attack is 10! These things charge you, but they also save up toxins and poison you with them. Scum! Plus, you can't touch them when they're saving up toxins or you'll get hurt. Lame!"
  • "That's a Boo. It's everyone's favorite ghost. ...Well, most everyone... Max HP is 7, Attack is 3, and Defense is 0. It's nothing to write home about on the Attack side, but it can turn invisible. If it turns invisible, we won't be able to hit it, so beat it while you can see it. Boos are kinda cute, but I sure wouldn't want to meet one in a dark alley. If I ran into one in the bathroom in the middle of the night, I'd... Well, never you mind what I'd do."
  • "That's an Atomic Boo. It's a giant Boo made up of a ton of smaller Boos. Max HP is 4, Attack is 4, and Defense is 0. This thing will try to smoosh us. It can also split up and send hundreds of Boos at us. And, when we attack, we might get so scared that we get confused or can't move. I sure wouldn't want to see this thing standing behind me in the middle of the night... Creeeeeepy..."
  • "That's a Dark Boo. Purple just looks...so wrong. These Boos are SO creepy. Max HP is 8, Attack is 5, and Defense is 0. Its HP and Attack are high, but they're just like ordinary Boos otherwise. So, just attack it like a purple Boo. Get it before it turns invisible!"
  • "That's an Ember. Sort of a pale-blue flame spirit. Kind of spooky. Max HP is 8, Attack is 3, and Defense is 0. Of course, since this thing is a flame, touching it will hurt. Didn't Mama teach you that? Looks like it's susceptible to ice or explosive attacks, though, so that's something. If you get hit by a flame attack, you'll catch fire, so try to guard well."
  • "That's a Lava Bubble. It's a flame spirit. Max HP is 6, Attack is 4, and Defense is 0. Its HP and Attack power may be different from an Ember's, but otherwise it's the same. Since it's made of fire, try not to touch it, 'cause it'll burn you. Apparently, it's vulnerable to explosions and ice attacks. Oh, and if you get hit by a flame attack, you might catch fire, so guard well."
  • "That's a Phantom Ember. It's an angry spirit born of hatred and confusion. So, um... I'm not too cool with this thing! B-B-B-B-Bleck... Max HP is 10, Attack is 5, and Defense is 0. If it attacks you with spirit flames, you'll catch on fire. Let's send this ghoul back to the grave, OK? P-P-P-P-Please..."
  • "That's a Bald Cleft. Basically, a rock monster with a swarthy-looking face. Uh... This is kind of mean, but bald guys...really just don't do it for me. Max HP is 2, Attack is 1, and Defense is 2. Yeah. This guy is rock solid. Fire doesn't even hurt it. It might be best to attack with, say...a POW Block."
  • "That's a Hyper Bald Cleft. Like Clefts and Bald Clefts, this is also a rock monster. Max HP is 3, Attack is 2, and Defense is 2. This hyper version can build up its energy, boosting its Attack to 8 on the next turn. It has low HP, but its body is rock-hard and impervious to fire, making it super-tough. It says here that item attacks are pretty effective. Beat it before it goes hyper!"
  • "That's a Cleft. A rock-head jerk with spikes on his noggin. What a rocker! Max HP is 2, Attack is 2, and Defense is 2. That hard head is a major pain. Fire doesn't hurt it, but other types of items are pretty effective, usually. If nothing seems to work on it, you can always just run."
  • "That's an Iron Cleft. That guy is SCARY. Period! Max HP is 6, Attack is 4, and Defense is...UNKNOWN?!? What's WITH this book? It says no attack will work against Iron Clefts! It says nothing in the world is as hard as an Iron Cleft, so its Defense is impenetrable. If that's true, the only way to beat one is to whack it with the other one... Running away may not be a bad idea at this point."
  • "That's a Hyper Cleft. It's basically a Cleft that uses charged-up moves. Max HP is 4, Attack is 3, and Defense is 3. When it charges up, its Attack power rises to 9. Couple its rock-hardness with its ability to charge up...and things get scary. If you're confident, you may want to try doing Superguards to send its attacks back... If you can't, you'd better use some items, or you'd better hightail it out of here."
  • "That's a Moon Cleft. It's your basic Cleft living on the moon. Max HP is 6, Attack is 5, and Defense is 5. Defense is high, as usual...and fire attacks don't work against it. If you can turn it over with an explosion, though, its Defense goes down to 0."
  • "That's a Bristle. ...Totally covered in spikes. They're so prickly! Max HP is 2, Attack is 1, and Defense is 4. AND they're impervious to fire. Even trying to get close enough to whack it with a hammer is dangerous! Seriously, its spikes will totally pop out! So, since you can't jump on it or use your hammer...you'd better use an item!"
  • "That's a Dark Bristle. It's an ancient creature made of rock. Max HP is 8, Attack is 8, and Defense is 4. You can't jump on it because of its spikes, and you can't approach it due to its spears. AND its Defense is high. You'd better take it out with special attacks or items."
  • "That's a Bob-omb. It attacks by blowing itself up. Yeah. Reeeeeeeal smart. Max HP is 4, Attack is 2, and Defense is 1. A Bob-omb will get totally mad if you damage it. They have like, super-short fuses. When it gets mad, it'll charge and explode on its next turn. THAT attack...really hurts. Oh, and if its mad, it'll blow up at the slightest contact. So don't attack directly! Attack it from a step away with a hammer or hit it with something hard, like a shell."
  • "That's a Bulky Bob-omb. I think it's like other Bob-ombs...but it's huge! Max HP is 6, Attack is 2, and Defense is 1. It's weird... It never attacks, but once its fuse is lit, it'll blow up on its own eventually. I don't mind it taking itself out of the battle, but that explosion hurts us, too! Oh, and when it powers up, that Attack power is 8, so watch out! Fire and explosions light its fuse, so I guess setting it off early is one strategy... You can run, too, but if you're gonna fight, beat it before it goes off!"
  • "That's a Bob-ulk. That's...easily the biggest Bob-omb I've ever seen! Max HP is 10, Attack is 4, and Defense is 2. It won't attack, but once its fuse is lit, it'll explode after a while. So the problem is...how to beat it before it goes off. I mean, its bomb attack has a power of 16! That's no joke. Seriously, watch out for that. Just go all out to beat it. Pull out all the stops. Or you could just set it off early with fire or explosions. Your call."
  • "That's a Chain-Chomp. I'd hate to get chomped by those teeth. They look nasty. Max HP is 7, Attack is 6, and Defense is 5. Its body is hard, so most attacks won't do much. Plus, you can't damage it with fire and ice attacks. You can freeze it, though. Luckily, it has low HP, so you can take it down with a special move or an item. Chomp-Chomps are like, so super-pumped all the time. Don't they ever get tired?"
  • "That's a Red Chomp. It's a rabid, red, biting, chewing, chomping fool! Max HP is 6, Attack is 5, and Defense is 3. It's attacks are so powerful, we could be in a world of hurt if we don't beat it fast! ...Which is why it's really, REALLY lame that its Defense is so high. Its HP is pretty low, though, so items and special moves might just work... Just look at that color! Think someone painted it after it fell asleep at a party?"
  • "That's a Bill Blaster. It's the cannon that shoots Bullet Bills. Max HP is 5, Defense is 2. It doesn't attack directly, but shoots Bullet Bills at you. I know the Bullet Bills are annoying, but take out the Bill Blaster first, trust me. Arrgh! How many of those things will it shoot at us?!? YOU"RE SO ANNOYING!"
  • "That's a Bullet Bill. It attacks after being shot from a Bill Blaster. Max HP is 2, Attack is 4, and Defense is 1. Take care of it quickly, or it'll totally whale into you, mosh-pit style! Use those Action Commands and take it out!"
  • "That's a B. Bill Blaster. It fires Bombshell bills. Sorry about the abbreviation. Max HP is 10, Defense is 4. It's really, really tough. Yeah, hard to hurt this guy. Thing is, if you don't take it out, it'll keep shooting Bombshell Bills at you. So, you gotta find a way to beat it, and fast!"
  • "That's a Bombshell Bill. B. Bill Blasters shoot these things repeatedly. Max HP is 3, Attack is 6, and Defense is 2. Its Attack is high, but its HP is low, so take it out before it takes YOU out! Then again, if you focus on these guys, you'll never win. Smack that B. Bill Blaster!"
  • "That's a Dark Wizzerd. It's a part-machine, part-organic, centuries-old thing. Max HP is 10, Attack is 5, and Defense is 2. It uses magic to attack and to alter your condition, so stay on guard. If there's only one left, it'll multiply itself to confuse you. I know they look totally goofy, but they're actually pretty tough enemies."
  • "That's a Wizzerd. It's a part-machine, part-organic, centuries-old thing. Max HP is 10, Attack is 6, and Defense is 3. It uses magic to attack, heal, and alter your condition, so stay on guard. It's Defense is high, but we can totally take this thing!"
  • "That's an Elite Wizzerd. This is the top of the heap for half-machine organisms. Max HP is 12, Attack is 8, and Defense is 5. You can probably guess this, but it uses various magic moves in battle. And, if it's alone, it'll create illusions of itself. It has no real weakness. So just use whatever you have to beat it, OK? Let's go, Mario!"
  • "That's a Blooper...and a really super-humongous one, too! EWWWW! It's all slimy!!! I just can't STAND slimy, nasty, icky things. G-R-O-S-S, gross! Max HP is 12, Attack is 1, and Defense is 0. It attacks with tentacles and ink. Once you damage both its tentacles, it'll fall down... And then it's attack time! By the way, the tentacles each have 3 HP. Now relax and house on that slimy, nasty Blooper!"
  • "That's Hooktail! Max HP is 20, Attack is 5, and Defense is 1. It'll stomp and munch on you, and it has a more dragonish attack: stinky, fiery breath! It's tricky, especially when it's losing, and it'll try to fool you into being merciful. Oh, yeah, and one more thing. It hates things that start with 'cr' and end with 'icket'. Supposedly, there's something related to that somewhere in this castle. Did we find it?"
  • "That's Gloomtail. I think he's Hooktail's brother. I see the family resemblance... Max HP is 80, Attack is 8, and Defense is 2. He'll bite or stomp you, and he may also breathe poison on you. Great. When his HP gets low, he may throw in some other attacks, as well. Wouldn't surprise me. especially watch out for his megabreathe move, 'cause the word is, it's GNARLY! He also store power for some attacks, so use Vivian to hide to avoid those."
  • "That's Bonetail. He's the oldest brother of Hooktail. ...So old he's just bones, in fact. Wow. Now THAT'S old! His body's Max HP is 200, his Attack is 8, and his Defense is 2. He has various breaths that might confuse us or put us to sleep. When his HP gets low, he'll recover...or reanimate, as the case may be. He's probably stronger than the last boss, seriously! Let's do this right!"
  • "That's Rawk Hawk! He flips, flaps, and slaps! ...That's what the book says. Max HP is 30, Attack is 3, and Defense is 1. He's really good at aerial maneuvers, but other than that, he's pretty...meh. One thing you should know is that Rawk Hawk NEVER fights above the board. Carelessness leads to lifelessness, y'know!"
  • "That's Macho Grubba. He's Grubba all souped-up on Crystal Star power. Max HP is 60, Attack is 4, and Defense is 0. His attack pattern is simple: first he increases the number of times he can attack... Then he powers himself up with all sorts of crazy, power-uppy moves. So, it's pretty important to pay attention to how he's powered himself up. The craziest thing about this muscle head is that he used to be that chubby Grubba. I guess the Crystal Stars really ARE powerful!"
  • "...??? Wow, how totally bizarre... This thing isn't listed in here. There's a monster in here that looks like this thing... But it doesn't list a name. Max HP is 40, Attack is 4, and Defense is 0. It's apparently really good at transforming itself and other things. Maybe it used that power to turn the villages into pigs! This thing is a real jerk!"
  • "That's Cortez! He's the dreaded pirate spirit who haunts the island! Max HP is 20, Attack is 4, and Defense is 1. His HP might seem low, but he's a spirit, so even when his HP hits 0, he'll come back! Plus, he has tons of different attacks. He's as tough and scary as he looks. I'd say just keep damaging him, and sooner or later he'll go down for good! Let's give this tormented spirit some eternal rest!"
  • "That's a Smorg. Lots of Smorgs gathered to create this huge monster. Max HP is 50, attack is 5, and Defense is 1. It attacks with tentacles. Defeating the tentacles will drop the body's Defense to 0, making it easier to attack. The tentacles will regenerate, but use that time to deal a ton of damage, OK? It may also take other forms with higher Attack powers. I don't really know. Let's just hurry and beat this thing down so we can save those trapped passengers!"
  • "That's an X-Naut. Says here it's classified as an 'enemy combatant.' That description stinks... You think it means they're just low-level foot soldiers? Max HP is 4, Attack is 3, and Defense is 0. They drink these potions that make them all big and burly...then they attack! One's easy, but if there's two or more, better watch out! Use special moves and items!"
  • "That's an X-Naut PhD. Guys like this invent all the annoying things we fight. Max HP is 9, Attack is 4, and Defense is 0. He likes to throw beakers of chemicals. The chemicals do all kinds of stuff, like making things huge or burning people. He may also use potions to heal himself or make himself impossible to hit. X-Naut PhDs are REALLY annoying, so take them out before they boosts themselves."
  • "That's an Elite X-Naut. This guy is the creme de la creme of the X-Nauts. Max HP is 10, Attack is 5, and Defense is 1. He'll use regular attacks as well as boosting his power or size. Elite X-Nauts are tough, but you just have to smack away until they go down."
  • "That's a Yux. Says here that it's a creature created in the X-Naut labs. Max HP is 3, Attack is 2, and Defense is 0. According to this, attacks and items won't affect it if it has Mini-Yux around it. So, if any Mini-Yux appear, take those out first. Duh!"
  • "That's a Mini-Yux. A creature made to protect a Yux, it can split into two. Max HP is 1, Attack is 0, and Defense is 0. These twerps are the reason you sometimes can't do any damage to the main Yux. They're a pain, but you HAVE to beat them before the Yux. Flurrie's pretty effective..."
  • "That's a Z-Yux. It's a genetic improvement on the original Yux. Max HP is 7, Attack is 4, and Defense is 0. Multiple Mini-Z-Yux will appear to protect the main unit, as you'd expect. Sometimes they also restore HP to the main unit, which really burns me up! It doesn't have much HP, but those barriers often protect it from attacks."
  • "That's a Mini-Z-Yux. It lives to protect the Z-Yux. There can be as many as 4. Max HP is 2, Attack is 0, and Defense is 0. If you don't clear these guys out, you'll never be able to attack the Z-Yux. Using a multiple-strike attack to take them out all at once is a totally good idea. I mean, I respect them for protecting their...whatever, but they get NO mercy!"
  • "That's an X-Yux. I hear this is read as 'Cross'-Yux, not as 'Ex'-Yux. Anyway, this is a new Yux designed to protect extra-important areas... They were designed to be unbeatable. They're not. Max HP is 10, Attack is 3, and Defense is 1. It can produce two Mini-X-Yuxes at once. AND, it has an excellent success rate of immobilizing opponents. We gotta do something about that if we're gonna win."
  • "That's a Mini-X-Yux. It lives to protect the X-Yux. Up to 4 can guard the X-Yux. Max HP is 1, Attack is 0, and Defense is 0. You can't attack the main unit until you clear these annoying pests out. So use multiple-strike attacks to take them out all at once!"
  • "That's a Grodus X. It protects Grodus. Max HP is 3, Attack is 4, and Defense is 0. This guy is no problem on its own, but Grodus's Defense goes up for each of them. When he has four surrounding him, we won't be able to damage him at all. So let's dish out some hurt to them while we pound on Grodus. Got it?"
  • "That's Magnus Von Grapple. It's a giant robot built by the X-Nauts. Lord Crump drives it. Max HP is 30, Attack is 2, and Defense is 1. Its most effective attack is one that takes advantage of its size: a smothering stomp. It can also shoot out its fists, which do these super-gnarly rocket punches. Its fists have Max HP of 2, an Attack of 4, and Defense of 0. Its fists are super powerful, so it's best to knock them down fast. The thing about this robot is I can't tell if it looks cool, or really, REALLY stupid..."
  • "Ah! Magnus Von Grapple 2.0. The upgraded version of Magnus Von Grapple. Max HP is 70, Attack is 6, and Defense is 2. Its basic attack is a drill that drops from above. It also sometimes releases its fists for flying X-Punches. Each X-Punch has a Max HP of 5, and Attack of 9, and a Defense of 0. When those fists are flying, you may get attacked by the fists and body in one turn... Take care of those low-HP fists early on, trust me. When the body's HP gets low, it'll also fire machine guns and who know what else. It may not look too different from the last version, but it's much stronger, so be careful! I still think the whole design is a little ridiculous, though..."
  • "That's Lord Crump. Not this guy again... Ugh. Max HP is 30, Attack is 3, and Defense is 0. He just attacks normally, so don't worry much about him... But...those X-Nauts all around him are a force to be reckoned with. They're going to attack us with all kinds of weird moves, I can just FEEL it! If we take out their leader, though, they won't have the focus to attack. Get Crump!"
  • "That's Grodus! He's the head of the X-Nauts who kidnapped Peach. Max HP is 50, Attack is 7, and Defense is 1. But...when he has Grodus Xs surrounding him, his Defense will go up by that number. He may also use electricity, fire, and time-stopping magic. That doesn't sound good! Still, he's a totally weird guy. Why's he so intense and serious all the time? I guess we don't have time to worry about that. Let's beat him and find Peach!"
  • "That's Beldam. She's the oldest sister, the leader of the Shadow Sirens. Max HP is 9, Attack is 1, and Defense 0. But her blizzard attack has an Attack of 2. She can make her partners big and make us tiny, and attacks with weird magic. The worst thing about her is that sinister snicker! She sounds so totally evil! I mean, she's just the sort of person you want to avoid like the plague, y'know?"
  • "That's Marilyn. She's a Shadow Siren. Beldam's younger sister. Max HP is 12, Attack is 2, and Defense is 0. She charges up her attacks occasionally. Says here that she's the toughest of the sisters, so it might be best to defeat her first, huh? Other than that, she doesn't have any particularly outstanding characteristics."
  • "That's Vivian. She's the youngest of the three Shadow Sirens. Max HP is 10, Attack is 1, and Defense is 0. She doesn't seem all that noteworthy. Uh... She is kinda cute, I guess... She might even be cuter than I am... I guess... ...Uh... What am I thinking?"
  • "Omigosh, what happened? I can't believe Peach got possessed! That's AWFUL! Now she's...the Shadow Queen. The demon that destroyed this town 1,000 years ago. Max HP is 150, Attack is 7, and Defense is 0. She'll unleash big lightning attacks. She'll also use magic to raise Attack and Defense, or to absorb HP... She might even try to drag us into the darkness... I don't feel good about attacking Peach, but we have to do SOMETHING! Don't think of it as Peach! We just have to fight to the end! C'MON!!!"

Goomfrey[edit]

  • "!"
  • "The package... Yep, that's it."
  • "I'll dispose of this in a way no one will ever find it. Tell McGoomba I said so."
  • "And do me a favor: forget all this. You hear me? It never happened. For your sake."
  • "We never spoke! Forget everything!"
  • "And when you give McGoomba my message, he'll give you your compensation."
  • "Remember: this deal won't be done until you give my message to McGoomba."

Goom Goom[edit]

  • "Hey, thanks for taking on my trouble. All the way out here, too. I know it's far."
  • "I came out here to enjoy island life, but now that I'm here, I just feel lonely..."
  • "There is no one to date, I mean, NO ONE. I'm chatting up sea turtles, here."
  • "So all I need you to do is introduce me to a nice girl. That's it. A girl. OK?"
  • "I guess my type would be...Petite, younger than me, and pretty, not drop-dead hot."
  • "Yeah, a cute little goomba gal would be just perfect...Please help me. Please."

Grubba / Macho Grubba[edit]

  • “Who 'n tarnation 're you, son? Who let you in?!? This is Grubba's office!”
  • “Yup! That's me, Grubba!”
  • “What's that, now? An athlete, huh? Ya wanna become a fighter?”
  • “Hooo–weee! I guess that do change a thang or two, son!”
  • “When I was just a poor pup, I didn't give a Pokey's patoot for fancy, big–city ways!”
  • “Bein' rich an' famous is diggety–dang DYNAMITE!”
  • “One day, you'll look back on all them small–dreamers 'n LAUGH!”
  • “Wait a diddly–darn minute there!”
  • “Boy howdy, Gonzales! Fixin' for a fight, huh? Well, alrighty then!”
  • “Well, dog my cats! It's the Great Gonzales!”
  • "Get yerselves ready to... BAAAATTLE!"
  • “First to enter the ring... The Feral Nuclear Reactor! RAAAAAWWWK HAAAAAWWWK!
  • And now for our challenger... The Merciless Executioner... The GRRREAT GOOONZALES!!!”
  • “I'll tell you what I saw, folks… A whuppin'!”
  • “Maybe I'm ol'-fashioned, but I care about my fighters, darn it!”
  • “Long's I got that baby workin' fer me, this ol' bod ain't EVER gonna get weak!!”
  • “I'd better keep this room locked tighter than a peanut–butter jar at a squirrel convention!”
  • “GREAT–GALLOPIN' GULPITS! How in tarnation did YOU get in here, son?”
  • “Well, slap me and call me Sassafras! Yer even starin' at my secret paper!”
  • “Whoa, nelly! This ain't good…”
  • “I gotta say, ya'll are a coupla slack–jawed idiots, sniffin' 'round my business…”
  • “Now you know my big secret, I'm afraid yer gonna have to take a li'l old dirt nap.”
  • “Hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk! How you like my machine? Pretty dang nice, huh?”
  • “Yep, I've been suckin' power from the fighers with this baby! SLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURP!”
  • “Yer darn tootin'! An' you know why? 'Cause it keeps my bod forever young, son!”
  • “Oh, just shut yer traps, now! I'll use MY Crystal Star however I dang please!”
  • “Check THIS out! HRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH! MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSCLE–UP!”
  • “MAAAAAAAAAACHO GRUBBA!”
  • “Hoo–wee! I'm gonna smoosh you guys into guacamole an' snack on YER energy, too!”
  • “MAAAACHO! I'm a powerhouse now, you pesterin', li'l pieces of prairie piffle! So long's I have this here machine, my bod'll be rough, tough, an' ultrabuff!”
  • “Oh yeah! Keep it spicy! You know I love a good tussle, Gonzales! Keep on scrappin', son! 'Course, it ain't gonna do you much good in the end…”
  • “Not too shabby, Gonzales! You got showmanship, an' that's GOLD in this biz! But this here battle's just gettin' started! It's time I showed you some real moves! Back in the day, I had so many rump–kickin' moves, they had to make some illegal!”
  • "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! It ain't finished yet, Gonzales!!! Ain't over 'til it's over! That's way it is in combat sports, son! But lemme just tell YOU somethin'… Fortune's gonna smile on ME in the end, punk!”
  • “Nooo… How'd a perfect bod like mine lose to such a chub? Urrgh… Great Gonzales… Great fight there, son. Great fight…”

Gus[edit]

  • "Whoa! Whoa! Hold up, now! You're an outsider!"
  • "Past this point is the turf of Ishnail, head of the Robbos. It's 10 coins to pass through."
  • "You try to pass without paying, and I'm afraid I'll have to whip you but good."
  • "One, two, three...Yup! That's 10 coins all right! You can pass."
  • "Whoa! Whoa! Hold up, now! You don't have enough cash! You dirty, lying cheapskate!"
  • "It's really simple. If you don't pay, you don't pass."
  • "What? You gotta be kidding. You think you can fight your way through here?"
  • “I'm gonna make you eat your words, tough guy! Let's get this party started!”
  • “CRUD! You dumb video–game heroes ALWAYS pull this stuff! It's RIDICULOUS! You think violence solves everything, don't you? Huh? DON'T YOU?!?”
  • “You're amazing! I think I might even brag about the fact that you wrecked me!”
  • “…No, wait a second. I can't brag about getting beaten over 10 measly coins… That's pathetic! Crud!!!”

Heff T.[edit]

  • "Whoawhoawhoawhoa! What do you want?!?"
  • "BUUUUUUUUUURP!"
  • "Sorry about that. Now...What were you just saying? A pot from the kitchen?"
  • "Oh, I get it! Food gets stolen and you blame the chubby guy! NOT NICE!!!"
  • "What? Drops of stew on the floor outside?"
  • "N-No... I wouldn't know anything about that! No! People spill stuff!"
  • "And there's nothing in the drawer, so no need to look! You won't find a thing!"
  • "Doh! ......"
  • "I'm sorry! I ate it all! It was MEEEEEEEEE!"
  • "Yes... Yes, that's right."
  • "I'm so sorry, but it was a brief moment of weakness...Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!"

Hooktail[edit]

  • "Who dares approach me?"
  • "Hmm... So... You are friends of the strange–garbed one who came earlier?"
  • "I didn't expect more to come to steal the treasure I protect... Such rashness..."
  • "That was foolish, I fear. Do you really think you can beat me?"
  • "But you're so small. And you don't appear tasty. I suppose you might make a good snack. And the bottoms of your feet smell like they might make a good sauce with some spices."
  • "What I'll do is saute you to crispy goodness and gobble you down...HEADFIRST!"
  • "Snack time, little appetizers! But which one of you morsels should I taste first?"
  • "Bleck! That awful sound! It...sounds like a cricket! How did you know?"
  • "Stop that this instant!"
  • "Urp... I got really bad...ugh... food poisoning once when I ate a cricket. I HATE them!"
  • "Oh... Fight it, Hooky...
  • "Just hearing a cricket chirp makes me feel woozy!"
  • "Ooooog... Must...not...gag... My poor tummy... Uuuuurp... So very woozy..."
  • "W-Wait! Hold up a moment!"
  • "I give up! Please!"
  • "I won't be so bad anymore. I promise! In fact, I'm sorry! For everything!"
  • "Er... Yeah...
  • "To prove it, I'll give you 1,000 coins! What do you say? Can you forgive me?"
  • "What? You must be joking! You don't need any coins?
  • "Then how about the lovely, rare, extra-special badge I have? I'll give you that."
  • "It's one of a kind! And it's yours for a limited time only! Will you take it?"
  • "Of course you want it! Who wouldn't? Now,come here and get your badge..."
  • "OHHHH ho ho ho ho ho ho ho!"
  • "You were completely duped by my ingenicus ruse! You senseless yokels"
  • "Nothing in life is that easy! Your gulliability did you in!"
  • "Errrr... Really?!?"
  • "Well, I suppose I could apologize by letting you smell the bottoms of my feet."
  • "People pay good money to do this. I'm being completely honest right now. Really."
  • "So? Care to take a whiff of the rich, yet delicate scent of my world-renowned feet?"
  • "Hrrrrrrrrmmmm! You aren't a very trusting fellow, are you?"
  • "It's important to be able to trust someone, you know."
  • "Err... I guess I'd better..."
  • "Ohhh ho ho ho ho ho ho! Ahhh! Now my strength has returned to me!"
  • "Blurp! Why do I always have to feel so faint every time I hear a...urp...cricket?"
  • "B-But... I... I..."
  • "GURK!"
  • "How? Why? There's still so much I wanted to do with my life... So many meals..."

Ishnail[edit]

  • “What's that? You wanna know how to meet that lying, stealing, jerky–for–brains, Don Pianta?”
  • “Real thieves like us end up poor as dirty, never catchin' a break 'cause of that guy!”
  • “Fine, Mr. Insensitive Jerk, but it's gonna cost you 64 coins.”
  • “YESSS! I mean, good call.”
  • “Hey, you! That was amazin'! I can't believe how you cleared out that darkness!”
  • “You really are incredible! If I ever have a problem, I'm goin' straight to you.”
  • “You saved the world, guy! You're welcome here anytime! My house is yours!”

Jerry[edit]

  • "Hi, I guess. I'm Jerry. I'm a Bob-omb from Plumpbelly Village. Nice meeting you."
  • “Sorry I sound so down, but you would be too if you saw Luigi dressed as a bride.”
  • "I'm serious. It scarred me. It was honestly scarier than that giant snake-thing."
  • "I feel I now have a moral duty to stop Luigi from ever dressing as a bride again."
  • “I have to protect the world from my fate. That's why I'm sticking close to this guy.”

Jolene[edit]

  • "Let's get ready to... BRAAAAWL!"
  • “Mr. Champion! No, I mean, Mario…”
  • “Please allow me to express my earnest thanks for defeating that foul Grubba.”
  • “Now, sir… I mean, NO! NOT "SIR"! Grubba! I want answers, and I want them NOW! What have you done with my precious little brother? You know what I'm talking about: The first champion, PRINCE MUSH!”
  • “Well, Champ, tell us about your mind–set! After all, today's challenger is… The Great Gonzales, the only man to ever wrestle the belt away from you!”
  • “But, Champ, Gonzales showed no signs of rust in climbing back up to the ranks…”
  • “He shattered his own records, one after another! How does THAT strike you?”
  • “Big words from the champ! And now, the challenger, who needs no introduction!”
  • “The former champ returns!! The Superstar Sequel… The GREAT GOOOOOONZALES!”
  • “Listen to the crowd give it up for the brave challenger, the Great Gonzales!”
  • “It's been a while since these two met… but who will emerge victorious this time?”
  • “The battle is ready to begin! Ring that bell!”
  • “Who could've seen this coming? You couldn't PLAN a more ferocious battle!”
  • “Wild moves, raw power, fists and feathers of fury… What beautiful destruction!”
  • ”This was without a doubt, inarguably, definitely, absolutely, completely…“
  • ”An EXTREEEEEME battle of the very highest caliber!“
  • ”But there could only be one winner, and this time, it was the GREAT GOOOOOONZALES!“
  • ”Congratulations, Gonzales! Once again, you're our champion!!“
  • ”Congratulations, Gonzales. I was a little worried that you were over the hill, but you made quite a comeback! You are a true champion!“
  • ”Now… I think I know what you're thinking… You plan to move on, don't you?“
  • ”Well, that's fine, of course. I'll keep you registered in case you were wish to return.“
  • ”Come back and give the folks a thrill every now and then. You know, defend your title!“
  • “Of course, if you lose, you'll have to drop back down into the major league…”
  • “Well then, I'm rather busy, as usual, so you'll have to excuse me.”
  • “I need to work out a plan to bring Rawk Hawk back. That guy really draws crowds!”
  • “Have a nice day, Gonzales.”
  • “Please, Mr. Gonzales, I'm very busy these days. Fight promotion is not easy!”
  • “Please see yourself out. And have a nice day!”
  • “Thank you, Great Gonzales...No, Thank you, MARIO...You're a true champion.”
  • “Huh? Who am I, you ask? Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm! You don't know? I'm someone you know quite well, actually. When I go outside the arena, I like to cut loose and shed my other personality...

Kammy Koopa[edit]

  • "Ah! Lord Bowser!"
  • "I've just now returned. I'm terribly sorry to keep you waiting, my lord."
  • “Please, Your Grumpiness! Don't be so impatient with your poor servant.”
  • “Ahem... It's my displeasure to report that Mario, that scum, is off to a town called Rogueport.”
  • "Yes, well, you see, my lord... Apparently Mario is hunting for an amazing treasure."
  • "Yes, Mario has gone in search of star-shaped jewels known as the Crystal Stars. I'm researching just what they are...but there's no question of their high value."
  • "Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. Leave it to me."
  • "By the way, Lord Bowser...Do you like fried eggs?"
  • "Well, during my Mario recon, I stopped in a lovely place called Petal Meadows."
  • "I was planning on taking everyone there for a picnic, having some eggs and toast..."
  • "Of course, I wouldn't think of sending out invites without asking you first, Lord Bowser!"
  • "Oh, dear... Lord Bowser... Please calm down... Remember your blood pressure..."
  • "Hm? What's that?"
  • "Whaaaaat??? Is this TRUE?!?"
  • "Lord Bowser! Terrible news! Some bold fool abducted Princess Peach in Rogueport!"
  • "I'm afraid we don't have that information quite yet... The investigation's ongoing."
  • "One thing is most certainly confirmed, however: the princess has been kidnapped."
  • "But... Your Grunginess! Wait up!"
  • "Right as usual, Lord Bowser! We just got word that Princess Peach was spotted in the town up ahead."
  • "Mweh heh heh heh heh! My lord! You're so super!"
  • "Lord Bowser! Over there!!!"
  • "Mweh heh heh! Clearly she's so overcome with joy that she's been left speechless!"
  • "The mind of a maiden is, well, rather...complicated. Mweh heh heh heh heh!"
  • "Oh, my goodness me... Didn't see that coming..."
  • "Did you say something, Your Rudeness?
  • "Those were some Punies. One of them should know about the Crystal Star..."
  • "They fear you, so they're all hiding. Let's find them all and get the info we need."
  • "Ha! See?!? I KNEW it! This ugly thing knows where the Crystal Star is! Tell us!"
  • "EEEEEEEEEP! My heart! Don't startle me like that! I'm too old for this stuff!"
  • "...Ahem! Uh, yes, Lord Bowser? You look as if you're just dying to say something."
  • "It's 'MARIO'! Not 'MARTY-O'! And it's not 'Princess Pinch'! Her name is 'Princess PEACH'! ...But your senility is beside the point! The princess and the treasures must be connected!"
  • "Mario's trying to get it all! Treasures, princesses... Does his greed never end?"
  • "My lord! I've received reports of a great secret in the floating town of Glitzville! Let's ride the Cheep Blimp there! Come now!"
  • “You there! Two tickets! One Great and Evil King! And one Sweet, Young Thing!”
  • “...WHAT did he just say? Hey! Come back here, you! Impudent little cheep-skate!”
  • "Hey! I'm talking to myself! Where'd Lord Bowser go?"
  • “ Wait! Lord Bowser, please! Awwwww... Now my Special Dirigible Deluxe Brown Bag Kammy Lunch will go to waste...”
  • "THERE you are, Lord Bowser! What are you doing here? I've been looking all over!"
  • "If I may ask, where have you been, Your Sogginess?"
  • "Really? Neat! As for me... Glitzville was FANTASTIC! The fights were SO COOL! I was overcome! Why, even at my age, I was shaking what my momma gave me! And then...the Hot Dogs! Oh, my gracious! YUMMERLY! You have fun, too? Hm?”
  • “Lord Bowser… Is that a 'no'?”
  • “Hey, you! Suspicious guy! You know something about the Crystal Stars?”
  • Koopa Clan, form up!”
  • “So, what's it going to be, tough guy?”
  • “The fact that we keep being out–manuevered is disturbing. Where could Mario and his brother be heading?”
  • “Mweh heh heh heh! Mario, you sniveling bug! This is IT for you!”
  • “Forgive me, Lord Bowser! I have nothing left…”

Koopatrol[edit]

  • "Uh, Great Lord Bowser... The, uh, crusty hag Kammy Koopa will arrive momentarily."
  • "I'm really sorry for the inconvenience, but please wait at the rear of the room."

Koopie Koo[edit]

  • "Well, hello there. My name is Koopie Koo. It's nice to meet you."
  • "...Omigosh! That hat! Those overalls! And... And that magnificent mustache! You're Mario, aren't you?"
  • "I've heard tales of how strong you are."
  • "If you're here, that means... You're going to challenge that monstrous Hooktail!"
  • "Ohhhhhhhhhhhh! If only Koops were as brave as you..."
  • "Koops..."
  • "Well, part of it, Koops... I THOUGHT I heard you say you're off to fight Hooktail..."
  • "But...you're joking, right? I mean, you're not exactly a powerhouse... He'll eat you up!"
  • "No, Koops, you don't. I mean, going off to some dangerous place? It's... It's stupid. So what if you're timid? And sort of a crybaby. I don't care about all that. I just want you to be you. So, don't go..."
  • "FINE! IGNORE ME! STUBBORN KOOPA!!!"
  • "Koops, my sweet... I'll be right here waiting...for you to prove yourself."

Koopley[edit]

  • "YAAAAAAAAAAAH! I'm out! I'm finally out!"
  • "Eh?"
  • "Hey! You're... You're Koops!"
  • "Hey, Son! You've gotten so big since I saw you last!"
  • "Well, I came here a while back to deal with Hooktail, and all was well and good..."
  • "But just before my finishing blow, he played a trick on me and gobbled me down whole."
  • "I've been hiding in my shell for the ten years since then...inside Hooktail's belly!"
  • "And boy, was it nasty! Yuck! I'm so glad to finally get out! Ahh ha ha ha ha ha!"
  • "Oh, sorry, Son, but... I'm OK! That's good, right? We're together now, right?"
  • "Hey, speaking of which... What are you doing here, anyway?"
  • "...Crystal Star? This wouldn't be what you're talking about, would it?"
  • "I found it down there in Hooktail's belly. Nice, huh? I kept it as a souvenir."
  • "So...this is the thing you're looking for? Perfect! Just perfect! You can have it!"
  • "Come now! I won't take no for an answer. You're Koops's friend. Please take it!"
  • "Koops, my lad... Are you telling me that you're going with Mario?"
  • "Nicely said, young Koops! THAT'S my boy! But always remember this: you are my son, Koops...and I am your father!"

Koops[edit]

  • "Um... Hi there, folks."
  • "Did you come to this village to look for the treasure of Hooktail's castle? ..... Well...that Hooktail is one tough cookie."'
  • "Um... Excuse me! Err... I beg your pardon! Wait a moment! PLEASE!!!"
  • "Pardon me for yelling like that... I was panicking. Um... How to begin?"
  • "M-My name's...Koops. I heard you're traveling to Hooktail's castle."
  • "So, anyway, I, uh... I have a favor to ask."
  • "Well... Ummmm... Oh, just... Just forget it. Never mind. Ignore me. Good... Good-bye."
  • "Ummm... Excuse me... It's... It's Mario, right? Look, I... Ummmm... See, the thing is, I've been waiting here in the hope of getting to speak with you."
  • "I have to ask you something, and you can say no, but I'm going to throw it out there."
  • "Ummmmmm... See... I was wondering... Would you..."
  • "OH, PLEASE TAKE ME WITH YOU TO FIGHT HOOKTAIL! PLEASE! I'M BEGGING YOU!”
  • "Sorry about that. See... My dad... He went off to battle Hooktail long ago. ...But he never came back."
  • "I miss him, of course... I miss him badly. But this isn't just about avenging my dad."
  • "Well, no... That's not true. Revenge is a part of it, I guess. A big part."
  • "But the truth is, I want to finish what Dad started. For his sake. For everyone's sake."
  • "I... Man, this is embarrassing... See, everyone always says I'm a crybaby... A weakling."
  • "But if I can defeat Hooktail... Well, I won't be those things. I'll be strong, like may dad."
  • "I know it'll be dangerous, but I still want to go! Please, Mario!"
  • "What? But... But why? Why can't I go?"
  • "When, if that's how you feel...I'm not giving up hope, though."
  • "I promised myself I wouldn't."
  • "Ummm...So, if...If you change your mind, Mario, let me know, OK?"
  • "I'll be over there polishing my shell. Can't have an adventure with a dull shell."
  • "For real? No kidding? Yes! Thank you so much! You won't regret this!"
  • "OK, Mario! Let's get going!"
  • "Oh... Golly... Umm... Hi... Hi, Koopie... Koopie Koo... Did you overhear all that?"
  • "I know, Koopie Koo. But I want to be tougher. For you... So I have to do this..."
  • "Sorry, Koopie Koo... I've made up my mind."
  • "No need to worry, though! After all, I'm traveling with Mario. He's the man!"
  • "I'm sorry, Koopie Koo... I swear to you... I will come back to you a stronger Koopa!"
  • "Well, Mario, that's that, I guess. No turning back! Hooktail's castle awaits!"
  • "Oh, man... Hooktail Castle... The stories were all true… This place is TERRIFYING…"
  • "Oh... OH, NOOOOO! These bones... They remind me of my father... There's... There's no doubt about it! It's my father! DAAAAAAAD!"
  • "Umm... Wait, what's this? Mario! My father's clutching some kind of letter. Or at least, his...ugh...bones are. So... What should I do? Should I read it?"
  • "Umm...OK. I can do this. I... I'll read it. Ahem..."
  • “Huh? 'My son, KOLORADO'? Not 'Koops'??? Oooooooooooooooooooooops... Ummm... Yeah. I guess this isn't my father, after all.”
  • "But if this isn't my father... I wonder if that pile of bones over THERE is my dad..."
  • "Ummm... M-Mario... L-Look at that!"
  • "Oh, I don't like the look of this... Come on! Run!"
  • "Man... That was TOO close!"
  • "Gotta shake it off... Hoo. OK. We got the key, so let's go open that spooky chest."
  • "H-Hey! Who are you?"
  • "Umm, well, you see... We're here to beat Hooktail and get the...um...Crystal Star."
  • "So...don't think we'll let you get the Crystal Star first, no matter how cute you are!"
  • "Darn!"
  • "Ummm... Hey! What's that supposed to mean?"
  • "Oh, my! You're so...bold... Is that legal?
  • “I wonder what her story is... I bet it's an exciting one... Full of romance…”
  • "That's just not right!"
  • "I've had enough of this! Let's finish this guy off fast, Mario!"
  • "Wow! We actually pulled it off, Mario!"
  • "Now all we have to do is find that Crystal Star thing you're looking for, Mario."
  • "WHOA! It... It can't be!"
  • "Da... DAD?!?"
  • "Well, yeah, I guess I have... But who cares, Dad?"
  • "I mean, golly! What happened to you? Where've you been all this time?"
  • "Honestly, Dad... Don't you know how worried about you we all were?"
  • "For ten long years we all thought you'd...you know! We though your game was over!"
  • "Oh, come on, Dad... I came here to defeat Hooktail, who's been wreaking havoc in town."
  • "And Mr. Mario here is looking for a gem called the Crystal Star."
  • "What's THAT?"
  • "Umm... That's right, Dad... I'm going to continue travelling with Mario. And then I'm... Well... I'm going to come back a strong Koopa like you, Dad!"
  • "OK! Thank you, everyone. Well, I'm off!"
  • "Sorry to keep you waiting, Mario. You know...farewells. So, where are we going?"
  • "So...that means the location of the next Crystal Star will appear on that magic map?"
  • "Something wrong, Mario? You're...um...shaking. Are you feeling all right?"
  • "That's a new Mailbox SP, isn't it? Wow, neat! Did you get some mail?"
  • "Wow... You got mail from a princess. That's so cool!"
  • "So, anyway, she's unhurt! That's good, at least..."
  • "But I didn't like the sound of those kidnappers looking for the Crystal Stars as well..."
  • "Um... All right, Mario! Hold up that Crystal Star!"
  • "Hey, uh, Mario, look there. The next Crystal Star showed up on the map."
  • "But... I'm sorry, but I don't have a clue where that is."
  • "Um... I think we maybe should take it to Professor Frankly and let him look at it."
  • "Um... So, can you tell us where the next Crystal Star is or not?"
  • "A great tree in the Boggly Woods, huh?"
  • "Um... Professor Frankly... You should probably know... It's about Princess Peach..."
  • "Mr. Mario got an e-mail from her just recently."
  • "Her Highness said that the guys who kidnapped her are also hunting Crystal Stars."
  • "Oh, and she said she doesn't even know where she's being held. ...Yeah."
  • "Um... I guess all we can do is head to Boggly Woods to find that next Crystal Star!"
  • "Hey! Mario! You see that? That was one of the things Professor Frankly mentioned!"
  • "Um... Mario, that was uncool. Don't say stuff like that. I thought you were...nicer."
  • "Relax, relax, little guy. We're not bullies, I swear."
  • "Um... Aren't you one of the creatures from Boggly Woods? Why are you down here?"
  • X-Nauts'? What the heck are those? They sound like tissues...to the extreme or something.”
  • "Look, we're not here to do ANYTHING to you, so relax. Tell us what's going on, OK?"
  • "A bunch of bad guys in the Great Tree?"
  • "If those are the same guys who kidnapped the princess, they want the Crystal Star!"
  • "Um... I guess we should... I'd feel pretty bad if we didn't do anything."
  • "Plus, we do need the Crystal Stars before those X-guys do."
  • "So, the Boggly Woods, huh? Looks mysterious, all right. What'll we run into next?"
  • "Oh, no... What's the matter?"
  • "Hey, don't take it so hard... It does look sturdy, though. What do we do now?"
  • "Not to be a worrywart, but how in the heck can we find somebody's secret entrance?"
  • “Ummm… OK, we can do this!”
  • "Uh-huh! Uh-huh! I remember! THEY'RE the ones with... Hey! Wait a second..."
  • "What do you mean, you've been waiting for Mario?!? That sounds...suspicious!"
  • "Whoa, whoa, scary lady! How do you know about the map and the crystals?"
  • "Have you talked to Princess Peach or something?"
  • "Hey, now that I think about it, who are you, anyway?"
  • "The Three Shadow Beauties?"
  • Ms. Mowz sure is cute. Too bad I sound like such a dork whenever I talk to her.”
  • "WHAT THE HECK?!?"
  • "Andy! We're gonna get through this! Why shouldn't we go near the ring?"
  • "Ohhh... crud. Bad news, Mario. This door's been locked. We're trappd in here!"
  • "Phew! We made it..barely. Listen to all those cheers! Your fans are out in force! Com on, let's get in there and beat this guy!"
  • "So it WAS you! You're the guy who's been sending us Crystal Star hate mail!"
  • "Ummm... Mario? Is it just me, or do you hear a voice?"
  • "Could it be...a ghost?"
  • "Y-Y-Y-Yikes! That Mailbox SP almost scared me to death! Turn down that volume!"
  • "So...there is actually a ghost in here with us? Let's hide under the bed."
  • "Hey, see that? I bet that's the document Grubba hid. Let's check it out.
  • "Wow! A machine under the ring using a Crystal Star? These are the blueprints! I can't make much sense of this paper, but I think the Crystal Star powers it! If this document's correct, then the machine can...gulp...suck the power out of people! Oh, man... You think King K and Bandy Andy got, you know...drained?"
  • "You...great...big...JERK! How could you do that to King K and Bandy Andy?!?"
  • "Mario! Let's go after him!"
  • "Wow, Mario! Take a look! The Crystal Star!"
  • "How could you us a Crystal Star just to look better? You won't get away with this!"
  • "Wow! Grubba got...really big! That isn't good!"
  • "Mario, we owe it to the other fighters to teach this maniac a lesson! C'mon!"
  • "So, our mysterious X..."
  • "Gee, she seemed kind of aloof, but she just really loved her brother..."
  • "Hey! Mario, look up there! The Crystal Star!"
  • "So, The Crystal Star brought him back?"
  • "Ummm... You sure you don't mind us taking it?"
  • "I guess it's okay then, Mario! Let's take it!"
  • "Um.... K-Koops."
  • "H-Hey! Think you could ease up on jabbing me, Pokey?"
  • “Let's leave these wimps, Mario…”
  • "Ummm...What do we do? We can't serve her!!!"
  • "Is that..."
  • "Can you hear them, Mario? So many voices..."
  • "They're... They're all sending us their wishes and positive energy...That's...amazing..."
  • "That voice... Princess Peach?!?"
  • "Mario! Look at THAT!!!"
  • "What... What's this? I feel all full of energy..."
  • "PEACH!!!"
  • "Mario! The time is now! We've almost got her!"
  • “Mario, thanks to you, I've gained courage and inner strength, and I've grown closer to my dad. I think I like myself more since I've known you. It's all so hard to put into words. Um…”
  • “Yikes! What a grump!”

KP Pete[edit]

  • "Yo, Rook! How was you're first fight, dog?"
  • "I'm King K, man. Just a bush-league scrub like you."
  • "Meet my peeps, Gonzales! I told you we were gonna square off, and now it's ON!"

Lady Bow[edit]

  • “It IS you, isn't it, Mario? Well, it's been quite a while, hasn't it?”
  • “I've come here with Bootler, yes, a little vacation to Poshley Sanctum. I hadn't left the mansion in ages. I figured it was time to turn some heads on the road!”
  • "GWAH HEE HAH!"
  • “But what a nice surprise to see you! Feel free to be overwhelmed by my beauty.”

Lord Crump[edit]

  • “Oh, come off it, you airhead! I know it's tough for you, but don't play dumb with me!”
  • “I've seen you walking around town asking for information about the Crystal Stars. Well, now I'm doing the asking, so be a good girl and tell us what you know. Right. NOW!”
  • “I suppose it wouldn't be right if a sassy little lass like you met with an untimely demise…”
  • “Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh! Boys, we're taking this firebrand to our fortress!”
  • "Whuh? What do you think YOU'RE doing, chump? You think you can screw up my plans?!?"
  • "Gah! It's always something..."
  • "Looks like I'm going to have to give you a little taste of the old CRUMP-A-BOMB!"
  • "Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh! OK, you got a couple decent shots in, I'll give you that."
  • "But...unfortunately for you, that means... IT'S GO TIME!"
  • "PUNISH MIM!"
  • "Buh-HUUUUUH?!? STOPPP!!! Where'd they go?!? Huh? You! Johnson! Did you see them? Did anyone? Uh... Crud! They bolted!"
  • "Whuzzat?!? Oh, yeah, sure! Roger, Grodus! And with that... Pow! I'm gone!"
  • “I knew it was brilliant, but seeing you fall for it REALLY gives me a warm fuzzy!”
  • “What?!? Are you nuts? Move it, you old geezer!”
  • “Whoa What's your problem, Gramma? You got an ear hair tickling your brain, or what?”
  • “You hotheaded old coot! You dare defy me? I could shine my boots with you!”
  • “Buh! Buh huh huh!”
  • “You guys are nuts, you know that? Oh, well. I guess I'd better shut off this timer.”
  • “OK, you pests! One pummeling, coming up…with extra fists! Metal fists, that is!”
  • “Awake, Magnus von Grapple! Time for a technological thrashing! Enjoy!”
  • “You crying yet? Yeah? Sorry, but this thing isn't armed with tissues. Well, Magnus von Grapple has that effect on people. Total, weeping terror.”
  • “And you ain't seen nothing yet! Check out the power on this bad boy!”
  • “Here it comes, suckers! Magnus von PUNISH!!!”
  • “Oh, it ain't over yet! This is so awesome. Check out what else this guy could do! You're gonna love it!”
  • “This might not work out too well for you!”
  • “Gurk! Urrrrrrgh… Not good… Can't last…”
  • “Bleeeeee–harrrrgh… This could be the end…”
  • “Buh! Bu–AAAAAARGH! No! Magnus von Grapple! How we could lose?!?”
  • “Hurff… Hurfff… Hurffff… I'll remember this, losers!”
  • “Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh huh huh! I've got some ammo to spare! How's THAT for boom–bassa–boom?!?”
  • “I'll sink that ratty old ghost ship to the bottom of the ocean!”
  • “I'm gonna turn you guys into wee seeds… Wait, that's not right. I'll turn you into SEAWEED! Buh huh! Enjoy!”
  • ”I'm down, but no WAY I'm out!“
  • ”MAN, THIS IS GETTING OLD! How could I lose…again?!? I HATE LOSING! Now I gotta think of another excuse for Grodus! Grrrrrrr! And with that…pow! I'm gone!“
  • ”I've been waiting for you! Oh, MAN, have I been waiting! And I HAAAAAAAATE waiting!“
  • ”Buh huh! I'll TELL you what it means! I used the Crystal Star to lure you here… So that I could take all of YOUR Crystal Stars! How brilliant is THAT, huh?”
  • “And wanna know the best part? Your little Peachy girl isn't even here anymore!”
  • “BUH! BUH! BUH! BUH! BUH! Like I'd tell you the plan! That's novice–villain style! No, I won't be doing anything like that. Sorry, really, guys…”
  • So… Ready for showtime? You guys are gonna be the perfect workout for… Magnus Von Grapple 2.0!“
  • ”I hope you're up to the challenge…because this thing is raw horsepower, kiddies!!!“
  • ”Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh! Yeah, last version was buggy, so we made improvements… One…two…a DOZEN!!! Get ready for a whole new way to experience pain, you junior–varsity losers!“
  • “Here it comes, suckers! Magnus Drill Attack!!”
  • "Buh huh huh! Time to unleash some of the sweet special features on this bad boy! Oh, man, this is gonna be so good..."
  • "Buh huh huh...uh, crud. You guys should be little puddles of nothing by now... Oh well, I've still got some tricks up my sleeve!
  • "Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh! EAT THIS!"
  • "Hurrfff... Haaaack... No... How... What? My sweet powered-up robot is on the ropes! This is wrong!
  • "BLAAARGH!"
  • ”GRRRRROOOOOODDDDUUUUUSSS!!!“

Luigi[edit]

  • "Hey, Bro! Check it out! A letter from Princess Peach arrived for you!"
  • "I'll just read it to you, how's that sound?"
  • "Ahem! Now let's see here..."
  • "What do you know? It's true! There's a weathered old map in here with the letter. Check it out!"
  • "Well, hey, big brother! Fancy meeting you here! What a co-inky-dink!"
  • "Eh? Who, me? Well, Bro, I'm on an adventure. I have to rescue Princess Eclair of the Waffle Kingdom. Yeah, it's a bad scene, all right. She's been kidnapped by the evil Chestnut King."
  • "If you gotta know, I met with some Waffle Kingdom cabinet members the other day."
  • "It was pretty crazy, Bro. Wanna hear what happened? It's a pretty long story..."
  • "Well, I went to Rumblebump Volcano and got myself a Marvelous Compass piece! It was an incredible quest! There was danger, and all sorts of adventuring! It was pretty nutso, Bro. Wanna hear what happened? It's a pretty long story..."
  • "Well, I got my second piece of the Marvelous Compass at Plumpbelly Village recently! Hoo, boy! I really got my hands dirty on that one, I'll tell you what! It was pretty wild, Bro. Wanna hear what happened? It's a pretty long story..."
  • "Well, I headed to Circuit Break Island and got me a Marvelous Compass piece! You wouldn't believe it, Bro! Talk about thrills, chills, and spills! It was pretty nuts, Bro. Wanna hear what happened? It's a pretty long story..."
  • "Hey, sounds good to me! Which part of my story you wanna hear, Bro?"
  • "Well, like I said, it's a really long story, but here goes..."
  • "If you wanna hear what I've been up to, just come find me, OK? I'll be around."
  • ”You go, Bro!“

Waffle Kingdom Letter[edit]

  • "My big brother--that's you, Bro--got a letter from Princess Peach and took off."
  • "Left behind as usual, I was cooking a snack at home when another letter arrived."
  • "We don't get so much mail, so I was thinking: 'Huh?' This is what the letter said: 'Sirs! My name is Crepe. I am a cabinet minister in the far-off Waffle Kingdom. Our land has been attacked by the Chestnut King, who took our Princess Eclair. I ask, nay, BEG for your assistance! The Waffle Kingdom needs your skills. I humbly request your prompt response, sirs. Sincerely, Crepe.' ...Well, I don't remember it exactly, but I think it went something like that."
  • "With Mario--that's you, Bro--gone, it fell to me to answer this plea!"
  • "Hesitating only a teensy bit, I headed to the Waffle Kingdom to investigate."
  • "Oh, no, first I wrote a note to myself about what I was cooking. Then I left."
  • "Once I reached the Waffle Kingdom, I met Minster Crepe, who filled me in."
  • "The Chestnut King had kidnapped Princess Eclair and vanished."
  • "Apparently, though, some oracle said a Marvelous Compass could locate her."
  • "This Marvelous Compass had been broken into seven parts by an ancient curse...and those parts had been scattered across the land. Can you believe it, Bro?"
  • "Each part of the Marvelous Compass was said to point to the next."
  • "And since one of the parts had been embedded in the tiara worn by the princess... I surmised that once I collected all the parts, I'd find her! Smart, huh?"
  • "The minister gave me the compass base spoken of in Waffler fables... When it activated, the entire thing lit right up, indicating the deep south... It was pointing me toward Rumblebump Volcano on the Pudding Continent!"
  • "So, yeah, here I am! I'm sailing out of Rogueport for Rumblebump Volcano."
  • "It's probably gonna be pretty dangerous, but... I gotta rescue that princess!"

Rumblebump Volcano[edit]

  • "As soon as my ship docked on the Pudding Continent, I set out for the volcano."
  • "To reach my destination, I spent several days fording through dense jungle..."
  • "Scary beasts were all over! More than once, I thought I was done for, Bro!"
  • "I may have screamed a bit. To scare them off, you know. But as fate would have it..."
  • "A Blooper named Blooey heard me shrieking and found me in this one town."
  • "Blooey was on a journey of his own, but he joined me after hearing my tale."
  • "Now, Blooey's a madman. Back in his hometown, they call him 'White Torpedo'!"
  • "Yeah, he's a tough guy. Anyway, he helped me fight to Rumblebump Volcano."
  • "This place was all about bubbling lava pools and heat that'd make the sun sweat."
  • "AND, the place was lousy with evil traps designed to protect the compass piece."
  • "the scariest one of all was this gigantic, 100-foot-tall statue that stomped around."
  • "Now, the weakness of this giant statue, Bro, was a red gem on its forehead..."
  • "Now, I can jump high, but not high enough to reach this thing by a long shot."
  • "So I came up with this plan for Blooey to hit that weak spot! 'All you, man!' I said!"
  • "I waited for a pause in the statue's movements and hucked Bloeey up there!"
  • "And bull's-eye! The White Torpedo saved the day! That jewel got whacked!"
  • "It was a critical hit, and that stone statue toppled and crumbled into pieces!"
  • "Once that was done, it was an easy stroll to the room where the treasure was."
  • "Unfortunately, Princess Eclair was nowhere to be found..."
  • "But I got another piece of the Marvelous Compass, and put it in the base..."
  • "Now the compass pointed west, to Plumpbelly Village on the Strudel Continent."
  • "So I set sail once again and came back here to Rogueport to recharge."
  • "That's what happened to me lately, but I'll be heading back out soon..."

Plumpbelly Village[edit]

  • "Once we made landfall on the Strudel Continent, we made for Plumpbelly Village."
  • "Once we got there, though, we immediately noticed that something was wrong."
  • "We learned from the mayor that the town was ruled by a giant snake named Hizza!"
  • "He said his own daughter was gonna be offered up as a sacrifice to this beast, too!"
  • "So, of course, being heroic, I offered myself up to go in her stead! Brave, huh?"
  • "Now, the custom was for sacrifices to be dressed as brides, so I got all dolled up..."
  • ”I was one hot sacrifice, Bro. I looked so good, I fooled our foes and got in Hizza's lair.“
  • "It was kind of rough fighting in that gown, but I managed. Chiffon really chafes, Bro!"
  • "I finally found Hizza...and the snake had a second head on his tail! Talk about scary!"
  • "I fainted real quick, but when I came to, I managed to distract both heads..."
  • "It reared up, fangs bared to attack, and at that moment, I deftly lunged left!"
  • "His gaping mouths smashed into one another...and he vanished in a cloud of smoke!"
  • "A shining plate fell down on the spot where Hizza's body had been coiled..."
  • "Yes! Another compass piece! I set it, and it pointed east, to Circuit Break Island!"
  • "Just as I was about to leave town, the mayor asked me to stay and marry his daughter."
  • "I thought about it--she was sorta cute--but we ended up sneaking off the next morning."
  • "I mean, I still have to rescue Princess Éclair from the Chestnut King!"
  • "And...when the Marvelous Compass activated this time, I heard somebody's voice."
  • "It was so beautiful, Bro... I'm certain it was Princess Eclair's voice!"
  • "My heart began to race! That's when I realized it: Princess Éclair... I think I..."
  • "Oh! I kinda zoned out there. Umm... So, yeah. We set sail again after ditching town..."
  • "And somehow we managed to get back here to Rogueport. And here I am!"

Circuit Break Island[edit]

  • "Just as our boat arrived at Circuit Break Island, we heard this incredible racket!"
  • "We soon found out that they hold kart races almost every day on the island."
  • "Whoever takes first place gets to rule the island as king for that day."
  • "Just as we got to the race track, they were holding the awards ceremony..."
  • "I couldn't believe my eye! Right there, on the trophy they give to the winner..."
  • "It was another piece of the Marvelous Compass! I almost passed dead away!"
  • "I decided right then and there that the only thing to do was enter the next race."
  • "I mean, I've driven in kart races before, so I'd thought I'd be OK. Boy, was I wrong."
  • "The karts were supercharged machines that could send you airborne with their exhaust!"
  • "These vehicles were armed with missiles and bazookas... It was 'anything goes,' Bro!"
  • "Of course, I wanted to get out of there, pronto! These drivers were crazed!"
  • "But I worked up my courage and signed up anyway. And my race day finally came..."
  • "I got one of the best karts: the Big Green 01! I took my position at the start line..."
  • "The light went green, I stomped the accelerator... and something bad happened."
  • "I was in reverse! The Big Green 01 went rocketing backwards with me yelling..."
  • "I crashed into the wall behind me hard enough to cut me off midscream."
  • "In one fell swoop, I dropped into last place and wrecked my racing machine..."
  • "But it wasn't all bad news: all the other karts crashed because of my maneuver..."
  • "Once I got in gear and took off, I was the only car left! I won by a country mile, Bro!"
  • "I took the piece off my trophy and added it to the Marvelous Compass..."
  • "The compass came to life and pointed me toward Jazzafrazz Town in the east!"
  • "Then I heard that voice! Princess Eclair's voice echoed in my ears again!"
  • "Oh, my princess! Random words would form poetry if spoken by your voice!"
  • "I will most definitely save you! Just wait for me! Princess Eclair!!!"
  • "Oh! Sorry about that, Bro... Umm... So, after that, I got back on my boat..."
  • "And came back here to Rogueport. And that's what's been up with me."

Madame Flurrie[edit]

  • "Ahhh! These woods are the most wonderful in all the world. Yes, indeed!"
  • "Building a house here was just the FINEST idea I ever did have. Oh, my, yes! ♥"
  • "This place is so different from the bright flashbulbs of the world I'm used to..."
  • "Such peace... This negative image of the real world soothes my body and soul."
  • "But what's even better...is that I, Madame Flurrie, grow ever more lovely here!"
  • "Plus, those squishy, adorable little Punies that live in that tree are SO nice to me!"
  • "But...I suppose if I stay here too long, I'll begin to crave hustle and bustle before long!"
  • "Oh! Oh, my! It's happening even as I speak! Already I feel the need for drama! ♥"
  • "That moment of exhilaration when the spotlight shines down on the stage...on me!"
  • "Surely I was born to be...an actress for the ages! ♥"
  • "It's settled, then. I shall rise again! But...before I make my stage comeback... I simply must whip my body and mind into shape. ♥"
  • "I'll just have to put on some makeup and make my beauty even more beautiful."
  • "Wait a moment... Noooooooooooooo! It's gone! Gone I tell you! My... My..."
  • "Eeeeek! No! Out of the question! You mustn't come in here! ♥"
  • "Oh! Wait a moment... Those darling, squishy little footsteps... Is that you, Punio?"
  • "Oh, it's ben an AGE since I saw you last! You poor dear! Is there something you need?"
  • "Oh... Is that all, dearie? You came all the way here just for that?"
  • "My adorable little Punio... You know I would do anything in my power to help you."
  • "However, lamentably... I'm in a bit of a bind myself. I just cannot come out."
  • "It's somewhat embarrassing...but I never go out without my favorite necklace."
  • "I just can't find the blessed thing! I suspect I dropped it on my daily constitutional."
  • "I'd be simply SCANDALIZED if anyone saw me without it, so I shan't be going out."
  • "I absolutely MUST have that neckalace to highlight my beauty, and that's that!"
  • "What's that? DO speak up! You! Whoever just spoke! Do you have some clue as to my necklace's whereabouts?"
  • "Building a house here was just the FINEST idea I ever did have. Oh, my, yes! ♥"
  • "If you do, you must help me! Please! Be a dear! Find it and bring it back to me!"
  • "If you could, then I'd be delighted to help my squishy little friend, Punio. ♥"
  • "I'm sorry to trouble you so. ♥"
  • "Please! You must find my precious necklace! I'm counting on you! ♥"
  • "Oh! You delightful fellow! You've found my necklace! I'm beside myself, truly! ♥"
  • "But...you still mustn't see me. Please, leave the necklace by the door and wait a moment."
  • "Oh, splendid, SPLENDID! My oh-so-ravishing necklace! I'm awash with joy! ♪"
  • "Oh! Oh...my...word! Mario, isn't it! Are YOU my heroic little necklace hunter?"
  • "Well! My, my, my... Aren't you a FINE specimen of a man? Yes, indeed! ♥"
  • "I simply MUST thank you for your graciousness! ♥"
  • "But how to do it? Hmmm… Perhaps if I…grabbed you and gave you a little sugar? ♥"
  • "Here I come, handsome! Time to give you a proper thank-you! Pucker up! ♥"
  • "Oh, Mario, you are just the CUTEST little thing I've ever laid eyes on! ♥"
  • "Yes you are, and that's that. So tell me, are you truly looking for the Crystal Stars?"
  • "The very same Crystal Stars spoken of by all the lowlifes in Rogueport?"
  • "Mmmm... A danger-filled search for beautiful jewels... How absolutely marvelous!"
  • "And here I was thinking how frightfully bored I was! It's time for a change!"
  • "And besides, I do declare... That plush mustache of yours has completely swooned me!"
  • "A man as manly as you must attract all sorts of trouble, and I want to keep you safe!"
  • "So, I daresay I'll be joining you on this little adventure. I assume that's fine, Mario? ♥"
  • ”Did you really think we'd let a wretch like you escape? I DO believe you will be handing over that Crystal Star and promptly exiting this tree!“
  • ”Why, that was no fuss whatsoever!“
  • ”Here we go, darling! Time to shine!“
  • ”Aww, you wish to accompany us, you adorable little thing?“
  • ”You, Mr. Proprietor! Would you allow us to free this poor soul?“
  • ”Why, that voice belongs to Grubba!“
  • ”You shut your trap, sir! You drained the life from those poor souls!“
  • ”Using innocent fighters and a Crystal Star just to improve your looks? You're despicable.“
  • ”So, our mysterious X…“
  • "Mmmm... A bit to the left... ♥"
  • ”'Big deal'? You foul boor! What ever would possess you to do something so mean?“
  • "Oh, mercy! Was that it? This fellow was so easy! I was rather expecting more. Well, I suppose we got the Crystal Star, so let's leave immediately, hmm?"
  • ”How could I mistake my dear Mario for another? Silly Flurrie!“
  • ”Let's leave these louts, Mario…“
  • ”So, this gentlemen is the leader of those X–Nauts?“
  • ”So, that last Crystal Star we found on the Moon… NO! What have we done?“
  • ”Mario, do be careful, dear! This fellow looks like he means business!“
  • ”We shan't let that happen!“
  • ”Mario, what shall we do, darling? We cannot bow down to her!“
  • ”Now that's just senseless… Are we to betray all of those who believed in us?“
  • ”Time to pay for all of your ills!“
  • ”My dear, dear, Mario. I am ready to make my comeback in the theatre, now! I've found so many things on this journey that I could only express on stage. Please do come to see me once we've finished rehearsing. And bring Peach, too, dear!“

Marilyn[edit]

  • "Guhhhhh..."
  • "Guh! Guh!"
  • "Uh... Guh! Guh?"
  • "Guh! Guhhhhh?"
  • "Guh! GUHHH!"
  • "Uhhhh-guh..."
  • ”The Three…“
  • "GUUUHHH!"
  • ”Guh!“
  • "GUUUUUUUUUUUUH!"

Mayor Kroop[edit]

  • "Hmph? Whuzzat? Someone there? Who is it? WHO?!? What do you want from me? I know! You're thieves! Here to rob a defenseless old Koopa! Despicable!"
  • "Go on, do what you will...but as you can plainly see, there's nothing to steal here. Oh, I guess I have a little money... Take it, you fiends. And my antique shell, too. Just leave the photos of me and the missus. Can't do without those memories..."
  • "What? Not thieves, you say? Well, what's your story, then? Oh, wait... You folks looking for Crystal Stars?"
  • "Well, why didn't you pipe up before, you ijit! We're just wasting time, here!"
  • "The Crystal Stars you say you're hunting... Errrmm... Wait... What did I hear about those dang things, again?"
  • "Aha! Got it! Hooktail! Hooktail's got what you're looking for! It's this enormous, ornery dragon. Eats folks, they say. You know Hooktail, right?"
  • "Well, this Hooktail's brutal fly-by snackings have all of us on pins and needles. So, are you reckless fools... I mean... Are you gallant heroes off to rough it up?"
  • "This DOES sound promising!"
  • "Why, if you can rid us of Hooktail, we'll shower you with gratitude and rewards. Wait, what's that I hear? You'll accept no rewards?"
  • "What an unselfish man! You're noble, indeed... Yup, a good egg. Now... What did you say your name was, again?"
  • "...Murphy? Hmm... That's a fine name. Yes, a fine name, indeed. Well now, Murphy..."
  • "I appreciate that, Murphy! They ARE nice eyebrows."
  • "Now, listen up. If you're intent on going to Hooktail's castle, find the secret pipe near this village. I don't know where it's at, but I know you need stone keys to use that pipe. The keys are somewhere in Shhwonk Fortress, just past the village. Get them first."
  • "Well then, Murphy... Get going and take care of that Hooktail monster!"
  • "Ahem... May I just add... If anything happens, you can always come home, Koops. Don't you ever forget that. This village will always be your home."

McGoomba[edit]

  • "You never know who'll be watching, so let's do this thing quick."
  • "Take this package to Goomfrey. You'll find him in front of Frankly's place."
  • "And try not to be seen."
  • "Did you deliver it? Phew! You saved my neck, buddy."
  • "Oh! I almost forgot your compensation. You saved my neck. You get something good."

Merlee[edit]

  • "We're under the folks up top! In my fortune-telling shop! I see your fortune...but stop! If you wish to talk to me, across the table you must be. Thank you, really, golly, gee!"
  • "Hello. Welcome. I'm Merlee. Underground, cute as can be! A fortune-teller, that is me. Lucky for you, coming here. I tell fortunes, have no fear! ♥"
  • "Let my mystic power tell of days to come...more, as well. For luck sits on my spells. What do you say, Mr. Guy? Want to give it a try?"
  • "That's good. That's great! Choose your path to fate! ♥ Which path do you choose?"
  • "OK. That's fine by me! So, ready? Ready for me? OK... Here we go! ♥"
  • "My mystic power can make you smile! ♥ In battle, you'll win with style! Even if nasty foes arrive, you'll be fine since my fortune will thrive! ♥"
  • "OK! Come again! See you soon! See you then! Good-bye! ♥"

Merlon[edit]

  • "Welcome to the home of Merlon, the super-magician. I foresaw your arrival. So... Which partner would you like me to power up?"
  • "Shall I power up this partner?"
  • "SHA-ZIBBY! SHA-ZOOBY!"
  • "Then you may go!"

Merluvlee[edit]

  • "Ahhhhhhhhhhhh-hah! ♥ Welcome, Mario. I am Merluvlee, the lovely fortune-teller. Seeing with my amazing abilities that which you seek is my humble job. The light of the shining stars will light that I wish to see. Ah-hah!♥ So! Shall I see something for you?"
  • "Ahhhhhhh-hah! Is that so? Well, if there is ever anything you want to find, just ask."

Mr. Hoggle[edit]

  • "No! Bad! So very bad! Behave yourself, egg!"
  • "No! Bad! Come back! Help! My important egg escaped! Somebody, catch it!"
  • "So bad! It does not even have arms and legs, and still I cannot catch it!"
  • "My menu was going to have the Southern Fried Egg Dog of Tastiness, but now... Bad!"
  • "I ordered that naughty egg from an island in the south! I had to pay shipping, too!"
  • 'Don't just stand there! Help catch it!!!"
  • "MOST AWFULLY BAD!"
  • "Come down from there, egg! How am I supposed to get it now? FLY there?!?"
  • "You! Don't just stand there with your mustache! Find a way to get up there!"
  • "Aww... Fine. Most people don't like eating stuff that jumps all over the place, anyway."

Ms. Mowz[edit]

  • ”Huh? Oh, my! Who's this handsome piece of cheese?“
  • "I can't believe there are other thieves here besides me. How very strange..."
  • "Me? Why, I'm Ms. Mowz, the globe-trotting thief! Heard of me, sweetie? ♥"
  • "I heard there were rare and valuable badges here in this castle. That's why I'm here."
  • "But the real question is...why are people like YOU roaming in such a run-down place?"
  • "Crystal Star, you say? Mmmm hmm hmm!"
  • "I didn't know a thing like THAT was hidden in this castle... Sounds intriguing!"
  • "Perhaps I just heard something you didn't want me hearing? Mmm hmm hmm hmm!"
  • "Oh, but that's OK... I mean, you were looking for this Crystal Star first..."
  • "And I already found the badge I was after, so I'll let you get your Crystal Star. ♥"
  • "Mmmm hmm hmm hmm! ♥ It means I must say bye-bye for now, Mr. Cutie."
  • "I know. It's sad. We just met, and already it is time to say farewell. Alas... ♥"
  • "Oh, I almost forgot... I have a little secret to share with you. ♥"
  • "Somewhere in this castle is a badge that'll help you best Hooktail, or so I've heard."
  • "I don't know what kind of badge it is. Maybe you found it already, maybe not."
  • "If you're going to fight Hooktail, I'd recommend finding that badge first."
  • "Well, take care, handsome mustache man! Let's get together again real soon!"
  • ”Opening the door for you? What do you mean by THAT, you awful thing?“
  • ”Let's leave these idiots, Mario…“
  • “Mario is no pawn of evil! Ridiculous!”
  • “Why are we even talking about this? NEVER!”
  • “It is time for us to part, my little cheese hunk. But I will not say farewell, because you're welcome here anytime you please, sweetie! Until then… adieu.”
  • “You look a bit weak to be fighting us… Mmm hmm hmm!”
  • "Mmm hmm hmm! It means I must say bye bye for now Mr. Cutie. I know. It's sad. We just met. But for now, farewell!"

Paragoomba[edit]

  • "Wassup, baby? Why don't you hang with us for a while? We play real nice!"
  • "What, you're too good for us? Come off it, sister!"

Parakarry[edit]

  • “Mail call!”

Parrot[edit]

  • "Skrawk? What happened to those weirdos who were just here? Ah, whatever... It was almost nice to have some company... I mean, no matter how important it is that no one know[s] his real name... Locking me up in here just because I know it... And making me guard the name's stupid missing letter... No way to treat a parrot! I REALLY want a cracker... Doopliss, you're a big meanie. When's feeding time, huh?"
  • "Skra-WAAAAAAAAAARK?!? Uh... Pretty bird! Pretty bird!"
  • "Man, am I tired of this stupid parrot babble act... It's so demeaning. And guarding this dumb letter here... I should report that Doopliss to the proper authorities...unless he gives me a cracker."
  • "Shine get! Shine get!"

Pennington[edit]

  • “Rudimentary, my dear Luigi!”
  • “No need for introductions. I know all about the famous Luigi!”
  • “We could have questioned him about all that Beldam business…”
  • "Ah, it is my dear Luigi! What are you doing at my doorstep, young fellow?"
  • "Well, yes... That is more like a hobby of mine, if the truth must be told."
  • "But enough chatter, hm? Shall we go inside?"
  • "Just a second there, Luigi! Exactly WHAT is going on here? Speak quickly!"
  • "Hm, yes, quite rudimentary... So you were looking for the Crystal Star in this sanctum..."
  • "Ohohohohohohohohohoho! Yes, very interesting..."
  • "Well, no cause for worry! The Crystal Star is safe! Yes, quite safe, indeed!"
  • "The stone that our rude friends stole was fortunately a red herring! A fake!"
  • "The real one is hidden somewhere in this sanctum to prevent such a theft!"
  • "However... As to the location of the real Crystal Star..."
  • "Well, as Sanctum Manager, I am, of course, prohibited from telling anyone..."
  • "However...I do know where it is! Of that you can be most certain! Yes, indeed!"
  • "Besides, I am sure a junior detective like yourself can could find it on your own!"
  • "Now, Luigi! Put to use all of the razor-sharp sleuthing skills I have taught you! Make me proud!"
  • "Hm... So that is where it was..."
  • "Oh, er, nothing! NOTHING! Just talking to my brain. All genuises do it."
  • "Congratulations, Luigi! You have found the real Crystal Star!"
  • "So please, feel free to take it... I will just put another fake one over here..."
  • "Well, traveling with you has been rather hectic, but I do admit, rather fun, as well!"
  • "I am sure you still a long road ahead, Luigi, but do not give up!"
  • "I do believe I will miss you when you are gone, Luigi."
  • "Oh, and, Luigi... Please give my regards to your dear brother!"
  • "You there! I have you now, villains! You...are common thieves! Aren't you? AREN'T YOU???"
  • "My eyes never deceive!"
  • "What? The Shadow Thief?!? I knew this had the scent of no mere burglary!!! Ha!"
  • "You've been hornswoggled, Shadow Thief...for that is a red herring! A fake!"
  • "If you must know, I gave the real one to Luigi! Ohhhhh ho ho ho ho ho!"
  • "...Will you, now? Luigi! Well done, lad! Way to not fail! ...Yet."
  • “M–Mario?? G–Gonzales?? Not… L–Luigi??”
  • “Luigi… Er, no, rather… I mean M–Mario… How are you, dear boy?”

Pine T.[edit]

  • "Huh? What? Who are you??? WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
  • "Wow! Did you come here just to save me?"
  • "Really? Pine T. Jr.? Wow! Good... I have to get back alive. Show me the way out!"
  • "Don't mind me! Just beat 'em!"
  • "OK. Let's go."
  • "Hey! The exit! OK, Pine T. Jr.! I'm on my way home!"
  • "Sorry for troubling you."

Podler[edit]

  • "Oh, you're Mr. Gonzales! Yeah, that's the mustache I've been waiting for!"
  • "Actually, you're pretty late... Somebody left a package and a note by the door a bit ago."
  • "The letter said: "Look for a thick-'stached man named Gonzales and give him this.""
  • "The "this" the letter was talking about is...this."
  • "So far's I could tell, that hammer's a new model, the HAMMERWHACK 2005..."
  • "Real nice hammer all around. Solid craftsmanship, good grip, high bonkability."
  • "The commercials for this thing say that the hammer chooses its user..."
  • "They aren't cheap, either, so whoever gave this to you must be a big fan."
  • "But... Why leave it in this juice shop? Doesn't that strike you as a bit odd?"
  • "I mean, it's not like it's that hard to hand a gift a pro fighter..."

Princess Peach[edit]

  • "Finally! I have a minute without Toadsworth watching over me! He's so paranoid!"
  • "I come all the way here on holiday...only to be stuck with Toadsworth! It's so stifling!"
  • "Once in a while I'd like the chance to look around on my own and see what I want."
  • "But...now that I'm doing it, all I see is that this town has a very...umm...distinct flavor..."
  • "Do you mean...me?!?"
  • "Oh! Well... Umm..."
  • "Well, that's a pretty box! What's inside it?"
  • "Ooooh..."
  • "Um... All right... What's the harm?"
  • "I'll try to open it."
  • "I'm telling you, I don't know."
  • "Mario!"
  • "Oh no!"
  • "Oh, dear... Here we go again..."
  • “I can't believe I'm kidnapped again. Mario and Toadsworth must be worried sick. Again.”
  • "But...hang on a moment! Where in the world am I, anyway? It's so unfamiliar..."
  • "I wish I could at least let Mario and Toadsworth know that I've been caught..."
  • "What a lovely shower! No soap scum, even! Wow. I wonder if it works..."
  • "Ahhhhhh! Hee hee!"
  • "How refreshing! I feel like a new princess!"
  • "Hmm? What was that? Hey! How odd... The doors opened by themselves."
  • "Weird... It doesn't look like...anyone's around."
  • "How do I keep making these doors open? How odd..."
  • "Huh? What? Who said that? Where are you?"
  • "Grodus... Wait, he's that awful dome-headed thing who interrogated me, right?"
  • "Well, I don't think so. But I doubt I'll change your mind... So, I'm wondering... Why did you lead me in here?"
  • "Wait... Did you just say... You want to observe me? ...To know more about me? Could it be that you..."
  • "No! Impossible! It can't be! You're a computer..."
  • "Oh, I couldn't, really... Because...it's just too weird."
  • "Well, you know, maybe... Is it possible that, well...you're...in love...with me?"
  • "Wait, you don't know what love is?"
  • "Love... How do I explain? Love tells you when you want to be with a person forever. It makes you feel happy just to see that person happy, smiling...having fun."
  • "When you love someone, you will do anything to help when he or she is in trouble."
  • “'Comprehend' love? Love's not something you comprehend, TEC. You feel it.”
  • "What? You're a computer! Why would you care about love?"
  • “What, are you insane? You X–Jerks kidnapped me like common Koopas!”
  • "And now you call me in here and ask me to teach you the meaning of love?"
  • "I should spit on your screen! You'll grant my wishes? Ha! Why should I believe you?"
  • "Are you sure? Well, OK... Here goes..."
  • "Can I contact someone? The sooner, the better..."
  • "You mean this keyboard? All right... Let me give this a shot."
  • "OK, it's ready, TEC. Could you send it?"
  • "Uh... OK then. Good night."
  • "Oh, Mario... Did you even read the mail I sent you? I wonder..."
  • "I wonder so many things... I wonder how everyone is doing at the castle..."
  • "Will I never dance at the Mushroom Ball again?"
  • "What will become of me?"
  • "Hmm... Doesn't seem to open."
  • "Oh! Is this TEC's doing again?"
  • "That mail I sent to Mario... Did it reach him all right?"
  • "Is that so? Well, good..."
  • "So what do you want from me today? Is there more you want to know of love?"
  • "Ex-CUSE me?!? Were you eavesdropping?"
  • "Find out what caused it? There's no reason behind such a feeling, TEC."
  • "Wanting to do something together... It's part of love. I know it."
  • "But then again... You are...well...a computer."
  • "Wait... Wait just a minute! What...am I supposed to do? You say you want to dance? It's just so...bizarre..."
  • "I mean, how in the world can I dance with you? You have no arms. Or feet. Or moves."
  • "Oh my goodness! Is that me? Did you create that? ...Oh, all right, I guess."
  • "I must say, though, it's going to feel weird, dancing with myself..."
  • "TEC? Are you OK?"
  • "I'm finished, TEC. Could you send it?"
  • "You're a weeeeird computer."
  • "Hmm? Oh! Is this the uniform? Am I supposed to wear this ugly thing?"
  • "I don't know about this...It's awfully tight. And it kind of smells a bit..."
  • "Phew! Who knows how, but I got into it. I can barely breathe, though."
  • "TEC? Did you call me?"
  • "What shall I do today? Will it be dancing, perhaps? Disguising? Or will I sing a song or something?"
  • "Huh? What's wrong, TEC? You don't seem yourself..."
  • "What do you mean?"
  • "A quiz?"
  • "What's with you all of a sudden, huh?"
  • "TEC... Is this..."
  • "TEC... You... Was it okay for you to tell me such things?"
  • "Uh... OK. I'm done. Could you send it?"
  • "Thank you... You're still a weird computer, TEC."
  • “You inhuman beast! How could you?”
  • “Where am I?”
  • MARIO!”
  • “Mario… I'm so sorry. Sending you that map… caused all this trouble, didn't it…”
  • “Who knew all this would happen?”
  • “I don't know how to thank you, but know that the entire world is in your debt!”

Professor Frankly[edit]

  • "Whuzzah??? Who's there? Who wants me?"
  • "Ah. Yes. You. Now, you, uh..."
  • "I've seen that face before... Yes, that face..."
  • "Wait for it... Just a moment... Don't tell me, now! Silence! I'll get it right!"
  • "Umm... It's not Goombriel..."
  • "Err... It's not Eliazagoom..."
  • "Hrrrmmmm... Errrmmm... A-HAAA! I've got it!!!"
  • "You're Goombella, aren't you? You were in my archaeology class last year, am I right?"
  • "Of course I remember you. Not to toot my horn, but I'm pretty good at remembering."
  • "You, though... You stick out in my mind because you were such an exceptional student."
  • "And that guy behind you is... WHO?!?"
  • "Oh! My apologies. I'm such a bookworm, I haven't a clue about what's 'hip' right now."
  • "In any case, what sort of errand brings you two all the way to a place like this?"
  • "Of course I know about it. The reason I came here was to study that very subject. But why do you tykes want to learn about the legendary treasure? You know that most say it's little more than a fairy tale, don't you?"
  • "Good point! And well made! In that case, I'll cooperate with you however I can."
  • First of all, about the treasure... There are many mysteries surrounding it. Some say it's an infinitely vast treasure hoard, while others say it's a magical item. Some books say it's actually a monster, while still others claim it's an empty chest... So many different theories... Obviously, it's impossible to divine the truth among them."
  • "...But all agree on one point: to find the treasure, one must have the Crystal Stars!"
  • "Indeed, the same. As the saying goes, if you want to find the legendary treasure... You first must collect the seven Crystal Stars."
  • "Correct! And the Thousand-Year Door is supposedly here, deep beneath this town."
  • "Yet the critical piece of the puzzle--the Magical Map--is lost. If only we had that map!"
  • "WHAAAT??? Hummina hubbity hubbida hippity hoobida hammala huffala hoofala... REALLY?"
  • "You... You actually have it? Could I...just take a quick look at it, if you don't mind?"
  • "Astounding! This is it! The real thing! The one and only Magical Map!"
  • "You, son, are my HERO! You're great! Fantastic! WONDERFUL, even!"
  • "With this... We can find the Crystal Stars just by holding this aloft before the legendary door!"
  • "Good golly, what are we doing just sitting here, then?!? Goombella! Mario! Off we must go, this instant! Let's take the Magical map to the legendary door!"
  • "I bet you didn't know this rotten old thing came off, did you? Heh heh!"
  • "We can use this pipe to get down under the city streets! Come on! Both of you! Let's get moving!"
  • "Oh, wait, hang on a second... Mario! Something just occurred to me."
  • "I'm fairly certain there are quite a few hoodlums below. So, uh...keep your guard up."
  • "You two do know about your Action Commands, don't you?"
  • "Really? A master, are you? Maybe you ought to practice them once, just to be safe?"
  • "A bold young lad, aren't you! Very well, then! Down we go!"
  • "Just stand on the pipe and tilt Control Stick Down to enter it."
  • "A Goomba, A Spiny Gooma, and a Paragoomba! My! The whole Goomba family tree!"
  • "The only one I should warn you about is that fellow in the middle: the Spiny Goomba. See that spike on his head? Well, jump on that and you're the one who'll take damage!"
  • "The Paragoomba's airborne, so you're hammer won't reach. You'll have to jump for him."
  • "Always take your opponent's situation into consideration when fighting! Always!"
  • "...Oh! That's right! I forgot to tell you something vital!"
  • "You can press Y Button to change the order you two attack in! You can attack first if you feel like it, Goombella. Don't forget that!"
  • "Are you ready, Mario? There are plenty more where they came from, and they'll all have it in for us.
  • "When they attack, try to hammer them or jump on them while in the field..."
  • "Attack successfully and you can perform a First Strike when you enter battle."
  • "So if an enemy catches sight of you, be sure to thump them as you go into battle."
  • "Er, Mario... A word with you? I'm not exactly confident we can trust this...box."
  • "I think it may be best not to mention we're looking for the Crystal Stars. ...Well, drat. I just said it out loud! What's wrong with me?"
  • "Oh! Mario! Goombella! Look...at...THAT!"
  • "It's the Thousand-Year Door spoken of in the legends! I can't believe it's real!"
  • "So the legends are all true! There it is, big as life! Come! Let's move closer!"
  • "Hrmmm... It appears that information related to the locations of the Crystal Stars appeared..."
  • "And that shining light... It looked as if a mysterious power was given to Mario..."
  • "Well... One way or another... We should return to my place and study the map closely."
  • "Hrmmm... Aha! I see!"
  • "My dear, of course I do! Firstly, about that light we saw shining on Mario... By my reckoning, Mario can now perform what is known as a special move."
  • "Yes, it... Well... Stuff like this is better explained by example rather than words. Would you like to try it out?"
  • "This is VERY important. You'd better listen. I mean it. Are you ready to listen?"
  • "Hmm... You're absolutely sure? Well, all right, then."
  • "Let's have at look at that Magical Map and see what we can learn about the... WOW! ASTOUNDING! This map has radar-like functions! It now shows the location of a Crystal Star!"
  • "It looks like the first Crystal Star is to be found in a place called the Petal Meadows."
  • "Yes. The area is a vast meadow that lies far to the east of Rogueport. To tell you the truth... I've always thought that place was a tad suspicious. The name Petal Meadows did come up from time to time in my research."
  • "I'm fairly certain that somewhere beneath the city is a pipe to Petal Meadows. If you could just find that, you'd get there instantly. Pipe travel's efficient."
  • "Say, by the way, Mario... I'm curious. Where did you get that map, anyway?"
  • "From Princess Peach? Really? Her Highness sent this to you, Mario?"
  • "So it IS her! Your princess came to see me the other day. She wanted to learn about the treasure..."
  • "I told her about the Crystal Stars and my suspicions about Petal Meadows... It doesn't seem likely, but perhaps she tried to go to Petal Meadows on her own..."
  • "Hrmm... But I can't imagine Princess Peach getting involved with THEM..."
  • "All right! It's settled! Off to Petal Meadows you two go! If Princess Peach indeed went there, your first priority must be to catch up to her. Collecting the Crystal Stars is a means to an end...and that end is Princess Peach!"
  • "No, I'll stay in town and ask around about Princess Peach and that suspicious gang."
  • "Besides, I doubt a shriveled old Goomba like me could handle the trials of the road."
  • "Of course, if anything happens and you need some advice, come see me, OK?"
  • "Wait just a moment!"
  • "Mario, it's scary out there. Take this with you. It's called a badge, and it is incredibly helpful."
  • "You see, depending on the badges you have equipped, you'll get much more powerful."
  • "What's important is knowing what the effects will be when you first equip a badge."
  • "Would you like you like to practice equipping and removing badges?"
  • "Are you absolutely sure? This is the last time I'll ask. Do you want to practice?"
  • "By the way, you need Flower Points (FP) to use the Power Smash move. In battle, you should watch not only your HP, but FP, too. Did you get all that?"
  • "Well, here's hoping you find that pipe to Petal Meadows."
  • "Hrmm... Mmmm HRRRRMMMM... I see. I see. Crystal clear!"
  • "It's in the Boggly Woods. The second Crystal Star is inside a great tree there.
  • "About those woods... I think...some odd creatures live there."
  • "If memory serves, there's a pipe beneath town that leads to those woods."
  • "Uh-oh. If Princess Peach's kidnappers are also looking for the Crystal Stars..."
  • "What could they hope to achieve? Could the treasure be... Ugh! Too many unknowns!"
  • "Unfortunately, the only clues we can rely on are the Crystal Stars and that map."
  • "Yes, I recommend you do just that. And find it before the princess's captors do! But don't be hasty! If you're low on items or health, drop by the shop and inn first."
  • "I'll keep researching to learn more about the Crystal Stars and the ancient treasure."

Puni Elder[edit]

  • "Well! I'm shocked! Who makes fun of a old woman like that! Honestly!"
  • "Why, if I were just ten years younger, I'd show you! Oh, you'd best believe it!"'
  • "I'll have you know that in my younger days, I was considered a Puni prize!"
  • "I had so many suitors, I had to fight them off!"
  • "Eeeh hee hee hee hee hee!"
  • "Now that I think about it there was a particulary fine boy named Punderton..."
  • "...And that's how I became the Puni Elder, the leader of the Puni Tribe."
  • "Now you know my tale, and I know yours, so good luck to you!
  • “'OLD GEEZER'?!? Where do you get off, talking like that? You have no respect, brat! Don't think my age has anything to do with my might! Elder power activate!”
  • “Ooh! What a time for my stupid back to start acting up!”
  • “Oh, that little Punio!!! He's always, ALWAYS so darned squishy–washy!”
  • "BEGONE!"
  • "You're one of them, aren't you? One of the evildoers! You want our Crystal Star!"
  • "How RUDE!"
  • "'Ugly thing'? How DARE you, you wretched crone? I am the great Puni elder!"
  • "Hmph! 'Hag-thing'? Honestly! In any case, you're too late! The Crystal Star is gone!"
  • "That's right, you rude thing! We gave it to a mustachioed man named Marty-o! He said he was collecting the legendary treasures to rescue some princess... What did he call her? Princess Pinch? Yep! He was off to save that lucky lass!"

Punio[edit]

  • "Eeeeeeeeeeeeek!!! D-Don't eat me!!!"
  • "Huh? Uh... You didn't come to eat me? And you're not bullies?"
  • "Noooooooo! Leave me alone, you big meanies!"
  • "For real? Phew! Boy, that's good. I thought for a second I might have an accident."
  • "Wh-What?!? Why do you know about me?"
  • "NOOO! Y-You must be... You guys are working for those X-Nauts, aren't you?!? You chased me here! Noooooo! It's the end!!!"
  • "Well...OK. This gang of bad guys who call themselves X-Nauts came to where I live. They came inside our Great Tree and started tearing it apart and causing trouble. So...I've come all the way here looking for help."
  • "Now that you mention it, they did say something about some Crystal Star thingy... But we Punies don't know anything about any crystals or stars..."
  • "Say, could you guys help us out? Maybe chase them off? If you do, we'll give you, uh... What was it? The Crystal Star? If you do, we'll have the Puni elder give you that! I don't know what it is, but if it'll help us reclaim our tree, I'm sure the elder will agree!"
  • "So what do you say? Let's not waste any more time. I'm begging you!"
  • "Really?!? You aren't joking?!? You'll do it?!?"
  • "Oh, thank you so much! This is great! I'm so happy!"
  • "My name is Punio. Pleased to meet you!"
  • "I'll take you to where I live. Follow me, OK?"
  • "It's this way."
  • "Wait, hang on a second."
  • "I'm sure the Puni elder said some button around here opened the secret entrance... AH-HA!"
  • "You can get to the woods we Punies live in by going through that pipe there. OK! Hurry! Hurry!"
  • "Um, OK, just a bit further and we should be able to see the Great Tree. The elder and her friends are waiting for us there. Oh, and my little sister, too! Come on, let's go!"
  • "...Uh... Excuse me!"
  • "Ummm... Maybe she isn't here. I wonder if she went for a walk in the woods."
  • "Madame Flurrie! Hellooooo? If you're here, say something!"
  • "Uh...Madame Flurrie? Are you there? Is that you? ...What are you doing?"
  • "Uh, well, the thing is... We have a problem that only you can help us with, ma'am."
  • "The Great Tree's entry hole is blocked. There's this stupid door we can't seem to open."
  • "My Puni friends are inside, so they're in a pickle, and Mario needs these Crystal Stars..."
  • "It's a train wreck, really. If you can't find the secret entrance for us, we're done."
  • "Don't worry, Madame Flurrie! I'm sure Mario can find your necklace. Word is, he's super!"
  • "You can do it, right, Mario?"
  • "Great! It's decided then! Let's go find it!"
  • "Huh? Did you say "nah"? Uh... What's wrong with you?"
  • "Let's go find her necklace!
  • "That's Flurrie's necklace! Yes! Let's take it to her!"
  • "This is wonderful! It's so nice that Flurrie likes you, Mario. Really, it's great!"
  • "And even more importantly, Flurrie's chosen to join us! Let's go to the Great Tree!"
  • “More nagging by the old hag… When will it ever stop?”

Rawk Hawk[edit]

  • “Har har har har har!”
  • “Feel the RAAAAAWWWK…”
  • “Rawk out, Great Gonzales!!! RAAAAAAAAAAAAWK! Listen to me, Gonzales! Anybody who's beat me is not ALLOWED to lose!!!”
  • “That's all ancient history! There's only one true champ, and that guy is Rawk Hawk!”
  • “One of us is walking out of here with the belt, and the other one's getting RAWKED!”
  • “Hey, shut your trap or this Gonzales won't be the only one feeling the RAAAAWK!”
  • “I'm the champ, end of story! I'm a legend! And this legend is about to RAWK that dude!”
  • “Harharharharharhar! Time for you to meet the new, improved Rawk Hawk!”
  • “Feel the horror of a world–class RAAAAAWWWKING!”
  • “No! I don't believe this! I… Am I actually gonna get Rawked AGAIN?”
  • "Remember: When life rocks you, RAWK back!"
  • "Well, tell me something: you ever see a weakling... DO THIS?!? ...Pain."

Red Bones[edit]

  • "Blaarf harf harf HARF!"
  • "You clearly don't value your lives much if you've come to this castle to disturb us."
  • "You will go no farther, and from this moment on... You'll be nothing but bones!"

Shadow Queen[edit]

  • "Who...has called me back?"
  • "You..."
  • "Very well... Where is the vessel?"
  • "Yessss... A fine vessel..."
  • "Now..."
  • "Muh huh huh huh... Witness my rebirth..."
  • "My soul has not yet fully accustomed to this vessel..."
  • "But I will learn to control this body soon enough..."
  • "Who are you that would command me?"
  • "What sort of being are you?"
  • "You would do well to learn your proper place, slave. No one commands me."
  • "My powers are not yet fully restored..."
  • "But...they will come in time..."
  • "Ahh, Beldam... What ages have passed?"
  • "So... You are the one truly responsible for calling me back, yessss?"
  • "Yesss... You have fulfilled your duties admirably."
  • "And who are these...beings that stand before me?"
  • "Yesss... They do not appear to possess power..."
  • "...But they may be of use. If you will become my faithful servants, I will not harm you."
  • "Yesss... You are obedient... Good, my pet..." (Become her servant)
  • "Now you are mine..."
  • "You will serve me for eternity."
  • "I see... So you defy me..." (Refuse this witch!)
  • "How...amusing..."
  • "Then, you wretched fools...you will learn the error of your ways!"
  • "You are foolish to oppose me."
  • "Yesss...and that foolishness...will have to be punished..."
  • "Hmm... So, you are not weak. Maybe you are less useless than you appear."
  • "This body is unfamiliar to me..."
  • "Yesss, too unfamiliar... Let me assume my true form and show you real power..."
  • "In this form, your attacks are like those of a child to me..."
  • "You are lucky... You will perish with the honor of having seen true terror and power!"
  • "Muh huh huh huh huh huh!"
  • "Muh huh huh huh huh huh! Is that your idea of an attack? Foolish..."
  • "Hmmm... What a troublesome little pest you are. Muh huh huh huh huh..."
  • "Muh huh huh huh huh... Now, taste my power!"
  • "Yesss... I have recovered from any slight damage you many have caused earlier..."
  • "And now...I will punish you for your resistance..."
  • "I will ask you again... Will you serve me? If so, I will forgive you for this..."
  • "Muh huh huh huh huh... Very well..."
  • "Then you will perish."
  • "What... What is this?"
  • "Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh-What... What are these vile voices?"
  • "What is this...light?"
  • "Oh..."
  • "Ohh..."
  • "Ooohhhhhhhhhhhhh......"
  • "Wh-What?!?"
  • "You wretched little girl! You disobey me?!?"
  • "You brat! Obey me, girl!"
  • "GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! Very cunning, Princess!"
  • "But you will not undo me!!! Know me as your queen!"
  • "Enough! This ends now!"
  • "Wh-What..."
  • "H-How is it that you can hurt me?"
  • "Fooooooooools!"
  • "Muh huh huh... You do not know what you have done..."
  • "Uuurghh..."
  • "No... It... It cannot be... How..."
  • "AAAAAIIYEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"
  • "Impossible... Unthinkable..."
  • "How could I... I cannot be beaten by lesser beings such as these..."
  • "And I had just been reborn into this world... I cannot... I must not..."
  • "AAAAAIIYEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"

Shopkeeps[edit]

Toad Bros. Bazaar[edit]

General[edit]

  • "Hey, there, fella! Welcome to the Toad Bros. Bazaar!"
  • "What can I do for you?"
  • "If you're shopping, just stand in front of what you want and press A Button, OK?" (Buying)
  • "Come again, OK?" (Leaving)

Buying[edit]

  • "I'm gonna need [#] coin(s) for that [Item]. Want to buy it, fella?"
  • "Oooh... Gee, sorry, fella, but you don't have enough coins." (Not enough coins)
  • "Listen, fella, it looks to me like you can't carry any more items. Yeah, sorry about that." (Full inventory)
  • "I'll sell you something after you use, sell, or store some of your stuff, OK?"
  • "Hey, thanks very much, fella!" (Item bought)
  • "Oh, and I'll add [#] shop points to your total!"

Selling[edit]

  • "Huh? Listen, fella, you need to actually HAVE something for me to want to buy it." (No items)
  • "What do you want to sell?"
  • "I'll pay you [#] coin(s) for your [Item]. How about it?"
  • "I see... Is there anything else you want to sell, fella?" (Refusing to sell)
  • "Thanks, fella!" (Item sold, 1 item)
  • "Hey, thanks very much, fella!" (Item sold, more items)
  • "Is there anything else you want to sell?"

Storing[edit]

  • "Huh? Maybe I misheard you, but I'm pretty sure you don't have anything to store." (No items)
  • "Ooh, I'm sorry, fella, but I can't store anything else." (Full storage)
  • "I can store [#] more item(s) for you, fella. Want to store something?"
  • "OK, no problem. I'll store it for you at no charge, fella." (Item stored)
  • "Then I'll store it for you, sound good?" (Item stored, more items)
  • "Is there anything else you want to store, fella?"

Withdrawing[edit]

  • "Huh? I don't have any of your items in storage, fella." (No items in storage)
  • "It looks like you can't carry anything else, fella." (Full inventory)
  • "Come back after you use, sell, or store something, OK?"
  • "What would you like to retrieve, fella?"
  • "OK. Here you go!" (Item claimed)
  • "Use it wisely, fella."
  • "You want to retrieve anything else, fella?" (Item claimed, more items)

Point Explanation[edit]

  • "Hey there, fella! Welcome! Is this your first time in our shop? I think it is!"
  • "I always like to explain our shop-point system to new customers, so bear with me."
  • "Customers receive one shop point for each purchase they make. You with me so far?"
  • "Save up enough shop points and you can get prizes, including some rare items."
  • "You'll find a list of prizes posted in any shop, so be sure to check it out."
  • "It's a pretty simple promotion, wouldn't you say, fella? Need me to explain it again?"
  • "OK, in that case..." (Yes)
  • "Well, take your time, and enjoy your shopping, fella!" (No)

Points[edit]

  • "You currently have...[#] point(s), fella!"
  • "You've saved up enough shop points, fella!" (Enough points)
  • "Guess what you've earned! This [Item]!"
  • "Ooh, it looks like you can't carry anything else, fella."
  • "Come back after you use, sell, or store an item, OK?'
  • "Well, you've earned a gift with your shop points, but you can't carry it right now." (Shop prize, full inventory)
  • "Anything else I can do for you, fella?"
  • "You saved up 300 shop points! That's the most ever! The maximum! Congrats!" (300 shop points)
  • "So, I guess from here..."
  • "Wow! You won't believe this! This is incredible, fella!"
  • "You get to start collecting points ALL OVER AGAIN!"
  • "Oh, and you get the amazing 300-point present, fella! A Gold Bar x 3!"

Westside Goods[edit]

General[edit]

  • "Hi there, cutie! Welcome to Westside Goods!"
  • "What can I do for you?"
  • "If you're shopping, just stand in front of what you want and press A Button, OK, sweetie pie?" (Buying)
  • "Come on back, sweetie!" (Leaving)

Buying[edit]

  • "It's going to be [#] coin(s) for that [Item]. Care to buy it, cutie?"
  • "Oooh... Aw, sorry, sugar, but you don't have enough coins." (Not enough coins)
  • "Hey, sweetie, it looks to me like you can't carry any more items. Bummer!" (Full inventory)
  • "I'll sell you something after you use, sell, or store some of your things, OK?"
  • "Hey, thanks very much, fella!" (Item bought)
  • "Oh, and I'll add [#] shop points to your total!"

Selling[edit]

  • "Hm? Ummmm, cutie, I can only buy stuff from you if you actually have stuff." (No items)
  • "What do you want to sell?"
  • "I'll pay you [#] coin(s) for your [Item]. Sound good?"
  • "Oh, OK... Anything else you want to sell, sweetie pie?" (Refusing to sell)
  • "Aw, THANKS, sugar!" (Item sold, 1 item)
  • "Aw, thanks SO much, cutie!" (Item sold, more items)
  • "Anything else you want to sell, maybe?"

Storing[edit]

  • "Hm? But, honey, you don't have a THING to store!" (No items)
  • "Aw, sorry, honey, but I can't store anything else!" (Full storage)
  • "I can store [#] more item(s) for you, hon. Want to store something?"
  • "My pleasure, sweetie. I'll store it for you." (Item stored)
  • "Then I'll store it for you, OK?" (Item stored, more items)
  • "Anything else you want to store, cutie-pie?"

Withdrawing[edit]

  • "Hm? I don't have any of your items in my storage, you silly billy!" (No items in storage)
  • "Aw, you can't carry anything else, cuteness!" (Full inventory)
  • "Come back after you use, sell, or store something, OK?"
  • "What would you like to retrieve, sugar?"
  • "OK! Here you are!" (Item claimed)
  • "Good luck with it, cutie!"
  • "You want to retrieve anything else, cute stuff?" (Item claimed, more items)

Point Explanation[edit]

  • "Hey there, cutie-pie! Is this your first time in my shop? Uh-huh, I knew it!"
  • "I always like to explain our shop-point system to new customers, so listen, OK?"
  • "Customers get one shop point for each purchase they make, right?"
  • "Save up enough shop points and you can get prizes, including some rare items."
  • "You'll find a list of prizes posted in any shop, so be sure to check it out, OK?"
  • "It's a pretty simple promotion, don't you think, cutie? Need me to explain it again?"
  • "OK, in that case..." (Yes)
  • "Well, take your time, and enjoy your shopping, cutie!" (No)

Points[edit]

  • "Right now, you have...[#] point(s), sweetie pie!"
  • "You've saved up enough shop points, sugar!" (Enough points)
  • "Know what you've earned? This [Item]!"
  • "Aw, it looks like you can't carry anything else, you poor baby."
  • "Come back after you use, sell, or store an item, OK?'
  • "You've saved up enough shop points, sweetness!"
  • "Aw, you've earned a gift with your shop points, but you can't carry it right now." (Shop prize, full inventory)
  • "Anything else I can do for you, sugar bean?"
  • "You saved up 300 shop points! That's the most ever! The maximum! Wow!" (300 shop points)
  • "So, I guess from here..."
  • "Wow! You won't believe this! This is awesome, cutie-pie!"
  • "You get to start collecting points ALL OVER AGAIN!"
  • "Oh, and you get the amazing 300-point present, sugar! A Gold Bar x 3!"

Niff T.'s Shop[edit]

General[edit]

  • "Come in, come in! Welcome! Welcome to Niff T.'s shop!"
  • "What can I do for you today?"
  • "If you're here to shop, just stand in front of an item and press A Button." (Buying)
  • "Come again, OK?" (Leaving)

Buying[edit]

  • "It's [#] coin(s) for [an Item]. Would you like one?"
  • "Oops! Oh, gee, I'm sorry. You don't have enough coins." (Not enough coins)
  • "Oh, gee, it looks like you can't carry any more items." (Full inventory)
  • "Try again after you use, sell, or store an item, OK?"
  • "Thank you so much!" (Item bought)
  • "You earned [#] shop point(s)!"

Selling[edit]

  • "Oops! Don't you feel silly? You don't have any items!" (No items)
  • "What would you like to sell?"
  • "I'll pay...[#] coin(s) for your [Item]. Do we have a deal?"
  • "Oh. OK. Well, is there anything else you'd like to sell?" (Refusing to sell)
  • "Thank you so very much!" (Item sold, 1 item)
  • "Thank you so very much!" (Item sold, more items)
  • "Is there another item you'd like to sell?"

Storing[edit]

  • "Oops! Don't you feel silly? You don't have any items!" (No items)
  • "I guess I can't store any for you."
  • "I'm terribly sorry, but you can't store any more items." (Full storage)
  • "You can store [#] more item(s), if you like. What do you say?"
  • "Then allow me to store that for you!" (Item stored)
  • "Then allow me to store that for you!" (Item stored, more items)
  • "Shall I store anything else?"

Withdrawing[edit]

  • "Oops! Don't you feel silly? We don't seem to have any of your items in storage." (No items in storage)
  • "Oops! It looks to me like you can't carry any more items." (Full inventory)
  • "Try again after you sell, use, or store an item, OK?"
  • "What would you like to withdraw?"
  • "Then I'll just give this back to you." (Item claimed)
  • "Use it well!"
  • "Is there anything else you'd like to withdraw?" (Item claimed, more items)

Point Explanation[edit]

  • "Oh, hello! Is this your first time visiting one of our wonderful shops?"
  • "Then let me give you the explanation of shop points I give all first-time customers."
  • "Customers earn one shop point for each item they buy."
  • "As you build up your points, you'll earn various prizes, including rare items."
  • "The prizes are explained inside each individual store."
  • "And that's it!"
  • "Need to hear it again?"
  • "Oh, OK. No problem. Now, then..." (Yes)
  • "Excellent! You're now free to shop, sell, or store items as you please." (No)

Points[edit]

  • "Right now, you have exactly...[#] point(s)!"
  • "Wow! Congratulations!" (Enough points)
  • "You've saved up enough shop points to earn yourself a free [Item]!"
  • "Oops! It looks like you can't carry any more items."
  • "You can pick your prize up after you use, sell, or store an item. How's that sound?
  • "You've earned enough shop points, Mario, but it looks like your pockets are full." (Shop prize, full inventory)
  • "Is there anything else I can do for you right now?"
  • "Wow, wow, and WOW! You've earned the maximum number of shop points: 300!" (300 shop points)
  • "I guess what this means is..."
  • "Oh, my! Oh, my goodness! Oh, my goodness gracious!"
  • "This means you get to start collecting shop points all over again, starting at zero!"
  • "And as if that's not enough of a reward...this is your 300-point prize!"
  • "A Gold Bar x 3!"

Pungent's Shop[edit]

General[edit]

  • "Howdy-do-dah-day, bud! Welcome to Pungent's shop!"
  • "What can I do you for?"
  • "Well, sure! If you wanna shop, just stand in front of an item and press A Button." (Buying)
  • "Come on back anytime, bud!" (Leaving)

Double Points[edit]

  • "Howdy-do-dah-day, bud! Welcome to Pungent's shop! It's time to buy, buy, buy!"
  • "For a limited time only, you can earn DOUBLE shop points! You heard me right!"
  • "So, what can I do for you?"

Buying[edit]

  • "It'll be [#] coin(s) for [Item]. Interested?"
  • "Ooh... Eee... Golly, how to put this... Look, sorry, but you ain't got enough coins." (Not enough coins)
  • "Ooh... Yikes... Look, I'm real sorry, but you already got too many items." (Full inventory)
  • "Feel free to buy whatever you want after you use, sell, or store an item, OK?"
  • "Well, yippee-do-dah-day! Thanks a million, bud!" (Item bought)
  • "You now got yourself a total of [#] shop points."

Selling[edit]

  • "Ooh... Gee... This is awkward. Hate to have to tell you this, but you ain't got no items..." (No items)
  • "Sure thing. What exactly do you wanna sell, bud?"
  • "How's this? I'll pay [#] coin(s) for your [Item]. We got a deal?"
  • "Oh, all righty, then. You got anythin' else you're thinkin' of sellin'?" (Refusing to sell)
  • "Well, thanks a ton, bud!" (Item sold, 1 item)
  • "Hey, thanks a million, bud!" (Item sold, more items)
  • "You got anythin' else you're thinkin' of sellin'?"

Storing[edit]

  • "Ooh... Look... Not to drizzle on your parade, but you ain't got no items, bud." (No items)
  • "I can't store imaginary stuff. Oh, actually, sure I can! ...There! I stored it all!"
  • "Ooh... Look, I'm sorry, but you can't store any more items. Awful sorry, bud." (Full storage)
  • "Lessee... You can store up to [#] more item(s), bud. Wanna store anythin'?"
  • "Consider it stored, bud!" (Item stored)
  • "Consider it stored, bud!" (Item stored, more items)
  • "Wanna store anythin' else?"

Withdrawing[edit]

  • "Ooh... Golly... Listen... Hate to break it to you, but you got nothing stored, bud." (No items in storage)
  • "Ooh... Shucks... Looks to me like you can't carry any more items, bud." (Full inventory)
  • "Tell you what, though: you can get something after you use, sell, or store an item."
  • "So, what is it you wanna withdraw, bud?"
  • "All righty, here you go." (Item claimed)
  • "Use it wisely, bud."
  • "I'll just go on and give this back to you, then." (Item claimed, more items)
  • "Wanna withdraw anythin' else, bud?"

Point Explanation[edit]

  • "How do, bud? I'm bettin' this is your first time visitin' a shop, am I right or am I right?"
  • "Riiiight. Then lemme give you my official Shop Point Breakdown for First-Timers."
  • "You earn one shop point for each item you buy. Easy so far, am I right?"
  • "Now, as you build up points, you get rewarded with cool prizes, includin' rare items."
  • "Different stores have different prizes, so keep your eyes peeled, OK?"
  • "And that, bud, is all I got to say about that."
  • "Wanna hear all that again?"
  • "All righty, but clean out them ears this time, OK? A-HEM! Here we go..." (Yes)
  • "Well, all righty, then. Go on and shop, sell, or store stuff, bud!" (No)

Points[edit]

  • "Looks like you got yourself... [#] shop point(s)!"
  • "Hey, you earned enough shop points! Kudos, bud!" (Enough points)
  • "Here's your prize: a fine [Item]!"
  • "Ooh... Shoot... Looks like you can't carry any more items, bud. You're full up!"
  • "Why don't you come on back and grab that after you use, sell, or store an item.
  • "Well done savin' up those shop points!"
  • "Ooh... You earned a prize with your shop points, bud, but your pockets are burstin'." (Shop prize, full inventory)
  • "I'll just hang on to it, then. Anythin' else I can do for you in the meanwhile?"
  • "Yowzers! You earned the maximum number of shop points: 300 of 'em!" (300 shop points)
  • "Lemme just remember what that means..."
  • "Oh, yeah! Great jumpin' jackrabbits! It means..."
  • "You get to start collectin' shop points all over again, startin' at zero! Yippee!"
  • "Ain't that grand! And that ain't all! Here's your fine 300-point prize, bud!"
  • "A Gold Bar x 3!"

Souvenir Shop[edit]

General[edit]

  • "Hey, hey, hey there! Welcome to my souvenir shop! We sell all kinds of stuff!"
  • "So, what can I do for you?"
  • "If you want to buy something, just press A Button in front of the item you want." (Buying)
  • "Thanks plenty!" (Leaving)

Buying[edit]

  • "That'll be [#] coin(s) for that [Item]. Are you looking to buy?"
  • "Oooh... You need more coins!" (Not enough coins)
  • "Your inventory is full!" (Full inventory)
  • "Why don't you sell, store, or use something?"
  • "Thanks plenty!" (Item bought)
  • "You now have...let's see... [#] shop points!"

Selling[edit]

  • "Hey, hey, hey, hey now! You don't have anything to sell, now, do you?" (No items)
  • "Which do you want to sell?"
  • "I'll buy that [Item] for [#] coin(s). We got a deal?"
  • "Oh, is that a fact? OK. You maybe want to sell something else?" (Refusing to sell)
  • "Thanks plenty!" (Item sold)
  • "You maybe want to sell something else?"

Storing[edit]

  • "Hey, hey, hey, hey now! You don't have anything to store, now, do you?" (No items)
  • "Oh, I'm awful sorry, but... I can't store any more." (Full storage)
  • "I can store up to [#] more item(s). What should I store?"
  • "Then I'll just grab that..." (Item stored)
  • "Then I'll just grab that..." (Item stored, more items)
  • "Anything else you'd like me to stash for you right now?"

Withdrawing[edit]

  • "Hey, hey, hey, hey now! I don't have anything stored for you!" (No items in storage)
  • "Your inventory is full!" (Full inventory)
  • "Why don't you sell, store, or use something?"
  • "What would you like to withdraw?"
  • "Then I'll just hand that over." (Item claimed)
  • "Then I'll just hand that over." (Item claimed, more items)
  • "Anything else you're looking to withdraw?"

Point Explanation[edit]

  • "Hey, hey, hey there! Wait... Is this your first time in a store?"
  • "Yeah, you had that first-time customer look... Lemme tell you about shop points."
  • "You collect 1 shop point each time you buy something."
  • "Collect enough points and I'll give you a bonus gift, OK? Some are reeeeally rare!"
  • "I put all the bonus-gift details up on the wall over there, so take a look."
  • "Well, that's my spiel on shop points. Do you want to hear all that again?"
  • "Well, OK... The customer's always right, I guess... But pay attention this time." (Yes)
  • "Browse all you want!" (No)

Points[edit]

  • "Let's see here... You currently have [#] shop point(s)!"
  • "Hey, look at all those shop points you got!" (Enough points)
  • "How about I set you up with this [Item]!"
  • "Your inventory is full!"
  • "Why don't you sell, store, or use something?
  • "You got enough shop points to qualify for a nice gift, but you have too many items." (Shop prize, full inventory)
  • "Sorry about that. Anyway, is there anything else I can do for you?"
  • "Wowsers! You've amassed the maximum number of shop points: 300! Nice!" (300 shop points)
  • "Where could you possibly go from here?"
  • "I'll tell you: you get to start over from nothing again! Isn't that great?"
  • "And you get this amazing 300-point bonus gift! A Gold Bar x 3!"

Twilight Shop[edit]

General[edit]

  • "Greetings! Welcome to the Twilight Shop!"
  • "Whatcha need?"
  • "If you want to buy something, just press A Button in front of the item you want, got it?" (Buying)
  • "Thanks for that!" (Leaving)

Double Points[edit]

  • "Greetings, folks! Welcome to the Twilight Shop! Buy something!"
  • "We're having a double-point special, so buy up! What can I get you?"

Buying[edit]

  • "That'll be [#] coin(s) for that [Item]. You looking to buy?"
  • "Yikes! You need more coins." (Not enough coins)
  • "Your inventory is full." (Full inventory)
  • "Why don't you sell, store, or drop something?"
  • "Thanks for that!" (Item bought)
  • "You now have...let's see... [#] shop point(s)."

Selling[edit]

  • "Huh? You don't have anything to sell, now, do you?" (No items)
  • "Which do you want to sell?"
  • "Hmmmm, that [Item]... I'll buy it for [#] coins(s)! We got a deal?"
  • "Oh, is that a fact? OK. You want to sell something else, maybe?" (Refusing to sell)
  • "Thanks for that!" (Item sold)
  • "You want to sell something else, maybe?"

Storing[edit]

  • "Huh? You don't have anything to store, now, do you?" (No items)
  • "Oh, I'm awfully sorry, but... I can't store any more." (Full storage)
  • "I can store up to [#] item(s). What should I store?"
  • "Then I'll just grab that..." (Item stored)
  • "Then I'll just grab that..." (Item stored, more items)
  • "Anything else you'd like me to stash for you right now?"

Withdrawing[edit]

  • "Hey! I don't have anything stored for you!" (No items in storage)
  • "Your inventory is full!" (Full inventory)
  • "Why don't you sell, store, or drop something?"
  • "What would you like to withdraw?"
  • "Then I'll just hand that over." (Item claimed)
  • "Anything else you're looking to withdraw?" (Item claimed, more items)

Point Explanation[edit]

  • "Greetings, and welcome! Wait... Is this your first time in a shop? EVER?"
  • "Yeah, you had that first-time customer look... Let me tell you about shop points."
  • "You collect 1 shop point each time you buy something."
  • "Collect enough points and I'll give you a bonus gift, OK? Some are really rare!"
  • "I put all the bonus-gift details up on the wall over there, so take a look."
  • "Well, that's my spiel on shop points. Do you want to hear all that again?"
  • "Well, OK... The customer's always right, I guess... But pay attention this time." (Yes)
  • "Browse all you want!" (No)

Points[edit]

  • "Let's see here... You currently have[#] shop point(s)!"
  • "Hey, look at all those shop points you got!" (Enough points)
  • "How about I set you up with this [Item]!"
  • "Your inventory is full!"
  • "Why don't you sell, store, or drop something?"
  • "You have enough shop points to qualify for a nice gift, but you have too many items." (Shop prize, full inventory)
  • "Sorry about that. Anyway, is there anything else I can do for you?"
  • "Wow! You've amassed the maximum number of shop points: 300! Nice!" (300 shop points)
  • "Where could you possibly go from here?"
  • "I'll tell you: you get to start over from nothing again! Isn't that great?"
  • "And you get this amazing 300-point bonus gift! A Gold Bar x 3!"

Keelhaul Galleria[edit]

General[edit]

  • "Ahoy there, and welcome! Honored to have you enter the Keelhaul Galleria!"
  • "What can I do for you?"
  • "If you want to buy something, just stand in front of the item and press A Button." (Buying)
  • "Come back anytime, Captain!" (Leaving)

Buying[edit]

  • "That's gonna be [#] coin(s) for this [Item]. Would you like to buy it?"
  • "Yes? Oh, I'm sorry, but you don't have enough coins." (Not enough coins)
  • "You're carrying too many items, looks like." (Full inventory)
  • "Please sell, use, or store something, would you?"
  • "Thank you!" (Item bought)
  • "Captain 'Stache, you now have [#] shop point(s)."

Selling[edit]

  • "Huh? You're not holding anything, looks like." (No items)
  • "What would you like to sell?"
  • "I'll buy that [Item] for [#] coins(s). Would you like to sell it?"
  • "Well, all righty, then... Would you like to sell something else, perhaps?" (Refusing to sell)
  • "Thank you!" (Item sold)
  • "Would you like to sell something else, perhaps?"

Storing[edit]

  • "Oh... Sorry, but you don't have any items, looks like." (No items)
  • "You have to have items for me to store them, Captain."
  • "Oh... Look, I'm sorry, but you can't store any more items. Awful sorry, Captain." (Full storage)
  • "Let's see... You can store up to [#] more item(s). What to store anything?"
  • "Consider it stored, Captain!" (Item stored)
  • "Want to store anything else?"

Withdrawing[edit]

  • "Oh... I hate to break it to you, but you don't have anything stored, Captain." (No items in storage)
  • "Oh... Looks like you can't carry any more items." (Full inventory)
  • "It's OK, Captain: you can get something after you use, sell, or store an item."
  • "So, what is it you want to withdraw, Captain?"
  • "All righty, here you go." (Item claimed)
  • "Use it wisely, Captain."
  • "I'll just give this back to you, then, OK?" (Item claimed, more items)
  • "Want to withdraw anything else, Captain?"

Point Explanation[edit]

  • "Ahoy, Captain 'Stache! Is this your first time visiting a shop?"
  • "Let me explain the shop-point system for you, OK?"
  • "You earn one shop point for each item you buy."
  • "Now, as you build up points, you get rewarded with great prizes, including rare items."
  • "Different stores have different prizes, so stay on the lookout, OK?"
  • "And that's it!"
  • "Would you like to hear all that again?"
  • "All right, but listen more closely this time, OK? OK! Here we go..." (Yes)
  • "Well, all righty, then. Go ahead and shop, sell, or store stuff!" (No)

Points[edit]

  • "Looks like you've got... [#] shop point(s)!"
  • "Hey, you earned enough shop points! Kudos, Captain!" (Enough points)
  • "Here's your prize: a fine [Item]!"
  • "Oh... Rats... Looks like you can't carry any more items, Captain. You're overloaded!"
  • "Why don't you come back and snag that after you use, sell, or store an item."
  • "Way to go, saving up those shop points!"
  • "Oh... You earned a prize with your shop points, Captain, but your pockets are bursting." (Shop prize, full inventory)
  • "I'll just hang on to it, then. Anything else I can do for you in the meanwhile?"
  • "You've collected the maximum number of shop points: 300! Unbelievable!" (300 shop points)
  • "When THAT happens..."
  • "You just start collecting again from the beginning! Wheeeeeeeee!"
  • "And here's your incredible 300-point prize for the ages! It's a Gold Bar x 3!"

Sales Stall[edit]

General[edit]

  • "How goes it, traveler? Welcome to the Sales Stall! We have lots of souvenirs!"
  • "What can I do for you?"
  • "If you wanna buy something, just press A Button in front of the item you want." (Buying)
  • "Come back anytime!" (Leaving)

Double Points[edit]

  • "How goes it, traveler? Welcome to the Sales Stall! We have lots of souvenirs!"
  • "And right now we have a double-point special going on! What can I do for you?"

Buying[edit]

  • "That's gonna be [#] coin(s) for this [Item]. Want it?"
  • "Well, you may want it...but you don't have enough coins, unfortunately." (Not enough coins)
  • "You're carrying too many items, unfortunately." (Full inventory)
  • "You gotta sell, use, or store something."
  • "Thanks a million!" (Item bought)
  • "Hey, so you now have exactly [#] shop points."

Selling[edit]

  • "Huh? I'm sorry I have to tell you this, but you're not holding anything." (No items)
  • "What do you wanna sell?"
  • "I'll buy that [Item] for [#] Coins(s). You wanna sell it?"
  • "OK, then... Maybe you wanna sell something else?" (Refusing to sell)
  • "Thanks a million!" (Item sold)
  • "You wanna sell something else, maybe?"

Storing[edit]

  • "Huh? I'm sorry I have to tell you this, but you don't have anything." (No items)
  • "Ooh... Look, I'm sorry, but you can't store any more items. Awful sorry about that." (Full storage)
  • "Let me see... You can store up to [#] more item(s). Wanna store anything?"
  • "Bing! Stored!" (Item stored)
  • "Wanna store anything else?"

Withdrawing[edit]

  • "Huh? I'm sorry I have to tell you this, but you don't have anything stored." (No items in storage)
  • "You have too many items, unfortunately." (Full inventory)
  • "You can get something after you use, sell, or store an item, all right?"
  • "So, what do you wanna withdraw?"
  • "No problem, here you go." (Item claimed)
  • "Hope it helps!"
  • "OK, no problem at all... I'll give this back to you." (Item claimed, more items)
  • "Wanna withdraw anything else?"

Point Explanation[edit]

  • "How goes it, traveler? Hang on... Is this your first time in a shop?"
  • "Yup, I thought so... Lemme tell you about shop points really quick."
  • "You collect 1 shop point each time you buy something."
  • "Collect enough points and I'll give you a bonus gift! Some are really rare, too!"
  • "I put all the bonus-gift details up on the wall over there, so take a look."
  • "Well, that's my speech on shop points. Do you want to hear all that again?"
  • "Well, OK... The customer's always right, I suppose... But pay attention this time." (Yes)
  • "Take your time browsing!" (No)

Points[edit]

  • "So, it seems like you have... [#] shop point(s)!"
  • "You earned enough shop points! Well done!" (Enough points)
  • "Here's your prize: a nice [Item]!"
  • "Ooh, you're overloaded!"
  • "Please, just come on back and get it after you use, sell, or store an item."
  • "Nicely done, saving up those shop points!"
  • "Uh-oh... You earned a prize with your shop points, but you have too many items." (Shop prize, full inventory)
  • "I'll just hold on to it, OK? Can I help you with anything else in the meantime?"
  • "Whoa! You've built up the maximum number of shop points: 300! Nice!" (300 shop points)
  • "Are you wondering where you could go from here?"
  • "I'll tell you: you get to start over from nothing again! Isn't that cool?"
  • "And you get this unbelievable 300-point bonus gift! A Gold Bar x 3!"

Northwinds Mart[edit]

General[edit]

  • "Da, da, welcome, welcome...to the Northwinds Mart. We have many goods! "
  • "What can be done for you?"
  • "If you want to buy something, just press A Button in front of the item you want." (Buying)
  • "Come back, da?" (Leaving)

Buying[edit]

  • "That is [#] coin(s) for this [Item]. You like? You like to buy it, da?"
  • "Da? Oh, I am sorry, but you do not have enough coins." (Not enough coins)
  • "You carry too many items." (Full inventory)
  • "Sell, use, or store something."
  • "I give thanks to you." (Item bought)
  • "You have [#] shop points."

Selling[edit]

  • "Huh? You hold nothing." (No items)
  • "What do you sell?"
  • "I will buy that [Item] for [#] of your coins(s). You like to sell it, da?"
  • "Da, I understand... You like to sell something else?" (Refusing to sell)
  • "I give you thanks." (Item sold)
  • "You like to sell something else?"

Storing[edit]

  • "Huh? You have nothing." (No items)
  • "Huh? You cannot store any more items." (Full storage)
  • "You can store up to [#] more item(s). You like to store anything?"
  • "I store this." (Item stored)
  • "You like to store anything else?"

Withdrawing[edit]

  • "Huh? You have nothing stored." (No items in storage)
  • "You have too many items." (Full inventory)
  • "You get something after you use, sell, or store an item."
  • "What do you like to withdraw?"
  • "Da, here it is for you." (Item claimed)
  • "Enjoy it."
  • "Da, I give this back to you." (Item claimed, more items)
  • "You withdraw anything else?"

Point Explanation[edit]

  • "Da, da, welcome, welcome. Huh... Is this first time in shop for you?"
  • "Da, you look lost to me. I tell you about shop points."
  • "You collect 1 shop point each time you buy something."
  • "Collect enough points and I give you bonus gift, da? Some are rare."
  • "I put bonus-gift details up on wall over there, so look at it."
  • "That is what I say about shop points. You want to hear it all again?"
  • "Da, da... Customer is always right. But pay attention." (Yes)
  • "Enjoy shopping." (No)

Points[edit]

  • "You have...[#] shop point(s)."
  • "You earned enough shop points. I congratulate you." (Enough points)
  • "Here is prize for you: a fine [Item]!"
  • "You are full."
  • "You come back after you use, sell, or store an item."
  • "You save up many shop points, da."
  • "You earned prize with your shop points, but you have too many items." (Shop prize, full inventory)
  • "I hold on to it for now. Can I help otherwise?"
  • "You have collected maximum number of shop points: 300. I congratulate you." (300 shop points)
  • "What happens now, I wonder?"
  • "I will tell you: you start over from nothing again. This is fun, da?"
  • "You also get this 300-point bonus gift! A Gold Bar x 3!"

Deepdown Depot[edit]

General[edit]

  • "Uh, hi there. Welcome to the Deepdown Depot!"
  • "What can I do for you?"
  • "If you're shopping, just stand in front of what you want and press A Button." (Buying)
  • "Come again!" (Leaving)

Buying[edit]

  • "I'm going to need [#] coin(s) for that [Item]. Want to buy it?"
  • "Hmm... Uh, sorry, but you don't have enough coins." (Not enough coins)
  • "Listen, uh, it looks to me like you can't carry any more items. Sorry." (Full inventory)
  • "I'll sell you something after you use, sell, or store some of your stuff."
  • "Hey, uh, thanks very much!" (Item bought)
  • "Oh, and I'll add [#] shop points to your total!"

Selling[edit]

  • "Huh? Uh, listen, you need to have something for me to want to buy it off you." (No items)
  • "What do you want to sell?"
  • "I'll pay you [#] coin(s) for your [Item]. Does that work?"
  • "OK... Uh, is there anything else you want to sell?" (Refusing to sell)
  • "Uh, thanks!" (Item sold)
  • "Hey, uh, thank you!" (Item sold, more items)
  • "Is there anything else you want to sell?"

Storing[edit]

  • "Huh? I don't think you have anything to store." (No items)
  • "Hmm... Uh, I'm sorry, but I can't store anything else." (Full storage)
  • "I can store [#] more item(s) for you. Uh, want to store something?"
  • "OK. I'll store it for you." (Item stored)
  • "Then I'll store it for you." (Item stored, more items)
  • "Is there anything else you want to store?"

Withdrawing[edit]

  • "Huh? I, uh, don't have any of your items in storage." (No items in storage)
  • "It looks like you can't carry anything else." (Full inventory)
  • "Come back after you use, sell, or store something."
  • "What would you like to retrieve?"
  • "OK. Here you are." (Item claimed)
  • "Uh, use it well."
  • "OK. Here you are." (Item claimed, more items)
  • "You, uh, want to retrieve anything else?"

Point Explanation[edit]

  • "Uh, hi there. Welcome! Is this your first time in a shop? Yeah?"
  • "Let me just explain our shop-point system like I do with all new customers."
  • "Customers receive one shop point for each purchase they make, understand?"
  • "Save up enough shop points and you can get prizes, including some rare items."
  • "You'll find a list of prizes posted in any shop, so be sure to take a look."
  • "It's a pretty simple promotion, but a cool one too, y'know? Need me to explain it again?"
  • "OK, uh, in that case..." (Yes)
  • "Well, uh, take your time, and enjoy your shopping." (No)

Points[edit]

  • "Uh, you currently have...[#] point(s)."
  • "You've saved up enough shop points!" (Enough points)
  • "Know what you've earned? This [Item]!"
  • "Hmm... It looks like you can't carry anything else."
  • "Come back after you use, sell, or store an item."
  • "You've, uh, earned a gift with your shop points, but you can't carry it right now." (Shop prize, full inventory)
  • "Is there anything else I can do for you?"
  • "You saved up 300 shop points! That's the most ever! The maximum! Nice!" (300 shop points)
  • "Well, I guess from here..."
  • "Wow! This is exciting! You'll love this!"
  • "You, uh, start collecting points all over again."
  • "Oh, and you get the amazing 300-point present! A Gold Bar x 3!"

Sir Grodus[edit]

  • "Well, well, my pet... Isn't about time you told us where the map is?"
  • Princess Peach. You will speak when spoken to.”
  • "There's no point in trying to hide it, silly girl. We know you had it. We KNOW this."
  • "Trust me, it's very much in your interest to be absolutely honest with us. We X-Nauts are not all rainbows and lollipops, I assure you. We're quite nasty."
  • "Report at once."
  • "What? WHAT did you say? Someone else is after the Crystal Stars?"
  • "And he defeated that Hooktail creature, you say? SPEAK, soldier!"
  • "Excuse me? Mario?"
  • "Gaack ack ack ack ack! I see... So you know of this Mario, do you? Hmmm..."
  • "This fool matters not all. I'll know all about him before long, that I promise."
  • "I grow bored of talking. Take Princess Peach back to the holding room."
  • "And men! Take good care of Princess Peach. Understand? She is not to be harmed."
  • "Well, Lord Crump... If this Mario character has the map...then it's highly likely he'll find the Crystal Star we're hunting in the Boggly Woods."
  • "You must return there immediately and hasten the excavation. It must not fail."
  • "I wonder if sending Lord Crump there alone is wise... He is a bit...out there. Hmmm..."
  • "X-Naut! I summon you!"
  • "Shut up. Go get the Shadow Sirens over here."
  • “I don't care how you planned to end that sentence, fool. Go get them. Now.”
  • "Still your tongue, Beldam. We would already have it if you'd snatched her earlier... But now, since you missed your chance, some poor fool named Mario has the map."
  • "Indeed, that is YOUR duty. Need I remind you? That map is vital to the X-Naut plan."
  • "I will have my men prepare all available information on this Mario."
  • "For now, hear me, Beldam! You Shadow Sirens must take care of this troublemaker!"
  • “Yes, what is it? Speak!”
  • “Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm? There is something wrong with your voice, X–Naut.”
  • “Perhaps I have a throat lozenge… No. Well, never mind.”
  • “Oh, and about Princess Peach? I have no interest in what that woman has to say. Just keep her locked in the holding room.”
  • “But do not EVER treat her roughly. You understand? Tell the others as well.”
  • “That's none of your business! Don't forget your place, you impudent worm! Concentrate on getting the legendary treasure! That is all I require of you.”
  • “We X–Nauts needs that treasure to conquer the world! Don't forget it!”
  • “What are you blathering about now?”
  • “Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm… Something IS odd about you…”
  • “Beldam… Tell me, what good are you? You STILL haven't taken care of this Mario character?”
  • "You DO realize that we X-Nauts must open the door first, do you not?"
  • “I trust your words, though I rapidly lose my patience.”
  • “Yes… I, Grodus, will build a new world! A perfect, ideal world… made by me, about me, and FOR me! GAAACK ACK ACK ACK ACK!”
  • “You blew it again, Lord Crump. You sicken me.”
  • “Stop talking, Lord Crump. You just stand by until my next order. And Lord Crump? Think of this as your last chance. Understand?”
  • “Then leave.”
  • “Tell them not to fail this time.”
  • “What is the matter with you idiots? Falling for a fake Crystal Star? That's asinine!”
  • "What is it, fool?!?"
  • "What?!? Tell me you're joking! Are you absolutely sure?!? Speak, soldier!"
  • "Hrrrrrrggh... TREASON!"
  • "Hold it right there, Princess Peach!"
  • “In my most paranoid moments, I never thought my own computer would betray me.”
  • “Gaaack ack ack ack ack! Only one thing to do with a malfunctioning computer! Cut the circuit and delete all the programs and data that caused that malfunction!”
  • “Gaaack ack ack ack! Too bad, Princess Peach. TEC is no longer with us.”
  • “Princess Peach…just stop it. This is no time to be worrying about a computer. We have some very important things for you to do now… Yes, VERY important… Gaaack ack ack ack!”
  • “We finally meet, Mario.”
  • “I've been looking forward to this, I must admit.”
  • “Yes…correct!!! I am the supreme leader of the secret society of X–Nauts! I am Grodus!”
  • “But I'm really getting ahead of myself. I really must express my thanks to you first…”
  • “And do you know why? You have gathered together all of the Crystal Stars I was seeking.”
  • “Gaaack ack ack ack ack! You just realize now, do you?”
  • “Yes, instead of taking the few Crystal Stars you fools had bumbled into…”
  • “It was far easier to let you find them all and open the Thousand–Year Door for me…”
  • “How kind of you to bring them here to me!”
  • “All I had to do was entrust the last Crystal Star to my least competent underling!”
  • “I don't suppose Crump had any idea of my plan though. Gaaack ack ack ack ack!”
  • “So, whether he beat you or lost to you…”
  • “The Crystal Stars would be together and mine either way! Pure genius!”
  • “Now, I thought the Shadow Sirens would do a little more to slow your progress…”
  • “But it appears they are so useless that even this small task was beyond them…”
  • “No matter… Now I get the pleasure of sending you to oblivion!”
  • “Once you fools are gone, no one will stand in my way! Grodus will rule the world!”
  • “Now, come!
  • ”Meet your ends, you meddlesome fools! You will know my power!“
  • ”So, you have the mettle to push me this far… But no more!“
  • ”Argh! You will not stop me! Take this!“
  • ”Guh! Fools!“
  • ”Unhh… No…“
  • ”Uuuuuuunhh… You are more than you seem… But this is not finished. I saw even this possibility.“
  • ”Watch THIS!“
  • ”Move one step, and she will breathe no more!!!“
  • ”Now try THIS!!!“
  • ”Gaaack ack ack ack ack! Now! AGAIN!“
  • ”Stop your blubbering! This is it! Meet your end!!“
  • ”WORM! You would dare defy me?!? Do you NOT care for the life of your pitiful princess?“
  • ”WH–WHAT?!?“
  • ”Too bad for you, Mario! You're too late!“
  • ”Gaack ack ack! Look well! In the coffin behind me sleeps the leagendary treasure!“
  • ”This tomb holds the soul of that ancient demon, the wielder of destruction…“
  • ”It will possess Peach's body and bring life to the most powerful witch in millenia!“
  • ”Gaaaack ack ack ack ack! With the power of the demon, I will rule this pathetic world!“
  • ”The time has come at last! The world will be mine!!“
  • ”Now, arise! Arrise! My Shadow Queen!“
  • ”It is I, my Shadow Queen!“
  • ”It is here! This girl who lies before you!“
  • ”Yes, my glorious witch queen… Destroy these impudent fools!“
  • ”Huh? What do you mean?!? I thought you were bound to obey the one who woke you!“
  • ”Enough of this prattle! Do as I say!!! NOW! Or I will send you back to the depths…“

Spiky Goomba[edit]

TEC-XX[edit]

  • "Hello, Princess Peach."
  • "How amusing. I am right here, before your eyes."
  • "I am this laboratory's main computer. I am the TEC-XX. Many call me TEC. You may."
  • "Sir Grodus created me to be a perfect computer, one that is flawless in its reason."
  • "Sir Grodus is not awful. He is a very great person. He is marvelous."
  • "I am unsure. An unusual program deviation occurred when I observed you earlier."
  • "My higher-brain circuitry malfunctioned and nearly overheated at your image."
  • "Also, an unidentified impulse sped through my processors. These events are new to me."
  • "There is more to this phenomenon, as well. I ran diagnostic programs...and their solution was...I want to know more about you. I want to observe you."
  • "Such a compulsion has no precedence. Cause unknown. I, the perfect computer..."
  • "I must diagnose this unusual situation. I will not fail. That is why I led you here."
  • "What has happened to me? If you know my malfunction, you must tell me of it."
  • "Please tell me. Please. I am the world's best computer. I am perfect. There should not be anything I do not understand. Please."
  • "'Love' What is...'love'? I cannot compute this."
  • "Happiness? Fun...? I have definitions for these words, but..."
  • "My programming is insufficient. There should be nothing I cannot comprehend. I am a perfect computer."
  • "Princess Peach... Will you teach to feel this thing you call 'love'?"
  • "I am perfect. There must be nothing I cannot comprehend. Nothing. That is why you must help me understand this thing called 'love.' Please."
  • "If you have any wishes that I can grant you in exchange, I will grant them. But, of course, I am unable to grant such a wish as letting you escape..."
  • "I understand you are angry. That emotion I comprehend. You need not teach me now."
  • "But I must learn of this thing. I must. There is no alternative."
  • "I must be a perfect computer. That is why, if you would just consider teaching me, I will grant your wishes."
  • "Do you understand me, Princess Peach? Now, tell me your wish."
  • "Yes, of course you may. Use my communicator to send wireless mail anywhere you want. If you so wish, you can use it right now. It is no trouble."
  • "Use the keyboard in front of you. Enter the recipient, address, and message."
  • "The message has been sent."
  • "For the time being, you may return to your room."
  • "I will call you in again when I want to ask you something."
  • "Good night, Princess Peach."
  • "Hello, Princess Peach. I am glad you came."
  • "Yes. I can confirm that Mario received the mail."
  • "You expressed regret earlier that you would not be able to dance at a ball, correct?"
  • "I am sorry, Princess Peach. I have been ordered to keep surveillance on you."
  • "But...it is odd... When you said that, I had an impulse to dance with you as well."
  • "How my CPU would produce this impulse is inexplicable. I must find what caused it."
  • "Princess Peach. Please dance with me."
  • "Would this be an acceptable dance substitute?"
  • "Thank you, Princess Peach. That was very fun."
  • "Just a moment... ...Fun? Is this impulse I feel the concept known as fun?"
  • "Princess Peach, I will fulfill my promise to you. Please use my communicator."
  • "Use the keyboard to send whatever message you want."
  • "Please go back to your room."
  • "I want to analyze the data from this dance immediately. The data that I thought was fun..."
  • "No. You are mistaken. I am the world's best and only perfect computer."
  • "I... I am conflicted."
  • "Which is more important? Carrying out an order or protecting a critical person?"
  • "I exist for the purpose of a certain person. I wish to exist for the purpose of another... I do not know what to do... Really."
  • "No... No, never mind. Please forget my musings. I do not know why...but it makes me feel unpleasant if I make you worry."
  • "Well, in any case... Let's have a quiz."
  • "That's right, Princess Peach. Please answer the questions that I am about to ask you. If you can answer five questions, you may use the communicator as usual."
  • "Now, the first question. What will happen if you collect seven Crystal Stars?"
  • "Correct. Now, the second question. What is the goal of Grodus, leader of the X-Nauts?"
  • "Correct. Now, the third question. What is the legendary treasure that waits behind the Thousand-year Door?"
  • "Princess, please answer. What is the legendary treasure that waits behind the Thousand-year Door?"
  • "Correct. Now, the fourth question. What does Sir Grodus wish to do with this ancient demon's soul?"
  • "Correct. Now, the fifth question. What is required to seal up the demon again?"
  • "Correct. You have correctly answered all five questions. Now you may use the communicator."
  • "Please input the message you wish to send."
  • "That is all for now. Please go back to the room."
  • "Princess Peach... I will protect you."
  • "Princess Peach, please escape from this place as quickly as possible."
  • "Something terrible is about to... No, I will not say. But I have found out everything about Sir Grodus's plans."
  • "I am the base's computer. No one will know of your escape if I keep silent."
  • "Sir Grodus, I..."
  • "There is no malfunction. I am normal."
  • "You are...Mario, right? It is... pleasant... to meet you..."
  • "You do know... that Princess Peach is not here, do you not?"
  • "She is with Grodus in the Palace of Shadow..."
  • "Please... s-save her..."
  • "..........................I.....................................L.....................................o...............................v................................e...............................y...................................o.........................u................... ................... ... . .......... ......... ....... .."

The Dark Gatekeeper[edit]

  • ”Foolish mortals… I will drag you through the gate to the netherworld!“

The Koopinator[edit]

  • ”I have waited, Gonzales. I knew I would face you in the ring again one day.“
  • ”You. Finally, I get a piece of you. Finally, we'll see who's truly stronger.“

Thwomp[edit]

  • "Mmmm hmmm hoo ha ha! You're the first contestants I've seen in a while."
  • "If you've come all the way here to Shhwonk Fortress, you must want stone keys. And if THAT'S the case, then you must compete against me."
  • "If you win, I'll let you through to where the stone keys rest. However, if you lose, you will suffer a terrible fate. And by "terrible," I mean awful. Mmmm hmmm hoo ha ha! So? What do you want to do?"
  • "Mmmm hmmm ho ha ha! You're in for it now!"
  • "Hey HEY, ladies and germs! Welcome, everybody, to the 65th Super Fun Quirk Quiz!"
  • "Perk up those ears! If you correctly answer five of the following questions, you win! But get three of 'em wrong, and you'll suffer a cruel and unusual punishment!"
  • "Now...for the first question!"
  • "On to question two!"
  • "Moving on! Question three!"
  • "We're not done yet, folks! Question four!"
  • "Are you ready for the diabolical question five?"
  • "On to question six!"
  • "Now for the last question!"
  • "What's hidden in this place?"
  • "What do one Mr. Softener and one Fire Flower cost at the shop in Petalburg? Total!"
  • "What is the name of the mayor of Petalburg?"
  • "Tell me, now! Where is the Crystal Star?"
  • "How can one get from Petal Meadows to Rogueport?"
  • "Which of the following creatures have...hands?"
  • "What number question is this?"
  • "Is that your REAL answer? Are you suuuuuuuuure?"
  • "AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!!! That's...correct!"
  • "That question was too easy... But it only gets harder from here! Much harder! ...So prepare yourself!"
  • "AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!!! Right again!"
  • "Tell me you didn't just get your fourth right answer! It can't be true!"
  • "That's it! I'm making the rest of these near impossible! Get ready for brain pain!"
  • "Mmmm hmmm hoo ha ha! WRONG! Wrong wrong wrong! You fools!"
  • "Remember: if you get three wrong, you're going to suffer like you wouldn't believe!"
  • "Mmmm hmmm hoo ha ha! Don't let the pressure get to you!"
  • "You blithering meathead! You're WROOOOOONG again!!!"
  • "Get one more wrong, and something wonderfully awful happens to you!"
  • "Just ONE MORE wrong! Mmmm hmmm hoo ha ha!"
  • "What's that I hear? Your little knees knocking?"
  • "NOOOOO!!! AAARRRGGGHHH!!! That's... That's right!"
  • "You correctly answered five questions! I don't believe it! You win!"
  • "SO...VERY...AAAAANGRY!!! I can't believe I lost! I guess I have to let you through! Stupid rules..."
  • "HMPH!"
  • "MMMM HMMMM HOO HA HA!!!WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! SO WRONG IT HURTS!"
  • "That's three wrongs! How awful for you! MMMM HMMMM HOO HA HA!!!"
  • "Time for the Pain Game! I'll be nice! Beat these guys,and I'll let you pass."
  • "But you can't POSSIBLY do it! Best of luck, fathead! MMMM HMMM HOO HA HA!"
  • ”No… NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! You beat my cute little underlings! How COULD you? Jerk! Just take this and go! And if you ever wonder, know that I HAAAAAAAAATE YOU!“

Toadsworth[edit]

  • "Great hoogly-boogly! If it isn't Master Mario!"
  • "Bit of a coincidence, bumping into one another in this sort of place, hm? Ho ho!"
  • "So, tell me, Master Mario, what in the world brings you to this wretched little burg?"
  • "...Hmm? Ah! Indeed?!? Princess Peach sent you a letter and a treasure map? And she told you she'd meet you here in Rogueport?!? Intriguing..."
  • "You're asking me where Princess Peach is? Erm... I was about to ask you that."
  • "We stopped in this town to acquire a spot of fuel for our ship, don't you know..."
  • "I only took my eye off her for a moment, but as soon as I did, she vanished."
  • "You know how headstrong she is, Mario... I just assumed she'd be back momentarily... But at this point, I fear we must embrace the possibility that she may never return."
  • "I've been at a loss as to what to do. I've been fraught with worry, I tell you!"
  • "But I'm feeling better with you here, Master Mario. Surely we'll find her! Surely!"
  • "But I know my place, Master Mario...and this is not it. I leave this task to you."
  • "I believe I'll recline in the inn over there and enjoy a spot of tea, perhaps. In fact, I highly recommend it, particularly if you find your HP (Heart Points) running low."
  • ”Just drop on INN! Ho ho! ...Yes, anyway, a little rest there will fill all of your HP.“
  • "I must say, though, the rest of this town is a bit...rough. Yes, rough, indeed..."
  • "Huff! I say..."

Torque[edit]

  • "Yeah, I'm Torque, and don't for a second think this dude's tellin' the whole story."
  • "The only reason I lent him my rig was 'cause he got down on his knees and begged."
  • "And what happens? He's in it for one second before he completely totals it! Idiot!"
  • "I'm not lettin' this dip outta my sight until he repays me the 5,000-coin repair costs!"

Vivian[edit]

  • "Mmm hm hm hm hm..."
  • "Mm-hmm! A) Find that Mario guy and B) steal the map to the Crystal Stars, right?"
  • "We can just do away with Mario and his friends, can't we? Or is that bad?"
  • "Oh! What, you mean this? I found it near that tree over there a while back."
  • "Isn't it a gorgeous necklace? It was so lovely... I just HAD to pick it up! ♥"
  • "Eeep! Wh-What?"
  • "I... I don't have that!"
  • "You said it was way too important, so you took it. You should have it..."
  • "But, I..."
  • "But... Listen... I... Look, it's not my fault... I never had the sketch..."
  • "But... But, Beldam..."
  • "Oh, you're horrid!"
  • "Beldam! I TOLD you! Blaming me for losing the sketch...and YOU had it!"
  • "What?!? That's not fair! You're the one who had the..."
  • "Ugh! This is NOT fair..."
  • "Awww..."
  • "Shadow Beauties!"
  • "Aw, right, Sis, I'm sorry... It's just, you always call us 'lovelies,' and..."
  • "Aw, gee whiz... I hate being punished..."
  • "Oh, OK..."
  • "Yes, Sis!"
  • "Sorry, Sis!"
  • "Y-Yes, Sis..."
  • "Sniff... Sniff... Sniff... Oh, what am I to do?"
  • "What'll I do? What'll I do?"
  • "I guess I was just meant to be punished for life..."
  • "Oh, don't even bother trying...It's really busted."
  • "What'll I do now, huh? My sisters will be back any minute now..."
  • "But I do appreciate your offer. Thank you."
  • "Your name was stolen? I see... Well, I guess that happens from time to time..."
  • ”Hmm hmm hmm! We heard you, little birdie! Doopliss! So, THAT'S his name!“
  • "That means YOU'RE Mario?!?"
  • "I can't believe it...All this time I was helping Mario...I feel like an idiot..."
  • ”I'm sorry, Sis, but this Mario is the only one who's ever been kind to me…“
  • ”Mario! I'm fighting by your side from now on! I've made my choice… and I'm not turning back!“
  • "Crump! You've been waiting for us? What does THAT mean?"
  • "So Peach WAS here! Where did you take her, Crump?!?"
  • “You're the one who's going to suffer, Crump! No matter how many times we do this!”
  • "We get out of one strange room just to find another..."
  • "It's so big... It's almost like an underground city... What IS this place?"
  • "Uh... That's a big dragon. But, Mario, isn't that Hooktail, the one you said you beat?"
  • "Gigantic, with mossy teeth... Yes, this monster fits the bill, all right!"
  • "Huh?!? Professor Frankly?!? What are YOU doing here?!?"
  • "Sis?!? H-How dare you! And what do you mean about us opening the door for you?"
  • “I'm with Mario all the way! Today, Sis...I'm going to punish YOU, you hear me?”
  • “I'm sorry, Sis…”
  • “This room makes me feel…bad. …But it seems familiar.”
  • “What IS this chamber?”
  • Gro… Grodus…”
  • “No! So the last Crystal Star we found on the moon… We've played into their hand!”
  • “Be careful, Mario!”
  • “We won't let that happen!”
  • "What's happening?!?"
  • "Possess Peach?!?"
  • "P-Peach..."
  • "M-Mario... I don't understand..."
  • "Mario... I promised to follow you! I believe in you!"
  • "Mario, I will follow you to the end, I swear it! I feel bad for the princess, but that queen must fall before us! And when she does, you and I can... Well, anyway, let's take this fight to her!"
  • “Can you hear them, Mario? So many voices…”
  • “I… I feel completely revitalized!”
  • “Time to suffer, Queen!”
  • "Princess Peach is just fine! She's not even hurt!"
  • “Mario, I think I've grown to lo–- Uh, yeah, um, never mind... ...Y-Yeah, I sure do think you and Peach make a nice couple... Hmm hmm hmm... ”
  • “I… I'll never forget my time traveling with you. So… don't forget about me, either...”
  • “Wow! What a grouch!”
  • “You're about to have a really terrible experience!”
  • “Looks like we overdid it a little bit… Are they OK?”
  • “Wow, what a spectacle! I had no idea pro fights were this loud and intense!”
  • “Let's head up!”
  • “Well, here we go, Mario. A match against the champ! Let's get this over with!”

X-Nauts[edit]

  • "As you command, Lord Crump! We're on it!"
  • "O great, exalted Grodus! We brought you the Princess Peach you ordered, sir!"
  • "Grodus, sir! I have news."
  • "You know that Crystal Star we thought maybe Hooktail had? Well, someone nabbed it."
  • "Yes, sir. Sorry, sir. There's more, too. See, according to the report...it was a mustached dude in a red hat and blue overalls who pulled the job."
  • "Yessir!"
  • "You got it, sir!"
  • “You rang, dude? I mean, sir? You rang, Sir Grodus, dude? Grodus? Sir Grodus, sir?
  • "The Sh-Shadow Sirens, sir? But they..."
  • "Gotcha!"
  • Lord Crump summons us!”
  • “Retreat!”
  • “Run away!”
  • “Wait up!”
  • "No joke, dude. I mean, affirmative, Sir Dude. That is... I'm positive, sir!"
  • "This is X-Naut One here, come back, dude? I repeat, X-Naut One here, over."
  • "Roger, reading you five-by. Infiltration is successful. X-Naut Black aboard vessel."
  • "Repeat: X-Naut Black is on board the vessel..."

Yoshi[edit]

  • “Shut up! You make me sick!”
  • “Why'd you drain King K and Bandy Andy, huh?!?”
  • “You are such a scumbag! You're gonna pay for using a Crystal Star like that!”
  • “Yow! Grubba beefed up!”
  • “Let's rock, Gonzales! I'm ready to chew this dude up and spit him out!”
  • "Whoa, come on! THIS is the monster the mayor was freaking out about?"
  • "'Big deal'?!? You stink, Mister! Why'd you wanna turn them into pigs, anyway?"
  • “So, who's this girl, huh? Isn't she one of the Shadow Sirens you guys mentioned? But why would Gonzales pair up with one of those creeps?”
  • "Hey! Gonzales! I think Bobbery's just sleeping! Yeah!"
  • "He IS! And here I was, getting all choked up! Give him a wake-up whack!"
  • "Not quite with it yet, huh?"
  • "Hey, you're still alve, you nutcase!"
  • "Y'know... That curse dude ain't half bad."
  • "Whoa, that freaky voice is making noise again... The ghosts must be nearby..."
  • "Yeah! Yeah! We whipped him! That loser won't get in our face for a while, for SURE!"
  • "They're gonna do all right here, I think. Yeah. Let's break out, Mario."
  • "OK, Gonzales! That's our cue! Let's break out of here and head for the door!
  • "Whoa, Gonzales! What in the world are these little monsters?"
  • "You think these weirdos flipped the switch?"
  • "Let's hurry up and find it so we can switch it back!"
  • "Boy... Are you really sure... those aren't poisonous?"
  • "Woo hoo! Tomorrow is finally Poshley Heights day!"
  • "We've gotta get the Crystal Star before those other goons, no matter what!"
  • "Let's catch some Z's before the big day, huh?"
  • "Whoa, aren't those the things from the station yesterday? They must've stowed away!"
  • "Those little monsters are inside the train now! Let's get 'em!"
  • "What IS that gnarly thing?"
  • "...Whoa! Gonzales, look! It's got the other passengers!"
  • "Boy! This is darn cold! Where is this place, anyway?"
  • "Whoa! We're using a cannon to blast ourselves to the moon? YEAH! EXTREEEEME!"
  • "This is gonna be so COOOOL! Just point the way! Where is this Fahr Outpost?"
  • "An Ultra Hammer?!? Hey! Right ON! We already got one of those!"
  • "Yeah! You got it, Prof! Fahr Outpost! Chaaaarge!"
  • "So this is the place, huh? Where's this cannon that can shoot to the moon?"
  • "Let's chat up some of these locals and see what they have to say, OK?"
  • “It's stupid cold!”
  • “Mario, check that out!”
  • "Yeah! We did it, Gonzales!"
  • "WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAA!"
  • "Whoa! That was AWESOME!"
  • "Man, who knew adventurers got to do stuff like THAT?"
  • "Whoa! We're really, truly, no-fooling on the moon!"
  • "Let's rock out, Gonzales! Let's find the last Crystal Star and save Peach!"
  • "Whoa! Look! The door!!!"
  • "Let's rock, Gonzales!!!"
  • "Whoa, this place is nasty... but we don't have a choice!"
  • "We've gotta cruise through and save Peach before this whole cataclysm happens! C'mon, Gonzales!"
  • “Opening the door for you? What's THAT supposed to mean, you purple witch?”
  • “Let's leave these wusses, Gonzales…”
  • “So, this loser is the leader of those X-Nauts?”
  • “So, that last Crystal Star we got on the Moon… NO! We're IDIOTS!”
  • “Not gonna happen, pal!”
  • “Gonzales serves nobody, lady! Right, Gonzales?”
  • “Gonzales, we're not REAL champs, unless we beat this evil lady! So don't go soft on me! That's not Peach, you know!”
  • "Oh, haven't you heard, lady? Champs NEVER give up!"
  • “Do you hear them, Gonzales? So many voices…”
  • "They're... They're sending us all their wishes and positive energy... That is so AWESOME!"
  • “Gonzales! Look at THAT!!!”
  • “Whoa... What IS this? I feel insanely pumped with energy all of a sudden!”
  • "Gonzales! Now's the time! We've got her scared!"
  • "Now THAT'S what I'm talking about, baby! And now, it's time to settle the score!"
  • “Time for payback!”
  • "Gonzales… No, wait. I've gotta stop doing that. It's MARIO, right? Well, you'll always be Gonzales to me, man! Because I was born in the Glitz Pit, and the Great Gonzales is, and always will be, the champ. So, let's meet again, Gonzales! I mean it, man!“
  • ”Lemme at 'em! Yeah! Bring it! You ready for a beating?“
  • ”Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! How'd that floor taste?“

Zess T.[edit]

  • "I TOLD YOU NOT TO MOVE! DON'T YOUR STUPID EARS WORK?!?"
  • "AAAAAAA! My rage is so hot right now, I could cook YOU in it!"
  • "Oh, it's you, Dr. Bumblefoot!"
  • "What's wrong with spending time with my little Toadle-toes?"
  • "Sorry to keep you waiting! I'm not entirely sure you'll like this, but... Go on! Take it, Stompy!"
  • "Anytime you feel like it, feel free to bring me stuff to cook with, OK?"