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Treasure
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Description
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Cost
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Found in
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1
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Back Massage Coupon
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A fine, fine gift from a loved one, but a terrible, terrible gift from anyone else. If a stranger gives you one, it's probably a scam. Best to run away.
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$736
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Episode 5
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2
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Mouse Trap Gum
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This jewel of a gag was developed overseas. If you master where and how to employ it, you will be the life of any black-tie gala!
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$491
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Episode 3
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3
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Sandals of Song
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Ancient sandals that sing a hauntingly beautiful tune with every step you take. They tend to leave one's feet with terribly painful corns, however.
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$160
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Episode 1
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4
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Ugly Pricey Furniture
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A set of living room furniture so expensive that your wallet screams in pain. It also doesn't match the carpeting.
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$49800
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Episode 9
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5
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Paranoid Bear Carving
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It may look like a nice little bear carving, but it's actually a malevolent alien robot sent to spy on your every move. Don't turn around.
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$93
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Episode 4
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6
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Ears of Sanguineness
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The wearer of this stunning headgear can hear nothing but good news. It's perfect for those who live the high-stress lifestyle of today's go-go world.
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$2094
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Episode 10
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7
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Stinky Blue Cheese
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This mold-covered cheese is considered a delicacy among the rich, who pay plenty just to have it sprinkled on a salad. Little do they know it's really just been left in the sun too long.
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$2509
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Episode 2
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8
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Crazy Delicious Bamboo
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This is the tastiest bamboo you've ever had. Even the panda, mightiest and most cold-hearted of all creatures, will weep with delight when he samples it.
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$30
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Episode 9
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9
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Royal Golden Tools
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These golden tools were developed for a king. But since gold is one of the world's softest metals, they're pretty much useless. Fun to look at, though.
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$20076
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Episode 5
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10
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Strong Sauce
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Oh, the smell! Oh, the flavor! This stellar sauce makes even the most flavorless vegan food taste divine! There's an out-of-body experience in every bite!
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$79
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Episode 1
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11
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Ab Annihilator
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This device will give you rock-hard abs in only seconds a day. Then you can hit them with a sledgehammer while friends and co-workers stare in awe.
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$140
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Episode 5
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12
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Fancy Ramen Noodle Soup
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This ramen contains a single gold ingot that was once owned by a queen of heartbreaking beauty. Oh, and it's got pork in it, too. Rumor says that it grants you eternal life. ...And trichinosis.
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$6409
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Episode 4
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13
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Really Boring Firework
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This looks like a dull firework, but many feel it to be a true piece of avant-garde art that expresses the depth of the human search for existence in ways heretofore unseen. ...But it's still dull.
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$270
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Episode 4
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14
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Fusty Golden Candle
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This candle's gold wax may impress all your rich friends, but we highly recommend against lighting it. The thing smells like rendered hog fat.
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$10073
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Episode 5
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15
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Comatose Cushion
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A soft cushion once used by an ancient emperor whose people held him in the highest of esteem. It's so soft, those who sleep on it never wake up. Ever.
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$3719
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Episode 1
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16
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Panda Panzer
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This mighty tank was built with a cute panda on top of it, making it impossible for enemies to attack. Except for squirrels, who are, of course, the natural enemy of the panda.
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$6000
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Episode 3
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17
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Handy Scrub Brush
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A fantastic scrub brush with an ergonomically designed handle. Perfect for cleaning sinks, toilets, and cooking surfaces. But not in that order.
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$809
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Episode 9
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18
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Galactic Fishcake
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A swirly fishcake filled with trippy cosmic space energy. All who taste it are doomed to grow fins and gills, then flop around the living room floor saying "glub glub" all day.
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$71940
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Special Episode 2
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19
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Game & Watch 9000
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An amazing handheld game unit with FIFTY screens! When unfolded, it takes up as much space as a timeshare condo.
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$38021
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Episode 8
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20
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Cheap Tire Ring
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A ring with a little tire on top. Girls hate these things, so don't use them as engagement rings. Trust us on this one...we have the scars to prove it.
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$5400
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Special Episode 3
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21
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Fishin' Hole Fishin' Pole
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This magic fishing pole will catch a fish every time you dip it in the water! But only crappie. Which actually taste better than they sound.
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$188
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Episode 10
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22
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Wooden Nostril Cleaners
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Ancient wooden nose pickers. Guaranteed not to splinter while inside the nostrils, or your money back. Also usable as a nose-piercing device.
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$640
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Episode 10
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23
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Booby-Trapped Magnet Car
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This car uses electromagnets to hover above the ground. Unfortunately, if it ever drops below 50 miles per hour, the car EXPLODES!
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$280
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Episode 6
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24
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Amazing Massage Chair
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The most comfortable massage chair in the world. Created by a yoga master who gained the ability to travel through time, this chair has the power to liquefy your muscles in seconds.
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$100
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Episode 7
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25
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Clever Sidekick
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A hilarious sidekick. Everybody needs one of these babies. He promises to guffaw loudly at every joke you make, no matter how lame it might be.
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$37
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Episode 8
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26
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Telemarketer's Bane
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This phone autodials telemarketers to ask if their refrigerators are running, then laughs maniacally and hangs up. Hilarious!
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$60
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Episode 5
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27
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Hilarity Machine
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The AutoPun 4000 straps to the mouth and forces the user to create bad pun after bad pun without mercy. Great for lazy comedians.
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$809
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Episode 7
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28
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Fool's Candy
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If you give this candy to a stranger, they will believe whatever you say. Keep away from used car salesmen and those weird dudes who strap signs to themselves and dance around.
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$7901
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Episode 8
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29
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Small Handheld Toilet
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A miracle of modern science, this portable toilet fits right in the palm of your hand! ...But we don't actually recommend keeping it there.
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$380
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Episode 9
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30
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Classy Bubble Pipe
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A fancy bubble pipe made of brown sugar, elven tears, and rainbows. How do they get so many rainbows in there? No one knows...
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$54
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Episode 3
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31
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Train Window Painting
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When hung on a wall, the landscape in this painting races by, giving the impression that you are on a train. It even makes that neat "clacka clacka" sound.
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$7901
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Episode 7
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32
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Fully Automated Pinwheel
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This pinwheel moves even without wind. Pinwheel purists say this is unnatural and evil, and must be stopped at all costs. ...Stupid purists.
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$380
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Episode 7
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