Sag niemals Holerö!
The title of this article is official, but it comes from a non-English source. If an official name from an English source is found that is not from the English Super Mario Bros. Encyclopedia, the article should be moved to its appropriate title.
Sag niemals Holerö! (referred to as Sag niemals Holerö in the second part; English translation: Never Say Holerö!) is the name of a 12-page comic in two parts, published in the 1/1998 and 2/1998 issues of the German Club Nintendo magazine. It centers around the term "holerö", an interjection that has been used several times in Club Nintendo comics in the past.
Part One (1/1998)
Mario is spending his holidays skiing in Switzerland. Some other skiers suddenly notice that someone is singing "holerö." For some reason, all the humans on the ski-run immediately turn into cheese and continue skiing. Mario finds that all other Swiss people have turned into cheese as well. Assuming that he has eaten too much of this food, he decides to leave the country quickly. However, at the airport, he finds that the crew of his American airline has turned into hot dogs. Worried about the fact that hot dogs are going to bring him back to New York, he decides to go to Austria by train instead. The train is full of cheese people, but there is also TicToc, an animated clock claiming to be from Zurich and to be the only Swiss man not turned into food. Mario is enthusiastic about having someone to talk to, and TicToc explains that he was just having his batteries changed, when all the others were turned into cheese.
Arriving in Austria, Mario and TicToc find that the natives have turned into food as well: they are all Mozartkugeln, a type of candy typical to Austria. This sight makes TicToc's mouth water, but Mario reminds him that eating the candies would be cannibalism. Suddenly Bomberman, claiming to be "Bombi" from Vienna and to be the only Austrian not turned into a Mozartkugel, jumps out of the bulk of food people and joins Mario and TicToc's group. The three of them go on to Germany by train, hoping that the natives would be in normal condition. However, the Germans have turned into cutlets with hair made of French fries.
Back in the train, having a drink there, Mario and his friends discuss how to find out about the cause of all the metamorphoses. They decide to go to sleep before thinking about it further. In the sleeper cabin, there is a Toad having a bath in a Koopa Shell. He introduces himself as Todojewski. He claims to have waited for Mario, TicToc and Bomberman, and explains what has happened to all the people turned into food: An extraterrestrial power is planning to invade Earth, and one of the aliens, disguised as a crooner and calling himself Heini, has come to the planet to spread his song "Holerö." Whoever listens to this song will turn into a type of food typical of their country. According to Todojewski, this did not happen to Mario and his friends, because they were the chosen ones to stop this monster invading the planet. Finally, Todojewski says that the friends would learn everything else they have to know at the Taj Mahal, and then vanishes into thin air.
Mario thinks that they would have to travel to India to get to the mausoleum Taj Mahal, but only by accident discovers the lettering "Taj Mahal" when looking outside of the window. It turns out to be an Indian restaurant in Frankfurt, Germany. Mario, TicToc and Bomberman step off the train and enter the restaurant. Inside, they find a maze of cabinets they have to get through. At some point of the maze, they come across a man smoking a water pipe. He introduces himself as Mahgo the omniscient, and explains secret powers that each of the three friends have. According to Mahgo, TicToc is able to stop time for a short amount of time. Bomberman can throw bombs. Mario, lastly, has the power to turn toilet brushes into zippers. The three of them say good-bye to Mahgo and leave the restaurant, looking for a way to find Heini. Soon, they come across a bill revealing that Heini is "on tour" and get ready to save the Earth.
Part Two (2/1998)
In their search for Heini in Frankfurt, the heroes run across three young women who are still in their human forms. They introduce themselves as Nicole, Pia, and Balu, and happy to have found other "normal" people, the six of them have dinner together. Mario is just about to try his cutlet, when it suddenly starts crying for its mother. She, also in cutlet form, arrives and shouts at Mario, indignant over the fact that Mario was trying to eat her child. After this, Balu goes to a jukebox in the restaurant in order to turn it on. Pia recommends to play their "favorite song", but in this moment, Bomberman throws a bomb towards the girls, having seen through their true intentions: to play the song "Holerö" and thusly turn Mario, TicToc and Bomberman into cutlets. Obviously the girls were Heini's subworkers.
The three friends head for Frankfurt's Alte Oper, a concert hall Heini is going to perform at this night. Dozens of food people already stand in line to get in. At the back entrance, Mario and his friends find many UFOs. Bomberman spots a bill that reads, "The chef recommends: cutlets with French fries". Mario suspects Heini to have invited his extraterrestrial friends to a dinner on Earth and to plan eating the whole population. In this moment, Todojewski appears, flying in his Shell. He has brought something that, according to him, will help the friends on their mission. It turns out to be nothing more than a set of oversized black suits and sunglasses. Despite Todojewski admitting that they do nothing but making the heroes look "cooler", they decide to continue wearing them.
Stealing into the back entrance, they find several aliens cooking in the kitchen. The aliens do not hesitate to arrest the friends inside of a toilet stall. Trying to find a way out, it suddenly comes to Mario's mind that he has the power to turn toilet brushes into zips. He throws a brush at the wall, and indeed it turns into a zip. They open it and get out of the stall. Hiding behind the corner of a wall, they eavesdrop on Heini and one of the extraterrestrial cooks, Sickobratz, who tells his master that everything is prepared and the people are waiting for his performance. Heini turns into his real form, a giant purple winged alien called KKDU, and announces to his friends that the dinner is served. TicToc jumps into action, starting to use his power of stopping time. Mario starts to evacuate the food people, while Bomberman throws bombs at the aliens. After all the people are saved, the three heroes run out of the Alte Oper, which soon after explodes because of Bomberman's bombs. Mario and his friends saved the Earth, but one of the UFOs manages to escape. Shortly after, all the food people turn back into their human forms. At the end of the comic, it turns out that it was Heini's spaceship that escaped, and the alien claims to return someday.
- When Mario is skiing at the beginning of the comic, he is wearing earmuffs that resemble rabbit ears, thus looking like Bunny Mario.
- The background of Mario trying to eat the cutlet, that turns out to be a human in disguise, is a pun. In German, the word "Kinderschnitzel" (literally "child-cutlet") usually means "a cutlet for children", but it could also mean "a cutlet made of children". Mario was expecting to eat a cutlet for children, but it turned out to be a child in form of a cutlet.
- Mario, TicToc and Bomberman wearing Todojewski's suits and sunglasses is a spoof of the film Men in Black.