The 'Shroom:Issue LXXX/Fake News
Hello, and welcome once again to the Fake News! It's November, in case you haven't noticed - in fact, we're already over halfway through November. How scary. Time flies when you're reading Fake News. Or not, if that works better. We here at the Fake News take self-deprecation in our stride. Well, I do. Not sure about the other guys.
Speaking of the other guys,
Staff changes: I now have a staff. I hit people with it when they're late.
(of course this means I have to hit myself a lot)
Hello, citizens of the MarioWiki and inhuman Fawful fanboys alike! After last month's incredibly successful section starring my good buddy Waluigi, I've decided to mess with all of you and go somewhere myself. What is this place, you ask? The Glitz Pit!
Only the toughest of the fighters and the highest-pitched of scream-happy girls find a home here. It's a wrestling arena that regularly hosts tournaments full of EXCITEMENT. The lodging prices are nonexistant - if you're staying here, insomnia is a huge plus. The entire place is on a floating island in the clouds. The only buildings on it are a juice bar, ripoff shop, and the pit itself.
Matches are daily, but other than the matches there's not much to do here, so I lack any other padding to do. What, did you think I would magically make up hotels and other locations to stretch the section? What are you, crazy? Oh yes, I would like a lampshade, thank you TVTropes.
Fortunately, I was able to go behind the scenes by bribing the security guards with Hostess cupcakes...er, no, with a special pass I purchased absolutely legally in the back streets of Rogueport. I got to visit the champion, Rawk Hawk, himself and watch him beat the bonkers out of me for invading his personal space. I was knocked out to the major league locker room where I was able to have a short but interesting conversation with Spiky Joe, one of the members of the Tiny Spinies.
As you can see, the Major Leaguers are not too bright. Now that I think about it, the lights were pretty dim in that room...I wonder if it had something to do with Spiky Joe's stupidity?
Ah, no, I'm trailing off. All in all, the Glitz Pit gets boring very easily - er, no, it's an exciting place full of amazing activities and cunning fighters. What? I'm not getting paid by anyone to write this.
After a very tough first appearance on the television, my shows have managed to stay on to the big screens thanks to
The first product
Paranoid about a friend peeping through your stuff? Want to sneak into a place you shouldn't be in? Want to put someone who isn't exactly one of your best buds through the terrifying feeing of identity crisis? Well, sneak no further, the Sneaky Parasol is here to be ordered for those very purposes! And as we always make sure
The effects of it can be undone by once again intensifying the grip on the handle for a short period of time to tell it to warm up the undo button, then lighten up on your iron grip when the parasol starts
Disclaimer: Due to our strict instructions, we are in no way responsible for any customers who unintentionally spend days as combs due to misdirected duplications.
Hello peoples, I'm writing from the dining car on the Excess Express, where I'm suffering from an excess of powerful emotions likely caused by
Have you ever felt too timid to make a new page because you're scared of it being a new stub and getting scolded? Nervous about making a mainspace edit because you don't know where to start? Unable to present a good argument because you're not firm enough and get steam-rolled like a flimsy tree every time? Worried about undoing someone's possibly disadvantageous edit because you get the feeling they'd rip your head off if you did? My Luigi-esque friend
While this hardened delicacy looks like it's mostly shell, recent studies have revealed there actually tends to be a sadistic yet live Koopa Troopa inside. These tend to be fearful beyond belief and refuse to explore the outside world, confining itself within its own shell, staying unknown to the world its whole life and not even bothering to flee its shell when about to be eaten. Anyhow, with the arduous scientific behind this recipe elaborated on, time to actually talk about the recipe as a recipe, otherwise known as Reciption but often confused with Reception.
It is believed managing to eat a Courage Meal will significantly boost your
Ironically due to this, you need to be incredibly courageous to have the guts to eat this, defeating the purpose of it increasing your courage levels as you need incredibly high courage levels to eat it in the first place, at which point there's not much point eating it as your courage levels are so high. I personally had to get my stomach pumped to escape the wrath of this murderous recipe (in some assassin chef circles known as a murderecipe), and as a result, I give this a 1/10 for nearly killing me.
You're looking at the standard they set themselves. It's the one standard that sets the texture... the taste... and the satisfaction you'd get through Standard Chocolate. It's only chocolate, but they believe you deserve a flawless experience every time. Standard Chocolate... the Chocolate Standard.
It looks like a really interesting mask design, but it's clear that it just doesn't last long on a Yoshi's face or anyone's for that matter. Leave it unattended and it'll have been digested faster than you can say hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia backwards. A great actor once used this as a mask during a play, ended up eating it by accident and suddenly lost every drama technique he had mastered in an instance, ruining the play as a result
Our lab rats
At first, Standard Chocolate tastes good. Then it tastes better, then suddenly the after-taste becomes horrendous and you regret swallowing it. And then the stuff that stops the things happens. Due to the time it takes for these severe effects to occur and chocolate is often used as a gift, it has been predicted this will become a popular
And that brings an end to my reviewing of these. I would've told you about the Choco Pasta Dish, but someone had to eat that the night before, and thus I didn't get to elaborate on it. If you have any complaints, redirect them to the guy who pounced my pasta, and PLEASE keep those shaved ice jokes about me to yourself. They're just not funny.
Raphael the RavenHello, and welcome to the Obituaries, this month we will be looking into the death of
The bird was unfortunately crushed under a Tetris block as it played
It was also known that Raphael worked under Bowser when he was a baby, however, when we tried to find him we were pointed to the sky, where we saw a raven poop on us, as well as a constellation that heavily resembled Raphael. We were told that the constellation in the sky was actually Raphael, and after lifting the Tetris block up, we found that there was nothing there.
In the aftermath of this death it was revealed that Raphael had died ages ago and was really a constellation. The Village Leader also found one morning that on the island the Ravens were gone, and they were seen on the island nevermore.
Ask Paper Yoshi
Hello, everyone, and welcome to the November Issue of Ask Paper Yoshi!! After fleeing to Uruguay, being deported to France for no reason, waking up inside a plane bound to Recife, Brazil, and coming all the way back to São Paulo on a donkey, I'm back!! This month, I'll be answering twelve questions from three different users: Gonzales Kart Inc. (talk) (Forum profile), Icemario11 (talk) (Forum profile) and Koopartol Brick Block (talk) (Forum profile).
Gonzales Kart's questions came in a few days before the last issue was released, so they could not be answered then. He asks:
After submitting six questions for the last issue, Icemario11 sent me seven more questions. He asks:
And, lastly, Koopartol Brick Block asks:
And that's it for now! As always, remember to send Paper Yoshi your questions, and look for the answers on the next issue of Ask Paper Yoshi!!
We'll find Paper Yoshi, don't worry.