Director's Notes
Everyone welcome to the hottest month ever currently! As we're all sweating to death just sit here and read some reviews because honestly what else are you doing? The air outside is toxic and you will die, and Critic Corner is just so comfy and chill. You gotta. Gotta!!
Congratulations to Waluigi Time (talk) and Paper Mario Boss Ranking for being voted as June's Critic Corner Section of the Month!! Be sure to give your love to all of our sections here, and give a shout out to our writers whether in chat or in their forum threads dedicated to their sections. Be sure to vote vote vote!
And now for my regular announcements: We've decided to implement in Critic Corner something similar to News Flush over in Fake News, where no formal sign-up application process is required for one-time or limited sections. From now on if you just want to send in a single review for something you just read, watched played, tried, whatever, you just have to send me your review privately either to me directly in chat, or in a message to me on the forum at least one week before each 'Shroom is to be released! There's no commitment or obligation to provide a full monthly section (although you absolutely can shift it into one if you so choose), just send us your thoughts on a thing and we'll feature it here! If you have any questions or curiosities about this, please feel free to ask!
As always, if you would like to help Critic Corner, we always have openings for more writers! You are free to write for sections such as Character Review and Movie Review, or really anything you'd like to do! There's no pressure to have a huge section; they can be shorter and concise! The application process is very simple, starting with reading the Sign Up page, and sending your application to Meta Knight on the forum. Any idea you have is welcome, and if you have any questions or need help signing up, please feel free to reach out to myself or other 'Shroom peeps!
Section of the Month
| CRITIC CORNER SECTION OF THE MONTH | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Place | Section | Votes | % | Writer |
| 1st | Paper Mario Boss Ranking | 14 | 50.00% | Waluigi Time (talk) |
| 2nd | Anton's Half-Baked Reviews | 8 | 28.57% | Hypnotoad (talk) |
| 3rd | Super Ninelevendo Entertainment Reviews | 3 | 10.71% | Ninelevendo (talk) |
Yoshi18 Reviews
Hi everyone! Welcome back to the third episode of Yoshi18 Reviews! I quickly want to apologize for there being no episode in the last issue. School got in the way. I had test week so I really had no time to write an article for that. It's also so sad that I couldn’t participate in last month's Villain 'Shroom Event cause of it. I was really hyped for it. But oh well, school goes above anything. I'll try to compensate for it by reviewing Donkey Kong Bananza, Super Mario Party Jamboree + Jamboree TV and Kirby and the Forgotten Land + Star-Crossed Worlds. I gotta note that it'll be tight for Star-Crossed Worlds though because the game comes out only 2 days before the upcoming issue. Now with that out of that way. Let's get to the reviews! In today's edition I'll review both the Nintendo Switch 2 and Mario Kart World (though I'll go a little deeper into World). Now without further ado, let's start reviewing!
First Switch 2 Review
The Switch 2 Itself
I'll do a short review of the Switch 2 review this month and go more in-depth next month. This month I'll be talking about the improvements compared to the OG Switch. So first of all, the most obvious difference, it’s bigger (both the screen and Joy-Cons). A full 1,7 inch and because I'm European; it’s 4,318cm. The Joy-Cons now snap onto the console instead of needing to slide it onto the console. This is a practical change, since if you hold one of the Joy-Cons of your Switch with one hand and you accidentally press the button to slide it off, then boom, there goes your Switch. It falls on the ground. With the Switch 2 it takes some more force to press on the button and cause it to fall. The button is also much thicker so unless you’re really not paying attention and press it too hard, which would cause it to fall and really be your own fault, then it's not gonna fall. Now for the changes inside the console. Most games now load much faster or got Switch 2 exclusive updates that made them load much faster. Of course we also have the resolution, which can go up to 4K (2160p) 120fps (note that 4K is only exclusive to TV mode. Handheld mode goes up to 2K (1080p) 120fps). The Switch 2 also has a LCD screen and has a HDR function (which gives off amazing realistic lightning, mainly during sunrises and sunsets). I'm sorry to cut it all off like this but that's all I have for this month. I'll try to go more in-depth about the next console next month, since I didn't have enough time with it yet, because of school (sadly the same reason why I couldn't deliver a review last month).
Mario Kart World
This game is the best Mario Kart game since Wii for sure (and much better than Mario Kart 8 Deluxe), so this game gets a sold 9/10 for me. Let's go through everything one-by-one!
Grand Prix
At first glance, it's just your good old Grand Prix mode from the previous 8 games (excluding Mario Kart 8 Deluxe, Mario Kart Tour and the Arcade games, of which the latter two technically didn't have a Grand Prix). But this time it has a special twist; you only drive 3 laps around the first course and for the next 3 courses you do an intermission to the next course and then drive 1 lap around that course. I know most people don't like this formula (mainly because it's forced when you play online), I actually like this formula. While yes, the straightaways are boring sometimes, I feel like there’s still enough to do on them. Like getting a snack at Yoshi's, jumping on cars or rail grinding power cables!
Knockout Tour
This is intermission tracks at their finest, though it works better for this mode than it does for Grand Prix. This sometimes makes me think this game was developed for Knockout first and Grand Prix second. This mode is overall an intermission Grand Prix and it's pretty good. The only thing I dislike is how easily you can overpowered in the lower places (bagging) except for the last 2 intermissions.
Time Trials
Well, what should I? It's basically the same. I never really play Time Trials (and never have played it in this game but probably will). But yeah, it's your good old Time Trials, except that you now have even more hidden shortcuts (which YouTubers often exaggeratedly call "Ultra Shortcuts", though they only save a couple hundred milliseconds). Though none of these shortcuts will ever compare to how time-saving Mario Kart Wii's ultra shortcuts were.
VS Race
Except Nintendo not forcing you to play intermission tracks, I think this mode is actually a big downgrade. You can only choose Normal or Frantic items while 8 Deluxe had many other options like Custom Items, No Items or Shells Only (which means that you can only get (Triple) Green/Red Shell(s) or a Blue Shell). They could've at least let the No Items option return in this game. Well, I'm hoping for them to add them in a future content update.
Battle
It seems like they wanted to kinda return to Mario Kart 8's Battle Mode, since most "battle courses" are just the race courses. I do like how the actual retro battle courses are in the world and you're able to visit them in Free Roam. Even though this, this mode is once again a downgrade from 8 Deluxe's Battle Mode, with once again only the option for Normal or Frantic items, and missing modes like Renegade Roundup.
Free Roam
My favorite part of the game! I absolutely love it! Remember that in Mario Kart Wii we would do an out-of-bounds glitch in Coconut Mall and Maple Treeway, so we could explore outside of the course, where the player is never meant to be. But the fun would always end once (even when using mods), since the developers would stop modelling the course outside of the player's view and sometimes they even stopped modelling inside the player's view. And even if they wouldn't stop modelling the game outside of the player's view, they would stop giving the anything collision (including the ground, so you can like automatically fall into the void, where the developers for some reason did place an out-of-bounds, Mike they somehow knew a player would end up coming there). But now, you can finally go out-of-bounds in a connected open-world, where it's actually intended for the player to be outside of the course. I haven't done everything in Free Roam, but I've had much fun exploring courses, doing/finding P Switch missions, Peach Medallions and ? Panels. I just can't tell enough how much I like (and appreciate Nintendo for adding) Free Roam. Definitely the best mode ever added to Mario Kart!
Outro
Well, that's it for this episode! I hope you guys enjoyed it and I hope I'll be able to keep making these reviews for many more issues to come! As always, stay safe and see you all in the next issue!
Elemental Enemies
Written by: Boo1268
Hello there, readers of The 'Shroom. It is I, Boo1268 the Fancy Phantom, back here again with another edition of Elemental Enemies. This is the series where I look into the variety of big bads featured in Skylanders: Trap Team and see how these respective villains fit their types, and BOY is it hot outside, especially with all these fireworks going off in celebration of the Fourth of July (that is if you celebrate that kind of thing), so I figure now would be the best time to cover the fire villains due to things heating up a bit around here.
(If you want to get to the explanations then please skip ahead, but to those who are new, let me give some context):
In Skylanders: Trap Team, the main gimmick was that using a special crystal insert and the respective crystal element, you could capture some of the villains of the game and play as them for a short period of time, and in the game, certain villains could only be captured with a trap of their element. So, being inspired by Lockston & Gnoggin’s Pokemon Type Explained videos, I am to answer the question of how some of the villains fit into their respective element.
Now how this works is that we will be looking into what makes each villain their respective type. Things such as design, abilities, villain quests, lore, personality, etc. Each villain won’t go in any sort of order, but it tends to be that villains that most suit their type and have the most detailed explanation are at the top, and the villains that are the least connected, or more rather should NOT be connected (if specifically stated), go at the bottom. But now, with that out of the way, join me as I try my best to explain my reasonings.
Thankfully this category is a bit shorter than the last one but still very fun! So for the third group we have:
Chef Pepperjack: He's a spicy pepper chef who uses cooking equipment and also likes BBQs, so yeah he's kinda the perfect representation of this element in the first place, and while he could be a life element due to him being a plant since red peppers are spicy, it just would feel weird.
Grinnade:
His main goal is to blow up. This robotic grenade is on the same level as a Bob-omb filled to the brim with EXPLOSIVE POWER.
Smoke Scream: A troll that operates a flamethrower mech? Yep seems right to me, and while he may use a mech, the fact that it only uses a flamethrower and flame attacks makes it qualify.
Scrap Shooter: The only thing that correlates Scrap Shooter as being a fire villain is that he can shoot explosive barrels at his foes, but other than that he's got nothing. In fact, most of the time he relates more to the tech element more than the fire element since he's a wooden robot and his villain quest involves him fixing a table, i.e. mechanical work, and some of you make the case that since he fires explosives that means that Grinnade should be tech also, but to that I say no; Grinnade is a living BOMB who is only made to explode in a fiery inferno. Scrap Shooter just fires explosive projectiles similar to Threatpack. For example, if a guy looks like a zombie but yet he throws rocks, that guy isn't an earth villain just because he throws said rocks. Also Scrap Shooter's name just SOUNDS like a tech villain name, am I right?
Well that's another set done, and since we're talking about earth and rocks, how about the earth villains next? But before that thank you for all the support on the last issue. I'm really glad you enjoy this series and if you have any opinions on these villains don't hesitate to talk about it on the official/original thread, so until then, see you next time portal masters, and as always: Merci, au revoir!
Shoey's Shoetacular Reviews
| Raw | |
|---|---|
| |
| Genres | Wrestling |
| Platform | Xbox |
| Release date | February 12, 2002 |
| Rating | T |
Picture this. It's 2002 and, well, to be quite frank, wrestling is struggling. The year 2001 saw four major things happen:
1. WCW, the second largest promotion in wrestling, has gone under. This was due to many factors, ranging from the inability to make a show anybody would want to watch, to the fact that their business model seemed to be just setting as much money on fire as possible, and of course the fact the disastrous AOL-Time Warner merger which stripped Ted Turner of any power at the new company. And without Ted Turner, who was always loyal to wrestling because Georgia Championship Wrestling/ Jim Crockett Promotions/ WCW Saturday Night one of the only early hits on Ted Turner's WTBS Superstation, WCW was without allies at Turner because all the other executives considered it lowbrow trash. So, all shows on Turner network were cancelled and without TV, WCW and its tape library were bought out by the WWF for a song - or more specifically, 4.3 million dollars.
2. Stone Cold Steve Austin, the most popular man in wrestling and a beer-drinking common man who represented every American who just wanted to kick their piece of shit's boss' ass, turned heel at Wrestlemania X-Seven, joining forces with his hated enemy WWF CEO Vince McMahon by accepting his assistance in defeating The Rock for the WWF Championship. This decision turned millions of viewers away forever!
3. ECW the third-largest promotion in wrestling, has also gone under due to the fact that its business model was also "let's set as much money on fire as possible". This is probably the least important of these points because, while ECW was popular among hardcore fans, it was a distant third in the rankings.
4. Finally, the much-anticipated WCW invasion of the WWF following the WWF's buyout of WCW flopped! This was due to a number of factors, such as the fact that most of the top stars had contracts with Turner and refused to be bought out (one famous story was that Turner tried to buy Goldberg out of his contract for like 30 cents on the dollar and he politely but firmly told them to go fuck themselves). Then, the stars they did have (Booker T, Diamond Dallas Page, and Raven) were quickly shunted to the side, being replaced in the alliance between WCW and ECW by established WWF talent such as Stone Cold Steve Austin, who turned on WWF along with Kurt Angle. The WWF also made sure to squash top talent by doing things like making Diamond Dallas Page the stalker of the Undertaker's wife, which should have been cool and the original idea is great, because Diamond Dallas Page explains he's doing it because for the first time the Undertaker had shown a weakness! But no, they decided that, after that reveal, Diamond Dallas Page should in fact be beaten down at literally every chance by The Undertaker, never getting anything in their feud. Then, Booker T. the Five Time, Five Time, Five Time WCW Champion, who was one of the biggest bright spots of the last year of WCW along with Sid and the Big Bad Booty Daddy Scott Steiner (neither of whom joined the company at this point), was constantly made to look super weak, never winning any matches clean and always needing either Shane McMahon or Stone Cold Steve Austin to interfere so he could win matches. And then as for Raven, well, I think one quote sums it up best. When Vince McMahon learned Raven was hired, his exact words were "Who the fuck hired Johnny Polo?" (Johnny Polo being a manager gimmick Raven used in the WWF in the early 90s before he became Raven in ECW). All in all, the invasion, that most-hyped storyline in wrestling history, became a much-derided dud lasting only about six months before being buried.
So all in all, wrestling isn't doing great. But still, you're a wrestling fan! While the business wasn't doing as good as it was two or three years ago, millions of people like you still watch Raw and Smackdown every week. And hey, the Sixth Generation has started and you need a new fancy videogame system. Now, by this point, the Dreamcast is already dead because, much like WCW and ECW, Sega's business plan seemed to be setting as much money on fire as possible. The GameCube is out, but, well, you're a big man! You're not gonna play stupid baby games like Luigi's Mansion and Pikmin, so you're not getting the system with a handle on it! That just leaves the PlayStation 2 and the newcomer, the Xbox. Now the PlayStation 2 can play DVDs, so that's pretty cool. But Xbox has one trick up its sleeve - Halo, one of the biggest game-changing shooters there is. So you get the Xbox. And hey, look, there's a WWF game just called Raw, which makes sense, 'cause the Smackdown games are on the PlayStation 2. And you like Raw! I mean, why not? The Triple H four-year Reign of Terror doesn't start for months! You're still in the Undisputed Championship Era! You have no idea Raw is about to try and do everything in its power to run you off! So you happily buy Raw, put it in your Xbox, and get ready for some bone-crushing action! And then quickly you realize you've made a terrible mistake. And if wrestling games are an important part of your system choice, well, quite frankly, I'm sorry, because WWF Raw might be the Worst WWF/E wrestling game ever created!
It's kind of funny, because WWF Raw was published by THQ, who published a ton of good wrestling games and was the same studio who published Raw 2, which as you know is a game I have a lot of fondness for. So it might be surprising that I think it's the worst wrestling game I've ever played. But we'll get to the reasons why I think it's so bad later. Right now, let's talk about the few things I think it did right. For starters, it looks pretty good for an early Xbox game. All the characters look right; nobody really looks off model, so that's cool. The presentation is cool. They've got all the theme songs and entrance videos, so that's neat. There are some interesting options as to what you can do, such as assaulting your opponent on the way to the ring, and you can crowd brawl, which is always cool. All of these are nice minor touches that give the game some variety (and believe me, it's gonna need it!!!).
One cool thing is that some tag teams actually have their joint entrance and come out to their tag team names! Most notably in my opinion, this is the only time in the history of videogames that the hit stable X-Factor is referenced in a WWE game. You know X-Factor, right? That hit stable of X-Pac, Albert, and Justin Credible? You know, the team that went on to have all that success and definitely wasn't booed out of the building every time they appeared because they sucked! One thing that's pretty funny about X-Factor being in the game is that, not only did literally everybody hate X-Factor (and not in a good way), but X-Factor had broken up like eight months before this game came out! And they were only together for like five months and they did nothing together but lose!
I really like the roster; it's probably the strongest part of the game to me. It's got all the normal main eventers you had come to expect. Your Kane, Undertaker, Triple H, The Rock, and Stone Cold Steve Austin, blah blah blah, the guys who are in every wrestling game. But more importantly, it's full of weirdo characters! And if you know anything about me, I'm all about weirdo characters! You've got a couple characters that aren't in any other game, like Ron Killings' original gimmick K-Kwik and classic-WWF-job-guy-slash-one-third-of-the-hit-stable-X-Factor Justin Credible! This is in fact Credible's only WWE game appearance. Which makes sense. He sucked and so does this game! There are some other great weirdo characters too, like The Lethal Weapon Steve Blackman is here, and you should know I'm a sucker for Steve Blackman and his kung fu powers! Smackdown's Number One Announcer Funaki makes a very rare video game appearance, so that's always exciting.
Haku, the most dangerous man in wrestling, is here as well in what would be his only videogame appearance for like fifteen years, so that's pretty cool. Now, there are a couple of confusing members of the roster. Billy Gunn is here, which on its face is odd, but this seems to be some sort of weird pre-Billy and Chuck tag team era, 'cause he's wearing the Billy headband but his quasi-homosexual partner Chuck Palumbo isn't here for some reason. And Perry Saturn is here, but I believe this is before that time he beat the piss out of a job guy for real and got saddled with a gimmick where he had a mop girlfriend named Moppy. And quite frankly I just don't recognize any non-Moppy-related Perry Saturn foolishness!
Alright guys, the positive portion of the review is over! Let's get into some negatives! For starters, there's no story mode, and not even a season mode, either! This is ridiculous! We are way too far into the wrestling game timespan for there to be no career mode of any kind. Games on the Nintendo 64 and the PlayStation 1 were having season modes where you'd play through a year of WWF action. Don't get me wrong, they were usually pretty basic and they all ended with you winning the world championship, but at least they had dialogue, different scenes, and match variety. The closest thing this game has to a career mode is a mode called Title Match. It's sort of a Mortal Kombat-style arcade mode where you pick a championship to contend for and then you play five matches, and if you win those matches, you get that championship. There are also characters you can unlock through this, but they're not very impressive, being The McMahon family (Vince, Shane, Stephanie) and Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst, who was an unlockable character in return for Rollin being used as the Undertaker's theme song. This mode sucks! It's just playing five random matches and that's it! And there's only like six championships in the game, so there are only six potential lines to do. I'm also pretty sure it's just randomly generated matches with little variety outside of the Hardcore Championship, where you do Hardcore matches! It's pitiful that an Xbox game would have no story mode when Smackdown! Just Bring It, which released three months earlier, had a full story mode with different paths and championships you can win. But maybe you think that's not fair considering Smackdown! Just Bring It wasn't developer Yuke's first WWE game. So let's look at Yuke's first WWE game, simply titled Smackdown!, on the PlayStation 1. This one had a multi-part story mode featuring cutscenes and different actions that the player can perform! So again, it's pretty pathetic that an Xbox game is getting outdone by a PlayStation 1 game.
So here's the thing! Outside of Title Match, there isn't shit else to do in this game. The only other game modes are Exhibition and King of The Ring. King of the Ring is just a tournament mode where you play a multi-round tournament, with the winner being declared King of the Ring, which is a meaningless title. Then there's Exhibition mode, and quite frankly this might be the most pathetic exhibition mode I've ever seen. You can do either a 1 v 1 match, a tag team match, a six-man battle royale, and a couple different handicap matches, and the only thing you can do to spruce up those matches is turn them into either no-DQ matches or regular matches. That's it! There are no special match types! No cage, to tables matches, no I Quit matches, no Hell In a Cell matches, no ladder (in fact, while the ladder is a weapon, you can't even climb them!) match, not even a Last Man Standing match. It's ridiculous how there are none of the signature wrestling matches in this game. You couldn't even do a cage? Again, we're not even going to compare it to its contemporaries. Let's look at WWF No Mercy for the Nintendo 64, which has Cage, ladder, and Iron Man while also letting you toggle the settings to create Last Man Standing and Submission matches. So again, this isn't even comparing it to its contemporaries. This is looking at N64 games! And look how much more content is here! It's ridiculous that this got approved with just nothing! It's as barebones as barebones can be!
But now let's get to the worst part of the game - actually playing it. Because this might have the worst wrestling system I've ever played. So right off the bat, there's no damage system indicators. There are no body parts changing colors as you attack them. There are no personal HP/momentum bars, and there's not even that weird multi-color danger system like in Raw 2. There's literally no indication for how much damage you've done to your opponent. But you know what there is? The worst finisher system that's ever been crafted.
So the finisher system in Raw is a momentum-based system. Makes sense; most games are. But here's the thing! It's not a personal momentum-based system like in, you know, every other game. It's a fucking shared momentum-based system! That's what that big bar is for. So when you land attacks, you get closer to being able to do your finisher, and when your opponent lands attacks, they kill your momentum and get closer to theirs. But the way it works makes no sense. So, first off, why would we share? Wouldn't it make a lot more sense to each have our own? You know, like literally every other game? Next up, you can't do a momentum-based system in a game with 0 damage indication. It doesn't work; you're just doing things blindly. Thirdly, the momentum swings wildly. You'll wail on your opponent for like three minutes and then they'll land three attacks and you're back to a 50/50 split. Further enraging me is that, not only does you failing to pin them result in you getting stunned, but it also gives them back a huge chunk of momentum, which wouldn't be so bad if not for the fact that, again, there are no damage indicators, so you have no idea when you should be going for pinfalls. It all comes back to one problem; you're just doing things blindly.
To make matters worse, they completely botched the AI, because it's extremely difficult to actually grapple in this game. You're constantly getting reversed when you try to grapple. Even when you directly stun them and get them in the groggy animation, they can still reverse you! What's the point of the groggy system then??? It's not even my opinion that the reverse system is messed up. I read a number of user reviews and a number of them mentioned it. To make matters even worse, you have to use a large variety of moves, because if you use the same move too many times, you actually give momentum back to your opponent. That's right, the game punishes you for using moves that actually work! And again, that would be fine if they hadn't botched the AI so bad or if they would have given you any indicators for how much damage you've done. The problem, is if you're constantly being reversed every time you grapple, you're just going to try and land strikes, netting you the penalty for using the same moves.
The system is so messed up that any progress you register can be wiped away in an instant. You'll go from having 80% of the bar to a 50-50 split despite the fact that you've spent the entire match on top. It makes the matches take forever. Every match I played took upwards of eight minutes, all of it seemingly meaningless actions that would waste my time before I lost.
There was the one match I was winning by a lot that I gave up on because it had been six minutes of me hitting them with a TV without being able to win. It's a terrible system that makes every match drag on and there's nothing rewarding about it, because it feels like any move that's not your finisher is worthless, but getting your finisher is so tedious it's not worth doing at all!
This is terrible wrestling game! Do you know how upset I would be in 2002 if I was stuck with this while my friends were out there playing the awesome Smackdown series on the PlayStation and the PlayStation 2? Like, this game has almost no positives about it. There's almost no content, the content it does have stinks on ice, and the actual gameplay might be the worst wrestling gameplay I've ever played! I hear the create-a-wrestler mode is cool… but considering how little there is to do in this game, who cares? I'm honestly surprised after this that THQ let Anchors make Raw 2 considering how bad this game is.
So I guess the takeaway of all of this? Don't let the version of yourself you're picturing in 2002 buy this game! It's not worth it!
Graphic Novel Review
| Sunny Figures It Out | |
|---|---|
| |
| Author | Jennifer L. Holm and Matthew Holm |
| Release date | 2025 |
| Genre | fiction, slice of life |
| Pages | 224 |
| Available From | |
Hello, readers, and welcome back to Graphic Novel Reviews! This month, we will be returning to this column’s longest-running series so far, the Sunny series!
Book 6 of the series is Sunny Figures It Out! I had been wondering what to review for this month’s section when I discovered this book was dropping on the first of the month, and the decision was made for me. At this point, I have a very soft spot in my heart for this series, so I always look forward to seeing what the Holm siblings are going to come up with next. When we last checked in with Sunny, she was participating in her school's debate team and learning how to make good arguments. Let’s see what she’s up to this time, shall we?
Sunny Figures It Out focuses on the bane of many middle schoolers’ existence: crushes and dating! After working at the snack shack at the community pool all summer, Sunny and Tony have become good friends- going to each others’ houses, getting milkshakes at the local diner, and going out ice-skating together. But does that mean they’re dating? Sunny doesn’t think so, but her friend Deb is convinced that they are now girlfriend/boyfriend, and Tony should be carrying Sunny’s books and giving her his jacket to wear when it’s cold out, even though she already has a jacket. When Deb starts to crush on Greg, a guy in their math class, they convince Sunny and Tony to go on double dates with them. But things are always awkward between Sunny and Tony. Are they dating? Are they not? Sunny needs to follow her heart and figure things out for herself.
I want to start with the framing device that this book sits in- Sunny’s collection of romance novels. Every few chapters or so will open with a romance novel scenario- a fancy man bringing 100 roses to a woman, a man flying his girlfriend to Rome in a private jet on a Tuesday afternoon, a man giving his lover treasures and jewels and everything that she could want, your average cheesy romance novel stuff. It’s a cute segue from scenario to scenario, and I love how Sunny uses it less to describe her relationship with Tony and more to look at Deb’s relationship with Greg, who is not to her tastes. I think everyone has an experience like that, too- your friend has a crush on someone and you go “That person? Really?” In the end, Sunny ends up donating her collection of romance novels to the thrift store, saying that they weren’t all that realistic after all. Clearly she hasn’t heard of reading to escape your daily life before, but she’s still young.
The side story this book uses to mirror Sunny’s troubles involves her mother going back to work. Sunny’s father did not get a bonus from his job that the family was counting on, and now they need money to pay for their air-conditioning system, so Sunny’s mom decides to go back to work now that her brother is in pre-school and doesn’t need to be watched during the day. She goes through the struggle of trying to squeeze her part-time job and caring for her family and being an involved parent at school, and ends up finally figuring out what she wants for herself in the meantime, being able to say no to baking 40 cupcakes for the bake sale tomorrow at school and being able to go out for a manager’s position at her part-time job. Her struggle felt very relatable, and even without being a parent, I can relate to not knowing what you want to do and feeling like a failure as other people seem to have everything figured out while it feels like you’re left behind.
Sunny Figures It Out is another great addition to the series, in that both kids and adults will be able to relate to the characters’ feelings and problems. You can relate to Sunny if you’re her age because all kids go through the highs and lows of middle school crushes, and anyone older than her will remember those days. Sunny’s mom figures out what she can handle and realizes it’s OK to say no to things that she doesn’t have the bandwidth to handle. You’re not a bad mom if you can’t support a last-minute bake sale in the middle of the week. For recommendations on this book, unfortunately I can’t recommend it to you if you haven’t been keeping up with the series so far, as the main plot with Sunny and Tony was set up back in book 4. But if you’ve traveled along with Sunny on her journey, you won’t be disappointed by this one. Although, you might want a cupcake or a milkshake with fries by the end.
That’s all for me this month, everyone. Check back in next time for a new Book Review!
Written by: Hypnotoad (talk)
Main Art by: Fun With Despair (talk), Original sketch by: Citri
Scale Art by: Toadbert101 (talk)
Ready-to-drink Tea
The more I browse stores for new products to try, the more obvious it’s becoming that one of the most rapidly expanding markets is functional drinks. All kinds of healthy options, soda alternatives, whatever you can do other than just drink enough water and exercise regularly, these companies are churning out all of the possible solutions to every woe in your life in a convenient ready-to-drink can. With summer already here in full blast and every day being an absolute scorcher, I won’t complain much about finding an excuse to stock my fridge up with all kinds of funky tea as I continue not actually taking care of myself in any meaningful way.
As I am drinking a lot of these teas, I feel some kind of rating is necessary to keep things relative, and thanks to Toadbert101 (talk) I can now show you how refreshed these made me feel:
Halfday
I’ve bought these before when they first entered the market with the intent to review, but just never got around to it, but once I saw that they have undergone an intensely disappointing “New Era” rebrand away from their initial fun rebrand that I can’t find many good detailed articles about I figured now’s the best time to do a review so I can express my sorrow.
Their new rebrand is “designed to stand out in the competitive beverage market while preserving its playful tone and ethos” by doing nothing at all to actually stand our and removing anything playful about it, with many top comments mourning the loss of the fun animal designs and lamenting the ‘blanding’ of yet another brand. Deep in the comments and replies the social media employee responded that the redesign and new generic illustrations are meant to feel more personal and represent memories you may have had with iced tea growing up. I don’t know about you. Their whole thing is “Classic Flavors: A modern take on nostalgic taste” and I’m just absolutely not seeing nostalgia in the new can designs at all. I suppose that it’s maybe a little that it’s the 60s/90s blend nostalgia style that the previous design had when it’s 70s/00s that’s currently what’s It right now being what led to the design change, but I want the addresses of everyone responsible for taking the animal mascots off. I need to know what parameters the test groups had, what their thoughts were, the demographics, priorities, I need to understand completely the decision behind this change as there just had to be one; a redesign is a massive and expensive undertaking that wouldn’t be done unless it’s projected to yield higher profits, and I’m just not the person to understand why they had to be neutered and sanitized for this to be achieved. It’s not even that I’m a furry that has me whining about this, but rather the complete loss of character that the cans had, a bit of fun, a genuine connection to nostalgic characters that actually did provide good childhood memories that no actual child endeared to iced tea.
Peach Tea
Definitely tastes like peach tea, but the sweetness and peach flavor feels a little more sharp than other standard peach teas I’ve had at restaurants or Arizona teas. The more I drink it, the harder it is for me to pinpoint why, until I check out the ingredients and see that this is green tea rather than sweetened black tea that I’ve always had. Aside from that, and their proprietary GOODDAY Prebiotic Blend (cassava root fiber, fructan fiber, organic agave inulin), this has rather standard ingredients: cane sugar, natural flavors, citric acid, malic acid, tartaric acid, lemon juice, a little flexing with French Grey sea salt to remind you that this is a performative luxury grocery product, and Vitamin C. Prebiotic benefits are highlighted, such as 6g of ‘gut-healthy’ plant fiber, plus 6g net carbs and 3g of sugar. The amount of cane sugar is mitigated slightly by stevia leaf extract, which does add a little herbal tinge of licorice, but otherwise I don’t taste any bit of prebiotic funkiness.
Overall, not bad, the only thing I’d want different is to use black tea instead, especially since the health benefits of black and green tea are effectively the same, and that comes down to personal taste preference.
Raspberry Iced Tea
Definitely raspberry, definitely tea, I appreciate the little bit of lemon juice in there to give it some tang, and the hibiscus extract is a genius move with bringing out the raspberry’s floral tartness. I do enjoy raspberry teas, but they can be very hit-or-miss for me as many of them can’t get the raspberry flavor just right without it being a bit caustic, and Halfday gets it right. Nice flavor, nice level of sweetness, “just refreshment with benefits” exactly like they say.
What’s noticeable here is that this original design can with the rollerblading flamingo on it lacks the GOODDAY Prebiotic Blend the new version has, but still boasts 8g of ‘gut-healthy’ plant fiber and 3g of sugar, so where does it come from? The full list of ingredients on my can include: organic black tea, organic agave inulin, apple nectar, raspberry extract, lemon juice extract, tart raspberry blend (citric, ascorbic, malic, tartaric acids), French Grey sea salt, hibiscus extract, and stevia leaf extract. The fiber is likely entirely from the organic agave inulin, which is also part of the GOODDAY Prebiotic Blend, which has me further wondering why they transitioned to using a blend instead–better balance of nutrients and needs? Relative cost of materials and processing? Ability to trademark and protect/sell it? Press releases say that it’s to directly address customer voices in reducing the total fiber, and adding in the cane sugar to provide a more authentic taste. It’s kinda neat, but also madly concerning, seeing these up-and-coming brands so quickly shift their ingredients to better position themselves in the market, adjusting themselves as the tides wax and wane.
Sweet Tea
Like the Raspberry, this also lacks the GOODDAY Prebiotic Blend, but has organic agave inulin to make up for it as well as mushroom extract for what I can only guess is some nondescript immune support or one of any other ten thousand things any number of wide-ranging mushrooms are said to do. Additionally, like the Raspberry flavor, the ingredients were changed in the update, resulting in the removal of the mushroom extract.
It tastes like a bare and exposed sweet tea, containing cane sugar already which leaves unknown to me if this was part of the original intended ingredients or if I bought this during a soft rework before the redesign went into play. I can’t say that the flavor of sweetened iced tea reminds me of anything more than the non-soda free refill option at every full-service restaurant I’ve gone to for the last 20 years, but I can say that the cute sunglasses-wearing armadillo sitting on a boombox brings out classic 90s nostalgia. These iced teas are all rather good and satisfying, and do their job at hiding healthy benefits within a product that tastes like the genuine teas they are, but I don’t think I will ever buy anymore unless they revert the design back. Design choices have calculated consequences, and whether the loss of me as a return customer was expected and absorbed does not lighten the heart of dulling the fun personality it had.
Lemon Tea
After reading so much about how the new version tastes different, with press releases saying they explicitly changed the recipe to make it taste better, I knew I had to get both versions to compare while I still had the chance with the rebrand still in transition. I specifically went for the Lemon Tea flavor because the old one has my favorite animal mascot in the best kind of outfit on it–a cool gator wearing swim trunks and goggles in an innertube–and was also the only older version I don’t currently have in my possession. I had to have it. It's embarrassing how many Whole Foods and Sprouts stores I went to to find this, and eventually had to triangulate a store that would be hip enough to carry it, but not popular enough to move product quickly and therefore be susceptible to shelves having expired product. A small and old Chamberlin’s in the suburbs was the one, having exactly one can with the cute alligator still left in their fridge.
The difference between the two are immediately obvious: the newer version definitely tastes better, thanks entirely to the magic of cane sugar, and through tasting this one the apple juice concentrate in the old one becomes glaringly obvious to the point that it tastes more like a diluted apple juice than it does a tea. The apple juice is also a much sharper sweetness, more forward, more biting, while the cane sugar gives it a smoother rolling feel. The older one also leaves me with a parched sensation, still feeling a bit dry and thirsty after it rather than being satisfyingly quenched. I can’t be mad about a full graphic rebrand to go alongside a new, better flavoring, and fully agree that this is how it should be done rather than just sneaking iterations through unannounced like how MOSS does, but I can be mad that I won’t see Sunny the poolside gator on shelves anymore. At least now he will be on mine.
Old:
New:
Pretty Tasty
The cans have a really fun holographic design that resembles those mixed drinks that have edible glitter in them in a way that signals vanity almost as much as their name. Pretty Tasty is a line of collagen iced teas, claiming to benefit skin, nails, hair, and joints with their purified peptides sourced from bovine collagen, positioning themselves as an alternative to collagen powders and other sources that can be bulky or gritty, instead being a cute and fun drink to pose with to earn some income online. 10g of collagen in each can which is on the higher end (2.5 to 15g) of the recommended effective and safe amount, 0g sugar, less than 60 mg which roughly is half to two-thirds a cup of coffee, gluten-free and (generic) allergen-free, and obviously not vegan at all given what the word ‘bovine’ means and if you have any rudimentary understanding of what collagen even is unlike at least one reviewer here that has me wondering why they even picked this up at all if they don’t know what it is. While standard collagen is too large of a molecule for the human body to properly break down into anything useful, the collagen in here is specifically collagen hydrolysate, broken down into smaller peptides that can be more easily absorbed, and now has studies showing favorable results towards intentional applications for promoting “hydration, elasticity, firmness, wrinkle reduction, and skin rejuvenation” including through consuming it in food or drink, as well as numerous applications in the food industry. Despite these positive studies suggesting that collagen peptide intake is the miracle aging cure, it’s still not completely known if the collagen digested by the body is actually what’s providing the benefit, or going to where you would like it to go, as the same peptides you may want to benefit your hair, skin, and nails could also end up in cartilage, bone, muscles, or tendons with no real way to direct where it goes; this Harvard article instead suggests that better ways to control these aesthetic goals would be healthy diet and lifestyle alongside proper sun protection, and I truly believe that this is just the result of strong correlation with lifestyle choices. A quick look at their Instagram shows that they market entirely to a specific type of influencer girlie that I don’t think actually exists below yearly income levels of $150k, which further muddies any evidence of Pretty Tasty having any direct involvement in any of its claims, but the one I’m here to figure out is more directly what their name states: is it tasty?
Lemon Luminance
With the ingredients listing what is basically just a really watered down black tea I really didn’t expect much flavor from it–it tastes like iced tea with lemon in it. The collagen is tasteless and completely unnoticeable, while there’s nothing else in there that could really sway the flavor to anything else apparent aside from stevia. It’s so intensely unremarkable that I truly don’t have much else to add besides further commentary that it just tastes like any old regular lemon tea. Pretty Tasty’s entire thesis is providing a ready-to-drink collagen option that isn’t “messy, gritty, often unpleasant and inconvenient” like other options are, so that fact that it’s unremarkable seems to be the point.
Peach Perfection
I’m seeing other reviews say that the collagen in these do “impart a bit of flavor and body” but I’m not really tasting anything uniquely different in this, and I don’t know what collagen is supposed to taste like. There’s no graininess or chalkiness that I see people complain about other collagen powders, and once again this is just a really unremarkable tea that has peach flavor. I could argue that I expect a higher level flavor from a canned tea that costs $3.50 for 12 fl oz, but how can I really complain that much about something that tastes fine and sneaks in a health benefit? “Lemon flavor was too similar to another brand” like honestly what kind of complaint is that?
And if none of this collagen nonsense interests you, these all have zero sugar (uses stevia instead), no artificial colors, allergen-free, gluten-free, non-GMO, as many of those virtue points as you can get while being made from boiled cow bones.
I feel like the alleged benefits here are not visible or possible with the two cans I had, and would only become apparent (or not) through a regular routine of consuming them, which by that point I think it would just be the daily consumption of water at all benefiting me. Evidence of any benefits seem to be entirely anecdotal and difficult to replicate, requiring larger scale randomized testing to actually come close to confirming anything. I just honestly believe that the people who would purchase Pretty Tasty explicitly for the collagen skin benefits are already doing everything else possible alongside other healthy routines, and this just becomes redundant and unnecessary; maybe great for people like me who actively aren’t doing anything, but the moment I commit to buying one of these every single day will be the same day I just regularly drink water instead of just milk or Cherry Coke. I can’t deny that I do sorta love the overly-feminine campiness this has, while this does genuinely have a trendy health benefit that actually has some genuine–if just a little overstated–science behind it; feels sorta Elle Woods.
Juni
What looked to be the most promising new item on Sprouts’ Innovation displays was quickly relegated to a small shelf spot in a crowded field while the non-alcoholic functional mocktail spritzer craze took hold, Juni is yet another functional beverage touting adaptogens and a higher graphic design budget to make cute cans. Taking the form of a sparkling tea and surviving on the more visible shelves of Target, Juni touts its certified organic ‘Super-5 blend’ of green tea, ashwagandha, lion’s mane, reishi mushrooms, and acerola cherries. These are meant to fight fatigue, promote brain health and metabolism, increase memory and endurance, alleviate stress and anxiety, and provide a good source of antioxidants. Founded by a famous life coach and entrepreneur and his best-selling-author wife, started in retail at Erewhon, and inspired by pseudoscientific ayurveda, this leaves me intensely skeptical and smelling a fraudster shilling another parasitic business venture, but I’ve already bought these so let’s see if they taste alright.
Lemon Zest
What I like about this one is that despite being a green tea it has more than enough flavors and sweeteners to make this something I can personally stand to drink. The lemon flavor is definitely lemon, but doesn’t really lean too sour or tart (though technically I’d still call it tart) and rather towards what I’d consider clean, i.e. something like what an air freshener smell would taste like. One negative aspect of this is it makes my throat feel really dry afterwards, and I’m not sure if that should ever be a factor when drinking something that should refresh you.
Strawberry Hibiscus
Probably the best strawberry-flavored thing I’ve had yet, and I credit the hibiscus entirely providing its own fruity floral tartness that provides a fantastic partner to that fake strawberry taste lurking and muted effectively. This does leave my throat feeling a little dry, but not nearly as much as the Lemon Zest did. The carbonation in this–and all of these–is so light that it’s easy to forget it’s there.
I can’t really say that their Super-5 Blend has helped me yet with any of its promised energy, focus, and wellness, as I’ve promptly fell asleep while drinking the last two of these when I should’ve been writing this review.
Peach
The peach smell with this is absolutely amazing, but unfortunately doesn’t translate over to the flavor very well. I can’t say that the flavor is wrong, but rather it seems more like an extremely realistic peach flavor that’s more warm and meaty rather than sweet and fruity, leaning into a sense of savory that I don’t particularly enjoy in a drink. It also has my throat feeling immediately dry to the extent that I don’t want to finish this. I’m left confused as to why this is happening with every flavor, as several of the ingredients are meant to promote the exact opposite and leave you feeling refreshed.
I’d like to know how they achieved these flavors, as they’re all so realistic and accurate, with the Strawberry Hibiscus specifically being extremely good, but it’s almost all entirely concealed within “natural flavors” in the ingredient list. Otherwise, there are drinks that promise the same thing and taste better overall while actually doing maybe one of the things they say they will.
Sparkling Botanicals by Rishi Tea
Rishi was founded as an artisan tea distributor, bringing hard-to-find tea to North America with the hopes of being embraced like single origin coffee and fine varietal wine, focused on direct trade and sustainable organic products. For people like me who don’t have the energy or care to brew up a cup of artisanal tea, Rishi Tea & Botanicals has a line of products called Sparkling Botanicals, which is “craft brewed with rare ingredients and without any added sugar”, lightly carbonated teas that dip a bit into unconventional-to-westerner flavors from mostly traditional eastern and south Asian recipes and medicine. While Rishi’s other products like tea sachets and concentrates seem to be more widely available, I only ever saw ready-to-drink Sparkling Botanicals at Earth Fare, originally $3.99 for a standard 12 fl oz can and on sale for 2/$7; they’re also available at all kinds of local natural foods stores, but let’s be honest with ourselves with how infrequently any of us actually go to one of those.
Dandelion Ginger
A ginger tea that is their ‘take’ on real brewed ginger beer that is assuredly still a tea that’s carbonated and not a soda. There’s a lot of flavors in here for only the ginger to really have a presence. Surprisingly, the chili peppers that exist last on the ingredients list is the only thing that peeps up in the aftertaste as a slight spicy tingle in my throat. There’s a very gentle herbal sense in this that’s really hard to distinguish from the ginger, but it’s not quite as medicinal as ginger could be so I suppose it has to be the work of the dandelion, rosemary, orange, lemon, or lime that’s also allegedly in here.
Schisandra Berry
Schisandra Berry is yet another holistic herb/fruit that has long claims of magical healing properties yet has no studies that fully support anything being said, including a massive disclaimer on this website and several points warning that this may actually work against more effective and studied treatments. Now, don’t get me wrong, it’s obvious and accepted that plants and herbs can be used to treat all kinds of ailments and disorders, but it just tickles me how SO MANY of these traditional medicines solve basically everything yet have only the thinnest or anecdotal evidence supporting it within science communities that are otherwise genuinely hungry to find anything they can to help treat diseases; it’s these lack of rigorous and responsible studies, more accurately the wanton disregard and denial, that opens the door for these holistic remedies to actually be worse for you. Nowhere on this can, though, does Sparkling Botanicals make any of these health claims, instead talking about the flavor and that alone. Unlike the Dandelion Ginger flavor, the ingredients of this are extremely simple, being just carbonated water and organic schisandra berries, touting the berry’s “unique balance of sweet, sour, salty, bitter, and pungent flavors leading to a profile that is tart”, lending credit to the schisandra berry’s colloquial name ‘five-flavor berry’.
Unfortunately, I’m not getting much of that, settling on a very mild savory/tart mix that you could mistake as any generic berry flavor if you didn’t read the can. Naturally unsweetened, but still with a little touch of it so it goes unnoticeable, you could just settle on calling this an alternative soda and calling it a day. The carbonation was very gentle, and became barely noticeable after sitting on my coffee table for 15 minutes while I sat here typing away. Direct trade, small batch craft brewed, “REAL VIRTUE” emblazoned on the side so you don’t forget why you bought this instead of Mtn Dew, but it’s very noticeable to me that they’re not shilling this drink by making any direct claims of, like, mystical anti-inflammatory life solutions through reckless use of whatever adaptogen sounds cool this financial quarter; this just feels more genuine to me.
If I come across Sparkling Botanicals again, and they also happen to be on a much better sale and pricing structure, I will consider trying some other flavors as the ones I tried were at worst inoffensive and slightly boring. They did the job they set out for, no more and no less, and that’s commendable enough on its own, and I’m always a fan of things that focus on discovering and sharing genuinely rare and unique flavors. With all of their Sparkling Botanical drinks being sourced from their own Rishi Herb Lab, they definitely can expand more than their current six flavor offerings, and I’d like to see how a Lavender Mint or Pu’er Ginger come out.
Tama Tea
I’ll be honest, I tried these drinks before I looked up any background information, and these just left me with absolutely no inspiration to move forward with only me feeling the need to pad this part with enough text to adequately fit the image I plan on putting next to it without it intruding on the other sections. ‘Focused energy, no sugar added, no crash ever’, and absolutely no flavor beyond what you hallucinate yourself through naive wishing thanks to their promise of “5 ingredients or less”. To be fair, plenty of things have less than 5 ingredients and taste perfectly fine, i.e. have a taste you can perceive at all, but the factor here is volume and dose, which is a corner I believe Tama Tea has cut by having an irresponsible amount of sparkling water relative to any flavors used. I snagged these at a Whole Foods in North Carolina because it said ‘Local’ and they were only $1.99 for a 12 fl oz can, which is a steal compared to what most of these things go for. Yet another ‘healthy’ product that merchandises itself as being ‘no guilt’ which is constantly a disgusting implication to place on the consumers as it can easily generate disordered eating that has landed us in this vile political landscape we’re sitting in that’s based entirely on privilege and disinformation, and the only people who should be feeling guilty are the founders who are yet another band of white people who went on an expensive vacation and found ‘local flavors’ to bring back and monetize. Maybe I’m more bitter about this than I should be, but at least that might taste like anything.
Go Go Mango
As my introduction has gracefully insinuated in only the most subtle terms, I’m absolutely not getting any mango flavor from this, just carbonated green tea. I'm just not a fan of this because I don't prefer green tea and was just hoping there'd be a little something more going on here than weak bubbles and watered down bland tea. This press release just straight up lies that this tastes accurate as there’s just nothing there to sense accuracy at all, and claims that it’s big on flavor must be speaking only of the green tea and nothing more.
Lemo Lavender
Originally called Lemon Lavender but somewhere along the way decided to drop the ‘n’ for Lemo Lavender. I held out hope that this would have a stronger taste, as lavender is one of my favorite offbeat flavors, but when it smelled just like green tea when I cracked it open I very quickly adjusted my expectations. It's just another sparkling green tea, no frills or any excitement at all, boasting a dozen virtues like non-GMO, organic, no artificial colors or flavors, plant based, no preservatives, and most egregiously no added sugars when this is something that desperately needed it. I will say that having lemon in it made it a more tolerable green tea experience for me specifically, but it was still very one-note and lacking any of the special flavor I even bothered buying this for. Tama Tea makes a great case for all kinds of additives being included because you truly don't know what you're missing until you're eating something that boasts single-digit ingredients.
In a field that’s getting exponentially more crowded, you’d think they would try to stand out in a way that’s not the same tired anti-science “from nature, not a lab” shtick claiming that natural is intrinsically better and otherwise can’t be safe or healthy. Real, real, real, real, and absolutely nothing else going for it, so why not just eat a mango and drink some water and leave this behind because if real, natural, and few ingredients is all you have going for yourself then you can’t compete with nature itself.
| The 'Shroom: Issue 220 | |
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