Director's Notes
Welcome to June!! Congrats to all gay people for existing! đ⨠Along with celebrating Pride nationally, The 'Shroom is also putting a special focus on Villains! Being evil and gay are my favorite things, so this is a beautiful time to BE SURE TO VOTE IN THE COMMUNITY AWARDS!!! That's right! Along with the Mario and Fail polls we also have polls to vote on some of your favorite parts of this community in the last year, including The 'Shroom, events, games, characters, aspects of the people who exist around here and what makes this place thriving!
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And now for my regular announcements: We've decided to implement in Critic Corner something similar to News Flush over in Fake News, where no formal sign-up application process is required for one-time or limited sections. From now on if you just want to send in a single review for something you just read, watched played, tried, whatever, you just have to send me your review privately either to me directly in chat, or in a message to me on the forum at least one week before each 'Shroom is to be released! There's no commitment or obligation to provide a full monthly section (although you absolutely can shift it into one if you so choose), just send us your thoughts on a thing and we'll feature it here! If you have any questions or curiosities about this, please feel free to ask!
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Section of the Month
| CRITIC CORNER SECTION OF THE MONTH | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Place | Section | Votes | % | Writer |
| 1st | Anton's Half-Baked Reviews | 11 | 37.93% | Hypnotoad (talk) |
| 2nd | Yoshi18 Reviews | 4 | 13.79% | Yoshi18 (talk) |
| 2nd | Video Game Review | 4 | 13.79% | Waluigi Time (talk) |
| 2nd | Elemental Enemies | 4 | Boo1268 (talk) | |
Paper Mario Boss Ranking
Written by: Waluigi Time (talk)
When people talk about their favorite villains from the Mario RPGs, you usually hear about characters like Fawful, Dimentio, or Count Bleck. That's all well and good, but personally, some of my favorite villains in the Mario RPGs (and the franchise as a whole, honestly) are the chapter bosses from the original Paper Mario, and those guys don't get quite enough love compared to the flashier ones that followed them. Since it's the villain special, I thought it would be fun to rank all eight of the original chapter bosses (sorry Bowser, you're on your own). Obviously, spoilers for Paper Mario if you're still worried about a 25-year old game.
8. Lava Piranha
Lava Piranha as a character is probably the weakest of the bunch. It's a pretty bog-standard broken English monster type character, and doesn't really have any characterization or motivations. Bowser gave it a Star Spirit to guard and that's about it. I think it's cool when the big bad is somewhat involved in the events of the chapter, and Lava Piranha doesn't really do that either. I guess it's responsible for causing Mt. Lavalava to erupt at the end, but that's about it. Aside from a handful of cutscenes involving Putrid Piranhas as you explore Mt. Lavalava, Lava Piranha's presence is hardly felt during the chapter until you reach the boss room.
I can't really give Lava Piranha any points on design, either. Don't get me wrong, I think it's cool! But it's also blatantly obvious that the developers looked at Naval Piranha and said "sure, let's set that on fire". I guess it makes sense with the prominent Yoshi's Island themes of chapter five, but it doesn't earn Lava Piranha many points for originality, unfortunately.
The boss battle is pretty cool, though! The fake-out where you think you've defeated Lava Piranha, complete with the victory jingle starting to play, only for it to re-emerge from the lava in an even more powerful form is pretty fun and memorable. I don't think that's been done in Paper Mario since then, maybe even the Mario RPGs as a whole. (Let me know if I'm wrong, I haven't played/watched all of them!) Speaking of memorable moments, Kolorado trying to "help" during the fight is another funny one. "Go! Mario! Go!" isn't my favorite of the boss themes in this game, but it's certainly still a good one. I remember when I first played this game, this was where I felt the difficulty on the bosses really started to ramp up, to the point where a much younger Waluigi Time looked up a video of someone fighting Lava Piranha, wrote down every single move they made, and copied them. That's kind of embarrassing because they give you the partner that Lava Piranha is exceptionally weak to in the same chapter, but I was not very good at the game back then and should probably replay it sometime with the knowledge that you don't need Spike Shield equipped at all times.
7. Crystal King
Okay, I already anticipate getting some flack for putting him this low on the list, but hear me out! I like the Crystal King! I think he's cool (pun maybe intended). However, I also think he's a very underexplored character. Much like Lava Piranha, he barely has any impact on the chapter's events outside of being the guard for the Star Spirit, and almost no presence until you finally encounter him in the boss room. He just feels weirdly disconnected compared to everyone else on this list. There's barely any mention of him throughout the chapter, and I don't think Bowser or Kammy even acknowledge him at all even though Goombario's Tattle calls him "one of Bowser's main guys". I don't know, maybe his mysterious nature works in his favor - he's the only character on this list not based on an established Mario design, after all - but it doesn't feel intentional, it feels like an accident from him being underbaked. What ranks him higher than Lava Piranha for me in this regard is that I feel like there's at least the potential there if they explored him more, while Lava Piranha is pretty one-note.
His design is pretty cool (pun maybe intended) though. Like I said, he's the only one of these bosses not based on an existing design, the closest counterpart being the Crystal Bits he summons which share some design motifs but that's about it. Just a floating pair of eyes in kingly garb, neat! I don't know if it was intentional but I always saw the inside of his ruffle collar as a stand-in for a mouth, so there's your fun fact. Maybe you can't unsee it now. Unfortunately, it does add to that disconnected feeling where the rest of the enemies in the Crystal Palace don't feel like they fit as well with him thematically, and he's really the only one of the bosses that has this problem. I'm not asking for mini Crystal Kings, but perhaps playing into the icy or royal motifs would've been neat.
His battle though... Yeah, he's one of the ones that gave me the most trouble in my original playthrough. He's got a lot of annoying tricks, like being able to freeze you, create decoys that can barely be distinguished from the real things, and, oh yeah, heal himself! This is one of the worst parts of his battle, in my opinion. You've got this 70 HP juggernaut with 2 defense points to boot, and sometimes he can just decide nah, you're doing too well, I'm gonna heal 20 HP. He's not the first boss with this ability, Huff N. Puff can also do it, but he heals by inhaling the Tuff Puffs that break off of him and you can strategize around that. For Crystal King, he just heals, nothing you can do to stop him! Also, he's kind of sort of weak to fire (according to the wiki, fire attacks just pierce his defense rather than dealing more damage, so items like the Fire Flower don't deal any extra damage), but you don't exactly have an abundance of those in this game and this is well past the point of getting any more partners. Your best bet is Kooper's Fire Shell... which only hits enemies on the ground... and he can levitate... As much as a pain he is, "Freeze!" is a really good battle theme and I like that it incorporates some of the motifs from "Crystal Palace Crawl", it suits him well.
Talking about Crystal King reminds me of a specific memory though! Waaay back in the day (before some people who have written for The 'Shroom were even born, and that makes me feel old), there was a Top Ten Hardest Bosses in Mario Games made by Alex Rochon (yeah, THAT Alex Rochon!) video that I watched several times. Crystal King ranked number ten on that video and was the only boss from the original Paper Mario included, no sign of Bowser or even The Master. I'm not sure that I agree he's the hardest boss in the game, but he sure is a doozy.
6. Huff N. Puff
Now we're getting into it! For all the issues I've had so far with bosses not feeling very present in their chapters, Huff N. Puff is not one of them. Huff N. Puff's henchman are very clearly responsible for creating the thick cloud cover that's causing all the problems in Flower Fields, and they make you very aware of him even if he's not actually encountered until the very end. Lakilester being a miniboss created specifically to be one of his minions helps him a lot there I feel, the other bosses don't really have that. And you know, his plans make sense, he's an evil cloud man, of course he wants clouds. So with all that, why is he only sixth? I just don't think he's that interesting as an individual, frankly. Feels like Lava Piranha is where they ran out of good hooks for their villains. Oh well.
Crystal King gets the distinction of being the only one of these bosses not based on an existing enemy, but Huff N. Puff is the only one based on a Paper Mario enemy, the Ruff Puffs! Well, maybe they designed Huff N. Puff first and then made the Ruff Puffs based on him. Perhaps we'll never know. Anyway, he sure is a big cloud. I like regular Ruff Puffs better, but he does his job well enough. One thing I'd like to point out is his nose, which the Ruff Puffs don't have but some of the larger Tuff Puffs that break off of Huff N. Puff do. Neat way to bridge the gap between designs.
Huff N. Puff is another boss that I like the battle concept for quite a bit. As you damage him, he shrinks and breaks apart into smaller Tuff Puffs that act independently. He can swallow them back up to heal himself, which makes a lot more thematic sense than a certain Crystal King, and I like this implementation because you can plan around it a lot more. Obviously, you'll want to take out the Tuff Puffs if you can! You get Lakilester in this chapter and he's great at this since he can attack all enemies at once. In general, I think this is just a better version of the Crystal King fight. The healing and minion aspects are more thematic, and he has less abilities that are just there to annoy you while still feeling like a good challenge. Trust me, I died to him several times. And Yuka Tsujiyoko is once again hitting it out of the park with the battle themes, "Huffin' and Puffin'" is perfect for this guy, having a rock style that shows he means business while also incorporating instrumentation you'd expect from a cloudy or sky area.
5. Goomba King
Look at this guy, the goofy prologue villain making the top five. Proud of him. The great Goomba, the grand pooh-bah Goomba. Let's be real, Goomba King is kind of a joke, as he probably should be! He's the Goomba King because he begged Bowser to make him one, and that's it. No family lineage or any sort of claim to it, he just asked Bowser and he went "yeah sure whatever". He's basically a villain with delusions of grandeur playing out his power fantasy, and those kinds of characters are fun! I also have to give a shoutout to the fact that he's the only character on this list who ever appeared again, returning in both Super Mario 64 DS and Mario Kart DS. I'd like to see him again, I think he fits the role of being a big bad boss character for the Goombas like a glove (even though they don't have hands) and would be fun as a recurring character along the likes of King Bob-omb and Petey Piranha. Will it ever happen? Probably not...
His design is pretty simple, they made a Goomba big and dressed him up like a king. I actually like his 64 DS redesign a bit better with the white eyebrows to match his mustache. Does what it needs to, pretty much. His eyes go a long way towards making him look more intentionally goofy, if he didn't have that I think he could come across as too intimidating thanks to his size.
His battle is before you get Action Commands, so it sucks. Still some neat mechanics though like the Goomba Bros. coming to assist with the fun detail that they're low on HP since you already beat them before, and being able to hit the Goomnut tree for free damage on all three of them. "Goomba King's Decree" naturally lacks the grandiose of any other boss theme on here, it's a good track for what it is but I can't rank it above any of the other ones.
4. Tutankoopa
Tutankoopa plays into a similar archetype as Goomba King, but I think he pulls it off better since he gets more screentime. The game makes it pretty clear that he's not a real pharaoh, he's basically just LARPing which is pretty funny. He gets to dress up as a pharaoh, go hang out in the desert ruins, and play with his Chain Chomps, he's just having a good time and I respect that. He also does pretty well as far as being integrated with the chapter goes, Dry Dry Ruins is set up as the big thing well before you get there, and he's throwing all kinds of spooky warnings at you as you progress (and losing his confidence the farther you get). I just think he's really fun conceptually!
He's got a pretty effective design, he's a pharaoh, he's a Koopa, what more do you need? The little Chomp on his headdress gives him some nice extra flair, although perhaps he could've had a pharaoh's cane as well. He uses magic quite a bit, so maybe he could've channeled it through that? We still don't know for sure what type of Koopa he is though, so that's kind of cool. It adds some mystery to him, although I wonder if the developers just didn't think about it that hard. (Don't look at the unused sprite of him without his headdress on though! It's cursed!)
Goomba King aside, I think Tutankoopa's battle is probably the weakest of the chapter bosses. It's fine, but there's not a whole lot going on to make it interesting. Better to get that out of the way early though, right? One thing that I think it does well is that he spends a lot of time on a ledge, encouraging you to use Parakarry or the Quake Hammer badge, which you get in this chapter. Or you can use alternatives like Goombario! "Chomp Attack" is decent, certainly thematic for Tutankoopa and I appreciate the incorporation of motifs from "Dry Dry Ruins Quest", but I think it's one of the weaker boss themes.
3. Tubba Blubba
Now we really get to the good stuff. Tubba Blubba is one of my favorites for reasons I'm about to get into, and the fact that he only made third on this list speaks to how good the remaining bosses are. Conceptually, he's really interesting! He's just a sensitive guy trapped in a big body and gets terrorized by the local Boos, so when he gets the chance at invincibility thanks to Bowser removing his heart (weird, I thought that usually caused death), he has them for lunch. Literally! Let's be real, I know it's the Boos' job to scare people, being ghosts and all, but they kind of had it coming, don't you think? Besides, as the old saying goes, ghosts don't die, so they'll be fine... Tubba Blubba's integration into the story is interesting, he doesn't really cause the problems per se, he is the problem! We also get an interesting twist on the scenarios in the other chapters, Tubba Blubba doesn't even have the Star Spirit anymore because he got away from him, but Lady Bow's holding him hostage until you beat Tubba Blubba anyway, so the point is moot. Really, I think he's one of the most memorable bosses in the game with everything that surrounds him. If I were more unbiased, he may have very well been number one on this list, but it's my subjective opinion instead so you'll have to deal with it. Between encountering him earlier in the chapter where he's truly invincible and the chase sequence through his castle and Gusty Gulch, it's really good stuff.
His design... Well, it works! Nothing wrong with him in a vacuum, but he mostly boils down to a recolored bigger Clubba with a few more monstrous features (I know the wiki only considers him a Spike but I don't care, he'll always be a Clubba to me). I can't really fault him too much for it, the visual serves his role well and it's something that I had to think about for it to give me any pause. The patch on his chest where his heart used to be is a nice touch, though!
I touched on a lot of the gameplay around Tubba Blubba already, and I almost think the actual battle pales in comparison at that point. Not to say it's not good, though! For all intents and purposes, Tubba's Heart is the real boss of this chapter. You fight Tubba Blubba again afterwards but he's a pushover with the same amount of HP as Goomba King at that point. But back to the point, as always I appreciate when a boss works well with the tools you've just received, so of course Tubba's Heart has an extremely powerful attack that takes a turn to charge, giving you a chance to use Lady Bow to dodge it. (Or you can just tank it, but 12 damage this early in the game isn't something I'd want to mess with.) Meshes nicely with Gusty Gulch's hyper enemies also having charge attacks. Also, "Ghost Gulping" isn't my favorite of the boss themes, but it's definitely up there! Nice inclusion of motifs from "The Castle Crumbles" as well.
2. General Guy
Remember what I said about Goomba King? Well, forget him. This is the guy that needs to come back (no pun intended). I know, Shy Guys are almost entirely relegated to the spinoff games for some reason, but General Guy's such a good character... Nintendo, please... Let him lead his troops again... If I could pick one character from this list to bring back, it's General Guy hands down, no second thoughts. It's debatable how much impact he has on the story directly, and I think he's one of those bosses that's not mentioned until the boss room, but I'll cut him some slack here because his Shy Guy troops are the driving force behind this chapter, unlike characters like Lava Piranha or Crystal King, whose minions feel disconnected from them and not as important.
Design? Perfect. He's a Shy Guy general, he's got the little military uniform and even a medal, and they give him a color-swapped robe to distinguish him from the rest of them. Pretty fitting with how many Shy Guy variants they throw at you in this game. I'll even talk about his tank! It's great, and looks entirely what someone living in a toy box would scrounge up.
General Guy's battle is really cool, making full use of the military theme by having you fight different formations of Shy Guys before he comes in to get the job done himself. The tank is another really good mechanic for showing off partner abilities, since it gives General Guy quite a bit of defense for this point in the game and you just got Watt who ignores defense! Makes sense why she was imprisoned, huh? Lava Piranha may have been the turning point where the difficulty really ramped up for me on my original playthrough, but General Guy was where I was really starting to feel that challenge aspect. I can't hate him for it, he's just cool like that. "Keeping Pace" is a great battle theme for him too, mixing the military theme with the silliness of the Shy Guys and their toy box.
1. Koopa Bros.
Here we go, number one baby, it's none other than the Koopa Bros.! The coolest of cool, with the best theme music of any character in this game. Love these guys, the worst part about them is that they get set up for a rematch in the final chapter but it's a fakeout and you just end up fighting Jr. Troopa again, and he doesn't even have any new gimmicks, he just cycles through some of his old ones! We could've had a cool Koopa Bros. redux fight, man... Anyway, they're just really fun characters with a lot of personality, and they're constantly screwing with you throughout the chapter. You know, like that one fake ? Block that you see them set up but you have no choice but to fall for it to progress the story.
Pretty solid designs! They're Koopa Troopas dressed up like ninjas, and they don't have to be much more than that. I appreciate how they're not just Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle clones (I mean, maybe they couldn't be if they wanted to avoid the copyright lawyers), as a matter of fact the resemblance pretty much stops at both groups being turtles that are ninjas. It would've been cool if Black Ninjakoopa was blue instead as a Super Mario World reference, although maybe that would've been too similar to Kooper.
The Koopa Bros. have a pretty fun boss fight too, starting off with an obviously fake Bowser disguise. (Maybe a reference to Super Mario Bros.?) The fight against the fake Bowser isn't really that interesting, it's a damage sponge that repeats the same attack over and over. But it's funny! The Koopa Bros. themselves are more interesting with their tower stack mechanic, even if they're mechanically slightly stronger Koopa Troopas otherwise. This is where new partners start to come in handy for the boss fights, with Bombette making quicker work of their tower formation than usual. Also, "Attack of the Koopa Bros." is my favorite chapter boss theme in the game ("King of the Koopas" gives it a run for its money though, I gotta say, but Bowser's not on this list!).
Movie Review
| Megamind vs. The Doom Syndicate | |
|---|---|
| |
| Genres | Animated, Fantasy, Comedy |
| Release date | March 1, 2024 |
| Starring | Keith Ferguson, Laura Post, Josh Brener, Maya Aoki Tuttle, Emily Tunon, Talon Warburton, Scott Adsit, Chris Sullivan, Tony Hale, Jeanine Mason, Adam Lambert |
| Runtime | 85 minutes |
| Rating | G (USA) |
Ollo! It's been a while since I last reviewed a movie, hasn't it? With the Villains Special now here, I thought it'd be fitting for me to review a film about, well, villains! So I present to you - Megamind vs. The Doom Syndicate!
I'm not too familiar with the first Megamind film released back in 2010. I saw it once when it was on Peacock and I thought it was pretty good. To keep things brief, the movie was about a supervillain (Megamind) creating a new hero (Tighten, or is it Titan?) to battle against after defeating his archnemesis (Metro Man) due to losing his purpose in life. Unfortunately, Tighten proves to be a worse villain than Megamind, and Megamind is forced to stop him and save Metro City. Afterwards, Megamind is seen as a hero and becomes the defender of Metro City. A classic tale of a reformed character done nicely! As a bonus, the film spawned many memes such as "Presentation!" and gained a cult following.
Fast-forward to February 1, 2024. Out of nowhere, a sequel to Megamind is announced: Megamind vs. The Doom Syndicate! Curiously, the film is Peacock exclusive and won't be shown in movie theaters. Still, the return of the hilarious reformed villain with much more meme material? It's a dream come true for Megamind fans.
But oh dear, what's this? The comment section isn't positive at all. People are making fun of the trailer and expressing their disappointment with this upcoming movie? Yikes. Maybe this wasn't worth the nearly 14-year wait after all.
As expected, Megamind vs. The Doom Syndicate received overwhelmingly negative reviews, especially from fans of the original. On IMDB, the film has an average rating of 2.5/10, Google reviews are currently at a 1.7/5, and review website Rotten Tomatoes gave it a shocking 9%, effectively making it one of the worst, if not the worst DreamWorks film ever made. This is a review of how I feel about the movie, and I don't think it's terrible. Shark Tale is way worse... my gosh that was awful.
So! Megamind vs. The Doom Syndicate takes place two days after the first movie. Megamind is continuing to defend Metro City, but his former supervillain team - the Doom Syndicate - breaks out of prison. Thinking Megamind is still evil, they intend to reunite with their leader to execute "phase 2", an ongoing plan to propel Metro City to the moon using rockets located beneath the city. Megamind has no choice but to play along until he can think of a plan to stop them; in the meantime, he and his news reporter ally - Roxanne Ritchi - pretend they're in love so the Doom Syndicate won't be suspicious. Also, Megamind's assistant, Ol' Chum (formerly "Minion" but changed his name due to a cease and desist order from a restaurant in the film, Mr. Minion's Meatsicles) leaves his master to work at a rundown diner due to not being appreciated, and hyper #1 Megamind fan Keiko Morita does her best to help out her idol... even if he isn't fond of it.
This is a plot you'd see in any children's film: not very elaborate but still offering entertainment. It actually reminds me of Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2 because it introduces a character (well in this case, characters) connected to the hero in some way and weren't seen or mentioned in the predecessor. They were just added to have a plot for the movie. The Doom Syndicate are at least more interesting characters than Chester V, because they are actually threatening. Overall the plot is a decent one; nothing groundbreaking but not boring.
Megamind, Roxanne and Ol' Chum return from the original film, but a bunch more characters make their debut, both major and minor. I'll go over the most notable new ones to save time:
- The Doom Syndicate - A supervillain team with Megamind as their former leader. They all believe Megamind is only pretending to be good, and they constantly bicker about who the new leader is.
- Lady Doppler - A villain with powers over the weather. She has a grudge with Roxanne for getting her fired over her weather reporting job because Roxanne got her fired for always incorrectly predicting the weather. She sees herself as the new leader of the squad, even though the others object.
- Lord Nighty-Knight - A knight with a deep voice and powers over shadows. His name used to be "Fright Night", but he changed it to his current name. The other Doom Syndicate members make fun of his new, less-scary name. He does have a soft side, as mid-way through the movie he obtains a teddy bear (which he names Mr. Cuddly Snuggles).
- Behemoth - A large lava/rock monster with immense strength. He also has the power to break apart to become gravel to get into tight spaces. Behemoth speaks in the third person and has simple sentences, kinda like typical buff characters.
- Pierre Pressure - A mime-themed villain with a French accent. He has the power to hypnotize people using swirls.
Behemoth is my favorite member of the Doom Syndicate. He's goofy and has the potential to cause the most destruction of the four. I like Lord Nighty-Knight too because he reminds me of Batman and he has funny moments, like when he fails to break down the door to Megamind's lair. Lady Doppler however comes across as annoying most of the time because she's usually complaining and being bratty. She's my least favorite member, but she's not the worst character in the world. Pierre Pressure is fine, and his hypnosis powers are interesting, but I prefer the former two more.
- The Go Fish Gang - A trio of men in fish costumes that attempt to steal a valuable fish from the aquarium. Later on, they try to expose Megamind by revealing to the other villains that Megamind is not pretending to be a hero.
- Keiko Morita - Megamind's energetic #1 fan who's always around. She's a middle school student, social media influencer, and president of Megamind's fan club. She assists Megamind with saving Metro City.
- Mayor - The mayor of Metro City. He's not very confident at what he does and usually freaks out.
- Mr. Donut - Was formerly the owner of a shabby diner and Ol' Chum's boss, but after Chum renovated the place to become a donut shop, he became the mascot of the restaurant, giving himself his new name and equipping a donut costume.
The mayor and Mr. Donut aren't very notable, but the Go Fish Gang are pretty lame honestly. No wonder they were below Metro Man's radar! Of course, you need lame villains to tell the viewers that the Doom Syndicate is the real deal! I also got tired of all the fish puns they made, including their bizarre "Your skills are like the Titanic - a total disaster!" quote. Now about Keiko... if you check out the user reviews on IMDB, chances are you'll see many that complain about how annoying she is. If you can see past her Pinkie Pie levels of excitement, then you'll find her bearable. I don't hate her like others do, and it is cringy hearing about the social media popularity, but I don't mind her. I don't believe Keiko's as annoying as everyone says.
Due to being a direct-to-streaming film, Megamind vs. The Doom Syndicate had a small budget. Because of this, the movie won't look as good as the original did. The animation isn't as smooth and detailed as Megamind, which is a common criticism I've seen. People online make jokes that a film released fourteen years later looks worse than its predecessor, which is obviously the case! I want to compare the animation to another DreamWorks series based on a franchise: DreamWorks Dragons: The Nine Realms. Both have animated similarly, and they don't look cheap at all. Now if this had a much higher budget and was released in theaters, then there'd be no excuse for the quality presented. I think the team did great with the resources they had, and it still looks nice.
No movie is perfect, and now I have to discuss the issues Megamind vs. The Doom Syndicate has. There are two main issues I have with this film: a plot hole, numerous animation errors, and the odd incompetence of Megamind himself.
I'm starting out with the animation errors! making sure everything's right before releasing films is pretty tough to do. Everything has to be consistent and connect seamlessly. Sometimes, no matter how much work and effort is put in, there's bound to be a few animation errors present. Thankfully, they're usually hard to spot as it's the minor details rather than the big ones. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for this movie. There are multiple very noticeable errors present! Let me list out all the ones that I can think of off the top of my head:
- When Keiko turns on the Megamind spotlight, her hand bends in unusual ways. A small, almost unnoticeable error, but an error is an error.
- When the citizens are running away from an out-of-control tank from the Go Fish Gang, a man "teleports" to the left while running.
- When Megamind lowers his arms after saying "...and me is one of my favorite things in the whole wide world!", one of his shoulders gets deformed.
- During the dance party scene, a man is seen dancing "robotically", like something out of a stop-motion film. I think someone forgot to animate him.
- The most infamous one: When Megamind and Roxanne blast the Doom Syndicate with tennis ball launchers, there is a scene where they shoot out tennis balls in slow motion. The tennis balls just "appear" out of thin air as still images. This one is especially mocked.
Most of these appear in the trailer by the way! The film may have a small budget, and I find all of these errors hilarious, but they all worsen the film's quality, making it look rushed and unpolished. Not a deal breaker for me though.
I think the biggest problem with Megamind vs. The Doom Syndicate is how Megamind is portrayed. Not by his voice actor (I'll get to that soon) but just how he acts in the movie. After Chum leaves, Megamind becomes an idiot, which is ironic considering he's a genius! There was a scene where he used a bobblehead of himself to tell Roxanne to immediately rush to his lair because there was an emergency. What do you think it is? Wanna take a guess? If you guessed "He has no idea how to use a toaster", then you're correct! It's very awkward to witness Megamind fail to understand how to use a basic everyday appliance because his assistant's no longer present. His stupidest moment however was not using his "De-gun" on the Doom Syndicate to turn them into harmless cubes. He DOES use it on the Go Fish Gang, so why not the Doom Syndicate? It would've prevented all of this from happening! I suppose it would reduce the movie's length to about twenty minutes, maybe even less than that, but why not make them immune to it? That would not only make Megamind appear less like a dummy, but that would make the Doom Syndicate much more of a threat. Or the De-gun could've been destroyed or lost somehow? Would've made things more interesting.
While not an issue to me, the entire cast from the original Megamind has been replaced, so that means no Will Ferrell, Tina Fey, David Cross, and so on. It's initially disappointing to not hear their voices again, but I say the new cast performs more adequately than expected. Once again it's a budget issue (probably?) that I can definitely forgive!
Although minor, the line "Nobody told me mayoring would be so hard!" is very cheesy. It's more of a nitpick honestly and doesn't affect the quality of the film.
I should also mention that there's a 16-episode TV series (also exclusive to Peacock) known as Megamind Rules!, taking place after the events of the movie. I won't go over that in too much detail because this is a review on Megamind vs. The Doom Syndicate, but it's of similar quality to the movie, albeit a bit better. Be warned that the first episode relies on being "hip" and plenty of internet memes... so much for first impressions! Everything else is fine though.
Now to summarize:
If you go into this movie without any expectations, you will enjoy it. Megamind vs. The Doom Syndicate is a nice film to have on in the background while you're doing other activities, but die-hard Megamind fans will absolutely despise it and use their remotes to de-lete it. I personally think it's an OK film, mainly because I haven't really seen the first movie. There are moments that made me laugh, and I found it entertaining. Is there anything to write home about? No, but Megamind vs. The Doom Syndicate and its accompanying TV series is usually what I have on when Peacock doesn't have have any kids' movies that fascinate me/or if I get bored of watching the Despicable Me films and want to have something that extends to over seven hours total. I don't recommend anyone fond of Megamind to watch this sequel. It's fine for kids to watch, as they (hopefully) won't pick it apart and criticize it.
That concludes my review! Now, what is the opposite of "ollo"?
Elemental Enemies
Written by: Boo1268
Hello there, readers of The 'Shroom. It is I, Boo1268 the Fancy Phantom, back here again with another edition of Elemental Enemies. This is the series where I look into the variety of big bads featured in Skylanders: Trap Team and see how these respective villains fit their types and seeing as how this edition of The 'Shroom is themed around bad guys I found it fitting since this time we will be covering the 3rd largest villain group of the whole game and that's the Tech villains.
(If you want to get to the explanations then please skip ahead, but to those who are new, let me give some context):
In Skylanders: Trap Team, the main gimmick was that using a special crystal insert and the respective crystal element, you could capture some of the villains of the game and play as them for a short period of time, and in the game, certain villains could only be captured with a trap of their element. So, being inspired by Lockston & Gnogginâs Pokemon Type Explained videos, I am to answer the question of how some of the villains fit into their respective element.
Now how this works is that we will be looking into what makes each villain their respective type. Things such as design, abilities, villain quests, lore, personality, etc. Each villain wonât go in any sort of order, but it tends to be that villains that most suit their type and have the most detailed explanation are at the top, and the villains that are the least connected, or more rather should NOT be connected (if specifically stated), go at the bottom. But now, with that out of the way, join me as I try my best to explain my reasonings.
Alright, now is time for the tech villains, and for this group we have:
Dr Krankcase:
While his particular species is unknown, what is known about him is that he is a steampunk inventor who walks around using mechanical spider legs, has his own factory, but also creates wooden robots and uses toxic slime. So yeah, he's a mad scientist to a T so Tech fits him perfectly.
Bruiser Cruiser:
This battle-bound troll operates a giant mech that uses two giant punching fists to hurt his foes, thus the tech element must be applied.
Shrednaught:
This villain is actually two trolls operating a vehicle with a giant spinning mechanical saw attached to it, so you can see why the element fits.
Trolling Thunder:
This villain is a military troll operating a troll-shaped tank, and since tanks (especially very scientific ones) like this one are considered to be machines, this one is pretty simple.
Mab Lobs:
Honestly for this guy, the connections for him are a bit flimsy, but all I could gather is that he is a demolitions expert and wears some demolition/combat armor. Since a lot of these villains seem to be committed to the theme of mechanical combat in one way or another, I guess he fits here. Also, fun fact, did you know that Mab Lobs actually comes from another world, mainly a mirror dimension where everything is reversed?
Brawlrus:
I'm sure you all know the drill by now, but Brawlrus should NOT be a tech villain. Sure, he likes to fight and use a blunderbuss, but just because you like to fight, that doesn't make you a tech villain. Plus, not only is he a pirate and he fires a starfish at you for an attack and has a cannon, but also his villain quest involves him going into a sinking SUBMARINE, so yeah, definitely not a tech villain.
Well, that's three down, seven to go, Things are really starting to heat up here! And speaking of heat, next time we'll cover the fire villains, but before that, thank you for all the support on the last issue, I'm really glad you enjoyed this series. Now with that in mind, hope you enjoy this very villainous issue of The 'Shroom, so until then, see you next time portal masters, and as always: Merci, au revoir.
Super Ninelevendo Entertainment Reviews
Written by: Ninelevendo (talk)
The Switch 2 is perhaps Nintendo's least exciting new home console ever; not because it's horrible, but simply because it's more or less the previous console, but slightly better. This is exactly what myself and many others wanted, a no-gimmick, straight hardware power boost, but it's not very exciting. And how can it be? We've reached a point where gaming only makes improvements in small increments; slightly better resolution, better framerates, better lighting, faster load times. Gone are the days of jumps from only 8 colours to 256, 2D to 3D, jagged polygons to smooth models. As such, unless we somehow discover how to take gaming to the fourth dimension, we're likely never going to have that exciting, fresh new feeling of seeing a console that does something that we've never seen before. And you know what, maybe that's okay. Games these days are capable of looking pretty great and running smoothly, so as long as that's achievable, maybe the hardware upgrade is worth it. Doesn't make the price tag any less hard to swallow, but what can you do.
This is my first time getting a console and launch and I just wanted to document my thoughts on it and what I've been playing on it, so here's a rambling of thoughts about the console that I've attempted to put together into a somewhat cohesive package. Enjoy.
Console
The console itself is big; think like 25% bigger than the original Switch. The Joy-Con are flatter at the front, which leads to a familiar but different feel. The Joy-Con 2 themselves aren't too different, though the sticks are slightly bigger and the ZL and ZR buttons are MUCH bigger, hopefully that means they won't stop working after 2 months like the tic tac sized ones on all of my other Joy-Con. It's hard to say if the sticks will have the drifting problem just yet, though the stick in my left Joy-Con already sounds squeaky after 2 days of use so I can't say that I have much confidence.
The screen feels huge, despite not being OLED the colours seem very vibrant and it overall looks quite nice. Being a 1080p screen makes an immediate difference, it feels much sharper than the Switch 1's screen. The bezels around the screen are fairly large, it reminds me of the original model and feels like they're leaving room for the eventual OLED model to do the exact same thing as last time and make the screen bigger again by lessening the bezel space. The kickstand is solid and goes across the entire back of the console, not too different to how the OLED model worked but certainly a hell of a lot better than the original model. The battery life doesn't seem particularly great, I suppose it is outputting a resolution that's more than twice as big as the previous handheld screen with even more demanding games and better framerates, but it does feel a little hard to back to when the updated Switch battery lasted for a fair while.
Overall it really just feels like a bigger Switch, if you never got the OLED model I imagine it's probably a bigger difference than what I'm experiencing, but it all feels roughly the same. It does make the original Switch seem small by comparison, which is a really weird thing to say when the original is still about three times bigger than a Game Boy Advance.
Nintendo Switch 2 Welcome Tour
Let me address the $10 elephant in the room first: I don't think that this should be paid software. I bought it because I bought the system at launch and there's nothing else new to do on it at the moment besides Mario Kart, but if you decide to but this console a year or two into the future, I have no clue if it's still going to be worth your time.
Putting the price aside, there's actually some pretty neat stuff in here. Fairly fun mini games that make use of the mouse controls or test your ability to see 120fps, tech demos that show off the HDR and HD rumble and trivia about the console's design make this truly feel like a "welcome tour" that showcases all the new capabilities that the console has. Which⌠just makes even less sense to make this a paid-for product considering how well it helps educate the average user and in turn advertise the console.
The "gameplay" loop itself isn't super engaging, it mostly involves collecting stamps (can you tell this is a Japanese company) of all the controller or console parts in order to unlock the next area, which you mostly do to unlock the next set of minigames. Most of the good ones are available at the start and I haven't unlocked many that I thought were more fun than the last, leaving me not super motivated to actually "finish" the game and see all the content.
As of right now, there aren't really any other notable games that make use of 120fps or the mouse controls, so for now this is the best place to test those features out. I imagine that other games in the future, such as the Switch 2 edition of Super Mario Party Jamboree, will also provide an outlet to showcase these features and make that aspect of this software redundant, so⌠will it be worth putting money down on this when more interesting games come out? Probably not.
Mario Kart World
The big, new, first Switch 2 exclusive and latest in Nintendo's best selling franchise, Mario Kart World, is⌠fine. It's Mario Kart. It's nice to have a new one after all this time, but⌠I can't help but feel a bit underwhelmed.
The graphics are fairly pretty, the colour and lighting in the sky is technically pretty impressive and everything is vibrant and fun. I honestly kind of prefer the more realistic Mario Kart 8 artstyle but I can't blame them for going for something different. I don't particularly care for all the new enemy characters or outfits that much, and none of the kart designs really vibe with me either, though I recognise that this is purely a me thing and I'm sure some of you reading this are probably stoked to be able to play as Fish Bones.
Doubling the amount of racers in each race simply does nothing but make races more chaotic. There's now twice the likelihood that you'll get red shelled, hit by a stray green shell, bananaed, bombed, etc. and it feel very hard to make any meaningful progress during a race when you're constantly going back and forth in placement. Even worse is that when you do get hit, you're not simply dropping back a few places⌠you're probably going back about fifteen. The item selection doesn't feel like it was changed much to accommodate the new player count either, it feels almost exactly the same as Mario Kart 8s save for one or two new items like the Ice Flower or Coin Block which really aren't all that exciting. Playing online with this amount of players just⌠kinda sucks.
The open world is a neat idea, however it's missing a hook, a reason to keep coming back. There's some simple fun to be had in simply driving around this large map and pressing on any P Switch challenges that you come across but without any kind of meaningful rewards or progression system, there's nothing to keep me playing for any more than 15 minutes without losing interest. The tracks themselves lose a lot of their identity when the vast majority of the time you'll be driving in a mostly straight line towards the next track instead of actually racing on the course itself, and I wish that there were more options to play on tracks with laps instead of the grand prix and online defaulting to driving between places.
Knockout tour is an interesting battle royale-style mode that adds some tension towards the end of the race when you're scrambling to not be eliminated, and I think is the better way to play online in this game. It does have its own set of issues however, as the races themselves can feel a bit long with a lot of driving straight, and getting blue shelled, triple red shelled or whatever combination of getting mario karted before a checkpoint, resulting in your elimination, feels more frustrating than usual.
Battle mode⌠exists. I've never been the biggest fan of battle mode in Mario Kart but 8 Deluxe added enough options and fun battle maps to make it fun, most of which is missing in World. Only Balloon Battle and Coin Runners are available, which is eh, and the maps available range from straight up circles like Big Donut to basically entire tracks like Moo Moo Meadows, which is even more eeeeeeeeeh. I don't understand how they made this mistake in 8, decided to fix it in Deluxe, and then went straight back to insanely huge maps where you can never find anyone. If I ever decide to play battle mode in the future, I think I'm just going to boot up 8 Deluxe instead.
If there is one thing that I do absolutely love about this game however, it's the soundtrack. The amount of jazzy rearrangements from previous Mario games all throughout the series is seriously awesome, and it's a ton of fun to listen to and recognise which game each piece comes from. It certainly makes for a fantastic free roam driving playlist, which does make it even kind of a shame that the free roam aspect didn't resonate with me. Might make for a good irl driving playlist though.
Overall it really is just⌠a new Mario Kart. I don't know what else there is to say, you'll probably pick this up if you're getting a Switch 2, but even then if you're not that big into Mario Kart then 8 Deluxe will probably be just fine. Maybe there will be some updates that address some of the issues that I have with this game in the meantime, but we'll have to wait and see.
GameCube Classics
GameCube games are great, probably my favourite gaming generation despite not even being old enough to walk when the thing was released because of how much pure fun they can be. They're in this sweet spot between the initial move to 3D from the Nintendo 64 yet before online gaming and patches became a thing, so they've got this wackier, more experimental vibe yet also have enough content and modern sensibilities to keep you coming back for more.
F-Zero GX is a perfect example of that with this bombastic arcade-y gameplay that is hard to master but ultimately satisfying. The story mode's difficulty is cranked up way too high for beginners and there's not a ton of content outside of the short story mode and Grand Prix, but the true fun of this game comes from trying your best to overcome the challenge and finally seeing your effort pay off. You will likely crash and burn a few times, but if you're the type of person that's willing to pick yourself up and try again, I can't recommend this game enough. If you do though, just one word of advice; you're going to want to remap the boost button to something else, the Switch button layout makes it practically impossible to accelerate and boost at the same time. (also don't forget that there's a wide screen option in the settings)
I haven't gotten around to playing Soulcaliber II yet but as a fighting game fan I'm happy that it's on here and will get around to it for sure. It's even got Link! I haven't played Wind Waker either, and I'm a little bummed that we didn't get Wind Waker HD instead. Whenever I get around to playing Wind Waker I'll probably end up playing the Wii U version instead, but I can't really complain that the option to play the original is here I guess.
I think the true value of adding the GameCube library is that there's going to be a much easier and cheaper way to officially play some of the more expensive GameCube games, such as PokĂŠmon XD: Gale of Darkness or Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance. These games go for like $500 AUD so I'm more than happy to try them out here instead of needing to get a bank loan in order to play them.
I haven't been able to test the online multiplayer aspect of the app, as that would require both friends and friends with Switch 2s, both of which I have neither of. From what I've seen online, it doesn't seem like it runs particularly well, with lots of up input delay of even music stuttering, so fortunately you don't need to feel pressured into socialising and making friends for the sake of playing GameCube games online. Thank goodness.
Street Fighter 6
I didn't actually get this game for Switch 2 but I'm still writing about it because it's a great game and it also has crossplay. If you plan on playing this online, please use an ethernet cable to make it a less painful experience for all of us. Thank you.
Switch 2 Edition
As of the time of writing, only two "Nintendo Switch 2 Edition" game upgrades are available, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild & Tears of the Kingdom. These games receive a 60fps update higher resolution and faster load times. I have to say, these updates are really nice. These games don't suddenly look like PS5 games or anything but they do just generally feel nicer for play and look at. I figured that this would be a good opportunity to finally start a Master Mode file on Botw and it's been fun so far. Outside of the increased framerate, it doesn't feel too different, however I imagine this is a case of it being hard to notice where the original issues were if they're no longer there, which means that it's working exactly as intended.
As I'll touch on in the next section, these performance upgrades aren't exclusive to Switch 2 editions, as some games get the same treatment in a patch that released alongside the Switch 2. The Zelda notes feature, which connects to the Nintendo Switch app on a smartphone, appears to be the justification for the paid upgrade, which kinda feels kinda⌠odd? Obviously I don't expect that we should just get every Switch 2 upgrade for free, I'm grateful that Nintendo decided to patch the other games free of charge at all, but it seems weird that this app integration, which seems mostly superfluous to the experience, is the only differentiating feature between the free updates and the $20 ones. These are 100+ hour games, so I'd say it's easily worth it if you haven't played these games before or plan on replaying them, but I can't help but feel like they're charging more than they needed to for these.
The other upcoming Switch edition upgrades seem a bit more substantial by comparison, Super Mario Party Jamboree is adding a few additional modes and minigames that show off the new hardware in various ways, and Kirby & the Forgotten Land is adding an entire extra campaign, which to me sounds like more of a reasonable reason to pay for the upgrade as essentially DLC. I wouldn't mind seeing a few more these types of expansions, particularly for PM:TTYD, Mario Wonder or Pikmin 4, I think there's some potential to add something fun there.
Update Patches
Quite a few first party Nintendo games (mostly mainline Mario & Zeldas) also got a free update that enables enhanced performance on the Switch 2, such as more consistent framerates and better resolutions, or in PokĂŠmon Scarlet & Violet's case, an improved framerate to 60fps. These are all very nice to have, and while I don't have two copies of the game to make a side by side comparison, they do feel crisper, if only ever so slightly. Bowser's Fury is perhaps the most notable improvement that I noticed, being able to run at 60fps in handheld mode is very nice and makes me regret replaying recently, because it does seem like it would have been much nicer on this system. Scarlet & Violet by far received the biggest improvement, it feels really weird seeing the game actually run smoothly, although the sharper resolution only brings out the muddy textures and pop-in even more. Truly one of the games of all time.
It seems that these initial batch of games aren't the only ones that will receive free performance updates, as Splatoon 3 recently got one after release, so hopefully we'll see more in the future. I can't imagine every first party title will get one considering they're not exactly going to make much profit out of free updates, but they make replaying older games more enjoyable. Metroid Dread and Xenoblade Chronicles X updates plz.
Other games
Even aside from the games that specifically got updated to work better on Switch 2, other games see numerous benefits just from being on the upgraded hardware; I booted up Donkey Kong Country Returns HD and it actually loaded faster than the Wii versions, unlike on Switch 1! Truly a marvel of technology that the $60 port of a 15 year old game can now perform better than on the original hardware, for sure. I've also read that other games with uncapped framerates such as the original Hyrule Warriors hit a fairly stable 60fps now when the Switch 1 versions never hit anywhere near that, though I don't own the game myself so I can't confirm. Regardless, you can be pretty confident that any Switch 1 games that you own will at the very least play the same, if not just a bit better.
Conclusion
The Switch 2 really is just, a better Switch. It plays all the same games better, has the better versions of some Switch games, and has a new Mario Kart. At the moment it just kinda feels like a Switch Pro, and if it wasn't for the backwards compatibility I probably would have put it down to go back to the Switch 1 already, but this is clearly only because it's the launch of the console and only has one exclusive, I'm sure that later on when more games come out it won't feel this way. Honestly I think my biggest realisation here is that console launches are actually pretty boring lol.
If you haven't gotten one yet, I'd say that waiting until more comes out is a perfectly reasonable decision, there simply isn't enough reason to get one at the moment if you're not chomping at the bit to play a new Mario Kart. We haven't seen a ton of new games yet with only Donkey Kong Bananza and Kirby Air Riders being the two exclusives that I'm particularly interested in, but considering that we got a fairly diverse library with the original Switch, I'm sure that in a few years time the Switch 2 will be well worth the investment. Until then, we can sit and wait until Nintendo finally decide to outdo themselves with a racing game and actually make a new F-Zero.
Completion Centre
Written by: Sentient freedom (talk)
Hello again, 'Shroom readers. So the time has come, the Nintendo Switch 2 has finally been released, so now the ultimate question arises: Will the Switch 2 be as successful as Nintendo thought it would be? Or will it flop as we all expected and force Nintendo to assert dominance, or lower the prices of the console and Mario Kart World? If you're asking me, then the latter, because Mario Kart World being $79.99 has been complained about for a long time, and the game itself has been causing panic for all of the moderators here, but only time will tell. But until then, welcome back to the Completion Centre, and as promised, here is my 100% Review for Dadish 2!
Personal Pathway
Now, just like Dadish, my tablet was acting up when I tried to play it, so once again I had to play the Poki version. Anyway, Dadish 2, just like Dadish, was a great balance of easy and hard and the story is just crazy. Here, Dadish's kids decide that it is "Bring your kids to work day" and show up at Enuiga Corp, which is Dadish's workplace where he is sleeping on the job (I told you, he has a sleeping problem) and he has to rescue them again. Along with the aforementioned world, he also has to travel through Herbejo Meadow, Koto Swamp, Fantomo Temple, and Bowser Statio- WAIT NO! THIS ISN'T MARIO PARTY 9! UHH.... Soleca! Yeah, Soleca Station. Also, this game adds a whole new bunch of enemies to the table, as well as Lord Durnak, who returns as Space Durnak with new henchmen, so I will tell you about the enemies now.
- Donuts - These sugary foes roll from left to right, accelerating the more they roll. They'll recoil and then start rolling in the other direction upon hitting a wall or another donut.
- Sundaes - These enemies are in love with Dadish for unknown reasons, and will walk aimlessly on the platform it is on or stand still until they see him to which they'll start to chase him, where they can be lured into a stage hazard to defeat them (yes I know I said back in the previous issue that the enemies of the Dadish series cannot be defeated but Sundaes are an exception, as well as an unfortunate Freaky Fries in Soleca Station because of a giant crate crushing it).
- Mustard - Well, actually, they are mustard bottles, but whatever. They will walk on the platform they are on and will occasionally stop to shoot a glob of mustard, and they will do it regardless of whether Dadish is in their line of sight or not, which has even been retroactively called out in Dadish's conversation with one of his kids in their debut level.
- Fried Chicken - No, it's not KFC, it's just generic fried chicken. I'm not the one in charge of Half-Baked Reviews; that's Anton's job, and also they are buckets of fried chicken, but whatever again. Just like most enemies, they'll walk on the platform they are on, but will occasionally stop and start to shake to launch two chicken legs on both sides of it. The chicken legs don't bounce, don't go very far, and are destroyed upon hitting the ground.
- Chocolate Bars - These enemies are the wrapper, but we are going to ignore that. Just like Not Hot Dogs, they are situated in one spot and don't move, and will attack by launching their chocolate bar out of the wrapper when Dadish gets close, then the chocolate bar will slowly float back into the wrapper.
With all of these mechanics combined, Dadish 2 makes a fantastic sequel to one of the most underrated video game trilogies ever.
Annoying Atrium
Just like with Dadish, there is only one thing that bugged me about Dadish 2, and that is the stars, the collectables returning from the first game, and as before, there were some with bad placements, like Koto Swamp level 9. The star is on a previous part of the level, and you have to get the key to make the key blocks disappear, however you need to jump off the crate to go back, because if you don't jump of the crate, well tough luck! You can't go back. And don't even get me started on Fantomo Temple level 9 with its star behind some vines. Which vines, you ask? I don't know, they all look the same! Also doesn't help with the fact that a wall of fire is rising from the bottom, forcing you to be quick.
Decision Dessert Place
Just like with Dadish, 100%ing Dadish 2 is worth every dollar, with funny dialogue, being able to ride on Burgurgular (because why eat food to go faster when you can ride it?), and more mechanics to set it apart. Again, the Dadish trilogy is underrated and must be appreciated more, and stuff like this proves my point! Also, I like how most of the radish children were just talking about barbecue because of the fire.
Conclusion Centre
The reward for getting all the stars in Dadish 2 is being able to play as Fowlst, who is a character made by the same person who made the Dadish Trilogy (Thomas K Young), and he actually controls differently from Dadish. If you tap the left side of the screen he flies to the left, and if you tap the right side of the screen he flies to the right, just like how he controls in his games. Unfortunately, there is nothing else beyond that, no secret levels, no nothing, just another unlockable character to play around with, just like with Dadish. At least he plays differently instead of being a skin swap (looking at you, Dadish).
And that, everyone, marks the end of another amazing tour of the Completion Centre. So I'll see you all again next month for probably my favorite Dadish game ever (albeit with very annoying star placements).
A Look at Mario Enemies Lost to Time
Hello and welcome back to A Look at Mario Enemies Lost to Time, a section where I take a look at forgotten and obscure enemies you don't remember. Over the weekend while bored at work between monotonous cleaning and filling out paperwork, I had time to play through Super Mario Land 2: Six Golden Coins, and guess what? It still holds up! So then I played through the original Super Mario Land, and guess what? It still holds up, even if the jumping was a little weird. And I was kind of blown away by just how much enemy variety the two games have, because they have a lot of unique enemies! So this month we're going to be looking at two enemies, one from Super Mario Land and another from Super Mario Land 2!
Bombshell Koopa
Sarasaland's equivalent of Koopa Troopas, the Bombshell Koopa, also known as Nokobon in the original Super Mario Land manual, serves as Tatanga's Koopa soldier of choice. In behavior, they take after the red-shelled Koopa Troopa in that they don't walk off edges. A single jump from Mario sends them back into their shell, but unlike Koopa Troopas who have shells that you can pick up, Bombshell Koopas activate a nasty trap and instead willingly explode themselves in an attempt to defeat Mario rather than fail their lord Tatanga.
I imagine the reason they explode is because the developers weren't sure that the Game Boy's primitive hardware could handle Mario picking up the shells and running with them like he does in most games, but I think it's a pretty neat gimmick that they're literal suicide jockeys and it makes them stand out in a way that standard turtle enemies like Koopa Troopas and Shellcreepers do not.
Unfortunately, that's really all there is to say about Bombshell Koopas. They're the Koopa Troopas of this game except they'd rather explode than let you kick their shell! Apparently, they're only found in Sarasaland, because outside of a small appearance in a WarioWare Gold microgame, they've never appeared again!
Although while standard Bombshell Koopas never appeared again, a stronger cousin who apparently evolved into a cross between a Koopa Troopa and Buzzy Beetle, the Noko Bombette, does appear in one of the Tree Zone levels. The only real difference between the two outside of design is that, while Bombshell Koopas can be defeated by Superballs from a Superball Flower, Noko Bombettes cannot be defeated by the fireball from a Fire Flower. Other than that, they're basically the same enemy!
So I think Bombshell Koopas could easily come back in literally any kind of Mario game. They could come back in regular form where they've got a cartoonishly black bomb shell and when you jump on them they explode, or they could be something like the Poison Mushroom of the Koopa Tribe. Picture a scenario where you jump on them and grab the shell thinking it's a normal shell, but if you don't get rid of it, BAM! It explodes and you take damage. They could even easily be introduced as an aggressive type of Koopa Troopa in the 3D games who run after you, attempting to blow you up and forcing the player to either jump on them to put them in their shells or to avoid them. Now I don't think they ever will come back, but come on Nintendo, all these ideas are right here for you!!!
Bomubomu
One of the many many, many just absolute weirdo enemies that litter Wario's hypnotized forces in Super Mario Land 2: Six Golden Coins, Bomubomus are piggies that also happen to be living cannons who shoot cannonballs either horizontally or diagonally depending on where Mario is. They come in different colors depending on the stage, with Space Land having light Bomubomus who shoot light cannonballs, Mario Zone's second level having light Bomubomus that shoot dark cannonballs, and finally Mario Zone's final stage having dark Bomubomus that shoot dark cannonballs. Now, these differences don't actually matter because all Bomubomus act identical, but it is a nice bit of flavor for the piggies.
Bomubomus is such a silly enemy and I love it. I mean, why is there a pig that's also a cannon? How would that even work??? It's the kind of creativity that the Mario series was really lacking pre-Super Mario Bros. Wonder, and it's really an underrated aspect of Super Mario Land 2 just how many weirdo enemies are in the game like the Jason-masked Goomba or the umbrella yokai. It's a game brimming with just madness when it comes to enemies, which I really appreciate. And Bomubomu is no exception! It's an adorable little pig that shoots cannonballs; it's very wacky!
Here's the thing. I know on an intellectual level this thing is probably never returning. It makes me sad, but we all have to accept it. After all, between the various Bullet Bills and Bill Blasters and the many things that already shoot cannonballs, there's really no niche that this pig would really cover. But here's the thing! Guy like me? If I were in charge of picking enemies, Bomubomu would make its big comeback! 'Cause you could easily just bring it back in its original form as kind of a fun enemy that shoots cannonballs at the player. It's a fun idea and I think the player could enjoy it and it would work in both the 2D and 3D games without needing any changes. But that's a little boring, and here at The Shroom, we like to think outside the box. So here's my idea for bringing it back. You make it kind of like the Animal Buddies in Donkey Kong, where Mario can jump on one's back in a level and use it to shoot cannonballs at the enemies like the cannonball boxes from Super Mario 3D World, except these are better because it's an adorable cartoon pig! Now I realize this would never happen because Donkey Kong doesn't even really have Animal Buddies anymore, let alone Mario, but I'm just saying Nintendo, people love pigs and my royalty rate is competitively low!
That's all for this month! Join me in two months when I take a look at two more enemies you probably don't remember!!!
Written by: Hypnotoad (talk)
Art by: Kright
The Elder Scrolls: The Official Cookbook - Part 2
This is technically my 100th review!! Instead of doing anything grandiose or extreme, I need something chill for a moment, and what better than Part 2 of something that I already went pretty hard on and still had some more to post about and finish. I really enjoyed this cookbook and, and mostly need to flush this all out before it becomes a full decade of me sitting on these.
Bosmer Bites
With some good lore-friendly text to introduce this Bosmer Bites is a very simple but high-brow appetizer, made with prosciutto, brie, peaches, and finished with a balsamic glaze. Very easy to make, with the only part levying some difficulty here being making the balsamic glaze yourself when there are plenty of premade bottles of it available at any grocery store; even then itâs just a very simple reduction recipe where you just combine the balsamic vinegar, sugar, and a pinch of salt in a pan, bringing it to boil, and stirring it at a simmer for 20 minutes until it becomes thicker and sticky. The balsamic reduction took on the qualities of sugar candy more than I had anticipated and ended up incredibly thick and viscous. It was easy to keep on the bites as it was like a solid gel, but it was tough to get it on in the first place without having tiny threads of it drizzle all over everything, so unless youâre using a specific balsamic vinegar I would suggest just buying a premade glaze bottle for ease of use.
This cookbook has other suggested pairings (apple & cheddar, cantaloupe & burrata, fig & blue cheese), and leaves it open for you to experiment with whatever you feel like using, though all keeping the prosciutto. The fruits I selected were apple, apricot, nectarine; no peaches because I guess they donât exist at all out of season and I was NOT going to wait to do this, and nectarines are quite literally functionally the same. For the cheeses I selected brie, cheddar, mozzarella, and goat, veering away from burrata because even though I like it it would be a sloppy disaster, and blue cheese I just donât like enough to even consider it if itâs not a required option. My favorite combo was apple and goat cheese, as they vibed the best with the prosciutto and I appreciated the firmness of the apple slices, while my least favorite was brie and apricot as the whole thing was way too mushy and earthy and just not pleasurable to put inside my mouth. The balsamic glazes I used were from an aged vinegar from Modena as a basic option, and a flavored amarena cherry balsamic just to see what it would be like, with both having their virtues.
In every variation Iâve had of this specific Bosmer Bites recipe, or any other kind of prosciutto-cheese-fruit skewer, the skewers only make things more unwieldy and irritating to eat, and in several instances painful as the skewer wood splinters if itâs cheap enough. I believe it would be much easier and fair to just have it all as a spread of options to pick and choose as you go, with toothpicks available, or even just create single servings on the toothpicks to be one bite and done.
Itâs difficult to review this recipe by taste because the pieces can be so variable, and each item is their ownâhow can I review a slice of nectarine? I understand and support this as a workable option of Bosmer cuisine, but prosciutto skewers are absolutely nothing new or unique, with dozens upon hundreds of variation recipes available. I appreciate this as a good connection between fantasy and reality in this world building, and serves as an excellent way to showcase whatâs otherwise a high class hors-dâoeuvre instead as a thought game of what Bosmers could actually be eating, though Iâm not quite sure Bosmers could actually eat these in this exact form due to the Green Pact that forbids them from harming or eating any vegetation from the Valenwood. Though the flavor text on the recipe page says that they may eat fruit that has naturally fallen (and have the seeds replanted), they may also not use wood as building materials, so the skewers or toothpicks will need to be made of bone or hand-waved by saying itâs imported. The prosciutto is also problematic, as prosciutto requires a minimum of 14 months of aging, and the Green Pactâs Meat Mandate states meat must be fully consumed within three days after it has fallen. And with brie as the initial pick, are we sure this isnât an appetizer served at a Bretonâs racist Bosmer-themed party? Perhaps food lawyers are very powerful in Valenwood and create loopholes that even Y'ffre canât fuss about.
Stewed Apples and Eidar Cheese
If you find yourself wandering through houses in Whiterun and pilfering many kitchens and dining tables, youâve likely stocked up on and eaten entire wheels of Eidar Cheese. This recipe for Stewed Apples and Eidar Cheese seeks to give you a more refined and civilized way to utilize your Eidar Cheese Wheels. Sweet apples cooked and seasoned with currants, brown sugar, Nord Spices, salt, and vanilla, with some cornstarch to thicken it all into what looks like it could be pie filling. Given what Eidar cheese looks like the recipe calls for crumbled blue cheese as a topping. I made sure this was one of the things I made as it required Nord Spices to be used, and I didnât make it for nothing. The Nord Spices bring cardamom, cinnamon, mace, cloves, and grains of paradise for a warmly spiced fall-winter mix that easily couldâve just been cinnamon in this Stewed Apples and Eidar Cheese recipe, but feels a little special because itâs not just that.
Really easy to make and very hard to mess up, though may still need some generous drifting from the recipeâs timing: the apples are still a bit firm, despite going over the recipe time by 5 minutes to get the glaze to thicken up to how I wanted, but Iâm fine with them still having their apple feel instead of being mushy and soft. It basically tastes like apple pie without the crust as I expected; typically the crust is my favorite part, and while Iâm not really missing it here, itâs good to keep in mind that I can dump a simple streusel on it and be in heaven. As per the flavor text of the recipe pageââIf youâre not a fan of eidar cheeseâs distinct ripeness, try a milder goat cheese crumbleââI tried crumbled goat cheese instead, which worked beautifully alongside the apples and glaze, whose sweetness softened the edges of the standard goat cheese tang and brought it towards something more fresh. I did set some aside to try and be more faithful to the recipe, and chose roquefort as thatâs a blue cheese as visibly close to Eidar as possible. It was...okay. Definitely very fermented, and I donât think it really complemented the apples at all, and instead overpowered them. Where the goat cheese sorta melted and blended in with it, the roquefort just kinda sat there being moldy, likely exactly how I imagine Eidar Cheese would as having any semblance of joy in life is forbidden in the harsh terrain of Skyrim. Going further and getting back to my streusel wishes, I tossed some into some oatmeal slop and it was perfect, like pre-chewed fresh apple pie with the best proportions of dough (well, oats) to apple gunk being 5:1 instead of the other way around. I didnât do anything fancy with the oatmeal, just some water, a splash of milk, a little bit of brown sugar and cinnamon, as I did not want to offset the stewed apples so much as to lose their flavor as they were meant to be the focus.
I absolutely would try this again, and would perhaps use this recipe beyond just being its own side/dessert and going further with using it as a filling or topping. The dried currants are almost completely forgettable aside from providing good visuals, and occasionally shoving a whole spoonful of them in my mouth to amount to the sensation of a raisin or two, so those might get skipped or replaced with something like fresh cranberries. This cookbook does have an Apple Cobbler recipe, with a little more simple apple filling, and I think it might be fun to combine the two parts to make something ultimately better.
Lavender and Honey Bread
This is an excellent example of this cookbook constructing and adding to the fantasy setting, as this Lavender and Honey Bread is not directly pulled from any game, and instead uses the natural flora, fauna, and trade of a specific notable landscape to create something plausibly regional. The area around Whiterun in Skyrim is flush with lavender, and home to Honningbrew Meadery, and the bread recipe uses ingredients simple enough that it could reasonably be something Nords would make. A very standard bread recipe, sweetened further with honey, flavored with culinary lavender, and otherwise uses milk, butter, salt, dry yeast, wheat flour, and all-purpose flour. Culinary lavender may be hard to find in some areas, with an in-book tip stating âculinary lavender can be acquired from alchemists but is more readily purchased at health food stores or onlineâ, which is my experience as well. I purchased my lavender at the time at the bulk ingredients area of a Luckyâs Market basically a month before they all shut down, but I have seen it available in bulk at many Sprouts locations and other small local natural goods markets around the country, as well as bagged versions in local organic stores and even metaphysical shops, so I canât imagine itâs too hard to find if you have the determination for it.
The most pleasant aspect of this is it made my entire apartment smell like a bowl of fruity cereal. The bread is very heavy and filling, which is likely a consequence of using wheat flour rather than all-purpose white. Less like traditional sandwich bread which uses more yeast and water instead of milk, almost approaching pound cake with how dense and crumbly it is. Thereâs a subtle warm sweetness from the honey, but overall the majority of the experience is in the smell. I think maybe heating the milk mixture up with the lavender in it would help infuse more flavor, or maybe even a lavender oat/cashew milk instead, but Iâm not personally signing off on that as Iâm not sure what else it would do with the chemistry of the recipe. It's very filling, though a bit dry and not much flavor on its own, but I spread violet fig jam on it and it became perfect. Most certainly not a dessert bread to eat on its own, but to utilize as toast or to share with coffee or tea, a complement. Simple recipe that does what it gives, and has ample room to play with.
Oatmeal Raisin Shortbread
These have all the butter, sugar, and flour required to be shortbread, but also adds in a significant amount of rolled oats, raisins, and Nord Spices (ground cardamom, cinnamon, mace, cloves, and grains of paradise), along with a honey-sweetened icing. This is a relatively simple recipe reshaping the traditional Norwegian havrekjeks into something lore-friendly.
Pretty dense and filling, almost like a meal bar due to the oats, and tastes like an autumnal potpourri due to the Nord spices. I made them as little tiny bitesize bars and they expanded to like twice their size, forming intimidating cookies. Softer and chewier than I expected, but the raisins were much more so, and were easily noticeable within the cookie, probably too much. I did not get the typical buttery flavor and typical crumble Iâm familiar with other traditional shortbread cookies, but I would not say these tasted bad or were a failure, just that they are technically a form of shortbread and not the Scottish or English styles I expectedâlive and learn. The icing really helps mask the gritty dryness of the oats, but I absolutely did not follow the recipe for that, adding in probably 8x more powdered sugar and a lot more honey than the book because it just never looked or functioned properly.
I feel like I messed up somewhere in the recipe as the example image in the cookbook has traditionally flat shortbread cookies, and while Iâm aware that the lack of leavening agents and high fat content that makes shortbread âshortâ and crumbly doesnât exactly guarantee flattened forms, it just felt wrong to look at. I want to reinforce that I followed the recipe exactly (except for the icing which has no bearing), so Iâm not sure what went wrong or what was different between mine and the cookbookâs example image; overmixing is my only solid guess, but the instructions said to mix âuntil you have a consistency just shy of too crumblyâ and thatâs exactly what I did. I think I just personally prefer my shortbread to have no bells and whistles, and my oatmeal raisin cookies to be chewy, and this recipe sat squarely in the middle where I donât think I would ever be satisfied.
Honey Pudding
This is really nothing more special than the most standard homemade pudding recipe with maybe a few proportions tweaked within reason and a large amount of honey dumped into it instead of sugar. Whole milk, vanilla, honey, heavy/whipping cream, cornstarch, egg yolks, and salt, well-stocked pantry basics that make this a simple dessert option.
As did all homemade puddings of my childhood, this got chunky very fast, but feels very smooth and creamy, so long as you manage your temperatures and stirring consistency and remember to sieve it properly. Wonderful milky taste; whole milk is a great option for this, and honestly I would try using any kind of pasteurized non-homogenized milk to see how much of a fresh farm dairy taste you can still get from it. The flavor text says that âdifferent varieties of honey will each give a slightly different flavorâ, and I understand the base concept of this but I find it hard to be a worthwhile expense. The honey flavor is incredibly mild, almost imperceptible beyond me willing it into existence while keeping in mind just how expensive large amounts of honey can be. I did use Costcoâs Kirkland Signature Wildflower Honey because it comes in an economy-friendly 5-pound container, easily the sole option here when going through multiple recipes in this cookbook at once given how nearly all of them use a significant amount of honey. Maybe if Iâm doing a one-off recipe in the future Iâll flex some different honeys Iâve collected.
That all being said, this tastes like Cinnamon Toast Crunch milk, which is odd because thereâs no cinnamon in here despite the cookbookâs example image showing some sprinkled on top. Actually adding cinnamon does give it another dimension of flavor, and reveals that the original is pretty boring on its own. This has a nice warm sweetness that can embrace warm spices easily, like the pumpkin spices (cinnamon, nutmeg, allspice), and further suggestions in the picture have me agreeing that blackberries would be fantastic with this, maybe some raspberries, peaches, pomegranate arils. The flavor text says âOriginally a Khajiit dish, this pudding has evolved without the moonsugarâ, which I am to assume the honey now serves as the moonsugar replacement, but with this own cookbookâs Skooma recipe utilizing apricots and cardamom for its flavor I wouldâve thought something a little more offbeat like that. All of these ideas Iâm having feel nice and cozy, but ultimately this makes a lot of dishes for whatâs effectively some goop, and Iâm not sure when Iâll ever be in the mood for that.
Canis Root Tea
As a suggested pairing for the Honey Pudding, I felt obligated to make the Canis Root Tea to make these efforts a bit more worthwhile. I mostly saw this as a little challenge as the primary ingredients to flavor this tea are dried dandelion root and dried burdock root. Real teaheads out there might be familiar with dandelion and burdock root, maybe those are common to them, but the furthest Iâve ever gone out is ready-to-drink matcha and have otherwise stayed with standard black tea. I ended up finding each of these easily at a local Spice & Tea Exchange which you can find in basically any affluent tourist main street across the United States where you can overpay for something you can just as easily get at many natural goods or pan-asian food stores. The recipe is as simple as toasting some of the dandelion and burdock roots in a pan until fragrant, then adding water and a cinnamon stick for 15 minutes before filtering and serving. While I donât think you can craft a paralysis potion like you can with genuine Canis Root, purported benefits are all about reducing all kinds of esoteric inflammation, which could be just as fantastical.
Smells kinda unpleasant, but not bad. Very familiar but the only thing I can think of is eating ground beef inside a Home Depot, and I wouldnât really call that familiar. A little bitter, a little nutty, a little like sipping puddle water that some twigs were in, but it doesnât have as strong of a flavor as the smell set my expectations at as the cinnamon stick given in the recipe to simmer with in the water is really the only thing I can isolate. After it has cooled down a bit it smells a lot more potent, and only really has a background of cinnamon where it now tastes a bit more like mushroom dirt. While I understand that more hardcore tea (and coffee) drinkers donât adulterate their personality-forming beverage of choice, I absolutely do, and luckily this cookbook has enough free thinking to include in the recipe to add cream and brown sugar to taste. A little milk and sugar typically go a long way to add some welcome creaminess and wash away some of the more astringent and bitter notes; with this, they certainly give it more weight and fill than just brown water on its own, but really donât do much else aside from cooling it down. This may be because itâs brown sugar rather than pure cane sugar, bringing more of a caramel taste that stays within profile.
As the book recommends, it does go well with the Oatmeal Raisin Shortbreads, as the flavor profiles are similar, and dipping the cookie in the tea neutralizes the crumbly dryness that was otherwise a negative. Not a refreshing tea, but more of a hearty one that I can imagine myself sitting in a chair by a fire while Iâm enchanting some staves and casting social media spells.
Imperial Mulled Wine
As basically the only recipe using the Imperial Seasoning (marjoram, savory, coriander, white pepper), I just absolutely had to make this as it was the only one that really sounded worth my time to me out of the five given. Along with these spices the ingredients also include a cinnamon stick, one bay leaf, and sugar to taste, all simmered in white wine before straining. The recipe does not specify which white wine to use, which either poses problems or opportunity given how much variety there can be between dry and sweet, so I used a cheap Chardonnay that I had sitting around.
It feels weird just warming up a bunch of wine, but thatâs all this really is, just an extremely simple but popular traditional recipe. Unfortunately, I canât say that the spices really did much. Maybe this is relative to the impact of the spices in other drinks, like the Water of Life and Canis Root Tea, but it was very subdued, and after some pondering, Iâll shape that comment as a positive. It emphasized the flavors already in the wine itself, like green apple tones, that werenât fully there on their own; while I credit that more to heating up the wine in general and not any of the spices put in, it was certainly something to do. I think if I were to mull any wine next time I would just be using a red wine to begin with, but if forced to use white wine I would involve more fruit, particularly the classic orange peels, and just attempt to make it brighter. I suppose thatâs what the marjoram and sugar were supposed to do, but it just didnât happen. I enjoyed this together with the Stewed Apples and had a good time, and thatâs really all you can ask for with a mulled wine.
Water of Life
Despite being the last recipe in the book, this was the first one I made because it looked absolutely terrifying to my family which inspired me to make it immediately and force them to try it. Plus, the recipe process seemed tremendously easy: toast 2 teaspoons each of fennel and caraway seeds, then add it to 4 cups of vodka, 1 tablespoon of juniper berries, and a sprig of dill, to let it all then steep for 2-3 days or however long youâd like for however potent youâd want. This recipe doesnât really have a 1:1 version in any Elder Scrolls game or lore, only one quest item with a similar name and a single-use power. Instead this is some good real world connection to Skyrimâs Nordic feel, being a homemade analog of aquavit/akvavit, translated literally as âwater of lifeâ, a Norwegian distilled spirit spiced with (at minimum) caraway and dill, but also fennel and juniper.
The hardest part was finding the fennel and caraway seeds in a small enough quantity to make it not a waste of money, as I didnât want to keep a stockpile of ingredients that I really wouldnât use for anything else (and can confirm 6 years later that I was correct in that assumption). I spent only 77 cents total at Earth Fare in their bulk herbs section, which required me to face down plenty of herbal pseudoscience and essential oils since the regular bulk section only had candy, rice, flour, and nonsense like blue agave, and the spices section was just enormous bags in quantities way too much for what Iâd ever need. Shockingly, I could not find juniper berries anywhere despite how so many sources said itâs such a common and easy find, so I swapped it out with rosemary sprigs, though I suppose I couldâve just added a splash of basic gin. I steeped this in my fridge in two separate bottles that I had laying around, as I did not have anything larger, and I can heartily credit this cookbook for spurring me to now have a vast collection of glass bottles to steep, age, and store liquids in. After the requisite three days the liquid became very noticeably brown, retaining the color after the spices were strained and filtered out.
My brother said itâs âNOT goodâ and gave âit tastes like seeds...and vodkaâ as his reasoning. Well, he is correct, it is seeds and vodka. It smells like a freshly bleached wooden floor, and is overall very strong. It feels very smooth, which may be some credit towards the vodka I chose, but something with the spices steeped in it made the whole experience as easy as it could be beyond the taste. I can see why this may be given as medicinal, as I can feel that my throat is clear and has what mimics a minty sensation. I had a canker sore at the time I drank this and the liquid flowed over it; I winced, anticipating utter torment and agony, and while it did sting for like a second, it washed all the pain from it and felt like it hastened healing and recovery. Aside from all my underhanded compliments, this was mostly undrinkable and I ended up neglecting what I had left in the fridge until I had to make space for more milk and tea and just dumped it. Iâm just not that big on the taste of fennel, and it was much more potent than I could tolerate.
After asking a Finnish friend his thoughts on Akvavit, he magically produced a bottle and independently shared similar thoughts I had: pretty herby, but gentle, masking a lot of the alcohol burn while a lot of the flavor comes out in the aftertaste. Akvavit also tends to be aged in wooden casks, which imbues different subtleties and flavors that I just would never get without tweaking this Water of Life recipe significantly, which I will heed as I tentatively accept the challenge of trying a genuine bottle. I noticed that several retail versions of akvavit include lemon peel, or lemon in some form, and I feel that wouldâve really helped brighten the flavor of the Water of Life a little more, and pull away from the bitter earthy licorice tones a bit. The cookbookâs flavor text for this angled it as a cure-all, when akvavit tends to be served more as a digestif or with seafood, and I think if I went into it with that angle I mightâve had a little better experience.
Quick Meads
One of the strangest and most challenging additions to this cookbook is a series of mead recipes. Not only are they just flavoring ideas, but a complete mead-making and fermenting process that doesnât even approach halfway on the cookbookâs internal difficulty levels. Iâm actually a little baffled at how easy and beginner-friendly most of these recipes are, and then suddenly this appears acting as if just anyone has a homebrew setup and the experienced and skilled knowledge to achieve these. This is actually quite ballsy and fun to get into, so I respect it; going through a new cookbook to learn from it should have you encountering new things and fun trials to overcome, and I guess turning my closet into a fermentation space is it. This cookbook offers four different mead flavors: Honningbrew (lavender, apple, ginger), Black-Briar (blackberry, rosehip, clove, cinnamon), Juniper Berry (juniper, yarrow, hibiscus), and Nord (cardamom, ginger, clove, orange, cinnamon). I only made the first three, opting to skip Nord Mead because of a variety of reasons including its similarity to others, but mostly eventual frustration in the process causing me to call it quits, but not without a newly found respect for the craft.
The basic recipe, to produce a half gallon, requires 2 cups of honey, 6-8 cups spring water, and one packet of ale yeast (about Âź ounce). You also need a half-gallon carboy (glass jug), a brewing airlock, and then enough sense to research how to properly use them as there are no instructions given beyond the recipe itself. I scaled up these recipes because I had larger containers, either doubling or tripling it. Not that it requires a genius, but there are hundreds of yeasts to choose from, and thorough sanitizing will be needed for some basic health safety as well as protecting the flavors and accuracy. Simply washing the parts isnât going to cut it, as youâll need to guarantee all equipment is fully sanitized; Iâd actually recommend following a blog like this, or hunting down a forum where you can follow steps to properly brew a mead without killing yourself in one of the dozen possible ways. Otherwise, once you get all of this prep set up, it does read fairly easy: dump the honey into the jug, boil most of your water and dump that in, swirl to dissolve, dump whatever else you want in, dump the remaining cool water, and dump the yeast in once it has cooled to room temperature. Pop on the airlock and wait several weeks or months. I did what I could with very simple equipment and absolutely no experience, achieving mixed results.
The Honningbrew Mead is suggested to let it age longer, so it was the first one I set up so I could then have the others come to a proper age around the same time. It also had the simplest ingredients to manage which left less room to screw it up. As expected, ginger came through the most in the flavor, with the apples and lavender hardly being noticeable outside of being something that tempered the sweetness of the honey. Adequately fizzy, a little on the dry side, but my biggest takeaway is that it tastes like chewing on a wet wipe specifically from Golden Corral. The Juniper Mead was in about the same boat; subtle flavor, but I could taste the slight licorice tones of the yarrow that blended well with the floral tastes, though it had no carbonation at all which wouldâve had me convinced no fermentation took place had I not witnessed it bubbling quite well before.
Of course, though, as it would be, the Black-Briar Mead posed many problems. I was just not that impressed with it, which alarmed me because I love blackberry and the addition of cloves, roseships, and cinnamon felt like itâd create a stronger autumnal flavoring. The whole batch wasn't nearly as fruity or sweet as I was anticipating, and instead tasted like just yeast, perhaps speaking of the lower quality of Black-Briar products. If I had more experience I couldâve been able to figure out if it mightâve needed more time fermenting, maybe couldâve used more blackberries or even just straight up sugar to bring up some sweetness and feed the yeast, or maybe made it in smaller batches in case that yeast packet was dead or bad. After chilling it the blackberry flavor kinda got pulled forward some, or the yeast flavor just settled to the bottom, but it still tasted wrong. As I made a huge gallon jug of it, I didnât want this to be a loss, so I tinkered with it. I added some of my leftover Ribena just to get it out of my fridge as itâs been in there for months, as well as a questionable amount of sugar, and then some lemon juice to brighten it up. I wouldnât say it made the mead a delicious chuggable concoction, but it made it passable and workable! I can now sip it without wincing and feeling pure liquefied regret, but it made me realize I was in a bit over my head and itâs time to move on to less involved recipes.
Maybe I will give these mead recipes another try with Weasel moving in with me, as heâs a huge mead fan, as well as it being a fun bonding project. I have a good 6 years of experience making things and maturing now that I couldâve used back then, as well as significantly more money and connections, so prospects look very well for future attempts being successful. The allure of just buying prepared meads does exist, as adding flavors after fermentation is definitely an option and perhaps more beginner-friendly, and that may be what I dabble in in the future. Just buying ready-made cans and bottles is likely safer and will taste better thanks to plenty of regulations and the simple fact of market value proof, but we all love a good DIY project that runs the significant risk of personal danger.
Thereâs still quite a few recipes that I have tried already, and more that Iâd like to try, most of them a bit more involved like the Baked White River Salmon, Sheogorathâs Strawberry Tarts, Horker Load, Potage le Magnifique, etc., and I think Iâd like to save those for personal use. Iâve spent enough time detailing this cookbook to signify that itâs good quality and that the recipesâwhile simpleâcan be adjusted easily, and I need to get into a better habit of making and enjoying food for myself and not primarily for reviews.
| The 'Shroom: Issue 219 | |
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