The 'Shroom:Issue 218/Critic Corner
Director's Notes
Welcome to May, certainly one of the many months in a year! Which kind of month is it for you? Probably one of them! For me it's a month of chaos and rebirth, refreshing life in aspects physical and ethereal, but mostly it's a month where I've probably gotten about 20 hours of sleep total so far with not much more in sight. During sleepless times like this, why not brighten, dull, enrich, validate your senses with a while bunch of reviews?
Thank you for voting Half-Baked Reviews as April's Critic Corner Section(s) of the Month!! Be sure to give your love to all of our sections here, and give a shout out to our writers whether in chat or in their forum threads dedicated to their sections. Be sure to vote vote vote!
And now for my regular announcements: We've decided to implement in Critic Corner something similar to News Flush over in Fake News, where no formal sign-up application process is required for one-time or limited sections. From now on if you just want to send in a single review for something you just read, watched played, tried, whatever, you just have to send me your review privately either to me directly in chat, or in a message to me on the forum at least one week before each 'Shroom is to be released! There's no commitment or obligation to provide a full monthly section (although you absolutely can shift it into one if you so choose), just send us your thoughts on a thing and we'll feature it here! If you have any questions or curiosities about this, please feel free to ask!
As always, if you would like to help Critic Corner, we always have openings for more writers! You are free to write for sections such as Character Review and Movie Review, or really anything you'd like to do! There's no pressure to have a huge section; they can be shorter and concise! The application process is very simple, starting with reading the Sign Up page, and sending your application to Meta Knight on the forum. Any idea you have is welcome, and if you have any questions or need help signing up, please feel free to reach out to myself or other 'Shroom peeps!
Section of the Month
| CRITIC CORNER SECTION OF THE MONTH | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Place | Section | Votes | % | Writer |
| 1st | Anton's Half-Baked Reviews | 11 | 47.83% | Hypnotoad (talk) |
| 2nd | A Look at Mario Enemies Lost to Time | 6 | 26.09% | Shoey (talk) |
| 3rd | Elemental Enemies | 3 | 13.04% | Boo1268 (talk) |
'Shroom FM
⚠️ ALERT: It's 'Shroom FM time.
Erika de Casier - Lifetime ⭐
I love the atmosphere here - very well-crafted consistent throughout. Both Lifetime and the songs within it are relatively short - it's 30 minutes long and manages to pack 12 songs into that runtime - but there's so much charm to every song here, and many little elements that add so much depth to this; that escalating synth stab on "Seasons", or the scratch in "Delusional" or the beeping and phone noises in "The Chase". Very effectively evokes the same feel as late 90s/early 00s downtempo trip hop, with its intricate percussion, and ethereal synths. De Casier's vocal performance is gorgeous too, very smooth yet also versatile and expressive. This just really comes together in a fantastic way, really enriching and rewarding to sink into.
Jane Remover - Revengeseekerz
Admittedly I haven't been keeping up with Jane Remover - the only album of theirs I've listened to is dariacore 3 which I reviewed a few years ago and I didn't like. It's clear their style has evolved beyond that now, and Revengeseekerz feels much more focused. The production is excellent throughout, with some inventive sampling - that Palkia cry is twisted around in so many different ways and places that it's practically an instrument in itself. The atmosphere is suitably chaotic and noisy, a cool range of effects and chopped up sounds, and importantly when it bangs, it really bangs. I really liked "Psychoboost", which is very heavy and energetic, and dials it way up when the beat kicks in, with a great feature from Danny Brown too; and "Experimental Skin", which starts off kind of slow but builds up to a fantastic final minute. Unfortunately I think this does lack a bit in terms of innovation - to bring that dariacore album back up, while that did feel much rougher than this, the style still felt really novel at the time and this doesn't feel as fresh. Outside of those two songs I'd already mentioned (plus "TURN UP OR DIE" and "Professional Vengeance" which are also great), the rest didn't feel like they were bringing anything new to the table for me - either in the context of what had already been and gone on the album, and the digicore genre itself. I also wasn't a fan of the vocal style here I'm afraid - largely for the same reason as the Oklou album from a few months ago, this kind of hyperpop-inspired style with all the artificial-sounding vocal effects and breathiness... something about the way notes get held which really annoys me but I can't put into words. My feelings on this are a bit mixed, but the highlights here are fantastic and well worth coming back to, definitely the best stuff I've heard from Jane Remover so far.
Los Thuthanaka - Los Thuthanaka
Very cool stuff - blends together traditional Andean music and other South American styles with noisy digital and electronic sounds, and ends up with this surreal, overwhelming soundscape. The opener "Q’iwanakax-Q’iwsanakax Utjxiwa" throws you right in with little warning - it's a collage of piercing electronic sounds, echoing vocal samples, distorted drums and crashes, paired with a more structured, laid-back guitar line. It should be total chaos, and it is, but it also feels very ambient and almost comforting. It's followed by "Jallalla Ayllu Pahaza Marka Qalaqutu Pakaxa", which is chaotic in a different way - much faster with an anxious, haphazard synth line and a thudding drum line centred, though gets a little repetitive. The first two tracks establish the vibe well, but it's from the third track "Huayño (Ipi Saxra)" onwards that I was really impressed; the vocal samples on that one - "Y-Y-Y-Y-YO!", "HUHHHHH", "G-G-GO!" - are a lot of fun. There's a ton of creative stuff going on here, and the times where it feels unbelievably loud and in-your-face are when it's at its most immersive and cathartic. Really hard to think of anything else I've listened to that sounds like this. That said, I was a bit disappointed by the end of the album; the penultimate track "Parrandita (Sariri Tunupa)" is incredible and cinematic, and would have made a perfect finish to the album - but for some reason there's another song after it, "Salay" - which is not at all bad, but pretty standard fare as far as this album goes, and definitely loses some of the energy. Still, though, it's a really striking and unique listen.
Viagra Boys - viagr aboys
Since I last listened to them a few years ago, Viagra Boys have definitely put in the work to make their voice stand out; the lyrics are funny – sardonic, surreal, sometimes very ‘online’ but enough lighter silly moments not to alienate people who aren't. Frontman Sebastian Murphy has a great energy for it – not over-the-top despite the silliness, not lethargic despite the tone, and really effortlessly strikes the balance between spoken word and sung vocals in a way so many of these bands don't. So that’s all good. The real challenge then is for the music itself to be interesting enough to accommodate that... and it is not. The first few songs are catchy enough but it all just fades into the background very quickly, which is a shame. I didn’t hold much ire towards it until the final track. Every one of these tongue-in-cheek, jokey bands feels the need to slow it down and make a tender, serious ballad, and every single time that happens it absolutely sucks. Sorry Viagra Boys, see you in 2028 or whenever.
Elemental Enemies
Written by: Boo1268
Hello there, readers of The ‘Shroom. It is I, Boo1268 the Fancy Phantom, back here again with another edition of Elemental Enemies, where I look into the variety of big bads featured in Skylanders: Trap Team and see how these respective villains fit their types. This time, we'll be looking into the second elemental trap featured in the starter pack, the water element.
(If you want to get to the explanations then please skip ahead, but to those who are new, let me give some context):
In Skylanders: Trap Team, the main gimmick was that using a special crystal insert and the respective crystal element, you could capture some of the villains of the game and play as them for a short period of time, and in the game, certain villains could only be captured with a trap of their element. So, being inspired by Lockston & Gnoggin’s Pokemon Type Explained videos, I am to answer the question of how some of the villains fit into their respective element.
Now how this works is that we will be looking into what makes each villain their respective type. Things such as design, abilities, villain quests, lore, personality, etc. Each villain won’t go in any sort of order, but it tends to be that villains that most suit their type and have the most detailed explanation are at the top, and the villains that are the least connected, or more rather should NOT be connected (if specifically stated), go at the bottom. But now, with that out of the way, join me as I try my best to explain my reasonings.
And so for the water element, we have…
The Gulper: The Gulper is a giant slug that leaves behind a watery trail of ooze whenever he does a specific attack. Alongside this, he also has a trident he can use, and since tridents are most commonly related to beings such as mermaids or Atlantean creatures, this would be a good comparison. Plus, one final thing. The Gulper in the game drinks soda so much so that it allows him to grow to enormous size, and since soda is a liquid, this counts.
Brawl-n-Chain: He is a pirate walrus that uses bladed hook hands attached to chains to attack with, and since walruses are normally seafaring creatures, plus the pirate aesthetic and his pirate-like hook hands, he definitely fits the bill.
Chill Bill: This cool troll is calm, collected, and cool. Plus the fact that he also uses a freeze ray helps his case as being perfect for the water element, especially since he aims to freeze his competition.
Slobber Trap: This dirty dog is more inclined to be an earth villain or life villain, but for some reason, he's a water villain, and I guess you could make the case that since in his gameplay he has a drooling attack and slobbers all over the place, he could get a pass, but that's really all that connects him.
Cross Crow: And now we get to the villains that least fit their element, and on another note, if I had a nickel for every time a bird villain was in one of its incorrect elements and should have been an air villain, I would have two nickels, which isn't a lot but it's weird it happened twice right? But at the very least, Cross Crow’s arrows have a slight water effect when he launches them, but other than that I got nothing.
Threat Pack: This guy is the villain that should LEAST be in the water element. Not only does he use a mechanical jetpack that fires homing missiles, not only in the game’s lore is he a scientist, and not only can he also fly with his jet pack, BUT he is also a mechanic. So WHY pray tell is he a water villain?
Well, that's it for the water element, and since we just recently talked about technology, how about we cover the second biggest villain group in trap team? The Tech Villains! See you next time portal masters, and as always: Merci, au revoir.
Video Game Review
Written by: Waluigi Time (talk)
A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away (more specifically, E3 2019), the long-anticipated LEGO Star Wars: The Skywalker Saga was revealed to the world. This was a game that I'd been hoping for, even for quite a while before it was announced. By the time I got into Star Wars, the original games were already pretty old, so I wanted a revisit to the original and prequel trilogies with a modern refresh. The Skywalker Saga delivers on that, including all nine of the main films, with The Last Jedi and The Rise of Skywalker being depicted in a LEGO game for the first time. Multiple delays later, the game was finally released in April 2022... but was it worth it?
Gameplay
The gameplay follows the same format as the others in the LEGO series made by TT Games. You run around in the levels, break stuff to get studs (currency) and parts to build things to progress with, solve puzzles, and find collectibles. So, so many collectibles... Other levels will instead put you in a vehicle, either on-rails or with more freedom to explore. If you have an issue with that, this game probably isn't for you. The changes made in The Skywalker Saga are minimal and won't do much to sway the opinion of someone who doesn't like the format or finds it stale. As far as I'm concerned, the core gameplay is still as fun as it ever was, though with how samey it gets from entry to entry, the main draw of each game is obviously the IP.
Each film is split into five levels, for a total of 45. If you're just playing casually, they're pretty breezy. Going for True Jedi status (achieved by collecting a certain number of studs in a level) extends playtime by a lot since you'll be smashing literally everything in sight to get money, assuming you haven't already got some of the stud multiplier extras. Expect to be playing each level at least twice if you're a 100% completionist, since most of them have collectibles you can't get until you come back in Free Play mode, which lets you use all the characters you have unlocked. Full completion this time around also includes a set of three challenges, which are kind of like hidden achievements. I don't really like them much because they don't tell you what the challenges are, so unless you bought hints with studs (or you're looking them up online) you're just going to get them by accident.
Five levels per film is a decrease from six in 2006's LEGO Star Wars: The Complete Saga, though still a greater overall number of levels thanks to the three extra movies. Unfortunately, having so few levels to work with leaves a lot of pivotal moments from the films being relegated entirely to cutscenes (blowing up the Death Star II, for example) or played out between levels in the hub worlds, which usually amounts to walking from point A to point B or slowly following NPCs around. Story progression in the hub worlds can't be replayed at all without starting a new save file, which on one hand is kind of disappointing because so much of the story happens there, but on the other hand, it's not really great gameplay anyway. There's also varying quality between the films, and I'll just say I was really concerned how this game was going to go when I started with The Phantom Menace and all of its levels were either vehicle based or pretty short. Thankfully it got better for the most part.
Speaking of the hub worlds, they're massive, and this is where the bulk of the game's content lies. There's plenty of planets to explore, each with their own set of sidequests and hidden collectibles to find. It's... a lot! Whether that's a good or bad thing is up to personal preference. While I enjoy having lots of content to engage with, I've also never been able to 100% a LEGO game because there's just so much of it and the gameplay doesn't get shaken up too much, so I inevitably get burnt out no matter how much I enjoy the game. It's a lot like the criticism that Super Mario Odyssey has gotten about having so many Power Moons and a lot of them just being the same thing reused multiple times.
The game has hundreds of playable characters in it, so pretty much anyone you can think of from the main films is here, including the ones you would probably only know if you were an avid Visual Dictionary or Wookieepedia reader (unless you are, like me, a Wat Tambor fan). They even stuck some silly non-canon ones in too, like Rebel Friend from the classic games, an "evil" gonk droid, and Darth Vader in a Christmas- sorry, Life Day sweater. A new feature this time around is that each character is split into a class, which determines the base set of abilities they have (e.g. Jedi characters having a lightsaber and force powers). It's a nice little change that makes it easier to find the character you need to solve a puzzle. No need to memorize who has what abilities, just pick any character from that class and you're good to go. There's still some room for variation, for example General Grievous is part of the Villain class but still has his lightsabers. Unfortunately though, the character customizer which has been present in the majority of LEGO games is absent. It's especially disappointing since the previous game, LEGO DC Super-Villains, had the most robust and extensive character customizer in the series to date. Based on developer statements that claimed it was included and some evidence left behind in the final game, it was most likely planned earlier on but scrapped at some point in development.
Performance on the Nintendo Switch version is okay, but has several flaws. Loading times aren't great, I experienced the occasional dropped frame, and the game crashed or got softlocked a few times. Unfortunately, it's all par for the course for LEGO games to be honest, but it's disappointing that they apparently haven't been able to optimize it after so long. I don't know if this is a problem with developing for Nintendo consoles, or if it's like this on all platforms. It's definitely not terrible enough to be anything close to a game-ruining experience, just don't go in expecting something 100% polished.
Presentation
This game is very silly! It's pretty accurate to the source material while having basically no reverence for it, and it's constantly peppering scenes with slapstick and visual gags that play with this being a LEGO setting, including the ones that were supposed to be serious. References to memetic lines like "it's a trap" and "I don't like sand" abound. If you don't want to play a Star Wars game that doesn't take it seriously, this is not for you. Otherwise, if you're up for the barrage of gags, it's a fun ride.
As far as I can tell, this game doesn't have an original soundtrack and instead pulls John Williams' compositions from the Star Wars films. I don't mind since those are some really good soundtracks, and it makes it feel like Star Wars! The visuals are nice too, although I've never been too much of a stickler for graphics, to be honest. As a general rule, anything you can interact with in some way is built out of LEGO bricks, and the rest of the environment has a more realistic design. While it might be cool if the entire world was built with LEGO bricks like The LEGO Movie, I think it's a good distinction to have, especially for kids. Also, I suspect it would take a lot longer to model everything if that was the case!
The vast majority of returning actors from the films provide voice work play minor side characters, with only a handful of the major characters being voiced by the original actors. The rest are handled by stand-ins, including many of the cast members from The Clone Wars. The performances generally range from excellent at best to decent at worst. Kylo Ren kind of stands out as one that's not a great imitation, but I think this was intentional to poke fun at the character? The only performance I don't really like is Boba Fett, who doesn't sound like himself at all and should've just been voiced by Dee Bradley Baker to match Jango and the clone troopers. There's apparently a lot more generic NPCs than available voice actors though, because you hear the same voices a lot (ranging from just recognizable as the same person to no difference in performance at all), including occasional overlap with major characters which feels like a pretty big misstep. But hey, Adam Howden (better known as Shulk from Xenoblade Chronicles) is in it!
Speaking of voice actors, that's been a thing in LEGO games for a long time, but players of the older games might remember when there was no dialogue at all, just little grunts and exclamations with the cutscenes relying heavily on visual comedy. In an attempt to appeal to fans of the older style, this game includes the extra Mumble Mode option, which converts all character dialogue to gibberish. It's an amusing little addition, but I don't think it entirely succeeds in capturing the original vibe because this game was clearly made with dialogue in mind and Mumble Mode as an afterthought. The cutscenes from the original games worked knowing that the characters weren't going to say anything, so they could take full advantage of that particular style. Here, it's basically like if you were watching a movie and decided to mute it and mumble to yourself when the characters would be talking.
DLC
The game has several DLC packs that add additional playable characters from media outside of the main saga like The Clone Wars, Rogue One, and The Mandalorian. There's also a few sillier ones, like characters in beach wear from the LEGO Star Wars Summer Vacation special, or a classic character pack depicting some of the original minifigure designs from 1999-2003. There's not much to say about them, they're all just more characters to play the game with, there's no new abilities or anything like that. Unfortunately, there was no new dialogue recorded for any of these characters, which leaves them feeling half-baked. I would only recommend buying the DLC if you really really like the characters and want to play as them, or if you can find a good discount. One exception though, if you buy The Mandalorian Season 1 DLC then you also get access to the Clone Mode cheat (use the CLONE15 cheat code to unlock it) that lets you play with up to 15 characters at once instead of 2 by selecting The Mandalorian himself and then swapping Grogu out for another character. It's a lot of fun, so I do recommend that one even if you don't buy any other packs.
Unlike some of the previous games, there are no bonus DLC levels, which is pretty forgivable when you remember that the developers already made 45 levels alongside a massive hub world for this game on a tight schedule, which is a lot more than other LEGO games. However, there was a price increase from the previous game, with all of the character packs now costing as much as level packs used to ($2.99 USD). That's still not very expensive, but with 13 packs it can add up if you want them all. (Funny story, I've had a good chunk of this section written for a while and was originally tougher on them here, but these days, complaining about an increase of one dollar for a few funny LEGO guys feels a little petty when we're currently staring down an $80 Mario Kart title.)
For completionists who really want all the DLC, there's thankfully some bundles to save money. The cheapest option is Character Collection 1 & 2, which gets you all the DLC currently available at a discount (and it goes on sale sometimes too). There's also bundles for both waves which are cheaper than buying everything individually. The Deluxe and Galactic Editions also come with some or all of the DLC included with the base game, but these aren't a good deal because the base game can often be found heavily discounted now. Between sales and the bundles, you can potentially grab the base game and all the DLC you want and still spend less money than just buying the base game by itself at full price.
But I have a bone to pick and I'm putting it in this section because it seems like the best place for it. If you buy the digital version of the game, you get a bonus character, a classic minifigure version of Obi-Wan Kenobi. If you buy the physical version, there's no way to unlock this version of Obi-Wan at all, even if you buy the classic character DLC. This is a pretty small thing in the grand scheme of things, it's just a non-canon variant of a character who's already in the game (which is why I still bought the physical version knowing this), but I don't like it. As far as I'm concerned, buying a physical vs. digital copy is entirely a matter of personal preference when the choice is given to you. It almost feels like the developers are punishing players for having the "wrong" preference, since the physical version doesn't have anything exclusive of its own.
Concluding this review, I can only recommend this game situationally. It's a good game and I had fun with it, but if you're not interested in Star Wars, there's not really much of a draw when there's other LEGO games out there that might be more in line with your interests. (If you're really itching to play a LEGO game regardless of the property, I'd be more eager to recommend LEGO DC Super-Villains.) Also, if you're the kind of Star Wars fan who only likes certain trilogies and refuses to engage with content from the ones you don't, you probably won't like this either. While you can play the trilogies in any order in the main story, the hub world is so intertwined that you're going to be missing out on so much of the game's content, including from your preferred films, that I really don't think it's worth it to play in that case. But if you're in that demographic of being a Star Wars fan and at least able to tolerate engaging with all nine films, it's definitely a fun time that I'd recommend picking up.
Completion Centre
Written by: Sentient freedom (talk)
Hello 'Shroom readers, so as you can figure out by now, we people at Critic Corner have been reviewing games that are well-known like Mario, Kirby, Pokémon etc. But that'll change as let me introduce you all to Dadish!
Note: I will be doing all 3 Dadish games in separate issues and will be excluding Dadish 3D and Daily Dadish. This section will be more story and enemy dependent, because again Dadish isn't well-known (yet) along with the version which doesn't have Fungo Cave (because it is exclusive to the Nintendo Switch, which I have now by the way).
Personal Pathway
Now I don't know what was going on, but when I tried to use my tablet to play, it was running very slowly so I had to use Poki (yes I don't have Steam) and it was this year actually. In terms of gameplay, getting 100% was a great balance of easy and hard. The story is simple enough, you play as Dadish, the father of many, many children. One day as he was sleeping (yes he has a sleeping problem), his kids get distracted by a balloon and now he has to rescue all of them going through 4 worlds, which are: Abaro Woods, Strando Beach, Monto Mountain and Kastelo Fortress, on the way he has to overcome various enemies who try to stop him and also Lord Durnak and his henchman. Now here is where things get interesting, because unlike most platforming games, the enemies in Dadish cannot be defeated and must simply be avoided, so I will give you a brief explanation of how these enemies work, and yes, all these enemies are based on fast food.
- Burger Bullies - These cheeseburger foes are simply just discount Red Koopa Troopas. They walk on the platform they are on and will turn upon reaching an edge, with some of them even having springs on their heads.
- Freaky Fries - A red box of French Fries that hop aimlessly on the platform it is on and also turns upon reaching an edge. Some can even be found sleeping (Fun Fact: In older versions of Dadish their behavior was different, all Freaky Fries would be asleep and they would charge at Dadish upon him entering their line of sight.)
- Pizza Punks - The pepperoni pizza foes that jump up and down in a single spot. They have winged variants that fly from one spot to another in a U-shape. (Fun Fact again: Just like Freaky Fries, their behavior was different in that they would jump from one platform to another. That was overhauled and given to Winged Pizza Punks.)
- Not Hot Dogs - These Hot Dog enemies throw rotating bouncing sausages at Dadish that can be passed under with good timing.
- Surly Sodas - Soda can enemies that hiss then explode once Dadish is in their blast radius.
All of those enemies mechanics, combined with the fact that you can't defeat them, makes for a wild and amazing experience and makes Dadish worth playing.
Annoying Atrium
Really, the only truly annoying thing I have to say about Dadish are the stars, which are collectibles hidden in most stages. Most are easy since they are out in the open, like Abaro Woods level 3, and honestly, they also are nowhere near as annoying as Dadish 3, but there are still some ones with awful placements like Kastelo Fortress Level 1. Like seriously, how am I supposed to know that I had to use the balloons to reach an elevated platform that is far away? And you also gotta love how the one in Kastelo Fortress level 8 is at the beginning of the level, forcing you to survive with it because they don't save if you die unlike Super Mario Bros. Wonder.
Decision Dessert Place
Funny how I'm eating cake at the time of writing this, but anyway, 100%ing Dadish is, in my book, something that is worth doing. It's simple, charming, hilarious and not a time waster. And on Nintendo Switch it only goes for $9.99, yeah, very low compared to Mario Kart World's $79.99 (I live in the UK by the way so that cost won't be the case for me).
Conclusion Centre
The reward for 100%ing Dadish (which is getting all the stars) is Possum Mode, which allows you to play as Panic the Possum, who Dadish has met on his journeys, who likes to screech a lot. Just like Kirby Mass Attack, this is an okay reward because playing as formerly non-playable characters is always a win in my book. It could've been way better, but at least you get to screech at bosses now to which they say "Oh my gosh".
And that wraps up another sweet tour of this month's Completion Centre, thanks for stopping by and I will see you next month for Dadish 2. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm now going to try to get the platinum Trophy for Crash Bandicoot 4 on my PS4... *sigh* more trying to get all the crates in N-verted Rush Hour yay.
Yoshi18 Reviews
Hi everyone! Welcome to the second episode of Yoshi18 Reviews! First of all, how is it already May? We're literally almost halfway through the year. It’s unbelievable how fast the time goes! Last week Friday I was at the Switch 2 Experience of Amsterdam and I had a good experience (joke intended). I feel very honored that I was able to be there! Now just before we get to this month's topic; cause there's no new (significant) Mario games (that I've played). I will instead cover another game this time, that’s one of my favorite ones on the 3DS; Tomodachi Life!
The success of Tomodachi Life:
You probably already heard of Tomodachi Life. The most important Mii game. The game everyone was begging to get a sequel in every single Nintendo Switch Direct livechat, until the Direct of March 27th (2025)…when we finally won…we finally got it. Tomodachi Life: Living the Dream!
It’s coming in 2026 and I can't wait! Will we get Tomodachi Life: Living the Dream before GTA 6? Perhaps. But this all probably makes you ask: What makes the game so popular? Like, what makes it good. Today I’ll (try to) be answering that question.
I remember seeing this game once in 2019 and immediately wanting to buy it. I got it in 2020 (just before COVID-19). And to be honest, it's one of the best games I ever played. The game starts off as your Mii being the only islander on your island. The Miis in this game talk with a slightly awkward text-to-speech voice, which is honestly my favorite part. As you get more islanders (Miis), you unlock more things! Like Mii News (if only you could make your own news. But maybe you can in the next game), a supermarket, shops, etc. While all of this is happening, the Miis also start to get more interactive. You'll see them in other places than just their rooms in the Mii Apartments or they'll meet up with friends (though sometimes that doesn't really end well). And then, one day the love will start between 2 Miis and after you did everything right in the game, the child is born and you send it off as a traveller. You completed the game (though you can also decide for the child to stay at your island, like I did, when that child has too much sentimental value to you). This is truly it. This is the charm of Tomodachi Life! I still can't wait for the new game and expect me to make a review about it (and a preview in Yoshi18 Previews in Pipe Plaza. Since Nintendo now sees Tomodachi Life as a full-on, I hope for many more games to come!
Thanks for reading the second episode of Yoshi18 Reviews! It sure took me some time to write this and know what to exactly say, but hey, I made it! So thanks for reading and as always; stay safe!
A Golden Sun Review Finale
Written by: Paper Plumm (talk)
Hello yello! Life am I right? I recently made a few major decisions that have caused my busyness to have gone from 0 to 60 in very little time. I'll obviously touch on this a bit more in the conclusion, but for now let's finish off Golden Sun strong, and cover this game's music and worlds. Hope you enjoy!
Weyard is nothing short of an immaculate world to explore. Every corner is filled with new dungeons and towns to explore, and in its sequel, whole oceans to explore. I'll spare you the details of everywhere because this place is vast, but I'll share some highlights with you.
Vale is the perfect place to start, the place feels warm as all good hero's hometowns should feel. It's pretty expansive, especially in comparison to the other villages of the world, making it feel like more of a community than any village. And while there is that sense of warmness, it feels as if the area is stuck in the past, unable to get over the events of six years past. An interesting dual case is GS' most prosperous towns of Kalay and Tolbi. Kalay is shown to be a prosperous and happy town for those living there and this idea is one mainly stemming from the kind rule of Hammet. Indeed, it's largely the only town free of major conflict, and no doubt this pattern continues this course once the game ends. Tolbi however, while prosperous, is ruled by an authoritarian ruler which results in there being a sense of anxiety underneath the surface. While I do like Golden Sun's towns, there's a lack of distinction between a lot of the towns. Thankfully, Lost Age massively improves on this with far more varied landscapes.
Alhafra is a unique area in The Lost Age. Despite not really being seen as such in-game, it is one of the largest settlements of the duology, second only to Tolbi. The town feels lively but also very miserable. This is in large part due to the machinations of the town's leader's corrupt nature and contrasts the general popularity of Tolbi and Kalay's leaders. The town overall serves as a representation in a decline in good leaders for the people and instead ones focusing entirely on economic progress, even at the cost of those living under their rule. Yallam is a perfect encapsulation of the word melancholy. It's a town that has lost all hope of survival and will slowly die out regardless of player actions. It's haunted by its past glory and its traditions serve to try to continue to glorify that past, even as it no longer is viable. However, it is nothing compared to Prox. Prox in a word is desperate, it desperately needs to climb out of a hole that will not only cause its decline but the complete destruction of its life. It's one of the areas with the biggest story importance, not because its people are villains, but simply because they were desperate and had the power to stop it.
Golden Sun is incredibly effective at crafting believable and interesting towns. Ones with their own history, cultures and atmospheres, an incredible feat considering the 22 towns the game creates. Golden Sun's dungeons are on a whole other level though…
Starting off with a bang is Sol Sanctum. Sol Sanctum establishes a unique first setting for a dungeon while also setting up and teaching the basics of puzzle solving in the game. It's simple but incredibly effective. The game's final dungeon is its exact opposite, being a highly ambitious three-part dungeon. The first area, Babi lighthouse, serves to build and set up Saturos and Menardi as greater threats, as well as showcase the destruction of Babi's plans through his still under construction tower and the suffering the workers face. Tunnel Ruins builds anticipation for the finale proper and also features a unique branching path feature. This feature gives way to differing but equally challenging paths that help encourage a risk/reward system where people would risk doing another more challenging route, for the hopes of a better reward in the end. The area ends off with a clever statue puzzle that uses the mind read psynergy in a unique way. Venus Lighthouse is iconic for a reason, with its clever sand and conduit puzzles the lighthouse successfully ends off Golden Sun on a high note.
Airs Rock from The Lost Age is my only dungeon I outright dislike. Imagine, just as you've really started to get into The Lost Age, a grueling six hour experience that's longer than some of the final dungeons shows up. This dungeon completely shatters the game's previously excellent pacing and forces you to face Golden Sun's longest dungeon. The dungeon features two different equally complicated sections, that are required to beat before you actually enter the dungeon. In addition, this is one of the biggest instances where a class reliant psynergy was used, making a constant shuffling of Djinn every time a puzzle appeared a tedious necessity. While the area does frustrate me, it provides one of the most valuable psynergy in the game, (second only to mind read) Reveal, which when considering its usefulness, the rock can seem a somewhat reasonable price to pay. To contrast my frustrations, let's talk about my favourite Golden Sun dungeon, Tundaria Tower. Firstly, it provides such a cool aesthetic, this solitary tower completely isolated in the game's equivalent to Antarctica. The tower itself uses one of the rare times I liked sliding ice puzzles, mainly thanks to the usage of psynergy for many of the puzzles. While it's nothing complicated, its short and sweet nature as well as its amazing aesthetic and atmosphere makes it a favourite to go back to.
While Golden Sun's dungeons can get tedious in some points, for the most part they are incredibly atmospheric and feature exceptional puzzle design. A rare section of which I have no real complaints.
Golden Sun also features a wide range of music that pushes the GBA to its limits. A few of my favourites include:
- On That Night, 3 Years Ago… The bass in this piece just permeates your soul and immediately lets you know, something bad is happening. The entire piece keeps this almost lackadaisical and aloof melody that constantly is drowned away by the bass' flood. It almost feels like a siren trying to warn what is happening but it gets drowned out by the bassy chaos of the night.
- In the Presence of a Lord. The piece manages to evoke both this feeling of both power and somberness, a perfect piece for an intimidating person on their last legs like Babi.
- The Linked Battle Theme. This theme has these gorgeous arpeggios swelling up and down against this bouncy and upbeat melody. It's just the versus battle theme so I can't really connect it to anything, but it's really catchy.
- Jenna's Battle Theme. A woefully underrated piece about Golden Sun's best girl. This piece captures Jenna's adventurous spirit as well as her strong determination. It's a shame you're not likely to hear it.
- Doom Dragon Battle Theme. What a piece. This piece is all over, frantic, slow, swung, straight, intense, and yet somehow, the piece manages to establish a solid call and response pattern that keeps it just consistent enough to where you can still keep focus. The perfect frantic song for such a frantic final fight.
Golden Sun has a wide variety of complex and catchy songs that fit perfectly with their scenes. Granted, music has always been an aspect I'm easily pleased by.
Overall, Golden Sun is a mixed bag. It has a story that often feels too hand holdy, even if it is partially intentional. Its cast is largely unremarkable and it has a battle system that feels over reliant on its Djinn system, yet it crafts exceptional dungeon design, showstopping fight visuals, and stellar music. So to answer the answer I set out to answer, is it a good RPG or is it just a good GBA game? I'm unfortunately inclined to say it is because of its GBA status. The game is certainly a good game mind you, but it's not one that necessarily holds up well to modern standards. However, if you're able to look past its flaws, you'll have a pretty alright time.
Welp, I guess it's time to break the ice. I've recently made a major decision in my life to move out of my home country due to a variety of a factors, and this choice has caused me to lose a lot of the free time I once had in order to make it possible. I intend to be back to write reviews again, but I hope you understand that my hiatus will be a bit longer in order to focus on the process. Thank you for all the support I've gotten over a ¾ year I've done this. It means the world to me. I hope your May brings you lots of flowers and as always, drive safely.
Book Review
| When the Moon Hits Your Eye | |
|---|---|
| |
| Author | John Scalzi |
| Release date | 2025 |
| Genre | science fiction |
| Pages | 336 |
| Available From | |
Welcome back to Book Review, readers! This month, we’ll be checking out John Scalzi’s latest book, When the Moon Hits Your Eye!
John Scalzi has been featured on this column before: I did a review of Starter Villain, his last book, which starred a regular Joe navigating the world of supervillains after his supervillain uncle passed away and left him the business. There’s one more Scalzi book I’d like to bring to this column, Kaiju Preservation Society, but we’ll have to wait and see on that one. Scalzi’s recent books aside, let’s dive into When the Moon Hits Your Eye.
When the Moon Hits Your Eye asks the question, “What if the moon suddenly turned to cheese?” We open following the director of a small space museum as he’s about to leave for the day when he is called to take a look at one of the exhibits, a piece of moon rock. Inexplicably, it has turned into cheese, and nothing on their security cameras can explain how this has happened. When the employees of the museum step outside to look at the moon, they find it is a lot brighter than it used to be…
The rest of the story is told from a different POV in each chapter. Astronauts who were scheduled to fly to the moon who have now had their flight cancelled. The CEO of the company that makes the rockets that were going to the moon. A writer struggling with writers’ block after she has lost sight of her dream story. A pair of college students who are grappling with their existence now that the moon is made of cheese. A Reddit conspiracy theory thread. Everyone talking about the moon, and what will happen with it now, what will happen to the Earth, what will happen to the people living on it?
In his acknowledgements for this book, Scalzi talked about how this book is part of an unofficial trilogy along with Starer Villain and Kaiju Preservation Society, in that they all feature everyman protagonists and are written to feel like they could take place in present day. When the Moon Hits Your Eye is probably the easiest of these to slip into, as the scientists in the book are as in the dark about why the moon has turned into cheese an organic matrix as the reader is. The cheese math checks out (the moon keeps its density which means it grows biggest to accommodate the difference between cheese and moon rocks, cheese reflects more light from the sun than rocks so the moon gets brighter in the sky, etc.), and everything that ends up happening to the moon is plausible for a celestial body made of cheese. I never found myself saying “this is ridiculous”, or rolling my eyes about the science of it all. I will warn you, there is a lack of closure surrounding the science, so if you go into this book to get all the facts, you will be disappointed.
After all, this book is less about the science of the moon turning into cheese and more about people’s reactions to it turning into cheese. Everyone is confused, of course, but there are all types in our world. Nutty people who are willing to do whatever it takes to taste the moon cheese. Arrogant businessmen who want to take advantage of the situation. Young people who are questioning their lives and how they will move forward knowing that may only have a few years left to live. This is a very human book; it will make you laugh and it will make you think about your own life, about your dreams and what you want to do with your limited time on Earth, whether you are being threatened with a cheese moon or not. This is a sci-fi comedy with a lot of heart, and if you need a little pick-me-up in our tumultuous world right now, I’d recommend you give this one a try.
When the Moon Hits Your Eye is at times goofy, at times serious, at times a little too realistic, and at all times very relatable. It’s a great introduction to sci-fi if you’ve never jumped in before, (which I also mentioned with Starter Villain), so if you have been on the fence about John Scalzi, this is another great book to jump on. I can’t sing its praises enough.
That’s all for me this time, readers. See you next time with a fresh Graphic Novel Review!
Written by: Hypnotoad (talk)
Art by: Gabumon (talk)
Spring Cleaning
Every Spring, in the spirit of this 2nd quarter cleaning fiesta, I go through my review documents and see if there’s any stragglers that were cut from posted reviews, never coagulated into a complete review, or just follow-ups that I don’t think will ever coalesce into a full review again. It’s also a chance for me to circle back to things I’ve tried and see if my thoughts have changed at all, but otherwise it’s a bit of good fun just doing a handful of singular reviews! Truthfully, it's often because I just keep buying more and more nonsense when I can't even get through all of the stuff I already have, so please enjoy this annual filtering event and let it encourage you to refresh your own lives.
MOSS Pomegranate
I reviewed this originally in June 2024 where you are welcome to reread it for more information about the MOSS brand, only able to find two out of three flavors: Pure and Mango Ginger. I had completely given up on ever finding their third flavor–Pomegranate–until I found it in the impulse fridge in the checkout lane of a Fresh Thyme Farmers Market that I stumbled into somewhere in Chicago while trying to find food without spending $70 on a Lyft ride elsewhere after aimlessly wandering through goth clothing shops in Avondale, as I tend to do.
Unlike many other things on the shelves at this Fresh Thyme Farmers Market it’s not expired, and doesn't expire for about 6 more months, which implies to me that these are still in production and being sold SOMEWHERE, if even it's only here. It’s hard to tell because their store locator still lists several local Sprouts stores (which I can personally verify do not carry it) as well as Foxtrot (which stopped existing for a while and feels like crossing some kind of worker’s rights line to ever walk into again).
The flavor is ‘Pomegranate’ but the ingredients also include black currant, hibiscus, tarragon, orange, and ginseng, so I can assume this will lean a bit tart and floral, which is similar to their website’s promise of sweetness, tartness, and depth. Upon opening it, it does smell floral, sure, but not really carrying the depth and darkness I would want from a pomegranate, as this comes off a bit clean and light, leaning impotent. Once again, the ingredients listed on the website are much different than what’s on the bottle, with the bottle listing hibiscus powder instead of extract, the website omitting tarragon extract, ginseng extract, and ashwagandha extract, as well as shifting around in the list implying the amount of each in the recipe has also changed. This just makes it feel like a really clumsy and unprofessional operation, as these discrepancies indicate either the recipes keep shifting well past the production and national scaling milestones, or that proper labeling and information sharing just isn’t happening, or both. It promises to support energy, mood, and libido, and given what I’m in Chicago for I can’t really credit MOSS for boosting any of that. Pomegranate is the key here, with a whole list of purported benefits that require several weeks to several months to see noticeable benefits, and that’s assuming a dosage that’s far beyond what a single bottle of Pomegranate MOSS will provide. Despite all of these flavors, all I really taste, though, is the hibiscus with a tinge of orange; ginseng is overwhelmingly the smell and makes it feel like a kombucha, which in turn makes the thick and smooth texture feel that much more uncanny. I’m not sure where everyone is getting red wine vibes from but if you’ve literally had one glass of red wine you’d know that this just isn’t it.
I do appreciate that this is a bit of a one-trick pony, with the titular sea moss being what the health focus is, as the other ingredients are mere healthy-accepted flavors that fit within their overall non-GMO, organic, etc. credentials. Too many other foods and drinks nowadays just shove a random assortment of nootropics and adaptogens that fit within a brand’s particularly pseudoscience worldview, but this is just all in on one particular food, and I respect that. I just can’t imagine the health benefits that this offers is any way better than just eating a few more vegetables every now and then, which would taste much better, too. Even just taking supplements and then carrying on normally, honestly. Just drink more water, everyone should just drink more water, I should drink more water.
Their Instagram, at least as I type this out in late April 2025, appears to still be active, with heavy implications of their “nationwide” availability being primarily boutique studios in the Los Angeles metro area and all five NYC boroughs. With this still being Michael B. Jordan’s pet project, MOSS is being pushed alongside his movie ‘Sinners’, and doing well at the Natural Products Expo West alongside a bunch of other products with the same exact retro-revival style of package design as everything else that I can’t wait to see die. This press release also states MOSS is available in several retailers in southern California, Shoprite (New Jersey and NYC metro), Fresh Thyme (midwestern states from Minnesota to western Pennsylvania), and Central Market (Texas). They also state Sprouts and Earth Fare, but I have not seen MOSS available at all anywhere in the Carolinas down to Florida since their initial debut and seemingly single shipment, but the press release also states that distribution will soon begin in the southeast through distributors I recognize as having working partnerships with Sprouts, Whole Foods, and Publix. I’m interested to see if more flavors are developed, or different angles are taken, i.e. carbonation, seasonal flavors, extra chunky, etc., to help keep interest up, because I just can’t see myself going back to any of these original three.
MOSS Lemon Lime
And of course literally within 12 hours of finishing that last MOSS section, here I am wandering through the Sprouts tea aisle for an upcoming review and what do I see with absolutely no fanfare at all and tucked into a hidden bottom shelf spot? Unbelievable, and I’m physically unable to not check it out, with intentions to buy the Pomegranate again just to compare it to some of the red wine I have at home, and there sits a different flavor: Lemon Lime. There’s absolutely nothing online about it currently, as I sit here on April 26th, 2025, typing this all out with low level energy that I could be the first person trying this and writing a review for it. Alongside it is the Mango Ginger, but not the Pure, leaving it just the three flavors and the assumption that the Pure flavor has been quietly shoved aside for this or that it’s a simple rename. While the original Pure did have lime in it, it was not ‘lemon lime’ which is a critical difference. Whereas the Pure’s ingredients include reverse osmosis water, erythritol, wild sea moss, lime juice concentrate, and organic monk fruit, the Lemon Lime includes all of that plus organic lemon extract, pectin, organic ginseng extract, and organic ashwagandha extract. Curiously the water is just listed as “water” and not “reverse osmosis water”, and I’m unsure if this is a genuine ingredient change or just further lack of craftsmanship as they rush product onto the shelves. What I’m more interested in is the addition of pectin, a natural starch that’s critical for gelling jams and jellies and providing their thickness, as this may be an attempt to provide a more uniform texture and consistent drinking experience.
It smells fresh, definitely of lemon and lime, but more in the vein of a moist towelette has just been opened at the table across from you, rather than a blast that Sprite or Febreze Heavy Duty Kitchen Odor Fighter may give. The taste is genuinely refreshing, a good amount of citrus to it that’s pleasantly herbaceous and clean, but stays light and sweet. The sea moss is definitely in there, visible and tactile, thickening the drink slightly and giving it a bit of a subtle sinus drain ambiance that I didn’t appreciate sliding on my lips and down my throat, but it was a lot less intrusive than what you’d get from an aloe drink, but it does dissipate about a third of the way through as all of the heavier bits end up getting guzzled first. With this one being pretty alright, it does give me hope that progress will be made, I’m just not at ease with how unreliable their information is and am not too sure if I want to give them any more than the $15.96 I already have–at least until they settle on what product they’re actually going to be selling. Hopefully for them, this will happen before any other sea moss beverage that won’t reveal consistent information becomes popular.
P.S. About three weeks after I finished writing this I found a Pure flavor at a Sprouts in Atlanta that had the exact same ingredients as what the Lemon Lime said, including organic lemon extract, pectin, organic ginseng extract, and organic ashwagandha extract, confirming to me that ‘Lemon Lime’ is replacing the ‘Pure’ flavor, but apparently unsure in what way. Messy production quality and complete failure at consistency should be a bigger concern than it is, and highlights how celebrity-driven virality and hastily researched holistics in food production can yield a complete failure of trust in what’s actually being consumed; it’s a shame and will be inevitably dangerous that the exact people in these market are totally blind to it or actively don’t care.
Flock Chicken Skin, Terry Black’s Barbecue
I thought about sticking these onto my Austin reviews about a year ago, after reviewing Terry Black’s back in Issue 209, but Flock itself is not from Austin exactly, or even Texas, and rather is based in San Francisco and sources their chicken entirely from southern California. I grabbed these at the time, though, as the flavor is Terry Black’s Barbecue, which is one of only four of this brand’s total flavors available as of (originally) typing this in August 2024 and now five as I finish this off in April 2025. Three out of five flavors now are collaborations with other brands, signalling that this is just what Flock will be doing now, riding the way many other companies also are as they share loyal fanbases with each other to create immediate curiosity and hype. Similar to chicharrones, but rather than being fried pork (rinds, belly, skin) it’s fried chicken skin. Flock has angled themselves in such a way that it comes off as a unique product, but it’s really just a gentrified, upscaled, and ‘sanitized’ rebranding of something that has already existed in Spain and Latin America, and found in gas stations, hispanic grocery stores, and pan-Asian markets all over the United States, just pushed through diet culture by calling it keto and suggesting it for charcuterie boards and salad toppings in what feels genuinely insulting in several ways.
Long story short, these are horrendous. To start off, the price for these is absolutely ridiculous, currently on sale for $6.49 with a regular price of $7 for a meager 2.5 oz bag, which is just about the same size as your average sandwich combo single serve chip bag that’ll run you maybe $2 tops. I only bought them because I saw them on a special shelf for about half off, and for the review concept, which has now become a trap combination that has me getting all kinds of things that I regret. Expensive chips are a thing now, along with expensive everything else, but I can forgive a specialty product having that price if only it had more than a few pieces in the bag, as this had maybe 2 enormous pieces, like 3 small ones, and then dust, when we all gotta get serious and remember here that all this product is is fried chicken skins. Upon opening it, it smells like a disgusting blend of dog food and oven cleaner, so much so that I sincerely believe they may have neglected adequately washing off the chemicals from their pans or machinery before frying them. As someone who works in a kitchen, I know what old fryer grease smells like, and that’s exactly what’s going on here: old, burnt, unfiltered oil pushing the lifespan beyond its use to get a few more fries out to save some of that materials cost. The texture of them is just absolutely not like a chip, either; an initial crunch is there in the smaller pieces, sure, but the larger pieces were chewy in a way that frightened me a little that they weren’t fully cooked, which brought me back to that rotten smell. The taste is a bit accurate, though, it’s definitely fried chicken skin in subpar bbq seasoning, greasiness and all. With this being a partnership, either Terry Black’s tasted this and said “yeah, yup, this disgusting sour trash tastes exactly like our barbecue”, or they never bothered looking further into it than just having their name slapped on an item that will be sold nationally, and I can’t decide which is worse. I think if your goal here with buying this is low carbs, high protein, and having a crunchy snack option, just go and buy a box of fried chicken from literally anywhere to pull off the chicken skin yourself and save the meat for later. The best thing I can say about these is that I’m glad my bag didn’t have chicken feathers in it, as that’s what a lot of other reviews are saying. I can’t imagine these being a real option for anyone, these just don’t need to be purchased at all, find your protein elsewhere, find your crunch elsewhere, and just get over yourself and buy those off-brand chips at your local Citgo.
One regret, and a partial reason I didn’t finish the review at the time, is I threw the bag out before I took pictures of it, because my immediate priority was to just get it away from me; luckily for documentation reasons it’s still sold at Sprouts so I am able to walk in there to take a picture of the front and back of the bag and then put it back down to never buy it again.
Better Booch; Morning Glory
This kombucha has been fermenting in my half-written reviews since Issue 174–September 2021, for those keeping track–when I first started cycling through redoing reviews of things I hated, with Better Booch being one that I had cut because I had already reviewed more than enough. While I do have a significant amount of notes available from then that I can easily build a couple of paragraphs and call it a day, I did happen to see this available in a can at an Earth Fare where I opted to not try any of the other flavors available and instead keep to the one I tried back in 2021 and nothing more: Morning Glory.
Morning Glory is peach and black tea flavored kombucha, raw and unpasteurized, naturally fermented, and looks to be one of their best selling products. On sale at Sprouts for $2.49, 20 cents off, for a 16 fl oz can back in 2021, and now $2.99 for a 12 fl oz can at Earth Fare here in 2025, showing roughly a 50% increase in price. Incredibly and relatively inexpensive for something self-described ‘premium small craft’, but that’s another change in 2025: they no longer call themselves premium small craft. They also drop actually saying what the flavors are on the front and just have ‘Morning Glory’ on the front, swapped out ‘sparkling probiotic tea’ for ‘naturally fermented’, and most curiously the addition of a “Native+™ Synbiotic Blend”. Information on their website (and the can, just really tiny text) states that the Native+™ Synbiotic Blend ‘at the time of manufacturing’ includes: “PREBIOTIC FIBERS: Chicory Root. Organic Jerusalem Artichoke, Probiotics: Bacillus coagulans SNZ 1969®, Lactobacillus delbrueckii¹, Saccharomyces cerevisiae¹, Bacillus subtilis, Bifidobacterium bifidum, Bifidobacterium breve, Bifidobacterium lactis, Lactobacillus rhamnosus, Streptococcus thermophilus, Postbiotic: Bifidobacterium longum CECT 7347 ES1 *POSTBIOTIC FIBERS: Bifidobacterium longum CECT 7347 ES1 ¹From our Native Kombucha Culture”. This is a lot of words to say that there’s a lot going on in here, with Better Booch wanting to put focus on how they’re backed by science to better support balance with digestion, immunity, and focus; though I find it more notable to point out that it’s hard to find any other popular kombucha brand that either has all of these, or is open about spelling it all out, which does lend a good deal of cred to Better Booch. Other ingredients include purified water, organic cane sugar, organic black tea, kombucha culture (yeast, bacteria), and natural peach flavor, and boasts naturally existing L-theanine alleging it helps sharpen your focus. Vegan, kosher, raw, gluten-free, organic, Non-GMO Project Verified, and non-alcoholic, Better Booch tries hard to hit all of the buttons.
It doesn’t smell like kombucha, leaning more on the sweeter side, and that’s about as much peach you’re gonna get from this. I can kinda tell it’s black tea but only because there’s SOMETHING there staving off that eugh bleck kinda carbonated water taste I just can’t get into, as well as the standard kombucha funk. Doesn’t taste much like kombucha either, but rather like a vinegar shot, which is not outside the realm of what kombucha can naturally be but is definitely unique among the dozen or so I’ve tried that lean much more tart or antiseptic. I don’t want to make it sound like this is a crowd-friendly soda mimic because it still has quite an acidic bite to it, but it feels like a good entry level for people curious and not exactly wanting to guzzle foul sewage, and a fine place to park yourself.
The peach flavor reappears as a cameo in carbonation belches minutes after finishing drinking it, leaving me curious as to how that’s possible..
Sanpellegrino Chinotto
I bought this back for my fizzy water reviews, and just never got around to it for a few reasons: I bought it more as a follow-up after the initial San Pellegrino reviews, I already tried too many and had to cut something, and I just wasn’t feeling the brown color scheme as it read as something more savory and I just didn’t want to deal with that at the time. Referred to as an ‘Italian cult drink’, I bought a 4-pack of glass bottles of this from a local Italian market, something I believe needs to be more prevalent everywhere as nearly every one I’ve been to has been fantastic. Sanpellegrino Chinotto is a sparkling citrus beverage flavored with the eponymous Sicilian chinotto oranges, along with a mix of 20 herbs.
Bitterness is a preferred flavor in Italian cuisine, and Chinotto fits right into that. The bitter tinge Chinotto has in the aftertaste that reminds me of Beverly, a really bitter Italian soda that’s actually been discontinued since 2009 but continues to exist as an undead freak for Disneygoers to react to and ridicule. I think the issue is primarily the consumer’s approach to Beverly, which is it’s marketed as an apéritif, a (typically alcoholic) drink meant to stimulate appetites before a meal, and lean towards floral and dry wines, but these particular (American, British) consumers of carbonated beverages expect something sweet, saccharine, and refreshing or dessert-like. Chinotto dances around this concept, leaning closer in spirit to more classic Italian apéritifs like Aperol Spritz and Campari that are flavored with bitter regional oranges and herbs, but still rather sweet and unassuming, being more of a traditional soft drink that’s pretending to be something else. The flavor leans almost savory, and at the same time like a root beer float. Anise comes through the most, a bit of caramel, cola, allspice, almost like an Italian Dr Pepper that takes pride in its lesser sugar content to dazzle you away from remembering that this is still a Coca-Cola product, which is a silly fact given than chinotto soda came about as an answer to cola. Other reviews I’m seeing out there very aggressively hate or really overstate the level of bitterness in this, and I’m just not getting that. It’s definitely a jolt if your exposure to bitter flavors is only getting six pumps of caramel syrup in your Frappuccino instead of eight, meanwhile I can eat an entire grocery store’s olive bar if I’m given the chance; there’s much more intense flavors out there and, again, I think this reaction is just perception of Sanpellegrino Chinotto as a refreshing drink to have with your meatball sub, while the same people wouldn’t blink at drinking a martini. While I appreciate how it represents how different cuisines can shape even their multinational sugar waters, I don’t think I’d ever drink this on its own again because I’m just not built as someone who needs an apéritif or digestif and would rather prefer a 44oz Cherry Coke, though it will likely serve well in a gin & tonic as a tonic replacement and have a place in my fantasized home bar where I will one day serve friends all kinds of weird cocktails.
As an aside, I love the slight difference in marketing to Italian and American customer bases with the changes in descriptions on their website, with the Italians getting more romantic, regional, and quality information, and Americans getting more more flavor descriptors and suggestions.
Narra; Strawberry Matcha
As I was researching and reviewing ready-to-drink coffees and lattes it became clear very quickly that interest in matcha was a market that nearly every company was trying to angle towards in one way or another. Specifically, strawberry matcha has been en vogue since late 2024, showing the sheer power of social media virality–specifically TikTok–and how quickly the market and companies can pivot to immediately fill those interests in ways I’ve never seen so quickly until recently. Matcha itself has been having a moment, being perfect for the current socioeconomic landscape in which food has become a symbol of wealth and status alongside a new diet culture obsession; it’s seen as exotic, unique, aesthetically striking, sophisticated, rooted in tradition, healthy, an easy slide from the late coffee craze, it just makes perfect sense that matcha would be it right now. The addition of strawberry is simply due to fruit additions being popular–for both taste and visuals–with strawberry just happening to be the one that aligns just right on the chart of cost-of-ingredients and broad likeability. I’ll be honest and say that I’m not really a big fan of matcha, or even green tea, so I’ve never really looked into this craze much, until I tried Narra latte drinks a few months back, with a Strawberry Matcha in their catalog.
The ingredients are quite similar to their lattes, using raw demerara sugar, coconut MCT oil, and monk fruit juice, while continuing to highlight their various statuses such as vegan, dairy free, non-GMO, no artificial ingredients, and natural caffeine and L-theanine. The taste is rather strange, almost meaty and savory, which veers into a tattletale fishiness that reveals their ‘organic ceremonial grade matcha’ is just as much of a useless buzzword as many things in this realm are: lower quality matcha, stored improperly, allowing oxidation to take place, alongside the L-theanine that can naturally go fishy if not flavor-balanced well. After mulling it over a bit I can taste the strawberry, and it being strawberry puree specifically makes sense a bit more as a real strawberry flavor is absolutely not the same as fake strawberry that I suppose I was subconsciously expecting, being quite a bit deeper than sweet. The molasses-like flavor in the demerara sugar only contributes further to this strange earthy taste, along with the oats and matcha driving that earthiness in, I just can’t accept it as a drink for me. The tagline that I completely missed at the top does say “sweet, earthy, & creamy” so I should’ve known earthy was there, but the sweetness just isn’t.
It’s just really not a pleasant flavor and I could not bring myself to finish it, which ended up working out well for me as I’m writing this at 10:30pm on a night I need to be back up at 5am for. I feel like I need to try other strawberry matcha drinks to render a better assessment about if Narra did a good job at making this flavor, but with how I just viscerally could not drink any more of it does not inspire me to really seek it out. This is also I think the 4th time I’ve reviewed a matcha or green tea flavored food and I’ve haven’t liked any of them, so I’d say that’s a pretty solid confirmation for me going forward that I just won’t like any of them. I did say in my original review of Narra “I very easily chose to not get the Strawberry Matcha as my own personal tastes would undoubtedly render an unfair negative review” so at least I was on the spot with that, but I continued with saying “though other reviews say that you can hardly taste the matcha” which has me now questioning again why is everyone who isn’t me that reviews food a liar? What was that taste if not the matcha? I’ll stick to Narra’s Roasted Oolong Milk Tea and keep supporting that.
| The 'Shroom: Issue 218 | |
|---|---|
| Staff sections | Staff Notes • The 'Shroom Spotlight • Poochy's Picks • 'Shroomfest Highlights • Credits |
| Features | Fake News • Fun Stuff • Palette Swap • Pipe Plaza • Critic Corner • Strategy Wing |
