The 'Shroom:Issue 119/The 'Shroom Spotlight
Welcome to a new edition of The 'Shroom Spotlight! What we do is bring attention to various articles that need improvement, as outlined on our maintenance page. Then we select a small number of those articles, and aim to improve them and correct their issues. The progress we've made on those articles are later reported on in the following month's edition.
Starting the year out with five out of six is a very good start, especially since it's the start of the year when everyone's still groggy from binging out on New Year's. Shiny Dry Bones was the only article who wasn't improved, but maybe it will return in a future Spotlight. Anyhow, on with the thanks to our wonderful users: TheFlameChomp (talk) created Trampoline Shy Guy, he didn't stop there as he and Owencrazyboy9 (talk) also improved Shock Bomb so it's no longer a stub; Alex95 (talk) rewrote the Magical Map so now its article looks magical as well; Owencrazyboy9 (talk) separated TNT Barrel into nice headers, and Super Radio (talk) added some additional information; and Time Turner (talk) uploaded File:MGAT Yoshi Birdie.png to replace the previous poor-quality jpg.
Earlier this month, Andymii (talk) began a collaboration thread on the forum about improving the writing seen in the Donkey Kong Country and Donkey Kong Land level articles, which we are thrilled to focus on for this month's Spotlight! Some notable issues with the articles involve incorrect tense, informal language (such as using "the heroes" in place of the Kongs), and flowery, lengthy writing. Please see our writing policy and manual of style for a full explanation on the correct writing standards to be used. However, since the new Yoshi game was released, we couldn't resist having some Yoshi-themed focuses.
|The language used in this article is making me rather kross. From what I gather, this level contains enemies that "can cause quite some trouble" to "the heroes", who are trying to "scale more of the mountain". The future tense should be corrected to present.|
|Adjectives such as "fortunate", "the primates", "the arachnid", "the special item" should be written more neutrally and professionally. Additionally, there is an excessive amount of detail in the article (readers don't need to know small variations in the heights of platforms, for example). The writing should be made more concise.|
|Your worst nutmare? You're in for "a rather treacherous time". These large paragraphs are really difficult to get your "neck" around, especially when they are littered with irrelevant detail and overly-creative adjectives.|
|There are plenty of flowery adjectives such as "foes", "villainous", "the primates", "the heroes"... even "the friends". The "Layout" section should also just be a summary on the level's obstacles and structure: all the small platform-by-platform, walkthrough-style of writing doesn't belong here.|
|Considering this article has the name of our lord and savior, Poochy, it is an ill-fitting monument. The article may describe the level, but contains no level layout, nor does it have an enemy list.|
|This gallery has a large amount of artwork, screenshots, and sprites. So what's it missing? Logo! Go out and find some official logos for this game so this gallery can be completed.|
|I know the heat haze from fire is meant to be blurry, but in images of fire enemies, I'm expecting a nice crisp image, not a blurry one.|
Thanks for tuning in to the newest edition of The 'Shroom Spotlight! Be sure to turn up next month, where we'll be reviewing the progress on the above focuses. If you have any questions or suggestions about this month's set of article focuses, then please get in touch through the dedicated topic if you have a forum account. If not, then please contact Yoshi876 or Shokora on their wiki talk pages. You are also welcome to make suggestions on what you think we could focus on in our next edition. Good luck!
|The 'Shroom: Issue 119|
|Staff sections||Staff Notes • The 'Shroom Spotlight|
|Features||Fake News • Fun Stuff • Palette Swap • Pipe Plaza • Critic Corner• Strategy Wing|
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