The 'Shroom:Issue 225/Critic Corner
Director's Notes
Welcome to another end of the year, where soon we will be having another end of the year before you know it! But before you know that, know this: we have plenty of great reviews to read here this month in Critic Corner to help you get cozy as you settle into your sweaters and fluffy socks, drinking your cocoa, sitting by a fire, or--like me here in Florida--hitting the beach!
Thank you for voting Half-Baked Reviews as November's Critic Corner Section(s) of the Month!! Be sure to give your love to all of our sections here, and give a shout out to our writers whether in chat or in their forum threads dedicated to their sections. Be sure to vote vote vote!
And now for my regular announcements: We've decided to implement in Critic Corner something similar to News Flush over in Fake News, where no formal sign-up application process is required for one-time or limited sections. From now on if you just want to send in a single review for something you just read, watched played, tried, whatever, you just have to send me your review privately either to me directly in chat, or in a message to me on the forum at least one week before each 'Shroom is to be released! There's no commitment or obligation to provide a full monthly section (although you absolutely can shift it into one if you so choose), just send us your thoughts on a thing and we'll feature it here! If you have any questions or curiosities about this, please feel free to ask!
As always, if you would like to help Critic Corner, we always have openings for more writers! You are free to write for sections such as Character Review and Movie Review, or really anything you'd like to do! There's no pressure to have a huge section; they can be shorter and concise! The application process is very simple, starting with reading the Sign Up page, and sending your application to Meta Knight on the forum. Any idea you have is welcome, and if you have any questions or need help signing up, please feel free to reach out to myself or other 'Shroom peeps!
Section of the Month
| CRITIC CORNER SECTION OF THE MONTH | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Place | Section | Votes | % | Writer |
| 1st | Anton's Half-Baked Reviews | 13 | 52.00% | Hypnotoad (talk) |
| 2nd | Super Ninelevendo Entertainment Reviews | 6 | 24.00% | Ninelevendo (talk) |
| 3rd | Elemental Enemies | 5 | 20.00% | Boo1268 (talk) |
'Shroom FM
Welcome back to ‘Shroom FM. I hope you all had a nice month off in November like I did.
It’s the last regular(?) edition of 2025 and I have been paying no attention to when stuff has been coming out so this will likely be a random assortment of stuff from across the year. Join me next month for the annual 'Shroom FM Album of the Year awards to find out my favourite album of this year, or as luck would have it you can find out early this month by reading the section "Geese - Getting Killed".
It's also Christmas but I don't think I have enough Christmas songs left to recommend, so just do whatever you'd normally do. Go and spend time with people instead.
Dijon - Baby
I don’t think I have too revolutionary a take on this. The production and instrumentation here is a spectacle; very vibrant, lively and intricate. Dijon’s vocal performance is superb as well, he displays a lot of passion and versatility throughout. This all does mean that the album really soars in its best moments, but unfortunately there are a few songs where the songwriting doesn't quite match up, especially in the second half - even the better tracks don't add much, and there's a few where the interesting elements are largely stripped back in favour of this boring reverb-y acoustic sound. It just kind of sputters out quite early, even if the last two tracks are relatively solid - but the flourish when it all comes together is more than worthwhile.
Geese - Getting Killed
I'm not sure what there is left to say about this one which hasn’t already been said, considering how highly this has already ranked on a number of year-end lists, but this is one of those albums that I just clicked with instantly. I talked about Geese's 3D Country when that came out and praised how "the vocalist" (or "Cameron Winter" as he goes by now) sounded very "versatile" but ultimately wasn't huge on it; however, earlier this year I ended up listening to Winter's solo album from last year Heavy Metal and thought it was very good. I liked the singles I'd heard from this but I wasn't in too much of a hurry to listen to the album in full until I'd realised the song "Taxes" had been stuck in my head for weeks. Everything really clicks into place in context. "Trinidad" is a perfect opener: a groovy, stripped-back bass line interrupted by Winter yelling "THERE'S A BOMB IN MY CAR!!", as other instruments swell up and things just build into chaos. It feels like it's falling apart in the best way, every part of the band's sound is moving independently and doing something unique, as Winter's vocals get increasingly desperate and the lyrics get darker. This songs also showcases Winter's versatility, how quickly he can switch between sounding calm and tender to yelling at the top of his voice, his control between those two levels, and how much emotion and madness he can bring out of the lyrics. "Trinidad" is definitely the most noisy and chaotic song here but it sets the tone really well for everything that comes after and what the band is capable of. I don't think I can go through every single song because they all just stand out in different ways, there's so many moving parts that come together so well. Despite a lot of complexity and technicality in the instrumentation, it all still feels really rich and warm and the songs have a very classic feel to them. "Taxes" is very much the highlight here for me, another song that builds up each element in an almost soothing way, as Winter croons that he should burn in hell (but he doesn't deserve this) - and then it just releases through in this massive, cathartic burst of energy. It's a hard album to describe, really... complex but sometimes deceptively simple, absolutely mad but kind of beautiful in a way when you think about it. Obviously the band are great but the production makes everything sound so sharp and full of life, great work from... Kenny Beats? Kenny... all is forgiven.
Hatchie - Liquorice
Sadly, this is the first project I've heard from Hatchie that I'd call a bit of a letdown. On this record she seems to be tapping into earlier dream pop influences, some nice jangly guitars and this nice swirling, almost-uncanny atmosphere. Unfortunately, a lot of songs here really felt pretty sluggish and it was hard to keep focus, particularly towards the end. Production is also generally a bit dull by comparison to her previous work, and at worst can be outright grating – there’s some kind of shrill tambourine sound which stands out like a sore thumb in “Carousel”, which is especially unfortunate as that’s probably the best song here.
JADE - That’s Showbiz Baby!
I'll be honest, I never liked Little Mix. I would assume that's a given, I don't think I'm in the target audience, but with poptimism and everything that comes with it, who knows? That said, I'm not too surprised that some good-to-decent solo material has come out of their split - most if not all from JADE. "Angel of My Dreams" was her debut solo single and naturally made it to the top 10 over here. It's a bit unusual though - starts off with a Sandie Shaw sample, then leads into this bright and poppy refrain, which then suddenly slows right down into this thumping dance beat for the verse, and they swap every now and then until a final, slower refrain. It's definitely ambitious if kind of jarring, and weirdly it still works very well as a pop song. The album took over a year to come out after that, though, so that wore my anticipation a bit thin. Some other singles came out in the meantime and all of them are just packed right in the first half of the album, certainly a bold strategy. None of them feel that much like "Angel of My Dreams" outside of the general themes of the album (that's showbiz, baby), and the quality does vary - "Fantasy" is an fantastic disco tune, "Midnight Cowboy" has a cool darker and slightly mysterious feel and "Unconditional" is the highlight of the whole album for me, just an absolutely sublime dance-pop banger with such a massive atmosphere. The rest aren't bad, "IT girl" is probably the least popular and yeah, the chorus is kind of shit but the rest is very good if you can get past that! "FUFN" is simply a bit underwhelming, slightly too conventional even though the production is big and flashy, "Plastic Box" sits in the middle for me. So that's the first half, which has all the big hits (technically only two 'hits', sadly), which does put a little extra pressure on the second half to stand out. There's some good songs here for sure, but compared to the first it's definitely weaker. "Before You Break My Heart" is the only song on the album I don't like, it prominently features a Supremes sample but the way it's implemented isn't really interesting and it feels like the other elements of the song are just dancing around it. Overall, production is very good, the bangers land as well as they should - and as maybe implied on by the title there's a plenty of commentary about the entertainment industry and Jade's own experience of it, and this is all presented very well. All in all, it's a really neat pop album.
Sudan Archives - The BPM
I really enjoyed Sudan Archives' last album Natural Brown Prom Queen - however, The BPM shifts towards dance music and electronic elements, with a mechanical and computery atmosphere. It does feel very different from that album, but it's just as rich and creative. I don't think it flows quite as smoothly as NBPQ, definitely a couple of weaker tracks but even those are still fun to listen to, and the bangers are absolutely immense.
Yoshi18 Reviews
Hi everyone! Welcome back to the last Yoshi18 Reviews edition of 2025! This month we'll review the best racing game (in my opinion); Kirby Air Riders!
Kirby Air Riders
This game, like where do I even begin? Let's just start with the that this game is the best racing game of 2025 and much better than both Mario Kart World. This game has so much customization and things to do than in the other racing games of 2025. Mario Kart World has recently gotten better with the 1.4 update but the only thing real fun about it is Free Roam. While Sonic Racing: CrossWorlds is pretty much an arcade game rather than a console game. Both game are overall not worth the price but this game sure is. Sakurai is also one of the last goated developers remaining. Unlike most developers nowadays he's transparent and revealed that Kirby Air Riders won't get any (paid) DLC, so just imagine if we get free DLC (or free updates, if you want) for this game. Then it'll definitely be the best kart game since Mario Kart Wii. I love how you really only have to spend €70 on Kirby Air Riders, while you have to spend €80 on Mario Kart World (and it's worse than Air Riders). Not to mention that World will (probably) get paid DLC (Nintendo, don't you dare do it), meaning you'll have to spend an extra €25 on the absolute full-packed game (totaling €105. Imagine literally having to spend more than €100 on a videogame). Overall, my final opinion on this game is that it's definitely not just the best racing game of 2025 but the best game of 2025 as a whole and the best racing game since 2008.
Outro
Well, that's it for the last edition of 2025. I just wanna take the time to thank you all for being with me this year and thank you all for reading my sections! It has been an amazing (first) year for me at The 'Shroom and that is thanks to you all! Stay safe, have a merry Christmas, a happy New Year and 2026, and let's hope for many more Yoshi18 Reviews sections to come and a wonderful 2026!
A Look at Mario Enemies Lost to Time
Hello and welcome back to A Look at Mario Enemies Lost to Time, a section where I take a look at enemies who disappeared from the Mario series and its related games and see if I think they could have a place in modern Mario games. After a brief few months off, we're back, this time looking at an adorable little ladybug enemy from Super Mario Bros. 2 and a pipe-dwelling turtle from Super Mario World!
Hoopster
Hoopsters, creepy crawlers modeled after ladybugs and presumably made up of the remnants of bug-related nightmares, make their first appearance in Doki Doki Panic, which was later given a more marketable coat of paint as Super Mario Bros. 2. In those games, Hoopsters appear only in a few levels. Their method of attack is climbing up and down climbable objects, with these mostly being vines but sometimes trees and even on one occasion rope! Similarly to Klinger from Donkey Kong Country 2, they move faster climbing down than they do climbing up. Also, like most enemies in Super Mario Bros. 2, they can be ridden. This means that in some levels like World 1-1, instead of climbing the vine, you can simply take these luxurious ladybugs up the sky to Birdo! Honestly, in Super Mario Bros. 2 they really aren't that impressive. They can only affect the player if the player jumps into the side of them or somehow hits the bottom of them. Even if you let them take you all the way to the top of what they're climbing on, you don't get, like, squish damage. Instead, you simply bounce off of them harmlessly. Because of this, they just aren't a very threatening enemy! Some levels play with their climbing by having them work more as blockers, forcing the player to time their jumps around where the Hoopster is moving, but even that does little for the utility of Hoopsters as enemies in Super Mario Bros. 2!
Hoopsters would make only one other appearance in the games, appearing in a few E-Reader levels in Super Mario Advance 4: Super Mario Bros. 3, where they act the same as they did in Super Mario Bros. 2. I actually really like Hoopster.
I mean, come on, they're cute little ladybug killers! I love bugs! Bug is my favorite Pokémon type and I always say the Mario series needs more straight bug enemies. I actually think Hoopster could easily be incorporated back into the Mario series with very little effort. The games still have plenty of levels with vines, so you could easily just have them be the vine version of Fuzzy and have them move fast up and down the vines to force Mario to climb quickly. You could have levels where Mario needs to be constantly switching vines as Hoopsters pursue him like the level Kong-Fused Cliffs from Donkey Kong Country 3. Or you could have them actually eat the vines, forcing the players to make quick jumps to avoid being bitten by a Hoopster. You could even incorporate the riding mechanic from Super Mario Bros. 2 by having them attempt to carry Mario into traps! So, yeah, I think Hoopster could easily be reincorporated back into the series and you really wouldn't even have to change much about it. Just switch it from being rideable to dealing damage if you make contact with it, and, bam, you've got an enemy that can be put in any stage featuring vines!
Lakitu in a Pipe
Found only in Super Mario World, where even there it's rare, Lakitu in a Pipe (which, first of all is a dumb name so it'll be referring to it as Pipe Lakitu from here on out) is exactly what it says in the name. Now I know what you're thinking. "Uh, Shoey, according to the Mario Portal there's no difference between a Pipe Lakitu and a regular Lakitu and that's why the wiki merged them together". Well, the wiki is wrong! I don't recognize it as canon! Things like that are why I use the Mario FANDOM wiki, the superior site for all my Mario information. As the name suggests, Pipe Lakitus are Lakitus who have shunned the skies, instead preferring to live underground in pipes.
Pipe Lakitus are basically just Lakitus. They throw Spinies just like Lakitus. There are really only three differences. The first is that, when a Pipe Lakitu is defeated, another Lakitu doesn't take its place (whereas if you beat a regular Lakitu in Super Mario World, another one will fly in eventually). Two, Pipe Lakitus can duck into pipes to avoid the player. Three, Pipe Lakitus are way lamer then regular Lakitus. Pipe Lakitus throw a single Spiny before retreating into their pipe. Contrast that with regular Lakitus, who constantly attempt to throw Spiny death from above at you! Couple that with the fact that Pipe Lakitus can't pursue the player, and you have a really lame enemy! It's just an objectively worse version of Lakitu. There's nothing special! It does the same thing as Lakitu, just worse!
In its current form, I see no value in trying to bring back Pipe Lakitu. All it will do is serve as a minor obstacle for the player to avoid. When I say minor, I mean minor. Players will probably just jump over its pipe before it can even throw a single Spiny. I'd argue Pipe Lakitu is one of the lamest enemies in the entire series. It's so lame that Nintendo doesn't even let you put them in pipes in either of the Super Mario Maker games! Despite this, I do think there's a niche that Pipe Lakitu could fill in the modern games. The way I see it, you could put them outside of Clear Pipes and have them toss Spiny Eggs inside the pipes to force Mario to dodge and weave to avoid them, sort of like he has to do for Fuzzies but with more spikes! But outside of that one niche, I really don't think there's any place for them. Unless you like decided to put them underground for some reason? But the underground already has Buzzy Beetles and Spinies that fall from the ceiling along with Spike Tops, so I don't think you'd really need to put Pipe Lakitus under there to throw Spinies when you already have no problem putting Spinies underground to begin with! The problem is that Pipe Lakitu is just a worse and less interesting version of a regular Lakitu that swaps its zippy movements and Spiny bombardments for slowly throwing a Spiny one at a time. I really don't think or expect Pipe Lakitu to ever reappear in the series and I don't think the series is worse off for it!
That's all for this month! Join me next month when I look at two more forgotten enemies.
Elemental Enemies
Written by: Boo1268
Hello there, readers of The Shroom. It is I, Boo1268 the Fancy Phantom, back here again with another edition of Elemental Enemies. This is the series where I look into the variety of big bads featured in Skylanders: Trap Team and see how these respective villains fit their elements. As the year comes to a close once more, so does this section, it like all things can't last forever, but even still we can enjoy all the fun it has brought me to see you all enjoy this section, so without further ado let's finish this with some good old fashioned CHAOS!
(If you want to get to the explanations then please skip ahead, but to those who are new, let me give some context):
In Skylanders: Trap Team, the main gimmick was that using a special crystal insert and the respective crystal element, you could capture some of the villains of the game and play as them for a short period of time, and in the game, certain villains could only be captured with a trap of their element. So, being inspired by Lockston & Gnoggin’s Pokemon Type Explained videos, I am here to answer the question of how some of the villains fit into their respective element.
Now how this works is that we will be looking into what makes each villain their respective type. Things such as design, abilities, villain quests, lore, personality, etc. Each villain won’t go in any sort of order, but it tends to be that villains that most suit their type and have the most detailed explanation are at the top, and the villains that are the least connected, or more rather should NOT be connected (if specifically stated), go at the bottom. But now, with that out of the way, join me as I try my best to explain my reasonings.
Alright, it's time for some chaos!
Kaos: It's the big bad himself, Kaos, K-A-O-S! He's the main antagonist throughout the whole franchise, he's a villain through and through, he is one of only four portal masters in the franchise, and alongside that, he's also one of only two dark portal masters. Due to his immense power status as a portal master and the fact that he's the overarching villain throughout the entirety of the Skylanders franchise, its only fitting that he gets his own element.
But now here's that surprise I promised you guys. Since a few villains don't exactly fit their respective types, let's just blast through the ones that would have a different type and which ones they should be, but if you want a more in-depth discussion as to why, then simply look at their responses in the earlier issues. But we are going in order, so in this batch we have...
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
Cuckcoo Clocker + Cross Crow
Both are birds so they would be in the air element.
Slobber Trap
Is a giant piece of the earth and a plant, so mainly the earth element would fit him best.
Threat Pack + Scrap Shooter + Fisticuffs
Two of them are robots and one of them is a scientist that uses a jet pack, so tech will fit them all best.
Brawlrus
Water element easily and you know why.
Mab Lobs + Bomb Shell + Lob Goblin
All three of them use explosives, so they would pair well with Grinnade in the fire element.
Tussle Sprout
He's a plant, so life element.
Bad Juju
She's a witch doctor, so magic.
Eye-Scream
She's a monster whose villain quest involves ghosts, plus she looks like a stitched up corpse, so undead.
Well that's it! It looks like we're done folks, I'm really glad you enjoyed this series, I had lots of fun doing it myself! Taking some time out of my day just to do this and delve deeper into each character's reasonings has been fun! And I truly love how much support this series has obtained, it shows me that people like you enjoy this franchise as much as I do, and remember if you have any opinions on these villains don't hesitate to talk about it on the official/original thread. But until then, see you next time portal masters for something very similar but still unique, and as always: Merci, au revoir!
Written by: Hypnotoad (talk)
Main art by: Toadbert101 (talk)
Winter
After delaying it for so long, the year-end holiday season is suddenly here, complete with the feeling of time not having existed in the first place. Though Halloween and Thanksgiving had another burst of abundance this year the onslaught of Christmas was inevitable and can only be welcomed when its time comes. There’s plenty of editorializing about what flavors are trending this winter, and it’s certainly on the pulse of what’s being pumped out by companies looking to ride waves, what I’m actually seeing is seeking comfort in traditions and classics with simply an expanded view of what those are. As suddenly as winter approaches, it will quickly leave, but not before I’m able to stock up on a ridiculous amount of seasonal limited time snacks!
Hail Merry Eggnog Cups
For a while now I’ve been seeing wildly expensive but very small dessert-likes in fridge and freezer sets, like protein bars, little cheesecake bites, gluten-free brownies, single-serve keto donuts the size of a baby’s chew toy, alt-Reese’s Cups but made with but coconut oil and air, just a lot of things that look absolutely unnecessary to ever consider buying. For this reason, after hemming and hawing for a few minutes to myself while staring at the Whole Foods seasonal refrigerated display, I decided to just yoink this and give it a try.
Full of virtues that feel like platitudes and misdirections today, Hail Merry’s start as a company for raw plant-based snacks with a goal of empowering women. Utilizing coconut oil, raw fat from nuts, and other selected ingredients for their health, benefits and their taste and texture, Hail Merry makes about a dozen today cups, tarts, and cookie doughs. This particular flavor is limited edition, and boasts similar emblems as the rest of their products: vegan, gluten-free, non-GMO, dairy-free, paleo friendly, no emulsifiers, no gums, no eggs, soy, preservatives, palm oil, sunflower oil, safflower oil, and never baked “(to maintain the nutritional integrity of the good fats and enhance [their] fresh taste)”. There’s a lot of new age health crazes affecting what’s not in this, complete with people in their comments still complaining about what still could be in there as well as not being certified organic, but what is in here is shredded coconut, coconut oil, coconut sugar, almond flour, coconut water, tapioca syrup, cashews, sea salt, rum extract, and nutmeg. A majority of the ingredients being coconut, with any of the flavors and others being at the bottom of the list, does not spell hope for this to me, but I’ll be honest and say that I didn’t even look at the ingredients when buying it and only after I took a huge bite to verify the only thing I’m tasting. $3.49 for the pack of two cups, but on sale at Whole Foods for $2.90 and $2.61 with Prime, which still felt pretty expensive for what it is which makes their push for this as a holiday entertaining option seem insane, but, ehhhh, just under three bucks to have something to complain about for a paragraph or two? Great deal for me. It’s hard to find much useful information about this product or Hail Merry in general as their website currently looks awful, with a bunch of links the don’t work and with vast swaths of text space still being default filler, while their social media uses A.I. in advertisement in a grand display of misunderstanding full points and exactly why white people visiting Hawaii to use as inspiration for their business is often problematic. Perhaps the whole brand is as simple as that, upselling simplicity.
The recommendation on the package is to let it sit at room temperature for 15-20 minutes “for the ultimate taste experience”, which I originally wasn’t going to do given how this entire thing appears to be congealed coconut oil, but I ended up getting a phone call that lasted about that long and so it just happened. The taste was overwhelmingly coconut with absolutely no eggnog, rum, or any other flavor to be detected. The flavor was coconut, the texture was coconut, the smell was coconut, the weird congealed look to the ‘crust’ was obviously cold coconut oil which explains why this is a refrigerated item. While I’m open about how I don’t like coconut flavor or texture I at least try to be fair and recognize its usefulness and place where required, but there was just no need for so much coconut to be used in this, and huge shame placed on anyone who was involved in the research and development of this who decided that this was acceptable. It’s no stretch to accuse this of being fraudulent with just how there was absolutely no other flavor to this, incredible deception on display with a company prioritizing what the ingredients are rather than actually making something worthwhile; at the very least someone within the company responsible for okaying the taste and verifying the accuracy either has never had eggnog in their life or is just entirely absent in their job. It’s possible that their other products have the potential to taste better, especially as not all of them utilize coconut so extensively, but with how disappointing this one was in terms of having absolutely no flavor, disgusting amounts of coconut that didn’t need to be there, and enough notes of ignorant culture savvy to make me feel uncomfortable, I don’t think I’d be too willing to give any of those a try.
Califia Farms Organic Holiday Spice Almond Creamer
To finish off Califia Farms’ new-as-of-2025 seasonal quartet is their Organic Holiday Spice Almond Creamer. To be honest, I wasn’t going to bother with this one because I have more than enough creamers in my fridge, and everything else I tried from this set was great, but I just had to know what they meant by ‘holiday spice’ that set this apart from pumpkin spice beyond the lack of pumpkin and marketed towards winter instead. The ingredients are pretty similar, but just lacking the pumpkin puree and nutmeg, and instead having cardamom, so I’m expecting a taste profile rather close.
Very mild cinnamon, blended well with the cardamom with a smidge of ginger that gives it an edge of brightness rather than warmth. If anything I’d say I taste the cardamom more than the cinnamon, which serves as a differentiating factor from other holiday blends as it leans more sweet and a touch floral instead of nutty or earthy. When served in heated coffee the cardamom comes through a bit more, along with the ginger, giving it a bit more of a floral and citrus taste that I dare suggest leans a few points towards glühwein. I’m not sure if ‘sophisticated’ is the word I’d want to use here, but that’s how this flavor feels compared to more up-front and simple holiday flavors that just give you a blast of cinnamon or peppermint. Refined? Nuanced? Whatever it is, it’s a good show for cardamom having more of a place in holiday flavor sets. It’s a shame that the amount you need in a decently sized cup of coffee for it to really affect the taste ends up being like a visible third of the bottle, and due to this I think there needs to be an increase in sale of concentrated blends so you can tweak your coffee or drink a little more or even have it a bit darker while still having the flavor you want.
Siete Mexican Hot Chocolate Cookies
Siete Family Foods from Austin, Texas, makes an incredible variety of Mexican-American foods, including chips, cookies, snacks, seasonings, sauces, salsas, beans, taco shells. tortillas, all focused on family and heritage with a goal to be healthy and mindful without neglecting taste and texture because “a taco just doesn’t taste the same in a lettuce wrap”, admitting a truth that many vegan and alt-food makers refuse to grapple. A special highlight is their Team page, which has an extremely adorable and fun and expansive list of childhood photos of their team members and their most nostalgic foods. I have had their Mexican Wedding Cookies before in a non-review capacity which I need to allow myself to do more often, and I enjoyed them enough to snag a few more. Alongside that, what I saw was a cool bag design and ‘limited edition’ on their Mexican Hot Chocolate Cookies which was all it took to convince me to pay the full price of $4.99 for these at Sprouts.
“GRAIN FREE COOKIES” is the 3rd largest bit of text on the front of the bag, behind “Hot Chocolate” and “Siete”, making it an important highlight of these cookies that they’re made with almond flour and coconut oil. The full list of ingredients looks like an ideal co-op market haul, being made with almond flour, tapioca starch, coconut oil, chocolate chips, coconut sugar, cane sugar, arrowroot flour, chickpea flour, cassava flour, avocado oil, alkalized cocoa, apple cider vinegar, sea salt, baking soda, Mexican vanilla extract, cinnamon, and jasmine tea extract. Siete aims to combine the experience of a warm cup of Mexican hot chocolate with cookies for a perfect festive holiday treat, and I’m imagining this to just mean it’s a chocolate cookie that leans into a deeper cocoa taste with some cinnamon and chili. Unfortunately, it wasn’t even that.
Dry. Not the driest cookie I’ve ever had, but was definitely a prominent sensation. The chocolate chips were sorta visible but effectively non-existent in terms of texture or noticeable support in flavor as the chocolate taste was basic cocoa and sugar. The cinnamon in this was hardly there, and there’s absolutely no chili or spicy kick at all so I don’t think I’d say these are reminiscent of Mexican hot chocolate in any way other than fulfilling a company branding initiative, and by no means feels like a marriage of two holiday items. No subtlety or nuance in the flavors, and if I wanted to be bitter about it I could call this misleading, deception, a scam by selling a pretty basic chocolate cookie under the guise of being a holiday special. THAT BEING SAID, I think they’re good in a knowledge vacuum of just grabbing one and putting it in my mouth. I think they’re adequate as a cute little cookie to dip into coffee with only the pizzazz of being grain free for whatever dietary need or hallucination you may have, and while I think a little more cinnamon and a touch of chili should’ve been what this was and I fully demand a reformulation, these are just fine on their own. Really reminded me of Crawford’s Bourbon Creams with the particular taste of the chocolate in there being pretty close to unadulterated cocoa powder in a just-beyond-negligible volume to give it more flavor than almond flour.
In the spirit of their tagline ‘juntos es major’ I think these will make a nice addition to my upcoming Christmas snack board where I’ll be eagerly staring at my family and prompting them to tell me what they think. I just don’t think I’ll ever pay full price for them again.
Chobani Holiday Nog Greek Yogurt
After grabbing what seemed to be every coffee creamer, eggnog, and flavored milk I could find inside of the Sprouts refrigerated special endcap, I figured I should expand a little more, and what better expansion than looking one shelf facing to the right at some yogurt? Holiday Nog Greek Yogurt seems pretty straight-forward, but it left me curious which noggy direction it would go. Eggy? Cinnamon? Nutmeg? Vanilla? Rich, sweet, creamy? The ingredients are pretty simple (cultured reduced fat milk, water, cane sugar, natural flavors, fruit pectin, spices, guar gum, lemon juice concentrate, locust bean gum) so I can’t derive much from that. No artificial flavors, artificial sweeteners, preservatives, gluten, or rBST. It seems a little expensive at $1.79 (3/$5 on sale at Sprouts) when you can get other Chobani yogurt on sale pretty regular for $1 each, but as I was looking at numbers to validate my shock it turns out $1.79 is the going rate for similarly sized yogurts across the board.
It looks like this limited time flavor was first released in 2023 under the name ‘Spiced Holiday Nog’ with a different package design, and I believe this is the same product in 2025 as the ingredients look identical and there’s no new press release. Visible spices are a good sign here, the smell when opening it is of nutmeg, cinnamon, even clove I can recognize, but it doesn’t go too far. The greek yogurt tang is definitely the primary flavor here, but unmistakable eggnog is on the back end. I get that this flavor is ‘holiday nog’ to avoid any eggy assumptions, but the taste here is not just a standard cinnamon or nutmeg, but rather a complete eggnog taste, yolk and all. I don’t want my praise of the accuracy of the eggnog taste to betray the initial comment that the greek yogurt tang is the majority of what I taste in this, with the nog flavor being something I had to sit and think about. Almost too fruity and bright, probably with too much of that lemon juice concentrate in there giving it a citrusy tone that prevents the nog’s cinnamon and nutmeg from really coming to the forefront. This actually goes against what reviews from previous years with the original design say, often complaining that the spices are too overpowering, so I’m not sure anymore if this went through a thorough remake. I saw some complaints in other reviews of this (2025 version) stating that the texture was too thin, and as someone who doesn’t eat much yogurt at all I really couldn’t tell as it still hit a relatively greater thickness that I’d expect from a greek yogurt compared to the only other yogurt I ever get for personal use; though it is rather difficult to tell if there’s actually any unique thoughts in a review when nearly all of them nowadays are just a video of someone opening their eyes wide, covering their mouth, and saying something like “wait, that’s actually really good” before just adding a whole bunch of spices to it themselves.
I feel like you could just bypass this flavor as an option almost entirely, if not just for the sake of it being something to pack into a lunch bag, because you could just get a larger container of plain or vanilla and sprinkle in your own cinnamon and nutmeg and have an even better time. I suppose that’s the co-thesis behind all of cooking food for yourself at home, but with all of the food innovations and options we have in this country I don’t think I should have to blend my own yogurt flavors.
Emerald Sugar Cookie Cashews
Gotta be honest, the only reason I bought these was because I was completely mesmerized by a relatively complex holiday display at The Nice Sprouts in the middle class suburbs part of town (as opposed to The Regular One near me and The Busy Downtown one). I like going to this one because it just feels like a treat, feels like I’m part of a lifestyle I absolutely am not, that my husband works at a non-descript consultant firm while I’m a payroll account manager/reiki practitioner/full time mother of three boys who wear chino shorts to private middle school. The only downside of this Sprouts being nicer is their management team seems to have a tight hold on inventory levels and ordering so I never see soon-to-expire things discounted, which is honestly a huge reason I even go to Sprouts.
This display, though, was a fully decorated holiday house (shed?) you can walk through with some shelves in and around it highlighting seasonal items on sale, and on the side was a pretty expensive bag of cashews. I stared at this thing long enough wondering how many hours their grocery team was given to construct it and how much free reign they had to do it that I felt I had to grab a few things. I think if these were just tossed into a bin I wouldn’t have felt so compelled to give them a try, but the display had a lot of care put into it so now here I am with a bag of sugar cookie flavored cashews.
I can’t say I’m someone who checks out the flavored nuts section of the chip aisle often enough, so I was not aware of just how many flavors Emerald Nuts offers, so at the time seeing a Sugar Cookie flavor felt sorta notable to me. I’ve tried sugar cookie flavored things before with awful results, but I wanted to give this a shot again to see just what they think a sugar cookie is supposed to taste like and how they achieve it. The sugar cookie flavor is intensely subtle, which I’m a little conflicted on being good or bad. You need to get a rather significant mouthful to really notice the intended flavor in a meaningful way, which is not so much sweet as they are buttery; they even have an uncanny creaminess to them that’s pretty off-putting until you simply adjust your thoughts to this being more along the lines of buttered popcorn than a Lofthouse cookie. The ingredients specifically include brown sugar and sweet cream solids, along with a back description that states this is ‘sweet, creamy, and crunchy’ further pushing their focus on a buttery profile on the same level as sugary sweetness. A lot of reviews I’m seeing are rather negative of this, and come with the common thread of them not tasting like sugar cookies. The problem is, though, what does a sugar cookie taste like? What even is a sugar cookie? Is it the puffy ones with frosting? Crunchy with sprinkles? Chewy with the taste of cooking spray? Is sugar the primary flavor? ‘Sugar cookie’ is too broad of a category to really make it one singular flavor all of the audience will recognize as their idea of a sugar cookie. I think these particular nuts would’ve fared better in the court of public opinion if they were instead called ‘shortbread’ or something to imply Chessmen cookies flavor as this is the specific kind of sugar cookie these emulate, and doing so would give a more clear indication that the primary flavor will be butter.
Oatly Hot Cocoa Oatmilk
It’s been over 5 years since I last tried Oatly, and while I rated it one of the best alt-milks I’ve tried I haven’t had them since because a lot more options started coming forward. Oatly (and its rebrand) became so popular that the effectively single-handedly made oat milk THE alternative milk of choice, which greatly increased demand that they could not fill, resulting in vast shortages allowing competitors to innovate and replace. Through this market saturation and just natural business recovery over time they have added (and removed) quite a few products and varieties including creamers, ice cream, flavor variations, and most importantly this month Hot Cocoa Oatmilk.
This being hot cocoa and not just chocolate oat milk had me stopped in my tracks needing to know if they faithfully recreate a specific hot cocoa taste or if it’s just a scam. The only difference in the ingredients between this Hot Cocoa Oatmilk and their regular Chocolate Oatmilk is the latter having tricalcium phosphate, meaning that undescribed ‘natural flavors’ is doing all of the heavy lifting. Even the flavor text on their website seems to imply that this is just a seasonal hook, giving a redirect to the Chocolate Oatmilk for if you’re not feeling snowy, but it’s not enough for me to really tell if they’re meant to be identical products just pushing sales with perceived limited time availability or not. What makes something hot cocoa as opposed to just hot chocolate milk? The difference between hot cocoa and hot chocolate to begin with is that hot cocoa uses cocoa powder (and added sugar) while hot chocolate should be made with melting chocolate pieces or shavings, but uhhhhh the two are pretty much interchangeable because I don’t think anyone REALLY cares about the difference, just that Europeans might get mad if you conflate American hot chocolate and intensely thick drinking chocolate. The difference between hot cocoa/chocolate and chocolate milk is also pretty negligible despite this blog believing it’s laying out clear delineations as there’s a lot of overlaps and exceptions and technicalities that don’t matter and contradicting definitions elsewhere, and the criticality of the ‘hot’ can also be waved away as frozen hot chocolates remain popular. You can claim that hot cocoa isn’t the same as hot chocolate because hot cocoa sometimes uses water, but that ignores the fact that powdered cocoa mixes that even allow for a water base will have dried milk powder in it. To me, though, it’s less about the specific ingredients and preparation and more about the taste profile; chocolate milk is sweet and smooth, hot cocoa is thinner, and hot chocolate is richer.
This pours out very smooth and dark, with no clear signs of separation, and at least initially looks a bit more chocolatey than the regular. Curious, I took a sip of it while cold and it was just like every other oatmilk with cocoa in it, being that it tasted more like oats than anything else, but doesn’t taste quite as sweet as I was expecting. There’s different heating instructions for this that are no shock at all, suggesting warming it on the stovetop slowly, or microwaving it “if you’re feeling impatient”. Well, I actually am feeling impatient but also don’t want to have to clean multiple dishes just for this. The concern with using a microwave is that it can heat too quickly and result in separation or clumping, but that just didn’t happen when I did it, probably because I microwaved it in 30 second bursts as with experience microwaving any dairy product I know it’ll explode pretty quickly. Once heated the oat flavor was diminished a bit, pointing towards it being served hot as the obvious way to go, but the oat taste wasn’t fully gone and still at the forefront. Nice and smooth, good level of richness, but not so dark that it can only be slowly savored which I’m okay with because my preferred method of drinking hot cocoa is chugging it. Overall this mimicked a regular hot cocoa just fine; I’m not wowed or anything, but I suppose that’s the strength and the point in that if you absolutely had to have a non-dairy or vegan option this can function all-but-seamlessly if you’re also fine with it tasting heavily like oat. I’m still not convinced that this is any different than their regular chocolate, but I can appreciate a good seasonal bit.
