The 'Shroom:Issue 225/Palette Swap
Director's Notes
Hi, everybody! Welcome back to The 'Shroom, and a happy holidays to all of you!
Last month, I calculated that I would be talking about the DLC for Pokemon Legends Z-A in this space. Well, I have started the DLC. Unfortunately, I haven't gotten very far. Between the busy holiday season, juggling this game and a new save file of Pokemon X, and this DLC not being very fun for me, I don't have much to report. I'm hoping it gets better but I am not optimistic. On the bright side, playing X has been a delight, and I'm so happy to be back in Kalos proper after being stuck in only Lumiose for so long.
This month, we celebrate Super Mario Galaxy and its anniversary, and we've collected a few guest sections for you, too! Our Spotlight Manager, Technetium (talk), has shared a few chapters from her fanfic, and our Strategy Wing director, Hooded Pitohui (talk), has authored a special look at a Screenshot of the Month. You'll be seeing stars for sure!
Happy reading! ~FunkyK38
Section of the Month
And now for our Section of the Month results! This month in first place is Hint Toad (talk)'s Mushroom Kingdom Comics!! Following up is Random Video Analysis by Sparks (talk) with guest commentary by Technetium (talk)! Coming in third is winstein (talk)'s The ? Panel! Congratulations to all our writers and artists, and a big thank you to everyone who voted!
| PALETTE SWAP SECTION OF THE MONTH | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Place | Section | Votes | % | Writer |
| 1st | Mushroom Kingdom Comics! | 20 | 51.28% | Hint Toad (talk) |
| 2nd | Random Video Analysis | 7 | 17.95% | Sparks (talk) and Technetium (talk) |
| 3rd | The ? Panel | 5 | 12.82% | winstein (talk) |
Screenshot of the Month
Written by: Hooded Pitohui (talk)
Hello, all you readers of The 'Shroom! I've been thinking a lot about Pull Stars this month, and it got me wondering about their designs. Pull Stars are easy to overlook while you're hurrying through a level and obscuring them with your Star Pointer, but, as easy as it is to never consider their designs, they didn't appear out of the ether. There had to be at least one artist or developer on the Super Mario Galaxy putting thought into how they should look. To celebrate that, let's take a close look at a Pull Star and really consider why it looks the way it does.
To get the obvious out of the way, a Pull Star is in fact a star. It uses the five-pointed design commonly seen throughout the Mario series, to no surprise. The first true point of interest here are the little balls at the end of its points. These were somewhat new to Galaxy, and are commonly used to mark helpful stars throughout the game. I say "somewhat" because we did see a similar feature on the three top spikes of a Shine Sprite in Super Mario Sunshine, and it seems like their inclusion is an extension of the idea that started there. They're seen on Pull Stars, Launch Stars, Red Stars, and Grand Stars, establishing that arrangement of five balls on the end of the stars as a recurring visual motif in Galaxy. This is neat. It gives Galaxy just a touch more of a unique visual identity that separates its stars from all the others in the franchise, immediately communicates that these are all stars that aid the player somehow, and aligns with the general "rounding off" of the tips of stars in the Mario series over time. Come to think of it, all four of the stars sharing this design are related to movement and traversal, if Grand Stars helping Mario fly in cutscenes counts. Though, I doubt that was the intent, as Sling Stars don't get balls on their tips...
The Pull Star is blue. I don't know that there's any significance to this on its own. Super Mario Galaxy doesn't have a unified color for representing, like, traversal or gravity. Maybe there was some kind of accessibility consideration like blue standing out better against the void of space, but I suspect blue was chosen arbitrarily. They probably wanted Pull Stars to have their own color to make them distinct from Launch/Sling Stars, the Red Star, and similar items, and blue happened to be available. Whether intentional or not, I appreciate that this gives each common color of Luma its own transformation. Yellow Lumas become Power/Launch/Sling Stars, Green Lumas become Green Power/Launch Stars, Red Lumas become Red Stars, and Blue Lumas become Pull Stars. It's satisfying. However Pull Stars became blue, they did make an effort to align them with the Star Pointer, which is likewise blue for player one. This is a nice little convergence of design and gameplay, helping to establish a link between the Pull Stars and the cursor used to interact with them.
Speaking of the relationship between design and gameplay, please look at the little blue star nested inside the bigger star. If you can't see it well in the screenshot, here's some art:
This little star drifts in and out of the larger star when the Pull Star is idle. It goes back and forth, drifting away in one direction, then returning and drifting away in the other direction. This smaller star is the entire reason I wrote this section. It's charming! It takes a simple, utilitarian design and adds touches of cuteness and whimsy. I would find the design boring without it, and Pull Stars would lose a visual element that communicates their gameplay purpose, too. Think about it this way. How does Mario (or Luigi) interact with Pull Stars? He's either pulled to their center, or he lets inertia carry him past them. Just like this little star, he's either attracted to the center or he drifts away. Having this little star move while the Pull Star is idle imbues the Pull Star as a whole with a sense of movement and creates a link between its visual design and its role as a game mechanic.
The faint concentric circles that appear around Pull Stars likewise align their designs with their mechanical purpose. Evoking orbitals, they sell the idea of a Pull Star as a gravitational attractor. They signal to the player that a Pull Star will draw them in even before they use one for the first time. Plus, they lend a kind of mystical quality to Pull Stars, further drawing attention to them.
I might be able tease a little more out of the design of Pull Stars, but this is long enough as-is and I hit all the major points. I hope you enjoyed thinking about this minor little item existing in service of a game mechanic in too much detail. My appreciation for Pull Stars has never been greater, and maybe this convinced you to appreciate them just a little more.
Or maybe you've played Ghostly Galaxy's Purple Coin mission. I understand if you feel some antipathy towards Pull Stars after that one.
Waluigi Time Comic
Drawn by: Waluigi Time (talk)
"Pikmin Comic"
Panel 1
[Waluigi Time is seen in an Olimar-esque suit, accompanied by a Purple and Yellow Pikmin resembling Chuck and Mr. Shbeeg, respectively.]
WALUIGI TIME: Well we finally found it, boys
Panel 2
[Waluigi Time leans his hand against a gray background.]
WALUIGI TIME: This is the ultimate writer's tool!
WALUIGI TIME: We're going to write so many sections!
Panel 3
[The Pikmin are stepping on buttons. Mr. Shbeeg is jumping, and Chuck just landed on one, creating an impact knocking a White Pikmin resembling Kameron away.]
Panel 4
[It is revealed they are using an old typewriter, with a piece of paper in it that simply says "Hello". Tapping sound effects surround the typewriter.]
The ? Panel
{Suddenly a bright beam is fired at the planet that affected all the Coin Coffers. The two Coin Coffers fighting for the coin spun around, the one in the left getting the coin in the process.}
{What's left is a desolate planet and a redder sky, and the Coin Coffers becoming burnt and deflated. The trees are left with the trunks and what's left of the coins are disintegrated dust. The coin that the Coin Coffer snatched is disintegrated}
{The scene is revealed to take place in Space Land, where the characters are dressed in Space suits like in Mario Party 2. Here, Daisy and Rosalina looks higher up in shock at the state of the planet of Coin Coffers. Birdo is next to the countdown plate that shows a "0" on it, and looks back and wonder what the commotion was about.}
{Waluigi (also wearing a space suit) is on the yellow path, where he breathes a sigh of relief as he looks at the scene that caused the incident. He is in possession of a bag of coins, knowing that he'll lose them if he weren't so lucky.}
{The scene is revealed to be the Bowser-shaped satellite, which was just crashed by a Thwomp riding a space cruiser, causing it to go off-aim. The emanating heat from the cannon means that it just fired the Bowser Coin Beam. The Snifit is writing a traffic ticket while the Thwomp is still in the space cruiser. Bowser is scolding that Thwomp.}
Bowser: (To the Thwomp) I hope you get banned from driving forever for ruining a perfectly good satellite and a perfectly good aim!!! Do you have any idea how much it costs for repairs???
{The shot is similar to the final shot of Space Land after the game is over in Mario Party Superstars, but with some differences. Main difference is that the Bowser-shaped satellite is being towed away in the background instead of shooting the last-place player. Similar to that shot, the winner leaps in the air, in this case it's Waluigi who won the game thanks to the lucky break caused by the unlikely turn of events.}
{The second place player, Birdo, is holding an item, but is surprised by the sudden appearance of a Coin Coffer that dropped.}
{The third place player, Daisy, sees Bowser walking away in a squashed state, where most of his body is flat where his legs are stubbier due to being squashed. It is implied that the Thwomp from earlier gave him a good pounding.}
{The fourth place player is Rosalina, who is sulking and pouting at being last instead of being blasted by the Bowser-shaped satellite since it's not functional.}
Rosalina: (thinking) If only that coin beam were working as intended, I might have won!
Mushroom Kingdom Comics!
Hello, 'Shroom readers! Hint Toad, here, with a brand new comic! Enjoy!
Mushroom Kingdom Comics!, Issue #6, by Hint Toad
Panel 1
[Super Koopa is back!]
SUPER KOOPA: I'll never forget what Mario did to my cape! BUT— All is not lost!
Panel 2
[Super Koopa is shown with a pair of wings attached to his shell.]
SUPER KOOPA: C'mon wings! Do your thing!
Panel 3
[Super Koopa springs into action.]
SUPER KOOPA: SUPER KOOPA FLIES AGAIN!
Panel 4
[Even though Super Koopa tried with all his might, all those wings can muster are just short little hops.]
Panel 5
SUPER KOOPA: curse you, MARIO!
Mushroom Kingdom Comics!, Bonus Comic, by Hint Toad
Panel 1
[Rosalina and a Luma are conversing.]
LUMA: Mama, How does gravity work out here in space?
Panel 2
[Rosalina thinks for a bit.]
Panel 3
ROSALINA: Well... It's kind of complicated.... Normally, the game would just pull your "z" position downward, but instead the game checks to see if you are in a gravity field. There are lots of kinds... spheres, cylinders, rectangular prisms, and once you're in one, the game pulls you towards either a point, line, or plane.
Panel 4
LUMA: Ah.
Too Bad, Storytime!
Written by: Waluigi Time (talk)
Termite Be A Problem
"Commander's log: Approaching the Puzzle Plank Galaxy to investigate a reported disruption via presence of invasive species per the assigned directive, accompanied by Captain Stardust. We encountered a group of spacefarers looking for something called 'Planet Stasiak' en route, which I confirmed does not exist on any of the Galaxy Corps' star charts. I don't consider it a valuable use of my time to speculate further. No further incidents to be reported, and I expect to arrive at the docking station within the cycle."
The shiny bright blue starship finally came to rest after its long journey through space, settling down on an artificial satellite orbiting one of Puzzle Plank's largest planets under the skilled hand of its pilot, the Koopatrol Commander Nebula. Although it had seen plenty of action as her personal vessel, it still looked just about as good as it did the day it left the shipyard, thanks to a rigid maintenance schedule. After all, a commander of the Galaxy Corps had to remain presentable at all times.
Nebula's subordinate, the Goombeetle Captain Stardust, peeked out the ship's window as it landed, the top of her green helmet and glowing eyes barely clearing the console. "Ooh... Launch Stars always make me nauseous..." She knew it was necessary, of course - the planets of the Puzzle Plank Galaxy being composed entirely of wood made it far too risky to attempt using a ship's thrusters on any of their surfaces, and the ecosystem had already seen far too much damage thanks to unauthorized lumber operations during the Koopa Troop incursion - but it didn't exactly make it much more palatable.
"Did you bring nausea capsules?" Nebula asked.
"The ones they keep at base don't really work for me... I'll live."
"Alright, let's get to it then," the commander replied. The two of them disembarked from the ship and walked over to the Launch Star, their boots clanking against the metallic ground of the docking station. Stardust watched as her superior leapt into the Launch Star with no trepidation and was hurled to the planet's wooden surface, landing gracefully as always.
Her own trip was lacking in said gracefulness.
"You good there?" Nebula asked, picking up the overturned Goombeetle and setting her back on her feet. At least she was wearing a helmet.
"N-never better," replied a dazed Stardust as she attempted to stay on her feet, narrowly avoiding collision with a wooden lamppost.
"Now then, I don't see any unusual creatures in the vicinity, so we'd best find the nearest settlement and convene with the locals. It shouldn't be too far from here if we just follow the path. Let's move." With that, the two set out on their mission down the wooden path, and it wasn't long before the ever-observant Commander Nebula noticed something off. "Captain, tell me, do you see anything amiss?"
"Well, there's holes," Stardust replied, glancing around and observing the pockmarked landscape before them, the damage even extending to the lampposts lining the path. "Lots of holes, in fact."
"Correct. And not from a meteor shower, that I can say for sure. I suspect our invaders are responsible for this, which should give us clues to work with."
The space rangers continued until the path led them to the town - a wooden town, of course. The search for their quarry was over, as this town turned out to be overrun with giant insects resembling a termite of sorts, sporting spindly legs and antennae and big eyes, easily rivaling poor Captain Stardust in size.
"Gross! What are these things?!"
"I suspect these are what we were called in for. These seem to fit the reported sightings out in deep space of hordes of insects, come to think of it. I dismissed them as more tall tales from freighter pilots at the time, you know how they are. But then, here they are..."
Stardust instinctively readied her laser blaster at the sight of the bugs, only to be stopped by Nebula. "Hold your fire, Captain! It's a violation of protocol to intentionally terminate a creature native to unknown space outside of self-defense. I can't say that's for sure the case with these, but I've never laid eyes on them before. We'll have to talk to the locals and get a data scan to send back to HQ to confirm."
"Oh, right... You know, half the time you sound like you're reciting the codebook."
"It's my job to recite the codebook, Captain," Nebula replied, her eyes narrowed to show she was clearly not amused by the comment.
"Yes, Commander..."
Luckily, the insects paid no mind to the pair, content with chomping into the buildings of the town and leaving the same holes they observed on the walk in, leaving them to meet with the town's citizens relatively unbothered. Leading the way, Nebula searched for someone to talk to about the current situation until finally encountering a Wiggler out for a stroll.
"Greetings, civilian. Commander Nebula and Captain Stardust from the Galaxy Corps. We were called here on reports of an invasive species, and I assume we've found them."
"Hoo-wee! Y'all showed up just in the nick of time, these varmints have had free run of the place. Landed out in the open country first, but it wasn't long 'til they started makin' a buffet out of the town."
"Are they... dangerous?" Stardust asked.
"Nah, I reckon they're no harm to people, at least," the Wiggler replied, though he briefly stopped in thought afterward. "As long as you ain't a Whittle, anyway."
"I presume you're well acquainted with their behavior?" Nebula asked.
"Yep, they don't do much, just crawl around eatin' wood all day. We've tried to scare 'em off, but they don't take much interest in goin' far for long," the Wiggler explained, crawling over to one of the bugs and giving it a shove with his hand to demonstrate, causing Captain Stardust to recoil in disgust. In response to being disturbed, it merely skittered away a few feet before settling down again and biting into what was a pristine section of wood just moments ago. "Extermination ain't much of an option either, they just don't stop crawlin' out of the woodwork."
"I see. Thank you for the information, we'll take it from here," Nebula replied, confident that she would soon have the situation under control.
With information gathered from the townsfolk, the next order of business was to... gather more information. Specifically, scanning one of the bugs to send its biological data back to Galaxy Corps headquarters and confirm its origins. An easy task, right?
"Alright then, I'll just give it a quick scan with this, then I'll pop the data over to HQ on the communications tablet, and they'll be able to check the database to see if it matches anything on file or we've got something from unknown space on our hands," Nebula explained as she checked the data scanner to ensure it was still properly functioning.
"I'm glad you're going to be the one doing this. I don't want to get too close to those things," Stardust commented.
"There's no need to be so squeamish Captain, it's just one insect. Besides, you're even wearing armor."
"I just... I don't do well with insects, you know? I almost died last time I had to go to Space Junk - literally and figuratively!"
"Arachnids aren't actually insects, you know."
Stardust sighed and opted to not press any further, knowing there was no version of this conversation where she came out ahead.
"Data scanner still works, let's get to it."
Unfortunately for Nebula, while the soft and squishy-looking Wiggler had no trouble getting up close and personal with one of the bugs, her metallic and spiky exterior set off the insect's alarm bells, and it quickly skittered away before she could get close enough for a scan. Undeterred, she activated her jet boots to try and keep up with it, only to find that it just wouldn't stay still long enough to let the scanner do its magic.
"Blast it all! Captain, get over here, I need your help distracting this thing."
"O-okay..." Stardust replied. She may have not liked the things, but she wasn't about to disobey orders over it.
"Alright, you stand ahead of it here, and I'll come in from behind and scan it while you have its attention."
Stardust nervously approached one of the bugs that for now seemed content to munch on a wooden sidewalk, trying to maintain a relatively safe distance that would get its attention but hopefully keep it from jumping on the poor Goombeetle. "It's looking at me..."
"Yes, well, that's sort of the point," Nebula answered, slowly approaching from behind with her scanner to get a drop on the insect. Yet even with its visual focus directed towards Captain Stardust, the heavy clanking of Nebula's Koopatrol armor disturbed the bug - sending it skittering right onto Stardust's helmet.
"IT'S TRYING TO KILL ME!"
"Eldstar's sake. Alright, can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs, I suppose," Nebula grumbled to herself, pulling out her laser blaster and switching it to stun mode. Thankfully, her academy training and years of experience had made her an expert marksman, and she successfully stunned the bug instead of her colleague in spite of all the flailing around going on, making it tumble lifelessly off of Stardust's head and onto the ground.
"W-why didn't you do that in the first place..." Stardust asked, trying to regain her composure.
"I'd hoped to avoid resorting to a stun in case the creature had an adverse reaction, but I suppose it can't be helped," Nebula explained, walking over to the chaotic scene and finally giving the fallen insect a proper scan. "Vitals still seem to be alright, good."
With that ordeal squared away, Nebula pulled out her communications tablet, gave it a few taps, and before long, a green-petaled Crazee Dayzee wearing coke bottle glasses and a white lab coat appeared on the screen.
"Herb, this is Commander Nebula. Do you copy?"
"Loud and clear, Commander. What can I do for you?"
"We've got a data scan of an unidentified creature out here in Puzzle Plank, possibly something from unknown space. I'm sending it over to you now," Nebula replied, wirelessly transferring the data from the scanner into the tablet and over to Herb's end, thus proving the old adage that science is just explained magic.
"Ah yes, here it is. Hmm... Hmmmmmm... Well it's certainly a new specimen for the database, and I'm not picking up any notable similarities to prior data... We can definitely rule out recent mutations or distant relatives of, say, Mandibugs or Flipbugs. Your suspicions that it's from unknown space seem plausible, I would say. If you're able, I would certainly appreciate a live specimen for study."
"We're going to have to relocate these creatures regardless with the damage they're doing around here, so I'll see what we can do. Thank you for the help."
"Anytime."
With her business wrapped up, Nebula put away her tablet to plan the next move. "Well, that as good as confirms it. Eradicating these pests is off the table, so we'll have to relocate them off-world. Ideally, back to headquarters until we find a suitable habitat for them. Gathering up all of them, however... That would require a much larger detail than the two of us."
Pondering the situation, Stardust got an idea. "Did you notice when we got here, all the bugs had left the open, um, plains, I guess, and came into town? We didn't see any until we got here."
"Of course. What are you getting at?"
"It's almost like there's something about the town itself that they're attracted to. I know it's not the amount of wood, because this whole place is wood. So it's almost like they prefer manmade wooden structures to... surface wood? Does that even make sense? Or is this whole galaxy manmade?"
"Most likely a Luma exploded and became the entire galaxy, so it really depends on your definition, but I would say no."
"That's kind of morbid."
"Trust me, you don't even know the half of it," Nebula said, recalling art pieces inspired by the process. "But your reasoning seems logical."
"Anyway, I was thinking maybe we could do a Pied Piper sort of thing to get them to the transport. It would save us a lot of time if it works."
Nebula paced back and forth, considering the logistics. "Hm... If we arrange for a supply drop... Craft a large wooden structure, surround it with one-way forcefields... Rally the civilians and chase the bugs toward it... Yes, yes I think it could work. Excellent idea, Captain."
"Thanks, Commander!"
The plan now firmly established, Nebula arranged for a supply drop from headquarters, and the space rangers got to work making a giant wooden Grand Star statue, hopefully ready to pull the invading insects in like moths to a flame. It was tiring work, but it had to be done, and with great urgency.
"Well, woodworking wasn't part of my academy training, but I think this will do nicely. Not like the bugs will know the difference, anyhow," Nebula said, stepping back to observe their handiwork. "Now we just need to set up the forcefields, and we'll be ready for the next step."
A bit more setup later, the trap was set, and the two of them went into the infested town. Finding a prominent spot in the town square, and of course chasing away several of the bugs in the process, Nebula began to gather up the townsfolk. Being able to amplify the modulator in her custom-built armor was certainly helpful.
"Attention, civilians! We find ourselves on the cusp of solving your insect problem. My colleague has astutely observed that these creatures seem unusually attracted to your town while largely ignoring the undeveloped areas of this planet. We suspect they prefer manmade structures, and to that end, we have created a large wooden statue a few miles outside of town to give them something else to latch onto. What we need now is your help chasing them out of town and to the statue, after which we will safely relocate them off-world."
"Hoo-wee, ain't that something!" exclaimed the Wiggler they had encountered before. "You heard the woman, let's get to it!"
The final stage of the plan was now in motion, and so were the townsfolk. They stirred up a ruckus the likes of which Puzzle Plank had never seen, reinvigorated and rallied together with Nebula and Stardust leading the charge. Their earlier efforts to drive off the insects may have been in vain, but now they had a goal, and it worked like a charm. Soon, all the creatures had been driven out of town to the wooden Grand Star, safely locked away behind the Galaxy Corps forcefields.
"Wow... We- we did it," Stardust said, exhausted from the mission. She was definitely ready to zonk out in the passenger's seat on the trip back to base.
"Oh, I had complete faith," Nebula replied. "Now then, I'll just arrange for them to be picked up, and that will be that. I'm sure it shouldn't take too long for Herb to find appropriate conservation arrangements."
"I'm just glad we don't have to deal with that part too. This was enough for me for one mission."
"Your performance was excellent, Captain Stardust. Well done," Nebula said, offering her subordinate a salute. The Goombeetle responded in kind with an affirmative nod, the best she could do with no arms.
A space ranger's job is never done, but as for our heroes, they had earned a rest before their next assignment. After all, who knows what else the cosmos have in store for them?
The End
Thanks for reading! With Shmaluigi on break for a little bit, and our space-themed holiday special, I couldn't resist pulling out the commander for a little adventure of her own. She hasn't really gotten a whole lot of attention in projects (although she'll be in Mega Brawl 3 soon!) so it's overdue, I think. I also wanted to try doing something shorter and lower stakes compared to what I've normally written for Palette Swap, so hopefully you enjoyed it!
Die WAH With A Vengeance
Written by: ClawgripFan9001
Part 7
Finding themselves in the middle of their debut race in the league taking place at the main stadium on Circuit Break Island, Waluigi and Company engaged in their next vehicular fight with their next rival racing team, consisting of a Pale Piranha, Dark Puff and Pider driving a gray-colored B-Dasher Mk II; The Boggly Roadsters.
Waluigi performed a Swerving Swipe attack on his colorless competitors, ramming his Offroader into their kart to dish out significant damage to them in doing so. The rival racing team of Boggly Woods origin cried out in pain from the attack. Bloolex then used a Cephalopod Zap attack to electrocute his opponents, prompting them to howl in pain in response. Cheesare then closed out his team’s opening turn at combat by pelting his adversaries with a Cheddar Bombardment attack.
“Prepare to get gray-mazed by our enigmatic entrapment skills, colorful cretins!” The Pale Piranha of the bunch, who just so happened to be his team’s driver, taunted Waluigi and Company before firing off a gray-colored fireball from its mouth to burn the heroes, causing them to hiss in pain. The Dark Puff then subsequently slammed itself into Bloolex to damage the Blooper Retainer, before the Pider closed out his team’s turn at combat by firing off a strand of spider string at the heroes, causing them to exclaim in disgust.
“WAH-rrible! How about you get a mouthful of THIS?!” Waluigi grumbled at his enemies before grabbing his whip and lashing the Pale Piranha, Dark Puff and Pider in succeeding fashion, causing the three enemies to yelp in pain. Bloolex then performed his Tentacles of Fury attack on the Dark Puff in retaliation for its earlier Slam attack, rendering the cloud-like enemy out of combat.
Finally, Cheesare aimed his Sla-Douken attack on the Pider of the bunch, rendering the arachnid adversary out of combat as well, leaving the Pale Piranha driver to face Waluigi and Company by himself. The Pale Piranha then promptly spit out another gray-colored fireball at the heroes, but Waluigi and Company managed to dodge the attack, after which Waluigi finished him off by performing another Swerving Swipe attack on the enemy racing team, causing their kart to go spinning off the road before crashing into a nearby fence, totaling the kart in the process.
“WAH-nderful! Just one more rival racing team to take care of, and first place is ours!” Waluigi pumped his fist in euphoria, an equally euphoric grin resting on his face as he did so, with Bloolex and Cheesare nodding their agreement on the matter.
“Yup, yup! Speaking of which, I think I see that particular racing team coming up from behind!” Bloolex pointed out as Waluigi glanced in his mirror, seeing a team consisting of three Hyper Bald Clefts driving a Flame Flyer with a dark green and scarlet red color scheme pulling up to them, an aggressive expression on their faces as they were itching to duke it out with the heroes for the first place position.
“WAH-lrighty then, friends! Let’s-a-rock these walking balls of Kryptonite!” Waluigi grinned eagerly, ready to make short work of the last racing team standing in their way of achieving victory in their debut race.
The heroes’ final opponent in their debut race were called The Gang Green Rocky Rogues, and Waluigi initiated his team’s first turn at combat in this last duel of the race by ramming into the rival team’s kart with a Swerving Swipe, prompting the Hyper Bald Clefts to roar in pain from the impact of the attack.
Bloolex then followed this up by drawing out his Peanut Popgun and pelting the enemy racing team with peanut shells, which proved rather ineffective against the Hyper Bald Clefts due to their rock-hard defenses. “Bloop me and call me Blooperfrass! These guys are rock solid for me to get through using my pistol, halberd, and electrokinetic abilities! What do we do now, Waluigi?” The Blooper Retainer asked with a concerned tone of voice.
“Leave it to Cheesare and Waluigi to clear these guys out then, Bloolex! You sit back until then!” Waluigi advised his Blooper friend, who nodded in understanding and did as his purple-garbed team leader instructed him to do. Meanwhile, Cheesare performed another Sla-Douken attack on the Hyper Bald Clefts, which turned out to be more effective than any of Bloolex’s attacks, with the enemy racing team roaring in pain once more in response.
“This no take long. This end in agonizing defeat for beanpole and friends.” The Hyper Bald Cleft driving the kart for his team taunted Waluigi and Company before executing a Swerving Surging Swipe attack that involved ramming his team’s Flame Flyer kart into Waluigi and Company’s Offroader kart, causing the heroes to wail in pain from the impact of the attack.
“Waluigi begs to differ, stoners! Meet Waluigi’s masterful driving skill!” The purple troublemaker responded before using a Swerving Swipe attack of his own to ram back into the enemy racing team’s kart, causing the Hyper Bald Clefts to roar in pain once more. Bloolex opted to sit out his team’s next turn at combat and do nothing since none of his attacks proved to be effective against the Hyper Bald Clefts’ high defenses. Cheesare then performed another Sla-Douken attack to close things out for this battle, causing them to go rolling off the road, with their kart engine sputtering.
With all of their opponents out of the way, Waluigi and Company went on a straight drive for the finish line, which they proceeded to cross shortly afterward, and the heroes cheered in victory, with the crowd watching the race also cheering happily for the heroes’ victory in response.
“It is over! The Waluigi Fury Roadsters claim first place in the very first race of their career! Congratulations to them for a hard-earned win!” Florian Kniphofia bellowed out with excitement over the stadium’s speakers while the heroes pulled up to the Karting Garage to get their kart fixed up from all the damage it had sustained over the course of the race.
After everything was over and done with at the racing track and the garage, Waluigi and Company met with Florian and Tad Pop back at the Minor League Quarters. “Whoa, mama! That was an absolute hoot down there on the racing track, Walugi! You and your friends really know how to put on an amazing performance when it comes to vehicular fighting!” Florian complimented Waluigi and Company on a job well done for their debut race on Circuit Break Island.
“Mhm, thank you very much, Florian. Waluigi and his friends do try to leave an impression anywhere they go, so this racing venue is certainly no exception.” Waluigi nodded in response, trying to remain polite with the Floro Sapien promoter despite his distaste for him.
“Well, lemme tell you boys; Should you end up wanting to race again real soon, you have the blessing of starting in the lead position, so that should give you guys a real advantage in your next race, for sure!” Florian informed the heroes, to which the heroes nodded in understanding.
“Waluigi and friends will be sure to keep that in mind for when they’re up for another skirmish down on the track.” Waluigi responded to Florian once more, who nodded back in response, satisfied with the purple-garbed menace’s response.
“Good! Anyway, I gotta go now! I’ll leave any other bureaucratic red tape matters in regards to your racing career in the capable hands of Tad Pop! Speak to you boys again real soon!” Florian informed the heroes before exiting the Minor League Quarters, leaving them to the tender mercies of Tad Pop.
“Here is your salary for your participation and victory in your debut race, Mr. Waluigi.” Tad Pop told Waluigi as she proceeded to hand the goliath in purple a single Coin as payment for his victory in this first race on Circuit Break Island. Stuffing this Coin into his wallet without another word, Waluigi nodded in understanding.
“Thank you very much, Miss Tad Pop. Waluigi will see you again real soon.” Waluigi told Tad Pop, who nodded in agreement as she straightened her business suit jacket while doing so.
“I’m most certain you will, Mr. Waluigi. Ta-ta for the time being.” Tad Pop responded before she proceeded to take her leave from the Minor League Quarters as well.
Once Tad Pop had left, Waluigi turned his attention to Bloolex and Cheesare and exhaled in frustration. “Mamma Mia…Not to look a gift Yoshi in the mouth, but Waluigi was hoping for more Coins after all that vehicular vandalism we were exposed to…” He admitted to his party members, who nodded their agreement.
“Yeah, a single Coin isn’t exactly rewarding given all the abuse we went through down there on the race track…Guess that’s supposed to be another motivator for racers to be rising higher into the ranks, huh?” Bloolex gave his ten cents on the matter, to which Waluigi and Cheesare nodded their agreement once more.
“Makes sense to me. I mean, why else do you think this place treats its Minor League racers like dirt? These quarters are nasty, and the payment for racing in the Minor League is abysmal!” Cheesare expressed his frustration on the matter as well.
“What is UP, my friendo?! You and your pals sure knew how to throw hands with us all down there on that race track!” A male voice suddenly rang from the east side of the Minor League Quarters, prompting Waluigi and Company to turn their attention towards the source of the voice, who turned out to be one of the KP Koopa’s from the Soaring Shell-Heads team that the heroes faced during their debut race. “Wah, aren’t you one of those KP Koopa guys Waluigi and his friends duked it out against during the race earlier?” Waluigi asked the KP Koopa in question with an inquisitively raised eyebrow, placing his right hand against his chin as he did.
“Bingo, W-Dog! Name’s KP Calvin, though my peeps call me by my racing pseudonym, Soarin’ Cal! Lemme introduce you guys to the rest of the Circuit Break Minor League Crew!” The KP Koopa told Waluigi and his party, speaking in a street lingo manner akin to that of veteran Glitz Pit fighter, KP Pete, aka King K, a fellow KP Koopa.
“See that Bob-Omb over there? That dude is Robert McBombing, better known by his pseudonym, Bob Bombs! He’s at the top of the Minor League roster here at Circuit Break Stadium, so he’s got plenty of wisdom to share with y’all if you just so happen to need it!” Soarin’ Cal explained to the heroes as he introduced a Bob-Omb on the southeast side of the quarters.
“Fancy meeting the lot of you, sonny boys! Like Soarin’ Cal said, I’m quite the experienced racer in this island’s league, so if you need a push in the right direction as far as racing here’s concerned, just holler at me!” Bob Bombs informed Waluigi and Company, who nodded in understanding as a response.
“Next, there’s Clefthaddeus. He’s ain’t the sharpest rock in the quarry, and he might look unfriendly, but the guy’s got a heart as big as a whale underneath. Just approach him for a chat every now and then, and he might warm up to y’all.” Soarin’ Cal continued as he introduced the Hyper Bald Cleft on the southwest end of the quarters.
“Hi. Me Clefthaddeus. You Waluigi? Clefthaddeus keep eye on you, you keep eye on Clefthaddeus. Everyone happy.” Clefthaddeus greeted the heroes, who nodded hesitantly in response, already dreading having to deal with the broken English speaking Hyper Bald Cleft for the next who-knows-how-many days of their residence at Circuit Break Stadium.
“Finally, that guy behind you is Ian Thieving. He ain’t ‘round these quarters that much, but you can still talk to him just the same, since he’s often roamin’ ‘round the stadium grounds to get the latest juice on what’s goin’ on ‘round here. So if y’all interested on hearin’ the latest gossip from the stadium or Circuit Break Island in general, just go to him.” Soarin’ Cal concluded as he introduced a Big Bandit on the northwest end of the quarters, standing behind Waluigi and Company, prompting the heroes to turn towards him.
“Heh, heh. Nice meetin’ you guys. Like Cal said, I’m the field agent of the Circuit Break Minor League Crew, so if you wanna know anything unusual going on around here, I’m your go-to guy.” Ian snickered, with the heroes unsure if it’s a friendly or malicious laughter, so they once again nodded hesitantly in response.
“Wah-huh. Waluigi’s glad to make all of your acquaintances, and we hope to speak to you all again on a regular basis.” Waluigi responded once all of the formalities were out of the way, hoping he wouldn’t offend his fellow racers with his hesitant nature towards them.
“The feelin’s mutual, W-Dog! We’ll be seein’ you and your posse ‘round!” Soarin’ Cal chimed in response, his voice still friendly as before. Waluigi nodded again as he and his party members began to leave the Minor League Quarters to go look around the stadium for a bit, hoping they would be able to gather some more leads on the next chunk of the Circle of Lightning that was supposedly part of the Circuit Break League Cup.
Once they left the Minor League Quarters, the heroes suddenly ran into Nicky the Spiky Parabuzzy, the mechanic who provided them with their Offroader kart for their debut race. Nicky perked up once he saw Waluigi and Company emerge from their quarters.
“Yo, Waluigi! Great timing, dude! I was just about to go into your quarters there to seek you and your crew out! See, I was wanting to ask you guys something…What brings y’all to Circuit Break Island in the first place? I mean, someone as famous as Waluigi doesn’t come to a venue like Circuit Break Island every day, nor does he sign up for the Circuit Break League all nilly willy, know what I mean?” Nicky asked Waluigi and Company curiously, tilting his head in an inquisitive manner for emphasis.
Waluigi was initially hesitant on telling Nicky about his intentions for being here on Circuit Break Island and entering its racing league, but after thinking about it briefly and realizing that the Spiky Parabuzzy didn’t seem like the type to go spreading rumors like a snoopy schoolgirl, the purple troublemaker deemed him trustworthy enough to share this information with him.
“Waluigi will tell you, so long as you keep this information to yourself, wah?” Waluigi asked Nicky, hoping that the Spiky Parabuzzy would keep up his end of the promise. Nicky nodded in response, lifting one of his toe claws as if making a pinky promise to add further assurance.
“Of course, Waluigi! I won’t go ratting you and your dudes out, you hear? My folks always taught me that snitches get stitches, and I don’t want no stitches on my conscience, you know?” Nicky assured the towering miscreant, clearly letting him know that he wasn’t going to tattletell on the heroes.
“WAH-nderful. Well, Waluigi and his friends are here on Circuit Break Island because…” Waluigi began to speak before whispering the rest of the story into Nicky’s ear, prompting the Spiky Parabuzzy to perk up in surprise.
“No way! That’s, like, totally awesome, dudes!” Nicky exclaimed in excitement.
“Yeah way. But like Waluigi said, you better keep that to yourself, okay? We already got enough trouble with the Minister having his men on our back at all times.” Cheesare informed Nicky in response.
“Of course, bro! Hey, if y’all want to get the ultimate reassurance I won’t tell nobody, how ‘bout I tag along with you for the remainder of your journey? That way, you can keep an eye on me at all times.” Nicky offered the heroes, surprising them.
“Wah-ddaya guys think? Should we take the guy up on his offer?” Waluigi asked Bloolex and Cheesare as he glanced at the two of them.
“I don’t see why we shouldn’t. The more guys we have on our side to whip out the Luffs, the merrier, don’t you think?” Bloolex responded, to which Cheesare nodded his agreement.
“Exactly. Besides, the guy looks like he can handle himself in a fight. He might just make himself useful for the remainder of our journey.” Cheesare chimed in, to which Waluigi nodded in agreement before shifting his focus back to Nicky.
“Wah-ll, you heard Waluigi’s men; Welcome to the crew!” Waluigi grinned as he held out his hand towards Nicky for a shake. The Spiky Parabuzzy enthusiastically shook the rascally behemoth’s hand in response.
“Really?! Thanks a bundle, dude! I won’t let you and your posse down while I stick with you for the remainder of your trek ‘round the kingdom!” Nicky excitedly told Waluigi in a joyful tone of voice, joining the vexatious goliath’s party in the process.
Back in the Minor League Quarters, Waluigi and Company proceeded to take a look at the Circuit Break Leaderboard to check what their current position within the rankings was. They soon found that they were ranked #19 out of 20 within the Circuit Break Leaderboard, much to their dismay.
“Ugh, Waluigi can’t believe that the journey to the top of the Circuit Break League is this lengthy…” Waluigi groaned as he placed the palm of his right hand against his forehead in annoyance, shaking his head for emphasis.
“Word up, Waluigi-Bro! It’s like, totally drawn out to have to be working up such a sweat to get to the very top of the league! But hey, the longer the journey, the more rewarding the ending is, am I right?” Nicky gave his ten cents on the matter.
“Mm, yeah…Waluigi supposes it is. Might as well arrange our next race while we’re using this terminal at the moment.” The purple rabble-rouser hummed his agreement with Nicky’s words before contacting Florian to arrange the next race for him and his team.
Florian appeared on the terminal screen shortly afterward, smiling in delight upon seeing Waluigi on the other side. “Look who it is; Waluigi the Rookie Racer! I take it you ain’t making a social call here, are ya?” The Floro Sapien promoter jokingly asked Waluigi with a lighthearted chuckle.
“No, sir. Waluigi is looking to arrange his team’s next race.” Waluigi responded, cutting straight to the chase, hoping that arranging the next race wouldn’t take too long as he was slowly but surely getting himself familiar with the promoter’s shenanigans.
“No sweat, Waluigi! Get on down to the garage, get yourself a kart, and watch yourself and your teammates make some art! I’ll get the rest prepared in the meantime!” Florian informed the purple-clad smart aleck before disappearing from the terminal’s screen.
Waluigi turned to his teammates and nodded before they began to make their way towards the Karting Garage to get a new kart in gear for their next race within the Circuit Break Stadium. Upon arriving down there, the mechanics gave Waluigi and Company a new variety of karts to choose from. Waluigi eventually settled on a Zipper, which is a kart that he happened to own for professional kart racing back home. He would’ve preferred if this one were in his signature colors of purple and golden yellow like his personal Zipper, but the towering miscreant knew that beggars couldn’t be choosers when they were out on the road for adventure.
Hopping into the driver’s seat, Waluigi gave his partners the freedom of choice which passenger seats they wanted for the race. Nicky chose to ride shotgun with Waluigi while Bloolex and Cheesare chose to ride in the left and right back seats, respectively. Once Nicky’s mechanic colleagues had gotten the Zipper in gear, the tall-built hellion and his team expressed their thanks to the mechanics before driving out of the Karting Garage and making their way on over to the starting line for the next race.
Since Florian said that they were allowed to start in the front position due to their victory in their debut race, Waluigi quickly drove up to that particular position and waited for the race to begin. Soon enough, a jingle began to boom over the stadium’s speakers, prompting the heroes to shift their attention to the podium where Florian stood to initiate the next race.
“Welcome back to the main track, Formula Shroom fans! I’m Florian Kniphofia, though I don’t really need any introduction! Nor does the team starting this race in the head position, The Waluigi Fury Roadsters need any introduction, as far as I’m concerned!” Florian boomed into his microphone as the stadium lights shone down on Waluigi and Company, prompting a series of cheers from the audience, to which the heroes smiled and waved to the crowd in response.
“Heh, heh, heh. If the racers want as much of a roughhousing race as they did last time, a roughhousing race is what they’re going to get.” Waluigi snickered with a mischievous grin as he held his left hand on the steering wheel and his right hand on the gear-shift.
“Gnarly, Waluigi! Let’s show these suckers what we’re made of on the track!” Nicky chimed in with excitement as he was eager for the race to begin, so he and the other heroes shifted their focus back to Florian on the podium, as the promoter was beginning to instruct the racers to prepare for take-off.
“Alright, time to get this show on the road! Start your engines, racers!” Florian began to speak as the racers did just that. “Ready, set, GO!!!” The Floro Sapien then shouted into his microphone while pumping his fist on his free arm for emphasis. Hearing that, the racers all went blasting forward at top speed, Nicky yelling out excitedly as the adrenaline was shooting through his veins from actually participating in a race at Circuit Break Stadium when he’d spent all his previous time working from the sidelines as a mechanic.
The first lap of their next race went off without a hitch, but the peace couldn’t last forever, as Bloolex soon spotted the Gritty Gumdroplets gaining on them, and they were itching to pick another fight with the heroes. “Mr. Waluigi, we got company. Gritty Gumdroplets at six o’clock.” The Blooper Retainer warned the purple troublemaker.
“If those toadies weren’t much of a threat during our debut race, then they certainly shouldn’t be much of a threat this time around either. Attack!” Waluigi declared before he and his team engaged the Gritty Gumdroplets in battle again.
Going first in his team’s turn order, Waluigi used his crossbow to fire purple-colored arrows at the Gritty Gumdroplets. Bloolex then followed this up by pelting the rival team with peanut shells from his Peanut Popgun, while Cheesare shot onion-shaped tranquilizer darts at them using his blowgun.
Finally, it was Nicky’s turn at combat for the heroes’ team, and the Spiky Parabuzzy was excited to get in on the action. “Feel the wrath of my torque wrench, you bottomfeeding boobs!” He shouted at the Gritty Gumdroplets before using his torque wrench on them as if it were a sword, prompting the rival team to yelp in pain from the impact of the attack.
“Get your heads out of your rear ends, you cocky cabal of crumb-thieves!” One of the Goomba’s on the Gritty Gumdroplets taunted the heroes before he and his teammates each proceeded to attack using their species’ signature yet basic Headbonk attack.
“Wah-hee-hee! Those wimpy little attacks didn’t hurt at all! Now it’s Waluigi and Company’s turn!” Waluigi laughed before he promptly fired off another round of purple arrows at the Gritty Gumdroplets, followed by another magazine of peanut shells from Bloolex’s Peanut Popgun, subsequently succeeded by another barrage of onion-shaped tranquilizer darts from Cheesare’s blowgun, ending in another chop from Nicky’s torque wrench.
“Goom-busted!!!” One of the Gritty Gumdroplets cried out as he and his teammates were sent into defeat, the olive green-colored Tiny Titan/Rally Romper they were driving running off the road and into a stadium pillar in the process, totaling their kart.
“Now that’s a match, Hatch!” Nicky giddily exclaimed as he and the other heroes had taken out their first challenger of this next race, with the rest of the team humming their agreement with this statement.
“That’s WAH-ne way of putting it, Nicky. But if Waluigi’s debut race in this stadium taught him anything, it’s to expect plenty more of where that came from.” Waluigi assured the Spiky Parabuzzy as he continued to keep his eyes on the road while hoping that Bloolex and Cheesare would continue to keep their eyes peeled for any other takers in terms of picking a fight with them.
“Speaking of which, Soarin’ Cal and his boys are gaining on us at nine o’clock!” Cheesare warned as the Soarin’ Shell-Heads began pulling up towards Waluigi and Company in a light-green colored Mini Beast/Concerto. Waluigi noticed this as he glanced in his rear-view mirror and nodded with an affirmative hum.
“If Soarin’ Cal is a friend of ours here on Circuit Break Island, then Waluigi has good enough reason to assume that any combat between both parties taking place on the race car track isn’t personal whatsoever, but merely business. Let’s-a get going!” Waluigi mused out loud before he and his party members took on the Soarin’ Shell-Heads once more.
For this battle, Waluigi opened the beginning turn for his party by using his Boomerang Helmet attack to strike Soarin’ Cal and his teammates with a boomerang-esque throw of his Koopa Shell-shaped helmet. The Soarin’ Shell-Heads exclaimed in pain from the attack. Bloolex then used his Tentacles of Fury attack on the rival team for some good old-fashioned fisticuffs, causing the opposing racers to howl in pain. Cheesare then followed this up with a Cheddar Bombardment attack, drenching the Soarin’ Shell-Heads in a dollop of cheddar cheese, causing them to moan in pain. Finally, Nicky closed out the beginning turn for his party by striking the Soarin’ Shell-Heads with a Shell Shot attack, prompting the reptilian racers to yelp in pain.
“Me and my men are really hip, W-Dog! So you and your boys better get a grip!” Soarin’ Cal playfully taunted the purple troublemaker before he and his teammates opened fire on the heroes with their Hell in a Shell Blaster, Blue Flame Boomshot and Prime Mover Precision Rifle, respectively. The heroes screamed in pain as the firepower made contact with them.
“You should know, Soarin’ Cal; Waluigi’s cool but crude, and his teammates are an equal party, dude!” Waluigi used the KP Koopa’s rhyming taunts against him before he once again pulled out his crossbow to pelt the rival team with purple arrows, after which Bloolex picked them off one by one with his Peanut Popgun, Cheesare then nailed them with his onion-shaped tranquilizer dart shooting blowgun, and Nicky wrapped things up with a feisty swing of his torque wrench.
“Aw, shoot!” Soarin’ Cal cried out in agony as his team’s Mini Beast/Concerto began giving out, rolling off the track and breaking down in the process. Waluigi and Company cheered for their victory as they continued making their way towards the finish line.
“Hee-hee! I didn’t expect anything else from a band of brothers as mighty as ourselves!” Bloolex giggled as he and Cheesare continued to look out for any other challengers, which was when the Blooper Retainer noticed the Pokey Poundcakes pulling up towards them in a blue and white-colored Daytripper/Royal Racer.
“Ah, hey! Look at that; Those dopey Pokeys are itching for another fight with us, Mr. Waluigi!” Bloolex pointed out to the purple-garbed hellion, who glanced in his rear-view mirror to check this out once more. He then chuckled mischievously in response.
“If those spiky simpletons want to taste our dust once more, we might as well oblige them. Roll, boys! Roll!” Waluigi exclaimed excitedly before he and his party members attacked the Pokey Poundcakes once again.
Waluigi threw the Pokey Poundcakes for loops by hitting them with a Boomerang Helmet attack as his starting attack for this battle, prompting the Pokey Poundcakes to groan in pain in response. Bloolex then engaged the rival team with a Rapid Halberd Spin, prompting them to roar in pain. Cheesare subsequently succeeded this attack with his Bacon-Jutsu move, causing the Pokey Poundcakes to garble in pain. Finally, Nicky wrapped up his team’s first turn of the fight with another sword-like thrust of his torque wrench, making the Pokey Poundcakes holler in pain.
“Broo, hah, hah…We’re gonna be depleting your HP on a whole higher level…” One of the Pokeys on the rival team laughed and taunted Waluigi and Company before he and his teammates were prompted to pelt them with segments of their body, causing the heroes to cry out in pain.
“Deplete this, you nettlesome nimrods!” Waluigi responded to the Pokey Poundcakes before performing a Swerving Swipe to ram into the opposing racers’ kart, making them scream in pain. Bloolex then followed this up with a Weatherwax On attack, loading up himself and his halberd with electrokinetic power before unleashing it on the Pokey Poundcakes, causing them to jitter and wail in convulsion.
Cheesare then fired off a Sla-Douken on the Pokey Poundcakes, causing them to roar in torment in response. Nicky then ended the battle by using his mechanics’ wheel gun to fire off wheel nuts at the Pokey Poundcakes, defeating the Pokey Poundcakes and shattering their kart’s engine as it began rolling off the road before the Pokeys quickly bailed from the kart before it exploded.
Waluigi and Company were stunned from having inflicted so much damage on their rival’s kart that it eventually exploded. Still, knowing that their rivals safely bailed from the kart before it exploded gave them enough courage to continue driving, in which they did.
“Looks like we overdid it a bit on the Pokey Poundcakes this time around, seeing as their kart went up in flames.” Cheesare remarked as he and his teammates continued to rip around the race track, to which they hummed affirmatively and nodded in response.
“That we did, but seeing as those Pokeys were able to get out of the kart in time and walk away unscathed, Waluigi sees no reason to worry for them. That said, let’s-a keep moving.” Waluigi assured his teammates before they continued moving ahead, with Bloolex and Cheesare continuing to remain perched on the edge of their seats for any other adversaries wishing to assail them. That’s when Bloolex noticed the Dull Drifters coming towards them in a dark gray and white-colored Cheep Charger.
“We got more company, Mr. Waluigi; Dull Drifters at three o’clock.” The Blooper Retainer warned his team leader in purple, who assessed the situation through his rear-view mirror. Tipping his Koopa Shell helmet in response, he grinned.
“Looks like those boring percussion lessons Ma made Waluigi take as a kid are finally beginning to pay off, because now Waluigi can make these dunces’ bones rattle in battle!” Waluigi laughed at his intentionally bad jokes before he and his team took on the Dull Drifters once more.
Waluigi opened this next fight by pulling off another Boomerang Helmet attack on the Dull Drifters, after which Bloolex proceeded to throw hands, or tentacles, as the case may be, with the Dull Drifters using a Tentacles of Fury attack. Cheesare then drenched the undead adversaries in a soggy dollop of cheddar cheese with a Cheddar Bombardment attack before Nicky wrapped up his team’s opening turn by striking the enemy with another round of bolts from his wheel gun.
“We’re gonna be having a skele-ton of fun dealing with you guys again!” One of the Dull Bones on the opposing team taunted Waluigi and Company before he and his teammates pelted the heroes with bones, causing the heroes to grunt in pain.
“Waluigi doesn’t think so, you buncha boneheads, ‘cause Waluigi and his amazing friends are bone to be wild!” The purple troublemaker used the Dull Drifters’ skeleton puns against them before retaliating with a Swerving Swipe attack, ramming into the enemy team’s kart to dish out major blemish on them. Bloolex then rattled their cages furthermore with a Rapid Halberd Spin attack, after which Cheesare used his Ketchupkinesis attack to materialize a ball of ketchup in thin air before shooting it at the Dull Drifters. Nicky then ended the fight by wiping the Dull Drifters out with a Shell Shot attack, causing their kart’s engine to go bust and sending it rolling off the road.
“Bloopin’ A! If we keep this up, we should win first place in nothing flat!” Bloolex chimed excitedly, an equally joyful expression resting on his face as he did so.
Cheesare hummed his agreement. “You could certainly say that, Bloolex. But we’re not there just yet, ‘cause those cloud gazers from Rowdy Cloud 9 are gaining on us again.” The hamburger Spinia pointed out as the aforementioned rival team was indeed coming their way in a white and lime green-colored Sprinter/B-Dasher Mk. 2.
“No sweat, you guys. Just join Waluigi on this rumble, and WAH-tch these losers tumble!” Waluigi grinned excitedly before he and his party members engaged Rowdy Cloud 9 in combat once again.
Waluigi switched up tactics for his team’s opening turn yet again, this time by chucking another Lob-Omb at the enemy racing team, causing them to yelp in pain once the Lob-Omb exploded upon making contact with them. Bloolex similarly switched up his tactics by flinging a Strudel Shuriken at his enemies, causing them to howl in pain in response. Cheesare followed Waluigi and Bloolex’s examples, and likewise changed strategy by hurling a Lhopper Bomb at the Lakitu and his Spiny teammates, causing them to scream in pain once the hamburger-shaped bomb blew up on them.
Finally, Nicky also switched up his tactics by grabbing a liter bottle of soda he had taken with him into battle, shaking it madly and then opening it up to drench the opposing racing team in soda. “Before I got into mechanic work here at Circuit Break Stadium, I used to, like, work at a soda factory. Even though I quit working there a long time ago, the guys at the factory still send me liter bottles of this stuff on a regular basis. So I got like, plenty of ‘em to go around.” The Spiky Parabuzzy explained to his party members how he got his hands on this soda in the first place, who hummed affirmatively and nodded understandingly in response.
“Now, I’m no weatherman, but you guys can expect an overcast on the remainder of your race out here on the track today.” The Lakitu driver of Rowdy Cloud 9 taunted Waluigi and Company, after which his Spiny teammates performed another set of Homing Attacks on the heroes, making them grunt in pain in response. Meanwhile, the Lakitu driver used a Spiny Hatch attack to summon another pair of Spinies to aid him in battle.
“Waluigi ain’t no weatherman either, but you cirrus brains can expect to be vaporized right here and now!” The lofty inflamer taunted the adversary racers in response before he used his crossbow to fire off another round of purple-colored arrows, with Bloolex shooting peanut shells with his Peanut Popgun once more, Cheesare launching onion-shaped tranquilizer darts with his blowgun and Nicky dealing out a nasty whack of his torque wrench, being enough to send Rowdy Cloud 9 out of commission, their kart rolling off the track before breaking down as the wheels fell off.
“Dude, those racers are, like, totally ticked!” Nicky voiced his concerns regarding the feistiness of the rival racing teams, to which Waluigi hummed his agreement whilst nodding it at the same time.
“You could say that again, Nicky. But Waluigi’s used to it from having nearly twenty years of experience engaging in Mario Kart tournaments, where vehicular vandalism is as common as Fighter Flies.” The wicked colossus in purple expressed, to which his party members hummed affirmatively.
“Well, no time to dwell on that! Ian Thieving and his Daring Daylight Robbers are gaining on us!” Bloolex pointed out as Waluigi saw the aforementioned racing team pulling up to him and his party members in a dark purple and black-colored Wild Wing through his rear-view mirror.
“This should be easy enough if Ian and his teammates prove to be as much of a challenge as they were back during our debut race. Let’s-a get going.” Waluigi calmly told his party members, who nodded in agreement as they took on the Daring Daylight Robbers once more.
This time around, the heroes decided to pull off their team order in reverse, thus letting Nicky go first. The Spiky Parabuzzy then proceeded to drench the Daring Daylight Robbers using his Soda Rocket attack, which Cheesare quickly succeeded with another Ketchupkinesis attack. Bloolex then slashed and shocked the Daring Daylight Robbers with a Weatherwax On attack, leaving Waluigi to close things out with a Boomerang Helmet attack.
“Heh heh heh. You guys better hold onto your wallets, ‘cause we might nick ‘em if you let us!” Ian Thieving snickered and taunted the heroes before performing a Swerving Swipe attack on them, using his team’s Wild Wing to ram the heroes’ kart. The heroes grunted in response.
“If hanging out with Wario for twenty-five years has taught Waluigi anything, it’s to always keep your wallet closer to you than anything else in the whole wide world, so checkmate on that, pickpocketing pinheads!” Waluigi snarked back before pulling off a Swerving Swipe attack of his own, after which Nicky drenched Ian Thieving and his team once more with his Soda Rocket attack. Cheesare then went in for another Ketchupkinesis attack before Bloolex wrapped things up with a Gezora Gash attack.
“Ya-a-a-argh!” Ian Thieving garbled in pain as he and his team were sent crashing into a nearby guard rail, totaling their kart in the process. Waluigi and Company rejoiced in their victory before continuing on their way towards the finish line.
“See? Waluigi was right about this fight being easy enough to take care of!” Waluigi grinned as he flashed a thumbs-up towards his party members, who nodded and flashed back a set of thumbs-up of their own. Cheesare then glanced back towards the racing track for more approaching challengers.
“Looks like we got our next set of challengers on our hands; Here come The Boggly Roadsters again!” The hamburger Spinia pointed out, after which Waluigi checked his rear-view mirror as the colorless concurrents began to catch up to the heroes in a gray-colored Daytripper/Royal Racer.
“Then you guys know what to do; Let’s-a color these guys purple with our WAH-fulness!” Waluigi chimed with another excitable grin before he and his party members once again challenged The Boggly Roadsters to a fight on the race track.
This time around, Bloolex was the one initiating the first strike for his team by tossing a Strudel Shuriken at The Boggly Roadsters. Cheesare followed this up by spiking a Lhopper Bomb at the gray-colored guerillas, who cried out once the bomb went off on them. Nicky then added more insult to injury by drenching The Boggly Roadsters with another Soda Rocket, after which Waluigi ended the turn for his team by striking the enemy team with purple-hued arrows from his crossbow.
“A vapid flurry should blow you rainbow riders off course!” The Dark Puff of The Boggly Roadsters team taunted the heroes before using an attack called Gone With The Wind, which involved blowing a harmful burst of wind from its mouth at the heroes, damaging them in the process.
Subsequently, the Pider of the team used an attack called Web Whip, using a string of the material it used to make its webs as a whip to strike the heroes with, hence the name of the attack. Finally, the Pale Piranha wrapped up the turn for its team by using an attack called Pebble Discharge, which involved spitting the aforementioned tiny rocks from its mouth at the heroes, damaging them in doing so.
“Looks like you Boggly Woodbrains are gonna be colored all black and blue by the time Waluigi and his friends are done with you!” Waluigi taunted The Boggly Roadsters in return before he and his party members proceeded to finish off their opponents with a Boomerang Helmet attack, Weatherwax On attack, Sla-Douken attack and Shell Shot attack, respectively, sending The Boggly Roadsters out of combat yet again as their kart crashed into another guard rail on the side of the race track.
The remainder of the race went just as smoothly for Waluigi and Company, as they managed to defeat all of their opponents, maintain their first place position, and win the race. Afterward, Tad Pop paid the heroes their salary for their victory in this race; Two Coins. After another brief yet socially awkward exchange of words between Waluigi and Tad Pop, the latter left the Minor League Quarters in a subsequent manner.
After checking the Circuit Break Leaderboard once more and finding they were currently ranked #18 out of 20, the heroes went for another walk around the stadium, running into Ian Thieving roaming around backstage in the process. “Wah, hi there, Ian. How ya doing?” Waluigi greeted the Big Bandit with a friendly tip of his Koopa Shell helmet.
“As well as can be expected, Waluigi. Thanks for asking. I’m guessing you and your gang wanna know the latest on what’s going on here at Circuit Break Stadium?” Ian asked the purple-clad titan with a curious tilt of his head, guessing that he didn’t approach the Big Bandit for a mere social call.
“Yeah, pretty much. Waluigi figured he might as well hear a little gossip about the kind of shenanigans that go on behind the scenes of the Circuit Break League.” Waluigi nodded, figuring that winning a little information from Ian might help him and his party get a little closer to finding the next slice of the Circle of Lightning that’s said to be here within the racing archipelago.
“Heh heh, I figured as much. Well, I dunno if you ever heard the story of The Sealed Wall?” Ian snickered before asking the heroes about the story he was about to tell them, to which the heroes shook their heads in response. “Well, rumor has it that there’s a sealed wall located within the Minor League Quarters where we reside. Rumor also has it that remains of racers who died during races on the stadium’s main track are stored back there.” Ian explained to the heroes, to which Bloolex and Cheesare shivered in fear, while Nicky was simply bewildered and Waluigi closed his eyes, placing his right hand against his chin as he contemplated what Ian just told him before opening his eyes again.
“Wah, that does sound a little off-putting. Just like that time Waluigi went to his high school reunion. Any-WAH, you got anything else interesting that Waluigi should know about in regards to what goes on behind the scenes of this place?” The thinly-built goliath asked the Big Bandit with another curious tilt of his head, hoping to get a little more information out of him in doing so.
Humming as he thought it over, Ian managed to think of something. “I don’t suppose you guys heard the tale of The Man-Eating Toilet yet, have you?” Upon seeing the heroes shake their heads in response a second time, the Big Bandit proceeded to elaborate. “Well, if we’re to believe this one to be true, in one of the water closets at this stadium, a man-eating toilet lurks, with any unsuspecting racers unfortunate enough to use it being engulfed, never to be seen again.” Bloolex and Cheesare once again shivered in fear upon hearing the story, while Nicky was once again bewildered and Waluigi thought the tale over.
“Waluigi will keep his eyes peeled for any cannibal toilets in that case. Got WAH-ne more story to share before Waluigi has to go on his way?” The purple-clad meager man inquired the Big Bandit one more time before he decided he’d have enough to work with for the time being. Racking his brains for anything else that might be worth sharing with Waluigi, Ian had another tale come to mind.
“This tale is known as The Stairs of Mystery. According to the ones who first told the tale, there’s a room located within the stadium with a second floor that lacks any stairs to move up there. As such, not a single person has ever gone up to the second floor of this room. Not only that, but people who have entered this room have sometimes heard groaning voices coming from the second floor.” Ian explained to the heroes, who once again had the same reactions to the tale as the ones that the Big Bandit told them before.
“WAH-lrighty then. Many thanks for sharing those stories with Waluigi, Ian. Waluigi’s sure he can make do with them for the time being.” Waluigi smiled at the Big Bandit with another friendly tip of his Koopa Shell helmet, to which Ian smiled and nodded back in a friendly manner.
“Heh heh. You’re welcome, Waluigi. You ever wanna hear any other tall tales about the Circuit Break League and the stadium surrounding it, you know where to find me.” Ian acknowledged the purple troublemaker’s gratitude for sharing the stories with him. The heroes then proceeded to go on their merry way within the confinements of the stadium.
Following the next race that Waluigi and Company took on, going through another series of vehicular fisticuffs with their fellow racing teams on the track, winning the race, and moving up to Rank #17 of 20, earning a salary of three Coins in the process, Soarin’ Cal proceeded to walk up to the heroes for another chat with them.
“Yo, W-Dog! Nice job back there on the racing track! You’re really giving those guys paid to haul away kart wreckages from the stadium’s main track a bang for their buck with your demolition derby skills!” Soarin’ Cal complimented Waluigi and his party members on their adept karting combat abilities.
Waluigi hummed in affirmation, tipping his Koopa Shell helmet as he did so. “Thanks, Soarin’ Cal. Waluigi knows his way around a fight on the Formula Shroom tracks from his frequent engagements in Mario Kart tournaments back home, which explains why Waluigi’s so good at it out here on Circuit Break Island.” The rawboned recreant acknowledged the KP Koopa’s compliments, with all of them suddenly perking up at an angered voice suddenly ringing out on the other side of the Minor League Quarters’ doors.
“Get back into your quarters this instant!” The angry voice was revealed to belong to Tad Pop, who entered the room whilst dragging Ian Thieving by his nonexistent ear before letting go of him, pushing him away from her as she did so. “I already told you at least five times in the past that racers aren’t allowed back there at all! Get that through your impish head for once, for the love of Grambi!” The anthropomorphic frog lady scolded the Big Bandit, who didn’t seem to be phased by getting chewed out whatsoever. “And don’t think I wasn’t aware of you following me, either! Cut that out as well while you’re at it! It’s starting to get on my nerves!” Tad Pop added in an irritable tone of voice before leaving the Minor League Quarters once more.
“Busted for snooping around again, I.T.?! Dude, you just live for the thrill of getting under management’s skin, don’t you?!” Soarin’ Cal asked his Big Bandit rival and friend, apparently having seen him getting dragged back into the Minor League Quarters after getting in trouble with management for misbehavior at least a couple of times in the past.
“Heh heh. Sorry ‘bout that, Soarin’ Cal. Wasn’t my intention to bring Tad Pop in here, nor have you and the guys be witnesses to her griping and nagging for the umpteenth time.” Ian snickered, with Waluigi and Company being unsure if his apologies were actually sincere or just run-of-the-mill since this had apparently happened many times before.
“Hey, don’t sweat it, I.T.. With Tad Pop havin’ a personality that goes back an’ forth ‘tween bein’ flat as Mr. Game an’ Watch’s homeworld an’ bein’ coarse as the sandy hills of Desert Land, the lady’s practically askin’ for it.” Soarin’ Cal assured Ian, apparently having no issue with the Big Bandit’s troublemaking ways, prompting Waluigi and Company to shrug their shoulders in response. “But why you tailin’ the lady in the first place? You got the hots for her?” The KP Koopa then asked Ian in a teasing manner.
“Put a sock in it, Cal. I ain’t going after her for any of that. It’s purely business related, since the lady has a penchant for disappearing at the most irregular moments, and it’s that kinda stuff that triggers my curiosity. Speaking of which, I gotta go find out more about other stuff going on around here that raises questions amongst not just me, but the other racers as well.” Ian barked at his rival and friend, then headed out the Minor League Quarters’ doors yet again. Waluigi and Company weren’t sure what to make of the situation, so they just scratched themselves behind their ears with a puzzled look.
“Well, while we all think ‘bout that, why don’t y’all do as you feel?” Soarin’ Cal suggested to the heroes to break up the awkward silence, to which the heroes nodded in agreement, so they went and walked up to the terminal to arrange another race to take place on the main track of the stadium, which was arranged as quickly as it was requested.
The race itself was just as the previous ones Waluigi and Company had taken part in; A typical Mushroom World kart race mixed with demolition derby style vehicular fisticuffs. Waluigi and Company once again started in the front position, which they had to fight tooth and nail to maintain over the course of the race. But with patience, they managed to outlast all of their opponents and cross the finish line in first place yet again, a job well done.
And following that, the heroes were ranked up to Rank #16 out of 20. After being paid their salary of four Coins by Tad Pop and another socially awkward and stiff exchange of words, followed by the anthropomorphic frog’s departure from the Minor League Quarters, Soarin’ Cal approached Waluigi and Company for another chat.
“Man, y’all banged up those busters down there on the track yet again, Waluigi-Man and his WAH-Mazing Friends! Circuit Break Stadium management don’t know how blessed they are havin’ the likes of y’all drawin’ in the crowds on a daily basis, know what I’m sayin’?” Soarin’ Cal complimented the heroes’ gradual rise in popularity within the Circuit Break League.
“WAH-ll, yeah. After all, Waluigi’s a naturally born showman. So Waluigi aims to be a crowd pleaser whenever there’s any venue with crowds involved.” Waluigi pointed out to his KP Koopa rival and friend, to which the purple troublemaker’s party members hummed and nodded their agreement with what he said.
Suddenly, everyone perked up as they heard a cry in pain coming from the hallway. “Aaaah! On a scale from one to ten, this really fucking really hurts! I can’t feel my legs!” The mysterious person wailed in pain as they were being moved through the hallway.
“Come on, boyo! Get a hold of yourself! You’ll be patched up again by the time we get to the medical room! Doctor Highmore, get that boy a painkiller, stat!” Another voice which apparently belonged to a medical officer assured the pained person before instructing his colleague medical officer to give the patient they were escorting medical aid.
“My legs! My legs! They’re shriveled up like a Piranha Plant on pesticide!” The wounded person cried out once more, clearly in a lot of pain as they were being escorted out of the stadium by the medical officers.
“Make way, make way! Medical team coming through with a patient in tow!” A third voice, presumably belonging to Doctor Highmore, instructed people who were apparently in the way of the medical evacuation route they had to take. Once the voices had died down, Waluigi and Company, along with Soarin’ Cal blinked at what they just heard.
“Whoa, total bummer, dude. Sounds like some unfortunate soul just earned himself a trip to the Circuit Break Medical Center.” Soarin’ Cal deduced before turning back towards the heroes. “I’m pretty sure you know like no other how much of a dangerous sport kart racing can be, Waluigi-Dude. So it comes with the turf out here on Circuit Break Island as well.” The KP Koopa said to the purple troublemaker, who nodded in response before Soarin’ Cal walked off without another word.
Afterward, it was business as usual for the heroes as they continued to participate in races at the Circuit Break Stadium, going up to Rank #15 out of 20. Receiving their payment of five Coins for their efforts in the aftermath, Waluigi and Company were yet again approached by Soarin’ Cal for some small talk.
“Hey, did you guys hear? There’s a travelin’ salesman settin’ up shop outside Circuit Break Stadium, an’ he’s gonna be sellin’ his wares to racers and tourists alike. If y’all are in need of some trinkets an’ baubles to spice up your game behind the wheel, I recommend seekin’ out the guy. Don’t let management know you heard it from me though, y’hear?” Soarin’ Cal informed the heroes, to which Waluigi nodded in understanding, yet again tipping his Koopa Shell helmet whilst doing so.
“Waluigi will be sure to take a look as soon as he gets the chance, Cal. Thanks for the advice.” The purple-clad behemoth responded to Soarin’ Cal, who flashed a thumbs up in response before he walked off again. Nodding to his party members afterward, Waluigi took the lead as the gang left the Minor League Quarters before going to the outer stadium grounds, soon enough finding a traveling salesman sitting out there on a rug with a chalkboard next to it.
Said traveling salesman happened to be an anthropomorphic camel covered in cream yellow fur, with dark brown eyes and a matching dark brown spruce mustache who wore a white-colored kaffiyeh on his head along with a white t-shirt and white denim shorts, completing the look with a pair of white cleats.
Approaching the salesman’s store, the camel gave Waluigi and Company a smile. “Salutations, my friends. I am Najib, for that is my name. I came from the faraway sandy dunes of Desert Land to sell my product to passerby people here on Circuit Break Island. Would you like to take a look at what I have on offer today?” The camel asked Waluigi and Company in a friendly tone of voice, prompting Waluigi to hum affirmatively in response.
“Sure thing, sir. Let Waluigi have a look through your catalogue for the day…” The purple-garbed heel chimed with an inquisitive yet polite tone of voice as he began to scan through Najib’s stock. Soon enough, the heroes each settled on a total of three items per person, buying a trio of Ankh Pastries for Waluigi, a trio of Calamarsi Cans for Bloolex, a trio of Dry Dry Fries for Cheesare and a trio of Boomerang Heroes for Nicky.
Najib politely bowed his head with a friendly smile as he received the payment from the heroes for the purchases they made from his shop. “Many thanks for your patronage, friends. Feel free to use my services again at your leisure.” He kindly told the heroes, who smiled back at the camel and gave a friendly nod in return.
“Waluigi and his friends most certainly will, mister. Many thanks for your help as well.” The towering menace acknowledged the shopkeeper’s gratitude before heading back inside the stadium with his party members to prepare themselves for the next race they were going to participate in, now with a couple more tricks up their sleeves courtesy of Najib the Camel.
And with that, we’ve come to the end of Part 7 of Die WAH With A Vengeance! I’m not gonna lie that this part was the toughest to write yet, but I’m glad I managed to g