The 'Shroom:Issue 224/Palette Swap
Director's Notes
Happy November, everyone! Welcome back to The 'Shroom!
Last month, I mentioned that I hadn't started Pokemon Legends: Z-A yet. Well, I have finished the story and moved on to the postgame, and my thoughts abut this game are... mixed. I really enjoyed the setting of Lumiose City (I don't care about the graphics of the windows on the buildings), the Pokemon are so charmingly animated, and it made me so lovingly nostalgic for Pokemon X and Y. But, most of the cast of characters are either extremely bland or some of the worst characters in the entire franchise (looking at you, Urbain), the Pokedex quests are nowhere near as well-thought out at Legends: Arceus's were, and I found some of the stealth mechanics pretty glitchy at times, bordering on unfair at a couple points in my playthrough. This game looks worlds better than Legends: Arceus, the battling is better, but the game is dragged down by the characters and the story. The DLC is yet to release, but if my math is right, I should be talking about it in this space next month, so we will have to see how things go.
All of our writers and artists have worked very hard this month, so I'll stop chattering on up here and let you move on to all the good stuff below!
Happy reading! ~FunkyK38
Section of the Month
Once again, let's head over to the Section of the Month results! In first this month, we have winstein (talk)'s The ? Panel! In second, it's Hint Toad (talk)'s Mushroom Kingdom Comics!. Finally, in third place, we have Waluigi Time (talk)'s Waluigi Time Comic. Congratulations to all of our winners, and a big thank you to everyone who voted! Please keep it up this month as well!
| PALETTE SWAP SECTION OF THE MONTH | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Place | Section | Votes | % | Writer |
| 1st | The ? Panel | 12 | 32.43% | winstein (talk) |
| 2nd | Mushroom Kingdom Comics! | 8 | 21.62% | Hint Toad (talk) |
| 3rd | Waluigi Time Comic | 6 | 16.22% | Waluigi Time (talk) |
Waluigi Time Comic
Drawn by: Waluigi Time (talk)
"Clusterbot"
Panel 1
[Waluigi Time and Spanner are walking together. Waluigi Time is carrying something.]
WALUIGI TIME: Thanks for helping me build my clusterbot, Spanner
SPANNER: Don't mention it
Panel 2
[Waluigi Time holds up a purple Wii Remote with a confident expression.]
WALUIGI TIME: Now let's fire these guys up!
Panel 3
[Waluigi Time and Spanner look expectantly at a pair of robots shaped like a W and T set on a table.]
Panel 4
[The robots are now engulfed in a dust cloud with stars coming out of it. Waluigi Time and Spanner look disappointed.]
WALUIGI TIME: It's attacking itself
SPANNER: By "don't mention it" I mean don't tell anyone I helped
The ? Panel
Perspective: Front facing
{Wario and Waluigi are facing the front. Wario is happily thinking of eating a buffet and playing with his riches, while Waluigi is fantasizing dancing in front of a large audience and going on a solo adventure to a large pyramid}
Perspective: Back facing
{Behind Wario and Waluigi's heads, they are thinking of how awesome their rivals are, ticking them off. Wario is imagining Mario juggling activities well, giving a rousing speech, being on a magazine cover, and donating money to a Toad. Waluigi is imagining Luigi being admired by others, being lucky with finding money, effortlessly getting number one, and winning a mansion}
Perspective: Side facing towards each other
{Wario and Waluigi are facing each other, angered at the thoughts of Mario and Luigi respectively. They come out of their imaginations to side-hug each other and leap in the air while both are seething at them.}
Perspective: Overhead
{Wario and Waluigi's brains are electrified. Wario and Waluigi's thoughts stormed out of their minds to assault Mario and Luigi. Mario is prepared for a fight, while Luigi leapt in surprise.}
Perspective: Underneath
{Wario and Waluigi are angry at the thoughts of Mario and Luigi leaping back into their heads, while the thoughts of Wario and Waluigi are beaten up by them through an unknown method.}
Perspective: Side facing away each other
{Wario and Waluigi are dejected. In Wario's mind, Mario is admired while Wario looks back dejectedly. In Waluigi's mind, Luigi is shaking hands and high-fiving various people, while Waluigi crosses his arms dejectedly}
Title: Swallowed Pride
{Mario, Luigi, Wario, and Waluigi sit at the table eating fast food. Mario is talking, Luigi is eating a fry, Wario is holding a drink and drinking it from a straw, and Waluigi is chewing the burger he is holding. On the table, there is an opened burger, two drinks, a holder for potato wedges with sauce on it, french fries, mashed potatoes with a spoon in it, and a closed container. The fries and the drinks have a smiley face with a tongue sticking out, similar to the Dash Food bags.}
{Relating to "swallowing one's pride: in Wario's thoughts, Wario falls down to the stomach area; in Waluigi's thoughts, Waluigi dives head first down to the stomach area.}
Mushroom Kingdom Comics!
Hello, 'Shroom readers! Hint Toad, here, with a brand new comic! Enjoy!
Mushroom Kingdom Comics!, Issue #5, by Hint Toad
Panel 1
[Two Goombas, walking together.]
GOOMBA 1: I'm tired of being stomped on all the time!
GOOMBA 2: Yeah!
Panel 2
[They come across a store with a new "Shoe" in the window box. The Goombas have glowing eyes.]
STORE SIGN: New Shoe! When Mario stomps, STOMP BACK!
Panel 3
[After purchasing a "Shoe", Goomba 1 hops in it while Goomba 2 winds it up.]
GOOMBA 1: How does it work?
GOOMBA 2: Hold on!
Panel 4
[The "Shoe" Breaks loose with uncontrollable hops! Goomba one is still stuck inside.]
GOOMBA 1: YEE-HA!
Panel 5
GOOMBA 1: Wait... I CAN'T STOP!
Panel 6
[Goomba 2 rushes up help.]
GOOMA 1: AAAAAH!
Panel 7
[The "Shoe" is now seen lying on the ground with dizzy Goomba 1 inside. Looks like they crashed into the nearby hill.]
GOOMA 1: Goombas are NOT meant to wear shoes!
Shmaluigi, Private Investigator
Written by: Waluigi Time (talk) and Boo1268
Midnight Masquerade: Part 2
Well this was just great. I drag myself to Mr. Boo's Halloween party to try and stop a priceless diamond from being swiped by a thieving Duplighost, and I'm barely here for what feels like any time at all before it's swiped from right under my nose. The lights in the mansion go off and something bad happens - honestly, it's so cliche that I should've been genre savvy enough to bring a flashlight. Hindsight, of course, is 20/20.
No matter, now it was time to start interrogating people and get this gem back before it left Killmore Hill. My eyes were set on the pompous Bristles from earlier as suspect number one. Honestly, I doubted that he was a master criminal in disguise - he was drawing far too much attention to himself - but even if he wasn't actually Tripliss, he certainly had a motive for wanting to see Mr. Boo knocked down at this party.
The library seemed as good a place as any for questioning - quiet and out of the way of the party, maybe with something poetic about returning to the scene of the crime thrown in. Mr. Uppercrust was not happy with being pulled away from the party, especially by us, and I could clearly see the confusion and anger behind his cheap masquerade mask as Shmwario pulled him along.
"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS? UNHAND ME! DON'T YOU TROGLODYTES KNOW WHO I AM!?"
"Yeah, yeah, just keep your mouth shut, Pricklepants!" Shmwario growled back at him.
"WELL, I NEVER!"
"Alright, just cool it for a minute," I said, then turned to Shmwario. "That goes for you too, you're not helping."
"Sorry."
"So, Mr. Uppercrust, perhaps you'll be happy to know that the Devil's Eye here was in fact stolen."
The Bristles smirked with quite possibly the most smugness I'd ever seen on one face in my life. "HA! I KNEW IT! I knew your FILTHY commoner hands couldn't resist such a FINE gem staring you so blankly in the FACE! You just HAD to steal it, didn't you?"
"Perhaps that may be the case, but it could just as much be plausible that someone with such a distaste for the presence of 'commoners', as you called them, would orchestrate the theft of the gem themselves to pin it on them," I explained, then turned to look him straight in the eyes. "Don't you think, Mr. Uppercrust?"
That smug smirk was wiped off his face almost instantly, replaced with an indignant combination of shock and pure insult. "HOW DARE YOU, GOOD SIR! I am a member of the MUSHROOM HIGH ELITE! I would NEVER stoop so low as to SABOTAGE another member of the High Elite! I may be what some would call 'pompous', in which they would be wrong about said statements, but I am a Bristles of HONOR, and THAT is something money can't purchase."
"My good man, I hate to admit it, but he's right," Mr. Boo said as he pulled me aside. "For as rude and petty as Richter is, he's not one to sabotage another due to petty grudges, ESPECIALLY with the risk of being removed from the High Elite for such actions."
"Well, if you say so." Normally I wouldn't be one to let someone off the hook just for being emphatic they wouldn't do that, but I had to take Mr. Boo at his word here. For now, anyway. "Alright, you can go for now, sir."
"THANK YOU!" Mr. Uppercrust shouted, though from the tone in his voice I could tell he wasn't actually grateful. "And I'll be SURE to tell the rest of the party what has transpired here, as to, ahem, fill them in, as it were."
"Now hold it right there Mr. Uppercrust, if you're going to go spreading gossip around that could seriously impede our investigation here, and we may never recover the gem at that rate. If that happens, you'll be complicit in the matter, intentional or not." Honestly, I was just making stuff up. Hopefully he didn't know any better.
"My good sir, I may not be a Bristles to soil my honor by stealing a gem... But I am one to see it that the Mushroom High Elite STAYS the Mushroom High Elite by ANY means necessary. Even if that means, oh, I don't know, a fair bit of GOSSIP about what's happening here RUINING Mr. Boo's frankly LUDICROUS plans. Oh ho ho ho ho!"
"Why don't I just punch this guy out and we'll toss him in a closet the rest of the night?" Shmwario suggested.
Thankfully, Mr. Boo interjected before things got really out of hand. "MR. UPPERCRUST! It would do YOU well to know that if you DO go through with your actions, you will not only be seen as a scoundrel for interfering in a police investigation, by proxy of my good man Shmaluigi being not only a previous member of the New Wikisburg Police Force, but also the fact that I myself am very good friends with the POLICE CHIEF, and while you will not be kicked out of the council, the high-ranking members will have a VERY stern word with you for possible SOILING of our good word. Now if you are going to go outside, then do one thing," he said, floating over to Mr. Uppercrust and destroying any sense of personal space he may have had. "Zip, your howling, screamer. Do I make myself clear?"
That certainly got through to him - Mr. Uppercrust must've been more pale than the ghost hovering mere inches from his face. "Y-yes sir," he said weakly, practically curled into a ball, then he left without further incident.
"Well, that was really something. Now who to interrogate next..." I said, pondering our next best move. "I recall that Mr. Gastronomole was approaching the library just after I left, so he was potentially nearby when the crime occurred... We should talk to him."
"Ah, hello there, Detective. Would you like something to drink? I still have that Yoshi Blue Cola I wished to give you!"
"Not at the moment, thank you." If this was actually Tripliss, let's just say I had no interest in consuming anything he offered me. Can't be too careful. "So, perhaps you're not aware that Mr. Boo's priceless gem has disappeared into the mist."
"OH MY!" the mole exclaimed. "I was indeed unaware of this, have you had any luck finding it?"
"Not yet, I'm afraid. But seeing as how you were nearby when the theft occurred, we'd like to ask if you've seen anything out of the ordinary tonight."
"Not especially, no. Everyone enjoyed the fine meals I created for them, and all was going well. In fact, I still have the mushroom biscotti tray here I was going to offer you, if you would like to take a look?"
"Hey, I wouldn't mind that," Shmwario said.
Mr. Gastronomole lifted the dish off of his tray, revealing several servings of mushroom biscotti, ready to be eaten, if a bit less warm than it would have been earlier. It certainly looked well-made, but I was still unsure. Luckily, I wouldn't have to be the one to try them first - Shmwario's eyes lit up as he pulled out a napkin and tucked it into his shirt. "Don't wanna make a mess, dry cleaning is way too expensive these days!"
He wasted no time digging in, and considering he didn't double over in pain or turn any weird colors or anything like that, I figured it was probably safe. I sampled a little of it myself - for investigative purposes, of course - and I could definitely say it was a quality dish. And, well, some skills just don't carry over as a Duplighost. I can speak from experience from the time I tried to copy Tayce T. to make dinner... Anyway, it seemed like Mr. Gastronomole was likely on the up-and-up, assuming Tripliss wasn't also a master chef himself.
We thanked Mr. Gastronomole for his time, but just before he stepped out, he stopped short. "I will say sir, that Shiverian seems very uncomfortable being here. Perhaps he's hiding something? Can't say for sure though. Anywho, carry on."
No wonder the Shiverian looked uncomfortable - he was squeezed into an astronaut costume that was much too small for him, and those seams definitely looked like they were on borrowed time. I guess Shiverian-sized costumes were a rarity. I suspected that his current state at least had little to do with any involvement in the gem theft, but as long as he was here, may as well ask some questions.
"Izvinite, u menya problemy?" the Shiverian said. I could tell from the tone of his voice he was asking a question, but I couldn't tell you what a single word meant.
"I'm just going to take a guess and say you're not from around here?" I asked.
"Net, ya zdes' s yuga Shiveria."
This language barrier could be a problem... "I'm sorry sir, I'm having a very hard time understanding you. Do you happen to speak any English?"
The Shiverian cleared his throat. "Am very sorry, I has not been in, this strana, very long, so English not very good. Am I in trouble? Am very sorry if caused, eh, narusheniye."
Barring an international caper of some sort, this Shiverian didn't seem like our man. If Tripliss was trying to blend in, well, he'd be doing a lousy job disguised as this guy. He was clearly out of his element, and I didn't want to stress him out with any further questioning until I felt it necessary.
"No, you're not in any trouble, we're just trying to figure some things out here. Sorry to take you away from the party, you can get back to it now. Just let us know if you see anything strange."
"Spasibo," he replied, clearly a little relieved though still unable to relax thanks to his wardrobe. He waddled out of the library and shut the door - and at that moment, I heard a loud rip on the other end followed by a sigh of disappointment. Poor guy.
I felt we needed to change our approach - if Tripliss was going to be blending in, he'd probably try to look like someone you'd expect to be at the party. In other words, one of the Mushroom Elite. With Mr. Boo's guidance, we decided to pull aside an affluent-looking Lochlady by the name of Ms. Rarity Alamode, a gem enthusiast and dressmaker by trade.
"Ah, hello monsieur, you are ze famous Shmaluigi are you not?" she asked.
"That would be me, ma'am. So, Mr. Boo tells me you're quite interested in gems?"
"Oui oui, yes indeed," she replied with an emphatic nod. "I am ze FINEST dress maker in ALL of New Wikisburg. All come to see my dresses and wear them. Speaking of, dear, someone such as ze great Shmaluigi must have a special someone in his life, no?"
I wasn't sure if she was flirting, or trying to sell me things... "Ah, well, perhaps, but let's get to the point. I suppose you aren't aware that the Devil's Eye has been stolen?"
"No, monsieur! I was unaware of ze theft! Drat, now I'll NEVER get my inspiration!"
"Inspiration for what, Miss Rarity?" Mr. Boo asked.
"For my winter line, of course! I have been pounding my head on ze wall everyday trying to figure out what to do for it, and I need to do it FAST! I can't sell a fall line in ze winter! It would be oh so catastrophic! So I was hoping to gain some inspiration, through ze Eye! I have heard it shimmers and shines like no other, mon ami."
Well, she didn't seem like the thieving type... I glanced over to Mr. Boo, looking for a signal that nothing seemed out of the ordinary with her, and he shook his head. On to the next one.
Continuing to pursue the elite angle, Mr. Boo pointed us to a green Bullet Bill dressed like a leprechaun. His name was Mr. Dollar Bill, a well-to-do investments guru who Mr. Boo was quite familiar with.
"Too embarrassed to ask for my business card in public, eh? No worries, here you go, BA-BOOM!" he said, extending a business card. "Oh, your costume doesn't have pockets..."
"Ah, no, that's not why we brought you here."
"I see. Well, keep the card anyway, you never know when you'll need it," he said, adjusting his bowtie.
"Now then, are you aware that the Devil's Eye has been stolen tonight?"
"It has?! Oh dear, oh dear... Did you- did you remember to get it insured like I suggested?"
"No Mr. Bill, I did not, my good sir," Mr. Boo replied. "Although now thinking about it, that would have saved us some trouble."
"Well I hope you can find it quickly then, remember that it's always important to protect your investments! BA-BOOM!"
Mr. Boo rolled his eyes. "Then I assume you're going to try and sell me one of those insurance packages of yours after this is all said and done?"
"Well... It's always good to be prepared. Just ask my brother, Medical Bill!"
"How about we talk about it over lunch next week, my good man? How about the Star Café? They always have a fine selection."
Mr. Bill certainly didn't seem like an impersonator from this conversation, and I had more important things to do than listen to these high society guys make lunch plans. "Not to interrupt, but I assume we're done here?"
"Yes my good man, Mr. Bill is clean. I know him, especially when he tries to sell me his insurance packages," he said, then turned towards Mr. Bill with a slightly disgruntled expression. "Even though he isn't convinced to extend his insurance to object possession, which technically counts as theft if taken away from the property!" That must've been a frequent conversation topic between them.
Looking at elites didn't seem to be getting us anywhere, so I thought about what other approaches to take. A celebrity, perhaps? These types of events usually attract big names. I did happen to notice the eccentric Mad Scienstein earlier, dressed rather uncreatively as, well, a scientist. I wouldn't have even known it was a costume if not for the crazy white wig on his weirdly-shaped head.
"I hope you don't mind, doctor, but we need to ask you a few questions," I said.
"Ah yes, likewise. Firstly Mr. Boo, do you happen to have any books regarding ancient magic?" Did... did he just hijack my interrogation? It struck me more as a strange fellow hyper-focused on his own business than deliberately trying to change the subject, at least.
"Yes? I believe I have some here. Why do you ask?" Mr. Boo asked, clearly confused.
"I'm currently researching a mystical force located deep underground, and perhaps with better knowledge of the artifact that laid deep under there, I can ask to allow for an official excavation! Since my previous one was, let's just say, less than legal... I was hoping to speak to you about this matter after the party was over."
I cleared my throat loudly, hoping to get the train back on the tracks, so to speak. "Could we focus on the matter at hand for a second?"
"Ah yes, sorry, I tend to get carried away in my thoughts. What was it you wanted to ask, sir?"
"Someone stole the gem that Mr. Boo was planning to show off tonight, and we're trying to figure out who did it. Are you aware of anything suspicious happening lately?"
"Unfortunately, no. You see I just got here not long before you called me into this room, so I hadn't had time to see anything."
Hmm... That did make sense, now that I thought about it he was near the entrance when I first saw him. Making a mad dash for the front door would've drawn far too much attention for someone trying to blend in and make it practically impossible to claim they had just arrived.
"Oh well, I appreciate your willingness to help anyway."
"Of course, here's hoping you find whoever did it! Maybe try using the scientific method to figure it out! Always works for me!" I supposed interrogations like this were a little bit like the scientific method, but so far we were just slowly whittling down the haystack being searched for a needle.
"My good man, this isn't getting us anywhere. We need to find out who stole the eye and soon, or else this Tripliss fellow might escape!" Mr. Boo exclaimed. "Hmmm... Maybe it would be more efficient to try and look at figures that have an easy way to transport the jewel without being noticed?"
"You have a good point there, Mr. Boo. A diamond that size would be pretty hard to conceal otherwise."
"Especially since from my ghostly knowledge, Duplighosts are unable to disguise items... I wonder, Mr. Shmaluigi, were there any suspicious individuals carrying around bags or other items?"
"I saw a Jibberjay flyin' around with a bag!" Shmwario exclaimed. "Bet that bird's got it!"
I recalled seeing something similar, so we went to go track the guy down. It wasn't very difficult, as we walked through the manor an orange Jibberjay wearing a hockey mask flew right in front of us, cutting us off.
"Hey, I'm walkin' here!" Shmwario grumbled.
"Sorry! Just kidding, not sorry!" the Jibberjay squawked. Peculiar fellow.
"Excuse me sir, but what do you have in that bag of yours?" I asked.
"Snacks! Snacks! Have you been to the buffet table? There's so much great stuff you can't even try it all!"
"Well, it's just that we're trying to solve the theft of Mr. Boo's missing gem..."
"A theft? I'm no thieving bird, that's not my style, style! I'll show you, but don't take any! It's all mine, mine!" the Jibberjay said before unceremoniously dumping the bag's contents onto the floor. Gross. "You happy, happy? No funny stuff here!"
"Aw man, what a waste," Shmwario said, looking at the splattered food with an expression of near horror.
"Waste? It's no waste, waste!" the Jibberjay replied, scooping it back up into the bag with no apparent concern. Some people really need to think twice about hygiene... "By the way, you should lay off the breath mints, cowboy! You could practically kill someone with that much mint, mint!"
"Mint?" I asked. Usually the overpowering odor coming from Shmwario's mouth was garlic breath.
"What? It's a fancy party, I had to be presentable! Otherwise the ghost here mighta thrown us out!" he replied. "Hey, speakin' of food, mind if I go put my snacks in the car? I'll be back in five minutes."
"Yeah, sure, whatever." I doubted losing Shmwario for a short amount of time would make or break this case at this rate.
"Great. Hey Boo, can you get boney boy out there to let me pass through?"
"Of course, my good sir," Mr. Boo said, leaving with Shmwario to escort him out.
I continued looking around for anyone else who looked suspicious on my own, to no avail. Dejected, I returned to the library to take a breather, where I was joined shortly after by Mr. Boo. There clearly had to be something I was missing, but I hadn't the foggiest idea of what it was. "This is starting to get ridiculous. We're following just about every line of picking suspects we can think of and it's all coming up with zero. And we're not going to be able to just keep all of these people in here all night until we find out who the culprit is."
"Blasted Duplighosts are always such tricky fellows! It's always bad that they're copying others, but this one is, as you say, extra crafty! We'll NEVER be able to solve this case!" Mr. Boo said with a sigh, floating into his chair and returning to his cup of tea. "Alas, it seems as if my dreams were only just dreams... Confounded Duplighosts, always so tricky to find and they're never the ones you expect."
Never the ones you'd expect...
Suddenly, it dawned on me. We'd spent the whole night looking at the partygoers from different angles... What if it wasn't any of them? No one we interrogated seemed to be acting out of character, but something strange was going on right under my nose. The doormat, the napkin, the breath mints - I'd been so focused on the case that I didn't even notice it was Shmwario of all people acting out of character! He's always been uncouth, and I knew him well enough that he wouldn't just put up a front on that aspect for anyone, really. And we just let him leave!
"IT'S SHMWARIO!" I shouted.
"HUH? WHAT!?"
"No time to explain, we've got to stop him before he gets away with that gem!"
I rushed to the front door with such urgency that I practically left Mr. Boo in the dust - not my brightest move considering he had to unlock the door for me, but with that obstacle out of the way, I sprinted out into the Lich Yard, soon encountering Mr. Striker.
"WHERE'S SHMWARIO!?" I shouted as I got nearer to the ghastly Dark Bones.
"He just left a few moments ago. He should be halfway across the yard by now. Why?"
"Because he was the impostor all along!"
"WAIT, WHAT!? GO! NOW! YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO CATCH UP!"
Luckily, I had one advantage - my legs were a lot longer, assuming Tripliss hadn't ditched his Shmwario disguise.
I continued dashing through the mire, eventually seeing Tripliss in the distance, still disguised as Shmwario and walking along as if nothing was wrong. I shouted at him to stop as I finally got within a few feet of him and stopped in my tracks.
"Eh? What's up bro, you catch the guy yet?" he asked, turning around to face me.
"Oh, yeah we've caught the guy. Almost, anyway."
"Oh yeah? Who was it? Bet you it was that Crusty guy!"
"You ought to know. You're standing in his shoes."
He barely reacted to that - clearly, he was going to keep the charade up as long as possible. "What are you talkin' about?"
"Hand over the bag, Tripliss."
He smirked, which transformed into a wicked grin, then slowly clapped. "Well, it seems as if you are as good as they say, detective."
In a puff of purple smoke, Tripliss finally revealed his true form - a Duplighost much like Doopliss, with his sheet ending in torn, jagged edges. He wore a little striped party hat with star decorations on the end, which seemed pretty unfitting for a master criminal's wardrobe to me, but what do I know. Most striking of all were his sinister orange eyes.
"I must congratulate you detective, you are the FIRST person to ever figure me out, that shows skill. I must say I'm impressed."
Far be it from me to give advice to criminals, but I couldn't help but think he made a huge mistake trying to impersonate the brother of a detective.
"Now then, why don't you make this easy on yourself?" I said. "Hand over the gem and tell me what you did to Shmwario."
"Oh? Your pathetic excuse for a brother? He's tied up inside a garbage bin in an alley a few houses down from here, he should be fine." Eh, worse has happened to him, I suppose... I could tell that Tripliss probably wasn't going to cough up the diamond without a fight, though. "After I steal this diamond, not only will I be RICH, but will also defeat the ONLY man able to match my intellect and skill, the ONLY one able to combat me - YOU!"
"Me? Really? We've never even met before, why make me your arch-rival?"
"Because, Shmaluigi, you are the ONLY man I know who is able to compete with me! Your skills are the reason why the sinister Monty Brando is no longer in power. YOU are the only reason that so many cunning and dangerous criminals are in jail. YOU are the only one to solve the case through your intelligence alone. I know you've been searching for me for quite some time now, always one step behind me, always on my trail. It was at some point I finally knew that YOU would be my greatest combatant yet! And if I was able to defeat YOU, then I could RULE this city!"
Great, another creep with delusions of grandeur, as if I didn't have enough of those to deal with already. "Well, I'm afraid that all stops here, then."
"Ha! You humor me Shmaluigi, you should know that I am one of the most skilled Duplighosts around. But before we begin, let's make this more fun, shall we?" he said, pulling out two yellow scimitars with a strange symbol on them. That didn't bode well. "These, my good sir, are the Blades of Lightning. I stole them some time ago, and recently I've grown a bit of, say, fondness for them. And who says lightning doesn't strike twice?"
I wasn't sure how I was going to deal with this one - but it seemed like maybe I wouldn't have to.
"I OUGHTA KNOCK YOUR BLOCK OFF!"
There stood Shmwario - the real deal, this time - covered in garbage and visibly fuming. He was never an easy one to keep down, after all.
"Ah, so glad of you to join us Mr. Shmwario, the FUN was just about to start!"
"Shut up! You ruined my Halloween!" Shmwario shouted, then delivered a punch right to the Duplighost's mouth, sending him staggering backwards.
"GAH! You fools really think you can defeat me? Well let me ask you this then... How can you beat the man who can be anyone? I'll make sure your end is SWIFT! HAHAHAHA!" With a quick slash of his blades, thunderbolts rained down on both sides of Tripliss for a brief moment. Yikes. Shmwario didn't seem to care much and rushed at him with all the fury of an Italian chef defending his restaurant. Yeah, that's pretty specific, but it just felt like an appropriate comparison.
"You're gonna be sorry you ever messed with me, chump!" Shmwario said, preparing to charge him.
"Oh please, as if a fool like YOU could ever scare me!" Tripliss replied, transforming into a Pokey and not giving Shmwario any time to react, sending him flying backwards from the sudden punctures. "Get the point? I'm better than you in every way."
He may have been up on his transformation game, but what he didn't have was the numerical advantage - while he was distracted with Shmwario, I'd managed to pull a lantern off a nearby tree and hurled it right at his midsection, sending his segments scattering. Too slow, Pokey.
"Oof! Curses! You're just as clever as I knew you were! Well then, how about this one?" he said, regrouping his segments before turning into a Rrrumba and trying to squash us.
"Come on, is that pebble all you got?" Shmwario said, knocking Tripliss back with a shoulder bash.
"Well if that isn't substantial enough for you, let's put a little SPIN on this then, shall we?" Tripliss said, setting the Rrrumba's rocks ablaze, akin to a Hot-Hot Rock. Okay, I guess this guy was pretty good... "Well my friends, it looks like it's time for things to heat up around here for you two! ENGARDE!"
"Hey, I've got an idea. Why don't we cool this guy down," I said to Shmwario, motioning to the murky lake. That ought to dampen his spirits.
"Ohh, I getcha."
Luckily, it's not that hard to bait someone when they're specifically trying to plow right into you. Luring the rolling Duplighost-turned-Rrrumba towards the lake, we got out of the way just in time, leaving him no time to correct himself. You could just hear the sizzle of all those rocks being doused at once, and I have to tell you, it was a very satisfying sound.
Unfortunately, it being that easy to defeat him was too good to be true. Leaping from the water as a Porcupuffer, Tripliss took on the form of Bowser himself in mid-air, landing on the ground with a powerful thud and stirring up all kinds of flora.
"You two are much tougher than you look, you know, so why don't you just DIE ALREADY!" he shouted, clearly frustrated that he hadn't been able to take us down yet. I think we bruised his ego. He then spewed a relentless stream of fire breath, forcing us to quickly dodge.
"What, that's the best you can come up with? The guy who gets trounced every other Tuesday?" Shmwario chuckled. "If you wanted to get defeated, why didn't ya just say so!"
Taking a running leap, Shmwario managed to clear Tripliss' head and land on the other side of him, grabbing him by the tail and hurling him into a tree with a resounding wooden crack. I might have to warn Mr. Boo about the state of that one...
"RRAGH!" Tripliss growled, pulling himself from the side of the tree. "Impressive! But let's see how strength compares to skill!" Returning to his true form and brandishing his scimitars once more, he pointed one of the blades at Shmwario and shot a lightning bolt at him, lighting him up like a jack-o-lantern.
"Grr... I've had enough of this junk!" Shmwario said, shaking it off and rushing back toward Tripliss, delivering a painful-looking uppercut that sent him hurtling back into the lake. "HAVE A ROTTEN DAY, CHUMP!"
The soggy Tripliss surfaced from under the muck, just in time for his eyes to widen as he saw his scimitars falling in after him, illuminating the lake with sparks, zaps, and shocks.
"That's gotta hurt," I mused. "I'm sure he'll be fine though, it takes a lot more than that to get rid of a Duplighost."
"Serves him right!" Shmwario added.
"OH GOOD HEAVENS, ARE YOU TWO ALRIGHT!?" Mr. Boo shouted. I turned to see him and Mr. Striker running down the path towards us.
"We saw the bright flashes and assumed something bad happened," Mr. Striker added.
"Yeah, we're fine. Shmwario took the brunt of it, but he's tough stuff."
"I assume you were able to catch the criminal responsible for the theft?" Mr. Boo asked.
"Yep, we got him," I said, then turned to look at the lake, pulling a glittering object from amongst the soggy remains of a paper bag and party food. "And I believe this belongs to you, Mr. Boo."
"OH THANK YOU THANK YOU! I truly appreciate all that you have done for me, Mr. Shmaluigi! I could have never done this on my own."
"Oh come on Boo, give us a bit of credit. We DID solve that jewel theft a few months ago," Mr. Striker said.
"All in a day's work, Mr. Boo. I'm glad we got this sorted out for you."
"So... can we get back to that party now?" Shmwario asked. "I didn't get to see any of it, unlike some people. The food better not be all gone by now!"
After calling the authorities to pick up Tripliss, we went back to spend a little while longer at the party. Everything seemed to be going well - besides Shmwario antagonizing Mr. Uppercrust - or so I thought, until one of the cops approached me, a timid-looking Koopa Troopa.
"Um, Mr. Shmaluigi?"
"Yes?"
"Tripliss, um, sort of got away..."
"What do you mean he got away?!"
"Well, the thing is, Johnson got startled by a ghost, and we turned to look - just for a second! And, um, when we looked back, he was gone..." Ugh... I probably would've had better luck leaving him with Shmwario. "He left this note... I think you'll want to read it."
I took the note out of his hands. "Dear Shmaluigi, I must admit, you have exceeded my expectations. It is clear to me now that you are a worthy match against me in terms of skills, strength, and intelligence. We really are alike, you and I, but don't think the game ends here. No, it's only just beginning. I look forward to seeing you again sometime in the future. -Tripliss"
Well, at least he had nice penmanship. Clearly, this wasn't the last I was going to be seeing of Tripliss. Add another rogue to the gallery, I suppose - I'd be ready for him.
The End
Well good news, we finished the Halloween story before Thanksgiving! Thanks again to Boo1268 for collaborating with me on this and providing the dialogue for several characters (Boo1268, Specture, Richter, Gastronomole, Burghnust the Shiverian, Rarity, Mad Scienstein, and Tripliss). With that, I'll be taking a short break from this section, but perhaps there's other characters you'll be seeing in this space in the meantime, wink wink hint hint nudge nudge. See you next time!
Sport Report: The Movie
Written by: ClawgripFan9001
World 5: Mountain Of Merriment - Part 1
Meanwhile, back at General Zellon's castle, General Zellon was scowling, having his arms folded in front of his chest while impatiently tapping his right foot. "Hurgh…That impertinent Sidestepper and his band of no good heroes is starting to get on my nerves…" General Zellon grumbled to himself.
Mario giggled a little bit. "Looks like things are finally starting to turn around for the better with General Zellon's mood souring, li'l bro." He told Luigi with a smile.
Luigi smiled and nodded in agreement. "I agree, big bro. The heroes are starting to get closer and closer to General Zellon's castle, which means that our ticket to the free world is getting closer as well." He replied to Mario.
"Would you two be quiet?! I cannot concentrate on my brooding with you two bickering behind my back!" General Zellon shouted at Mario and Luigi, after which the brothers just giggled and rolled their eyes.
"Father, terrible news from the survivors of Talpidae Tunnels!" Johann shouted as he came running in and informed his father of what went down at Talpidae Tunnels.
"Grrah! Those heroes are really making my blood boil!" General Zellon angrily growled.
"The heroes are currently on their way to the snowy mountainous region of the Dark Lands! If we do not make haste, they could be freeing even more of their friends that are being held up there!" Johann told his father.
"The snowy mountainous region of the Dark Lands? That would be Somber Mountain." General Zellon replied as he thought about his next plan of action against ClawgripFan9001 and Company. "Okay, I know what to do. I will send your third eldest sibling to take care of the heroes." He told Johann before pulling out his communication device once more. "Louis? Could you please come in here, son?" He spoke into his communication device before putting it away again.
Soon after, General Zellon's third eldest son, Louis Daniel Zellon came flying into the room. Like his father and siblings, he was a hippopotamus/pterosaur hybrid, having short shaved black hair and black eyes while wearing a commander uniform like the rest of his siblings.
"Am I needed for your plan, father?" Louis asked in a calm and collected manner, having a calm smile on his face.
"Yes, you are, Louis. The heroes that have been freeing the heroes we've captured are currently on their way to our stronghold over at Somber Mountain. I want you to head over there together with your troops to stall the heroes' progress." General Zellon informed Louis.
"Understood, father. I will make sure the heroes won't set foot in our Somber Mountain stronghold." Louis smiled and nodded before flying out of the room again.
"Boy, Louis was always the calmest and most methodical of me and my siblings." Johann remarked, impressed with his younger brother's calm and collected demeanor.
"That much is true, Johann. It is Louis' calm and collected demeanor and his penchant for quick-thinking that earned him his stripes as a commanding officer within my ranks." General Zellon chimed in with a laugh.
Meanwhile, ClawgripFan9001 and Company were currently traveling up to Somber Mountain in a snowmobile they had managed to nick off of General Zellon's forces. Waluigi was driving the snowmobile while ClawgripFan9001 sat in the passenger seat. The rest of the group sat in the back of the snowmobile, and the Lakitu cameraman was once again filming ClawgripFan9001 as he was reporting live to the viewers at home.
"Ahoy, mateys! Welcome back fer 'nother update on our escapades in the Dark Lands, 'ome o' General Zellon an' 'is dastardly Armed Forces! We've managed ta bring down 'alf o' General Zellon's commandin' officers, an' managed ta free 'alf o' the heroes General Zellon 'ad captured! We currently be tryin' ta traverse a set o' snowy mountains as we try ta make our way t'wards the next stronghold that General Zellon's likely built up 'ere! We'll 'ave more on the story o' our adventure in the Dark Lands as it develops!" ClawgripFan9001 spoke into the camera before turning back towards the road.
Wario shivered a bit. "Brrrr! It's stupid cold up here!" The yellow clad flab monster remarked as his teeth were clattering from the cold.
"Tell me about it! This cold isn't good for my delicate green skin!" Yoshi chimed in as he was also shivering.
"That makes two of us, Yoshi, because this cold isn't good for my delicate pink skin either!" Birdo spoke up, shivering just like the others were.
"What, are you all cold or something? Tsk! Just try to keep in movement a little and you'll be alright!" Waluigi spoke to the others as he continued to drive the snowmobile through the mountains.
Suddenly, the heroes were ambushed by a trio of the Zellon Armed Forces' equivalent to Ice Brothers: Snow Sisters. "Don't take another step further, heroes! We're under orders of Commander Louis Daniel Zellon to keep your greasy hides away from his stronghold!" One of the Snow Sisters firmly told the heroes.
"Yar, that don't interest us a tiny ounce, lass! Now make yerselves scarce, we've got work ta do!" ClawgripFan9001 told the Snow Sisters with a scowl on his face.
"Ooh, we've got a smart-mouth over here. Well, how about you and your silly friends take us on in a game of Track Cycling - Team Pursuit? If you win, you get to pass further up Somber Mountain. If you lose, you're leaving the Dark Lands immediately without the ability to return. Does that strike your fancy?" The second of the Snow Sisters asked ClawgripFan9001.
"Aye, that be soundin' like a fair deal ta me, lass. I don't really be capable o' ridin' a bicycle though, so I'll leave that ta me mateys. Wario, Waluigi, Yoshi, Birdo, do ye think the four o' ye could 'andle these lasses?" ClawgripFan9001 asked the newly freed additions of the team.
"With pleasure, ClawgripFan!" Wario smirked and put his fists together.
"Yeah, we'll take care of this!" Waluigi chimed in with a smirk of his own.
"Mhm! We'll have those meanies taken care of lickety split!" Yoshi added with a determined look on his face.
"Of course, ClawgripFan. Anything to repay you the favor of freeing us from Commander Basil's clutches." Birdo nodded.
"Okay, enough chitchat! Let's get over to the cycling track!" The last of the Snow Sisters declared as the heroes and the villains were beamed away to the cycling stadium where the event was going to take place.
Wario, Waluigi, Yoshi and Birdo were sitting on their bicycles that they were going to use for the event, and they proceeded to wave to the audience, only for them to be met with boos and sneers from them. They didn't let this bring them down, however, as they prepared to take on their Snow Sister opponents.
As the starting shot could be heard, both teams took off pedaling as fast as they could, with Team Wario pedaling the fastest of the two teams. On the final lap, Wario left the team due to him being the leader, leaving Waluigi, Yoshi and Birdo to make their final push for the finish line. Successfully crossing the finish line, they happily cheered with Wario clapping for his teammates' efforts from the sidelines. The Snow Sisters screamed in dismay at having lost as they proceeded to disappear into puffs of smoke, after which the heroes were beamed back to Somber Mountain.
"Ha ha! Get a whiff, Zellon losers! That's the smell of success!" Wario laughed over his team's victory over the Zellon troops.
"Yeah, you peons won't outshine the great Waluigi!" Waluigi cheered happily.
"Woohoo! We won! We should've brought cookies to celebrate!" Yoshi cheered.
"That certainly was no fuss whatsoever." Birdo smiled.
"Yar, well done ta all o' ye! Now let's continue our expedition 'cross these snowy mountains, aye?" ClawgripFan9001 suggested as Waluigi began driving the snowmobile forward again.
After having traveled up a mountain path, the heroes now found themselves driving their snowmobile over another mountain path that went straight. They were then ambushed by a pair of Zellon troops that were the army's equivalent to Cooligans: Sphenispectacles.
"Look, it's a bunch of penguins wearing sunglasses! They remind me of the Cooligans that I employ for the Koopa Troop!" Bowser pointed out.
"You're right, Bowser. These guys must be General Zellon's counterpart to your Cooligans." Winston chimed in.
"Hey, dude. Aren't those the heroes Commander Louis told us to watch out for?" One of the Sphenispectacles asked the other one.
"Dude, you're right. We gotta, like, stop 'em from progressing further through Somber Mountain." The other Sphenispectacle replied before him and his buddy proceeded to turn towards the heroes.
"Dudes, don't move. Commander Louis ordered us to keep you guys away from his stronghold, so be, like, good heroes and turn back now, okay?" The first Sphenispectacle told the heroes.
"Make us, you jerks!" Winston told the Sphenispectacles firmly.
"Dude, bogus. If you try to engage us, you're gonna get punked into submission." The other Sphenispectacle firmly told the heroes as well, after which Winston jumped out of the snowmobile together with the Lakitu cameraman.
"They brought it! It's go time, dorks! If you wanna pass now, you'll have to, like, beat us in a match of Table Tennis - Doubles! If you win, you're free to pass! If we win though, we're gonna kick your butts out of the Dark Lands, and you can't come back!" The first Sphenispectacle firmly told the heroes.
"Works just fine for us, gentlemen. Now let's get going!" The Lakitu cameraman told the Sphenispectacles confidently before everyone was beamed away to the stadium where the Table Tennis - Doubles event would be taking place.
Winston and the Lakitu cameraman were on one side of the table, while the two Sphenispectacles were on the other side. Humorously, the Lakitu cameraman was holding his table tennis racket with one hand while still filming the whole event with his camera in his other hand.
Winston was the first to serve for the heroes' team, and he proceeded to hit the ball forward. One of the Sphenispectacles proceeded to hit the ball back, after which the Lakitu cameraman proceeded to hit the ball back across the table again, after which the other Sphenispectacle proceeded to hit the ball back to the other side once again, and both teams proceeded to have their teammates take turns hitting the ball back and forth until Winston and the Lakitu cameraman eventually emerged victorious in the event, after which the Sphenispectacles squawked in dismay as they proceeded to disappear into puffs of smoke, and the heroes were returned to Somber Mountain.
"Ha ha! No spectacle wearing, surfer lingo slinging Spheniscidae are going to stand in our way of claiming victory!" Winston happily laughed over his team's victory in the event.
"You said it, Winston! We really showed those suckers what for!" The Lakitu cameraman agreed.
"Aye, ye sure did, mateys! I'm proud o' ye fer beatin' those scallywags! Now let's keep movin', fer we've got more o' these snowy mountains ta traverse!" ClawgripFan9001 chimed in as the heroes continued driving over the mountain path in their snowmobile.
Here we are again with the start of Chapter 5 of Sport Report: The Movie! Seeing as most mainline Mario games have a snow-themed world in them, I thought it'd be fitting for General Zellon's Dark Lands to have one as well! When trying to think of a name for this world, I took a little bit of inspiration from the Gleam Glacier world from Super Princess Peach on the Nintendo DS, and since "Somber" was a synonym associated with feelings of sadness, I thought it would make a good addition to the name in combination with Mountain, which comes forth from the Super Mario World-inspired fangame, Monolith's Mario World, which features a world called Frost Mountain. Anyway, aside from that, I don't have a whole lot to say about this first part of the fifth chapter of Sport Report: The Movie, but I still hope you enjoyed it regardless, and I hope to see you again with Part 2 of Chapter 5 of this story in January 2026! Happy Holidays, Happy New Year, and all a jolly good night!
Die WAH With A Vengeance
Written by: ClawgripFan9001
Part 6
After defeating Axel Pickham and obtaining the Gulpits’ Rocks that Captain Bixby needed to power the furnace on his riverboat, Waluigi and Company made their way back down to Port Cotta, going to see Captain Bixby immediately. Upon finding the Bonneter riverboat captain still located by his beloved vessel docked in the marina of Port Cotta, Waluigi handed him the Gulpits’ Rocks he received from Axel Pickham.
“Here you go, Captain Bixby. Waluigi and his friends managed to get you the Gulpits’ Rocks. Turns out the Luff Empire had paid off the Mining Foreman up there in Pancakesburg to cut off Gulpits’ Rocks supplies to all the neighboring towns to slow the process of anyone trying to stop the Luff Empire, but Waluigi and his friends managed to get the information outta him and obtain the Gulpits’ Rocks in the process.”
“Well, bless my soul, I should’ve known that those nasty Luffs had something to do with the lack of Gulpits’ Rocks coming my way from Pancakesburg…” Captain Bixby grumbled underneath his breath before lightening up with gratitude once more. “Well, many thanks for going through the trouble of giving that crooked Mining Foreman a walloping and prying a supply of Gulpits’ Rocks off of him, Mr. Waluigi! I should be able to ferry you and your friends over to Circuit Break Island and back no problem now!”
“WAH-nderful! Waluigi and his friends will make some final preparations, and then Waluigi and his friends will meet you back here for departure, WAH-lright?” The purple-garbed troublemaker suggested to the Bonneter riverboat captain.
“Of course, Mr. Waluigi. I’ll get my riverboat up and running in the meantime. See you and your party back here again real soon.” Captain Bixby affirmed before he boarded his riverboat with his freshly obtained Gulpits’ Rocks in hand.
Taking a walk up the street, Waluigi and his party members entered the shopping district of Port Cotta, heading inside an Item Shop to buy a few things for the journey ahead of them, since they weren’t sure if they would be coming back to the mainland after arriving at Circuit Break Island for a while.
Seeing the bothersome beanpole and his friends entering his shop, the shopkeeper, being a Rex made out of vanilla gelato with fangs made out of ice cream cones and a horn made out of cherry resting on his nose, gave the heroes a friendly smile.
“Ah, welcome to my shop, travelers! Would you like to buy a few things to keep you moving along?” The shopkeeper greeted Waluigi and Company in an equally friendly tone of voice as the heroes walked up to him.
“WAH-huh, that’s why Waluigi and his party came here. A couple of healing items and a couple of tools to use against hostile havoc-wreakers would suffice.” Waluigi informed the shopkeeper, who nodded in affirmation.
“Certainly, Mr. Waluigi! Have a look around, and let me know if you wish to buy something!” The shopkeeper chimed in response, to which Waluigi nodded as he and his party members began looking around the store for items to bring on their journey to Circuit Break Island.
After browsing the store’s stock, Waluigi decided to buy some Gelato Sandwiches, Grape Shroom Shakes and Lob-Ombs, the latter of the three being throwable Bob-Ombs that lacked arms or a wind-up key. Bloolex bought a few Jelly Blooper Pops, Orange Shroom Shakes and Strudel Shurikens. Finally, Cheesare bought a couple Queen Caramel Sundaes, Queen Strawberry Milkshakes and Lhopper Bombs, being large hamburger-shaped bombs.
“Thank you kindly for your patronage, Mr. Waluigi! Feel free to use my services again at your leisure, I’ll be here!” The Rex shopkeeper happily bid the purple-clad menace and his team farewell as he sold them the desired items.
“Waluigi’ll keep that in mind, sir. Have a good day.” Waluigi kindly bid the shopkeeper farewell in response before he and the others left the store. Now ready to head out to Circuit Break Island, the heroes made their way back down to the docks to link up with Captain Bixby once more.
Back at Captain Bixby’s riverboat, the heroes found the Bonneter waiting for them outside the boat. “Ah, Mr. Waluigi! You and your allies made it back here in one piece! Are you sure you’ve made all your preparations for your voyage to Circuit Break Island?” Captain Bixby asked the lengthy smart aleck curiously to make sure that they were ready.
“Waluigi is as sure as the hair on his mustache.” Waluigi assured Captain Bixby, with Bloolex and Cheesare nodding their agreement as they proceeded to board the riverboat in a subsequent manner.
“Very well then, off to the high seas of adventure we go then!” Captain Bixby hollered enthusiastically before he and Waluigi prompted to board the riverboat as well, with the Bonneter making his way over to the steering wheel and pulling the riverboat’s whistle to signal its departure for Circuit Break Island.
On the way to the island, Waluigi and Company saw Cheep Cheeps leaping out of the water, said Cheep Cheeps being made out of gummy candy. They also saw Goonies resting on buoys, the Goonies being made out of whipped cream and the buoys being made out of winegums. Needless to say, the heroes were amazed by the sights as they made their journey to their next destination on their epic quest to reassemble the Circle of Lightning.
Soon enough, Circuit Break Island came into view, Waluigi and Company looking on at the entertainment archipelago with awe and excitement. Captain Bixby smiled too, always getting a kick out of seeing the landmass coming in over the horizon, no matter how many times he’s ferried passengers back and forth.
The riverboat of Captain Bixby calmly sailed into the docks of Circuit Break Island, then stationed itself at the spot where the riverboats sailing to and from the island were allowed to dock. Departing from the riverboat in a subsequent fashion, Waluigi and Company looked around in awe as Captain Bixby joined them on the dock.
"WAH-llelujah! This place looks, feels, smells, and breathes excitement all at once! If Waluigi wasn’t here on business, he could get used to staying here for a while!” The towering bad actor remarked with an excitable grin plastered across his face.
“Tell me about it, Mr. Waluigi! My parents and I have been here in the past, but I always get a rush of excitement and wonder every time I come here regardless!” Bloolex chimed in, his eyes radiating just as much excitement.
“Sure is a marvelous island they’ve set up here! Let’s have a look around here and see what we can find in terms of clues that could lead us to the whereabouts of the next slice of the Circle of Lightning!” Cheesare quipped in an upbeat tone of voice.
“Alright, Mr. Waluigi. If you and your friends wish to return to mainland Waffle Kingdom at any time during your stay here, just come find me here at the docks of Circuit Break Island, and I’ll ferry you back there no problem at all. Good luck out there, yeah?” Captain Bixby informed Waluigi before bidding him farewell for the time being.
“Thank you very much, Captain Bixby. Waluigi and his friends will seek you out here if a trip back to the mainland is required. Take care of yourself until then.” Waluigi told Captain Bixby in a grateful tone of voice before he and his party began to make their way towards the exit of the docks, venturing out towards the cobblestone paths that lead up to the kart racing stadium serving as the island’s main attraction.
Walking up the paths of the Circuit Break Stadium, Waluigi and Company arrived at the front entrance. Noticing the purple-clad troublemaker sitting inside his Waluigi Cloud being pulled by a flock of Paratroopas, a Chomp Bro security guard made out of mango jelly prompted the heroes to halt.
“Terribly sorry, sir. But animals and buggies aren’t allowed inside the stadium. You’ll have to park them in the assigned stable over there if you wish to enter.” The security guard informed Waluigi before pointing towards the stable where other buggies, carriages and the animals that pulled them were placed and taken care of.
“Wah, Waluigi’s mistake, sir. Waluigi’s never been here before, so Waluigi didn’t know the rules regarding steeds and buggies.” Waluigi excused himself to the security guard, with his party members nodding their agreement before the purple-garbed menace began to move his Waluigi Cloud and the accompanying Paratroopas to the stable the security guard had pointed out to him.
“Don’t worry, faithful stallions. Waluigi will be coming back for you as soon as possible. Be brave until then, wah?” Waluigi softly told his Paratroopas, who nodded in understanding before going to lay down inside one of the rooms of the stable and patiently waiting for their elevated owner to return to pick them up.
With his Waluigi Cloud and Paratroopas safely tucked away inside the stable, Waluigi and his party were now free to enter the Circuit Break Stadium without issues. The Chomp Bro security guard from before now kindly greeted the lanky rabble-rouser and his friends as they passed by him, to which the heroes greeted him back in a friendly manner.
Upon entering the stadium, Waluigi and Company arrived in the building’s main lobby, which was swarming with tourists, news reporters, photographers and employees of the stadium alike. Waluigi grinned with delight as he looked around the lobby.
“Wah-hey! Waluigi’s really gotta hand it to whoever designed this stadium; The place really is epic! Once this journey’s over, Waluigi’s really gotta come back here sometime on recreational traveling!” Waluigi remarked in awe and excitement at the flashy design the stadium’s interior radiated, with his party members once again nodding their agreement.
“Couldn’t agree more, Mr. Waluigi. This place really is something else, no matter how many times I come here with friends and family alike. How about we go ahead and have ourselves look around, and see if there’s any dirt we can dig up in regards to the whereabouts of the Circle of Lightning piece that the stool pigeon said was supposed to be on this island?” Bloolex suggested to his beanpolish friend, who hummed his agreement while nodding back in response.
“Sounds like a plan to Waluigi, Bloolex! WAH-lright, friends! This way!” Waluigi declared before he and his party members began to move forward towards a set of dark green colored doors situated in front of them, then passing through them.
Going through the set of dark green doors, the heroes ended up inside the bleachers from which everyone could view the kart races that took place on the stadium’s main racing track. Finding a trio of empty seats, the party promptly settled down inside so they could get a good view of the race that happened to take place right at this moment.
Letting his eyes scan around the track for a bit, one racer and their kart stood out to Cheesare very quickly. “Hey, guys! Check out that kart over there!” The hamburger Spinia pointed out to his friends, who proceeded to look towards where Cheesare was pointing.
The particular kart that Cheesare was referring to was a lime green colored Honeycoupe/Dragonetti with red headlights, orange tail lights, a red seat and an orange windshield. The racer driving it was a large burnt orange hued Bully similar in size to Chief Chilly and Prince Bully, sporting large golden horns while wearing a pair of dark blue sports shades over his burnt orange eyes that were barely visible through the lenses on the shades.
Waluigi and Bloolex looked interested as they eyed the Bully racer and his kart. “Wah, that’s one way to be capable of being picked out in a crowd.” Waluigi quipped as he noticed the racer’s vibrant color scheme, as well as the equally vibrant color scheme on the kart he was driving.
“I’ll say. The other thing that makes him stand out from the other racers apart from that, is his magnificent speed. I mean, look at him go around the track!” Bloolex pointed out as the Bully sped across the stadium’s main track like a Bullet Bill on rocket fuel. Not too long a time after, this remarkable rider crossed the finish line in first place, earning a joyful eruption of cheers and applause from the majority of the crowd currently attending the race.
Pulling into the kart’s pit lane in a subsequent manner, the Bully hopped out of his kart before walking up to a golden colored podium situated in the middle of the grassy field that the stadium’s main track was built around.
“Broo-hah! And that, my friends, is why Boobwuss Yammerton continues to decorate the top spot within the rankings of Circuit Break Stadium!” The Bully racer yelled out in an excitable tone of voice as a Floro Sapien with white petals surrounding its head and a red leather paperboy cap on its head proceeded to walk up to the supposed Boobwuss Yammerton with a microphone in hand.
This Floro Sapien’s name was Florian Kniphofia, and served as the promoter and referee of Circuit Break Stadium and the kart racing league surrounding it. “Congratulations on yet another win on the racing track just now, Booby Y.! Like, you’re a pro behind the wheel!” He congratulated Boobwuss Yammerton while holding his microphone out towards the racer for a post-race interview.
“Well, yeah! My old man, Angsthony Yammerton showed me the ropes of Mushroom World Motorsport since I was just a tiny tin can! And anyone old enough to have seen my old man behind the wheel of a go-kart knows he was one of the best in the biz back in the day, so that makes me the next generation of being one of the best in the biz! People who think they can hold a Candle to the Yammerton Kart-Racing Dynasty on the racing track are outta their minds, and should stay home playing Mario Kart 8 Deluxe!” Boobwuss Yammerton explained the reasons behind his success as a professional kart racer to Florian Kniphofia before chortling in a cocky manner and holding up the Circuit Break League Cup, the Champion’s Trophy of Circuit Break Island’s racing league, above his head.
Getting a close look at the Circuit Break League Cup, Cheesare’s eyes proceeded to widen when he noticed what looked like a chunk of the Circle of Lightning being embedded into the trophy. “Whoa, guys! Check it out! That looks like a chunk of the Circle of Lightning inside of that trophy the guy is holding, doesn’t it?!” The hamburger Spinia pointed out to Waluigi and Bloolex, who also took a closer look at the trophy and had their eyes widened in the process.
“WAH-llelujah, Cheesare! Good eye! Let’s get out of here and make our next plan of action on how to get that slice of the Circle!” Waluigi suggested to his allies, who nodded their agreement before the trio proceeded to get up from their seats and make their way back to the main lobby.
Upon arriving back in the main lobby and having the doors close behind them, Waluigi and Company got down to business. “So, Waluigi’s got two ideas here, my friends; We either fasten the process by nicking that trophy while risking getting the law on our tail, or we take a little bit longer and enter the Circuit Break League as contenders, race our way to the top of the rankings, and win that trophy fair and square, thus keeping the law off our backs. WAH-t do you think?” The purple troublemaker asked his party members after using his brilliant brainpower to devise two different strategies to try and get their hands on the Circuit Break League Cup, thus securing themselves the third piece of the Circle of Lightning.
“As much as it would be convenient to fasten the process by stealing that trophy, I think we could do without having the pressure of the Waffle Kingdom Police Department on our back. That said, I say we pose as kart racers and try to win that trophy fair and square.” Bloolex responded to Waluigi after weighing in the pros and cons of both strategies.
“I’m with Bloolex on this one, Big Purple. Sure, the fate of the Waffle Kingdom might be at stake, but I don’t wanna get into trouble with the constabulary either. So signing up into the standings of the League is the way to go.” Cheesare gave his ten cents on the strategies Waluigi had come up with, to which the purple-garbed nuisance nodded in affirmation.
“WAH-nderstood, my friends! Let’s-a get going and try to get a hold of management so we can get ourselves signed up!” Waluigi declared as he and his party members began to make their way towards one of the backstage doors of the Circuit Break Stadium, which was being guarded by another Chomp Bro security guard, this one being made out of lime jelly.
“Pardon Waluigi, amico. Is this the door leading to the management’s office? Waluigi and his friends would like to sign up for the Circuit Break League as racing contenders.” Waluigi inquired of the security guard, who looked at the towering miscreant in response.
“Yeah, this is the door leading there. Management’s office is through the big garnet colored door in the middle of the hallway. You can’t miss it.” The security guard informed Waluigi as he stepped aside for the thinly-built hellion and his party to go through.
“WAH-lright, thanks.” Waluigi thanked the security guard for pointing him in the right direction before heading through the door and venturing through the backstage area with his allies before arriving at the management’s office, which sat behind a big garnet colored door smack dab in the middle of the hallway, just like the security guard instructed.
Knocking on the door, Waluigi and his party went inside before gently shutting the door behind them, then turning to face management, who looked to be Florian Kniphofia from before, sitting at a desk. Letting out an inquisitive hum as he saw Waluigi and Company enter the office, Florian got up from his chair.
“Hello there, strangers! I haven’t seen you around Circuit Break Island before! What can I do you guys for?!” The Floro Sapien promoter enthusiastically asked Waluigi and Company. Bloolex and Cheesare both had a bad feeling about the floral fellow’s jovial attitude due to the stories they heard about Grubba of Glitzville, but Waluigi kept a neutral mood towards the Floro Sapien.
“WAH-lutations, botanic buddy. Name’s Waluigi, and me and my two friends over here would like to sign up as contenders within the racing ranks of the Circuit Break League.” Waluigi informed Florian while tipping his helmet towards the Floro Sapien to greet him.
“That so, huh? Well, you’ve come to the right place and person for that, my friend! Florian Kniphofia is the name, showing fresh blood in the racing scene is my game!” Florian told Waluigi in an upbeat tone of voice as he walked up to the skinny stormy petrel and proceeded to shake his hand in an equally upbeat manner.
“WAH-nderful. So how do Waluigi and his friends sign up for the Circuit Break League?” Waluigi inquired of Florian as he returned the Floro Sapien promoter’s handshake. The purple troublemaker did his best to conceal his distaste for the promoter’s jovial attitude by keeping a neutral poker face.
“That’s easy! All you gotta do is sign this contract here and now, and ta-da! You’ll be contenders in the League!” Florian informed Waluigi as he pulled out a contract and a pen to sign it. Waluigi and his party members each took a good look at the contract, including the small print to make sure they wouldn’t be signing up for any funny business before each signing their names on the contract where needed.
“WAH-la! Unless Waluigi’s mistaken, this should take care of bureaucratic means in regards to becoming a racer!” Waluigi said after signing the contract, his party members nodding their agreement.
“Pretty much! Now all that’s left to do is think of a cool and catchy name for your kart-racing tag team! Lemme think of something right here and now…” Florian mused out loud, trying to think of a name for Waluigi’s new racing team before an idea hit him. “Alright, try this on for size: The Waluigi Fury Roadsters! Snappy, don’t you guys think?!”
Waluigi and his party members were speechless, sweatdropping at the name of their team that the promoter came up with on the spot. Still, they didn’t want to argue with the Floro Sapien when it wasn’t necessary, so they simply nodded their approval at the name, humming affirmatively as they did.
“Alright, now let me introduce you guys to my assistant manager! Most of the business regarding your racing career, such as payment for races you’ve participated in will be left in their capable hands!” Florian explained to the heroes before grabbing a communication device to contact his assistant manager.
“Hey, Tad Pop! You got a minute? I got a new racing team who’s in need of being initiated into the standings of the League! Please and thank you!” Florian spoke into his communication device before tucking it away again. Not too long afterward, an anthropomorphic frog similar to Tad Rock entered the office. They appeared to be female, having a bright pink skin tone with a snow white hair color styled in a shaggy pixie cut. Her outfit consisted of a white two-piece suit with a purple dress shirt and dark brown leather belt with a silver buckle in the middle.
“You rang, boss? Something about a couple new racers that need to be shown the basic ropes of racing out here on Circuit Break Island?” Tad Pop inquired her boss in a casual tone of voice, displaying a surprisingly laid back attitude for someone of her position.
Florian nodded enthusiastically as he gestured towards Waluigi and Company. “You bet, hun! This is Waluigi, along with his friends! They’re the Circuit Break League’s newest addition to the racing leaderboard! Would you mind giving them a tour of the facility before leaving them to get settled into their quarters?” The Floro Sapien promoter asked his assistant manager after explaining the matter at hand to her.
Tad Pop glanced at Waluigi and Company when her boss gestured to them, then back at him as she listened to his explanation. Upon hearing his request to show the heroes around, she nodded casually. “You got it, boss. I’ll show them around and then assign them to their quarters.” She affirmed her boss’ orders before turning to Waluigi and Company. “Gentlemen, if you would be so kind as to follow my lead?” She asked the heroes, who nodded affirmatively as they proceeded to follow Tad Pop out of the promoter’s office and down the hallway.
“So you decided to sign up to be contenders in the Circuit Break League, did you? Well, you really chose the right career path. The Circuit Break League really is the flashiest kart racing ring this side of the Mushroom World, drawing in visitors from all over the world, including the famed Luigi during his quest for the Marvelous Compass, which I’m sure you’ve heard about at least one point or another.” Tad Pop told Waluigi and his party members, who nodded in response when she referred to Luigi’s quest for the Marvelous Compass.
“WAH-huh, Waluigi did hear about that. Waluigi and his friends are here on Circuit Break Island for similar business, but Waluigi guesses you aren’t interested in hearing that whole story right now?” Waluigi responded to Tad Pop, not wanting to hold up the frog lady’s duties with his long story of how he ended up here in the first place.
“Yeah, if I weren’t on duty right now, I’d love to sit down and hear your story for a little while. Either way, I wish you and your friends luck during the remainder of that journey. But for the time being, I’ll show you guys the first stop on your tour of this place.” Tad Pop informed Waluigi as they stopped in front of a golden-colored door with a ruby red post around it. Knocking on it, Tad Pop went inside as the heroes followed her.
The four of them ended up inside a luxury room with a set of king-sized beds, plush wallpaper and flooring, and en-suite bathroom. “So this place is the Champion’s Suite, which only the Champion of the Circuit Break League is allowed to reside in during their time living on Circuit Break Island. As you guys can tell, it’s the comfiest and aesthetically pleasant quarters of all the ones available here at the Circuit Break Stadium. Maybe you’ll find yourselves lucky enough to be residing here one day.” Tad Pop explained to the heroes as she showed them the Champion’s Suite, with the heroes looking around the room in awe.
“WAH-hey! Now this is the kinda quarters a guy of Waluigi’s status could get used to living in if he were to make a serious career out of this!” Waluigi exclaimed with awe and excitement, his party members affirmatively humming their agreement.
“I’ll say. Given that I’ve been here as a tourist on all my previous visits, I never knew that all of this was behind the scenes.” Bloolex chimed in his ten cents on the matter. There wasn’t much time to dwell on that, however, as Tad Pop promptly turned around to leave the room again.
“Alright, so that’s the first stop on the tour. Now on to the second one. Shake a leg, you guys.” Tad Pop told the heroes, who nodded in understanding as they followed the frog woman out the door of the Champion’s Suite, closing the door behind them in the process.
Next, Tad Pop took the heroes to a set of living quarters that looked to be regular ones compared to the Champion’s Suite. There were other racers wandering around inside this room, which suggested that multiple racers shared the room with one another while each having their own beds to sleep in.
“So this place is where the Major League racers of Circuit Break Island live for most of their careers. Not as comfy and appealing to the eye as the Champion’s Suite, sure, but still homey and proper enough all the same.” Tad Pop explained to the heroes as she showed them the Major League Quarters, with the heroes nodding in approval as they glanced around the room.
“Place does seem friendly enough. Waluigi’s not sure about the racers that walk around here though, but that’s something Waluigi can live with.” Waluigi gave his opinion of the Major League Quarters, with his party members once again affirmatively humming in response.
“Sure is. Just about to be expected from the branch of the League that takes everything a bit more seriously than the other branches, I’d say.” Cheesare gave his thoughts on the room as well. Tad Pop then turned to leave the room again, beckoning the heroes to follow her once more, in which they did.
They then ended up in a room that resembled the Major League Quarters, only much more run down compared to them. Multiple racers were again wandering around the room, though they looked to be friendlier compared to the ones residing in the Major League Quarters.
“Our third and final stop of the tour is the Minor League Quarters right here. The founder of the Circuit Break League originally designed it to be just like the Major League Quarters, but ever since Florian Kniphofia took office as the League Promoter, it became more run down as a means of “motivating the Minor Leaguers to rise higher into the ranks”, as he put it himself.” Tad Pop explained to the heroes, putting up her fingers in air quotes when parroting her boss’ words.
As to be expected, the heroes looked around the Minor League Quarters with a look of disdain resting on their faces. “WAH-rthless, Waluigi says! Waluigi didn’t even know that it was legal for professional kart racers to be allowed to live in conditions like these!” The purple mischief-maker exclaimed with a distressed look.
“I agree with Mr. Waluigi on this one, this is just outright barbaric. Every kart racer, no matter what branch of the League they’re in, should be living in comfortable and proper conditions. They shouldn’t be treated like bottom feeding filth just because they’re at the bottom of the leaderboard.” Bloolex chimed in his agreement, horrified that the Minor Leaguers were being forced to live in such a manner.
Tad Pop hummed her agreement with Waluigi and Bloolex’s statements. “I get that. I tried to reason with Mr. Kniphofia on the matter myself, but that’s fallen on deaf ears every time. Either way, the last thing you need to know about racing here at Circuit Break Stadium is that if you wish to race, you guys’ll have to register for a race to be arranged through the Racing Reservation System over there.” The assistant manager informed the heroes as she pointed towards some sort of computer resembling a Nintendo Switch 1 being mounted on the wall.
“Using that, you can either directly contact the promoter, in this case Mr. Kniphofia, to arrange a race, or view the Circuit Break Leaderboard to check the standings regarding the races that take place in this stadium. Since the three of you are brand new to the League, you’ll be starting at the very bottom of the leaderboard, in the Minor League.” Tad Pop further explained to the heroes, who nodded in understanding when she finished her explanation.
“Right then, that should just about cover everything you guys’ll need to know about being a Circuit Break League kart racer. I’m sure I’ll see the three of you around here again real soon, but until then, have a nice day here on Circuit Break Island.” Tad Pop bid the heroes goodbye with the flash of a V-sign with her right hand before leaving the Minor League Quarters, leaving Waluigi and Company at the tender mercies of the other occupants of the Quarters.
“Well, here’s hoping that reaching the top of the standings here at the Circuit Break League won’t take too long, or else Minister Crêpe will tighten his grip on the Waffle Kingdom to the point where it can’t be pried out of his control anymore.” Cheesare voiced his concerns about this plan, with Waluigi and Bloolex nodding whilst humming their agreement.
“For sure! Waluigi realizes now that we got a lot more than we bargained for with this strategy! But Waluigi’s never had it easy when it comes to adventuring, so Waluigi is definitely used to it.” The purple-garbed featherweight replied to his hamburger Spinia friend.
“Suppose we’d better get ourselves a kart ready to roll out for our debut race so we can get started with this whole strategy.” Bloolex suggested as he floated up to the Racing Reservation System before using it to arrange a race with Florian Kniphofia. The Floro Sapien promoter subsequently appeared on the screen as he saw the Blooper Retainer on the other side of it.
“Hey, hey, hey! If it ain’t one of my brand new kart racers! What can I do ya for, squirt?” Florian asked Bloolex in an excitable tone of voice. The young Blooper too did his best to conceal his distaste for the promoter’s jovial demeanor with a neutral poker face.
“Hi there, Mr. Kniphofia. On behalf of Mr. Waluigi and the rest of our team, I’d like to arrange our debut karting race. Is that possible, you think?” Bloolex asked Florian, hoping that arranging a race to take place at the stadium wasn’t too hard of an endeavor to carry out.
“Easy as pie, my boy! Head on down to the Karting Garage, the mechanics down there will be waiting for you to prepare a kart for you to use during your debut race! Leave the rest to me!” Florian informed Blool