The 'Shroom:Issue 235/Critic Corner
Director's Notes
🎃🎃🎃🎃 HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!!!! 🎃🎃🎃🎃
🦇🌕🦇👻🦇🦇🍬🍬🍬 I've been sooooo busy this month having constant Halloween parties and events immediately starting on October 1st and continuing through the 31st, my perfect dream is being achieved. But what do we know about parties? That sometimes it dies down and you're scrolling your phone, and instead of looking at horrific pictures of war and atrocious political nonsense you can instead be here reading all of these spooooky reviews!!! 🎃🎃
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And now for my regular announcements: We've decided to implement in Critic Corner something similar to News Flush over in Fake News, where no formal sign-up application process is required for one-time or limited sections. From now on if you just want to send in a single review for something you just read, watched played, tried, whatever, you just have to send me your review privately either to me directly in chat, or in a message to me on the forum at least one week before each 'Shroom is to be released! There's no commitment or obligation to provide a full monthly section (although you absolutely can shift it into one if you so choose), just send us your thoughts on a thing and we'll feature it here! If you have any questions or curiosities about this, please feel free to ask!
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Section of the Month
| CRITIC CORNER SECTION OF THE MONTH | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Place | Section | Votes | % | Writer |
| 1st | Anton's Half-Baked Reviews | 9 | 50.00% | Hypnotoad (talk) |
| 2nd | Completion Centre | 4 | 22.22% | Primative (talk) |
| 3rd | Book Review | 2 | 11.11% | FunkyK38 (talk) |
Mr. Hopp's Playhouse Review
| Mr. Hopp's Playhouse | |
|---|---|
 Logo on Steam | |
| Genres | Horror, Action |
| Platforms | PC, mobile |
| Release date | October 7, 2019 |
| Rating | T (13 and up) |
In-game screenshots by Sparks. Played on the mobile version.
In the 2010s, horror games absolutely dominated YouTube. Some of them would become immensely popular because content creators with high subscriber counts played them, such as Slenderman, Five Nights at Freddy's, and Bendy and the Ink Machine. There was one specific horror game I saw years ago that caught my attention - Mr. Hopp's Playhouse.
It didn't have the same popularity as the games I mentioned earlier, but it also wasn't some random spooky game nobody knows about. I first heard of it several years ago from of my favorite YouTubers, TheGameSalmon. As of now, his video on the game is one of his most popular on his channel, with 2 million views and counting. Sam would go on to play the sequels and spin-offs too, although I'm only familiar with the sequel of the game. I should watch the other games too!
Anyways, do you see where I'm going with this? It's October, so I had this crazy idea of reviewing a horror game, that one genre I very rarely play because I'm a scaredy cat... let me tell you that watching someone play through a scary game is MUCH different than actually playing one yourself! But you know what? I may be a chicken, but I'm a chicken that made this review of Mr. Hopp's Playhouse! It's been quite a while since I actually saw gameplay of the first game specifically, so this is kinda a new experience for me... oh dear.
While I don't have a PC at the moment, Mr. Hopp's Playhouse is also available on mobile, and that's the version I played the game on. I also had headphones while playing because it helps with immersion and that the game relies heavily on sound. Oh and I played at night for good measure! I had a light on though... don't judge me!
Before I begin the review, the developer of the series, Moonbit, has also made a remakes of the first two Mr. Hopp's Playhouse games! These remasters have updated graphics, cutscenes, maybe some slight gameplay tweaks and - for the case of the first game - voice acting. They are free on mobile, but cost a few bucks on Steam. I decided to play the original version because it's the OG and the more popular version.
Let's see what Mr. Hopp has to offer! Read on if you dare...
Plot
The premise of Mr. Hopp's Playhouse revolves around a girl named Ruby. One night, Ruby urges her father to take away Mr. Hopp, a very unsettling rabbit plushie made by Esther, Ruby's nana. Ruby's father tells his daughter that Mr. Hopp was made just for her and tucks her in before saying goodnight. Afterwards, Ruby is disturbed to see that Mr. Hopp has disappeared, and tries to alert her parents. Ruby then discovers that her parents are nowhere to be found and tries to head back to her bed to sleep. That's when she sees a giant Mr. Hopp roaming the house... this is no nightmare, so she must escape!
Gameplay
Mr. Hopp's Playhouse is entirely in 2D. The player takes control of Ruby as she explores her house. The controls are simple: you can move left and right, as well as crouch, jump, and interact with specific objects. Ruby can also run if you double-tap a direction (on mobile), although this consumes stamina. If the stamina bar runs out, Ruby can no longer run. Standing still allows Ruby to recharge her stamina. Sounds easy, right?
Well, not really. You only have one thing to worry about - Mr. Hopp himself. After progressing far enough (which isn't very far at all), Mr. Hopp will begin to walk around the house. He only walks behind walls, so he's never on the same 2D plane as you. When walking through open hallways, always make sure that Mr. Hopp can't see you, otherwise he'll rush to your position and give you a big ol' fright! Also, there are toys scattered throughout the house, and stepping on one will make noise, alerting Mr. Hopp. That's why you must jump over all toys you see! However, you could also use toys as distractiins to get Mr. Hopp away from a specific location... strategy! One hallway has Ruby crouching behind furniture to avoid detection from the evil rabbit.
The game has objectives for the player to complete. After one is done, another will appear. The main focus is to find all six tapes, all of them being found throughout the house. They must be obtained in a specific order too, meaning that only one tape appears at a time. These tapes also provide lore about the game, mainly for Ruby's late nana (Esther).
Finally, Mr. Hopp's Playhouse has 12 achievements and 3 endings to get. I only played through the game once, so I got one ending (Escape Artist) and 4 total achievements. The game takes roughly 30 minutes to an hour to complete, so it's short, sweet, and doesn't overstay its welcome. Maybe I'll go back and get the other achievements and endings... when I'm brave enough to return to this game!
I'll judge this game as a mobile player: for a game like this, the controls were nice and responsive. Moving around isn't an issue and I like that running doesn't require the player to quickly tap twice to sprint. Instead, you can move and then tap again to run. Neat! The layout of the house isn't big, so you'll pass through the same rooms often, at least if you're going for the ending I got. Despite that, new surprises occur the farther you progress. More on that below!
I also appreciate that the game barely features ads. I only got one ad during my playthrough, and that was when I caught got by Mr. Hopp. The main menu features a banner at the top of the screen, but it's small and doesn't cover up anything.
The game was never boring thanks to Mr. Hopp! It didn't get repetitive due to it being in the shorter side too.
Atmosphere
Atmosphere is what makes a horror game... a horror game. Does Mr. Hopp's Playhouse have a great atmosphere? The short answer is - yes!
The game looks like a Super Nintendo (SNES) game with a gorgeous pixel artstyle. I wanna compare it to Clock Tower. The audio however sounds modern, which isn't bad. In fact, I'd say it makes players more immersed into the game!
The most common sound you'll hear comes from Mr. Hopp; an eerie music box that sounds kinda distorted accompanied by thumping footsteps. These serve as indications on where Mr. Hopp is, although, the sounds play out of both speakers at the same time. This means that I don't know where Mr. Hopp usually is, even with headphones on. I did notice that the footsteps get slightly louder when Mr. Hopp approaches, but the music box stays at the same level. I wish that I could only hear from one speaker whenever Mr. Hopp was to the left or right, but the rooms aren't that big to begin with save for the hallway, so I don't mind it too much.
As I collected more tapes, I noticed that Mr. Hopp himself began to get more and more distorted. His eyes became black and empty, and looked to drip black ooze. That's great! I like subtle changes like that. Additionally, the game contains a few moments that'll make you jump in fright, like when Mr. Hopp broke a hole in the wall! All of these moments got me pretty good to say the least. The game only does this a few times, so it's not excessive. Note that there's a jumpscare if you get caught by Mr. Hopp too, but if you're good at the game you won't see it.
I was TERRIFIED when I began exploring the house, even more so once Mr. Hopp showed up. I had to carefully make my way to the next room while not getting caught. Heck, there were times where I thought I wasn't gonna make it, so I closed and covered my eyes with one of my hands as I kept running... oh man! Once I collected a tape or two, I got calmer now that I knew what I was doing, except for when something sudden happens.
I guess I'll mention secrets while I'm still talking about atmosphere. According to the achievements, there are 6 secrets to find, most of them referencing other horror media franchises. One secret I found was when I inputted "1987" into a safe; the safe opened to reveal a black top hat while a deep laugh was heard. This is a reference to Golden Freddy from Five Nights at Freddy's, particularly the Custom Night Easter Egg. Or it could be the Bite-- never mind.
I think I ran into a sound glitch while playing, but it could be intentional; two of the tapes I collected "removed" the sounds from Mr. Hopp, but I could hear tiny fragments that happen for like a millisecond at random intervals. I don't know how to describe this, actually. The sounds "returned" after a jumpscare happened, so I actually don't know if this is a glitch or not. It didn't affect gameplay much at least!
So yeah, atmosphere is very well done. I was pretty much in edge from start to finish, which is exactly what a horror game should do! Mission accomplished, Moonbit.
Conclusion
Although I didn't play it to 100% completion, Mr. Hopp's Playhouse is a fantastic horror game well worth your time, no matter which platform you play it on. Simple yet engaging gameplay combined with a fantastic atmosphere make this a 5/5 star game for me! Maybe I should actually give it a 5 star review...
The best part is that it's also FREE on Steam! If you wish to play this game yourself, please note that the game contains flashing lights, jumpscares, and loud sounds. Don't say I didn't warn you!
Yoshi18 Reviews
Hey everyone! Welcome back to Yoshi18 Reviews! This time I'll review what used to be my favorite game: Fall Guys!
Fall Guys
I remember the first day playing this game and instantly being sold like it was yesterday. But let's look at the history of the game for a second, because for this game, it really wasn't that rainbow-colored
2020 – 2022: The Free Era
While I haven't played here myself, I've heard the game was very good back then. Due to you needing to buy the game to play it, everything else in the game was free. Back when everything was still good and the game wasn't money hungry. The game has four game modes: Course (originally called Race), Survival, Points (originally called Hunt), Team and Final . I wish I was there, but sadly the game wasn't on the Nintendo Switch yet. I started playing when the game became Free-For-All (FFA)/Free-To-Play (F2P).
Mid-2022: The Good FFA Era
This was a very short era and the first era where I started playing the game. Why is it so short do you ask? Well this was before the Nintendo Switch brought many bugs to the game. It was very short, yeah, but this was the FFA era at its best.
Late 2022 – Mid-2025: The Decline Era
This is where the game went from the best ever to bad. It became really apparent that the money-hungry Epic Games only cared about the money and not the game or its players. Starting with SS2, they started "vaulting" rounds (due to the numerous bugs of the Switch version). "Vaulting" here means that they removed broken maps out of the round selection. At the end of SS2, more than half of the roundpool wasn't playable. This was of course very annoying, considering most of my (and of course other people's) rounds were in there. And now there was no way to play them. Although, near the end of SS2, there was a Show (Shows are the game modes) added that you can only play in Custom Lobbies, called The Vault. It had every single round. Well, until they removed 2 rounds even from there, because they were apparently so buggy. Since SS2, vaulting was a permanent thing in Fall Guys (thanks a lot, Switch). That's honestly the biggest thing of this era. For the rest, what I can say is: SS3 was pretty boring and long. The theming and new rounds didn't really speak to me. Some rounds were unvaulted but not much. Another notable thing is that in SS4 we got Fall Guys Creative. A level editor (so basically like Super Mario Maker and Super Mario Maker 2. Which seemed the great, but we have learned that since the game went F2P, the developers couldn't do anything right. The level editor sadly looked nowhere near as good as in its reveal trailer. Which is extremely sad, because a level editor has lots of potential. After SS4, they stopped doing seasons for the game and instead released monthly updates until Mid-2025. During these times, many people of the staff was also laid off. Twice.
Mid-2025 – Present
This is where we are now. After the Tropical Tides Update, which released in July 2025, the game and its social media accounts went radio silent. No updates, no posts (on social media). Nothing. For over 400 days. And of course, for an online service game like Fall Guys, that's a really long time. The game is pretty much dead now. Even if it's not literally shutdown, it's on life support. And I don't think the game will ever get the comeback it deserves. Once again, very sad, because this game has so much potential and all of that is now just getting thrown into the trash.
But hey, at the end of the day, maybe it's all just meant to be like this. I recommend trying the game out once. It likely won't be your go-to game, like how it was mine back in 2022, but playing just one game of it is lots of fun. Just don't overdo it or it'll become boring.
This one was a bit longer than usual. Glad that I could share this story with you guys, because it's actually sad and pathetic how they killed off the game.
The Frightful Third Top 13 Spooky Video Game Halloween Songs
Hello dear readers of The 'Shroom! It's that time of year once again, can you believe that Halloween is only two weeks away? I can! As such, it's time to ONCE again show you all my Top 13 Video Game Halloween/Spooky Songs with this frightfully fun trilogy! But don't worry dear readers, I won't be taking over The 'Shroom again this year. Nope, this time around we’ll just be enjoying the scares, candy, costumes, decorations, scary movies, jack-o-lanterns, ghosts, ghouls, the living dead and music that comes with said holiday! So let us begin our countdown once again!
First up, same as last time we have our Honorable Mentions:
- Lavender Town: This song has a constant spooky theme that fills you with a sense of bleakness and sadness. A great theme on its own, but is slightly lacking when compared to others on this list thus unfortunately ending up as an honorable mention.
- 3D World Ghost House theme (Moonlit Masquerade): This theme sounds like an enhanced version of Shadows Dancing with more wonderful orchestral music that exemplifies the ghost house theme. I call it Moonlit Masquerade.
- A Million Gruesome Ways To DIE: This is one of the songs on this list that have lyrics! "A Million Gruesome Ways To DIE" is a fun, boppy tune that makes you feel like partying with a bunch of spirits, which I can thoroughly enjoy, although in recent years despite this songs boppy tune, it simply doesn't hit quite the same as it used too since nowadays it is very much outclassed by other songs on this list. Also, since this song is used for a chase scene, I don't think anyone will be dying anytime soon.
- Twisted Mansion: A spooky track for a spooky course. The twisting theme of the song is representative of the course itself with its constant twists and turns and confusing geometry, however compared to all the other entries on this list, it slowly but surely lost its gusto as better and more spooky tracks were brought to the fray. As such, despite its long reign, it's now an honorable mention.
- 13. Old Clockworks: A truly haunting song that makes it feel like you're exploring a place lost to time, with the organ showing off the theme of ages long since past.
- 12. Little Crops of Horror: It has a very haunting start that makes you feel like you're delving into something serious, but then immediately hits you with a bopping but spooky tune, which isn't a bad thing but it feels like it needs something more.
- 11. Crow in the Shadows: Truly a ghostly chase theme in its entirety. The feeling of ghosts getting closer to you as you move along as the song indicates that you're just BARELY running from a ghostly threat, a truly spine tingling theme. However, nowadays it's outclassed by others on the list, still a good track however.
- 10. La Danse Macabre: An epic theme that makes you feel like you're traversing a medieval graveyard with the spirits attacking you from every corner, so watch your back or else you might end up in the grave, so STEEL THY SHOVEL!
- 9. Rise of the Werepigs: A haunting tune with an epic guitar solo. That is the theme of the werepig in its entirety, and it truly makes you feel like this is playing in the full moon with werewolves on the prowl.
- 8. Pitch Black Valley: This sinister theme also coming from Kirby and the Forgotten Land is a remix of "Pitch Black Horror" from earlier in the game. Despite this, the song, while still keeping the same overall flow of the original song, manages to remix it and change it as its own. With this song taking place in the pitch black of the desert, it emulates the feeling of traveling within an ancient tomb, the thematic instruments really selling you on the Egyptian theme of it, with clarinet playing throughout really selling the aesthetic.
- 7. Boo Lake: The theme perfectly amplified the theme of the original track making it feel even more haunted, like the water holding the souls of the damned or that the lake is cursed in some way. For me, it's the perfect spot to go fishing!
- 6. ALONE: This final boss theme from the recent FNAF fan game The Flipside manages to make not only a creepy but also FUNKY final boss theme for such an interesting fan game, with the implementation of the All Alone song by John McCormack twisting the lyrics “you seem to haunt me night and day” into a way that fits the theme of the story behind the chapter's main antagonist.
- 5. Halloween Arena (Goblinstein): This spooky arena theme for the mobile game Clash Royal was used for their 64th season where they introduced the character of Goblinstein and his monster. As such, the season was themed after Frankenstein and by proxy Frankenstein's monster. This is complemented by the music itself, starting out as a slow buildup as if you're traversing through the castle itself, till eventually when the theme starts to pick up with bumping. You get the feeling you're seeing the monster COME ALIVE! Till now the theme has a sense of you escaping from this terror as it chases you down. If I could describe Frankenstein rampaging through a town in music form, this would be it.
- 4. Tombstone Arizona: This song truly makes you feel like you’re going through a wild west graveyard with the souls of those long gone being embedded in the ground you’re traversing and that the spirits are warning you not to go further, despite that you need to continue onwards.
- 3. Koffin Keep: Do you like Mad Monster Mansion and all its spooky glory? Do you wish it was something more similar to Halloween Town from The Nightmare Before Christmas? WELL BOY HOWDY do I have the theme for YOU! This song perfectly encapsulates the feelings of both Mad Monster Mansion and Halloween Town all in a single spooky package, with multiple variations depending on where you are. TS Underswap has lots of Halloween fun just for you, so if you feel like waiting for a new Halloween themed track from the Tobster is TAKING TOO LONG, then I recommend this track.
- 2. A DARK ZONE: Now you may be wondering why I was TAKING TOO LONG to get to this song, and that's because somehow Toby Fox managed to make a KILLER Halloween song that perfectly exemplifies the theme of Halloween while also mixing in "Ghost Fight"! It first starts out sinister and spooky as is the case with all things Halloween, but after that the music PULLS THE RUG out from under you, but not in a bad way. Now it's a fun, boppy, but still spooky swinging song that makes you wanna shake your spectral hips, definitely a bop worthy of Halloween.
- 1. Shuffle and Spawn: My personal #1. This song to me is the ultimate celebration of Halloween aside from "This is Halloween" from The Nightmare Before Christmas. It starts with sorrow and terror as this unknown force arises, but then culminates in a triumphant theme of fighting back against all of the undead. If I ever want to get pumped for Halloween, this is the song I go to.
And that, my friends, was yet ANOTHER Top 13 Video Game Halloween Songs! I do hope that this year some of these songs can be added to your Halloween playlist, especially with all the new arrivals we have here for you. But for now, Happy Halloween!
Completion Centre
Written by: Sentient freedom (talk)
Hello, 'Shroom readers, so it's the spooky month so you would expect a review on a Halloween game. Uh, no, unfortunately not, but I do have something else, it is on a DS game that has fallen into obscurity within the public, that being none other than Meteos, aka Sakurai's forgotten child.
Personal Pathway
I actually heard from this game thanks to a YouTube video, so I wanted to see it for myself and it was definitely worth it because this might actually be the most underrated DS game I've ever seen.
The story here is pretty simplistic, in the distant universe, the dastardly Planet Meteo is destroying planets with Meteos which threatens other planets nearby. Fortunately on Geolyte the inhabitants found out that matching Meteos causes them to fly back into space, so that is when the mission to save the universe begins. So with the Metamo Ark in tow, they all fly to confront Meteo.
So yeah, Meteos is a pretty unique puzzle game. Every time you match three meteos they'll launch upwards, and the launches can be made more powerful if you get a combo going. However, each planet has a differing gravity and some have differing playstyles to make them all unique.
The modes in this game are Star Trip, which can be considered the "Story Mode" of this game; Deluge, which is just your typical endless mode; Time War, where the aim is to launch as many meteos as possible within a set time limit in the case of both Geolyte and Layazero, and as much meteos in the shortest time possible in the case of Hevendor and Firim; and Simple is just a standard match to either go until all but one player runs out of lives or to see which player can suffer the least amount of KO's before time runs out.
Annoying Atrium
Where the game really gets annoying is unlocking all the planets, sound sets and items in order to get 100%. I'll tell you how to unlock all of them:
- Geolyte, Oleana, Girim and Anasaze are all unlocked from the start so you don't have to worry about them. However, Firim's Sound Set, Rocking Spirit, requires either 100 Fire Meteos or is unlocked by clearing the Branch Route in Star Trip in 4 minutes or less. Oleana's Sound Set, Shinin', requires 100 H2O Meteos. Anasaze's Sound Set, Wild West Cowboy, requires either 100 Soil Meteos or is unlocked by clearing the Branch Route in Star Trip for the first time.
- Grannest is unlocked by fusing 200 Iron and 100 Zap Meteos, or by beating the Straight route in Star Trip (both endings work). Its Sound Set, Tech 'n' Knock, requires 100 Iron Meteos.
- Megadom is unlocked by fusing 200 Air, 200 Fire, 100 H2O, and 100 Soil Meteos. Its Sound Set, Major Tempo, requires 100 Zap Meteos.
- Layazero is unlocked by either fusing 256 Air, Fire, H2O, Soil, Iron, Zap, Herb and Zoo Meteos and 64 Dark and Glow Meteos, or by achieving the True Meteo Ending in the Multi Route of Star Trip (which is VERY hard to do by the way). Its Sound Set, Eurorockitude, is unlocked with either 700 Zap Meteos or by clearing the 1000 Meteo Time-War in under three minutes (which is also very hard to do because of how Hevendor works).
- Florias is unlocked with either a single soul Meteo (which are very rare) or by accumulating five hours of gameplay. Its Sound Set, Indie Music Troupe, is unlocked with 1000 Herb Meteos.
- Freaze is unlocked with 200 H2O and 100 Air Meteos. Its Sound Set, Winter Impasse, is unlocked with 300 H2O Meteos.
- Boggob is unlocked with 50 H2O, 100 Soil, 600 Herb, 100 Zoo and 1 Glow Meteo. Its Sound Set, Cha-Cha Chop, is unlocked with 100 Herb Meteos.
- Jeljel is unlocked with either 666 Fire, Soil and Zoo Meteos with 3 Dark Meteos or by playing VS with another player who has Meteos. Its Sound Set, Hall of Horrors, is unlocked with 500 Fire Meteos.
- Bavoom is unlocked with either 1000 Air, 200 H2O and 200 Zoo Meteos. Its Sound set, Funky Horn, is unlocked with 300 Air Meteos.
- Mekks is unlocked with 1,024 Iron and 800 Zap Metos. Its Sound Set, Famicomic, is unlocked with 500 Iron Meteos.
- Vubble is unlocked with either 2500 Air, 3000 H2O, 80 Glow, and 1 Time Meteos, or by getting every single ending in the Branch Route of Star Trip. Its Sound Set, Natural Paradise, is unlocked with 700 H2O Meteos.
- Hevendor is unlocked with 777 Air, Fire, H2O, Soil, Iron, Zap, Herb and Zoo Meteos, 77 Glow and Dark Meteos and 1 Time and Soul Meteo (Time Meteos are just as rare as Soul Meteos by the way). Its Sound Set, Space-Time Continuum, is unlocked with 200 Dark Meteos.
- Gravitas is unlocked with 1221 Soil, 1441 Iron, 121 Zap, and 161 Zoo Meteos along with 1 Time Meteo. Its Sound Set, Metallia, is unlocked with 300 Zap Meteos. Also fun fact, on each planet Meteos have sounds for launching and falling, and the sound that plays when a small stack of Meteos fall on Gravitas is a crowd of people chanting "Hell no!" How that made it past the censors and into a Nintendo game I will never know.
- Dawndus is unlocked with 300 Air, 1200 Fire, 300 Soil, 700 Herb and 10 Glow Meteos. Its Sound Set, Drumline, is unlocked with 300 Zoo Meteos.
- Yooj is unlocked with 4,000 Air, 500 Fire, 1,000 H2O, 100 Glow, and 1 Time Meteos, at least in the American and European releases. Its Sound Set, Number 5, is unlocked with 200 Glow Meteos.
- Suburbion is unlocked with 78 Air, 77 Fire, 75 H2O, 1,200 Dark and 2 Soul Meteos. Its Sound Set, Hot Revival, is unlocked with 300 Dark Meteos.
- Thirnova is unlocked with 1000 Fire, 2800 Zap, and 400 Glow Meteos, as well as 2 Time Meteos. Its Sound Set, Bossa Cafe, is unlocked with 200 Glow Meteos.
- Lastar is unlocked with 1500 Glow and 2 Time Meteos. Its Sound Set, Solar Chimes, just needs a single Time Meteos.
- Cavious is unlocked with 1 Air, 400 Fire, 1 H2O, 2,000 Soil, 500 Iron, 400 Zap, 400 Herb, 1 Zoo, 1 Glow, 1 Dark and 2 Time Meteos. Its Sound Set, Ambient Pipes, is unlocked with either 1,000 Soil Meteos, or playing the game for an hour.
- Gigagush is unlocked with 20 Air, 10 Fire, 30 H2O, 300 Iron, 1500 Zoo and 30 Dark Meteos with 1 Soul Meteo. Gigagush's Sound Set, Aliens, is unlocked with 700 Iron Meteos.
- Brabbit is unlocked with 1800 Air, 150 Fire, 150 H2O, 150 Soil, 150 Zap, 150 Herb, 150 Zoo Meteos and 1 Soul Meteo. Its Sound Set, Pon!, Is unlocked with 1000 Air Meteos.
- Wiral is unlocked with 500 Iron, 2000 Zap and 50 Glow Meteos in addition to 1 Time Meteo. Its Sound Set, Speed of Magic, is unlocked with 100 Glow Meteos.
- Starrii is unlocked with 2500 Herb, 2500 Zoo and 500 Glow Meteos in addition to 3 Time Meteos. Its Sound Set, Holiday Laughter, is unlocked with 1 Soul Meteo.
- Forte is unlocked with 2980 Soil, 1 Zoo and 8 Dark Meteos. Its Sound Set, Stepped On, is unlocked with 500 Soil Meteos.
- Luna=Luna is unlocked with 1500 Fire, 1500 Soil, 1500 Iron, 100 Zap, 100 Herb and 100 Dark Meteos in addition to 2 Soul Meteos. Its Sound Set, The Scratch Show, is unlocked with 100 Dark Meteos.
- Globin is unlocked with 3333 Zoo and 666 Dark Meteos in addition to 3 Soul Meteos (at least in the American and European releases). Its Sound Set, Inner Bubbles, is unlocked with 1000 Zoo Meteos.
- Wuud is unlocked with 800 H2O and 3000 Herb in addition to 1 Soul Meteos. Its Sound Set, Earth Rhythms, is unlocked with 500 Herb Meteos.
- Hotted is unlocked with 4000 Fire, 800 Iron and 50 Dark in addition to 2 Soul Meteos. Its Sound Set, Transpace, is unlocked with 1000 Fire Meteos.
- And finally, there's Meteo itself, and it is the most expensive planet to unlock because it requires: 5000 Air, 5000 Fire, 5000 H2O, 5000 Soil, 3000 Iron, 3000 Zap, 2000 Herb, 2000 Zoo, 1000 Glow and 1000 Dark in addition to 5 Soul and 5 Time Meteos. And its Sound Set, Planet Meteo, just needs one of every type of Meteo to unlock including the rare ones.
Oh, but that's not all, there are also a bunch of other Sound Sets and items that also need Meteos to unlock.
- Ending 1 - 1 Soul
- Ending 2 - 1 Time
- Ending 3 - 1 Time
- Fusion Room - 300 Fire, 300 H2O
- Main Menu - 100 Air
- Opening - 100 Air
- Results - 300 Zap, 300 Herb
- Staff Roll - 100 Air, 100 Fire, 100 H2O, 100 Soil, 100 Iron, 100 Zap, 100 Herb, 100 Zoo, 100 Glow, 100 Dark, 1 Soul, 1 Time
- Star Trip- 300 Soil, 300 Iron
And here are the items.
- Cross Bomb - 200 Fire, 300 Zap, 5 Dark
- Driller Bomb - 150 Air, 200 Fire
- Eraser - 123 Air, 123 Fire, 123 H2O, 123 Soil, 123 Iron, 123 Zap, 123 Herb, 123 Zoo, 12 Glow, 12 Dark, 1 Soul
- Fury Hammer - 500 Zap
- Heavy Weight - 256 Soil, 512 Iron, 512 Herb
- Row Bomb - 111 Fire, 111 H2O, 111 Soil
- Smart Bomb - 300 Air, 300 Fire, 300 H2O, 300 Soil, 300 Iron, 300 Zap, 300 Herb, 300 Zoo, 50 Glow, 50 Dark, 1 Soul, 1 Time
- Smoke Line - 800 Air, 1000 H2O, 20 Glow, 1 Soul
- Smoke Screen - 200 Air, 200 H2O
- Speeder Lock - 1024 H2O, 255 Soil, 350 Herb, 20 Dark, 1 Soul, 1 Time
- Super Rocket - 80 Air, 80 Fire, 1111 Iron
- War Axe - 500 Herb, 400 Zoo
- X Bomb - 500 Fire, 500 Soil, 5 Glow, 1 Time
The Bomb is unlocked automatically, hence why it isn't here.
Even Time and Soul Meteos can be fused which just makes things that much more complicated!
- Soul - 500 H2O, 500 Zap, 500 Zoo, and 200 Glow (In the American and European releases)
- Time - 500 Air, 500 Soil, 500 Iron, 500 Herb, and 200 Dark (In the American and European releases)
This is the annoying thing about this game, there is just SO much to unlock, and since you can fuse Soul and Time Meteos that just complicates things more. There are things you can do to unlock certain things without spending Meteos, but that's only a minority and most of the others have to be fused. The process of getting everything is so complex that there isn't even an exact amount of Meteos that's required to unlock everything, though it is estimated to be around more than 250,000 of them. So if you are playing this game, be prepared to grind Meteos for an indefinite amount of time.
Decision Dessert Place
Despite all that, Meteos is a very fun game to play casually. Unless you're a masochist like me, I would not recommend 100%ing Meteos by unlocking everything to anyone. It is still a very fun DS game regardless.
Conclusion Centre
To my knowledge, Meteos doesn't have a percentage tracker so the game can't really reward you for "100%ing" the game. Still wish it did something for that grind like make the main menu gold or something, anything could've worked but that might be asking for too much. I still love this game even if the grind to 100% it really isn't worth it.
Hey 'Shroomers, welcome to my new section, which is a spin-off of Completion Centre! This is so if when I'm late to submit my articles, then Sentient freedom (talk) won't be affected. Also, I wanted to break away from the format a little from before. We're going all-in on GGSS™ as the primary format for reviews of single games, though I expect Gameplay to still encompass most of a given article. For articles with multiple games covered, that content will be condensed per game to prevent redundant section names. And most importantly, having our own sections will remove the heinous ".28" and ".29" characters from showing up in our section's hyperlinks 😛
Why name this "Propaganda"? Have I been ideologikally radikalized?! Well for one, the word pairs nicely with my name. Secondly, the concept of propaganda can be applied to "controlling the perception of what is 'good' and 'bad' art". Video games are art, and these are my opinions of them, so reviews (by definition) are all propaganda! The section can also be viewed as just more of Cranky Kong's general ramblings, perhaps with an agenda even.
To keep up this streak of only reviewing Donkey Kong games thus far, we're going from the front to the back of DK's history, with the original arcade game! This is not very spooky writing material, but at least I have a couple of Primative-produced, holiday-themed memes.
As promised, shoutout to Boo1268 (talk) for finding the hidden Waluigi within the last article, which turned out to be in this image! For this article, a hidden code phrase is lurking in the text of this review, so be sure to find it first and proclaim it in all caps on the forum thread!
Donkey Kong (1981)
Expectedly, I would love to regurgitate all of this game's history from the wiki and external long-form documentaries to paint its backstory. I would also love to lie and pose myself as some hotshot expert on how to get a world-record in the game. But I don't think that would be the best use of my review articles! So this will be focused on the general gameplay experience, what I enjoyed about it, and how I think it actually fits in with its historical context. Discussing its background cannot be avoided entirely, but it will be kept to a minimum. As with many older games, and Nintendo games in general, discussing gameplay will dominate the review. Also, this is covering the arcade version, specifically the emulated Japanese version that is unlockable within Donkey Kong 64, which itself is being emulated via Nintendo Switch Online on my Switch 2. What a monkey menagerie!
Gameplay
Xeroxing our expectations, Mario definitely feels quite stiff to play with here. It seems there is some sense of "realism" with how he controls. He does not run very fast, his jumps are uncontrollable mid-air, and he cannot fall much more than his own height. These attributes alone are objective evidence that the game has in fact "aged". But, all this negativity is rooted in bias from having played so many platformers that are much faster and smoother than this. Treating this control scheme as-is, it's actually fine, since the level design compliments it rather well. Each stage is only a single screen's size. And they are more about carefully navigating obstacles, with occasional waiting periods to bypass danger. However, the required proximity to initiate climbing a ladder is not great. It can get the player killed when they can't start climbing quickly, even when Mario is right in front of the ladder! He can also get "stuck" by not fully completing the climbing sequence at the very top of the ladder. This forces the player to be very cognizant of these quirks and be almost surgical when maneuvering stages quickly. A cool move (at least in this specific game version) is that Mario can do a sort of backwards-jump, showing a little more athletic flair than his other maneuvers seem to exude. When the player gets their bearings, ideally after loading the arcade cabinet with quarters, they will eventually be able to take out the funny monkey, save the girl, and repeat the game loop on a higher difficulty mode and earn more points.
Personally, as a score-based arcade game, how would I define "finishing" the game? Well there is one general metric that can work for determining whether an arcade game has been "beaten". Earning the required amount of points to get an extra life can occasionally be used as a basis for "beating" an arcade game, which I would do for very early games like the original Asteroids. Here, however, the obvious metric is simply finishing the four stages, in which the player will undoubtedly earn the extra life along the way regardless. But what about "completing" the game? For the emulated Japanese arcade version here, I would pose that beating the game on difficulty mode #4 would suffice. This is because the game's challenge seems to plateau after this point, at least in this version where the stage order doesn't get shuffled. Aiming to do this for my playthrough was surprisingly engaging, much more than trying to go for some high score (especially the measly 10,000 points for an extra life). Speaking of score, the Bonus meter is present from the start, offering a hefty point reward for finishing a level quickly, but also acting as a countdown timer until Mario suddenly dies for taking too long. On harder difficulties, this Bonus timer increases per stage, but other level mechanics will also change. There are also Pauline's personal items scattered across most stages to get for some points. While they are, by definition, iconic, these items are generally not worth collecting. The point bonus for each of them is questionable, especially comparing the time loss for seeking them out, lowering the Bonus score. Also, the danger in collecting them can be significant. I guess for bragging rights, they are a little more interesting and well-defined as optional objectives than just getting points. A more masochistic definition of "completing" Donkey Kong could be collecting every item in every stage and then beating all 22 difficulty modes, but I'd rather not right now. Part of my justification for wimping-out of this challenge is in how the game handles random chances.
Arbitrary randomness in Donkey Kong is ever-present and is a bit strange, arguably being the biggest hurdle to overcome in proper "high-level play". It is quite different than many later Nintendo games, and probably other arcade games of the time. As much as I love some statistical analysis, going into all the mechanics here is a bit outside the scope of this review. I can briefly summarize my understanding by saying that the game's state at every tick will basically be the sole determinant, or "seed", of future random calculations within a stage. The takeaway here is the player can manipulate various stage mechanics by executing frame-perfect sequences of movements, most importantly at the start of a stage. What this means for "expert" players is that they must memorize many optimal sequences to ensure that all randomness is controlled and in their favor. For most other players, they can potentially pick up on some of these sequences on repeat plays and try to get lucky now-and-then. This can come in handy when trying to "command" Barrels to fall down Ladders in 25m or entice enemies to stray away from the player's path in 100m. I didn't find myself needing to do this to get through difficulty #4 (at least consciously) but this is a major gameplay system to acknowledge, especially for arcade goers who needed to pay-per-play. Conceptually, I do enjoy the thought of Mario traversing different timelines to bend his own reality at will, but that's some metaphysical type of shenaniganry that is best suited elsewhere. Let's get back to Mario's normal, or "average", reality with these construction sites.
Now since there are four unique stages, let's hop into each one, along with how each one changes on higher difficulties. And for clarity: I will be referring to the zones like 25m, 50m, etc. as "stages", the higher difficulty versions as "modes", and girder platforms of the same height within stages as "levels".
25m
Definitively, this is the Donkey Kong stage! We have our classic angled Girders and busted Ladders to climb and reach the top of the stage. DK will hurl blue and orange Barrels down the stage to squash us, while also having the Oil Drum be set on fire to create living Fireballs to chase us upwards. Barrels have a chance to fall down any working or broken ladder when it passes over one. We also have two Hammers as a means of basic defense against barrels and fires. Like in the original Pac-Man, enemies will turn blue when they are vulnerable to Mario's first power-up of the Hammer.
Dramatically, 25m changes quite a lot across the first few difficulty modes. With the speed increase for Donkey Kong's barrel-throwing, it will become increasingly more common for barrels to get "coupled-up" and become very difficult to avoid. And DK will begin to throw barrels across the screen more erratically, having them randomly arc and bounce downward on the left side of the stage. Also, the initial blue barrel will fall straight downwards on difficulty #1, fall halfway to the bottom-center of the stage on difficulty #2 (leaving just enough room to squeeze by with an initial sprint), and then fall diagonally to be unavoidable to the player by difficulty #3. This makes a playthrough on higher modes feel a bit cheeky, but fitting of the character of Donkey Kong and some of Miyamoto's other early design practices.
Objectives in a genre-pioneering game need to be communicated very effectively, ensuring the game is fun, successful, and influential over time. This single screen's design and mechanics address the player's objective brilliantly. The player can learn many gameplay concepts within just a couple minutes of playing or watching this stage. However, there are a couple issues I have with 25m. The Hammers are pretty much not worth using here, and only serve to give new players a sense of temporary safety. By the time a difficult Barrel sequence occurs, it is likely too late to backtrack to get a Hammer and deal with them. For those with more experience, it's best to just ignore them, which doesn't feel great. Also, it doesn't always feel fair that Barrels and Fireballs can use broken Ladders, even when Mario can't. Another thing that won't be obvious to the player is how randomness (or the lack thereof) works in this game. But for the basic mechanics, it was imperative that players learned these things as soon as possible, since the concept of a platformer was still relatively new at the time of release. Even now, with the dated control scheme, it is refreshing to have everything laid out so concretely. Speaking of concrete, let's cement our perspective on the next stage.
50m
Now this is an infamously-omitted stage from the NES port, the "pie factory" stage! While it ackshually depicts a sort of cement-mixing machine 🤓 this has a couple new mechanics entirely unique to the stage. The second and fourth levels are Conveyor Belts, on which Cement Tubs will be randomly placed. The second level will also change its direction on beat with DK parading back-and-forth on the top level. The fourth level will always push things towards the center, featuring a flaming Oil Drum to "process" the cement tubs and spawn Fireballs. The Hammer that is placed at the center of the second level is actually practical to use, depending on if the Fireballs decide to climb downward and flank Mario. Without it, the player can basically be blocked-off from the halfway point of the stage, especially on high difficulties where many enemies can spawn. It is also fun to speed along the conveyor with the Hammer to smash any Fireballs or Cement Tubs that pass along. The Hammer placed on the left of the third level is curious, and doesn't seem to have an obvious use, aside from some potential use in later difficulties where there can be many Fireballs around. The shifting ladders on the fourth level are the final obstacle, and are surprisingly safe spots to hang on to.
Generalizing programming hurdles, all the unique and time-synched level components in this stage may have justified why it was cut from the NES game. But it's a shame that 50m became exclusive to the arcade version, as well as the reconstructed NES version many years later. This is the level that feels the most like an active construction site, so it is definitely worth seeking out the arcade version to see this one first-hand.
75m
It is reasonable to claim that this is the most difficult stage, as there are quite a lot of different mechanics to trip up the player. First, we have two (and the only two) Elevators for Mario to hop along. And then, a sequence of blatantly floating platforms in an "S" shape to carefully platform across. And then there's the infamous Spring device, or "Jack", constantly cycling through the top and right portions of the stage and making its loud hopping noises. It will also begin falling in a random position on the horizontal axis, which can be a deadly calculation for the player to contend with. The Jacks also serve as the final obstacle on the top level. It will ever-so-slightly touch the final Ladder that Mario must climb, and even a slight tap to his foot will cause him to violently die. This part definitely takes some trial-and-error, and it can feel frustrating to fail here after all the other obstacles already placed in this stage. It is thankfully satisfying to climb to safety here, probably the most so out of the four stages.
"Skips" in video games had been a relatively unexplored concept in the early '80s, and yet the second Elevator features an intentional skip that an experienced player can attempt. Interestingly, the player may need to exploit a possibly unintentional movement quirk, where if Mario lands on the edge a platform in the right position, he can basically "climb up" a ledge and maintain a bit more speed than if he normally landed. This is quite an advanced mechanic for 1981, leading me to believe it was implemented happenstance by the programmers, and then later incorporated into level design. While a fair few players can perform the skip without the "climb" on the first difficulty mode, many will struggle with this on higher speeds. On difficulty #2 and above, the player is required to use the "climb" onto the top of the second elevator hastily to reach the platform to skip the bottom-right portion. This move is quite valuable, since the skippable part of the stage acts as the whole game's worst bottleneck. The Fireball that hangs around there can easily gatekeep the player from making progress, and is also placed right next to another encounter with the falling Jacks. If the player hops onto the lowest platform the Fireball can access, they will find it hard to backpedal, since the edge of the screen will "push" the player backwards if jumped into. They simply need to charge through at a very good time with three well-executed jumps to survive.
Still, to feed into the game's historical clout for a moment, I have to say this stage is actually kind of genius. Compared to other stages, there is so much going on in every corner here. New players are enticed to explore a couple different routes, despite how sub-optimal or impossible quite a few are. This is the most "platformer" type of stage in a more modern sense, with platforms moving vertically, abstract floating blocks, and multiple types of dynamic enemies. 75m is also the most asymmetrical and obtuse in its general flow, which is very interesting. The level's skip showcases not only an advanced gameplay mechanic of the "climb", but also a neat and practical utilization of it within the stage's design. Despite how small and simple the stage is, it is undeniably dense and will trip up a player of any experience at some point. It is quite gratifying to master these monkey-like movements!
100m
The final bout with Donkey Kong: the "rivet" stage. Instead of getting from point A to point B, Mario needs to remove eight Bolts in this Girder stack to defeat DK. This structure allows for quite a bit of freedom for the player to path a route to each point. However, more Fireballs will spawn on the sides of the stage, moving erratically across levels and onto Ladders as before. Both Hammers in this stage are rather valuable, as being able to clear even part of a level of enemies can be very useful for completing the objective. Also, making a mad dash to clear one side of the stage's Bolts can be very beneficial for survival, since Fireballs cannot cross the open holes. While the player can jump over moving enemies, this won't help if either of them are on a ladder and is generally not reliable in any stage. It can feel frustrating when the enemies gang up on Mario in some corner of the stage, though. Surprisingly, the top level allows the player to hang around DK if they so choose, without immediate danger of Barrels or Jacks (DK will punch Mario out if he gets too close, though!)
It seems like a fitting end to Mario's first saga, contending with the malicious forces of pseudo-random number generation under the guise of fighting a big monkey. Despite some structural simplicity, the stage leaves the player at the mercy of the game's randomness the most out of the four stages. It's a cool, cobalt-blue ending to this classic!
Graphics
Luckily, the game's intro cutscene is legendary, and even begins with DK shaking his butt at you! The stomping he does to damage the stage showcases his strength, and frames the game's world as being distorted by his plundering. It's nice that we actually get two funny monkey designs here. We get the taunting orangutang (Lanky?) as well as the titular gorilla himself. Mario's sprite looks great, arguably better than the one used later in the original Super Mario Bros., with the fun animation of him spinning around when dying. Pauline arguably has the most Popeye-coded design, a remnant from the license shift in the game's development. Thankfully, this damsel attribute of hers has been gradually reduced in recent years. Regarding Donkey Kong's sprite, I would be lying if I said it didn't confuse me a little at first. It was not obvious to me that his fists cover his pectorals when he's in a neutral stance. In that pose, his arms look a little more like some kind of tubes coming out of his chest, or like he's wearing some kind of backpack around his shoulders. It could have helped to position his fists to be sideways across his chest, rather than pointed inwards. His belly button at the bottom of his sprite is also strange, as it appears at a weird angle to the player's view. The plus-sign shaped gaps between his teeth highlight some big nasty chompers, giving this design probably the most aggressive look he's had, at least more so than the hard brow furrow by Rare much later. When defeated, his shattered teeth and goofy eyes that pop out are some nice details to reward the player with. The dizzying sparkles also clarify that DK does not die in the end, so that's thankfully a positive note to leave on!
Looking at Donkey Kong's stages, they reasonably feel like an chaotic and abstract construction site. Conceptually, it is a good premise for justifying the existence of strange sequences of platforms for the player to jump across. The reddish Girders of the arcade version got retconned into being magenta-flavored in the NES port, which (along with the cyan Ladders) became the color scheme to use when giving a callback to the game. It would have been nice for 75m to have a unique palette from 25m, because then each level would have had an original visual scheme (even in the three-stage version). To really nitpick, it would have been nice for some faint background graphics to appear in the stages, much like what we later got in Donkey Kong '94. The black background, along with the diorama-style presentation in general, fittingly keeps the focus on the gameplay.
Sound
For the time, the sound design here is fine. Each stage "theme" does only have a hand-countable amount of notes. The game features a couple, very short ditties at the beginning and end. But the player will mostly be hearing sound effects and not full compositions here. Thankfully, these are pretty iconic and memorable, such as Mario's squeaky shoes as he muddles along, the bouncy jingle that plays when earning points mid-stage, and the incessant jumping of Jacks in 75m. These sound bites have cropped up around pop culture, especially in movies. Even if the game itself isn't shown, if there's an active arcade shown in the story, there's a good chance you'll hear one of these sound effects amidst the ambiance. The arcade version's sounds are also slightly different than the NES version, having a more twangy feel to them. They can even have an implicit purpose, specifically the annoying nature of Jack noises to keep the player moving in 75m. On top of getting proper music, it would have also been nice to have a couple more sound effects, like hearing Pauline make a light "Help!" blip to pair with her visually crying out. It could have been helpful for a small sound to play when a Barrel falls down a Ladder, to help give the player a better heads-up that an obstacle may come sooner than expected. It could have similarly helped to hear a sound when the Conveyor Belts changed direction in 50m. As part of the ambience for that level, it might have been cool to have some kind of "crunch" or "flame" sound play when a Cement Tub falls into the Oil Drum, helping to sell the image of the stage being a cement mixer (and not a pie factory!)
Unfortunately, we only get a proper song in the NES port, which thankfully did become a referenced theme in games throughout the franchise. Much like the other non-gameplay aspects of the game, the sound functions adequately and serves playing the game well enough.
Story
Naughty monkey kidnap girl. Save girl. The end. Is there more to discuss? I've found a way! Let's obsess over the little flavor text we got for the original release of the game in English. What is this "eventual doom" that is explicitly stated for Pauline to suffer? Was Donkey Kong set to kill her? King Kong actually loved his kidnapped maiden and wanted to "keep" her, at least as a friend, and not kill her. This misunderstanding was a major point of his tragedy, up there with characters like Frankenstein's monster! So why is the actual story text itself playing into the misunderstanding? Similarly, this English description also claims that Mario kills DK in the end, sending him to his "mortal doom", which isn't even definitive in the final cutscene of the game. We still don't even really know the full premise of why DK kidnaps Pauline, even after nearly half a century, with the same guy making massive games! Perhaps whatever major game follows Bananza or even a DK movie will get to fully spell these things out, or at least offer some other more-developed version of the story. As we all know, none of this really matters. At least this description accurately calls Mario "little", repeatedly so, since he never finds a Super Mushroom in this game!
Conclusion
Now overall, Donkey Kong instills a unique sense of "cautious urgency" for players to maintain in order to survive. The player needs to halt at points in order to reorient themselves or respond to a random encounter, but should definitely not wait around for too long in any spot. Even in the "safe" spot of the bottleneck in 75m, the droning noise of the Jack bouncing over and over will drive the player mad if they stay still there too long. This makes the game challenging, feels dynamic, and gives the player more agency than other arcade games like shoot-em-ups. This specific feel seems to only be present in this game, or at least in other arcade-style platformers of the era that the game inspired, such as with Atari's Miner 2049er. This pressure arguably shows up again in the Castle stages of Super Mario Bros., especially when navigating their puzzle segments, but here it is present throughout the game.
You can bet your bottom dollar banana that I recommend any fan of action games play the original Donkey Kong, regardless of what version (of the arcade game) they can get their paws on. Specific to the DK64 emulation, it is very nice to be able to use the D-pad for playing the game. Several Nintendo 64 games force use of the joystick throughout their games, even in menus, so it's very good an exception was made here. For purists and those who want a higher degree of game ownership, consider the Arcade Archives version of the game, which appears to be the definitive release thus far. Having played the NES port, I do recommend seeking out the arcade version, whether it be DK64's embedded emulation, the premium Arcade Archives version, or simply going outside (spooky!!) to find an arcade cabinet housing the game.
It is interesting that someone at some Japanese toy company in the early 1980's, while supervising engineers of a TV manufacturer, would attempt to make a Popeye arcade game in the first place. And then because of license issues, they look at the 1933 tragic film and think "That would make for a fun video game. But not playing as the monkey, but as some guy trying to save the girl!" It has arguably taken 45 years for the strength of Donkey Kong to actually be implemented for players to even fully experience themselves. This is all monkey madness! Kong Kraziness, I tell you! But that's just the great wide wacky world we live in. Thanks for jumping around here, man!
Fall 2026 - Part 1
Fall is here and so is the incredible amount of fall-themed food and flavors, and honestly everything now, including room sprays, deodorant, shampoo, candles, dish soap, and I’m hoping more stuff leans into it because I love a good theme. As per usual, I had other ideas for reviews the next few months but I wound up finding and buying too many interesting seasonal fall things so now here we are again with a multi-part exploration of what’s filling specialty displays for the next couple months. For October I’m selecting the more Halloweeny of the bunch, which unintentionally is all liquids and mostly alcoholic, but hey that’s what’s innovating and available for the spooky season because ideas for food have just gotten weaker and more pathetic as the years have gone on, or maybe it’s just I’m attending more parties and drinking more. Hmm…
Just a disclaimer given where this review is posting, I’m past my 20s while writing this and am allowed to responsibly drink and free to dabble in a little irresponsibility in the presence of friends, but some of you probably aren’t! Some of you are probably 14 years old, or beholden to puritanical ideals for whatever reason it may be, so if that ooOOoOoOOOooo scares you in this spooky season then go ahead and reread any of my other October specials or check out some other sections here.
1911 Established Haunted Hayride Hard Cider
I saw