The 'Shroom:Issue 221/Palette Swap
Director's Notes
Welcome back to the 'Shroom, everyone! We made it to August!
We're approaching the fall and a LOT of good games coming out. I've been trying to tidy up my backlog in preparation for it. I finished up Chapter 13 of Xenoblade Chronicles X, and right now, I'm finally playing through Bayonetta 3 (hey, 2021 was a busy year for me, what can I say?). I'm ready for Pokemon Legends ZA more than anything- got a bunch of time off to play it like a responsible adult, and I'm trying to choose a Mega to main. It'll be nice to see Kalos again!
There are a lot of features from Awards here this month, so I'll let you get to it!
Happy reading! ~FunkyK38
Section of the Month
It's Section of the Month time! Let's see our results from last month, shall we? In first place, we have winstein (talk)'s The ? Panel! Next up, we have one of our new sections, Hint Toad (talk)'s Mushroom Kingdom Comics! Not to be outdone, we have a tie for third place, between Waluigi Time (talk) and Ninja Squid (talk)'s Shmaluigi, Private Investigator and Sparks (talk)'s Random Video Analysis! Congratulations to our winners, and a big thank you to everyone who voted!
| PALETTE SWAP SECTION OF THE MONTH | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Place | Section | Votes | % | Writer |
| 1st | The ? Panel | 18 | 36.00% | winstein (talk) |
| 2nd | Mushroom Kingdom Comics | 13 | 26.00% | Hint Toad (talk) |
| 3rd | Shmaluigi, Private Investigator | 5 | 10.00% | Waluigi Time (talk) and Ninja Squid (talk) |
| 3rd | Random Video Analysis | 5 | 10.00% | Sparks (talk) |
The ? Panel
{A giant hammer labeled "Worst Enemy" is looming in the sky. It caught the attention of the two Hammer Bros., whose eyes pop out at the sight of it}
{The Hammer Bros. got reminded of being slammed by that hammer in the years before, between 2016 and 2024. In particular, the 2016 version features a castle labelled HBHQ (Hammer Bros. Headquarters) being smashed by a hammer, while the rest feature a Hammer Bro. getting clobbered by the hammer in various ways. Hammer Bro. A removes his helmet with eyes closed in anticipation of the hammer slamming their heads, while Hammer Bro. B winces while looking down}
Hammer Bro. A: We meet again, old "friend". Please get this clobbering over with.
{There is a loud "SMASH" sound with a silhouette of the Hammer Bros.}
{The Hammer Bros. realised that they're not hit by the hammer this time, as they look at the giant hammer hitting the terrain in front of him to smash the floor. Hammer Bros. A puts on his helmet while this is happening. Meanwhile, the view starts to drift towards the right.}
Hammer Bros.: We're... spared?
{The Hammer Bros. hold each others' hands and dances around. The view drifts a bit more to the right}
Hammer Bro. A: That must mean the age of Hammer Bros. being the worst is over!
{Hammer Bro. B happily shakes his fist grasping at the hammer at the giant hammer. Meanwhile, the view drifts more and more to the right. Hammer Bro. A notices that something hits his shell and right foot. The label on the hammer tapers off, revealing another label under it.}
Hammer Bro. B: Hooray! And I hope it stays that way!
{The label "Worst Enemy" dropped off, revealing that another label "Worst Level Concept" is under it. The screen pushes both Hammer Bros. into the hammer, squashing them}
Hammer Bro. A: It autoscrolled?? YAAAH!!! WHY US!!!
Luigi: Oh... what a day!
{The lights came on, switched on by Toad. The inside of the house is revealed to have his friends with party hats waiting for him to return home. The following are visible: Mario, Waluigi, Peach, Yoshi, Daisy, Donkey Kong, Toadette, and Wario. Waluigi is waving a small flag with an "L" emblem on it.}
Luigi: Huh?
Everyone else: SURPRISE! YOU'RE THE BEST!
{Luigi seats at a table with a party hat, while holding a fork and spoon. Daisy hands Luigi a plate of spaghetti with meatballs on it. Waluigi is sulking while still holding the small flag.}
Daisy: I made this spaghetti just for you!
Luigi: {Tears in his eyes} Ha-ha! Everybody loves Luigi!
Waluigi: {Thinking} Not me. I just have a deep regard for you.
Mushroom Kingdom Comics!
Hello, 'Shroom readers! Hint Toad, here, with a brand new comic! Enjoy!
Panel 1
[A Goomba's cat is stuck in a tree.]
GOOMBA: Help! My Cat!
CAT: MROW!
Panel 2-3
[Super Koopa sees the danger, and zooms into action.]
SUPER KOOPA: This looks like a mission for... SUPER KOOPA!
Panel 4
[Suddenly, Mario stomps on him from above and makes our hero loose is Cape Feather, thus, ending his flight.]
Panel 5
[Super Koopa shouts angrily.]
SUPER KOOPA: You'll pay for this, MARIO!
Shmaluigi, Private Investigator
Written by: Waluigi Time (talk) and Ninja Squid (talk)
Triple Trouble: Part 2
It's not every day you see a building explode like that. Clearly, things were just going from bad to worse - threatening phone calls, ominous cryptic hints, and now the old building that the Sticky Warrior was investigating just, to use a technical term, went kablooey. Whatever this Circle of Six was, it was clearly serious business, and they didn't want us meddling in said business. Thankfully, I'm good at sticking my nose where people don't want it.
I only realized that I was just standing there staring when Ms. Mowz snapped me out of it by slapping me three times. I can't say I appreciated her methods. "Sweetie! Are you with us here?"
"Ow! You could've just slapped me once, that would've gotten the point across."
"Desperate times call for desperate measures. Besides, I believe it's more fun this way. Glad, you're finally awakened, my little cheese stick!" she said, then twirled in the air and blew a kiss at me before turning and dashing on ahead. The theatrics were getting a little tiring, I had to admit.
I ran after the impulsive mouse into the building that had just exploded without much thought - perhaps not one of my better moments of judgment. But at least I looked both ways before I dashed across the street, unlike somebody else here. Sure, simply getting bashed by a car wouldn't do permanent damage to me, but getting turned into roadkill would seriously mess with the pacing of this case and time was of the essence.
Being hastily abandoned, this place already wasn't in the greatest state even before now. And now with chunks of it missing, it kind of felt like wandering through a post-apocalyptic parking garage that had been turned into a dumping ground.
"Look! He's there," Ms. Mowz exclaimed.
"Sticky Warrior! Are you alright?! What happened?"
"Hmph... So, it was true," he said, seemingly unfazed and staring off into space at the building's remnants.
I was glad he didn't seem hurt, but it looked like we were still on the being vague and cryptic portion of this case. Wonderful. "What do you mean? What's true?"
"Well... that they would try to get rid of me. Remember when I told you about the threatening phone call I got? Well, here is the result. I was in here when the explosion happened, but I managed to make a quick escape before it. The Circle of Six is trying to wipe me out, that much is clear to me."
Having the big bads take such an active presence in this case was... disconcerting, to say the least. Whatever was going on here, it was something that someone certainly didn't want us to find out about. If anything, it was just confirmation to me that we needed to get to the bottom of this.
"Were you able to find anything important, at least?" I asked.
"Hmm... Well..." He paused to sigh, then continued. "It all depends on what you both found. It could help corroborate the facts."
"Well, we ran into an old Lantern Ghost in an alley by the pub, but he wasn't exactly forthcoming with information. He knew about you and Ms. Mowz investigating the Circle of Six though, and about what happened to Kreep... But he did let one thing slip, he said that Kreep was 'made' by the Circle of Six - and that he's not the worst of it."
"So, Kreep was made by them then... This... No, this can't be right. Also, how they even managed to get what exactly happened to Kreep is beyond me..."
Ms. Mowz looked at the Sticky Warrior, clearly concerned. "Sweetie..."
"I know the available evidence suggests that this guy was a member of the Circle of Six himself or at least affiliate to them, but this... is... No, I refuse to believe this..."
"For whatever it may be worth, I'm not sure how literal that was meant to be taken... But you'd know more about this than me," I said. He'd been digging into this longer, and at this point I was growing more convinced that he knew more than he was willing to let on.
"Fine. Well, it we truly follow word for word what I found in Kreep's old records, the Lantern Ghost you speak of might actually have been close to the Circle of Six. Kreep apparently tried to make a move on them once, but considering he know things and that he is alive, it clearly didn't work. That's why I sent you and Mowz there. I had to make sure," he said, then pulled a document out of his jacket and handed it to me. "Here's a document I found with very awkward phrasing. Do you see the numbers in there replacing various letters?"
"Yeah... Looks like some kind of code. Alright, let's see what we've got here." Good thing I keep a pad and pencil on me, you never know when you're going to need to take some notes. I wasn't sure exactly how this might play out, but the best place to start seemed to be just writing all the numbers down in order. "And here we have... Um, some numbers."
"I wonder why this was sealed away in a hidden safe... Thanks to the explosion, I found this."
"Well, it has to mean something then. Kreep never really seemed like the type to plant obscure red herrings in his own base. Maybe it's a passcode to something?"
"Hmmm... If it's a passcode, then I'm not sure for what. Who would hide a passcode in a safe anyway?"
"My, it has to mean something," Ms. Mowz interjected. "Could it be a location perhaps?"
"A location? But, for what ex... Wait... I think Mowz is right on the mark."
That seemed very well possible to me, actually. "Now that you mention it, these do look like they could be coordinates. Let me see if I try to put these into my phone... Oh."
This seemed like one of those times where a picture says a thousand words - or in this case, a phone screen. I turned it to show the results of the search to the Sticky Warrior and Ms. Mowz.
"Sweetie, isn't that..."
"That's... Inkopolis!?"
A hidden set of coordinates leading to Inkopolis - if the numbers were unrelated, that was one heck of a coincidence to be tied to the Sticky Warrior's old stomping grounds. I remembered him saying once before that Kreep had attacked Inkopolis in the past... I suppose it would make sense if he had some kind of headquarters there considering his operations were so far-reaching. As for exactly where these coordinates led, well, I had a feeling we'd soon find out.
"Sweetie... Are you... okay?" Ms. Mowz asked. The statement pried me from my own thoughts long enough to notice that the Sticky Warrior looked a bit nervous - from what I could see behind his ninja getup, anyway.
"Yeah, you look kind of... off."
"Y-Yes, don't worry... It's just this whole case is so... weird."
I wasn't fully convinced, but I could sense that he didn't want me to pry, so I moved on. "Well, I suppose the only way to figure out what's going on here is to go there and get to the bottom of it ourselves. I guess we should probably keep an eye out for that Noah guy we keep hearing about too, I'm not sure if he's someone we should be avoiding or not..."
"Yeah, I guess you're right, Detective. Well then, if we go to Inkopolis, then I suggest we go to the Square first. The metro there will help us navigate to this location pretty smoothly. And since we go there, we might want to catch on some of the latest trends too."
"Oh... I may get my hands on some of the most special dazzling badges out there! Mmmm hmm hmm! ♡"
"That certainly sounds like a plan. Although... I've never been to Inkopolis myself, so you'll probably have to take the lead on this one as a seasoned local."
"Booyah. Then we shall grab a boat somewhere. Let's go to the dock!" he replied, then started to leave. I couldn't help but notice he was leaving out something pretty crucial, however...
"Um, not to complain or anything, but shouldn't we be getting help from an experienced sailor if we're going to sail all the way to Inkopolis?"
"Hey there, I can drive the boat myself. Looks easy enough, let's go."
"Have... have you ever done this before?"
"No."
I've got a bad feeling about this.
We made our way to the docks - with a brief detour back home for me to tell Jasmine I had to go on an impromptu business trip - as I imagined with great dread all the horrible things the Sticky Warrior would do as the captain of our boat. Breaking all known nautical speed limits known to man? Inventing all kinds of new and previously undiscovered ways to make your passengers seasick? Surfing through a tsunami? Okay, maybe I was exaggerating a little on that last one - and I mean that I didn't expect to see any tsunamis on the way to Inkopolis, not that the Sticky Warrior wouldn't do it if he could.
Thankfully, when we arrived, the only vessel there at the moment was safely in the care of its owner, a bearded Fuzzy wearing a captain's hat.
"Oh, come on! Talk about a letdown," the Sticky Warrior complained.
He may have been immeasurably disappointed, but I couldn't help but let out a big sigh of relief, myself. I was not in the mood for a joyride on the ocean right now.
"Meearr... Lovely evenin'," the captain said, looking out over the water. "If ye were out at sea, ye could see the starrrrs..."
"Excuse me sir, but could you by any chance give us a ride out to Inkopolis?" I asked.
"Inkopolis? Meearr... Why, that reminds me o' the time I encountered the mighty Megalodontia... Barely escaped with me life, I did, meearr... It takes more than that t' pull one over on Captain Hairbanks, har har..."
"So... Is that a yes, or a no?"
"Aye, I can take ye there. Come aboard, meearr..."
He hopped aboard the ship and the three of us followed. It was a modest little boat, but it would certainly get the job done. As Captain Hairbanks weighed anchor and positioned himself at the helm, I couldn't help but muse that I preferred a small boat like this to, say, a luxury cruise liner. I'll take the risk of a Sushi attack over the more nefarious sorts of hijackings that can happen on those things, thank you.
Of course, it wasn't long before the Sticky Warrior became displeased with the speed of the trip. "Man... Can't we go faster? This is boring."
"Meearr... Steady she goes, me friend," the captain replied. "Can't be goin' too fast now or we'll be sinkin' to the briny depths, meearr... Don't ye worry, we'll be findin' ourselves at Inkopolis soon enough."
"Man..."
It was nice to have a levelheaded sailor at the helm instead - even if I did have to wonder how he was steering without arms. Where's W. P. Hoodington when you need him? He sure liked singing sea shanties though, but those were some really odd lyrics. I've never seen a chicken riding on a raft, but I guess someone did and thought it was interesting enough to write a song about it.
Later on during the trip, we had a strange encounter when a stream of water from the ocean abruptly sprayed onto the deck. It missed everyone else, but I ended up getting my sleeve drenched...
"What was that!?" the Sticky Warrior shouted.
"Meearr... That's just the Spray Fish. They be harmless creatures, long as ye don't mind gettin' a bit wet."
"Well, it's bad! If I get hit by it, I will dissolve..." he replied, then gasped, as if he had realized something. "Water!"
Suddenly, he leapt towards the water - a pretty odd decision to make considering the prior statement - and plunged his katana into the Spray Fish before quickly jumping off of it and back into the boat. Normally I would consider that an overreaction, but I guess if water is that harmful to you... Strangely enough though, I noticed that the Sticky Warrior's katana almost seemed to have a reaction to it? I wasn't even sure how to describe it, but there was something there, especially from the way that he was looking at it. He turned to look at me before returning it to its sheath. Odd.
Thankfully, we arrived in Inkopolis without any further incident. I paid the captain for ferrying us all the way here and then followed as the Sticky Warrior led the way.
"There we are... Inkopolis Square."
"Mmmm hmm hmm. Looks lovely! ♡"
Stepping into Inkopolis Square for the first time was something of a sensory overload - they really didn't want you to miss anything here with all the flashy neon and gigantic electronic billboards. It was certainly a far cry from what I was used to back in New Wikisburg. Even the pictures I've seen of New Donk City didn't come close to this. It sure was bustling though, filled with all sorts of marine life - albeit on land. I guess it's kind of what underwater would be like if it wasn't underwater.
"Well, since this is both your first time here, I suggest we take a least a moment to enjoy a little tour," the Sticky Warrior said.
Normally I'd be interested in taking him up on that offer, but I could practically feel the ticking clock looming over me. Unfortunately, this wasn't the time to do any sightseeing. "Hmm, are you sure we have time? What if they're preparing something for us at those coordinates right now..."
"Hmm... You're right. Well, at least, I will suggest we go to Crust Bucket, and by suggestion, I mean an obligation."
I had a feeling I couldn't talk him out of that, at least. "Okay, but let's make it quick."
"Booyah! That food is a must try, Detective!" he exclaimed, leading us over to a yellow food truck. Apparently the most popular restaurant around here was on wheels? Okay, then.
We were enthusiastically greeted by the crispy-looking prawn fellow manning the truck as we approached. "What's kraken?!"
"Hi Sean! I'm going to take a Super Seanwich and a Main-Up Guava," the Sticky Warrior said, then turned to me. "By the way, Crust Bucket only takes special tickets to order food. Take whatever you want, I have everything in my possession, it's my treat!"
As I looked over the menu, my eyes gravitated toward the "Deep-Fried Shwaffle" - mostly because of the strangely familiar name. If there wasn't a picture with it, I'd be imagining a waffle wearing groucho glasses right about now. It's a little silly to say, but it kind of felt like fate for me to try it, you know? They even had a "Triple-Fried Galactic Shwaffle" - I bet Shmwario would order that if he was here, but I didn't have the stomach for something like that even on a good day.
"I'll have a Deep-Fried Shwaffle and a Short-Respawn Mocha, if you please." I had to acknowledge it was a peculiar name for a drink, but I wondered if that would help at all next time I found myself in a more-than-unfortunate situation.
"Mmmm hmm hmm! Looking at the menu, I will order a Deep-Fried Shwaffle and a Run Speed Tomato."
I suppose cuisine is always a little different when you go to a new locale, but everything on the menu did seem a little, well, out there. I wasn't sure if this was just the kind of food the people of Inkopolis were generally into, or if it was some kind of trend-chasing thing. Living in New Wikisburg, I definitely wasn't a stranger to strange new food trends... Being trendy was never really something I was up on though, as a lot of people could probably attest. I mean, I walk around dressed like an old noir detective and barely know a thing about social media. But I'm not old!
"So, what you think of Inkopolis so far, Detective? We don't have much time to visit for now unfortunately, but how does it feel?"
"It sure is something, lots more flashy signs than I'm used to back home."
"Oh, yeah, we sure love flashy things and being trendy. It's part of our culture here. Different in many ways from New Wikisburg," he said, then his eyes started to trail off. "Is that... Oh, it's Annie and... Moe."
I turned to see a sea anemone girl accompanied by a surprisingly regular-looking clownfish coming up to the Crust Bucket. She seemed unsettled by the accidental eye contact, but spoke up nonetheless. "O-oh... h-hello."
I tipped my hat in response. "Hello."
Meanwhile, the clownfish stared me down in silence, which I could say was certainly a new experience, until he finally started shouting abruptly. "NERD ALERT! NERD ALERT!"
"Hm. Peculiar fellow."
"That actually means you aren't trendy enough to be around," the Sticky Warrior explained.
"YER A LOSER!" Moe added.
"Welp."
I shrugged and rolled my eyes. "Eh, I've been called worse."
"I should take the time to properly train you in the art of fashion here," the Sticky Warrior said. "Anyway, let's not waste more time around here. Let's get to the metro. If those coordinates are right, it should be easier to navigate towards our destination with the metro."
"Alright, lead the way."
We followed the Sticky Warrior to the Deepsea Metro, where the subway conductor helped us pinpoint the coordinates to an area called Bluefin Depot. Apparently, it was the site of an abandoned coal mine with some residential areas. It seemed like an odd place for Kreep to apparently consider so important as to hide its coordinates in an encoded document in a safe, but weirder things have happened before.
"Bluefin Depot... If the conductor was right, then it should be around here," the Sticky Warrior said as we explored the surrounding area.
I checked the GPS on my phone again. "Going by this, it looks like we're pretty close by."
"Truly? I must admit, my little cheese stick, it appears to be a rather ordinary residential area. Not quite what I had envisioned."
"You'd be surprised how many bad guys hang out in unassuming places like this," I said. "Although I still wonder what the significance of this place is. You don't recognize it, do you?"
"I... don't think so... Hmm... It's weird though. And look, there's nobody around here. What exactly is..." As the Sticky Warrior looked around, something suddenly clicked. "Ah! No way..."
"Hm? What's up?"
"Detective, look at the number of houses around here, and the layout. Could it be?"
I counted them up - six houses arranged on a cul-de-sac.
A circle of six...
"Huh, well that's an interesting thing to name your cryptic whatever-it-is after," I noted.
"Mmm hmm hmm! Could this truly be their base?"
"Maybe? Hmmm... Is there truly no one around here Mowz?"
Ms. Mowz sniffed the air, then shook her head. "I don't sense anyone around here, Sweetie."
Personally, I had felt watched ever since we stepped foot in the Metro - but that was probably just my own paranoia. It was hard not to feel that way, to be fair.
"That's weird... I mean, this place... *gasp*"
"What is it?" I asked.
"I... I don't know. It's like... It's like I know this place. But h-how?" The Sticky Warrior paused for a second, clearly disconcerted. "I don't like this. At all."
Ms. Mowz looked at me with a mix of hesitation and confusion in her eyes, before setting her eyes back on the houses. "Maybe we should investigate. There's no one around, and we have to find what is behind all this."
Something wasn't adding up here - this clearly wasn't a normal case of simply having been here before, otherwise the Sticky Warrior wouldn't be so distressed. But he wasn't going to tell me if he wasn't even telling himself, and I had to wonder if Ms. Mowz knew more than she was letting on about this as well. But we wouldn't get to the bottom of it just standing around outside. "My thoughts exactly."
"Then, let's get at the bottom of this," the Sticky Warrior said, walking towards the leftmost house as we followed. It seemed like a normal house at first, one I would describe as a tad ritzy, but he quickly noticed something odd about it. "Wait..."
"What is it, Sweetie?"
"It's locked, but... Hmm... Huh, would you look at that. It's not even a door. Look closely. It's actually part of the wall... It's distorted to look like a door, but there's no entrance at all. Well made actually."
"That's some real ghost architecture there," I commented. "I wonder where the real entrance is. If this one is fake then there must be another way inside somewhere, unless some of these buildings are just for show."
"Let me handle this..." The Sticky Warrior then proceeded to do his fancy squid form jumps from one house to another, then came back after completing the circle. "That one. The one on the far right, its door is actually a real one. The sixth one, funnily enough. All the other ones around have fake doors like this one. Strange..."
"Are all those houses just for show? Strange indeed," Ms. Mowz added.
"Well, we'll start over there, then," I said, turning around and heading for the only house with an actual door. I couldn't help but wonder what was in those other five - if anything - but first things came first.
"Hmm... The inside. It just looks like a normal house," the Sticky Warrior said, looking around. I had to concur with that - nice wooden floors, fancy old woodworking and furniture, unassuming paintings on the walls. It just looked like the house of someone well-to-do, nothing nefarious or out of place about it at all.
Ms. Mowz, of course, took interest in some of the more decorative pieces. "This piece undoubtedly belongs to a socialite. It exudes all the unmistakable signs of one."
"This can't just be some fancypants' house though, with everything else we've seen so far. Come on, let's look around," I said.
"Hmm... Cheese Stick!" Ms. Mowz pointed down the hall into a large library. It seemed standard for a house like this in every way but one - specifically, it was missing its books, though I could see a single large notebook left on one of the shelves.
"I will take a look in the basement," the Sticky Warrior announced.
"Alright, I'll check out this totally inconspicuous library then," I said.
I went into the library and grabbed the notebook off the otherwise barren shelves and opened it, expecting to find more annoyingly cryptic nonsense as seemed to be par for the course. Instead, I found detailed notes on a host of individuals, detailing their eligibility to become members of the Circle of Six. Kreep, the Lantern Ghost from the alleyway, others. They had photos, full reports of their exploits, and perhaps worst of all, painstakingly detailed scientific records as if they were experimenting on these guys. Well, no, not "as if" - they practically were experiments, ordinary people being taken from all over the world and turned into super beings for the Circle of Six's own nefarious purposes. So that's what the Lantern Ghost meant about Kreep being made by them, and how he knew about it... The best way I could describe all this was horrific.
The details, admittedly, weren't overly critical right now, so I kept flipping through to see what I could glean from this. That's when I happened upon the name I kept hearing about - Noah. He was an Inkling, practically a child in these photos, which made his harrowing exploits and the experiments done on him detailed in the file all the worse. But what really stuck out to me was the striking red color of his tentacles, which reminded me all too much of a certain someone...
"Um, Ms. Mowz... Doesn't this kind of look like the Sticky Warrior?"
Ms. Mowz gasped, looking at the photo. "C-could it be!? Hmm..."
I wasn't sure if I bought her tone - something seemed ever so slightly off, and by now I was getting very tired of working with people who weren't interested in being forthcoming... I was about to press her on it, when the Sticky Warrior returned from the basement.
"Guys! You need to check this..."
Well, my first instinct, perhaps a hypocritical one given what I just said, was to hide the notebook in my trenchcoat. We'd find out if that was a good idea later, I suppose. "Oh, um, what did you find?"
"The basement. There's actually a passageway that connects it to the other houses around! Though, it's weird, it feels very laboratory in aesthetic down there."
I guess that sort of explained the other houses... but this must have been where the Circle of Six conducted all those experiments. It didn't sit right with me that this place seemed practically abandoned, though. I could tell from the photos that a lot of these notes were fairly old - even moreso if Noah and the Sticky Warrior truly were one and the same - but where were they now? They were clearly still active...
We followed him down into the basement, and he sure wasn't kidding about the laboratory aesthetic. Very metallic and cold-feeling, periodically lit enough to see where you were going but extremely utilitarian in that regard. It almost felt like we were infiltrating something straight out of a dystopian sci-fi movie, especially with how labyrinthine it was.
Sure enough, all the houses were connected, the "fake" ones being similar in construction but much more bare in their furnishings, however. Being on the other side of the fake door revealed no sign of what was on the outside - from here, it simply looked like more wall.
Finally, we reached the leftmost house on the block. Unlike the others, this one's basement had another network going deeper underground, leading to what looked to be by all appearances the true laboratory, the heart of the Circle of Six's operation here. And yet, just like everything else around here it seemed suspiciously abandoned.
"This place... it looks like a laboratory," Ms. Mowz said.
"But why is all this so empty? I don't like it," I added.
"Let's check around, maybe we're bound to find something..." the Sticky Warrior said.
As we searched the laboratory, I was interrupted by Ms. Mowz speaking to me in a soft voice. "Cheese stick..."
She pointed towards the Sticky Warrior - he had stopped his search and was just staring, seeming almost distraught and gasping.
"Hey, you okay over there?" I asked.
"I... I-I think I've been here before... So... it was true. All of it!!"
"Sweetie..."
I wasn't sure what to say in this situation... But if the Sticky Warrior recognized this place, then he must've been Noah - and judging by his reaction, I think he already knew that. Somehow in all of this he went from one of the most mysterious guys I knew to having the most tragic backstory of anyone I knew instead - and here I thought mine was a doozy. But what happened to him between then and now?
"T-the screams, the bloodbath... I remember all of it! This place was a real butchery. H-here, in that corner, t-there used to be an electric chair, and here in this very place, it's where they were doing brainwashing experiments and lobotomies!" he shouted, visibly shaking with his fists tightly clenched. "I-I think I've been in there, but that's the last I can remember of it..."
Ms. Mowz simply gasped in response - even if she knew more than she was letting on, I don't think she was expecting this much.
"This can't be real... It cannot be."
I wasn't sure if now was the right time, but... he had the right to know. "I, um, I found this, up in the library," I said, handing him the notebook. He looked at it with a bit of hesitation.
Before he could open it, however, Ms. Mowz quickly turned away, sniffing the air. "Sweetie! Cheese Stick! I believe someone is here. They are quickly approaching!"
I turned to see a shadowy figure, obscured by darkness at the lab's entrance. He stepped into the light, revealing an Inkling, who by my estimations, was getting on in years.
"Well. Well. Well. To reach this place is to outwit the obvious. This comes as no surprise to someone of your stature, does it, Noah? Still, it is... satisfying to see you here again. My child..."
It was true, then.
From where I'm standing, Inklings are pretty short, but this guy managed to have a commanding presence nonetheless. The look on his face exuded confidence, yet was cold and detached, and he wore the clothes of a socialite, befitting of the furnishings upstairs. In my book, guys like these were the worst of the worst, the ones who manage to live in luxury and comfort at the expense and suffering of others. Give me a cartoon supervillain instead any day of the week.
Until now, the Sticky Warrior had merely been looking over his shoulder at the sadistic cephalopod, then turned to face him. With fury in his eyes, he removed his mask, allowing me to see his face for the first time. There was no question about it - many years had passed since those pictures, but the Sticky Warrior was unmistakably Noah. As much as I had expected it by this point, the revelation sent a chill down my spine.
"Been a loooong while, hasn't it... Father."
To be continued...
Aren't plot twists fun? A huge thanks as always of course to Ninja Squid for collaborating on this with me, and providing the dialogue for the Sticky Warrior and Ms. Mowz, and also helping with the Splatoon elements so I'm not lost wandering around Inkipedia for hours! Be sure to come back next month when we bring this arc to a close - see you then!
Die WAH With A Vengeance
Written by: ClawgripFan9001
Waluigi, with the help of Bloolex and Cheesare, then engaged The Foxtrots in battle. The purple troublemaker initiated the first strike by attacking his opponents with a High Speed Breakdance Kick. Bloolex followed up this attack with his own Ink Squirt attack, which both blinded The Foxtrots and lowered their defense in the process. Finally, Cheesare finished off the turn for Team Waluigi with his species’ signature Spin Attack.
“WAH-HA! How do you cocky chumps like that?!” Waluigi grinned as he taunted his opponents whilst wagging his right index finger towards them.
“You certainly have the feisty demeanor people say you’re notorious for, Mr. Waluigi. How about we cool it off with our flashy dance moves?” The man of the duo smirked back at Waluigi before he and his female partner began to pull off an attack of their own, known as the Foxtrot Flash, which involved a wild dancing routine that damaged Waluigi and his allies.
“WAH, that smarts…” Waluigi groaned in pain from the attack his opponents just executed on him and his party, to which said party members nodded their agreement.
“I’ll say…These folks are certainly a bigger challenge compared to anything else we’ve faced in this place so far…” Bloolex chimed in as he rubbed his temple in pain.
“My old man always said: “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”, so let’s keep at it and give these so-called foxtrot champions a run for their money!” Cheesare suggested to boost his comrades’ morale.
“WAH-lrighty then! Let’s-a continue dancing!” Waluigi agreed with Cheesare’s statement before he initiated the next attack for his team’s turn by whipping The Foxtrots with the whip he received from King Grambi and Queen Jaydes, causing The Foxtrots to yelp in pain from the impact of the whip.
“Feel the wrath of the Nep-Enut!” Bloolex firmly exclaimed before slashing up The Foxtrots with his halberd, causing them to howl in pain from the impact of the attack. Finally, Cheesare ended off the turn for his team by striking The Foxtrots with a powerful Spin Charge, causing the dancing couple to groan in pain.
“Stop your nonsense, young men! Goodness me!” The female half of The Foxtrots duo exclaimed in distress as she shook her head in an attempt to regain her bearings after being put into a daze from Waluigi and Company’s pummeling.
“Yes, if you want to play dirty, we will gladly oblige. Back in the day, we had so many passionate and fiery dance moves, that they had to ban some of them.” The male half of The Foxtrots duo followed up before he and his partner executed their next attack; The Podoboo Flurry, which consisted of a foxtrot dancing routine so passionate that the pair caused a flurry of Podoboo’s to rain down upon Waluigi and Company.
“WAH-OW-OW-OW-OW-OW! Waluigi hates being fried!” Waluigi exclaimed in pain from being burned by the Podoboos.
“Exactly, this stuff burns up my delicate pale skin!” Bloolex chimed in with an equal amount of pain.
“I’m toastified, man! That’s no fun when you’re a Spinia modeled after a hamburger!” Cheesare added as he was also in pain from The Foxtrots’ attack.
“Looks like Waluigi is gonna have to crank up his fighting game a notch or two!” Waluigi then exclaimed with a determined glare as he reassumed a battle stance, with his allies doing the same thing. The towering rabble-rouser then initiated his team’s next turn with a Spinning Whip Kick, which was an attack consisting of pulling off another flashy high speed breakdance move combined with a powerful crack of his heavenly whip.
The Foxtrots screamed in pain once more from the impact of the attack, after which Bloolex followed this up with a Rapid Halberd Spin. This attack, as the name would suggest, consisted of Bloolex rapidly spinning his halberd around in his hand as a means of dealing a great amount of damage to his opponents.
Once again, Cheesare dealt the finishing blow for his team by pulling off a Pinball Tilt Spin. This attack involved the hamburger Spinia bouncing off the four corners of the room like a pinball machine and damaging The Foxtrots in a subsequent fashion. Afterward, The Foxtrots were defeated as they both vanished into a cloud of white dust.
“WAH-HA-HA! Nobody beats Waluigi in the art of dancing! Except maybe Mario and Luigi, but that was just an unlucky day for Waluigi!” Waluigi stated pridefully and triumphantly in his victory over The Foxtrots.
“You definitely showed those two who the superior dancer is, Mr. Waluigi. And look, they dropped another key for us to venture further into the Chateau!” Bloolex pointed out as he floated over to the key and picked it up.
“Let’s not waste any more time than necessary in that case and keep on going ‘till we reach the sanctuary of whatever ghastly felon has taken over this place.” Cheesare chimed his agreement before Waluigi hopped back into his Waluigi Cloud and commanded his Paratroopas to carry him forward once more.
With the key obtained from defeating The Foxtrots, Waluigi and Company managed to make their way into the Chateau’s Storage Room, where they encountered vampire bat-like Luffs that were known as Luffpires. After defeating these Luffpires, a chord dropped down from the ceiling.
“Hm…Waluigi wonders what this chord is for? Guess Waluigi can only find out by tugging on it.” Waluigi inquisitively hummed as he stepped out of his Waluigi Cloud and pulled the chord, causing a church bell to sound, startling Waluigi and his allies in the process.
“Whoa! What in the name of Gooper Blooper was that?!” Bloolex exclaimed in shock from the sudden loud noise of the church bell occurring.
“I don’t know, Bloo, but you can bet we aren’t gonna like it!” Cheesare replied to the Blooper. As chance would have it, the Spinia’s statement proved true, because shortly after the church bell was rung, a Frankenstein monster-like being walked into the room, his eyes staring down at Waluigi and Company.
“...You rang?” The Frankenstein monster asked Waluigi in a deep and slow voice. Waluigi raised an eyebrow in confusion as he tried to make sense of what was going on before realizing that this Frankenstein monster must have been a butler of some sort, and that the church bell he had rung served as the butler’s bell that would prompt the butler to come to his master’s aid when necessary.
“Uh, yes! Waluigi did ring for you! See, Waluigi needs help finding another key to get into a locked door somewhere in this Chateau! Do you think you could show Waluigi and his friends where this key might be?” He asked the Frankenstein monster, whose name was Blu-Moon.
“Follow me…” Blu-Moon affirmed Waluigi’s request as he turned around and left the Storage Room, after which Waluigi stepped back into his Waluigi Cloud and ordered his Paratroopas to follow Blu-Moon, in which they did. Bloolex and Cheesare also followed after Waluigi and Blu-Moon, with the butler leading the heroes towards his room.
“The key is in there…” Blu-Moon informed Waluigi, pointing towards the tool cabinet that stood in the northwestern corner of his room.
“Alright, thank you very much, big guy.” Waluigi thanked Blu-Moon before stepping out of his Waluigi Cloud once more and walking up to the tool cabinet, searching through it and indeed finding a key in the process.
“Well, WAH-t do you know? Waluigi found a key!” The menace in purple exclaimed with delight as he held up the key. Bloolex and Cheesare cheered for this in response.
“Okay, now let’s find the door that this key corresponds to so we can progress further into this place!” Bloolex suggested as Waluigi and Cheesare nodded their agreement. Waluigi then got back into his Waluigi Cloud, and he, Bloolex and Cheesare were about to leave the Butler’s Room, but then the door was suddenly locked.
“Hey! The door won’t budge all of a sudden! What’s the meaning of this?!” Cheesare asked in disbelief as he, Waluigi and Bloolex turned towards Blu-Moon, who let out a small amused laugh.
“Foolish intruders…You really thought you could fool me…? How adorable…Now prepare to meet your doom…” Blu-Moon revealed he was playing along the whole time and knew that Waluigi and Company weren’t who he was working for. The monster then attacked Waluigi and Company, prompting another battle to take place.
Blu-Moon then initiated the first strike by using his Franken Pound attack on Waluigi, dealing a great amount of damage to the mischievous purple fellow by pounding him on the head using one of his monstrous fists. “WAH-OW! That really smarts…But Waluigi doesn’t take kindly to being bonked upside the head, so feel the wrath of Waluigi’s Bob-Ombs!” Waluigi fiercely retorted Blu-Moon’s attack by chucking a Bob-Omb at the walking robotic corpse, causing Blu-Moon to grunt with impact from the explosion.
“Let’s see if he can handle a Water Knife just as well!” Bloolex chimed as he summoned a stream of water from a nearby bucket, and used his halberd to bend the water into the shape of a blade before sending it at Blu-Moon, damaging the Frankenstein monster in this manner.
“We’ve given him a little fire, and a little water. Now to finish it off with a little ice.” Cheesare chimed before he pulled out an ice bucket that he found in the Storage Room and hurled it at Blu-Moon, dealing a surprising amount of damage to the butler in the process.
“Do not take me for easy prey, you feeble mortals…I’ll crush your pathetic, weedy bodies like paper-maché!” Blu-Moon threatened his opponents before pulling out a metal pipe and hurling it at them, causing Waluigi and Company to shout in pain from the impact of the attack.
“Oh, you like playing toss, do ya? Well, Waluigi will gladly oblige by throwing another Bob-Omb at ya!” Waluigi told Blu-Moon with an angrily-gritted teeth type of scowl before grabbing another Bob-Omb that he promptly threw at the butler, causing him to moan from the impact of the explosion once more.
“Sadly, there seems to be no more water left in this room for me to make another Water Knife, so I’ll have to rely on the sheer strength of my halberd for the time being.” Bloolex then chimed before floating up to Blu-Moon and rapidly bashing the monster with a quick spin of his halberd, significantly damaging his adversary in the process.
“I’m also out of ice buckets to use as weaponry, so it’s back to my good ol’ reliable - The art of spinning!” Cheesare declared before using his species’ signature Spin Attack to damage on Blu-Moon, dealing a moderate amount of damage to the hulking monster as he did so.
This time not saying a word to his opponents, Blu-Moon instead opted to walk up to Waluigi and Company before grabbing Bloolex with his left hand, then started spinning his arm around and released the Blooper retainer, causing him to go flying around the room and getting dealt a great deal of damage in the process.
“Oof, that’s gonna leave a mark for a while after we’re done inside this Chateau…” Bloolex groaned in pain from the attack that was just pulled off on him.
“Cheesare, see if you can get Bloolex back up on his non-exsistent feet while Waluigi deals with this machinery menace!” Waluigi instructed his Spinia companion, who nodded in understanding as he rushed to the Blooper’s aid while the lanky agitator in purple took care of Blu-Moon by throwing another Bob-Omb at him.
“Hey, you okay, Bloolex?” Cheesare asked Bloolex in a concerned tone of voice as he moved his non-existent hands over the Blooper’s arm to help him back up again. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just a little disoriented, is all.” Bloolex nodded in affirmation before grabbing his halberd again. “Thanks for the help. Now let’s continue battling this guy!” The Blooper thanked his Spinia companion before triumphantly holding up his halberd once more, ready to fight once more.
The remainder of the battle with Blu-Moon was relatively easy for Waluigi and Company thanks to their combined team effort to bring down the slow-witted monster butler, which they eventually did as Blu-Moon fell apart upon defeat, collapsing into a pile of his own limbs, torso and head.
“WAH-lright then, let’s get outta this room before any more danger befalls us.” Waluigi suggested as he and his allies quickly left the room once more and began searching for the door that the key they had found inside the Butler’s Room corresponded to.
Quickly finding that the key unlocked the Conservatory, Waluigi and Company wandered on inside. Here, they found a set of musical instruments, along with a pair of Skele-Luffs; Skeletal Luff Soldiers that were playing a xylophone and a trio of kettle drums. Aside from that, there were also a saxophone, a harp, an upright bass and a grand piano that didn’t appear to be in use.
Glancing the way of Waluigi and Company as they entered the room, the Skele-Luffs waved towards them. “Oh, hello there! We were having a little band practice in here, but we’re short a few people to play the saxophone, harp and upright bass for our band. Would you gentlemen be so kind as to fill in those spots in our band?” One of the Skele-Luffs asked Waluigi and Company.
“Sure, if Waluigi and his friends manage to get something productive out of it, we’ll help you guys out.” Waluigi accepted the Skele-Luffs’ offer before he got out of his Waluigi Cloud and walked up to the harp, while Bloolex floated over to the saxophone and Cheesare went towards the upright bass.
Once everyone was in position, the Skele-Luffs began to count down before they, alongside Waluigi and Company began to play the Overworld theme from Super Mario Bros together. “Wahey! You guys really are talented at this! You guys oughta meet with our band director, Mrs. Shary Melly!” The other one of the Skele-Luffs exclaimed in delight at Waluigi and Company’s good work with their respective instruments.
“No need to, my darlings. I already heard all of it from where I was sitting.” A female voice then sounded from the grand piano, after which the Skele-Luffs, along with Waluigi and Company glanced in that direction. Subsequently, a woman resembling the Bride of Frankenstein became visible, sitting in the seat in front of the grand piano.
“Wah, this is really starting to turn into some kind of cliché horror film, if you ask Waluigi…” Waluigi said with a puzzled look as he scratched his head at the situation he and his friends were presented with.
“Pray tell, gentlemen. Would you care to put your musical knowledge to the test? I have recently put together a beautiful sonata that will take the Strudel Continent to the moon, and I wish to see if it sounds recognizable to their ears by having you three listen to it first.” Shary Melly asked Waluigi and Company with a curious tilt of her head, giving them a long look as she did.
“Shouldn’t be much of a problem, miss. The average resident of the Mushroom World is gifted with basic knowledge of the songs of the world.” Cheesare affirmatively clicked his tongue in response, accepting the musical trivia challenge on behalf of his team.
“Very good, very good! Now listen carefully as I play this for you, alright?” Shary Melly instructed Waluigi and Company as she began to play the Ghost House theme from New Super Mario Bros Wii for them on her grand piano. Upon finishing, she turned her attention back to Waluigi and Company.
“Alright, now answer this correctly: What grand adventure of the Mario Brothers did this sonata originate from?” Shary Melly asked Waluigi and Company as she inquisitively tilted her head towards them.
“If memory serves Waluigi right, that would be New Super Mario Bros Wii.” Waluigi replied with a bored and indifferent look on his face, folding his arms in front of his chest as he did so.
“Oh, how wonderful! You got it right! As a reward for correctly answering that music trivia, you get to battle me and my musical students! I hope you don’t mind me playing Radish van Beethoven’s famed Funeral March at your ceremonial burial by the time we’re done with you!” Shary Melly exclaimed in joy before she and her Skele-Luffs attacked Waluigi and Company, initiating yet another battle in the process.
“Boy, Waluigi sure hopes that it won’t take much longer for us to reach this Kreddy Frueger fellow and nab the next piece of the Circle of Lightning from him, because all this back-to-back battling is really starting to tire Waluigi out…” The purple-clad beanpole admitted with a weary exhale.
“I’m with you on that, Mr. Waluigi. I’m also starting to feel fatigued from all the continuous tussles we’re dealing with here in this Chateau…” Bloolex nodded his agreement, a tired glance in his eyes.
“Let’s try and make this quick then so that we can venture on further towards Kreddy Frueger’s sanctum.” Cheesare suggested as he and his team took a battle stance against Shary Melly and her Skele-Luffs.
Waluigi then took the initiative for his team to attack first, using his heavenly whip to strike the two Skele-Luffs back to back, causing them to exclaim in response. Bloolex followed this up by bashing the two Skele-Luffs back to back using his halberd, and Cheesare finished off the turn for his team by using a Power Spin on the two Skele-Luffs, ending up in the Skele-Luffs’ defeat.
Seeing her students being defeated so easily, Shary Melly pinched the bridge of her nose in annoyance. “Oh, I always have to do things myself…” She groaned in irritation before sending her music sheets flying towards Waluigi and Company, though they managed to block the attack easily enough, thus sustaining minimal damage from it.
“Time to show you why they call Waluigi “The Purple Punisher”, lady!” Waluigi firmly told Shary Melly before striking her with his whip, causing the pianist to howl in pain. Bloolex then used his Ink Squirt attack on Shary Melly to blind her and lower her defenses, after which Cheesare wrapped up the turn for his team once more by striking Shary Melly with a Dizzy Spin, disorienting her and lowering her accuracy in the process.
“Bwaaah! You ragamuffins are gonna make me throw up…!!!” Shary Melly groaned in agony before pulling out a set of piano keys and chucking them at Waluigi and Company as if they were throwing knives. Of course, because she was blinded and dizzy, her attack missed Waluigi and Company completely.
“Good going, you two! Let’s keep up this charade, and we should have this lady beat in nothing flat!” Waluigi complimented his allies’ useful abilities before opening the next turn for the three of them by once again striking Shary Melly with his whip, causing the pianist to moan in pain once more.
“Thank you, Mr. Waluigi! Glad to know Cheesare and I are making ourselves useful during your journey!” Bloolex happily acknowledged the naughty purple-clad human’s compliments before floating over to Shary Melly and bashing her with his halberd through a Rapid Halberd Spin.
“My pleasure, Waluigi! I’ll definitely keep up my battlefield spirit in that case!” Cheesare also gladly affirmed the compliments he was getting from the towering miscreant in purple, then promptly used his Spin Attack on Shary Melly, causing her to yelp in pain as the attack landed.
Shary Melly then initiated her next attack without saying a word, as she played another tune on her piano that summoned another pair of Skele-Luffs towards the Conservatory to assist her in battle. The two Skele-Luffs then attacked Waluigi and Company by throwing bones at them, but Waluigi managed to parry the bones away using his whip.
“Wah-hey! Waluigi’s really getting the hang of using a whip in combat! Waluigi can now even parry enemy projectiles with it!” Waluigi exclaimed in delight before promptly striking the two Skele-Luffs with his whip immediately afterward.
“Your skill with that whip is definitely increasing if that’s the case, Mr. Waluigi! Be sure to keep at it to polish your usage of it!” Bloolex pointed out before he once again floated over to Shary Melly and dealt significant damage to the pianist with his Rapid Halberd Spin attack, causing Mrs. Melly to scream in pain as a reaction.
“I’m sure that if all of us keep polishing our combat abilities, regardless of what they are, we’ll get better at them over time!” Cheesare chimed in on the topic of skill increase before demonstrating his statement by taking out the Skele-Luffs with another Power Spin attack.
Mrs. Melly was starting to softly pant in exhaustion, visibly and audibly starting to get worn out from battling Waluigi and Company. Still, the pianist did her best to fight to the bitter end as she recovered from her blindness and dizziness and sent another pack of music sheets at her adversaries, but Waluigi managed to parry them all into papery shreds using his whip.
Switching up his tactics for this next turn, Waluigi decided to reach into his Waluigi Cloud and grabbed a Waluigi Spiny Egg from it before hurling it at Mrs. Melly, causing her to exclaim from the impact that the Waluigi Spiny Egg made.
Bloolex promptly followed up Waluigi’s attack by using another Ink Squirt on Mrs. Melly to blind her once more whilst lowering her defense. Cheesare yet again finished off the turn for his team by using a Dizzy Spin on Mrs. Melly to furthermore disorient her and make her dizzy.
“Urk, my stomach is starting to feel like a runaway washing machine from all your tomfoolery…” Mrs. Melly murmured in repugnance before once again pulling out a set of piano keys that she threw at Waluigi and Company, but Waluigi managed to parry all of them out of the way using his whip.
Waluigi then grabbed another Waluigi Spiny Egg out of his Waluigi Cloud that he promptly lobbed at Mrs. Melly, causing her to cry out in pain. Bloolex then followed this up with another Rapid Halberd Spin, causing Mrs. Melly to hoot in pain. Finally, Cheesare dealt the finishing blow with his Spin Attack, causing Mrs. Melly to shriek in pain.
“Eek! I can’t hold up under the assault of you wastrels any longer! I feel like I’m going to faint…!” Mrs. Melly told Waluigi and Company before collapsing in her piano seat and vanishing in a cloud of green smoke
“Wah-Lop-Wah-Bah-Luba-Wah-Wop-Bam-Boom! We took care of that musically inclined menace!” Waluigi exclaimed while pumping his fists in euphoria.
“That we did, Mr. Waluigi. That we did. And hey, look! She left behind a chest after her defeat!” Bloolex pointed out as he floated over to the chest and opened it, finding another key inside.
“Mouthwatering Mexicano’s! We’re another step closer to tracking down Kreddy Frueger’s hiding place! Let’s keep up our onslaught of the uglies that Kreddy has stashed away inside this Chateau!” Cheesare gleefully called out, to which Waluigi and Bloolex nodded in affirmation. The irksome gentleman in purple stepped back into his Waluigi Cloud, after which his Paratroopas flew forward to pull his cloudy carriage once more. Bloolex and Cheesare followed suit.
Upon leaving the Conservatory, Waluigi and Company heard Kreddy Frueger’s ghastly voice taunting them once more. “Muahahaha! What an excellent day for an exorcism! If you find yourself in agreement, why don’t you come closer to my sanctum? Don’t be shy, you persistent pests!” The nightmarish nemesis bellowed through the hallways of the Chateau.
“How polite of you to beckon us to come closer. Waluigi will gladly oblige such a polite request.” Waluigi sarcastically responded before he and his allies began searching for the room that the key they found inside the Conservatory belonged to. After trying out a few doors with little success, they found that their newly obtained key unlocked the Dining Room of the Chateau, and they made their way inside in a subsequent manner.
Upon entering the room, Waluigi and Company were greeted by the sight of a Fat Ghost Guy who was helping himself to the large quantities of food that were decked out on the dining table in the middle of the room. Two Luff Soldiers in fancy suits that were known as Luff Maitres were constantly running back and forth between the dining room and the kitchen located next to the dining room to endlessly supply this Fat Ghost Guy with food.
“Sheesh, you’d think these guys have something better to do than constantly running back and forth to bring this famished phantom grub all day long?” Bloolex commented as he watched this occurrence play out.
“Given that this is the Luff Empire we’re talking about, you’re clearly mistaken. And if we are to clean this Chateau out of these hoodlums, we better take care of this gluttonous ghoul and his servants while we’re at it.” Cheesare suggested.
“Waluigi will take care of those nitwits bringing him food. Watch and learn, gentlemen.” Waluigi informed his allies before trapping the Luff Maitres with his whip before hurling them away into the great nothing, thus cutting off the Fat Ghost Guy’s food supply.
Ignoring Waluigi and Company completely until his plate was empty, the Fat Ghost Guy banged the table with his fists still grasping his silverware in anger. “Hey! Why did you do that?! I’m gonna chow down on you three instead!” The Fat Ghost Guy bellowed out in resentment before attacking Waluigi and Company as yet another battle was initiated.
“There’s not much that can harm a ghost, is there, Mr. Waluigi?” Bloolex asked the purple-clad pest as the next battle began.
“Depends on the situation. In most regular situations, you can’t harm a ghost by any physical means. But in terms of turn-based RPG battles like this, you can harm them just fine, so don’t WAH-rry, be happy.” Waluigi assured him.
“I’m not gonna let myself be told that twice. Let’s get him!” Cheesare yelled, eager to take down the Fat Ghost Guy so much that he attacked the gluttonous ghoul first for his team’s turn using his Spin Attack.
“Leave it to me now, Mr. Waluigi. You can attack last if you wish.” Bloolex offered Waluigi as he floated forward and performed a Rapid Halberd Spin on the Fat Ghost Guy. The famished phantom groaned in pain from the attack, proving that Waluigi’s assessment of the Mushroom World’s rules regarding the harming of ghosts proved to be legitimate.
“Waluigi doesn’t mind going last. After all, that means saving the best for last, and Waluigi can always settle for that!” Waluigi grinned excitedly before he lashed out a powerful strike of his whip on the Fat Ghost Guy, causing the sating spectre to let out another pained howl in the process.
“Yowzers! That really smarts! Prepare for the feasting of your life!” The Fat Ghost Guy angrily told his opponents before executing an attack that involved throwing his silverware at Waluigi and Company like a pair of boomerangs, said attack being appropriately called Boomerang Silverware.
Waluigi and Company grunted in pain from this attack. “WAH-OW! WAH-tch the merchandise, buddy! This body is all Waluigi, and that means that it’s a temple that shouldn’t be damaged!” Waluigi warned his opponent as he angrily shook his fist at him in a feisty manner.
“I don’t think that our apparitional adversary can be bothered to give two Torpedo Teds, Mr. Waluigi. So it’s best that we keep on pummeling him until he’s out of commission.” Bloolex pointed out to the disorderly gentleman in purple.
“Bloolex is right! Let’s keep on trashing him!” Cheesare pitched in as he promptly initiated the next turn for his team by executing a Dizzy Spin on the Fat Ghost Guy to both make him dizzy and disorient him simultaneously.
Bloolex then went next again, performing another Rapid Halberd Spin on his cadaverous counteragent, who screeched in pain in response. Waluigi then once again closed out the turn for his team by hurling a Waluigi Spiny Egg from his Waluigi Cloud at the Fat Ghost Guy, who yelped in pain once more.
“Okay, now you guys are starting to make me mad! Big mistake, ‘cause a guy my size fights better when he’s angry!” The Fat Ghost Guy warned Waluigi and Company before he used his Buddy Belch attack, which involved him burping up two Tenderling enemies to aid him in battle.
“Now that’s just plain gross…” Cheesare recoiled in disgust upon witnessing this attack. Waluigi and Bloolex nodded their agreement. “If you guys don’t mind, I’m gonna focus my efforts on the ghost, because I’m not touching those meaty guys with my bare non-existent hands.” The Spinia suggested to his allies, who once again nodded in understanding.
Satisfied with that response, Cheesare took to fighting once more, unleashing another Dizzy Spin on the Fat Ghost Guy to keep him dizzy and disoriented and rendering his attacks mostly ineffective against Waluigi and Company.
Bloolex then used his Ink Squirt attack on the two Tenderlings in order to blind them and lower their accuracy and defense. Waluigi then finished the two Tenderlings off by striking both of them with his whip, taking the sentient meat pieces out in the process.
The Fat Ghost Guy then performed a powerful Belly Flop attack on Bloolex and Cheesare, significantly damaging the duo with it as they cried out in pain from the impact of the attack. “See? I told you that a guy my size fights better when he’s angry! Stuff it, losers!” The hungry haunt taunted his opponents after that successful attack.
“WAH-thering Wigglers, that must’ve hurt. Are you guys alright?” Waluigi asked his friends in a concerned tone of voice, rushing over to them as he did so. The mischievous male might’ve been an absolute maverick towards the majority of the Mushroom World, but even he cared a great deal for those he could genuinely call friends.
“Yeah, I’m good, Little Purple. I’ve come back from worse than this.” Cheesare responded as he began to get back onto his invisible feet. Bloolex nodded his agreement with what the Spinia said before also slowly but surely rising back off the ground.
“My sentiments exactly, Mr. Waluigi. I wouldn’t have gotten into the position I’m currently in back at Podiforme Trench if I couldn’t take a walloping of this magnitude.” Bloolex assured Waluigi. Satisfied with that, Waluigi and his allies prepared to take on the Fat Ghost Guy for their next turn.
This time, Waluigi initiated the turn for his team by grabbing three Waluigi Spiny Eggs out of his Waluigi Cloud and began juggling them before hurling them at the Fat Ghost Guy with all his might, significantly damaging him as he did so. “WAAAAH! Waluigi has more than enough tricks up his sleeves, even when he’s not wearing any!” The purple mischief-maker taunted his opponent with another cocky smirk and wag of his index finger.
“I’ll say, Mr. Waluigi! You really know how to surprise friend and foe with all your tricks!” Bloolex responded before he floated over to the Fat Ghost Guy and performed an attack known as the Double Halberd Jab, which involved stabbing opponents with his halberd twice in subsequent fashion, hence the attack’s name.
“It’s no wonder why people deem you such a dangerous fellow whenever they happen to have you as an enemy!” Cheesare added onto that before finishing off the turn for his team by performing a Fire Spin on the Fat Ghost Guy, dealing a great amount of damage to him as well as inflicting a Burn status ailment in the process.
“Ay, ay, ay! That’s hot stuff!” The Fat Ghost Guy yelped in pain from the Burn that the Spinia had just inflicted on him, after which said Burn dealt some damage to him. The famished phantom then used another Boomerang Silverware attack on Waluigi and Company.
“WAH-lright, time to finish this guy off! Give it your all, you guys!” Waluigi motivated his party members as he took the first attack by striking the Fat Ghost Guy with his whip, depleting another portion of his HP meter.
“Roger that, Mr. Waluigi!” Bloolex saluted his lengthy purple-garbed friend in understanding before unleashing a Half-Circle Halberd Swing on the Fat Ghost Guy, depleting another quarter of his HP meter.
“Don’t mind if I do, Little Purple!” Cheesare chimed in as he finished the Fat Ghost Guy off with another Fire Spin attack. The gluttonous ghoul then swayed back and forth in place before collapsing on the ground and vanishing into a cloud of white dust.
“WAH-rly! Another victory for Team Waluigi in the bag!” Waluigi pumped his fist in euphoria before noticing a Badge that the Fat Ghost Guy had dropped after being defeated. “And WAH-t do you know, he left behind a little present for us to take as well!” The tall troublemaker lit up with delight as he picked up the badge, which happened to be a Money Money badge.
“That’s a Money Money Badge, isn’t it? I heard that those things can double the amount of Coins you collect upon winning a battle!” Bloolex pointed out, clearly familiar with Badges and how they worked.
“Exactly, Bloolex! And since Waluigi can use all the money he needs if he is to buy things during his journey, he’ll equip the Badge right away!” Waluigi affirmed the Blooper retainer’s assessment as he promptly equipped the Money Money Badge. “Now let’s continue looking for a way into Kreddy Frueger’s inner sanctum.” He suggested to his party members before stepping inside his Waluigi Cloud again, after which the group ventured forward into the Chateau once more.
Soon finding themselves out in the Boneyard of the Chateau, Waluigi and Company were looking around for any clues that could lead them towards where Kreddy Frueger was hiding when they came across a doghouse with a Chain Chomplet inside. Upon noticing them, the Chain Chomplet started growling in a hostile manner, startling Waluigi and Company before the miniature guard dog attacked them, resulting in yet another battle that they had to clear.
“WAH-nderful, now we need to take out this dopey guard dog if we are to get any further into the Chateau…” Waluigi groaned as he placed the palm of his hand against his temple in an annoyed manner.
“Look on the bright side of things, Mr. Waluigi: The more of these hostile hoodlums we take out, the faster we’ve found the next piece of the Circle of Lightning and the quicker we’re able to get some rest.” Bloolex pointed out as he grabbed his halberd, ready for action.
“I’ll say. Seems like we’ve got about a hundred waves of bad guys to clear before we finally get to the head honcho that commands them all.” Cheesare pitched in as he also prepared himself for another skirmish.
Waluigi then went first for his team’s opening turn in this battle by throwing a Bob-Omb at the Chain Chomplet, whose name happened to be Motomiya. The guard dog let out a pained dog-like yelp once the Bob-Omb exploded upon making contact with it.
Bloolex then went next in his team’s turn order, executing a Water Knife attack on Motomiya by summoning water from the canine’s water tray and bending it into a blade-like shape with his halberd before sending it after Motomiya, dealing another portion of damage to it and causing it to let out a pained dog-esque whimper in response.
Finally, Cheesare closed out the turn order for his team by performing a Spin Attack on Motomiya, who made another pained squeal from the attack successfully landing. The Chain Chomplet then angrily barked at its opponents before bouncing over to Waluigi and Company and dealing a great amount of damage to Cheesare using its Snapjaw attack to bite the Spinia with its sharp teeth.
“Chattering Cheeseburgers, this dog really has the bite to back up its bark!” Cheesare exclaimed in pain as Motomiya bounced back towards its dog house. Waluigi then opened his team’s next turn by chucking another Bob-Omb at the Chain Chomplet, significantly damaging it and causing it to howl in pain.
“If that’s the case, we better take it out quickly before it literally and figuratively eats away at us.” Bloolex suggested as the Blooper retainer went next for his team and performed a Half-Circle Halberd Swing on the Chain Chomplet, depleting another portion of its health bar while making it moan in pain.
“WAH, that’s definitely for the best!” Waluigi voiced his agreement while Cheesare performed another Spin Attack on Motomiya, causing it to cry out in pain whilst simultaneously removing another quart of its energy meter. Afterward, Motomiya erupted into another angry barking fit before performing a Belly Flop attack on Cheesare, dealing a great amount of damage to the Spinia as it did so.
“Ouch! Not only is this dog’s teeth dangerous, so is its metallic body!” Cheesare snapped in pain from the walloping he just had to endure from the feisty puppy dog. Waluigi nodded in understanding as he grabbed yet another Bob-Omb and spiked it at Motomiya, taking out another share of the canine’s life force in the process.
“WAH, it seems explosions are one of the things that mutt is vulnerable to, so either that or any fire-based attacks should be effective in taking it out!” Waluigi pointed out to his allies, after which Bloolex nodded in understanding before taking out a Fire Flower that he had found at some point inside the Chateau before planting it on the ground, which caused the Fire Flower to start pelting Motomiya with Fireballs, burning up the Chain Chomplet in the process and also inflicting a Burn status ailment on it.
“Good thing I found a couple of Fire Flowers inside a chest in a room inside the Chateau in that case! They should really come in handy right about now!” Bloolex responded after using one of the aforementioned Fire Flowers on Motomiya.
“Say no more, Little Purple! I’ll toastify this pesky pooch!” Cheesare added before performing a Fire Spin attack on Motomiya, frying its metallic hide as he did so. The Chain Chomplet was then dealt a small portion of damage from its Burn status ailment. Motomiya then barked angrily once more before performing a Houndish Headbutt attack on Bloolex, causing the Blooper retainer to painfully exclaim in response.
“Yowch! You weren’t kidding when you said that thing is very feisty in its attacks, Cheesare!” Bloolex responded to his Spinia friend, after which Waluigi flung another Bob-Omb towards the guard dog and drained another ounce of its HP.
“WAH, you know what they say about Chain Chomplets; Gentle when stroked, fierce when provoked. And this one’s certainly not gentle!” Waluigi pointed out to his allies, to which Bloolex and Cheesare nodded their agreement before the former planted another Fire Flower to rain Fireballs all over Motomiya while the latter scorched it with another Fire Spin attack.
Motomiya then barked angrily at Waluigi and Company once more, only this time, a Skele-Luff showed up to complain about the barking while indirectly assisting the Chain Chomplet in battle.
“Fer the Luff of Crêpe, make that yappy dog be QUIET!” The Skele-Luff angrily shouted at Waluigi and Company, shaking his fist at them in a feisty manner before hurling a trio of bones at the heroes, damaging them in the process.
“WAH don’t you be of assistance in doing so, bonehead?” Waluigi smirked as he took hold of the Skele-Luff with his whip before disassembling the skeletal enemy by slamming it down on the ground.
Noticing the pile of bones that had just appeared in its path, Motomiya happily barked while bouncing up and down before rushing over to the bones, then happily began licking away at them.
“Alright, nice one, Mr. Waluigi! Now that the doggie is distracted with its treats, we can take it down without much more of a hassle!” Bloolex complimented the purple-clad agitator before frying Motomiya with another Fire Flower.
“Yeah, you could really say that Skele-Luff had a timely bone in its body!” Cheesare chimed in while making an intentionally bad pun, finishing the Chain Chomplet off with one final Fire Spin attack. Motomiya let out a dying howl before disappearing in a cloud of white dust.
“WAH-HA! Go chomp on THAT!” Waluigi grinned in satisfaction while making a spiteful taunt at his recently defeated enemy. “Now let’s continue on looking for any traces that could lead us to Kreddy Frueger…” The lovable mischief-maker in purple suggested as he and his allies made their way into Motomiya’s doghouse, which happened to serve as a gateway leading them into the Chateau’s Graveyard.
“Muahahahahaha! Come to Kreddy, you precious little troublemakers…” Kreddy Frueger’s voice bellowed out across the graveyard once more. Then, as if right on cue, a bolt of lightning struck a grand tombstone in the center of the very end of the Graveyard. Afterward, a hand clutching a machete pushed through the dirt in front of the tombstone, and a hulking, walking corpse resembling Jason Voorhees from the Friday the 13th film series then rose from it, crawling out of its grave before standing back up.
“Muahahahahaha! If you wish to get any further into the Chateau, you must fight my mighty minion, Vason Joorhees! Get ‘em, Vason!” Kreddy’s voice then boomed through the Graveyard once more, with the undead hockey mask wearing killer obeying its master’s orders as it attacked Waluigi and Company.
“WAH-lrighty then, if you just can’t get enough of Waluigi and his friends fighting it out with spooks and scarers of all walks of life and beyond, here comes the Undead Hockey Mask Killer, Vason Joorhees.” Waluigi sarcastically stated to the readers as he prepared himself for another battle.
“How often has the fourth wall been broken in ‘Shroom sections like this anyway?” Bloolex then questioned as he also prepared himself for yet another tussle with the Luff Empire’s uglies.
“Probably not that often, if you ask me. But we don’t have time to dwell on that right now, we got a blade-wielding psycho zombie to take care of!” Cheesare pointed out to the Blooper retainer as he too got himself into fighting shape.
Following that introduction, Waluigi took care of things first by striking Vason Joorhees with his whip, dealing a relative amount of damage to the hulking horror. Bloolex then followed this up with a Rapid Halberd Spin, dishing out another portion of buttkick to the massive monster. Cheesare then closed things out with a Fire Spin, super effectively hurting the heroes’ undead adversary and inflicting another Burn status ailment on him in the process.
Taking effect almost immediately afterward, Vason Joorhees was then hurt from his Burn status ailment before walking up to Waluigi and slashing the purple troublemaker with his machete, depleting a big portion of his health bar as he did so.
“WAH-OW! That really cuts deep into Waluigi’s defenses! Time to use some of Waluigi’s health replenishing trinkets!” Waluigi declared as he grabbed a Waffcka Stack from his inventory, promptly scarfing it down, which replenished his health in a subsequent fashion.
“WAH, now that’s better! Waluigi should be good to go for another string of turns now!” Waluigi lit up with glee as he grabbed a Bob-Omb from his Waluigi Cloud, hurling it at Vason Joorhees. The explosion proved super effective against the masked murderer, emptying a grand quarter of his energy meter.
“I’ll say! Good thing we stocked up on some of that stuff back at Mt. Cheesecake! We’ll definitely have to go see Waffcka and ask him to give us some more of that stuff once we head back across the mountain pass on the way back from here!” Bloolex suggested before using his Ink Squirt attack on Vason Joorhees to blind him, lowering his accuracy and defenses in doing so.
“Now I’m curious if that Waffcka guy you’re talking about hands out stacks of that stuff based on how many members we got in our party…Guess we’ll have to find out once we go see him atop Mt. Cheesecake after we’re done in this Chateau.” Cheesare reasoned out loud before performing another Fire Spin on Vason Joorhees, super effectively inflicting more damage on him whilst increasing the duration of the machete brandishing brute’s Burn status ailment at the same time.
Subsequently, Vason Joorhees took more damage from his Burn status ailment before performing a Foot Tremor attack, which involved creating an earthquake by stomping the ground with his powerful leg and foot muscles to damage Waluigi and Company. The heroes yelped in pain from the damage that the Foot Tremor attack did to them.
“WAH-t a shaky demeanor this decaying dunce harbors towards any-WAH-n not on his side!” Waluigi declared, striking Vason Joorhees with his whip once again, wiping out another ounce of his enemy’s life bar as a result. “You sure got it by the right end, Mr. Waluigi. This guy is just quivering with anger when dealing with us.” Bloolex voiced his agreement with his mischievous buddy in purple, performing another Rapid Halberd Spin on Vason Joorhees after doing so.
“Poor fellow must’ve had quite the rumbling lifestyle before he was sent to the grave, I think.” Cheesare theorized, executing his Fire Spin on Vason Joorhees in a timely manner to damage the rotting remains whilst prolonging the time his Burn status ailment would last.
Being damaged from the Burn once more, Vason Joorhees then walked up to Cheesare, firmly grasping the Spinia, ultimately hurling him around the Graveyard and significantly damaging him this way. Cheesare yelped in pain from the impact of the attack, grunting once he came to a standstill on the ground.
“Trembling Tomatoes, that hurt…!” Cheesare groaned in pain as Bloolex rushed up to him, helping the Spinia back up in doing so. “Oof…Thanks, Bloolex. I owe you one.” The Spinia thanked the Blooper retainer for his aid.
“Don’t mention it, Cheesare. You stay back and rest up a bit, Mr. Waluigi and I will take care of things for the time being.” Bloolex acknowledged the Spinia’s gratitude, soon shifting his attention towards Vason Joorhees. The Blooper retainer then performed another Rapid Halberd Spin on the hulking horror to wipe out another significant portion of his health bar.
“Bloolex is right, Cheesare. He and Waluigi will make sure that menace in a mask pays for hurting you so badly.” Waluigi chimed in as he grabbed a trio of Waluigi Spiny Eggs out of his Waluigi Cloud, began juggling them, then finally chucked them at Vason Joorhees in a subsequent fashion to take care of another part of the dreadful detestation’s energy meter.
“Thanks, guys. I’ll just do nothing for this turn so I can regain my strength for a little bit in that case.” Cheesare gratefully informed his allies as he stayed back to rest up a bit for the time being. Vason Joorhees then initiated his next turn by walking up to Waluigi before dishing out another walloping to the rabble-rouser in purple by striking him with a Joorhees Left Hook, which was a powerful left hook punch, as the name would imply.
“WAAAAHHHHH!!!” Waluigi cried out in pain from the blunt force of the punch he tanked, being knocked out of his Waluigi Cloud in the process. “So! You WAH-nna play dirty, do ya?! Well, Waluigi knows better about playing dirty than any-WAH-ne else in the Mushroom World!” The elevated inciter firmly told his opponent, beginning to lose his patience.
“Oh, snap! Mr. Waluigi is starting to lose his temper!” Bloolex quipped in shock, fearing what was going to happen next. Cheesare stayed quiet, but he nodded his agreement that he too dreaded what Waluigi was going to do to Vason Joorhees.
Waluigi then promptly slammed his whip down onto the ground, calling upon the divine bestowing of King Grambi and Queen Jaydes with his whip by doing so. The Overthere and Underwhere alike must’ve heard the call of the purple-garbed rascal, because immediately afterward, their divine blessings began to seep from the ground and into Waluigi. A bright light then flashed, causing Bloolex, Cheesare and Vason Joorhees alike to shield their eyes for a brief moment until the light faded. Once the light had faded, Waluigi was shown with a flaming purple aura surrounding his body, his armor having turned into that akin of a paladin, being colored a very dark purple hue with glowing red streaks running across. Waluigi’s eyes were now a burnt orange hue, radiating with light. Finally, his whip had also been enchanted to be surrounded with a flaming purple aura, signifying its powered up state akin to that of its wielder.
“WAH-lright then, are you ready to fight WAH-ltra Instinct Waluigi?!” Waluigi firmly asked Vason Joorhees, his teeth angrily grit as Bloolex and Cheesare stared on in disbelief while Vason Joorhees stepped back a bit, visibly scared from the purple-clad menace’s transformation.
Waluigi then hopped back into his Waluigi Cloud, causing it to be surrounded by the flaming purple aura. The Paratroopas carrying the Waluigi Cloud were also enchanted by Waluigi’s transformation, as they too became surrounded by the flaming purple aura while their eyes turned to the same radiant burnt orange hue as Waluigi’s.
“LET’S-A GO!!!” Waluigi then let out a battle cry before his Paratroopas dashed forward with the Waluigi Cloud trailing behind. Waluigi and his Paratroopas then began to mercilessly pummel Vason Joorhees with their combined might, proving to be enough to send the hockey mask-clad creep back to his grave, as he began exploding whilst sinking back into the grounds of the Graveyard.
Upon having defeated Vason Joorhees, Waluigi and his Paratroopas proceeded to turn back to normal, with Waluigi deeply breathing in and out from that incredible feat he just managed to pull off.
“Whoa, Mr. Waluigi…That…That was incredible!” Bloolex exclaimed in bewilderment as he and Cheesare rushed up to the nuisance once the battle had wrapped up.
“Yeah, dude. You ain’t Little Purple to me anymore. You’re Big Purple to me now!” Cheesare chimed in, having gained newfound respect for his towering rescuer.
Letting out a soft, yet satisfactory sigh, Waluigi weakly smiled towards his friends. “Thanks, you guys…It really means a lot to Waluigi that you appreciated Waluigi going out of his way to protect not only himself, but the two of you from the ghastly abuse that rotting monster was performing on us as well…” He softly yet gratefully told his friends.
Suddenly, the heroes heard a sparkling noise as a large green club-shaped key rose out of Vason Joorhees’ grave. “WAH-ll…Waluigi has an idea that this key should get us closer towards Kre