The 'Shroom:Issue LXXII/Fake News
Welcome to another edition of the Fake News! Today, we're faker than ever. Really. Just listen to what the new Pope said about us:
(quote 100% real)
Look out for a special announcement at the end of Ask Tucayo, by the way.
Last month's Section of the Month was won by Koohitsu and the Fake Interview/Monthly Inquisition, with 33 votes. Toadbert101 and Pyro were close behind, with the Fake Ads and Travel Guide, respectively.
Hey hey hey, ladies and Goombas, and welcome to Pyro's Travel Guide, where my pain is your pleasure.
Right now, I'm still stuck in a pyramid after escaping from that deadly fridge (it has now been declared a public health hazard and is currently being fumigated), so I decided to explore some more. I came across a magical (did I actually use that word?) place - Arabian Night!
The Arabian Night is filled with all kinds of things to keep you amused until you die - er, leave. The main attraction is the bountiful supply of magic carpets that you can ride on all over the place! However, they somehow explode in water, and you have to keep leaping and leaping to make the carpet go higher. Also, there's a whole superdome full of vampire birds.
The only accommodation is quite comfortable, as the bellhop will let you choose what you sleep with - spiky rocks, hostile bees, or vampires. I chose the bees, but I soon found that they loved me and kept ramming into me. I hate bees, but unlike Wario, I never get an allergic reaction. Yet I still found myself thinking of suing them.
As with the fridge, there are jewels and Keyzer here. I missed Keyzer, but those jewels are all over the place. Only this time, they are blue! Blue is my least favorite color! I ignored the jewels and instead robbed the entire Arabian town of its surplus of diamonds. Oh, and there was a CD too, but it just played the sound of footsteps and cars.
The only downside to this wonderful asylum is the massive amount of monsters. I found myself multiple times right in the middle of swarms of Onomīs, trying to cut my head off. There were a bunch of Skeleton Birds, too, but I avoided them in fear of becoming A ZOMBIE.
So, that's it for Travel Guide! See you next time, folks, where I...honestly don't know what I'm going to do. Now how in the world do I get out of this place? Hey, there's a switch over there...
Hello! Welcome back to the next edition of Gamer Guide. Hosted by yours truly, Yoshi K.
This month we have another
Sup3r Mar10 Br0s. is a
The L33t Sh0p is
Sup3r Mar10 Br0s. has 3 normal worlds, 1 special world, and 00
The controls are simple, press 3 to jump, 1 to crouch, 0 to dash, and the special L33t control stick to move! What? You have no idea what these are?
So how about it? After reading this, you definitely should go pick up the W11 U, download the app, and play the game! Be careful though, the W11 U is not sold in stores, you have to call the L33t Hamm3r Br0z. company to get it!
Call One eight hundred RIP-OFFS Now!
Hello, dear people. It's your Bounty Hunter Koopatrol, Chief Alexneushoorn. My officers brought 3 thugs into their cells. Let's look at the stories.
1. Bowser and K. Rool's Big Switch
Bowser and King K. Rool were bragging about who is the better villain, and then they decided to find out who is the better villain. K. Rool rushed to Toad Town to kidnap Peach and Bowser rushed to Donkey Kong Island to steal Donkey Kong's Banana Hoard once again. Unfortunately, when K. Rool arrived in Toad Town, Mario saw him and contacted HQ. Officer Smashtoad came to the scene and put K. Rool under arrest. K. Rool then told Smashtoad that Bowser was on his way to DK Island. Smashtoad then send his son, Agent Brawltoad to arrest Bowser. After finding Bowser on the open sea, the overgrown reptile was arrested. Bowser and K. Rool will be serving 6 weeks in prison.
2. Spike's Birthday Blowout
Spike's birthday was nearing, and he invited all his friends, except Wario, because he would eat all the cake. Angered by this, Wario decided to crash the party. While Spike was out shopping, Wario broke down his front door and put a Bob-omb in the cake Spike baked. When the party started, Wario looked from a distance. Spike then put on what he thought was a candle that stuck out of the top of the cake, but it was actually the Bob-omb's fuse. The cake exploded on contact with the blowtorch. Spike's neighbour, Ptooie, heard the explosion and then saw Wario laughing in the distance. He then contacted HQ. Later, Wario was still laughing, when handcuffs came onto him. Agent Kooper then said: Ok sir, your under arrest for crashing a birthday party.. How did you know? Wario responded? Mr. Ptooie saw you laughing and tattled, Kooper replied. I'll get you Ptooieeeeeeee! Wario screamed as he was escorted to prison. Wario will be serving in prison for a month.
So yeah, 3 thugs are in their cells. I am Chief Alexneushoorn, and I say: Be safe around streets full of criminals.
Hello everybody! Roserade here! I'm SO excited to get the job, and it's not too late to say it, happy Valentine's Day!
And know, to help here in the station, here is, HARRY POTTER!
Harry: It's exciting to help here in the station, and I'll do my best to be great!
Me: Right. Anyway, here's the story the Cheif wanted me to give today!
THE CASE OF THE MUGGLER
Harry: Uh oh.
Me: Yesterday Tom Toadsman was walking down a long, dark alley. Nobody knows why, but reporters say he was drunk at the time. Anyway, he was walking down a long, dark alley when a boy ran up to him and yelled, "STUPIFY!" That's when Tom blacked out after a huge blinding light filled the alley. When policeman at Toad Bros. Police arrived, Tom was still breathing but almost dead. Eventually, he woke up and described the boy. The boy had a long cloak, black hair, glasses, and had a scar that looked like a lightning bolt on his... hey, wait a minute...
*glances over at Potter's chair, which is empty*
Well, that's it. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to find Potter. I just hope he's not in another dark alley... Ciao!
And more interviews...
After I had to post bail to get Toadsworth released from Koopa Kapital Inkarceration (yes, it is spelled that way, don't say anything), I am now not only bankrupt, but also in debt. Because of that, my grandparents have now kicked me out of their place until I manage to get paid for an interview for once. So I continue my quest for money, now as a... hobo of sorts I guess?
Today I am at Wendy's Blitz Snarlton Hotel. You know, the one from that game Hotel Mario. With me are two people. They appeared as enemies exclusively in the aforementioned game and haven't been seen since.
HI, everyone! I'm your water-absorbing Co-director, Tucayo, bringing you the truth, no matter how bad it hurts. Last month was a busy one for my forum inbox; I got around 400 PM's, most of them related to my mafia, and that made it a difficult quest to search for your questions. I think I found all the questions, and by "all the questions" I mean "the one single question I got". This means I'll have to rant way more than I usually do to fill the space I have to fill, or otherwise MCD will come haunt me at night. After the question I have a super important announcement to make, so you may want to stick around for that. And now, to the question