The 'Shroom:Issue XVI/Fake News

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Fake News

Fake News Team



Local News

BREAKING NEWS

User favorite & Sysop nominee Stooben Rooben has gone missing. It is speculated that Xzelion who took over the Fake News after Stooben Rooben disappeared may be involved somehow. A few days before Stooben Rooben's disappearance, an eye witness heard Xzelion talking to others about the fact he'd like to take over Fake News again.

Fake News: What did you hear Xzelion say?

???: He said simply that he'd like to take over the Fake News again, and that he'd talk to Stooben Rooben about a possible regime change.

Fake News: Did he say anything about what would happen if Stooben Rooben declined the offer?

???: Yes, he said his frozen trout would be ready.

Discount

Taco Good has said that if anyone find Stooben Rooben that a reward would be given out, they said that all their food would be sold for 200 Pennies. Taco Good has been the main supply of Tex-Mex food for years the owner Ocat Oneub is a family man hes the father of three Burritos & two hard shell tacos. He had this to say about the reward:

Fake News: What prompted you to do this? Food for 200 Pennies just for finding this one user is kinda outrageous wouldn't you say?

Ocat: Stooben Rooben is a good & loyal customer without him here, our sales have dipped over 50%.

Fake News: How'd you come up with that number?

Ocato: 50 is my favorite number, and please if you find Stooben Rooben, come by and get your food for 99 Pennies.

Fake News: Whoa, 99 Pennies? Whats that like 3 Dollars?

Obituaries

By: Stooben Rooben

Francis SPM trans.png

Francis – (Nerr-herr)

Francis, an overtly nerdy chameleon, died two weeks ago from a heartattack. While coming home from the theatre, (after watching The Grodus Chronicles Movie), he encountered a totally hot babe. Panicking, he pulled out his Nerr2Babe device, and began to "romantically" question the totally hot babe. After several questions, it was reported she said "Eww! Now way, you creep!" She then splashed water on Francis and his hi-technicaaaaaal Nerr2Babe device. After sudden dissapointment from rejection, Francis had a totally hot, yet very hi-technicaaaaaal heartattack.

Smash Ball – (Um, what?)

A Smash Ball died (?) last night from critical internal...trauma. Earlier today, the four culprits were identified to be Mario, Samus Aran, Solid Snake, and Fox McCloud. While in the midst of a brawl, the four noticed the innocent Smash Ball fluttering about. Fox reportedly charged up to it and said, "Hey, 'sup? Wanna hear a joke? What's black, blue, and red all over? ...YOU!" It was then reported that the four FLUDDed, blasted, bombed, and landmastered to Smash Ball. It then slowly died an inevitable death. BRAWLERS BEWARE!! Abusing Smash Balls is a criminal offense! If you want to pummel something, pummel that blue hedgehog everyone hates!

Poll

By: Master Crash

Who is the best Character in Mario Kart Wii, to make they're first Spin - Off Appearance?

Baby Daisy
Dry Bowser
Baby Peach
Funky Kong

Fake Games

So...today, the game is....Paper Mario DS!

(I think they already released that!)

Oh. Well, then. It's gonna be Super Smash Bros. DS

(YAY)

Game: Super Smash Bros. DS Genre: Fighting Platform: DS

I think you know how Smash Bros. works. No, this is NOT a hoax. You touch your character to jump, draw a line to punch, draw a line while holding L or R for a special move, and so on.

Look! I even have a screenshot of it!

f_SBDSm_c12a896.png What? That's just a pic from Smash Bros. Dojo with a crappy DS drawn with it? Oh. Sorry.

[Door breaks down]

No. NOT AGAIN! Seriously, I do not want to get sued again.

Nooooo........


Fake Images

Delfino_islands.JPG

Cooking Guide

By: Yoshster

Jelly Super

Ingredients: 1. 1 Super shroom 2. 1 oz of maple syrup 3. 2 oz of jammin' jelly

Procedure:

1. Boil super shroom for approximately 5 minutes 2. While boiling the super shroom in a boil the jamming jelly slowly adding the maple syrup 3. After boiling both the super shroom and "jelly mixture" lather the mixture onto the super shroom and let cool

Special Shake

Ingredients :

1.1 Apple 2.1 Melon 3.5 grams of sugar 4.2 grams of salt 5.1 lemon 6.1 lime 7. 2 oz of green food coloring

Procedure: 1. First squeeze the lemon and lime juice out of them into a pitcher 2. Add the sugar and salt 3.Next slice and chop the melon and crush the bits to extract the juice, repeat this with the apple 4. Add the food coloring 5. take the mixture and in a blender blend it together with ice...

Travel Guide

By: Stumpers Fake News, Travel Guide -- Excess Express

Welcome to another 'Shroom Travel Guide! Last time, we revealed the chilled, subtle wonder of Joke's End. Unfortunately, we received several complains from cold readers as a response, so this time we're covering the Excess Express.

This gloriously extravegant train travels from Rogueport to Poshley Heights over the course of three days. Of course, who would take a train such as the Excess Express for the destination? The train ride itself is what draws people from all over the nation. That, and the possibility of seeing the beautiful engine. One Lakitu has not moved from his spot staring at the engine at the Rogueport Station. Ever. He claims to have, but he hasn't. It's lies.

Regardless, every inch of the train is well-planned and detailed. In addition to the posh bedrooms, there is a restaurant run by a hot courteous young lady Toad. This being the Mushroom Kingdom, you can enter the front of the train and watch the conductor without fear of being tackled by heavily armed military men dressed as civilians and being strip searched. The conductor of the Excess Express is very dedicated, and appreciative of his luck in driving such a beautiful engine: the conductor has not moved from his spot driving the train. Ever. He claims to have, but he hasn't. It's lies.

The Excess Express includes an fully stocked store, full of Mushrooms and other items one would need on a trip. But bring your own toothbrush, they do not sell them. Actually, don't. There are no bathrooms either. In fact, while visiting Rogueport and its surrounding areas, you should know that the only bathroom is located in the Glitz Pit minor league locker rooms or in Princess Peach's old room on the Moon, a minor inconvenience.

Other considerations for your trip: be careful of Smorg, the Shadow Sirens, Doopliss disguised as Zip T., and the waitress. Her slap is painful. Reserve tickets from Frankie the mob boss early, because they are in high demand. This may or may not be caused by a certain slightly plump Toad who continuously rides the train, unable to get through the door... but then again, the Toad has not moved from his spot in his room. Ever. He claims to have, but he hasn't. It's lies.


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