The 'Shroom:Issue 226/Critic Corner
Director's Notes
Welcome to 2026!! ššš New year, new Critic Corner, new me, new you? Maybe! Each new year brings us fresh new things, and the continued life of what we love, so keep on truckin' because what else can you do?
Congratulations to Elemental Enemies and Boo1268 (talk) for winning December's Critic Corner Section(s) of the Month!! Be sure to give your love to all of our sections here, and give a shout out to our writers whether in chat or in their forum threads dedicated to their sections. Be sure to vote vote vote!
And now for my regular announcements: We've decided to implement in Critic Corner something similar to News Flush over in Fake News, where no formal sign-up application process is required for one-time or limited sections. From now on if you just want to send in a single review for something you just read, watched played, tried, whatever, you just have to send me your review privately either to me directly in chat, or in a message to me on the forum at least one week before each 'Shroom is to be released! There's no commitment or obligation to provide a full monthly section (although you absolutely can shift it into one if you so choose), just send us your thoughts on a thing and we'll feature it here! If you have any questions or curiosities about this, please feel free to ask!
As always, if you would like to help Critic Corner, we always have openings for more writers! You are free to write for sections such as Character Review and Movie Review, or really anything you'd like to do! There's no pressure to have a huge section; they can be shorter and concise! The application process is very simple, starting with reading the Sign Up page, and sending your application to MightyMario on the forum. Any idea you have is welcome, and if you have any questions or need help signing up, please feel free to reach out to myself or other 'Shroom peeps!
Section of the Month
| CRITIC CORNER SECTION OF THE MONTH | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Place | Section | Votes | % | Writer |
| 1st | Elemental Enemies | 8 | 33.33% | Boo1268 (talk) |
| 2nd | Anton's Half-Baked Reviews | 7 | 29.17% | Hypnotoad (talk) |
| 2nd | A Look at Mario Enemies Lost to Time | 7 | 29.17% | Shoey (talk) |
'Shroom FM
Welcome to the final "best albums of 2025" list ever. If I make the final one that means this one is objectively correct. Nobody else make one please.
Last January I said "The year is basically over, we have not had any new trends yet. We need to write this one off and start stockpiling feuds and new pop stars for 2026." I thought that was a joke. Well, maybe we also won't get any new music this year.
Honourable Mentions
While 2025 was a bit of a stagnant year for popular music, it must have been a good year for me because thereās a fair bit of stuff Iām disappointed that I couldnāt include in the top 40. Maybe an easy solution would be expanding to an even 50, I even have 10 albums listed below - so if you really want to, you can order these however you'd like. Sadly I do not.
- Pulp - More ā Some brilliant tracks here; I enjoy "Spike Island" more every time I listen to it and "Tina" is up there with their best for me.
- JADE - Thatās Showbiz Baby! - Plenty of great pop bangers here. I wrote a long review of this one last month.
- SnƵƵper - Worldwide - A lot of fun even if the songs arenāt always as snappy as their last one. The "egg punks" are eating good.
- Annahstasia - Tether ā Lovely, her vocal performance is just sublime.
- Big Thief - Double Infinity - Itās not up there with their best, but the fuller sound of the production does lend itself to some very warm and satisfying moments .
- Squid - Cowardsā¦ Iām just glad that theyāre still good after that one bad album they did from a few years ago.
- Darkside - Nothing - Very cool, deep and mysterious atmosphere; clicked a lot more than Spiral.
- Saba and No ID - From the Private Collection of Saba and No ID - Just a really slick and well-produced collection of songs.
- Marina Sena - Coisas Naturais - Fun!
- Marco Castello - Quaglia Sovversiva - Could easily slot into the main list but I only just listened to it today (as in, the day you are reading this). Everything I've heard from this guy is a joy to listen to though.
I don't normally check out reissues, expanded editions etc. - but Bruce Springsteenās Nebraska ā82 was amazing to delve into; as a huge fan of the album itās incredible to hear some of these tracks, particularly Electric Nebraska and the earlier versions of some Born in the USA tracks.
Best Albums of 2025
| #40 |  |
Jacob Alon In Limerance |
#39 |  |
Stereolab Instant Holograms on Metal Film |
| A very impressive debut; really sharp songwriting, bright and introspective. | I listened to a lot of Stereolab this year... and yes, they still have it! | ||||
| #38 |  |
Tropical Fuck Storm Fairyland Codex |
#37 |  |
Gelli Haha Switcheroo |
| Heavy and gritty sound with plenty of dark, strange and enticing songs. | Unabashedly playful and imaginative, just pure fun to listen to. | ||||
| #36 |  |
Panda Bear Sinister Grift |
#35 |  |
Just Mustard WE WERE JUST HERE |
| Charming psychedelic record with a reassuringly familiar yet surreal vibe. | The noisy, intense atmosphere works so well alongside the pure dreaminess of the vocals. | ||||
| #34 |  |
iANO Be Again |
#33 |  |
Greg Freeman Burnover |
| So many sounds and ideas at play here, it's just great to delve into. | Simply a very sharp collection of songs from a brilliant alt-country songwriter. | ||||
| #32 |  |
Lucy Gooch Desert Window |
#31 |  |
Jason Isbell Foxes in the Snow |
| Makes great use of vocal layering and harmonies to build a gorgeous atmosphere. | Bittersweet album; very personal and cutting moments but some lovely spots of light. | ||||
| #30 |  |
Titanic Hagen |
#29 |  |
The Beths Straight Line Was a Lie |
| Strange and bold pop album that's full of creativity. | Certainly feels different to their other albums, but still warm, bright and endearing. | ||||
| #28 |  |
Olivia Dean The Art of Loving |
#27 |  |
Los Thuthanaka Los Thuthanaka |
| Gorgeous collection of love songs; fantastic growth as a songwriter. | Unlike anything else I've heard this year (maybe ever)... absolutely massive. | ||||
| #26 |  |
McKinley Dixon Magic, Alive! |
#25 |  |
Natalia Lafourcade Cancionera |
| Sharp and ambitious both writing and production-wise, some real killer tracks here. | As always, sublime vocals and guitarwork, really lush and full of soul. | ||||
| #24 |  |
Blawan SickElixir |
#23 |  |
Mark William Lewis Mark William Lewis |
| All over the place. Noisy and dense, with wildly distorted beats and samples. | Late discovery for me but fantastic debut! Lovely textures in the instrumentation. | ||||
| #22 |  |
Men I Trust Equus caballus |
#21 |  |
Hannah Frances Nested in Tangles |
| Quite understated but full of immaculate, lush pop songs. | Wonderfully bold and innovative folk album, so full of life and energy. | ||||
| #20 |  |
Destroyer Dan's Boogie |
#19 |  |
Japanese Breakfast For Melancholy Brunettes (& Sad Women) |
| There definitely feels like a maturer edge to their sound here, some of their best songs both lyrically and musically in years. | Shame that the reception to this one has been a bit lukewarm, there's a lot to enjoy here. Lush and (unsurprisingly) melancholic, with a few immense highs. | ||||
| #18 |  |
Anna von Hausswolff Iconoclasts |
#17 |  |
Sam Fender People Watching |
| The scale of this is something to behold. It's more "accessible" (not the right word) than her other work I've heard but the atmosphere and darkness are just as vivid. | Sam Fender's songwriting has a really distinct voice and a lot of heart, and his style feels expanded and refined so much in many of the songs here. | ||||
| #16 |  |
Giant Claw Decadent Stress Chamber |
#15 |  |
Rochelle Jordan Through the Wall |
| More glitchy and surreal pop songs with so many fantastic, strange elements that come together so well; very dynamic. | Amazingly tight and consistent hour of deep house; such a great energy running throughout. Wonderful to sink into. | ||||
| #14 |  |
UNIVERSITY McCartney, It'll Be OK |
#13 |  |
Ceephax Acid Crew Slam Zone |
| Absolutely manic stuff; impossible to predict where it's going next and really creative and engaging from start to finish. | Long and dense but this is just such a fun, uplifting and rewarding techno album. "Slamuel Bepys" may well be the funniest song title of all time. | ||||
| #12 |  |
Nourished by Time The Passionate Ones |
#11 |  |
Oneohtrix Point Never Tranquilizer |
| Big fan of his last album and this doesn't disappoint at all, fantastic vocal performance and very dynamic songwriting, some of the sharpest tunes of the year. | Creates such a vast and detailed atmosphere which remains fresh and engrossing in both its busier and quieter moments. |
| #10 |  |
CMAT - EURO-COUNTRY |
|---|---|---|
| I liked this the first time I'd listened to it but not everything had fully clicked into place - however, going back and listening to these songs more has brought this way up for me. CMAT's voice as a songwriter is refined and engaging here - very entertaining, sure, but also handles the album's more serious moments very well with some really fantastic lyricism. Also, importantly, many of the songs are very good! | ||
| #9 |  |
Jim Legxacy - Black British Music (2025) |
| The core theme of "Black British Music" at the heart of this is explored so well here, with inspiration from such a varied range of genres and styles as well as a bit of pop culture from the past 25-ish years. Really inventive and unique production with a lot of creativity and subtle touches, and Legxacy's lyricism and performance is stellar. | ||
| #8 |  |
PinkPantheress - Fancy That |
| A short mixtape at just 22 minutes but these songs are so tightly produced and imaginative that it feels like a full, satisfying project, nor does it outstay its welcome. It wears its inspriation clearly on its sleeve with a lot of '00s pop samples, some more obvious than others, but the way these are incorporated doesn't feel cheap at all - these songs are all very much her own, and they're all bangers. | ||
| #7 |  |
Erika de Casier - Lifetime |
| A wonderful downtempo album that's fairly subtle but full of charm... The songs themselves aren't particularly long but there's more than enough going on that makes them all stand out, especially through these little intricate moments and noises, and the atmosphere as a whole is just so well-crafted - very rich and rewarding to ease into. | ||
| #6 |  |
Sudan Archives - THE BPM |
| Was surprised at first by the change in direction from Natural Brown Prom Queen but Sudan Archives just slips into the computery, dancier sound of this so effortlessly, and it's to great effect as there's just so many great tunes here and some very cool, unique sounds. A lot of creativity in the songwriting and even the weaker moments are still a lot of fun. | ||
| #5 |  |
MIKE - Showbiz! |
| MIKE has a distinct style and although I've listened to a fair few of his projects, they've not always fully clicked - Showbiz! is definitely an exception to that and a welcome one. Some of the best beats I've heard from him on here, with inventive sampling as always and a lot of warmth. A lot of moments which stood out for me lyrically as well, very introspective and emotive. | ||
| #4 |  |
Ichiko Aoba - Luminescent Creatures |
| A gorgeous folk album with a wonderful nocturnal atmosphere - very calm and ethereal sound to this. Aoba's guitarwork and vocals are always at the centre but the other instrumentation here comes together really well in its more dynamic moments. The theming around nature, the ocean and the creatures within is really well executed and adds a lot of depth. | ||
| #3 |  |
Ninajirachi - I Love My Computer |
| Glitchy, dense and endlessly bright and energetic. The sound Ninajirachi cultivates here is just such a blast to dive into and sustains such a high and infectious energy throughout. There's a lot of inspiration from late '00s and early '10s EDM and electropop - plus nostalgia in general for and internet culture of that era and it's all tied together perfectly. | ||
| #2 |  |
Black Country, New Road - Forever Howlong |
| As someone who never got as much out of BCNR's previous incarnation as everyone else seemed to, this album felt like a much needed refresh. As a six-piece band it feels a lot more like every individual member's contribution is brought to the forefront and it's a great showcase for their talents, particularly the wide range of instrumentation and sharing of vocal duties. Very vivid and well-written lyrics, and some lovely progressive songwriting throughout. | ||
| #1 |  |
Geese - Getting Killed |
| I told you this would be here last month. It took a while for me to check out Getting Killed as I wasn't huge on 3D Country, but this really just clicked for me straight away. Not a weak or wasted moment across this whole thing, the production and instrumentation are so rich that it all comes alive, both in the more manic and complex passages and the quieter, subtler moments. Some brilliantly surreal lyricism across the whole thing, and Winter's vocal performance matches everything else that happens perfectly. |
Best EPs of 2025
Thereās some stellar beats on Proc Fiskalās Canticle Hardposte ā very intricate production which has a really neat futuristic feel to it. Oli XLās Lick the Lens - Pt. 1 is similarly cool and well-produced and thereās some real bangers here, though obviously thereās more still to come with that one.
After put out two EPs this year which I thought were decent if sometimes a bit too conventional ā while "300 dreams" from the first one is definitely my favourite track from both, the second one overall hit the mark a lot more for me. Trouble by Nuovo Testamento is also an EP clearly going for a retro sound with neat '90s-inspired dance elements and a few really cool highlights.
NilĆ¼fer Yanya's Dancing Shoes was also a neat EP. Definitely enjoyed some of these tracks more than a few from Method Actor.
Worst Albums of 2025
I feel bad highlighting this as itās not something Iād normally go out of my way to listen to, but my least favourite album from 2025 was Demi Lovatoās Itās Not That Deep. There really is nothing going on with this album - the songs themselves aren't awful but there's just nothing to them, nothing that stands out, nothing that hasn't already been done to death, and no energy in Demi's performance. The production is very bright and glittery but nowhere near enough to distract from how bland everything else about it is. It really is not that deep, though, so fair play.
Otherwise, viagr aboys by Viagra Boys was definitely a letdown after a relatively decent start. I think they do have a good energy and a unique voice, and some of the songs here are catchy, but it all starts to wear thin very quickly on this album as the songwriting just doesn't hold up after the first few tracks.
Wolf Alice's The Clearing was also a mess - there's just no consistent voice across this whole thing, there's a lot of different styles and ideas but nothing feels cohesive or connected and that means that it just lacks any identity. I'm not huge on Visions of a Life or Blue Weekend but at least you can clearly tell those are Wolf Alice albums, which is unfortunately much more than you can say for this one.
Further Listening
As a bonus, I've compiled a playlist of my favourite discoveries from 2025 which didn't come out in 2025 (i.e. from 2024 and earlier). Take a listen here!
Thank you for reading or not reading this whole thing. See you next time!
Yoshi18 Reviews
Hey everyone! I hope you all had a Merry Christmas, a Happy New Year and a wonderful first 17 days of 2026! Today we're back with the first 2026 edition of Yoshi18 Reviews! For the first edition of 2026 we'll review the game I got for my birthday back in October; Mario Golf: Super Rush!
Mario Golf: Super Rush
Golf Adventure
I haven't played the whole story mode yet. I only played some of it but I watched many videos over the full story and it looks good for a golfing game. Solid story in trying to become the best, facing off against bosses and the final boss. It truly has the ability to feel like an adventure!
Golf
This one's a classic so there's not really much to say about it. It largely remains the same as it did back in Mario Golf: World Tour.
Speed Golf
This is the main addition of the game (despite all the other new additions to the game). And before you say it, they changed this from Mario Golf: World Tour's version, so it counts as addition. I honestly like the concept of this and the fast-paced gameplay. And the best thing remains to be: I don't have to wait for these slow CPUs to finally finish their turn so I can hit the ball again.
Battle Golf
This is basically Speed Golf but now weāre in the opening cutscene's stadium and you need to hit your ball into 3 holes before anyone else. Once again I like how this plays. And I mainly like how you're able to shoot a Bob-omb to someone standing at the complete other side of the map!
Target Golf
Probably my favorite mode so far! This is definitely better than Wii Sports' version, though I guess this is mostly since Mario Golf: Super Rush makes it easier for you to know where the ball goes by showing you the directory and the buttoned controls are of course also better than swinging the Wii Remote. Anyway, to go back to what I was talking about. For this mode, you gotta be precise for this and that's my specialty! After a couple times trying to get my ball on the middle circle (the one that awards the most points, which is 40 on normal zones and 100 on the Star zone), I finally get the good alignment and know exactly how far I need to shoot my golfball, which means an almost guaranteed max points every round. The Star zone is the only one that's pretty hard for me to figure out, but I'm working on it!
My final opinion
This game is pretty solid. Definitely the best of the Mario Golf games to date. Though the only downgrade are the post-hole animations. They were so much more expressive and cool in World Tour and they're way too simple in this game. They could've done it so much better on that part.
Outro
And there's the first edition of 2026! Once again thank you all for being with me back in 2025! It was wonderful! And let's hope that 2026 (or at least the remaining 348 days of it) will be wonderful as well! Stay safe and cya all next time!
Book Review
| Best Offer Wins | |
|---|---|
| |
| Author | Marisa Kashino |
| Release date | 2025 |
| Genre | thriller |
| Pages | 288 |
| Available From | |
Hi everybody, welcome back to a new year of Book Review! This month, I will be taking a look at Best Offer Wins by Marisa Kashino!
Last fall, I decided to subscribe to Book of the Month, with the caveat to myself that I would use it to try new books that I wouldn't have chosen myself in a bookstore (i.e. I am not allowed to pick the romance every month for an easy choice.) I have only received 5 boxes so far, but I have had fun with four of the books (number 5 is sitting on my TBR right now) and I am looking forward to the rest of the year. All of that out of the way to say, Best Offer Wins was my December pick.
Best Offer Wins opens with our main character, Margo, receiving a phone call about a house that will be going up for sale soon in her area. Margo and her husband are stuck in a tiny apartment in Washington D.C. and they have tried eleven times to buy a house in the area, losing out each and every time. Another buyer offered cash. The owner took 30K over offer. They weren't quick enough. Margo is frustrated with the housing market, but when she sees the prospective house, she realizes it's perfect- big backyard, great location, beautiful kitchen. She has to have this house. This is The One. Margo is determined to buy this house before it goes on the market and the masses descend on it. But how far is she willing to go for the perfect house?
For this book, having some knowledge of the housing market will make you a little more sympathetic to Margo's plight. I had a couple coworkers that were trying to buy a house in the last five years. One of them got beaten in the bidding war because another buyer offered 70K over the asking price, and the other made a deal with the homeowners to give them six months to move out of the house after she bought it. Needless to say, the American housing market has been crazy for a long time, and it doesn't seem to be getting better. So I could understand what Margo was going through- she wants to be out of her current situation but there isn't anywhere she can go, unless she wants to leave the area (which she doesn't.) Margo's dedication is truly admirable, though her actions range from cringey to despicable. The day that my box came in with this book inside, I finished it, because I couldn't put it down. It is on the shorter side, but once this book gets going, it's hard to put down. You want to know what happens next. I'm not even a thriller person but I was hooked.
Let's talk about Margo next. Book of the Month had a tag on the selection page that said 'unlikeable narrator', warning that Margo was going to be an unlikeable person, and that's the mindset I went into this book with. Margo is going to be a terrible person and I'm going to hate her. Got it. Except, she's not that unlikeable. She's surrounded by other people who also do some pretty terrible things, she needs some therapy (and also probably a prescription for a mood stabilizer), but she has a job she loves (and her boss doesn't seem to be a terrible person, either). I liked Margo. She's sarcastic and angry and conniving, but she didn't feel unrealistic. All the press and blurbs around this book say "Margo is unlikeable but you'll end up rooting for her!" and you know, they're right. I was on her side for pretty much the entire book. She's got more chutzpah than I do, that's for sure, she knows what she wants and she goes out and gets it. And yes, her actions are bad, but surrounded by the people she is, I almost can't blame her for the lows she goes to. Almost. She is responsible for everything she does, but I can understand where she is coming from.
If you're a thriller person, I would recommend Best Offer Wins to you. If you're tearing your hair out because you're trying to buy a house, I would recommend this book to you. If you're full of feminine rage and sometimes you just want to scream at the sky, I would recommend this book to you. And if you're like me and one of your New Year's resolutions is to try more new books, you should try this one. Book of the Month knew what they were doing when they picked this one. Maybe I'll feature more picks from them this year, we'll have to see.
That's all for me this month, readers! Join me next time to dive into another book!
Winter Leftovers
So a lot of stuff I bought for Christmas I didnāt actually eat or try until...Christmas day. Alarming concept, I suppose, but what that meant was a lot of things I could put in Decemberās review wouldnāt be touched until 5 days after the December review posted up. So, weāre here now, in January, having some holiday leftovers! What this also means is a lot of the seasonal stuff you can buy for winter is primarily consumed and assessed on Christmas Day or New Yearās Eve 2025 with my family and friends watching me take dozens of pictures of each setup.
Charbonnel et Walker Eggnog Truffles
Charbonnel et Walker is a luxury chocolatier, founded in 1875 in vaguely royal contexts (and very quickly undergoing several changes such as Virginie Charbonnel leaving the partnership after only 3 years and eventual liquidation by 1894). Located on the fabulously wealthy Bond Street in London since inception, Charbonnel et Walker has become nearly synonymous with British royalty, celebrity, and haute couture, including holding a royal warrant of appointment. As opposed to Vosges, which is just a hokey tourist trap-tier fraudulent scheme masquerading as high brow elite quality, an actual British told me that Charbonnel et Walker is actually considered posh and high quality, a genuine product that exudes old money nostalgia and refinement. As typical of chocolatiers and chocolate shops they primarily manufacture and sell truffles, and specialize in curated and themed sets.
I bought this at Williams Sonoma during a post-Christmas sale, where the original price was $30 for what ended up being 10 total pieces, but I only ended up paying about $6 after several rounds of discounts and added sales on top of clearances. This is pretty much the only way I shop at Williams Sonoma, not just because their prices are wildly absurd, but because their markdowns happen with such incredible regularity that itās become a bit of an all-holiday tradition for myself. I selected this box of Eggnog Truffles because it honestly seemed like the most interesting one, a bit of an offbeat flavor that justifies the mini-splurge as I just never feel good about spending too much on plain chocolate or treats that are primarily graphic design and paper flair. I wonāt deny, though, that the gold trim on this box was a bit enticing. It also surprised me a bit, as eggnog is absolutely not a common or popular flavor in the United Kingdom, with many British friends of mine telling me theyāre barely aware it even exists and that itās an American thing; this, which furthermore confuses me, as eggnog has its origins and majority of its history in England, though itās undeniable that its popularity in the US skyrocketed as it diminished into a strange historical holiday boozy sludge in the UK.
Described on the package as āwhite chocolate truffles with a seasonal eggnog flavor centre, infused with brandy and nutmegā, and I canāt issue too many faults because it gave exactly what it said. Pretty good subtle flavor, with the nutmeg being the most forward but brandy there as well; sweet, woody, maybe a little smoky, fruity, little whispers of complexity held well within a satisfying bite through the white chocolate shell into buttery filling. Notable that these arenāt meant to be scarfed down, and instead savored and maybe let melt in your mouth a bit as you slowly eat them, because the eggnog flavors creep in underneath the rather thick white chocolate shell. I appreciate the dusting of powdered sugar on top, as it helps prevent the chocolate from melting against the box or in your hands as quickly as it would without and also makes these truffles look like little snowballs for a perfect festive spread, but it does render a level of dryness that I think hinders savoring them and encourages more biting right into them to chew quickly. I know for sure that these would not have been successful as a dark chocolate, and I think even as a milk chocolate it would end up tasting more nutty than what eggnog should be; white chocolate was the correct choice here, as it gives off not much more than a bit of sweetness. As I eat a few more itās apparent the white chocolate shell is quite a bit thicker than what youād see with a Lindtās Lindor truffle, which makes these feel a bit heftier and worthwhile, posing a little bit more of an argument for why theyāre so expensive.
The only other review I can find out there of this specific truffle flavor is a video featuring a guy who's confused that a liquid drink could inspire a flavor, so I suppose I'm now the leading expert. Itās exactly what it says it is, performs as well as it claims, and looks good while doing it, so Iād probably be willing to pay more than $6 to try another in the future.
Siete Mini BuƱuelos
After technically enjoying the Siete Mexican Hot Chocolate Cookies last month, I figured Iād give something else of theirs a try. Their Mini BuƱuelos seemed to be the obvious choice, not just due to their seasonal nature, but because it seems like Sprouts and Whole Foods forecasted an absurd amount of these to sell and ended up having multiple endcaps and gondola shelves and lobby displays absolutely loaded with theseāa detail I recall from years before, too.
According to their own Siete-Pedia, ā(...) buƱuelos are a holiday tradition that ring in the excitement and festivity of the season with every delicious bite. In South Texas, theyāre traditionally made from fried tortillas and topped with cinnamon and sugar (...) Serve with a cup of coffee or hot chocolate and taste what itās like to celebrate the season with Siete.ā Though not exactly made in the traditional way, Sieteās are made with cassava flour, avocado oil, tapioca starch, coconut sugar, cinnamon, sea salt, vanilla bean, agave syrup, pumpkin powder, and psyllium husk powder making them grain-free, gluten-free, dairy-free, and vegan.
These were slightly disappointing entirely from my own fault and assumption. I figured these would be a bit more like chips, but instead they were basically like rice crackersāextremely light and airy, with no true density to withstand much force at all, seeming to be a dainty vessel only for cinnamon sugar that really didnāt feel too present compared to other cinnamon-flavored snacks. Iām unsure how traditional buƱuelos taste and feel like, but the ingredients and process is extremely straightforward and easy to imagine what itād be like as itās just very thin deep fried dough sprinkled with cinnamon, sugar, and whatever else, and Sieteās just didnāt fit that imagination. Given that the current Wikipedia image for these looks like a beginner-level homemade donut more than anything, along with the vast list of regional variations, I feel itās safe to assume that a buƱuelo can be whatever you want it to be as long as itās fried dough of some kind. Gluten-free breads tend to be denser, as itās gluten that gives support to the airy structure that rises in bread, but the psyllium husk powder is added in an attempt to mimic. I wouldāve loved to dip these into something but they just lacked a strong enough body to be anything more than a standalone dessert-like snack that just kinda sat there. Theyāre not bad, really, theyāre not!! Itās just another product that doesnāt seem to be for me, as I enjoy my fried dough treats to be fluffy, cakey, actually a bit greasy, and ultimately fresh and warm like youād get at a county fair. I think this is just an attempt by Siete to market a holiday tradition to people who canāt be bothered to do it themselves when a homemade version would be infinitely more fun and versatile and almost certainly taste a lot better, but thatās hardly a critique as that same statement can apply to nearly everything. Thereās quite a few recipe ideas on their website that highlight these in what I believe to be a better light, as an ingredient to crumble up as a topping or added crunch, which I think I could honestly see as something Iād try. As a chip, though, itās a great gluten-free option for those who need it, but I donāt.
Wonderful Sweet Cinnamon Pistachios
I picked these up at Sprouts one day because pistachios tend to be very expensive, but as the holiday was winding down these were heavily discountedā$4.99 for a 5.5oz bag with a regular price of $9.49. Wonderful Sweet Cinnamon Pistachios promise to be sweet, crunchy, and similar to a cinnamon roll. These have no shells, which is important to specify as they do offer shelled pistachios as well. It just never clicked for me until a couple months ago how large of a company Wonderful is, how expansive their lineup is, how impactful they are on the global environment. I pieced together Wonderful Pistachios and POM Wonderful, but they also produce Justin wines, FIJI Water, Suterra, and a handful of other specialty produce and vineyards. The fact that their seedless lemons come with a Non-GMO Project Verified label despite āinnovative breeding techniquesā literally being genetic modification tells you everything you need to know about how bullshit that entire label is with how they handwave selective breeding as being ok but are afraid of using tools to do it, and how scientific illiteracy and misinformation has annihilated our entire culture and food ecosystem by redirecting rage away from rapidly degrading conditions in the agriculture and meat industries due to revoked regulations and instead towards āchemicals badā. I just think that, even if there's nothing nefarious behind the non-gmo project, it's a weapon that's used by people pushing for scientific illiteracy so they can peddle anti-vax legislation and plant-based protein powders. Anyways, sweet cinnamon pistachios.
Unfortunately, pistachios are quite earthy and buttery, relatively, and the brown sugar and molasses added only enhances that and nearly pushes it into savory territory, making this smell like dog food when opening the bag. Even more unfortunately, the dog food smell is also in the taste, making these pretty hard to actually enjoy, and really throws into question why these are called āsweet cinnamonā. If I have just a few then the cinnamon and sugar are more prominent, but if I eat a handful then the pistachioās own taste comes out more, so I think Iām just not the right audience for this and would instead be more interested in cashews or pecans that lean nuttier and sweeter. These arenāt bad, just with the promise of cinnamon rolls I expected these to be a bit more indulgent and a lot sweeter than what they were, especially when the most basic honey roasted peanuts offer just simply a much better experience for a much better price.
Jeniās Boozy Eggnog Ice Cream
Itās a little concerning to me that Iāve made a habit out of routinely cycling through grocery store seasonal ad displays to find something I havenāt seen before, not because I think Iām a weirdo for it because I know Iām a weirdo in much more substantial ways, but mostly because Iām running out of places to look. Whole Foods tends to be a place I can regularly expect to see SOMETHING different in their refrigerated or frozen endcap displays, and this time it was ice cream I went for. Retailing at $8.29, with a Prime discount at $6.79 for a pint, Jeniās Boozy Eggnog Ice Cream was my choice of brand and flavor because it just felt right for me; I want to know how well they do the eggnog flavor, I want to know just how alcoholic it feels, I want to actually try a pint of Jeniās because I think Iāve only ever tried their scoop shops as those tend to be the only way Iām tricked into spending such a colossal percentage of my paycheck on a couple scoops. This is one of the more expensive ice creams, defended against ire by claiming high-quality ingredients, unique flavors, fair trade practices, and a premium experience. Jeniās Splendid Ice Cream has a national reputation for being thoughtful and artisanal, and Iām hoping to see why.
This version is a relaunch from 2022 of a flavor theyāve had a few times for around a decade, partnering with Uncle Nearest Premium Whiskey, along with using grass-grazed milk, a salted custard base, and flavored with nutmeg and madagascar bourbon vanilla. Iāve had eggnog ice cream before, and can explain again and again that the same ingredients that go into plain ice cream are the same ones you use to make eggnog leaving it so the only flavor difference remaining is nutmeg and perhaps cinnamon, but this having whiskey in it apparently was enough for me to circle back to and actually buy. Extremely accurate eggnog taste, which I was actually shocked by because nearly all other eggnog-flavored ice cream Iāve had from retailers or specialty shops just end up tasting like just cinnamon, just nutmeg, or nothing at all. Jeniās has a good balance of all of the flavors youāre expecting from eggnog: eggy, creamy, sweet, warm nutmeg, well-respected vanilla, unmistakable whiskey (though no quantifiable alcohol percentage), even the pinch of salt. I appreciate that they left cinnamon out of here, as I feel it wouldāve made it taste fake and made it all about the cinnamon when it should only really exist as a garnish; the whiskey itself added a good warmth and warming quality that effectively rendered cinnamon unnecessary, anyways.
Jeniās uses low-temperature pasteurization for the in-house ice cream, and combined with using grass-grazed milk it makes sense to me why this ice cream tastes just a bit more rich than store brands and cheaper pints. Iāve been chugging low-temp pasteurized creamline milk whenever I get the chance for a while now because itās just a neat thing to find hyper-locally and support in general over the rise of raw milk. It tends to retain much more of the dairy taste, not just creamy smoothness, but the sweetness, the fattiness, the honest fresh barnyard flavor that I understand can be a bit of an acquired taste. Jeniās successfully has this taste, a unique creamy sweetness thatās hard to replicate with no replacement for the real thing, and I understand a bit more now why theyāre more expensive.
It had a strange texture to it, like it was melting but not really forming a liquid, instead just becoming incredibly soft and blobby, resistant to forming a decent scoop, and this genuinely made it feel more like an eggnog to me. Thereās no stabilizer or emulsifier in the ingredients except for egg yolks so the texture does at least make sense, but I think this wouldāve been made perfect if it had more of a traditional and expected ice cream consistency. As it stands, this just isnāt tenable for anything other than solo-devouring straight from the pint, which, sure, thatās pretty much the expectation, but Iām just left imagining this being served in one of their Scoop Shops and having absolutely no ability to form a scoop or even a stable soft-serve structure to fit into a cone. This all concerns me because I see other reviews of this where the ice cream looks normal, and others that look like how mine did, and Iām not sure if itās due to poor quality, improper storage, a break in the cold chain, or something else, but all I know is itās not my fault and Iām starting to think itās fair to include (im)proper product handling as review criteria.
Iāll be honest, I think this is the least amount of items Iāve put into a review in a long time, and it has me conflicted! On one hand Iāve set a high standard for myself to include 5+ items every month, and itās often attainable after overcoming a couple hurdles: items that just arenāt interesting to talk about and needing to be replaced or cut, and life. Many days this month I had set aside to work on reviews in one capacity or another were instead sidetracked with friends wanting to hang out or do stuff, and I canāt be mad at that, I need to embrace it. Maybe this new year I need to look into taking it easier with the intensity of my reviews, or doing smaller ones with intermittent big ones. I donāt know, I donāt know!! What I do know is that my time is limited and finite, and when given the option to spend time with friends or sit in the dark and talk about ingredients, I think thereās a clear winner.
| The 'Shroom: Issue 226 | |
|---|---|
| Staff sections | Staff Notes ā¢ The 'Shroom Spotlight ā¢ Poochy's Picks ā¢ Directorial Address ā¢ Credits |
| Features | Fake News ā¢ Fun Stuff ā¢ Palette Swap ā¢ Pipe Plaza ā¢ Critic Corner ā¢ Strategy Wing |
