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Super Mario Strikers Charged Items
Using our infamous intelligence team and money, we got to have a crack at Super Mario Strikers Charged. The game has many new features, but the thing we liked most were the new creative items.
- Slow Watch – all the players on the field, besides the user, become slower and more sluggish. Although not extremely slow, their speeds will be cut by 25%. Seconds are still counted in normal time.
- Tweester – a huge rampaging Tweester will appear on the field, causing all players it hits to become dizzy. As well as difficulty to control the player, passes and kicks may be screwed up.
- Earthquake – the whole field will rumble, causing all players to be temporarily paralyzed. However, this item can be used to offensive player's strategy, if the correct timing is used. If the player uses Earthquake right after air-kicking the ball towards the goal, the goalie won't be able to block the ball, almost guaranteeing a point.
- Spikes – spikes will appear all over the field, causing any players who touch it to become paralyzed. However, this paralysis lasts longer than the one caused by Earthquake.
The last minute photo taken before the imminent destruction of Sammer's Kingdom.
Today, we cover the calamity witnessed at the Sammer's Kingdom. has been revealed. On ♥♪■, the whole kingdom was vaporized by a huge purple hole called the Void. After the Void devoured the Sammer's Kingdom, all that was left was an endless white road with a few leftover debris. However, seven hours later the kingdom was completely restored. We interviewed a couple of Sammer Guys and asked them on their intakes.
Guy Who Fry: The whole thing happened so fast, I barely realized what was going on. The only thing I remember was losing to a man with a mustache and a cap and a frequent rumblings that happened afterwards.
Footsteps of Coins: Man, I really thought my game was over. Luckily, everything was returned and no one got hurt. I'm just happy that it's over.
The cause of the Void devouring the Sammer's Kingdom and how it came back is still under research.
The S.S. Chuckola with Bloat in tow.
The monthly shipment of Chuckola Cola was spilled due to neglect by the ship crew. Due to this unfortunate event, Chuckola prices will be higher because of Chuckola Cola shortage. The reason of this spill is a crack formed in the holding docks by a skeleton named Bloat. After about a millenium of serving the S.S. Chuckola, Bloat was fired with an additional large fee.
Captain: We had to fire him. This is for the good of him and us. the Chucola Factory manager was really gettting fed-up. This was his sixth screw up. Although I don't know how the crack was made or how he did it, he's gotta be involved somehow.
The next replacement shipment is hopefully going to arrive next week. For now, bear with the Chuckola Cola you got and if your still reading this, hide all the Chuckola you got!
Lost in the Underwhere
Great Gonzo and Plumber fighting for their lives.
Great Gonzo and Plumber (ages 1?,1?) were reported missing for the extensive period of two days. After an extensive search and a message from Plumber, they were found in the Underwhere. We asked these users how they got there and their experience in the Underwhere.
Great Gonzo: When my bro Super paper luigi was testing his newest invention, me and Plumber volunteered to test it for him. Unfortunately, it didn't work out so great and sent us to the Underwhere.
Plumber: I think he was testing some kind of teleporting device. I didn't even know what I was volunteering for back then. I think Professor E. Gadd was helping him. Or I had too much Chuckola Cola today. When we first stepped into the machine and ended up in the Underwhere, I thought our games were over.
We then asked them how the Underwhere was. Suprisingly, there were a lot of positive comments.
Great Gonzo: The Underwhere wasn't as bad as I thought. I thought all the criminal Shaydes and Skellobits would be the end of us. Queen Jaydes gave us a lot of hospitality.
Plumber: Plus, she makes an awesome dead soup with extra eyeballs.
Interview of the Month
Interview with The Master
This month we interview none other than the infamous master of martial arts, The Master of Toad Town. This time, the interviewer is Confused
Confused: What inspired you to be a teacher of martial arts?
The Master: Growing up, protecting and taking care of my little sister was my main priority. We got into danger many time and a picked up a few fighting moves on the way. I constantly kept guard over my sister. But there came a point when she didn't need me as much. So I've been teaching others the art of self-defense, so they can deal in situations like mine ever since.
Confused: How much money do you make?
The Master: For students, I charge 300 coins per month. Freelancing fighters can spar at no cost, but do not receive lessons. Even you can challenge my students to a sparring match and win the First-Degree Card.
Confused: Have you ever been bested in combat?
The Master: Yes, but only once. I believe the challenger who beat me was named Mario. But that was because he had the help of six or seven partners. I highly doubt he could beat me one-on-one.
Confused: With skills like yours, why aren't you saving the world?
The Master: No matter how powerful I am, my sister is still here in Toad Town. I can't just go and an adventure and leave her behind. No true sibling would do that. Besides, I am too old to travel the land in search of trouble. I would rather spend my last days here in Toad Town.
Confused: Can you give me free lessons?
The Master: No.
The Master: No.
Confused: Okay, thank you for allowing me to interview you today. By the way, can I spar with one of your students?
The Master: Sure thing. You can face Chan, my lowest level student. If you manage to win, you can have the First-Degree Card.
Confused: Awesome! Next month, we cover a new exciting person. This is Confused, ending the interview.
Confused ended up fighting and barely winning against Chan.
(Link To Movie Currently not Available)
Right now, Confused is the only member of the Fake News team. A sign-up sheet and recommended positions are available here. Don't be afraid to recommend positions as well. If you are interested, please ask Confused on his talk page.