The 'Shroom:Issue 231/Palette Swap
Director's Notes
Hello, all, and welcome back to another edition of The 'Shroom!
Recently, the severe weather season in my region of the country has taken off like a rocket ship. In the past couple of weeks, we've had many rounds of thunderstorms and severe weather. Somehow, my area wasn't too badly hit by the winds and hail, but our power did not want to stay on during the mess last week. Hopefully whatever has caused the outages has been fixed and we don't have to worry about it anymore.
Our writers, though, haven't run out of power at all! We're wrapping up a few of our guest stories this month, and our comic writers have brought their A-game for you! I won't hold you up here anymore, so have at it!
Happy reading! ~FunkyK38
Section of the Month
It's time for Section of the Month results! Let's take a look! On top once again, we have Hint Toad (talk) and Mushroom Kingdom Comics! Following up is winstein (talk) and The ? Panel! In third , we have Waluigi Time (talk) collaborating with Boo1268 for Shmaluigi, Private Investigator! Congratulations to our top sections, and thank you to everyone who voted!
| PALETTE SWAP SECTION OF THE MONTH | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Place | Section | Votes | % | Writer |
| 1st | Mushroom Kingdom Comics! | 10 | 28.57% | Hint Toad (talk) |
| 2nd | The ? Panel | 8 | 22.86% | winstein (talk) |
| 3rd | Shmaluigi, Private Investigator | 6 | 17.14% | Waluigi Time (talk) and Boo1268 |
Waluigi Time Comic
Drawn by: Waluigi Time (talk)
Written by: MightyMario (talk) and Waluigi Time (talk)
"Beach"
Panel 1 [Cayde and Zerris are relaxing on the beach. Cayde is sitting on a towel, while Zerris sleeps on a beach chair under an umbrella. Bandwich is fighting a seagull trying to take his sandwich in the background.]
Panel 2
[A small "VROOM" effect appears on the right side of the panel. Cayde looks in that direction with a question mark next to her head. Bandwich and the seagull have both abandoned the sandwich and are fleeing towards the left side of the panel.]
Panel 3
[A wide-eyed Cayde tries to run away as a much larger "VROOM!" effect appears.]
Panel 4
[Waluigi Time and Chuck are racing karts through the beach, kicking up lots of sand. Waluigi Time has a gleeful smile while Chuck is holding a banana peel behind him.]
Panel 5
[A visibly shaken Cayde is now sitting on top of a large mound of sand, and the umbrella from earlier is covered in sand next to it. Zerris is completely buried by the sand mound and still snoring.]
The ? Panel
{Both of them come across a gap on the way}
Mario: Are you ready, my friend?
{Yoshi thinks about how Mario might drop him in a pit mid-jump to save himself}
{Yoshi shakes his head}
Mario: Huh, you aren't?
{Yoshi points to Luigi while Mario is out of view, with a thought that Luigi's higher jump compared to Mario can help to clear the gap}
Mario: Ah, I see what you're going for!
{Mario jumps off Yoshi and walks towards the left, waving at Yoshi}
Mario: I'll catch up with you. Ta-ta for now!
{Luigi sits on Yoshi. Yoshi is smiling}
Luigi: Well Yoshi, I'll be your best pal today.
{Yoshi, with Luigi riding on him, jumps the gap to cross it}
Luigi: Let's-a do this!
{Luigi bungles the jump, causing him to be unable to clear the gap}
Luigi: Oops.
{Luigi jumps off Yoshi to a safe spot, dumping him in a pit to get a second jump so that he can clear the gap. Yoshi is shocked at the betrayal}
Luigi: No hard feelings, pal.
{Luigi looks down the pit while standing there, with a bit of sweat}
Mario: 'ey, Luigi!
{Luigi gets anxious upon hearing Mario from above}
{Mario glides down while wearing a cape, indicating that he used the Cape Feather to help him cover the gap}
Mario: Have you seen Yoshi?
{Luigi sweats and looks worriedly to the side as to show that he was thinking of the pit when looking at Mario}
Mario: Wasn't he with you earlier?
{Luigi rushes away past Mario out of guilt, perplexing Mario}
Luigi: No. Nothing happened!
{Yoshi is still falling down, causing him to become bored. Occasionally, he yawns in boredom.}
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Mario Story
Spongebob Story
Sonic Story
Extra Story: Mario and Sonic Crossover Story
Mushroom Kingdom Comics!
Hello, 'Shroom readers! Hint Toad, here, with a brand new comic! Enjoy!
Panel 1
[Toadsworth is teaching a class.]
TOADSWORTH: Now, I want you to think hard on this one... If the castle were to be taken over by bowser, what should you do?
Panel 2
[Princess Peach, sitting at one of the desks, raises her hand.]
Panel 3
TOADSWORTH: Yes, princess?
Panel 4
PRINCESS PEACH: Bake a cake and invite Mario over!
[Toadsworth does not look pleased with that answer.]
Shmaluigi, Private Investigator
Written by: Waluigi Time (talk) and Boo1268
Unlucky Streak: Part 2
A horrible string of luck, and now, the potential return of one of my old foes - absolutely wonderful timing on that. Throwing out that chain letter was ranking pretty high in my top five all-time regrets right about now, but what's done is done. Whoever may have been behind the heist at the museum, I had a strong feeling that this wasn't going to be the last we'd hear of them, and I couldn't be caught in suboptimal condition.
I would soon be proven correct, as it wasn't long at all before our perpetrator struck again - this time, a break-in at the Kraff T. Textile Factory that same night. A bit of an unexpected shift from someone who just pulled off a museum heist for a valuable fossil collection, but Chief Palmer told me they'd found another one of the same calling cards, so that's about as clear as you can get. I certainly appreciated the chief being willing to keep me in the loop on things, as I was fully aware he would've been well within his rights to stay out of his investigation. It sure is nice to have some friends in high places.
Whoever was responsible, they were already gone by the time the NWPD arrived - and I was lagging behind even further. That's just the way it goes sometimes, especially this early in an ongoing crime spree. I entered the building through what looked like a storeroom, which was a total disaster area. Several metal shelves had come apart, dumping their contents onto the floor. All sorts of boxes of the sorts of supplies you'd expect from a factory producing textiles, some of them spilled open to add to the mess. Judging by the angle of the shelving units and the current location of everything scattered about the floor, I deduced that they'd been moved at some point since the incident. If they fell the way I suspected, they would've been blocking that door...
"What are we looking at this time, chief? Besides crimes against neatness, anyway."
"Well, we're not exactly sure. The security guard called us for a break-in, and when we got here, those shelves had collapsed and completely blocked the door to the security office. We had to clear the debris to let the poor guy out," the chief explained, motioning over to a Goomba with a graying bushy mustache and security guard's cap. "He's doing a check over the place now. We're not sure what else they did. Same calling card as the museum, though."
"Dagnabbit! They made off with a box of our specialty gold thread!" I turned around to see the guard examining a conspicuously empty spot on a shelf. "The boss isn't going to be happy about this..."
"Gold thread?" I asked.
"Yeah. It's high-quality stuff, real gold, no spraypaint or tinfoil or anything. They use it in the gold clothes you see at Crazy Cap and stuff like that." Yikes. Those sold for quite a bit, so I figured even the thread on its own could fetch some serious coin. Then again, Crazy Cap charges even more for a tropical shirt or novelty axe hat, so maybe their exorbitant prices weren't exactly the best measure of actual value. Still, this crime suddenly made a lot more sense in context.
"Mind if I ask you what exactly happened here?"
"Sure. I was just watching the screens as usual when I saw some intruders in the factory. I was about to go investigate when I heard a loud crash right outside my office, and I found that whole mess dumped in front of my door. No way I was getting past all that in time, especially at my age, so that's when I called the cops."
"Screens? So can you describe the intruders, or is there security footage we can see?"
"I'm afraid there's not much I can do for you there. Those screens are grainy as all get out, and the cameras don't record anything. Best description I could give is some blobs," he said, pausing for a moment as his eyes shifted around, then continued in a hushed tone of voice. "Between you and me, this place was retrofitted with the bare minimum to comply with safety regulations back in the day. Can't say I'm surprised they skimped on the security systems too."
"Well, that's inconvenient."
"One odd thing, though... I didn't see 'em anywhere near my office on the monitors, and didn't hear anything out there either until the whole commotion. Those shelves must've come apart entirely on their own, some ticking time bomb of bad assembly or manufacturing or whatever that went off at the worst time imaginable."
Potentially another freak accident? I decided to have a closer look at them for myself. No sign of any physical damage, and these units were bolted together - or at least, supposed to be. Not something that could simply be the work of a stealthy lackey with a screwdriver, taking the time to disassemble one even partially was an oddly high-effort and time-consuming way to prevent the interference of a single security guard. Could it really have been possible that these were an accident waiting to happen, and it just happened at the worst time in the worst way possible for getting away with a break-in to be a walk in the park? Normally, I'd say no, if not for the events of the past week.
There's giving a guy a complex, and then there's whatever this is. Between the fossil crash at the museum, and now these disintegrating shelves, I was obviously some terrible hex on this case. I never should've gotten involved - maybe I should even just get out of town. No... I was in too deep now. I had to figure out a way to fix this.
It was clear that I'd have to figure out how to rid myself of this curse if I wanted to crack the case - even if it wasn't technically my case. The most logical way to do that seemed to me to work on turning things around in the other direction, so I went home and stayed up too late doing some research on the best ways to boost one's luck. Mostly just superstitions - not that I could dismiss it out of hand for that reason alone anymore - but I wanted something that felt a little more concrete. Then it came to me, badges! I have no idea how those things actually work, but if Ms. Mowz is able to make a living off of selling them, they must be pretty good, right? I wasn't about to make a trip out to Rogueport to buy them from her though, especially with my current penchant for attracting misfortune. Thankfully, there was a badge shop right here in New Wikisburg I could turn to, so I dropped by in the morning and cleaned out their whole stock of Pretty Lucky and Lucky Day badges, pinning them wherever there was free space on my trenchcoat.
Jasmine didn't seem too sure about the new look when I got home. "Can I make an... observation?" she asked, her hand placed over her mouth in contemplation.
"Sure."
"I don't think those badges are doing much for the noir detective look you've got going there."
To be fair, she was certainly correct on that. I resembled something akin to a car plastered with too many bumper stickers right now, but it was better than the alternative. After all, I wasn't trying to win any fashion contests here, I just didn't want to be the world's biggest jinx. "Desperate times call for desperate measures, honey."
"Well, I suppose."
"Now then, it's time to get to work for Shmaluigi, lucky private investigator."
Expecting the rogues to strike again, I decided to go out for a late-night drive around the city, hoping for a lucky break. It would be a good test run of these badges, anyway. After about half an hour, my police scanner picked up a call for a suspected break-in at a used car lot. I wasn't sure if this was connected to the other crimes yet, but I happened to be very close by - finally, things were potentially turning around. It was long overdue by my account.
I pulled up to the car lot and parked on the side of the street, and right away I could see why this got called in. Normally, chain-link gates aren't pried open in the middle of the night. I got out of my car and cautiously walked through, discovering that the perpetrators were still here. I couldn't make out what they looked like or hear their conversation until I got closer, and discovered that my hunch from earlier was in fact correct - it was none other than the Terrakingpin, accompanied by a dapper-looking Koopeleon, and the two of them were examining an old, somewhat beat-up Koopa Clown Car.
"Now here's a ride fit for a real kingpin like myself, gwahaha! Once I customize this baby I'll be able to ride in style," Terrakingpin said, his face beaming with a toothy grin. "Not that I would have minded getting my claws on one of those muscle cars either..."
The Koopeleon stepped forward, his golden shell glistening beneath the light of a wooden lamp post that illuminated his green suit and clover-adorned top hat. "What'd I tell ya, Terra me lad? We's not only found you's a spiffy new ride, but look 'ere! The dang thing's half fueled, plus I bet that the bloke who left this 'ere left them keys in the cuppa holder. Jerry, check and see, lad!" He then reached into his pocket and pulled out a Mini Spek, which hopped into the car and rummaged around a bit before jumping into Terrakingpin's hand with a set of keys.
"Well, isn't that lucky, gwahaha!" Terrakingpin said, taking the keys from the little contraption and jingling them around.
Now was the time to make my move - preferably before they flew off in that Clown Car. "Stop it right there, you two!"
Terrakingpin turned around to face me, and rather than a look of annoyance or anger I might've expected from someone getting their plans interrupted, he looked way too confident and smug. "Well, well, well, look who finally showed up. About time you caught up with me, detective! Had a feeling you'd come sniffing around after that little museum heist of ours."
"'Ey govna, is this the bloke you's been talking bout? The one who's been scupperin' up ye plans?" the Koopeleon asked, looking up at his boss.
"That's him, alright," Terrakingpin replied, the memories apparently being enough to put a hint of a sour look on his mustachioed face, even if our present encounter wasn't.
Knowing definitively who was behind this, the gold threads made sense as a vanity project, but I wasn't sure what he wanted with the Ingot Isle collection. "What do you want with a bunch of old fossils, anyway?"
"Eh? Nothing! I'll probably just pawn those off at one of those underground auctions sometime. But it made a real splash, didn't it? Now that I'm back in business, I had to make a big entrance!"
"Well, I'm afraid your business is about to be cut short. I'm taking you both in," I said. Terrakingpin may have been bulky, rather spiky, and adorned in all the trappings of a stereotypical mafia boss, but I knew from past experience he wasn't nearly as competent as he may have looked.
"GWAHAHAHAHA! Oh, that's a good one. This isn't going to be like those times before, detective! This city's got a power vacuum - thanks for that, by the way - and thanks to my new associate here, I'm going straight to the top!" Terrakingpin said, with a bombastic upward point of his finger for emphasis. "Now, Lucky, if you'd be so kind as to keep our friend occupied while I get behind the controls here? I've, uh, I've never driven one of these Clown Cars before."
"Way ahead of ya, govna!" Lucky said, happily spinning his horseshoe-tipped cane. "C'mere ta me, lads! Take this bloke down for me an ol' Terra, eh? There be a high reward in it for ye."
Right on command, a Longator and Octoguy slinked out from behind a Koopa Troopa car that had seen better days. That was certainly an odd pair. "Alright you two, let's dance," I said.
Both of them started taking swings at me, yet not a single hit actually connected. Not long ago I would've expected to get knocked straight into an embarrassing combo attack, but now? Well, those badges must've been putting in some heavy work. They weren't the real threat here though, so I resolved to deal with them quickly and managed to take out the Longator with a single punch, following up with a kick right in the center of the Octoguy's face that knocked them down for the count.
...Okay, that didn't seem to be badge-influenced. These guys evidently were far from being the cream of the crop.
"Ugh, what a bunch of chumps," Terrakingpin grumbled as he continued to mess with the controls. A boxing glove popped out and came within mere inches of taking out his Koopeleon companion. "Whoops, that's the glove. Lucky, take care of this guy already."
"Will do, govna," Lucky replied, turning his attention back towards me as he cleared his throat. "Well Shmaluigi me lad, seems as if you've taken down me mooks I hired, so since we be beckonin' ta fight, allow me ta properly introduce meself. The name's Larco Links Clover, but most blokes just call me Lucky. Now come at me lad, give me ye best shot."
Now, normally I'm not much for fighting, but these badges had me feeling a lot more confident - I wasn't about to break out the shapeshifting to deal with a single Koopa, anyway. I ran towards the guy, ready to force him into his shell so I could move on to dealing with Terrakingpin himself.
"'Ey look, a coin!" Just before my foot made contact, Lucky bent down to pick up a stray coin he had noticed on the ground, and my attack missed completely. Alright, a lucky dodge... I tried following up with a knee jab, only for him to duck out of the way with seemingly no effort whatsoever. Seriously, which one of us is the one packing a ton of badges here? Just after I whiffed my attack, Lucky got me good with a smack of his cane right into my jaw, that horseshoe making it a particularly nasty blow. As I reeled in pain, I got tripped up by his tail and fell flat onto the ground.
"Ehehe, this just ain't ya day, ain't it lad?"
"I see you fight dirty, why am I not surprised..." I groaned, pulling myself off the ground for round two. How I'd accomplish that, I wasn't exactly sure - this guy was somehow brute forcing my entire stock of badges like they didn't even exist, and I couldn't land a hit on him to save my life.
"Yer startin' ta bore me, lad. Allow me ta finish this 'ere fight, 'cause ol' Terra's 'bout ta start the car - if he's lucky enough, that is." Lucky then pulled out a large golden handgun-like device, his small stature only exaggerating its size and making it look like a miniature cannon. As he pointed it straight at me, I instinctively ducked and the shot blew right over my head.
"It's about time you missed..."
"What makes ya think I did, lad?"
"Huh? What do you-"
At that moment, the same golden projectile re-entered my field of vision headed straight for me, apparently having ricocheted around the lot. I had no time to react to the impact and my badges certainly weren't any help, and I was slammed right into the chain-link fence and fell to the ground, a flurry of badges scattering to the wind. There's something to be said for that marksmanship, I suppose...
"Tsk tsk tsk, Shmaluigi me lad. Ye should have figured this would happen, 'ey? Ye can't take down the luckiest bein' in the world with some poor imitation rubbish, lad. I be the real deal. But I suppose that ye won't be needin' these anymore. Jerry, collect them badges, might be worth a fair 'mount," Lucky said, making his way back to the Clown Car. I was far too weak to stop the Mini Spek as it scurried around, gathering up all the loose badges, then hopped back into Lucky's pocket after it finished the job.
As I struggled to pull myself off the concrete, the Clown Car's engine roared to life as Terrakingpin and Lucky took to the skies. The big boss took the opportunity to throw one more calling card into the wind as a mocking gesture, which hit me square in the face as if to add further insult to injury. "See you around, Shmaluigi! Be sure to tell everyone that the Terrakingpin's back in business, baby! Gwahahahaha!"
Unfortunately, the officers showed up too late to stop Terrakingpin and Lucky's escape, but they were able to bring in the still KO'ed Longator and Octoguy, at least. I went back with them to regroup and recuperate from the fight, and was taken to the chief's office - he'd want to hear about this.
"Here's your coffee, Shmaluigi," Deputy Shell said, handing me a styrofoam cup filled with coffee from the chief's personal supply. It was noticeably higher quality than the stuff I remember from the HQ break room.
"Thanks, deputy. So, my hunch was right, it's Terrakingpin behind this latest crime wave. He's working with a Koopeleon by the name of Larco Links Clover, or Lucky as they apparently call him. I can't say the name rings a bell, though."
"Yep, that's familiar," the chief replied, reaching into a cabinet and pulling out a plain case file. "We had Clover in custody before, but he escaped at the same time as Koopone. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised they're working together now, although it's a bit concerning... Let's just say his nickname is well-earned. He's a difficult one to pin down, and keep locked up once you do. Not to mention how much goes his way whenever he's not behind bars."
"Mind if I see that file?" I asked.
"Be my guest," he replied as he tossed it across the desk. As I reached forward to grab it I was struck with a pain in my back and immediate regret - it was definitely going to take a while to walk that fight off.
I skimmed over the file, finding that these escapees were a very eclectic bunch. Mostly low-level lackeys and petty criminals, right down to graffiti artists and serial jaywalkers. It wasn't all that impressive, and even if Terrakingpin was trying to scrape the bottom of the barrel to get his operation started up again, this was just... sad. I wasn't sure all of them would be in on the current state of things, but it couldn't hurt to check up on some other potential leads.
"Of the ten, we've only been able to bring Arie and Walker back in so far. Those two don't really specialize in subtlety," the chief added.
"Good old Bandwich," the Noki deputy added.
"I wonder if either of them know about Terrakingpin's current operation. There is a previous connection there, after all," I wondered.
The Pianta scratched his mustache in thought. "Tell you what. While our boys are interrogating the thugs from the car lot, I can get you permission to go talk to Arie, if you'd like. I don't think you're going to get anywhere with Walker, though. He seems to actively enjoy being a nuisance by not giving any information."
"I've dealt with my fair share of pests before. Where is he now?" I asked.
"Solitary," came the reply, very matter-of-factly.
"Huh... That's the first case I've heard of a jaywalker going into solitary confinement. What did he do?"
"Legally speaking, nothing. He's just so annoying that his cellmates kept trying to strangle him, and so did the other prisoners in general... So we eventually moved him for his own protection."
On second thought, if the Jibberjay was that bad, I doubted he'd be in Terrakingpin's inner circle for very long. "I think I'll just stick to Bandwich for now, then..."
It felt strange to need to be escorted to someone's jail cell instead of just handling all this myself, but I suppose that's what comes with not being on the force anymore. The chief may have been somewhat lax, but there were far more folks around here who did things strictly by the book. The Shy Guy officer had little to say on the walk over, and unlocked Bandwich's cell door for me without a word.
I stepped into the cell and almost immediately lost my footing, going into an unfortunate pratfall - great, even more pain, just what I needed. I started to pull myself back up and saw a splotch of jelly on the floor that had oozed out of a dropped sandwich.
"HA!" laughed the Bandit from his bunk. "Thought I lost a sandwich somewhere. Almost worth it seeing you wipe out like that, though."
"I've... come to ask you some questions," I said after standing back up. That really took the wind out of my entrance.
"I don't have to tell you anything, Slippy!"
"How about you answer my questions or I'll arrange for Mr. Walker to be assigned as your cellmate." I definitely didn't have the authority to do that at this point. He didn't need to know that, though.
His expression changed slightly from the sly defiance typical of Bandits to frustration. "Ugh... Didn't realize cruel and unusual punishment was your thing. Alright, whatever, just ask your questions and maybe I'll answer them."
"I want to know everything about your involvement with Terrakingpin, starting with your escape."
"Look, I'm not a squealer, alright? All I'll tell you is it wasn't my idea. Or his. It was an outside job, and I'd almost prefer it didn't happen for all the good it did me." Apparently, he wasn't self-aware enough to realize he really only had himself to blame for getting locked up again so easily, but then again he was never really the brightest bulb.
"An outside job, eh? I've seen the file from your escapades. Why would someone be interested in such a ragtag group?"
"It was just, like... a matter of opportunity. No rhyme or reason to it. They just wanted guys for a stupid gameshow, we were in the right place at the right time I guess." I could tell he knew that I wasn't buying his whole story - a gameshow, really? Of all the things I've heard... "Dude, I'm serious!"
"Alright, then we'll just go with that for now," I conceded. I was more concerned with the here and now. "So, what do you know about Terrakingpin's current plans?"
"Nothing. I haven't seen any of them since we left the woods after the show, except for that stupid bird! Man, it's been so much nicer in the prison yard since that guy got moved to solitary," Bandwich said before returning to the topic at hand. "Anyway, I guess the other guys are probably getting back to whatever they were doing before. Me, I'm content just being the guy with sticky fingers. Why complicate things more than that?"
I didn't believe his entire story as it seemed a little too farfetched for me, but I was willing to believe him about not having much to do with Terrakingpin in the time up to now, at least. Unfortunately, that meant I wasn't getting anywhere with this visit. Hopefully the interrogation of the minions from the car lot proved more fruitful. After I left the jail, I called the chief on my way home, hoping for a good update.
"Chief Palmer here."
"Any luck with the interrogation, chief?" I asked - no pun intended. "I wasn't able to get anything useful from Bandwich."
"I'm afraid not, Shmaluigi. Turns out they're just common street thugs that Clover hired just before the break-in. Both of them have some miscellaneous priors, but nothing that would indicate any involvement with organized crime up until now. As it turns out, he's got a good track record on finding people in the right place at the right time who are willing to do his dirty work - relatively on the cheap, too." Well, that explained why they were so easy to dispatch - they had no real experience in the mafia game. "So they really don't have any idea about the details of Koopone's current operation or what he's going to be doing next."
"Well... Rats."
"I'll let you know if anything else comes up. I've got to get back to work now."
"Alright. Thanks for the information."
"Don't mention it."
With how much of a fool Lucky made out of me last night, I realized that the only way I was going to have any hope of putting him and Terrakingpin back behind bars was to find a more permanent solution for my bad luck woes. Admittedly, his involvement was a small comfort - I could at least plausibly attribute the freak accidents at the museum and factory to him instead of blaming myself, but that didn't explain everything else that had been going on. Even if I could solve this predicament, I feared coming out on top would still be a tall order, but at least I'd have more of a fighting chance if my fortunes were back at baseline levels. And I had an idea of who could do that - Mertle the Shaman, who had been instrumental before in dealing with a jam that was much more than any of this.
I ducked into her little establishment, greeted by the dark blue curtains and glittery silver stars hanging from the ceiling that seemed to frame up the old Shaman in the center, sitting behind a table containing nothing but a crystal ball that reflected the mood lighting. She looked at me as if she was expecting my arrival, or maybe that's just what naturally happens when she's sitting facing the front door all day.
"Ah, I see we meet again, child. I thought I would be seeing you soon. Please, have a seat," she said, gesturing across the table. "What brings you to the Magnificent Mertle the All-Seeing today?" With a self-proclaimed title like that, I figured she should already know. Then again, if she really was all-seeing then people like me would be out of a job.
I sat down across from her as I was directed before explaining my dilemma. "I'm pretty sure I've been stuck with some kind of bad luck curse. It seems like the sort of thing you'd be able to help with."
"Hmm... Odd. I sensed no miasma about you when you came through the door. Allow me to take a closer look, then." She leaned forward with a squint in her eyes, positioning her hands around me as if she were a cameraman. "Mhm, I see... By my account, you are... completely fine."
"What? How can that be possible? I threw away a chain letter, and I've been having rotten luck ever since. There's got to be something to that."
"A chain letter, you say? Yes, I see now..." She closed her eyes in thought, and seemed to smile knowingly. "Child, I have lived for a long time. I have seen many varieties of curses, hexes, and what-have-you. Yet one of the strongest is the curse we cast on ourselves by our own minds."
"Are you trying to tell me this is all in my head? My water heater broke, the café I go to had to close for repairs, I got food poisoning... It's not like I'm imagining this."
"Tell me, do you mean to say you have never experienced misfortunes before?"
"Well, no, of course not. But-"
"Some individuals are blessed with what would be considered naturally good luck, and events appear to consistently unfold in their favor. Others are afflicted by the inverse. But such are few and far between. Most of us fall somewhere in the middle. The universe's pendulum swings back and forth, even if it may seem to stall heavily on one end or the other at times. Such is to be expected as the way of life. It is merely your perception that has changed. If your mind is focused on misfortune, even the smallest inconveniences may seem out of proportion."
It wasn't really the answer I wanted, but I suppose she was the expert on the subject and I was just a paranoid guy who was totally skeptical about this whole thing not even two whole weeks ago. Maybe these really were just the breaks at the moment and there was nothing to overcome besides my own expectations.
"I'm afraid I can do nothing more for you. Only you hold the key to the shackles which you have placed on yourself, child."
If getting over this bad luck business really was mind over matter, I had to actively commit to shifting that mindset. Following recent events, it was a tall order, and all I had to go on was Mertle's word, but what else was I going to do? Keep playing the victim and letting myself get clobbered by life? I couldn't afford to do that.
Without any break in the case, the crimes continued. Terrakingpin was annoyingly unpredictable, caring more about attention and improving his own quality of life than anything else. What would he do next? Whatever he felt like at the time, and it wasn't like I could get in the guy's head to figure out what that was. And it seemed that thanks to having Lucky at his disposal, he was actually managing to pull everything off this time around. Unless Terrakingpin suddenly got hyper-competent behind bars, I assumed that Koopeleon was a massive crutch.
Then, things got weird. Terrakingpin's calling cards stopped appearing altogether, but some element of luck remained in the crimes that pointed straight to Lucky's involvement - a freak accident that let the perpetrators get away with it, or taking advantage of an extremely narrow window of opportunity to pull off the caper, that sort of thing. What's more, they seemed to become much more... intentional. I couldn't put my finger on the final goal, but it was as if the heists were starting to build up to something. For pete's sake, one of them involved illegally accessing shipping records and nothing else. Something like that was a far cry from just trying to make the news or get a fancy golden suit.
It all came to a head when I returned to my office and saw none other than Terrakingpin himself - not in an "I'm here to beat you to a pulp" way, he was sitting in a chair I had reserved for clients that was clearly far too small for a Koopa of his size, and sporting an expression that instantly communicated he was very embarrassed to be here at all.
"Detective, I, um... Ugh. I... need your help."
To be continued...
Hi, it's me, end-of-story WT again! I don't have much to say besides thanks again to Boo1268 for helping to develop this story, and providing Lucky's dialogue as well. We'll see you next time!
Diddy Kong Country
Written by: ClawgripFan9001
Part 5
Picking up where the last part left off, Diddy Kong and his family had made their way to the fourth level of the final destination of their adventure; Interior Superior. As the name of the level suggested, it took place inside the interior of Kastle K. Rool, with a bunch of high-ranking Kremling infantry roaming around, such as Kremploders, Krocketeers, Mecha-Klaptraps, as well as Kremling enemies exclusive to this level named Kulinairs, which were essentially Kritters dressed up in chef’s hats and matching jackets, while being armed with large whisks that they used as clubs to thwack the Kongs with. Aside from this, the Kongs also had to traverse a handful of platforms that moved up and down in a similar vein to the ones featured in the Castle Battle against Larry Koopa in New Super Mario Bros Wii. There were also a bunch of kitchen islands present throughout the castle interior, with boiling cooking pots that would occasionally launch the lids on top of them into the air, releasing a bunch of incredibly hot steam that would sear the Kongs if they came in contact with it. “K. Rool really is throwing everything he’s got left at us here! He’s now sending his entire brigade of chefs after us!” Diddy Kong remarked with a determined scowl resting on his face as he and the other Kongs clobbered the Kremlings that stood in their way.
“They say desperate times call for desperate measures. K. Rool knows that saying like no other, so he’s likely already planning his last ditch effort as we’re closing in on him while we speak.” Jockey Kong chimed in with an equally determined scowl resting on his face while bashing the last lines of defense the Kremling King was dispatching against him and the younger Kong trio in the face. Soon, the Kongs began to bound their way across the kitchen islands decked out over the interior of the castle. “Well, no matter what last ditch effort he’s got up his nonexistent sleeves, it’s nothing we can’t handle! We’ve come this far, and we’re not missing out on the victory we’ve been yearning for all this time!” Jockey then triumphantly declared, with Diddy, Dixie and Tiny letting out equally sounding triumphant monkey shrieks in response.
“You said it, granddad! If K. Rool wants to keep Diddy’s mom from him like we assume to be doing, then he’s got another thing coming! We’ll be prying her from his dead crocodile hands if we have to!” Dixie chimed in with an air of bravery surrounding her like no other, with an equally brave expression radiating from his face to match. She then began to launch chunks of bubblegum from her Bubblegum Blowguns into the maws of her reptilian assailants, stunning them and allowing her to knock them out with a nasty roundhouse kick in a subsequent manner. The Kongs then began to traverse the moving platforms that acted as the last obstacles before the Kongs reached the end of the level, where they were greeted by King K. Rool’s head chef, Wolfgang Kroc, who acted as the level boss that the Kongs had to face in order to move on to the next level.
Wolfgang Kroc’s methods of attack included summoning food items such as tomatoes, lettuce, chestnuts and carrots using telekinetic means before sending them flying towards the Kongs, using his giant whisk as a club to slug the Kongs, and using a double-barreled shotgun shaped like a pepper mill to fire off bursts of pepper at the Kongs. In order to damage Wolfgang Kroc, the Kongs had to jump on top of the raw scallops that the Kremling head chef sent after them, and throw them back at Wolfgang Kroc as projectiles. Upon repeating this process for a total of nine times, the Kongs managed to put the feisty hash slinger out of combat, as he was knocked out cold, with stars twirling around his head. In the process, he surrendered the Primate Print Piece he was protecting for his Kremling King, which Diddy and his family promptly picked up before moving on to the fifth and final regular level of Kastle K. Rool; Inner Sanctum Invasion.
As the name of the level suggested, it took place inside Kastle K. Rool’s inner sanctum, the center of King K. Rool’s castle, where his personal chamber was situated. The last lines of King K. Rool’s Kremling infantry were present here, consisting of Kremploders, Krocketeers, Kandlelighters, which were exclusive enemies in the level and were essentially Kritters dressed in fancy butler attire, armed with lit candleholders that they used to shoot small bursts of fire at the Kongs to try and harm them. The level also featured a system similar to the Castles featured in World 4-4 and World 7-4 of Super Mario Bros, World 3-4 and World 6-4 in Super Mario Bros: The Lost Levels, and World 2-Castle in New Super Mario Bros Wii, where the Kongs had to traverse the corridors in the correct order, otherwise the area would just repeat in an endless loop. “Oh no, not these stinking corridors! Okay, Diddy, muscle memory is everything…” The male spidermonkey told himself after expressing his dismay over the cryptic corridor mechanic he and his family were up against.
“I dunno how Mario and his Mushroom Kingdom friends dealt with this stuff back in the day, but if we should come up against more of these types of situations on any of our future adventures, they should share their secrets on overcoming them with us so we’ll come prepared next time around.” Dixie chimed in as the Kongs began to make their way through the corridors in what they believed to be the correct order, which they were proven to be right about as they managed to successfully reach the other side of the secret maze before heading through the set of doors waiting for them there, after which they ended up in K. Rool’s personal chamber. Much to their surprise, however, they were instead greeted with the sight of Captain Syrup, the human pirate queen who regularly rivaled Wario in terms of thievery, sitting on King K. Rool’s throne while wearing a formal sailor attire akin to the one Blackbeard Koopa wore on the Super Mario Brothers Super Show.
“What the?! Who the heck are you?!” Diddy Kong asked Captain Syrup in a surprised and confused tone of voice, with a curiously raised eyebrow to emphasize this. Syrup hummed inquisitively in response as she was filing her nails with an unbothered look resting on her face before looking up towards the Kongs to address them properly.
“Syrup. Captain Syrup. Scourge of the Seven Seas of the Mushroom World and Queen of Thievery, at your service.” Captain Syrup introduced herself to the Kongs with a sassy smirk curling onto her lips, finding amusement in mocking the baffled primates with their total incomprehension of the situation while continuing to file her nails the whole time.
“Where is King K. Rool?!” Dixie Kong asked Captain Syrup upon overcoming her initial confusion, her demeanor shifting into some more akin to irksomeness to fit her frustration with not finding King K. Rool like she hoped to. Captain Syrup let out a mischievous giggle in response, glancing up at the older Kong Sister with a matching mischievous smirk.
“Not here, honey. If you want to find that pot-bellied crocodile, you’ll have to get through me first.” Captain Syrup snarked as she tossed her nail file away before standing up from King K. Rool’s throne and drawing a golden colored rapier with a bronze-colored emblem of the Black Sugar Gang embedded at the handle. “Let’s do this.” Captain Syrup then grinned in a cunning manner before engaging the Kongs in battle. During the battle, Captain Syrup dashed at the Kongs with her rapier pointed towards them in an attempt to skewer her opponents with it. The Kongs had to jump over her to evade this attack and then roll into her backside or perform a cartwheel attack while her backside was exposed to damage her, after which Captain Syrup would be knocked over forward on the ground with a pained yelp before leaping back up to her feet and summoning a pair of Rocket Boots that she had crafted at some point prior to her fight with the Kongs, then began using the Rocket Boots to skate along the walls and ceiling of K. Rool’s personal chambers in an attempt to ram the Kongs, though they managed to run evasive maneuvers to avoid this from happening easily enough. Captain Syrup then backflipped her way back onto King K. Rool’s throne before pulling out a golden-colored conch shell and blowing into it, after which multiple chandeliers began dropping from the ceiling in an attempt to crush the Kongs underneath, while Captain Syrup cackled in wicked amusement as this happened.
“Hee, hee, hee, hee! You wouldn’t dare to lay a finger on little old me!” Captain Syrup chortled while rhyming and clapping her hands as she reveled in her wickedness. As soon as the chandeliers stopped falling from the ceiling, Captain Syrup leapt back out of King K. Rool’s throne and repeated her attack pattern, with the Kongs subsequently repeating theirs. As soon as Captain Syrup left her backside open, the Kongs proceeded to strike her in it, once again knocking her over forward on the ground with a disdained cry. She then broke out her Rocket Boots once more as she once again attempted to wipe the Kongs off their feet by running them over as she skated along the walls and ceiling a second time. “Why, you…!” Captain Syrup irritably grumbled as she dashed through the room while the Kongs leapt out of the way of her attack, after which the pirate queen once again hopped back onto K. Rool’s throne and tooting her golden conch shell in a subsequent fashion, before resuming her devilish delight as chandeliers once again started raining down from the ceiling while the Kongs began moving back and forth to avert this.
“Har, har, har, har! When it comes to being Video Game Heroes, the bunch of you really lower the bar!” Captain Syrup mocked the Kongs through her rhymes once more, though the protagonistic primate posse weren’t going to let themselves be discouraged by this. Captain Syrup then dove back out of the Kremling King’s throne as she once again repeated her attack pattern, with the Kongs having gotten better at evading it from studying it in action. They then mowed down Captain Syrup a third time as she was hunched back down onto her hands and knees from their attacks, the cunning commander of the Black Sugar Gang shouting in convulsion from doing so. She then called for her Rocket Boots iteratively before gliding over the surfaces of the corners of the room in an ensuing fashion while the Kongs dodged her assault. “How come you flea-bitten furbrains haven’t gotten the boot yet?!” Captain Syrup asked the Kongs as the latter continued to dodge the former’s attacks.
She then plunged herself back onto K. Rool’s throne before breaking out another conch shell, though this one was colored a vibrant purple instead, and as she blared into it, a stream of Wanderin’ Gooms and Pirate Gooms began to rush through the room in an attempt to overpower the Kongs, though they managed to prevent this by leaping up and running over the Black Sugar Gang’s ground troops’ heads. “Black Sugar Gang…SINGE!” Captain Syrup ordered her men as she continued to cackle and applaud her own evil genius. As the stream of Wanderin’ Gooms and Pirate Gooms came to an end, Captain Syrup got back onto her feet and resumed her attacks anew, with the Kongs once again having little issue with evading this. After being knocked over by the Kongs a fourth time, attempting to ram them with her Rocket Boots and failing to do this yet again, Captain Syrup once again leapt back onto K. Rool’s throne before radiating another summoning cry from her purple colored conch shell, after which another stream of Wanderin’ Gooms and Pirate Gooms came out and tried to overrun the Kongs, only for them to start running over their heads again. “Get them, my pretties!” Captain Syrup ordered her troops while she continued to bask in her own glory. As soon as the Black Sugar Gang’s ground troops had ceased their rampage once more, Captain Syrup jumped back to her feet once more, ready to try and take the Kongs out, only for them to land the defeating blow on her instead, causing her to relinquish the Primate Print Piece she was holding onto, which the Kongs quickly picked up.
“Ugh! Jumping Jewels! I’ve had it up to here with you overgrown fur coats making a mess of me! That psychotic pudgy oaf better hold up his end of our bargain and pay me out handsomely for buying him time to escape by keeping the bunch of you occupied!” Captain Syrup revealed to the Kongs she was just stalling their progress, her patience having run thin from the primates laying a pounding on her. The Kongs were shocked to hear that she was in cahoots with King K. Rool, but before they could question her about it, they heard the Kremling King let out a wicked laughter.
“Don’t worry, Syrup! You will indeed be paid out handsomely for your assistance in keeping those past their primates busy! For now, though, I must take my leave from here! So long, Diddy Kong and Kong-pany! Muahahaha!" King K. Rool chortled evilly as the sound of an airship’s engine began roaring. The Kongs furrowed their brows in anger as they began to make a dash for the rooftop of Kastle K. Rool, leaving Captain Syrup behind in doing so. They were going to punish the human pirate queen at one point in the future, but for the time being, they had a reckoning with the crocodilian criminal to settle.
Reaching the rooftop of the castle in the nick of time, the Kongs saw King K. Rool as he began to fly away in his latest aerial vessel, The Flying Krock Mk II. “We’re not gonna let you get away, K. Rool!” Diddy Kong angrily shouted as he and his family ran up to The Flying Krock Mk II as it started to lift off the ground and go airborne, the Kongs grabbing onto the quadcopter’s landing gear before it got out of reach. Our heroes then began to prepare themselves for the final showdown with King K. Rool as they slowly but surely managed to climb their way aboard The Flying Krock Mk II, entering the first and only regular level of this final world; Krocfight Kaos. It involved the Kongs having to make their way up the hallways of the flying battleship while taking out the Korsairs, Kremploders and Krocketeers that tried to stop them along the way. “This is for taking my mother from me!” Diddy Kong angrily shouted once more as he clobbered the last of the Kremlings that stood in the way of facing the Kremling King. Dixie, Tiny and Jockey assisted him in doing so as best as they possibly could, and upon reaching the end of the level, were confronted by King K. Rool’s mechanical bodyguard, Mecha-Kasplat. “Out of our way, you chicken-beaked bucket of bolts!” Diddy Kong snarked at the Mecha-Kasplat with a rather aggravated expression.
“Negative. King K. Rool ordered me to keep you away from him at all costs. Protection protocol engaged. Prime directive: Destroy Kongs!” Mecha-Kasplat informed the Kongs before it attacked the Kongs by shooting red-hued laser beams from its eyes in an attempt to fry them, though the heroes began to run evasive maneuvers. “Didrick, Desiree, Tamara, Donkey Junior, prepare for death! Operation: Endgame!” Mecha-Kasplat informed the Kongs while referring to them by their full names as he continued to shoot laser beams from his eyes towards them. The Kongs still ran evasive maneuvers though, awaiting the opportunity for the droid to let his guard down so they could strike him.
“K. Rool really went out of his way to get this rattling rustbucket to know everything about us, down to our given names, didn’t he?” Diddy remarked to his family, who hummed their agreement with this sentiment before noticing that Mecha-Kasplat’s laser vision got jammed, after which the droid attempted to fix it on the spot, thus giving the Kongs the opportunity to strike him. “See? This is why monkey beats machine any day of the week; We don’t have to worry about our organic systems jamming up! At least, not in the same way as your mechanical ones!” Diddy giggled as he taunted Mecha-Kasplat, who began to enter tilt mode after that swift blow to his copper cranium, running around the battle arena aimlessly while erratically firing lime green colored laser beams all over the place.
“I doubt he can hear you, Diddy. He’s a little overridden with information.” Dixie giggled too as she pointed out her boyfriend’s jokes falling on deaf ears to Mecha-Kasplat while the automaton was in this tilt mode. Not too long afterward, though, he came back to his senses and resumed firing red colored laser beams at the Kongs, with the Kongs once again running evasive maneuvers to prevent themselves from being toasted.
“Prepare to get piledriven! Operation: Crocodile Wave!” Mecha-Kasplat informed the Kongs as he continued to launch laser beams at them, attempting to hit them, but to no avail. Soon enough, his laser vision locked up again, after which Diddy cartwheeled his way into Mecha-Kasplat’s mechanical hide. This caused the Kremling protection droid to go haywire once more, as he began to run back and forth uncontrollably whilst ejecting shafts of lime green hued lasers all over the place. “Unexpected combat situation courtesy of targets! Proceeding to combat mode level two!” Mecha-Kasplat then declared after regaining his bearings again, after which a pair of metal stalks emerged from his head, which in turn formed a pair of circular disks for ears on top, similar to the short stalks that supported the circular ears of the rambunctious Pokémon, Loudred. These circular disks acted as laser-powered gatling guns that rapidly fired bright orange laser bursts at the Kongs, in addition to the red colored lasers Mecha-Kasplat shot from his eyes, forcing the Kongs to calculate their dodgy moves more carefully if they wished to continue avoid being hit.
“Land’s sake! K. Rool has really improved his technology since the last time I squared off against his troops in ‘99!” Tiny Kong exclaimed in disdainment-ridden awe as she continued to put her acrobatic skills to work against the rapid laser barrage of K. Rool’s mechanical bodyguard. “I suppose it’s only fair, though! I mean, if the Kong Family is coming out of videogame hero retirement in the 2020s era, we might as well retain the same compelling levels of difficulty folks have come to expect from our videogame ventures during the 1990s!” Tiny then added as she continued to somersault, flip, and duck her way through Mecha-Kasplat’s laser invasion. The other Kongs hummed their agreement with this statement while keeping their evasive sequence going.
Before long, both the laser vision and newly formed gatling guns on Mecha-Kasplat went bust, forcing the robotic hulk to try and repair them mid-fight yet again, leaving himself vulnerable to attacks while doing so. “Now’s our chance, grandchildren! Give that metal-plated marauder a swift blow to the crown!” Jockey Kong advised the younger Kong trio before the four of them subsequently dished out another bang upside the head on Mecha-Kasplat, who once again went berserk in response, violently darting back and forth, propelling searing hot colored beacons in all directions in the process. Unwinding again shortly afterward, Mecha-Kasplat carried on his assault against the Kongs by using his laser vision to launch red hued lasers at them, in combination with rapidly fired rounds of laser ammunition in a bright orange shade from the gatling guns mounted in the circular disks on his head. “Keep going, grandchildren! Once we’ve gotten this rust bucket taken care of, we can face King K. Rool himself!” Jockey Kong encouraged his grandchildren as the four of them continued to face off against Mecha-Kasplat.
“You got it, granddad! We’ve come this far to rescue my mom, and we’re not gonna back down from the fight now!” Diddy agreed with his grandfather’s words of encouragement as he averted K. Rool’s mechanical bodyguard’s laser flurries at the same time. The moment Mecha-Kasplat’s weaponry got stuck for the umpteenth time, Diddy executed another cartwheel attack to punt Mecha-Kasplat in his spiritless scalp. The reptilian robot went screwy for the umpteenth time afterward, erratically firing lasers all around him in an aimless fashion before snapping out of it, having sustained critical damage at the hands of the Kongs as smoke was starting to emit from him.
“Proceeding to combat mode level three! Commencing all-out attack now!” Mecha-Kasplat announced as he replaced the circular disks with built-in gatling guns on his head, alongside the short stalks that supported them, with a cannon mounted on top of his head, as well as summoning a pair of rapid-fire machine guns mounted on his shoulders, completing this transition into his third battle form by breaking out a pair of rocket boosters mounted on his back, allowing him to hover in the air. “Eliminate Kongs by all means necessary! Eject! Eject! Eject!!!” Mecha-Kasplat then boomed in an ornery tone of voice as he began to relentlessly attack the Kongs by launching tear gas grenades from his head-mounted cannon, bullets from his shoulder-mounted machine guns, and blood red laser beams from his eyes.
“Quivering kumquats! K. Rool really went out all guns blazing when he had this defensive droid constructed!” Diddy exclaimed in fright as he and his family members went on the defense themselves almost immediately as Mecha-Kasplat began raining his hellfire upon them. Dixie, Tiny and Jockey shrieked their agreement in response, panicked expressions on their faces to match their anxiety. Fortunately for the Kongs, even in this third level of combat mode, Mecha-Kasplat was plagued by faulty and unreliable weaponry, as it once again went bust mid-fight, forcing him to land and start repairing his weaponry, which yet again was his way of telling the Kongs: “Here, hit me.” As such, the Kongs quickly took the chance and bonked Mecha-Kasplat in the robotic ribcage, after which the automaton went on another rampage across the battledome, violently launching his weaponry all over the place before calming down again as he started dishing out a blaze of glory against the Kongs in a last-ditch effort to bring them down.
“Well, no half-baked Kremling contraption is gonna make a monkey out of us! We’ve almost got him scrapped, so let’s keep at it until we’ve accomplished that mission!” Dixie replied to Diddy’s earlier comments about K. Rool going above and beyond with his android guardian, to which Diddy hummed his agreement as the Kongs waited for the moment to land the final blow on Mecha-Kasplat, and as soon as the metallic menace left himself vulnerable due to being forced to halt his rampage for repairs, the Kongs went and delivered the defeating hit on Mecha-Kasplat, after which the protection droid began emitting white rays of light to signify his destruction. “See what I mean?” Dixie grinned in response to her earlier statement about having almost toppled Mecha-Kasplat as she and the Kongs high-fived each other at a victory well-earned.
“01000011 01110101 01110010 01110011 01100101 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00101100 00100000 01001011 01101111 01101110 01100111 01110011 00100001!” Mecha-Kasplat shouted at the Kongs as he exploded, which, when translated from binary code, meant: “Curse you, Kongs!” In the wake of his destruction, Mecha-Kasplat also left behind the final piece of the Primate Print, which the Kongs quickly grabbed before they went on to the boss level of The Flying Krock Mk II; The Final Krocfrontation.
Upon entering the final boss level, the Kongs were met with none other than King K. Rool himself. “Muahahaha! So, you really made it all the way here, did you? You really are a bunch of hardkore Kongs!” King K. Rool laughed in heartily malice, with the Kongs furrowing their brow at him in anger as Diddy, Dixie and Tiny each drew their firearms in response.
“Enough with the insanity-ridden tomfoolery, K. Rool! Where’s my mother?!” Diddy Kong furiously asked K. Rool as he pointed his Peanut Popguns at the Kremling King, having grown tired of the villainous reptile playing mind games with him and his family. King K. Rool merely laughed in the spidermonkey’s face, visibly not feeling threatened in the slightest from being held at gunpoint by him, his girlfriend and sister-in-law. “If you don’t quit laughing up a storm, you’re gonna die laughing!” Diddy then fiercely warned K. Rool, furrowing his brow even further to emphasize his point.
“Your mother ain’t here, Diddy. If you wanna find her, you’re gonna need to put that Primate Print you’ve been looking for all over the world together. After all, she’s a treasure, and you need a map and a shovel to find those.” King K. Rool informed Diddy as his crooked crocodile teeth curled into a malicious grin, angering Diddy even more than he already was, as the spidermonkey’s right eye began twitching in outrage while his body began quaking with equal outrage. “But you ain’t seeing your mother just yet, Diddy! We’re gonna be playing a little game first!” King K. Rool then chortled evilly before he engaged the Kongs in battle, pulling out a large-sized metallic army green-hued bazooka to use as a weapon against his opponents. For this first phase of the battle against the Kremling King, K. Rool used his bazooka to launch pale green dollops of poisonous sludge at the Kongs, which they had to evade if they wished to not get damaged by them. Occasionally, he would launch a hardened sludge cube out of his bazooka, which the Kongs had to pick up and throw back at K. Rool in order to damage him, then repeat this process two more times in order to initiate the second phase of the battle. Suddenly, a feminine voice rang over the speakers of The Flying Krock Mk II, a voice that was very familiar to both Diddy and Jockey Kong;
“You can do it, Didrick! You have my support!” The voice undoubtedly belonged to none other than Diddy’s mother, Jocie Kong herself, causing Diddy’s eyes to widen in shock and delight, as he realized that his grandfather wasn’t pulling his leg all this time about his mother still being alive, as well as his grandfather’s claims about things happening during the Puftup Gulf War that rendered both Jockey and Jocie unable to return home to the rest of the Kong Family. “Show that evil King K. Rool how a real Kong fights!” Jocie Kong’s voice echoed through the room once more, prompting Diddy’s lips to curl into a confident smile.
“Don’t worry, mom. I will, and wherever you are right now, I’ll make you proud, and we’ll be reunited soon enough.” Diddy informed his mother as he and the other Kongs resumed their fight against King K. Rool, who now began to use his red cape to glide in mid-air while firing purple-hued blobs of poisonous sludge at the Kongs with his bazooka, doing so nine times before shooting out a barrel that revealed a hardened purple sludge cube inside once the Kongs had broken it open, after which they picked up and hurled the cube back at K. Rool to inflict more damage upon him. Upon repeating this process another two times, the third and final phase of the fight against K. Rool was initiated.
“Ah, ha, ha, ha! I’d like to see you try to strike what you cannot SEE!” King K. Rool yukked up evilly before proceeding to turn invisible as he began to launch icy blue dollops of poisonous sludge at the Kongs that could freeze them if they happened to come in contact with them. A barrel then dropped down from the ceiling, which the Kongs proceeded to use against K. Rool to damage him, using the position of his shadow moving along the ground to calculate where the Kremling King was standing and aim the barrel accordingly. K. Rool then proceeded to fire red colored dollops of poisonous sludge that could slow the Kongs down if they touched them, after which another barrel dropped from the ceiling, which the Kongs once again used to damage K. Rool based on where his shadow was located. Finally, K. Rool proceeded to shoot pink dollops of poisonous sludge that could invert the Kongs’ movement if they were hit by them. Nevertheless, the Kongs pressed on until they finally managed to claim victory against the Kremling King, which they eventually did.
As the defeating blow was landed on K. Rool, his bazooka was knocked out of his hands and sent flying through the windshield of The Flying Krock Mk II, while the Kremling King himself went stumbling backwards and getting caught in a daze from the defeating blow. “Alright, K. Rool! It’s time to put this thing to bed and prove to the world I can be just as much of a videogame hero in my own right as that crazy ol’ uncle of mine! It’s on like Diddy Kong!” Diddy Kong grinned excitably as he ran up to King K. Rool and began giving him a beatdown akin to the ones the Kongs would dish out to the Tiki Leaders after a boss battle in Donkey Kong Country Returns, and to the Snowmad Leaders after a boss battle in Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze. As Diddy Kong landed his sendoff punch, King K. Rool too went flying out the windshield of The Flying Krock Mk II, roaring in agony as he was sent plummeting into the oceans down below, crash landing on the pirate ship of none other than Kaptain Skurvy, the recurring villain from the Donkey Kong Country television series.
Kaptain Skurvy and his Skurvy Krew were sailing their ship, the King Dan’s Revenge, across the oceans, minding their own business when K. Rool came crashing down onto the ship’s deck, much to the surprise of Kaptain Skurvy and his men, Kutlass and Green Kroc. Ordering Kutlass and Green Kroc to anchor the ship for the time being, Kaptain Skurvy went to inspect whatever just came falling out of the sky and onto their ship. Being joined by Kutlass and Green Kroc soon afterward, Kaptain Skurvy grinned menacingly after realizing it was K. Rool. Having come back to his senses after that fall, K. Rool was shocked to see Kaptain Skurvy and his men staring back at him. “Well, well, well…Look who came payin’ me a visit after nearly thirty years!” Kaptain Skurvy menacingly told K. Rool.
“Ye really thought ye went videogame Hollywood after ridin’ high in the 1990s and the 2000s, didn’t ye, K. Rool? Unfortunately fer ye, Nintendo shut the door on ye after the 2000s ended, only findin’ yerself at a comeback as a playable character in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate an’ a return ta videogame villainy in Donkey Kong Bananza!” Kutlass chimed in with his distinctive Italian accent radiating through.
“But now ye be back at the bottom of the DK Barrel, right here with us, Rool! An’ ye ain’t never leavin’ us now!” Green Kroc chimed in with his own distinctive French accent radiating through as K. Rool started shaking his head in a panicky manner before Kaptain Skurvy and his men proceeded to tie the Kremling King to one of the masts of the King Dan’s Revenge, stealing his cape and crown in the process, which Kaptain Skurvy wore for himself, after which the Skurvy Krew resumed their voyage across the oceans.
“Now let’s ‘ave ourselves a sea shanty sing-off ta celebrate our capture o’ the Kremling King ‘imself, mateys!” Kaptain Skurvy suggested to his crewmates while continuing to steer the King Dan’s Revenge, as Kutlass and Green Kroc danced around the mast that King K. Rool had been tied to, and the three Kremling Pirates began to sing sea shanties non-stop, much to K. Rool’s annoyance, as he screamed in frustration in the process.
Meanwhile, Diddy Kong and his family had managed to land The Flying Krock Mk II and abandoned it, and were now back on Jockey Kong’s motorcycle, having assembled the Primate Print that would lead them to the location where Diddy’s mother, Jocie Kong, had been held from the rest of the Kong Clan for all these years. As Jockey was riding the motorcycle, Diddy held the Primate Print in his hands, giving his grandfather directions with his mouth widened into a genuine smile. Before long, our heroes had arrived at the safehouse where King K. Rool had been keeping Jocie Kong prisoner all this time, and the heroes proceeded to get off Jockey Kong’s motorcycle, and Jockey proceeded to hand Diddy a rusted old key that unlocked the safehouse, which K. Rool had been keeping on him aboard The Flying Krock Mk II all along.
“I’m really, really proud of you, grandson. You vanquished that evil King K. Rool and unlocked the secrets of your long lost mother in the process. Now it’s time for you to finally be reunited with her. And remember this; Once you rise to videogame hero stardom outside your uncle Donkey’s shadow, your ol’ granddaddy Jockey was here for ya, helping ya get back on your feet. But enough chitchat for now. Go and see your mother.” Jockey told Diddy with a prideful smile, with Diddy smiling and nodding in response, his own eyes glistening with pride in doing so. He then turned towards the door of the safehouse, and unlocked it. Inside was none other than Jocie Kong, Diddy’s biological mother he had been separated from for so long. Jocie Kong was a female gorilla akin to Candy Kong as she appeared in the Donkey Kong Country television series, though with a raven shade to her hair, and her outfit consisted of a pink Rambo-styled headband tied around her forehead, a black Rambo-styled tank top, and night blue jeans.
Jocie’s mouth widened into an overjoyed smile as she proceeded to stand up from where she was sitting once she saw her long lost son enter the safehouse that had been her prison cell for years on end. She then quickly rushed over to Diddy and took him in her arms, lifting him off the ground as the two of them embraced each other, tears running down their cheeks as they couldn’t describe how happy they were to finally be reunited once more. Dixie, Tiny and Jockey stood there watching the reunion unfold, each with their mouths widened into joyful smiles and tears of joy running down their cheeks. After things calmed down again, Diddy proceeded to introduce his mother to his girlfriend, Dixie, and her sister, Tiny. Jocie immediately took a liking to the two Kong Sisters, and happily accepted them as her future daughters-in-law. Jockey then suggested starting the journey back home towards Diddy and Dixie’s home in the Kongo Jungle, now with Diddy’s mother, Jocie, in tow. The rest of the Kongs agreed with this, and as they settled down on Jockey’s motorcycle and inside the accompanying sidecar, our heroes rode off into the sunset homeward, as their journey had come to a well-deserved end.
THE END
And that’s a wrap! That concludes the first chapter of the Diddy Kong Country saga! I hope you enjoyed reading through it over the past half year, and I will tell you to rest assured that this isn’t the end of all the Diddy Kong-themed goodness I have in store for my Diddy Kong Redemption lineup of guest sections spread out across 2026! So tune in next month, as we not only enter the second half of the Diddy Kong Redemption year-long movement, but also the second chapter of the Diddy Kong Country saga! Until next time, folks!
Captain Clawgrip's Quest!
Written by: Boo1268 and ClawgripFan9001
Part 2
The next day, as the crew began to wake bright and early, the seas shifting their elegant dance, the crew ventured onward to new horizons, as the crew sailed past many of the trials that plagued their path, from jagged rock, to whirl pools, to even a Cheep Chomp! Eventually, after almost half a day of sailing and avoiding dangers our heroes pass Rabbit Island, the final landmark on our heroes’ quest before they reach the Heart’s resting place, up high in the crows nest, Coil calls out to Crofton: “Aye, Crofton, me lad! Do we be close to the location of the Heart, lad?” Crofton responds from atop the Crows nest: “I say ‘bout ten yards away, Cap'n! *Ribbit*” “Anything be blockin’ our path?” Coil replied. “We’re all clear, Cap’n! *Ribbit!*” Crofton responded, confident that THIS TIME, they would have no interruptions.
Meanwhile, ClawgripFan9001 and his crew of The Black Peach assisted Captain Coil’s crew however they could, whether it be through lugging around heavy crates and barrels like Kruncha was doing, stationing himself as a lookout alongside Crofton like Winston was doing, or steering the ship alongside Captain Coil like ClawgripFan9001 himself was doing. The Sidestepper was brought back some frightening memories when a Cheep Chomp emerged from the depths of the sea, and he shivered in fright accordingly in doing so. “Yar, am I glad we dodged that big ol’ fish there…I definitely weren’t plannin’ on becoming dinner ta one o’ those things a second time, nar, sirree…” ClawgripFan9001 muttered to himself as he manned the helm of Captain Coil’s ship alongside Coil, even Blooky was helping by way of providing tunes to keep the crew happy & motivated, (It also made the rest of coils crew pick on him less), with each of the members of The Black Peach perking up upon hearing that they were a good ten yards away from the resting place of the Heart of the Sea.
“Yar, bless me bandana! Do we really be there already?! We really ‘ave struck gold ‘ere an’ now?!” ClawgripFan9001 asked, his eyes widening with excitement and his tone of voice layered in just as much excitement. Kruncha also let out an excitable roar upon hearing the news, ecstatic about the possibility of the Heart of the Sea being found. “Well, ye can thank Windy fer that, with the lad’s powers, we be the FASTEST ship in all the 8 ol’ worlds; We even be faster than yer ship, Mr. Clawgrip.” Clamper responded, boastful of “his” new ship and crew’s skills, ClawgripFan9001 rolling his eyes at his nemesis’ boastful arrogance, disgusted by the Durapearl letting the power of his position aboard Captain Coil’s vessel rise to his already bloated narcissistic head. Suddenly, the boat comes to an abrupt STOP! As most of the crew is shaken and even falls down by the sudden halt; “WAHGH! What be goin’ on? Mr. Clamper! Mr. Clawgrip! Why did we stop?”
“Yar, I ‘ave no idea, Cap’n! I be just as confused on the ‘ole ordeal as ye be!” ClawgripFan9001 replied, just as baffled as the rest of the people aboard Captain Coil’s vessel. Just then, Ray fell onto the ship with a CRASH, landing in one of the barrels used to store water. As Ray resurfaces, he announces: “Cap’n! We be in Colossal territory! AND IT BE THEIR MATIN’ SEASON!” Just then, LEAPING from the sides of the ships by grabbing onto the ledges with their tentacles, were three Colossals; ClawgripFan had heard of Colossals before, but had never seen one; Clad in all white, with blue eyelids and red eyes, these giant Blooper relatives didn't have much in terms of Blooper traits, inking, face masks etc, but what they DID have, was size being as big as a Spike Bass and VERY territorial behavior during mating season.
ClawgripFan’s eyes widened in pure shock and horror upon hearing Ray mention that they were in Colossal territory, during their mating season of all times on top of that! “Yar, ye can’t be serious, Ray, me boy! Grambi, gimme strength…” The Sidestepper Captain of The Black Peach muttered to himself as Winston and Kruncha were just as horrified by the whole ordeal, with Kruncha doing his best to avoid becoming Colossal food by meandering cautiously across the deck, while Winston gripped the crow’s nest posts as tightly as he could to avoid plummeting out of it towards certain doom. As the Colossals drew closer, one attacked Clawgrip with one of its tentacles, Clawgrip pulling out his cutlass in retaliation, a fierce glare in his eyes as he did so. “Argh, keep yer grubby slimy mitts off me, you cephalopod stooge!” The Sidestepper fiercely told the Colossal as he brandished his cutlass at the cuttlefish monster that attempted to attack him, slashing at the creature’s tentacle, he cut a piece of it off. The beast shouted in pain at the sudden loss of a limb, but then, just as the Colossals move in closer to overpower our heroes, the creatures then stop, look at each other with a look of fear in their eyes and dive off the boat and swim away, leaving ClawgripFan with a look of confusion rather than fierceness as it previously was.
“Yar, where in the name o’ Jack Sparrow’s jar o’ dirt are those scallywags suddenly goin’ off ta?” ClawgripFan asked no one in particular. Then, just as Clawgrip asked the question, the winds begin to whirl around them, as drops of water drop on the crew’s faces, the wind begins to pick up speed, as seemingly, the boat begins moving again, but not by the Captain's own hand, just then, in the midst of all this, as a sudden whirlwind of water and air began to pick up, a massive “ROOOOAAARRRR” could be heard off in the distance, prompting the crustacean corsair to leap into the air out of fright at the sudden roar that could be heard in the distance. “Argh, curse me cutlasses! What was that?!” Clawgrip announced, then, without warning, Coil muttered something under his breath: “It be beckonin’ us…” Before then Coil shouted: “PREPARE FER BATTLE, YE BILGE RATS! The Warnado be comin’! Man the cannons! Sharpen yer cutlasses! Host the sails!” Upon hearing that, ClawgripFan and his crewmates each drew their swords, ready to engage the Warnado in battle just as Captain Coil commanded, then assumed their battle stances in an according manner. After a bit of waiting, ClawgripFan and Coil’s crews could see what looked like a typhoon emerging on the horizon, but as it grew closer, the winds began to pick up, the crew realized this was MORE than just a typhoon; It WAS the monster, with two typhoons for arms. The Warnado approached the Devil’s Bounty with a ROAR as it did so, ClawgripFan being able to faintly see a set of grinning eyes and teeth behind the winds covering up its most notable features, the crustacean squinting his eyes as he tried to make out the Warnado’s most notable features, but to little avail. “Yar, do that be the Warnado Cap’n Coil were talkin’ ‘bout b’fore…?” ClawgripFan muttered to himself in a puzzled tone of voice, continuing to squint his eyes at the Warnado with an expression just as puzzled. Just then, as the creature approaches the ship, Coil shouts out: “FIRE!” As the rest of the crew fired cannonballs at the beast, but to little avail, as while some did hit and damage it, the rest proceeded to get SUCKED UP by the Warnado and FLUNG back at the crews!
“Cor blimey! Everyone get down!” ClawgripFan shouted, as he and his crewmates proceeded to duck underneath the cannonballs that the Warnado launched back at Captain Coil’s vessel, after having sucked them up after Coil’s crew launched them at the Warnado in the first place. As the crew attempted to slash and blast the beast, all the Warnado had to do was either suck up some of the cannonballs and throw them back, or, SUCK UP SOME OF THE SHIP, damaging the crew and the ship in the process. It even targeted some of the crew, picking them up and tossing them into parts of the ship while it roared at them. Suddenly, the Warnado attempted to suck up Kruncha with its cyclones, tearing off bits of the ship while doing so, Kruncha yelling out for help towards his Captain, who quickly leapt into action in an attempt to rescue his Deckhand. “Hold on, Kruncha, me boy! I’ll ‘ave ye safe in a jiffy!” ClawgripFan assured his trusted Deckhand, as he tried to slash away at the Warnado in order to get him to stop trying to suck up Kruncha, but alas, it was no use, as the beast merely increased its suction as it dismantled more of the ship, with Winston, Napsta and Ray all trying to help pull Kruncha to safety as well, but it was no use; They were in the eye of this stormy creature’s clutches now; How could they defeat this beast?
Our pirate crustacean protagonist tried his best to rack his brains for an idea in the heat of the moment, rescuing not only his entire crew, but also taming the beast they were currently tussling with. Just then, he gets an idea; Clawgrip orders his crew to hang onto Kruncha and let HIM go, to which the crew all shout in response: “WHAT?! CAP’N, ARE YE CRAZY!?” But ClawgripFan was firm in his idea, believing that Newton’s laws of gravity were their saving grace in this particular predicament. As such, the members of The Black Peach reluctantly relied on their Captain’s word, and did as he ordered them to do. QUICKLY getting sucked into the beast, Clawgrip propels himself into the eye of the storm, while INSIDE the beast, he sees a figure controlling it, moving into position soon after, Clawgrip TACKLES the controller of the stormy weather out of the air, landing on the deck of the Black Peach as the sudden storm subsides, ClawgripFan having the being that was controlling the storm in a firm chokehold with both of his claws. “Yar, I got ye, ye scurvy ol’ seadog! Now ye better gimme an’ me crew a good reason as ta why ye tried ta give us a seaman’s grave right ‘ere an’ now, b’fore I-” He firmly threatened the true monster, suddenly turning the creature around, Clawgrip is surprised to see what looks like a cute seal as the culprit, its dark blue fur being a stark contrast to its ADORABLE puppy dog eyes and little body. The creature whimpers as Clawgrip holds it, too pathetic to escape, with the crustacean releasing the creature in an immediate fashion. “Yar, I may be a seasoned seafarer, but I don’t see any reason ta vanquish a wussy water beastie like that.” ClawgripFan stated with a deadpan expression as he got off the seal in a subsequent manner. Looking at the seal closer, Clawgrip could see what looked like a blue orb on the creature’s chest, attached by way of a golden harness triggering the Sidestepper’s curiosity, him raising a curious eyebrow for emphasis.
“Yar, pluck me pirate flags, what do this be?” The Sidestepper asked inquisitively, as he tried to pry the blue orb off the seal’s golden harness, in order to try and get a closer look at the orb. As he removes the orb, it’s SUDDENLY snatched away by Captain Coil who hoists it up in the air, proclaiming: “FINALLY! After YEARS of searchin’! The Heart of the Sea, IT FINALLY BE MINE!!!” As Coil hoisted the heart above himself in a triumphant fashion, the rest of Coil’s Crew shout out in celebration and joy! “HAZAH!”, with ClawgripFan looking surprised when Coil suddenly snatched the orb out of his claws and revealed that it was the Heart of the Sea. “Bless me bandana! Do that really be it?!” He asked with widened eyes in shock and disbelief. “See for yerself, Mr. Clawgrip!” Then, unbuttoning his shirts, Cap’n Coil reveals a part of his chest to be consumed/replaced by machinery, leaving specifically a sphere shaped spot, directly in the center of his chest. Coil then slots the Heart in place as POWER emanates from his being. Coil then RISES from the floor as he then floats over the water, a mini typhoon supporting him as he rises, water and wind surrounding him as he laughs: “AHAHAHAHAHA! NOW! The Sea be MINE ta command! The WAVES obey ta ME an’ ME ALONE!” Coil displayed this power by causing waves to lower and rise, pillars of water through input from the waves and by manipulating water into different forms. “THIS be the TRUE power of the Heart! O’ the Sea! An’ now! With it, we will be the most POWERFUL pirates in ALL the 8 worlds! Now with THIS! We can PILLAGE, we can PLUNDER, we can take ANYTHIN’ we want, an’ NO ONE CAN STOP US! Not even the Princess’ Navy!” Most of Coil’s crew cheered at Coil's speech, laughing that now they could cause mayhem with NO consequences and NO resistance, with ClawgripFan9001 growling in irritation as he knew that he was going to regret working together with Captain Coil on this matter, Winston and Kruncha shaking their heads at their Sidestepper Captain as if to silently say: “We told you so, Captain.”
“Argh, by Nep-Enut’s curly toes, I knew this were a bad idea…” ClawgripFan9001 grumbled to himself, knowing what a fool he was right now. Winston put a hand on his Captain’s back. “Cap’n, ye might ‘ave made a big mistake right now, but that don’t mean ye cannot right what ye’ve wronged. We can still work together ta put a stop ta Cap’n Coil an’ ‘is crew o’ malicious buccaneers. Me, Kruncha an’ Blooky will stand by ye ta the bitter end, like we’ve always done.” The First Mate of The Black Peach assured the Sidestepper, with Kruncha nodding in agreement, even smiling for emphasis. “Winston’s right, Cap’n! Even though yer judgement an’ decisions may ‘ave been flawed, that don’t mean we won’t abandon ye! We made an oath ta stand together ‘till death do us part, an’ we sure as all the Underwhere ain’t abandonin’ ye now! So let’s go an’ make that scumbag pay fer sweet talkin’ ye into doin’ ‘is dirty work fer ‘im!” The Deckhand of The Black Peach told his Captain to raise his morale. Meanwhile, after displaying his newfound power, Coil returns to normal on the deck of The Black Peach, before he turned around to head back to the Devil’s Bounty, he said to his crew: “Oh, an’ kill the seal as well, me mateys; Its fur’ll be a FINE product fer the black market.” All the rest of Coil’s Crew turned to the helpless seal, a look of pure FEAR in its eyes as it tries to hop away, the only one not attacking the beast was Ray, who stood away from his crew, next to Clawgrip’s, the Sidestepper soon rushing to the defenseless seal’s aid, brandishing his cutlass at the crew of the Devil’s Bounty, who chose to side with Captain Coil with a fierce glare in his eyes.
“Yar, as long as me an’ me mateys live, ye ain’t never gettin’ yer grubby greedy mittens on that poor helpless sea doggie!” ClawgripFan9001 told the Devil’s Bounty crew in an equally fierce tone of voice, Winston and Kruncha joining him against the Devil’s Bounty crew with their own cutlasses drawn against the lot of them. “Ay! Clawgrip, what do ye be doin’?! It be just a seal! Are ye REALLY gonna waste the chance for yer crew ta make it big, JUST fer a stupid sea creature?!” Clamper replied to ClawgripFan and Company standing in their way, “Ye! *Ribbit* What’s it ta ya if this ‘ere pup gets cut ta carcasses?” Crofton rebutted, but ClawgripFan and his crew didn’t budge. “If makin’ it big means becomin’ a band o’ heartless tyrants like the lot o’ ye be, then I don’t wanna make it big in the world o’ pirates e’er. I prefer bein’ a small-time pirate with a heart o’ gold any day o’ the stinkin’ week.” ClawgripFan firmly told Clamper and Crofton, Winston and Kruncha hollering their agreement in response to their Captain’s sentiments. “Aye! Y-Ye not be very nice to us,, but w-we aint lettin’ ye put an unkind paw on this here seal!” Napstablook responded with as much vigor in his voice as he could. “*Sigh* Clawgrip, ye NEVER could see the bigger picture, could ya? Even when I tried ta first steer yer crew in the right direction, ye NEVER saw what ye truly could get, ah well, that's yer weakness in life I suppose…Linn? If ye would be so kind?” As soon as Clamper ordered, Linn began shooting his thread at the crew, wrapping them up in a strong as steel silk bind all around them, thankfully, their distraction gave just enough time for the Seal to slip away, so while The Black Peach’s crew was currently captive by the Devil’s Bounty’s crew, at least they managed to buy the seal who was protecting the Heart of the Sea time to escape safely.
“Argh, it seems we be a wee bit tied up at the moment ‘ere, Cap’n…” Kruncha quipped, trying to lighten the mood a bit with his sense of humor, even in the gravest situations, such as the one the crew found themselves in right now. “Yar, that be the least o’ the problems we be ‘bout ta face, Kruncha, me boy…” ClawgripFan9001 responded with a fearful frown on his face. Coil, now walking up to the crew on the side of the somewhat repaired Devil’s Bounty, simply looked down at Clawgrip with disappointment; “Argh, I really wish I didn't ‘ave ta do this to ye, but then again, Clamper warned me that ye be a softshell, yellow bellied, sympathetic excuse fer a Cap’n…Now, at first, I wasn't willin’ ta accept that, ya know? Perhaps ye coulda been different from what ol’ Clamper described, but alas, I see now that what he said about ye be true and narrow…Suffice ta say, “Cap’n” Clawgrip, I be VERY disappointed.” ClawgripFan, however, was not feeling the slightest bit discouraged from being talked down to by Coil.
“Yar, maybe, but I still be a better Cap’n in terms o’ morality than yer sorry wee behind will e’er be, so if I be goin’ down like that, at least I know King Grambi will be guidin’ me through the gates o’ The O’erthere ‘imself!” ClawgripFan9001 firmly snarled at Captain Coil, glancing up at him from the deck of his own ship while doing so. Coil, at first was annoyed by Clawgrip’s remarks, but eventually his frown faded, commanding his crew to make Clawgrip and Company walk the plank. Coil began to speak: “I don't believe ye would be so confident knowin’ what yer fates be; We be in Stone Shark territory, lads, an’ these boys look like they be MIGHTY hungry, don’t ye agree, lads?” The rest of the crew snickers and snarks at Captain Coil’s remarks about how the crew of The Black Peach were more than likely going to be eaten alive by the Stone Sharks with their jagged stone teeth; Meanwhile, ClawgripFan9001 and Company glanced at one another one last time, accepting their fates as they did so. “Well, if this be it, me mateys, then lemme tell ye that it’s been an honor ta serve ‘longside the lot o’ ye ‘cross these Seven Seas, lookin’ fer an Eighth.” ClawgripFan9001 told his crewmates with a bittersweet smile resting on his face, his crewmates flashing the same bittersweet smiles in return.
“Aye, aye, Cap’n. The feelin’ be mutual on me end o’ things.” Winston replied in a shaky tone of voice, like he was trying to hold back his tears. “Same thing fer me. I do ‘ope ta see the lot o’ ye again in The O’erthere.” Kruncha chimed in with an equally shaky tone of voice, also trying to hold back his tears. Just then, a tiny voice called out something from behind Coil’s crew; “This ain’t right” Before suddenly, Ray announced with full confidence; “THIS AIN’T RIGHT!” Quickly, all of Coil’s Crew turned to Ray as he hopped over to Coil; “It ain’t right ta keelhaul ‘em, Cap’n! They ain’t done nothin’ wrong; They ‘elped us find the Heart, ‘elped ‘round the ship, an’ showed us nothin’ but kindness! In fact, ClawgripFan ain’t a disgrace; YE ARE!” Pointing a boney fin at Coil, Ray continued: “From the few days that I've been near this ‘ere crew, Cap’n ClawgripFan reminded me what I been lookin fer when I first joined yer crew; Love, respect, an’ most importantly; Family! They been nicer, an’ kinder, an’ more carin’ fer each other these past few days than YE ‘AVE BEEN OUR WHOLE TIME YE BEEN CAP’N!” Coil began to be filled by his rage from how one of his own crew disrespected him: “HOW DARE YE!? I took ye ungrateful bilge rats in from DAY ONE! I gave ye FOOD, I gave ye a place ta LIVE, I even made ye the most RUTHLESS pirates in ALL the Seven Seas! AN’ THIS BE ‘OW YE REPAY ME!?” But Ray did not budge; “Ye may have given us everythin’ we wanted, but the ONE thing ye never gave any o’ us, was RESPECT! Ye always threaten us, always make us scared o’ facin’ ye! Ye oppress us an’ mistreat us! Ye never gave any of us what we REALLY be lookin fer, an’ that’s a family! An’ I declare that we deserve ta follow someone better than YE! Come on lads, what do ye say?” Despite Ray's rousing speech, sadly, all the rest of Coil’s Crew curled back in fear of their Captain, a malicious smirk creeping onto Coil’s face in response. “Oh, I be very sorry, Ray, but it looks like no one wants ta join ye in yer perspective; ‘OW DISAPPOINTIN’!” Suddenly grabbing ray with his metallic arm and SQUEEZING where his throat would be, Coil began trying (and somehow succeeding) to choke the life out of Ray; “Well Ray, If ye REALLY feel that way ‘bout the way I man me ship, then I suppose ye ‘ave been relieved o’ duty; In fact, ye can even JOIN Mr. ClawgripFan an’ his crew in the Underwhere once I’m done with ye!” Choking and gasping through his stranglehold, Ray responds: “I-I would rather ‘ave C-ClawgripFan be me Cap’n…*Gasp*...than ye…I-In fact, I think i-it be best ta say that K. ROOL be a b-better cap’n…than ye be…*Wheeze*” Filled with RAGE at that statement, Coil THROWS Ray into the side of the boat with a SLAM, knocking him out in the process.
ClawgripFan9001 and Company watched in aghast as they watched how Coil nearly murdered Ray over siding with the lot of them over Coil’s crew, but were powerless to do anything about it due being bound by Linn’s incredibly strong spider webs. Suddenly, at that moment, seeing the courage Ray had displayed at wanting to protect them, Napsta couldn't hold back his tears anymore and began to cry; “H-He t-t-tried to protect us, a-and now he's hurt! T-THIS IS ALL MY FAULT! *Sobbing*” as Napstablook begins to cry more and more, the rest of ClawgripFan’s crew is about to spew tears as well, but then, Clawgrip remembered what happened the LAST time Napstablook cried and gets an idea, the Sidestepper smiling at his genius idea before turning towards Napstablook. “That be it! Blooky, do ye think ye could use yer acidic tears ta free us from these spider webs?” The Sidestepper asked his ghostly friend, turning towards him with a smile as he did so. ClawgripFan didn’t even need to ask, as the tears Blooky WAS spewing out were already acidic, quickly cutting through the rope and setting the heroic buccaneer crew free, quickly jumping into action afterward. “Yar, now that be a real man’s tears, if I do say so meself! Anyhoo, Winston, ye be with me in takin’ on Coil an’ ‘is men! Kruncha, ye an’ Blooky bring Ray ta safety! The lad deserves the world fer what ‘e did fer us right ‘ere an’ now!” The Captain of The Black Peach informed his crew, who all saluted their Captain in response. “Aye, aye, Cap’n!” They responded as well before tending to the duties their Captain had assigned them to. “WELL, DON’T JUST STAND THERE, YE UNGRATEFUL RATS! KEELHAUL ‘EM! SOMEBODY, KEEHAUL ‘EM!” Coil ordered his crew as all of them (Except for Mitch) began charging at ClawgripFan9001 and his crew, with ClawgripFan9001 and Winston being forced to face Clamper, Linn, Windy, and Slade, while Crofton attempted to take down Kruncha and Napsta as they carried Ray. As Slade & Windy rushed Clawgrip and Winston, blowing air and ink in their direction so as to incapacitate them and knock them over, ClawgripFan and Winston promptly evaded these attacks before Winston quickly drew one of his pistols and shot Slade with it in order to neutralize him. Being shot in one of his tentacles, Slade then LUNGED at Winston to bite him, while Windy attempted to blow the sword out of Clawgrip’s claws, but ClawgripFan firmly held his cutlass and proceeded to slash Windy with it to make them pop like a balloon.
Windy POPS as he quickly deflates, careening into the Stone Shark infested waters, Winston looking on in quiet awe as this occurred. “Aye, that was a slayin’ well deserved, Cap’n!” Winston complimented his Captain’s defeat of the windbag that was Windy while evading Slade’s nipping maneuvers. “Aye, aye! The scallywag always did ‘ave an inflated opinion o’ ‘imself!” ClawgripFan9001 grinned in response before driving his cutlass through Slade’s hide in a consecutive manner. Getting the blade driven through his body, Slade staggered for a bit, but was somehow still standing. As he chomps onto Clawgrip’s hide, Clawgrip, in retaliation, POUNDS Slade in his eye, tossing him in the direction of Winston, who then kicks Slade into some barrels of the ship, before taking out Slade’s other eye with another bullet from his revolver.
“An eye for an eye makes one blind, they say. So ye might as well leave ‘em with no eyes, as I always say.” Winston quipped before lifting Slade over his head and hurling him overboard, feeding him to the Stone Sharks in the process. Meanwhile, Kruncha was being attacked by Crofton swinging his blades and tongue at him, while Napsta finished carrying Ray back to the ship. “Argh! Face me mucus ridden licker, you mucky miscreant! *Ribbit*” Crofton fiercely croaked at Kruncha. “Argh, ‘ow ‘bout ye answer ta me blade instead, ye amphibian adversary?!” Kruncha snarled at the froggy foe in response before slashing away at the latter’s tongue with his own cutlass, trying to keep him away from Napstablook and Ray at all costs. “ARUGH! Ye cut me tongue! *Ribbit* Now yer gonna get it!” Crofton snarled, slurring his words from the damage done to his tongue. Just then, extending his tongue once more, Crofton wraps his tongue around Kruncha, tying him up, with the Deckhand of The Black Peach squirming as he tried to get out of the frog’s disgusting tongue to the best of his ability, though given the strength of the frog’s tongue, even someone of Kruncha’s stature was left to no avail in his attempt to wrestle his way out of there. Back with Winston and Clawgrip, Linn, carrying four daggers in four of his eight legs, fought with Clawgrip, who was surprisingly able to keep up. Meanwhile, Winston and Clamper traded blows with one another. “Well, well, well! Looks like it be First Mate vs First Mate! Ye still got skills, Winston! I be saddened that ye never joined me back then!” Clamper responded, getting a cut into Winston’s arm, after which the White Shy Guy quickly pushed the Durapearl back with his own cutlass.
“Argh, that’s ‘cause ye never were any better at treatin’ yer crew than Cap’n Coil were, ye ‘alf-shelled ‘oodlum!” Winston firmly told Clamper as he retaliated with a slash of his own at the Durapearl’s arm that paralleled the one the Devil’s Bounty First Mate had previously cut him on. “Aye, it be a SHAME that ye never gave it any mind! Ah well, I suppose it will be nice ta send ye ta Davy Jones’ Locker as revenge fer betrayin’ me!” Clamper responded with a firm jab at Winston’s side. At the same time, Clawgrip was struggling to keep up with Linn, who at this point, was almost pooped as well. The crustacean corsair was panting and wheezing in exhaustion from having to constantly parry four swords from his arachnid adversary. “Nargh, by me great-aunt’s glasses…This really be startin’ ta wear me tired ol’ body down, it be…” ClawgripFan9001 huffed as he kept on his defense against Linn and their four armed sword massacre. “Aye..huff...I..*sigh*....agree..with…ye…‘Ow’s bout we calls it a tie? Ye can bonk me if ye want, I need ta sleep anyway…” Linn proposed, also dead tired from continuously fighting. ClawgripFan weakly nodded his agreement with that suggestion before smacking Linn upside the head with his cutlass, knocking the arachnid unconscious in the process. “Argh, talk ‘bout bein’ dead tired, I say…” The Sidestepper exhaled in relief that was over and done with for the time being.
As Clawgrip “finished” Linn, and Winston was still battling Clamper, Kruncha was able to use the slime & mucus to slip one arm out from Crofton’s tongue tie, then, he reached for his cutlass and cuts Crofton’s tongue in half in the process. As Crofton screamed out in pain and released the rest of Kruncha's body, Kruncha quickly ran over to Crofton delivering a swift upper cut, who then SLAMMED into the ship’s mast with a: “N-No way…*Croak*” before passing out, Kruncha standing triumphantly over his defeated opponent. “Argh, that’s what ye get fer tyin’ me up with yer bacteria-filled bog roll, ye disgustin’ wee dunce!” The Deckhand of The Black Peach taunted his unconscious opponent before rushing to Winston’s aid to help him finish off Clamper. Speaking of Clamper, Winston, despite all his might, couldn’t keep up with the undead Durapearl, now being held at the tip of his cutlass on the ground: “Well, looks like ye failed again, Winston! Now, do ye ‘ave any last words?” Clamper replied, with Winston glancing off to the side, then glancing back at Clamper as a smile formed on his Shy Guy mask. “Aye, ‘ow do ye think a knuckle sandwich would taste right ‘bout now?” He cheekily asked the Durapearl, who then promptly received a roundhouse punch to the cranium, courtesy of Kruncha, who delivered said roundhouse punch with enough might to send Clamper flying into the Stone Shark infested waters below, thus becoming food for them like some of his fellow comrades aboard the Devil’s Bounty. “ARUGH! YE ‘AVEN’T SEEN THE LAST O’ ME!” Clamper shouted as he fell into the depths below. As Napstablook returned to the crew, Coil simply stood there in silence, before clapping his hands slowly; “I have ta hand it ta ye, ye REALLY know how ta fight, but let’s just see ‘ow well ye do against MY POWER!” Coil responded before a mini whirlwind of water began to form underneath him as the battle began, with Winston quickly leaping back to his feet whilst dual-wielding revolvers against Coil, Kruncha dual-wielding cutlasses against Coil, and ClawgripFan wielding a cutlass and a revolver against Coil, each of them fiercely glaring at the conniving Captain of the Devil’s Bounty. Coil, using some of the Heart’s power, shoots out a slew of Water Balls to block Winston's pistol shots, while summoning a wave onto Kruncha, pushing him back, before entering sword combat mode with his mechanical arm, which has now transformed into a sword, a blade just as long as Clawgrip’s, if not half an inch longer, which ClawgripFan proceeded to roll his eyes at in response. “Nargh, size don’t always matter in some fights, I say. Lemme give ye a demonstration o’ that phrase first-’and!” The Sidestepper stated, as he thrusted his cutlass forward to try and damage the Kremling Captain to prove his point, only for his strike to be immediately blocked with super speed, followed up by a quick but strong slash to Clawgrip, then two more for good measure, the crustacean Captain barely being able to react to the first two before being able to parry the third, howling in pain upon gaining some breathing space between himself and Coil. “Yargh, kippers an’ crumpets! That ‘urt!” The Sidestepper exclaimed in pain. “Now ye see the true POWER of the Heart! An’ with it, ye an’ yer miserable crew’ll NEVER BEAT ME!” Coil announced, before launching a pillar of high pressurized water at Winston, Kruncha & Napstablook, damaging them while also holding them back and in place. So as to prevent them from assisting ClawgripFan during his and Coil’s duel. “Ye see, I be SO FAST, I even be capable o’ holdin’ off yer crew while I speak! But now, it be time ta vanquish ye!” Slashing five more times at Clawgrip, ClawgripFan is extremely weakened from being unable to do anything to Coil, the crustacean corsair grunting and wheezing in response. “Yar, I really be in fer a one-way trip ta Davy Jones’ Locker now, ain’t I? It’d take a deus ex machina kinda scenario ta get me outta this fuzzy pickle I’ve gotten meself into…” ClawgripFan9001 muttered to himself as he braced himself for what was to come.
“I SAID, LEAVE ‘EM ALONE!” Just then, getting hit in the back unexpectedly, the Heart of the Sea DISLODGES from Coil’s chest and rolls into a lower deck of the ship. Coil, now losing his powers, turns to see Ray revealing himself as his sneak attacker, ClawgripFan weakly smiling upon seeing Ray back to his senses and aiding him in the final battle against Coil. “Yargh, not a moment too soon, Ray, me boy! Ye really came through fer me an’ me mateys in the end!” The Sidestepper told Ray in a delighted tone of voice, albeit a bit weakened due to physical exhaustion. “YE SCUPPERIN’ RAT! I'll SHED YER LIFEBLOOD ON ME MITTS!” Coil, now enraged, attempts to charge at Ray, only to be stopped by Winston and Kruncha blocking his path and stalling him for the time being, with Napsta hurrying over to ClawgripFan, and providing him medical assistance with his healing tears, with ClawgripFan pumping his right claw in euphoria from being healed by Napstablook’s healing tears, then firmly grasping his cutlass in his left claw as he leapt into the air, Winston and Kruncha quickly moving out of the way as their Captain delivered a theatrical killing blow on Coil in a subsequent manner. Stabbing Coil through the chest, at first the crew expected him to shout in pain, but he simply stood up, removed the sword, threw it to ClawgripFan and responded: “I told ye, Clawgrip; Ye give up a LOT of things chasin’ a dream!” ClawgripFan was shocked that Coil would go so far as to replace his organs with robotics. In the meantime, however, Bonnet the Mini-Necky arrives with the Heart of the Sea in her talons. Seeing his chance, Coil calls out to his pet Albatoss: “CEDRIC, GET HER!”
Bonnet let out a Mini-Necky-like screech in response, before she dropped the Heart of the Sea into her beloved owner’s claws, then prepared to fight it out against the antagonistic Albatoss in a dogfight, or birdfight, as the case may be. Chasing Bonnet around the ship while exchanging slashes and blows, Cedric even attempts to bite into Bonnet, hungry for literally anything to eat. As it seemed as if Bonnet was nowhere left to run, she moves her wings to her side, squeezing through a hole in one of the ships yards, being able to squeeze through herself, but getting Cedric stuck in the process as the Albatoss was too big to pass through the ship yards. During the bird battle, Coil was fending off the crustacean crew, barely being able to keep up, eventually, during the bout Ray looks over the side of the ship and announces: “Claw! Throw the ‘eart o’erboard!” ClawgripFan quickly did as Ray said without saying a word, the Heart of the Sea making a splash as it sank back into the depths that it came from. “Ye may ‘ave defeated me Crew, ye may have defeated me pet, an’ ye MAY have gotten rid of me power, but as long as me iron heart still be beatin’, I’m NEVER givin’ up ,YE HEAR!?” Coil angrily cursed The Black Peach’s crew, though Ray simply smiled and responded: “I figured ye would say that. Black Peach Crew, lower yer weapons. Mr. Coil, on the other ‘and…Say ‘ello to me little friend!” Just then, emerging from the water, Clawgrip, Winston, Kruncha, Bonnet, Napsta and Coil looked in awe as the SEALNADO had been formed again. “W-WHAT!? T-This can't be!” Coil announced, before ClawgripFan and the rest of The Black Peach crew returned to their own ship, knowing what was going to happen next. Then in a whirlwind of water and air, Coil, Cedric, his crew and ALL of the Devil’s Bounty were sucked up in a tidal wave of water, DESTROYING the once proud ship, before launching Coil and his crew away; “CURSE YE ALLLLLLLLLLL!” *ting* Coil and his crew flew far into the distance with a blink briefly appearing in the sky, never to be seen again, after which ClawgripFan9001 began spinning his cutlass around in a triumphant manner before tucking it back into its scabbard that was tied at his hip.
“Well, mateys…I think we can call this a successful expedition. One with more twists an’ turns than a mountain path, but a successful expedition nonetheless.” ClawgripFan9001 told his crewmates, to which Winston and Kruncha nodded their agreement, while Bonnet cawed hers instead. Looking into the water, Ray ponders a few things: “Well….looks like I don't ‘ave anythin’ now…I lost me crew, me belonings…What am I meant ta do now?” Ray responded, somewhat unsure of what to do next, before ClawgripFan proceeded to pat him on the shoulder. “What yer meant ta do now, Ray, me boy…is come aboard The Black Peach, an’ I’ll bump up me crew number ta six men, with ye as the newest addition.” The Sidestepper told the Jean De Filet with a reassuring smile and a fatherly tone of voice, happily accepting Ray into his own crew. Ray simply smiled as he looked at Clawgrip, saying in a happy tone of voice: “Finally, I found what I be lookin’ fer; A real family.”
After a few days sailing back to the New Wikisburg Port, Clawgrip and his crew helped Napstablook with getting his luggage off The Black Peach. “Thanks for the adventure, Mr. Clawgrip. It was a lot of fun.” Blooky replied, now looking back to his normal self, with ClawgripFan nodding in acknowledgement. “Aye, it were me pleasure, Blooky, me boy! I take it ye will be returnin’ ta yer normal way o’ life now that this journey be o’er an’ done?” The Sidestepper asked the ghostly musician. “That’s right! I definitely got lots of inspiration from this adventure for some new songs, b-but no offense; Your guys’ life s-seems a BIT too intense for me…I was glad to come along though.” Napstablook replied, feeling as if this was the best course of action, not wanting to constantly be in danger all the time, to which ClawgripFan and the rest of The Black Peach’s crew nodded in understanding.
“Yar, we understand, lad. A pirate’s life don’t be fer e’eryone, which be why it’s best left ta a band o’ seasoned seafarers such as ourselves, an’ ye should just stick ta what yer good at, which be creatin’ boppin’ tunes fer e’eryone ta enjoy.” ClawgripFan9001 assured Napstablook with a grin to emphasize this assurance. “Well, I hope to see you again someday…O-oh, before I forget…Here, take these three bottles of my healing tears…” Handing ClawgripFan three bottles of his green healing tears and one bottle of something else, Napstablook added: “I-I’m s-sorry if this is weird, but I-I don't want you guys to get hurt, s-so I put my healing tears in three bottles for you to use…T-The last one is m-my normal tears…I-If you ever needed to burn anything, I-I guess.” ClawgripFan laughed heartily as he took the healing tears and regular tears bottles from Napstablook. “Nargh, don’t worry ‘bout it, lad! We’ll just treat the healin’ tears as if they were one o’ those spray-bottled medicines ye use in the Pokémon series, an’ the regular ones as if they were a bottle o’ pesticide! Thank ye so much!” The Sidestepper assured Napstablook once before safely tucking the bottles away inside his satchel to use at a later time. “Well, so long…I-It’s been fun!” Napstablook announces as he flies away, luggage in tow. As the rest of the crew is setting up on the dock, wind begins to pick up as the Sealnado arrives at the side of The Black Peach, waving one of its cyclone arms to say hi, a look of happiness plastered across its scary looking face, to which ClawgripFan and his crew happily waved back at the Sealnado, Then the Sealnado plunged one of its arms into the Sea and pulled out a treasure chest, its gold coins slipping out onto the deck as it floated away waving good bye, with the heroes waving goodbye in return before tending to the treasure chest the Sealnado had left behind for them as a thank you. And this, my dear friends, is where our tale of this faithful trip concludes.
Hey, y’all! Boo1268 here! Hope you all enjoyed that story! This was something me and Clawgrip have been working on for quite some time now and we hope you enjoy it! Thanks to Clawgripfan9001 for writing the dialogue, for: Clawgrip, Winston, Kruncha & Bonnet, it's always fun to write stories with him!
ClawgripFan9001 here as well, echoing Boo1268’s sentiments! I too hope you enjoyed this pirate’s tale we’ve been sitting on for quite some time now, and if you enjoyed this, please let us know if you would like to see more in the future!
The Florida Man & the Business Man
Written by: Boo1268 and Hooded Pitohui
Chapter 1: Change of Itinerary
Mr. Morris, regional manager of JojaMart's New Wikisburg district, was called a lot of things: greedy, self-centered, a visionary, a businessman, snarky, confident, a stickler for the rules, eccentric, bumbling, etc. What someone could never call him, however, was late. Mr. Morris always opened his stores right on the dot each and every day, personally overseeing their openings whenever he could. He always filed his taxes on time, he always arrived for a business meeting, and he always made sure to plan out things to the finest detail so as to maximize the amount of work he could get done each day.
However, on his particular day, Mr. Morris finds himself having a minor issue with Sunshine Airlines. Despite his meticulous planning, traffic has delayed his trip to the airport by five minutes. Arriving late, Morris flings open the door of his taxi.
"Here you are, sir," Keith the miserable mallard says as the businessman climbs out of the cab, hazy disappointment filling his voice.
"Drat! Drat! I must say, I will not be leaving you a favorable review," Morris replies as he races into the airport, practically shoving the fare into the cab and slamming the door behind him.
Keith lets out a heavy sigh, slumping against the steering wheel. "Story of my life."
As Morris runs toward the airport's entrance, he hears the sound of a plane departing from the runway. As something flutters in the pit of his stomach, he looks up to see the F2620-16 soaring above him and leaving him behind. His itinerary decimated, a distraught Morris falls to his knees and despairs. "My goodness, what am I to do now? This new meeting, jeopardized… Toyhouse will pounce on this offer if we do not ink the contract today!"
Oh, woe, what is he to do!? He had, of course, allocated some time for delays - but not so much as to account for a missed flight! Even worse, no other flights to the same destination are leaving from this airport today - he had thoroughly checked in hopes of finding a discounted rate. There's only one course of action to take now! He must find an alternative means of transportation! The docks were not far, were they? Perhaps he can charter a vessel… Knowing he has only one hope, he rises back to his feet and books it towards the docks.
Each passing minute seems to taunt him, but he soon arrives at the New Wikisburg Docks. The scent of old wood mingles with booze and cigar smoke, all of it mixing with the stench of fish to trap the businessman in a repulsive miasma. He treads carefully as he searches for a charterable vessel, hands held close to his chest so that his fingers can't accidentally brush against any of the ruffians passing him by.
As he finds himself stepping over a rather crass magazine, his disdain for the docks only grows. If only the city would put someone competent in charge of this place! If it were cleared of miscreants and staffed by disciplined sailors in proper attire, how easy would it be to attract tourists! After all, who dislikes the ocean? With proper lighting, renovations, a few open-air fish stalls, and signage to direct customers to vessels offering fishing expeditions and sightseeing tours, this bit of infrastructure could offer even more value…
While pondering these things to himself, Morris reaches the end of the line, finding himself facing down palm trees separating the docks proper from a sparkling beachside. Out of sheer desperation, he scans the beach, spotting a collection of houseboats - and miraculously, one even has a sign reading "Free Boat Rides"!
The glimmer of hope reenergizes him, and braves the sands to make his inquiry. Approaching the marked houseboat, he calls out. "Pardon me! Is this sign's information correct? Would someone here be able to provide me with information on a free ride? I have a destination I simply must reach, and I assure you I can make the labor worth your while!"
Not getting a response for a moment or two, Morris peeks inside, finding what appears to be a combined kitchen and bedroom with only a hammock to serve as the owner's bed. A slew of surfing gear and other objects line the shelves, but nothing offers a clue to the owner's whereabouts. Doubts begin to creep into his head at this point. With all this memorabilia, is he finding a captain or a surf enthusiast?
Short on other options, however, he reluctantly steps back out on the beach and looks further down its length. His eyes soon settle upon a humanoid flamingo resting on a hammock hanging from two palm trees. Desperate for any lead he can get, he approaches. "E-Excuse me, my good avian. Would you kindly perhaps be able to direct me to the owner of this establishment? I am in dire need of a vessel, and I wish to speak with someone as soon as possible."
The flamingo lifts his head, blinking as he spots Morris. "Huh? Oh yeah, dude, hold one sec brah." Stretching out his legs, Florida the Flamingo escapes the hammock and makes his way towards Mr. Morris, wearing a calm and lazy expression the whole time. "What can I do for ya dude?"
Morris' mouth hangs agape, his glasses sliding down his nose as he tries to fathom that this lounging flamingo is running any kind of business. Nevertheless, in desperate straits, he clears his throat and composes himself. "Ah, yes, as I stated, I seek a vessel, good sir. Now, your sign says you offer your vessel for free," he begins, fishing a folded piece of paper out of his pockets and handing it to the flamingo. "However, if you are able to deliver me to this destination before 5:00 PM this evening, I assure you I will offer a generous tip."
The bird unfolds the paper, looking at the address before nodding. "Ok, sure thing, dude, hop on."
Euphoric over securing a ride, he pushes the doubts out of his mind, and the pair board the houseboat.
Chapter 2: Rough Waters
Starting up the boat and taking it out from port, Florida mans the steering wheel atop the ship and sets course for Carvo Marrow, a seaside town a fair distance away. As Florida drives, Mr. Morris relaxes for a moment on the outside of the boat, feeling the sweet sea air blowing in the wind. Taking a seat on the deck, he considers when he last felt the touch of the sea. He had been to beaches on his rare vacations, but not once before had he actually gone out on the water. After all, even on vacation, he couldn't stray too far from his phone! What if he were needed for some urgent matter?
As if cued by his thoughts, there comes a buzz. He immediately slides his phone out of his pocket, bringing it near to his face and shielding it with one hand as he tries in vain to block the beating sun. He squints as the sea spray fogs his glasses, able to make out a report of a delivery issue but unable to see clearly enough to resolve it!
Compounding the issue, the ship begins to slow down. As Morris struggles to relay instructions to a delivery driver, the ship comes to a complete stop in the middle of the sea. Ignoring an inquisitive glance from Morris, Florida stretches out his legs and walks inside the ship to grab something.
His mood already fouled, Morris waits only a moment before he lifts himself out of his chair. Slipping his phone back into his pocket, he trudges into the ship and finds Florida. "Ahem. My apologies for intruding, Mr. … Er, well, I don't believe I was given your name. Nevertheless, I am curious… is there some sort of issue with the vessel?" He masks his frustration behind a thin veneer of faux-politeness. "When can we expect this delay to be resolved, hmm?"
The bird responds with a wave of his wing. "Don't worry, Morris dude. Ain't nothin wrong with the ship, bro. I just stopped to do some fishin." He turns and casts a line into the water. "Also the name's Florida, Florida the Flamingo", he appends without turning back around.
"Fishing. Yes. Of course. Fishing." His polite facade barely holds together as he repeats Florida's explanation, scarcely believing the response. "And when do you think you will conclude your fishing, Mr. Florida?"
"Don't worry, Morris dude. You said you needed to arrive before 5:00 pm, right dude? Well it's 1:03 PM right now dude, so we gots plenty of time, man." Reaching into a cooler, Florida pulls out a bucket filled with krill-infused water. "In the meantime, dude, krill?"
"Ech… I'll… decline. I ate before I departed, you see," he replies, looking at Florida with utter bafflement. Does this bird not understand the urgency of his trip? He may not know many things about the sea, but he does know well of its capriciousness. Much like financial markets, the sea can shift in an instant. They may face innumerable delays outside of their control, and here is Florida, creating an entirely unnecessary and controllable delay!
After a moment of watching the bird munch on a krill, he makes one final attempt to appeal to the bird politely. "S-Surely as a seasoned captain, you understand the many delays we could face, yes? I implore you, could you perhaps wait to fish until after our arrival? Time is money, as you know! I'm certain we could both stand to gain more by arriving ahead of schedule. I could perhaps tend to a few transactions before my meeting, and you… Well, perhaps you can find a wholesaler willing to take your catches to market."
Florida, taken aback, responds with some confusion and concern. "Well… I guess, dude, but I kinda wanted to wait the high waves out. You see, dude, around this time of day, the waves on the way to Carvo get kinda bumpy." He raises his wings high and curls them down as if to mime a cresting wave. "I don't wanna risk getting slowed down by them waves dude, so that's why I wanted to wait them out, but if you're REALLY wanting to go now, then we can, dude…"
He reluctantly pulls his rod from the water, looking out on the sea and contemplating the problem of the waves. "I guess, uh, maybe I could take us through the Twisted Strand, dude. It normally takes a BIT longer to get through, but the water near the Soda jungle is always calm, so we should have a pretty easy trip."
The surprisingly reasonable explanation and suggested solution abates some of the businessman's indignation. After processing Florida's words, he lights up, clasping his hands together. "Oh, please do! I would indebt myself to you for navigating us through the strand and to ensure we arrive with as much extra time as possible." He breathes a sigh of relief, even placing a hand over his chest. "I cannot express enough gratitude for the offer. You are saving me great anxiety."
"Ain't no problem, dude," Florida replies, seemingly now on the same page. "Anyways, let's get going, bro!"
Chapter 3: A Lesson in Fishing
As the ship again gets moving, Florida and Morris make their way toward the Soda Jungle. Even on the easier-but-longer travel route, Florida somehow finds the time to make pit stops and fish. Each time, Morris complains, but Florida always comes up with an explanation, be it by citing a need to wait for the tide to rise or by pointing out that waiting out a Wiggler crossing is less time-consuming than calming an angered Wiggler. Thankfully Morris and Florida make their way out of the Twisted Strand fairly quickly.
With only a straight shot towards Carvo remaining and over an hour left, all seems to be well… until they stop once again at 3:43 PM.
Throughout the trip, Morris' opinion on Florida had risen and fallen like the stock market during a particularly busy news cycle. At times, he loathed ever meeting the bird. Whenever Florida again stopped for some inane reason, anxiety wracked him. He couldn't dispute the bird's explanations, but it didn't make the stop-and-go nature of the trip any less worrisome.
With the boat stopping once again and his watch ticking uncomfortably close to 5:00, Morris again shuffles into the boat's cabin to speak with Florida. Rather than hiding behind a mask of politeness or stern anger, this time, he comes in barely restraining his despair.
"Mr. Florida… Given all I have endured today, I will not endeavor to make sense of this stop… I only wish for you to grant me one mercy… Tell me, what is it? What is it that I need to offer for you to explain yourself?" He bends his knees, looking half-prepared to kneel down and grovel. "Why do you test me so, and how can I get you to cease? Is it that you wait for me to offer the payment I promised so you can assess my generosity? Is this some test of my character? Is there some expression of gratitude you expect that I offer? Please.. Please… I beg of you, tell me plainly what it is that you desire…"
Florida regards him with a mixture of pity and exhaustion. "Morris, dude… have you never had the time to just, enjoy a moment, dude? Have you ever had the moment to just enjoy the simplicity of something? Like, your company man, you focus so much on mass producing things, making flashier products, making more convenient things for people to buy, worrying about market sales dude. You're on a constant spree of trying to make things better when they don't need to be improved, dude." He stares at the businessman, feeling a twinge of disappointment as Morris tenses his jaw, clearly readying some rebuttal. Still, he persists. "Have you ever had a moment to just enjoy simplicity, man?"
Just as Florida expects, Morris goes right on the defensive. "Simplicity? If you ask me, simplicity is what we create! By making products ever more convenient and ever more affordable for members of our Joja family, we simplify their lives and grant them more time to enjoy their passions." His defense of the company complete, he pauses to give consideration to Florida's questions. Calmed, he elaborates on his personal role in the system, just a bit of hesitation behind his words. "Necessarily some of us must labour more so that the masses can reap the benefits… but I've never minded the work, knowing the good I do for so many."
Exhaustion becoming sympathy as he sees a tiny shred of doubt in Morris, Florida gestures toward his fishing pole. "Like, take fishing for example, dude," he starts, taking a crack at explaining his vision of simplicity. "While I'm fishing, I can just enjoy the simplicity of catching a quality fish to feed myself, bro. I'm not having to worry about what the price of the fish is, if I have a coupon for it, or if it was caught efficiently, dude. Sometimes people just want to fish to get a fish, dude. It doesn't need to be complicated, bro. It's just me and the fish."
"What you mean to say is…?" Morris scrunches his face, sorting through Florida's peculiar manner of speaking. "You detach from the larger systems surrounding you, and consider yourself and the fish you catch as individuals for the duration of your fishing? No… considering on whose plate it may end up, or what price it will command from wholesalers, or who else may be out on the water searching for the same species…?"
"It's not as complicated as it sounds, dude," Florida clarifies, shaking his head at Morris' attempt to get technical with his point. "You just catch a fish and use it to feed yourself or find someone on shore who'll pay to eat it, dude."
"You… You don't believe that sounds in the smallest way shellf- er, selfish, though? We are all interconnected by systems much larger than ourselves," Morris replies, no longer confused but now doubting the premise. "If I were- Er, I mean, if you ignore those systems, even for a moment, aren't you contributing less to the well-being of others than you could?"
"Like, Morris dude," Florida responds, slightly exasperated, "while I do agree that some things in this world are tied to systems, dude, sometimes you don't always need to be involved in a system for it to function on its own, dude. Sometimes you can just ride the wave of life and see where it takes you, man."
At that response, Morris droops. His shoulders fall, a weight carried upon them for years practically made visible. He averts his gaze, turning his eyes upon the water. "I… I have always striven to do the best I am able within the systems governing our lives. I have only wished to deliver abundance. We create great wealth for the public, you know. Economies of scale, efficient supply chains, bargaining power… all we… or… I… or… surely someone… It's for the public good, and yet I am not unaware of what they say about me."
He pauses for a long moment, observing the waves splashing against the edge of the houseboat. He allows the words to hang in the air while he imagines himself treading open water. In his mind's eye, he struggles to keep his head above the waterline, swallowing mouthfuls as the weight of his soaked suit threatens to pull him under.
"They say I am unethical, or that I ruin livelihoods," he finally continues. "They have even called me a criminal, you know. I do the best that I can, but still…" He sighs deeply, letting out the kind of sigh only produced by a man resigned entirely to his fate and seeing no other path forward.
"I… I can't say I don't admire it," he says, unable to bring himself to finish his earlier thought. "The simplicity with which you live has its own sort of allure. You need never concern yourself with the judgments of others…"
At that point Florida puts a wing on Morris' shoulder, settling him down next to him on the boat with his fishing rod. "If it helps, Morris dude, I don't see you as an evil guy or anything man. You just want to help people, but you do it in ways people don't think is cool, man. Regardless, dude, your heart's in the right place, man. It's like… how do I describe it…? It's like this fishing spot here, dude." Florida gestures over towards the spot where he was fishing, handing a spare rod to Morris. "This spot is like, FULL of cod, man. There are some super big cod that come here each and every day, man, but I only come to fish here like once every week, dude. You know why?"
Morris takes the rod in hand, considering its weight. Truth be told, he hadn't ever fished before. He spends a moment simply contemplating the tool, then hefts it back over his shoulder. With a timid motion and uncertain form, he casts the line out. He fixes his gaze on the bobber, not entirely sure what else to do. "Why would that be?"
"If you constantly fish in a single spot every day, dude, there will be no room left for bigger cod to grow, man." Florida relaxes as Morris casts his line out. "If you always fish in a single spot, concerning yourself with fishing here every day, then either the fish get smaller or you're left with no fish at all, man."
"In other words… in pursuing efficiency at all times, there is something else which I do not allow to grow? Myself, perhaps? Or… some intangible connection to other people?"
"You got it, dude," Florida replies without specifying which. "But that's not to say that checking in on things or fishing in this spot every once in a while is a BAD thing, dude. Sometimes them fish need to keep their ecosystem fresh with help from us, dude. There's, like, a fine line, man. We can't fish too much, but we also can't just let some things get out of hand, dude".
"I… I see. There is a balance to be struck. All activities require moderation." With that, Florida's advice finally clicks. Some energy returns to the businessman, Morris no longer seeming so despondent. "If we labor intensively without end, then we diminish our personal growth. Yet, if we laze about and disregard the systems in which we are embedded, we stagnate and face scarcity or imbalance. Is- Is that what you mean to convey?"
Florida does not answer the question, but simply points at the water. Morris looks where he points, discovering that his bobber is, well… bobbing!
"Quick! Dude, reel it in!" Florida shouts the instructions before Morris can even ask what he should do. "Spin the crank, but keep a tight grip, Morris dude!"
Startling, Morris gives the line a yank! The force of the motion causes his glasses to slip from his face, but he heeds Florida's instruction and keeps his grip on the pole. After a moment of struggling and pulling in vain, his hand shimmies its way down to the crank, and he does begin to spin it.
It's a difficult fight, Morris at first insistently pulling and pulling to no avail. It's not until he begins to tire that he changes his tactics. His aching forces him to give the line some slack, and he subsequently finds that the crank becomes easier to turn. No longer trying to fight, but beginning to go with the flow of the fish's movements, he draws the fish closer and closer.
Finally, after a lengthy battle, a cod rises up on the line and Morris yanks it from the hook. Breathless, he looks upon the fish in awe, scarcely believing he actually has caught it. "My- My word! I… I reeled it in successfully!"
Florida hollers in celebration! "HECK YA, MORRIS DUDE! Great job, man! Plus, that looks like a C+ sized cod man. That's one of the hardest ones to catch for first timers, dude!"
Hardest to catch? Then perhaps it could fetch a- Wait, no. After all the effort he had expended bringing it out from the waters, was he really going to part with it so easily? Would it do to simply sell it at a market, letting this experience drift away on the breeze for cash he could earn anywhere else?
Panting, he celebrates in the only fashion he knows how - by smugly stroking his bowtie. "Is that so? Well, then I suppose it shall make a fine dinner tonight! Do you know of an establishment at our destination where I might have it prepared?"
"You don't need ta do that dude, I'll make it for ya! Besides man, it's your first catch! You should savor it, man," Florida replies.
"You would? In that case, I suppose I'll simply have to call you Chef Florida!" The businessman flashes a grin. "I look forward to a sample, good sir!"
"Sure thing, dude, but for now take a moment to relax, dude." Florida collects the fishing rods, starting to head back to the ship's wheel. "I'll get us to your meeting now, man…" Sudden realization hits while he's en route. "Oh, but first I wanna show you something, dude."
Chapter 4: Depths of the Past
Morris, proud of his achievement, decides to humor the Flamingo for a moment and settles into a chair on the deck. They ride towards what appears to be a large hole in the seabed. It's barely visible through the clear water, as most of the area is covered in a black, white, & red substance that seems to give off a slight glow. Morris looks upon the glowing substance quietly. It's strange, all at once enchanting yet ominous. "I've seen nothing remotely similar before," he says, concerned by its foreboding color scheme. "What is this substance, and why does it glow?"
"That dude, is the cavern of darkness," Florida replies with grave seriousness. "Apparently, dude, that stuff comes from the Corps of Darkness. Sailors call it the ooze of darkness, man."
"Corps of Darkness?" He hadn't ever heard the name before, had he? Or, wait… Perhaps it had come up once, in one of those tall tales the teenagers liked to spread around autumn. He had never believed any of them, of course, but every now and again, he would overhear one that gave him chills.
"That must be an urban legend, yes?" It's clear there's an answer he wants to hear, a hint of nervousness in his voice. "There's no merit to those tales, is there?"
"Aw dude…" Florida hesitates to answer. "Have you never heard the tale of the King of Darkness man? I figured that was common knowledge to everyone, dude."
"I can't say I have," he replies, starting to sound a bit disturbed. "I've never been inclined to keep up with paranormal affairs - aside from when business has required it. Though I do hear that Detective Shmaluigi once had a paranormal encounter!"
"Well you see dude, a super long time ago there was this, like, king of pure EVIL dude." Florida shudders a bit as he tells the tale. "His name was Krad. You know, the dude that tried to take over new Wikisburg last Halloween?"
"I do recall something of that sort…" Morris thinks back, suddenly springing to full height as he gleefully recalls the day. "We made a killing on flashlight sales! There were customers scrambling to get any equipment they thought might ward off spirits!"
"He was once, like, alive, man!" Florida carries on. "He made like a bunch of evil stuff, dude. Some people said he even made the Dark Star ,man! But at some point, dude, some wizards wanted to, like, take him down 'cause he was evil. But they weren't fully able to, like, kill him, dude, so what the wizards did was they, like, shattered him into three parts, man. The first part - his spirit - was like locked in a chest, man. The second part, his, like, actually power manifested, it ran off to who knows where, dude. But the final part, his, like, body, dude, sunk to the deepest part of the ocean."
He points towards the cavern of darkness. "Some dudes say that his body is, like, still rotting down there, man, and that the evil power that came from his very very being corrupts and, like, warps what it touches. Sometimes it gets onto the fish and makes them look FUNKY, dude!"
The talk of corpses and scattered bodies causes Morris to shudder. "How rancid… They ought to put netting around to prevent the corruption of the fish. I certainly hope none disturb this site…"
"Sure it may be creepy dude," Florida says with a jarring shift back to his usual chill demeanor, "but at the very least if you eat any of the funky fish, they taste really good! Plus, they won't corrupt you or whatever, so I say it's a win-win, dude. People go NUTS for these fish, dude!"
"I see… I suppose there are silver linings to all situations, truly," Morris replies as Florida heads back towards the wheel to continue the journey, just glad to be putting the creepy cavern behind him.
Chapter 5: On a Distant Shore
The two carry on a ways past the cavern, proceeding back into blue waters. With few waves and clear skies, it isn't long before Florida creeps back down. The flamingo finds Morris reclining and basking in the breeze. Seeing the businessman seeming so content, he smiles. Shuffling over, he takes his own seat and strikes up a chat. "Morris dude, I remember what you said earlier about having people judge you dude and, like, how you feel jealous of how people don't judge me the same way. Well, to tell you the truth, dude, people judge me too."
Morris stirs, lifting his head so he can better join the conversation. "Do they? Who could possibly be judging you?" That he had earlier judged Florida based on his houseboat's interior escapes his notice. "I wouldn't even think your lifestyle would set you in conflict with that many others in the first place!"
"Well, often, dude, most people will call me dumb." Florida opens up without any doubts or second-guessing. "I am willing to admit that I'm not the best when it comes to booksmarts, dude. While I do have lots of surfin' and fishin' skills, my streetsmarts only get me so far, dude. Plus, it doesn't help that I work for Teller, dude, and he calls me dumb sometimes, man."
"How unfortunate… Admittedly, I do not think you would be suited to just any type of work. Some positions do require a speed you do not possess," Morris says as tenderly as he is able - which is to say, not very much. As he goes on, he does sound genuinely outraged on Florida's behalf, at least. "But to insult your intelligence!? How reprehensible! Most birds do not swim, and most fish do not fly, if you understand what I mean. It sounds to me that this Teller does not see the wisdom which you possess. A true superior would recognize where you could most efficiently leverage your skillset and assign you to the proper position!"
Florida smiles, receptive despite the imperfections of the encouragement. "Thanks, Morris dude. Honestly, I try not to let that bother me, man. I like to go with the flow, dude. But on those rare occasions it does bother me, it stings a bit, so thanks for the kind words, Morris dude." His eyes dart to the horizon, something grabbing his attention. "Oh! Look! We're here!"
Morris looks over the water, finding that indeed his destination is in sight! He breathes a sigh of relief as he draws his phone from his pocket and checks the time. Despite everything, they had made it. Perhaps he had lost his buffer, but… well, perhaps he had gained something more valuable than a few lost minutes.
He turns to Florida with a grin. It's no less slimy than usual, but his posture suggests an earnestness which he had rarely possessed in the past. Shoulders up as if free of weight, arms hanging at his side instead of folded in front of himself, he looks more relaxed than ever. "Well, I suppose we are due to disembark soon. However… I have been quite satisfied with this trip." He pulls out a sizable tip, handing the cash over to Florida. "In fact, I have been so satisfied that I may just have to consider another excursion with you. Perhaps in the future, I can charter a fishing trip or two. A little extra on your ledgers could force Teller to think twice before treating you too harshly, hm?" He punctuates his statement with a laugh, undermining a business owner completely in his wheelhouse.
"Honestly, Morris dude, I had lots of fun fishin' with you," Florida replies cheerfully. "If you ever need a ride or just want to hang out some more, dude, I'll take you to my favorite fishing spots. Heck, I might even teach you how to surf, dude!" Seized by a sudden thought, Florida jumps out of his chair and tugs on Morris' arm, urging him to follow into the houseboat. "Oh, and before I forget, man, here! Here's your cooked cod with lemon and salt, dude, alongside a seaweed garnish!"
Delight plain as day on his face as he arrives in the kitchen, the businessman takes his cod and digs in. There would be just enough time to eat before arriving, and savoring a meal would doubtlessly leave him energized and ready for negotiation. The day may have started disastrously, but now everything seemed to be going his way! Surely he would snag a deal - and if he did, maybe he'd have to reward himself by knocking off work early for the day and trying a bit of fishing from the pier.
Soon after the meal, they arrive. Morris disembarks with Florida waving to him as he drives off into the open sea. Through their encounter, each of them had gained a new perspective on themselves. Somehow, the Florida man and the businessman had become the unlikeliest of friends.
THE END
Random Video Analysis
Written by: Sparks (talk)
Additional contributions by: Hooded Pitohui (talk)
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| Video by: | shar |
| Publish date: | January 16, 2025 |
| Views: | 3,913,432 (as of June 12, 2026) |
| Likes: | 239K (as of June 12, 2026) |
| Type: | Music, cute |
Good day fellow 'Shroom readers! Welcome to another issue of Random Video Analysis, a section where I find a video on YouTube and analyze it! June marks the beginning of Summer, and this month's video is definitely one that fits the theme - the duck!
About a month after the "Ducks vs. Rabbits" 'Shroomfest concluded, Hooded Pitohui shared this video to me. He even recommended it to me so I can analyze it, so here we are! Being the leader of Team Ducks, I just had to cover this. It's also a very soothing video you can relax to, as the sounds of ducks quacking to a calming guitar melody brings joy to all who hear it!
Do you have a video you feel is special? Feel free to recommend it to me in this thread. Be sure to read the rules before posting, and note that I prioritize those who haven't had a chance to submit yet! I'll even let you add your own thoughts on it at the end!
What's it about?
The entire video is drawn in a 2D cute, almost chibi-like artstyle. At the beginning, a girl is having a picnic in a park with four sentient cacti with flowers. They're all minding their own business when a duck waddles up to them, getting their attention with a quack. The girl then begins playing her guitar and sings a song while the duck dances. According to comments on the video, the song is in Brazilian Portuguese, but there are English lyrics present on the screen as the song is sung.
Shortly after the duck starts dancing, a mallard arrives and joins the duck in a Samba dance. In the nearby pond, a goose observes the two having a great time and encourages a swan to join in on the fun. Now it's a quartet of birds harmonizing perfectly! Except... not really. The duck's voice was a disgrace, and the scene with the goose was a mess.
The duck, enjoying the moment a bit too much, accidentally stumbles into the pond, knocking the mallard in as well. As the girl recites the song's vocals, the swan leaves the scene in annoyance, prompting the goose to chase after in embarrassment. After they leave, the mallard angrily pursues the duck for knocking him into the water. The girl then finishes her song and sees a duck nearby. Is this the same duck from before, or is it a brand new one?
The video concludes with credits:
- the duck animation and music by: Sharlene Yap
- original song by: João Gilberto
- animation assistants: Braphics (clean-up and coloring), Waki (clean-up)
- warm thanks to my Ko-fi & youtube lasagna members :)
- addEntropy
- atleast13puppyz
- bluebuttons
- Carter
- Cooper
- Dr. Nenjistein
- Flaming Taco
- Hopeful Pie
- Loungefox
- Nami Noms
- Neminem
- tamim hariri
- Zzz
- and thank you for watching!
Interesting observations
- The mallard featured in this video is male because of its brighter colors (green head, bright yellow beak, etc.)
- The picnic features a bright pink and dark pink checkered blanket with a basket, a book, and a slice of cake on a plate.
- The cake is pink and has a strawberry on top, so it must be strawberry flavored! Mmmm...
- While the characters are animated in a cartoon style, the backgrounds look like they'd right fit in children's books due to their pastel drawing-like feel and neat details.
- While the guitar is the main instrument used, maracas can be heard as well. In addition, one of the cacti wields two maracas during the song! They have flowers in them too!
- During the scene where the girl recites the vocals while the ducks leave, the slice of cake disappears. It returns in the next scene.
- Most of the on-screen lyrics are colored white, but some are different colors. For example, "fell into the water!" is blue.
Gallery
Awww! Little duckies doing the Samba!
That wasn't supposed to happen!
Either the Mallard forgave that duck or this one is brand new.
Notes by Hooded Pitohui
Hello, all of you readers of The 'Shroom – Hooded Pitohui here! I can't say I have any interesting story of discovering this video. It popped up in my recommendations one day and, fan of silly longs and animations that I am, I gave it a listen. That melodic "Quém! Quém! Quém!" would have charmed me all on its own, but the soothing performance, the cute little animation, and the bird antics made this especially delightful. I return to it on occasion when I want something that'll give me a super short break from a project. It's short enough that I can watch it, smile, and get back to work without getting caught up in any kind of procrastination.
I pinged Sparks to show him this video before I thought about sending it in for this section, actually. When I first saw it, I knew I had to send it to him. He was the leader of Team Ducks in the 'Shroomfest, after all! After that, I realized it could be a good fit for this section. I don't watch that many short videos, and of those that I do watch, I feel most of them wouldn't be well-suited to this section. It was a bit exciting, then, to find one that I thought Sparks might enjoy covering! I hope it brings a bit of joy to all of you, as well!
| The 'Shroom: Issue 231 | |
|---|---|
| Staff sections | Staff Notes • The 'Shroom Spotlight • Poochy's Picks • Credits |
| Features | Fake News • Fun Stuff • Palette Swap • Pipe Plaza • Critic Corner • Strategy Wing |
| Specials | Community Awards Dossier |
