The 'Shroom:Issue LXXXIV/Fake News
Hello, welcome to the Fake News, and happy March 15th! I haven't got much I need to say here today, so I'll keep this pretty quick. Section of the Month was won by both Yoshi876 (talk) and Paper Yoshi (talk), with Obituaries and Ask Paper Yoshi, both achieving 20 votes. Congratulations to both of you!
Fortunes Fortuning In
I foresee your surprise at finding a non-general news show present today, as well as General News being unable to be on today thanks to
"Dogs have masters. Cats have staff." - This month, the dogs of the world shall be at their owners' feet and completely under their control, contrary to them cats shall be the ones pulling the strings back home, and backlash is highly discouraged as I predict severe face trauma caused by slashes to the face.
Now, this was a question I received from
"Why do people say “no offence” right before they’re about to offend you?" - It should be common knowledge that people are fickle, and some even have the gall to lower your, expectancy of an insult then completely stun you by throwing one your way just to spite you. I advise you, anonymous viewer, to take such words with a grain of salt and prepare to retaliate next time you hear them; I doubt you'd want to let them get away with so rude a stunt.
"The best way to lie is to tell the truth . . . carefully edited truth." - It would be a stretch to think one would believe a complete fib whipped out of the cream of lies from the supermarket of deceit. All you liars out there, remember to keep grains of truth in any lie you whip up, the partial authenticity will throw lie detectors off the scent, and remember, if anyone asks you about this, use this advice to conceal the source of this advice.
Remember those gravity-defying cubes of brick that most people think were originally Toads? Remember all the people who fell into comas trying to break them with their heads, and all the people who suffered from brain trauma trying to figure out how such things exist? No? What about the burly lads who shattered their knuckles beyond repair trying to smash them open? Well, turns out those indestructible things have possibly edible relatives.
Our rats from the lab
When liquefied and consumed, the Block Meal has been described as "tasting like tar", one gluttonous gold-grabbing guy commented. Shortly after consumption, he claims to have spat a small cube that grew in size until it became larger than the source of it, where it then shrunk and encased him in a light blue aura, which was apparently empowering and led to him breaking into one of the largest banks around. The police were called and even fired shots at him, but somehow the shots all disintegrated upon contact and he got away safely, gold and all. Even more unfortunately, the street and the pesky words on it let the police know that we had something to do with what happened, and things got ugly, to put it bluntly.
Contrary to what I'd think would be popular belief, the slice of orange actually has a more significant profit on the consumer than the actual block. Eating it greatly enhances the durability of the person who eats it, three-fold in comparison to the durability boost from the block when liquefied. The chef we
Bashmaster, the Unbreakable
For all those who believe that global warming is a myth there may now be more evidence that shows that it is real as Bashmaster the Unbreakable died today due to the ice that usually surrounds him melting away. Although it wasn’t the ice that killed him, the lack of it did
These events happened shortly after Donkey Kong ejected him from his island. Donkey Kong expressed regret over his actions, until he remembered that Bashmaster had tried taking the island from Donkey Kong. We tried convincing Donkey Kong to pretend to be sad, by bribing him, but instead he just took the bribe and punched the briber
He then turned our attention to his boss, Lord Fredrik who had this to say “He was a good man, shame that he was actually breakable”, the interview was then terminated due to Lord Fredrik
In the aftermath of this the Snowmads held a memorial service for him near where he died, unfortunately though as there was no ice they decided to go to sunny Barbados instead. Due to the weather there though everyone forgot that they were actually there for a funeral and as a result the only burials took place in the sand. The Snowmads did eventually remember and Bashmaster's gravestone reads "Bashmaster, the Unbreakable. Turns out he really wasn't unbreakable." Also, Nintendo announced their attention to makethey decided to skin Bashmaster, just to really annoy PETA.
Ask Paper Yoshi
Hello, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to yet another issue of Ask Paper Yoshi!! I have no health issues this month, so let's see what's in store for me!
I got a total of fourteen questions for this month's issue. Icemario11 (talk) (Forum profile) asked a whopping eleven of them a few days before last issue's release date, after the section was sent, while Koopartol Brick Block (talk) (Forum profile) asked the remaining three a few days ago.
First of all, let's go to Icemario's questions, as he's been waiting for quite a while. He asks:
Meanwhile, KoopartolBB asks:
Well, I guess that's it for this issue!!! Remember to keep your questions coming by sending me a PM, and I'll be sure to answer them as soon as possible!! See you in April!!
|Previous Section Next Section|
|Front Page About Archives Comments Subscribe Spotlight Contact us Manual of Style Sign up |