The 'Shroom:Issue 135/Fake News
Hello, and welcome to another edition of the Fake News! I am back after having to leave the section in Perch's hands last month - thanks a lot to him for taking care of it!
It's the summer special issue, which means we're already halfway through 2018. It's been an interesting year so far. It's also officially the Year of Luigi again - well, the Month of Luigi. Well, unofficially the Month of Luigi. But still. Luigi!
Hope you all enjoy the special issue!
Section of the Month
Take a look at the week's Mushroom Kingdom Singles Chart.
YKMR checks out some of the new characters in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate.
Good evening, viewers, from MKBC6, with your weather forecast for the week ahead.
Temperatures will be on the rise this week, so be sure to keep cool and stay inside whenever possible as the week goes on. Humidity is expected to rise as well, so this would be a great week to stay inside and finish your Spring cleaning.
Here is your tourist's forecast for Isle Delfino.
Fans worldwide were devastated yesterday when it was announced that Princess Daisy would no longer be appearing in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate following the upbeat princess's death. Due to the sudden nature of her death, a cause is currently unknown but things like a nut allergy nor a lesser known allergy to submarines.
We immediately reached out to Luigi for own assessment on the death, but following his untimely demise following his year, he was unavailable for comment. To be fair, we should have probably anticipated that when we showed up to his gravesite. Luckily however, Princess Peach was available for comment. “It's a massive shame that Daisy has died, I was planning on have Bowser kidnap her next time around so I could take a game off. Failing that, she could carry my Toads around me when I fight, I hate being lumbered down by them.”
It's been announced that following Princess Daisy's death her cruise ship would be turned into a floating graveyard for her. But fans of the race there needn't worry as it has been confirmed that the race would still take place. One competitor, Petey Piranha told me “GLAGZSDHUGFD,” while another competitor, Diddy Kong made incomprehensible monkey noises. I finally spoke to one competitor, Waluigi who able to provide me with something I could understand, surprisingly. “The cruise ship idea seemed good in theory, until they announced that it would serve as an obstacle. These races are freaky enough without monkeys, flying turtles, ghosts and myself driving around, we don't need a coffin sliding all over the place as well.”
Since Daisy's death, rumours have been flying around about who may take her place. Waluigi ruled himself out, saying he preferred to hit everybody with his tennis racket and suffer no consequences from it. From my understanding, a Mercedes, a mahjong tile, and the Wii U Balance Board are all in advanced stages of negotiations following their successful appearances in Super Mario Maker.
Summer has well and truly arrived, and it turns out we have a new number one - "My Ghosts" by Luigi, the title track from his album...well, My Ghosts, which was released unannounced on Friday. The single has propelled from number 10 (after it peaked at number 3 and looked set to fall out of the charts altogether) and straight to number one!
In addition, Luigi's other previously released single, "I'm Not Scared (Except When I Am)", has shot up 14 places to number 8, and he has new entries at 3, 13, 26 and 39, and many more further down the charts from the album.
This will undoubtedly come as an upset to Birdo, who looked all set to take the pole position up until Luigi's flaming comeback.
Waluigi, who has recently been involved in a feud with Luigi, has also seen his summer hit "Is It Waluigi Time (It Is Waluigi Time)" drastically fall in the charts. Seems like the public have chosen which side they're on.
Thanks for tuning in and see you again soon!
Welcome back to TV Tomorrow! You may have heard about the television deal that happened recently - all the major Mushroom Kingdom TV networks will get more than 50 million coins each. The hitch? They have to devote an entire day of programming to Luigi’s favourite shows. And, lucky for me, this day happens to fall tomorrow. The day I’m reporting on. So, here are the top three shows from tomorrow’s Day of Luigi TV!
New: The Luigi Show Revived
Luigi and the Quest to Beat Mario
Film: Luigi the Balloon Hero
Look out for other Luigi-related television showing throughout the day, from his unsuccessful cookery show to his low-rated and unfunny sitcom. And in case you miss it, Luigi has promised to tape the whole thing on an old video recorder, which he will then sell for some much-needed cash. Don’t worry, non-Luigi fans; the TV schedule will be restored the day after tomorrow. But until next time, it’s goodbye from me.
Hey, y’all! It’s me! Everyone’s favorite dude YKMR3000 back with a groundbreaking installment of Game Corner! I’ve spend months preparing for this, and now it’s finally time for me to prove myself as the leading journalistic doyen (it’s a word; look it up) of the twenty-first century. As I’m writing this legendary issue, I am currently tucked into a ball behind a cardboard cutout of Reggie at the Nintendo E3 booth for an inside scoop on the latest ruiner of many a fanboy’s pants, Super Smash Bros. Ultimate!
Now, I know what you’re thinking: “YKMR, I recognize that your linguistic artistry and talent in the field of journalism are unmatched across much of modern history, but what exactly are you doing here today at E3 that is so revolutionary? (Love your work by the way. I have a signed copy of your autobiography at my bedside.)” Well, I’m glad you asked! You see, I have insider information from an anonymous source that the copy of Smash Ultimate they have here has programmed into it five new characters not yet revealed to the general public.
I have tried several times to hack into the system and uncover these characters, but after the fifth time attempting to plug my Apple II computer into a controller port on the GameCube adapter, I was asked to leave. Not to worry! I snuck back in and have now formulated a new plan of attack. I will track down Masahiro Sakurai himself and force him to grant me access to these new characters. I will be putting my personal safety at risk. If caught, I could be tortured or even killed, but that is a risk I am willing to take for that oh-so-coveted top spot in the Fake News Section of the Month. Wish me luck!
|The 'Shroom: Issue 135|
|Staff sections||Staff Notes • The 'Shroom Spotlight • Poll Chairperson Election|
|Features||Fake News • Fun Stuff • Palette Swap • Pipe Plaza • Critic Corner• Strategy Wing|
|Specials||Community Awards Dossier • Luigi Appreciation Time|
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