The 'Shroom:Issue LXII/Fake News

From the Super Mario Wiki, the Mario encyclopedia
Jump to navigationJump to search


Hey guys, welcome to another Fake News! Today, I'll be doing the regular editorial stuff, and also explaining why I couldn't do Should Have Been, Forum Update, or whatever else I do, I can't remember why can't you remember you're the worst coffee mug I've ever had I'm getting a divorce.

Soo, staff changes: firstly, BMB, who wrote the Fake Interview, resigned when he left the forum, and then was fired by the Core Staff anyway. Don't worry/do worry, he's returned to the forum. As well as this, KoopaTroop, ex-writer of the Character Battle, retired from the community. Too bad to see them go, but maybe there's some new talent around the corner. Is it you? Yes, it is you. Get to work.

Want to sign up? First, find a vacant position on the Sign Up page (Fake News only), then go to my talk page. Don't ask for a position on the talk page, or you will be ferociously ignored. Do follow the instructions in the orange box at the top of the page. If you can figure out how, you can also use it to play Half-Life 2: Episode Two, Portal and Team Fortress 2. Just don't spill anything on my carpet.

As for the other sections, my keyboard on my laptop was screwing up a lot recently. It ranged from keys not working, to keys working too much. For example, my S key kept repeating without even pressing it, and my D key stopped working (not making any Creeper/Porplemontage jokes). But now I've got a new keyboard, so that's all fixed now.

So, a bit of a longer editorial this month. Hope you enjoyed it, and I hope you will enjoy this months Fake News:

Font TravelGuide.png

Written by: FakeIco PG6.png Pyro (talk)

Mario about to Hammer a Toothy.
Our hotel bellhops taking care of those pesky Toothies!
Well, hi, ladies, gents, and random Goombas! Welcome to another issue of Pyro's wonderful Travel Guide.

Summer is just around the corner. No, seriously. It's literally right around the corner. Summer's been stalking me lately. Anyways, now that the temperatures skyrocket, all of your favorite vacation spots get unbearably hot. Need a place to cool off? All signs point to Plack Beach!

First off, the beach has the water to cool you off. It's why it's called a "beach". You can also stand on the huge cliff to get a great view of the beach (and hope you don't get pushed off by a Pendril). You can also see the legendary statues of the sage Chakron, and rarely, Chakron himself. Oddly, he's standing on his head. If you ask why he's doing that, he'll say it was because of some basket thingy.

Accommodations are easy to find. The beach is rock-free and easy to snooze on. Don't worry! You'll be safe. There's only a 95% chance you'll be attacked by a Toothy overnight. The Sea Pipe Statue also likes to hang around on the beach and might attack travelers for no reason. I wonder who added the nuts to that statue.

And that is why you should cool off at Plack Beach. Do it now, before the heat gets to you!

Font CookingGuide.png

Written by: FakeIco ChCh.png Chivi-chivik (talk)

Hi everybody! Here’s your hostess, Chivi-chivik! And this is Cooking Guide, where we teach you how to cook excellent dishes!!
So, let’s go!

Today I’m going to Saffron’s because I’m sure Dyllis wouldn’t be very glad of seeing me...
Me: *opens door* Hi!
Saffron: Hi, Chivi! How are you?
Me: Fine, thanks!
Saffron: Really? Because Dyllis told me that he was very pissed off with you...
Me: Eh... don’t worry, I’m fine! ^^;
Saffron: Okay then. So... what are we going to cook today?
Me: We are going to cook... Some Meat Dumplings!
Saffron: Oh! This is a very tasty dish!
Me: Yes!
Saffron: Okay, please give me the Power Steak and the Cake Mix.
Me: *gives her the ingredients*
Saffron: Well, first of all we have to mince the meat.
Me: *writes down* Okay...
Saffron: After this, we have to spice and fry it in the pan.
Me: *writing down*
Saffron: When you have it, separate the pan from heat. Now, get the Cake Mix and put all of it in a bowl. Add some water and begin to mix until you have a well mixed dough.
Me: *nods*
Saffron: Now make discs with the dough, put some meat inside and close it. Do as many dumplings as you want.
Me: Okay.
Saffron: When you have all the dumplings done, preheat the oven. When it gets hot enough, put the dumplings in there. Wait for 10 minutes.
Me: *smiles*

--After those 10 minutes...--

Saffron: *takes the dish out* The dumplings are ready to eat! ^^
Me: Yay!! *takes one* Oh, so hot!
Saffron: Be careful!
Me: *tastes* Amazing as always! *w*
Saffron: Glad you like it, sweetie! ^^
???: *knocks*
Saffron: Who could it be?
Dyllis: Saffron!! SAFFRON! I know that TOADSTOOL is there with YOU!!
Saffron: Oh no! He discovered me!
Me: Oh crap! I’ll leave through the window! Thanks for all!! *jumps out*
Dyllis: *enters and looks everywhere* She left... damn it!
Saffron: ^^;
Dyllis: I’ll come back!! When she appears again! *she leaves*
Saffron: What a woman...


Meat Dumplings

Ingredients: A Power Steak, a Cake Mix

  1. Mince the steak, spice and fry it.
  2. Mix the Cake Mix with water until have a dough.
  3. Make discs with the dough and put some meat in them. After this, close them.
  4. Preheat the oven. When it heats up, put the dumplings in it for 10 minutes.
  5. After that time, take them out.

Use/Effect: This dish increases your power.

Never tell to Dyllis where I am!!

Thanks for being here reading, until next Cooking Guide!!

Font PeddlersPlace.png

Written by: Toadbert101 (talk)


Font PoliceBlotter.png

Written by: Travix Man (talk)

Hello, Chief TravixMan here, and I say, I am here reporting that crime rates have been increasing... Increasingly low. The fellows who made the crime have fled. However, I know that my great officers will get them into their cells. Their seats are warm, plus we have fresh chocolate chip cookies! Boys and girls, just listen to this crime story.

1. Wario and Waluigi's Greatest Escape

All was peaceful in the Mushroom Kingdom Treasury. All the coins have been placed into their correct storage. That was, until Wario and Waluigi broke inside. They used Bob-ombs to break the doors, took all the gold coins, and even knocked out Bank Toad, who was guarding the treasury. They even went to Princess Peach's Castle and kidnapped Princess Daisy, who would've been at the treasury to help out, if she wasn't sleeping that is. When Princess Peach called HQ, they fled the scene. If any sightings of two weird looking yellow and purple plumbers, contact the Mushroom Police Squad.

So that's all a story like that is about. Greedy Thieves stealing gold coins, and kidnapping beautiful women. See you all next month, at the same spot of Fake Police Blotter!

Font Ask3K.png

Written by: FakeIco 3K.png MST3K (talk) (usually)

'3K couldn't submit his section this month. You can ask him questions by sending him a personal message on the Super Mario Boards.