User:Glowsquid: Difference between revisions
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{{llquote|What do you think happens to a goomba when you jump on it? It just disappears into magic pixie dust? No. It's horrible. You crush its fuckin' guts right out of its body. Then its family has to take this pureed mess of mushroom and spaghetti that used to be their son, stick him in a box, and put it in the ground. An entire nation of harmless defenseless mushroom people (they don't even have '''arms''' to fight back, for christ's sake) put to the brink of extinction because their dragon king pissed off a homicidal mustache god. <br> <br> Compared to the horrors of that, Rob Zombie X Anders Brevik Simulator: Hatred, is a light fluffy harem fantasy world for schoolboys.|BryanM}} | {{llquote|What do you think happens to a goomba when you jump on it? It just disappears into magic pixie dust? No. It's horrible. You crush its fuckin' guts right out of its body. Then its family has to take this pureed mess of mushroom and spaghetti that used to be their son, stick him in a box, and put it in the ground. An entire nation of harmless defenseless mushroom people (they don't even have '''arms''' to fight back, for christ's sake) put to the brink of extinction because their dragon king pissed off a homicidal mustache god. <br> <br> Compared to the horrors of that, Rob Zombie X Anders Brevik Simulator: Hatred, is a light fluffy harem fantasy world for schoolboys.|BryanM}} | ||
{{llquote|When they realized how bad Super Mario World was they should have pulled the plug on Miyamoto and gone a different direction. Instead, they went with the guy, crappy games and all, and we saw inferior 16 bit updates to their 8 bit games, a glut of mediocrity and stagnation, until Sega re-entered the console market with Saturn. Playstation and Saturn revived and reinvented things. There WAS no enjoyable 3d home gaming until these systems were launched. Hell, there was very little enjoyable console gaming period. And what was his re-entry into the fray? Mario 64. "Here we gooooooooh!" Mariosounds like a retarded elf now. Great. What's more? The gameplay has been taken from an intense, multi-paced, precision experience and turned into Disney on acid. Miyamoto no longer has the ability to make a good game. I am not top old for his games; his concepts are too old for the gamer's needs. We've evolved, he's still rehashing his original titles. | |||
|Usenet user CoffeeCiga, 2001}} | |||
http://i.imgur.com/kLiv1lh.png | http://i.imgur.com/kLiv1lh.png |
Revision as of 19:09, July 1, 2015
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http://warioforums.com/index.php
The bright minds of the Mario fandom.
Gee, I wonder why Nintendo doesn't "listen to its fans"..?
The Great Ape War
(The following is a mirror of this Donkey Kong Wikia page, for the purpose of preserving it for future generations.)
(Also if you've somehow ended up on this humble userpage while googling the mysterious conflict know as the Great Ape War, be sure to check Mariowiki's definitive account of it!)
The Great Ape War is alluded to in many Donkey Kong games, but only few concrete facts are currently known.
Known Soldiers (Primate Alliance)
Funky Kong
Funky Kong was known as the "Brown Baron" for being the greatest pilot in the war, though he lost his tail after General Klump shot him down during a dog fight. This is why many people believe Funky Kong is an ape, but he is actually half monkey, half ape due to recessive genes from Donkey Kong Jr., his father, and an unknown female monkey for a mother.
Commander Cranky Kong
Cranky Kong was the main Commander and Lead Organizer of the Ape Alliance. Though his loss against Stanley the Bugman shattered his hopes and dreams, The Great Ape War is likely what took the biggest toll on his health, giving him a hunchback and requiring a cane to walk. It is assumed that Cranky was still in top shape during the war, as he brought it to an end after defeating General Krusha in a final battle.
Known Soldiers (Kroc-army)
General Klump
General Klump was the lead pilot of the Kroc-Army during the war. Klump is responsible for shooting down the Biplane Barrel , piloted by Funky, resulting in the loss of his tail.
General Krusha
General Krusha was the most formidable soldier in the Kroc-army, which contrasted greatly with his low IQ. He would often be sent on reconnaissance missions to retrieve the Crystal Coconut from the Primate Alliance, failing every time. His climactic showdown against Cranky Kong ended the war.
Kremling Kommander K. Rool
In the days of The War, K. Rool was not the ruler of the Kremling Krew, though it is unknown who he succeeded afterwards. K. Rule is responsible for ordering both Klump and Krusha on various missions which always failed, save an air raid, which is when Klump shot down the Brown Baron.
Inner-Army Conflicts
Manky Kong Betrayal
When the future was looking bleak for the Primate Alliance, certain groups started questioning whether the war could truly be won. One specific group, the Manky Kongs, began to prioritize the survival of their kind alone, resulting in a rebellion against the Primate Alliance. The Alliance did not forgive them for this and the Manky race remained Kong Family Rejects throughout history.
It is unknown how Lanky Kong was accepted into the Kong Family later on.