Kaptain Skurvy

The Kap'n
	; when the coconut is mine then you'll feel this pirates corn;
Appears in	April 22, 2024 (Super Mario Wiki)

This page really needs a rewrite

“Hey buster, vote Bluster, it's a buster!”

—Bluster The Benevolent

Welcome aboard me user page, sea-dog! The name is Kaptain Skurvy, obviously named after the awesome pirate from the DKC show, one of my favorite characters. I was formerly known as Starluxe, and you might know as Neo Embrynox on other platforms. I mainly focus on the Donkey Kong Country show, DKTV, and now Donkey Kong Bananza.

Who's online: Alternis, Mario shroom, FallenPr1ncess, Setta3434, BMfan08, Power Flotzo, Camwoodstock, LadySophie17, Kaptain Skurvy, Maw-Ray Master, TheMarioVariable, 1468z, Memelord2020, Sdman213, SuperMarioClub, Luigi1234, Yoshi the SSM, FortyOneInfoBox, TomZhao, ZoomZike, Toa 95, Jsteen03, Tails777, Speedrun1002000, L151, Conradd, Magolor04726, Zaku, DryBonesBandit, Vadenimo, Twiilit, Night Rowlet, Lucas201, Rainbow Road Drifter, RHG1951, Doc von Schmeltwick, Shadow2, Aomaf, Jsylvan, Ryansean071, JanMisali

My Things

What a nice pic of Funky, it'd be a shame if he was in the middle of saying something really sexist
Take this you sexist piece of shit!
nah they actin like nothing ever happened
You cannot look at me dead in the eyes and say this pic doesn't go hard
I have just one query
Times when pranks went too far
I didn't know he was santa claus
This pic is the best thing to come from dr pepper
What is this
*Insert Spongebob "I don't need it, I don't need it!" scene here*
I love the new Donkey Kong and the people who hate it are a bunch of crybabies who can't accept change
This crazy kong is a crazy kong!
Green Mario does exist after all
Wario Wario Wario Wario Wario Wario Wario Wario Wa
hehehehehe
I'm onto you DIC
Oh god, he got showered with coconut cream pies
no
Pink Donkey Kong Jr. grew up
RIP Mario's helicopter
Wild
I want to wear this like in real life
But Yoshi was not amused.
yes
I KNEW YOU'D BE BACK! FATE ENTANGLED, DESTINED FOREVER, YIN AND YANG! I DID THIS ALL FOR YOU! WANNA KNOW THE FUNNY PART? I DON'T EVEN LIKE BANANAS! AM I ENOUGH FOR YOU NOW? AM I!?

Characters I...

...Love

I mean...duh...
You can't act like this ain't cool
Random gnome guy
My main
I don't care if he's "just a Goomba," I love Goombos, alright?!
One of these kids is called "Yeah"...just..."Yeah."
I mean...he had a year designated for him. You gotta respect that.
Huh
Rest in peace to our fallen legend
SALAMANCA KONG

...Hate

I hate him. I hate the way he looks, I hate the way he talks, and I hate his stupid song, dear lord, I thought his presence in Booty and the Beast was bad...but they brought him back for To the Moon Baboon for no reason and literally does nothing for the plot? How stupid. Hate Jr. Klap Trap.
Candy sucks, but only in the cartoon. Game Candy is whatever. I hate that in the show, Candy just gets mad at DK for absolutely no reason. DK deserves a better girlfriend, honestly.
Nintendo will do anything but actually put Donkey Kong Junior in Mario Kart again
Now, I love her very much, don't get the wrong idea, but the fact she's called "Cow" in Mario Kart World and not "Moo Moo" actually really pisses me off
I don't hate Tiny Kong, I actually think she WAS pretty cool...before she got this stupid redesign! She was named Tiny because she WAS tiny! Now she's just "Relatively Tall Kong!" I don't wanna hear it's because she "aged up," because this hasn't happened to any other characters! So stupid.

Mario Games I've Played

Of course it's unfinished

Arcade

Game	Comments	Rating
Donkey Kong	This is one of the few games that I've actually played in an arcade. It's pretty good. It's definitely the best out of the three.	6/10
Crazy Kong	I've played this game ~~on an emulator~~ COMPLETELY LEGALLY and it's weird...and broken.	3/10
Crazy Kong Part II	Same as Crazy Kong...but this is a smidge bit better, though. That opening cutscene is rubbish though...and apparently Miyamoto was impressed by it?	3/10
Donkey Kong Jr.	Not as good as the first game, but still not a bad game by any means. A hard game, though.	5/10
Donkey Kong 3	This game lacks the charm of the first two games, the enemies are bland, Stanley is forgettable, and DK looks ugly. Literally nothing like the first two games.	4/10
Mario Bros.	Don't really like this game. The controls aren't good at all.	4/10
VS. Wrecking Crew	Boooooooooring. The game's 2 player, but who in their right mind is gonna play fucking VS. Wrecking Crew with me? I don't even wanna play it by myself!	3/10
VS. Golf	Pretty much the exact same as the NES version. Go read my thoughts on that game for my thoughts on this game.	3/10
VS. Super Mario Bros.	Super Mario Bros. but with some shitty levels added in!	5/10

I've also played two of the Mario Kart Arcade GP (can't remember which ones) games at two arcades...both machines were broken.

Nintendo Entertainment System

Game	Comments	Rating
Donkey Kong	Bad port. It's literally missing 50m, my favorite stage in the original, sooooo...	4/10
Donkey Kong Jr.	It's actually got all the levels this time! Still not as good as the arcade original, though.	4/10
Donkey Kong 3	An ehhhhh game gets an even more ehhhhhhhhhhhhh port!	3/10
Donkey Kong Jr. Math	Oh yeah, this game definitely isn't good...but there are worse educational games...	1+2/10
Mario Bros.	Take all of my problems with the original, and just make them 2 times worse.	3/10
Golf	Confusing. Do I need to say more?	3/10
Pinball	Okay now...I'm all for a laugh and a giggle, but lets actually be real here, this ain't a fucking Mario game.	Not a Mario game/10
Wrecking Crew	Whatever game. I don't like it when a level becomes impossible because I messed up.	4/10
Super Mario Bros.	An actual good game! Sure, it's dated, very dated, but still a fun time regardless.	6/10
Super Mario Bros. 2	My favorite out of the original three, surprisingly enough. I like how unique it is because...it's well...not a Mario game, duhh!	7/10
Super Mario Bros. 3	I don't like this game very much...it's the ugliest looking game of the original three, and I don't like a lot of its levels. The power-ups are cool, though.	6/10
Dr. Mario	A pretty good puzzle game. Not as good as Tetris, but still a fun time regardless.	6/10
NES Open Tournament Golf	Just as confusing as Golf. Slightly better, though, because this feels more like a Mario game than that does. Mario doesn't look like a 40 year old guy going a midlife crisis this time.	5/10
Yoshi	I don't like this game that much to be honest. I honestly don't have much to say about this one.	3/10
Wario's Woods	Again, I don't really have much to say about this game. It's just another mediocre puzzle game, just like Yoshi. It is a bit better, though. A bit.	4/10

Family Computer Disk System

Image	Game	Comments	Rating
	Super Mario Bros.: The Lost Levels	Hard game. I definitely ain't the first person to tell ya that. Obviously not as good as the first game.	4/10

Game Boy

Game	Comments	Rating
Super Mario Land	It...exists.	5/10
Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins	Much better game than the first, the carrot is overpowered, though.	6/10
Dr. Mario	Who thought it'd be a good idea to make a game about matching colors for a system without colors?!	3/10
Donkey Kong '94	Really fun game. It's the best game in the Mario vs. Donkey Kong series, even though it ain't even part of that series.	8/10
Donkey Kong Land	Not a big fan of this game. The game definitely feels more clunky than the rest of the series...I'll give Rareware the benefit of the doubt though, this is the first in the series and they were probably still trying to figure out how to make this series work.	4/10
Donkey Kong Land 2	It's better than the first, I guess.	5/10
Donkey Kong Land 3	The best in the Donkey Kong Land series...but even so, I don't see why anyone would wanna play these over the much better SNES equivalents.	5/10