The 'Shroom:Issue XXVI/Top 10
Hello Everybody! Welcome to my new section, the Top Ten. Here, I'll give some of my top ten Mario Moments. An today's top ten is about "secrets". The Mario franchise is chock full of them, and today I'll count off the top ten greatest. Why top ten? Because I'm too lazy to go any further. So, pull up a bean bag for:
Jaffffey's Top Ten Secrets!
Out of all the games in it's franchise, the original Mario Party had the best boards. They were all themed after a character, all were simple, and exploded with creativity. While the Eternal Star was different from the other boards, it was certainly just as good. Fighting the Koopa Kids for stars, using teleporters, and trekking across grafittied stars were all perks to this secret board. What always had me admiring this board was how to obtain it, you need to get *dramatic pause* 100 STARS!!!!! They knew yoou would be hyped up to get this secret, and they sure had a right to.
Although an innocent and easy game at heart, I can honestly say I've had my fair share of aggrevating experiences with Yoshi's Story. I feel rather alone in this department, which is kind of surprising seeing as how so much can kill you. That's why Black and White Yoshi are such cool characters, they're almost invincible! They can sure take a punch, they're not picky about their food, and they are overall fun to play with. Whoever says this game is to easy can say it without regret, but for me, I'm nothing without a dark colored Yoshi at my side.
While not a Mario secret per say, Ness was a nice addition to an already decent roster of characters. I know that there are few people out there who think this character is broken, or feel Captain Falcon was the better secret character, but Ness was still a cool character. Not only was he interesting as a character, but he also gave America hope for thhe Earthbound franchise. True, we haven't recieved a new game since Earthbound, but it's still kept the fans quiet for a few seconds. My only complaint was, why didn't he have the moves he had in Smash Bros. in his own game. It would be espesscially cooler if he conatantly shouted, "PK FIRE"! in Earhtbound. But, what can you do?
7: Waluigi Clothes Swap:Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door
Sometimes, the best secrets are ones that have absolutely no impact on gameplay. Take this on for example: It changes your clothes! In writing, it seems rather silly that i would put something like this in a best secrets list, but i still find it cool. You access this secret by equiping the L and W Medalions (which change your clothes to look like that of Luigi and Wario, repectfully),which will make your overalls black, your shirt and hat purple, and your shoes red. So remember kids: Luigi + Wario = Waluigi. I think I have found the ultimately disturbing truth of Waluigi's origin. As useless as this secret may be, the Clothes swap still manages to make it as #7 on this countdown.
6: 8-Bit Pot: Paper Mario
Seeing as how we are on the topic of meaningless secrets, let's talk about the pot trick in Paper Mario. In the game, you find a mysterious pot in the Boo Mansion. You step inside it, come out, and "VIOLA!" your in your 8-bit glory. What I always found interesting about this secret was the fact that the pot is just sitting there! It's not conceled, it's not invisible, it's not in a secret room, it's just THERE! Talk about lazy programmers! With all obliviousnous aside (no, I don't know if that's a real word), the pot trick is still fun, and can be accessed with out much trouble. And, in my book, that's something to look upon in respect.
5: Culex: Super Mario RPG
By this point in my article, you've probably noticed 3 types of secrets in Mario games. There are the silly ones, the helpful ones, AND THE COMPLETELY BADASS ONES! What, you still haven't seen any of the third variety here? Well that's about to change in my next entrant, Culex. Culex was a secret boss in the first Mario RPG game. So what made this character so cool? What DIDN'T make this character so cool?! He looks like a galaxy, he has the power of four elemental crystals, he is the ultimate test of strength in the game, and they play Final Fantasy music in the background. HRRGH! Somebody call an ambulance, my heart just stopped. Cool no matter how you look at him, Culex is certainly the Uber powerful secret boss.
Now, you didn't think I was going to leave out the classic secrets, did you. Yes, Super Mario World was practicly crawling with secrets. And although most people are partial to the Star World or the diffrent colored Yoshi's, my favorite secret would have to be the Top Secret Area you find rather early in the game. It's pretty simple of an area too. There are just three ? blocks all containing power-ups. While this may not seem awesome or thrilling, all I know was that I was constantly coming back to this area for a fire flower and Yoshi. It was very simple in itself and in how to obtain it, but that's what gave it it's greatness, and is why it earned it's place in the countdown.
Probably the only secret to be completely "secret" in these games would have to be the Minus World glitch in the original Super Mario Bros. game. Unlike my last pick, which I thought would be ostracized for being too obvious, this one was pretty darn hard to get to. You've got got to be in the right place, at the right time, and what is ther to reward you with? A swimming level with no real end and frustration that knows no bound. Depending what you are looking for in a secret, this could be your perfect idea of secret, or a giant let down. Whatever you see in the Minus World, you can certainly tell that it sure is "secret".
2: Yoshi: Super Mario 64
This is one of my personal favorites, but I didn't place it as #1 to avoid controversy. This is one that requires all the skill you have in the game and collect every last one of those power stars. Then, you use the special cannon to go to the roof of the castle. And what do you see there? None other than the greatest character cameo to ever grace his face in a Nintendo game...... Sonic the Hedgehog! Nah, I'm just kidding, It's freaking Yoshi the Yoshi! But just having everybody's favorite green dinosayr isn't enough to be a great secret, right? WRONG! But, he still gives you 100 lives and a sparkly super jump. All before jumping behind the castle into the glitchy ebyss never to be seen again, it is that epic.
For my #1 spot, I wanted a secret that almost everybody would be able to accept. I think I've just that woth this pick, because I'm pretty sure everybody whose played this game knows about it. There are 3 flutes in the game, near the begining, and anybody who owns this game knows how to get at least one. The whistles themselves transport you to warp zone, where you can pick where you would like to go. Although this seems to take the fun out of playing the game, it can only be used to it's full extent by the experts, while the rough amateurs won't get very far with it. It's definitely a secret we've all expierienced, and is probably the secret in any Mario game I know of.
Hope you enjoyed this countdown, and realize that life's no fun with out a little mystery....... Laters!