The 'Shroom:Issue LXXXVII/Fake News

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Editorial

Welcome to a very special issue of Fake News. Not the Special Issue, but a special issue nonetheless. Every issue is special to me. Which, in turn, makes none of them special. Except the Special Issues. I have some business to take care of this month.

Firstly, I'd like to thank Yoshi876 (talk) for compiling the Fake News sections and writing the Editorial last month, because I've been really busy with exams and whatnot, so that was really helpful.

Next, we're sad to see Paper Yoshi (talk) go, as he is resigning from his Ask Paper Yoshi section this month, which is sad, and we wish him best of luck for the future. However, we, once again, have a new guy, the identity of whom will be revealed at the end of Ask Paper Yoshi, so that's pretty exciting. Well, not for me, I know who it is. But you don't. Ha. Either way, thanks for everything you've done, P_Y. ENJOY YOUR FREEDOM WHILE IT LASTS

Finally, in terms of Section of the Month, it was really close between the three sections we had, but May 2014's Section of the Month ended up being Peddler's Place by Toadbert101 (talk), with 26 votes! To put in perspective how close it was, Ask Paper Yoshi (by Paper Yoshi (talk)) came second, with 25 votes, and the Obituaries (by Yoshi876 (talk)) came third, with 24 votes. Either way, congratulations to all of you!

I haven't got much else to say here, except that the sign up sheet for Fake News is kinda looking lonely. To sign up for a Fake News section, or even to send in a one-time submission, just send me a PM on the Super Mario Boards containing your answers to the application form located at the top of this page. Either way, have fun, and don't die.

~ FakeIco MCD.png MrConcreteDonkey (talk), inspirational speaker

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Written by: Toadbert101 (talk)

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Written by: Yoshi876 (talk)

Gold Mario

The deceased
Moments before the incident

Tragedy struck the golf courses earlier today as I had to use Spell Check to spell tragedy right for the 400th time as Gold Mario was struck by lightning, which is very strange as Lightning is an item in the Mario Kart series, not the Mario Golf series, guess that’s what they get for introducing items. The mortician, Wario, was quick onto the scene, too quickly for some people's liking as he won the 100cc Mushroom Cup and wasn't even participating. Gold Mario was promptly declared deceased and sent over to the mortuary for further analysis, the body has yet to arrive despite being sent 10 hours ago.

Many people took to the streets to express their sadness, although it seemed more directed at the fact that golfing has been postponed and many of the poor Mushroom folk had bought TVs just for this occasion and now their waste of money was for absolutely nothing for all, maybe if they had paid more attention in school they would've been able to avoid this situation. The people who did comment on the passing of Gold Mario were more critical of him than sad to learn of his passing, Pink Gold Peach was quoted as saying "He's just a bland recolouring of Mario that shouldn't exist, who in their right mind would think something like that up?" Bowser was quoted as saying "Why should I care that he’s gone?", when we asked about other deaths he responded exactly the same. When our investigators went to question Wario they more surprised at the amount of gold that he had recently procured, they were thrown out after Wario sensed that they had made a connection between the disappearance of the body and Wario's new gold collection which includes a gold hat, and a gold golf club.

In the aftermath of Gold Mario's death, Wario has been arrested for taking bribes and the search for Gold Mario's body has begun. Police, however, are starting to lose hope after two minutes of searching and finding nothing. "We have been trying our hardest to find him, but it’s extremely likely that he came back to life and fled the country as getting struck by lightning is a crime."

Ask Paper Yoshi

Written by: Paper Yoshi (talk)

Hi, dear readers, and welcome to the June Issue of Ask Paper Yoshi! As I said before, this will be my last issue as writer of the Ask... section, and so we'll end this run of the series with a whole lot of questions! Twenty-fi--I mean, twenty-four questions, to be exact, all asked by our ever-present questioner, Koopartol Brick Block (talk) (Forum profile).

Well, what are we waiting for? Let's get to those questions!!

Q u e s t i o n s ! T h i s m i g h t b e a l o t o f Q U E S T I O N S ! ! ! yoshi.gif wait up!!
(Note: this text moved on the forums, but I couldn't replicate that here)
1: Who is going to replace you?
That's a question best answered at the end of the section, so I'll leave it that way...
2: I saw a pile of muffins near the Shroom HQ door. Was that you?
No way! I wouldn't store that many muffins for no reason... I would eat every single muffin from that pile!
3: What was the first time you ever had a muffin?
I don't remember when that happened, but I'm certain that was a marvelous day, a day everyone is supposed to actually remember, right, stupid Cyan Yoshi?
*fights with self*
4: Have you ever eaten chips? (NOTE: MIGHT BE COMPUTER CHIPS)
Yes, I've had chips before. No, not computer chips, just regular potato chips. I especially love homemade potato chips, as a matter of fact.
5: What if you were a troll?
I'm actually too good to even be able to be a troll, but I guess I could be a very clever and sneaky one if I tried...
6: Do you like cheese?
I simply love most kinds of cheese, as it's very delicious, and goes well with different kinds of food, such as maccaroni, pizza, beef, burgers, fries...
7: yoshi.gif
:yoshi: yoshi.gif
8: What do you think of fezzes?
I have to admit I didn't know what those hats were called until this very moment, as I looked it up on Google. I think they're somewhat cool, although I don't have a real opinion formed on the subject.
9: Have you counted up to 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

*ten minutes later*

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000?
lol
0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5...
...489, 490, 491, 492, 493...
...765346, 765347, 765348, 765349...
*snore*
*snoooore*--Wait, what? Where was I?
10: Why do you like muffins?
I don't know, they're just so yummy and soft and oh my God they're sooooooooo delicious!!! Now, where's my muffin?
11: What if you were made of lava? teehee
I'd be some very stupid lava running around, aimlessly melting everything on my path, that's for sure :P
12: Do you like comic sans?
Uhhhh, not really...
13: Maybe even Arial?
Oh, now I like it! I prefer those "normal" fonts over some "distinct" ones, such as Comic Sans or those weird ones with equally weird names.
14: Have you ever seen a pig?
oink oink
Now that I think of it, I don't actually recall ever seeing a live ("live", not "alive") pig before...
15: Do you hate flies?
Yes, especially the ones which fly around in circles endlessly while you're trying to make them leave the room. Those are the worst!
16: What was one time you were very "derpy?"
There were so many times I acted derpy I can't actually remember one specific occurrence, to be honest. I always say or do something I wasn't supposed to say or do, and it keeps happening. I'll never learn :(
17: What did you do with the lemon from last time?
Well, I followed standard procedures for stray lemons, and made a nice lemonade with it (not a lot, but it was good nonetheless).
18: Do you like popsicles?
I like them somewhat, but I prefer ice cream over popsicles.
It should be noted that, here in Brazil, we call popsicles "ice cream" (in Portuguese, "sorvete") as well, so that's why I'm comparing those two things. :P
19: Do you hate or love the cold?
As I might have mentioned before, I really really really love cold weather. I mean, it allows you to cuddle with your loved one, watch a good movie, eat a lot (as we get hungrier in cold weather), and put on winter clothes, for example.
20: LOOK!
_____
/_ , ' _\
| | | | | |
| | | | | |

A MUFFIN!
Yaaaaaaaaay!!!!!! I want it!!!!!!
21: What was the BEEEST DAAAAY EEEEVER!!!!
Definitely March 2nd, 2012, the day I asked my girlfriend if she actually wanted to be my girlfriend. Hands down.
22: Do you hate ads? lol really pointless
I don't really have a problem with ads, as long as they're not offensive and/or in my way.
23: I found a "open vault door" button in the pile of muffins. Why is it there?
No touching button. Extremely dangerous. No don't do it. No. NO!!!!!
24: If you had a muffin for a pet, what would you name it?
*munch**munch*
Did you say "muffin"?
25: What if-[This user has asked too much questions. So this is not a question.]
*boop*And that's the 435th question I've asked! And lastly, here is some "Muffin essence"

[1]
click it, dummy
....THAT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE A MUFFIN!!!!
But, but... I thought you'd finally give me a muffin!! Darn it!

And that's it for Season 4 of the "Ask..." series, everyone!! I really enjoyed writing this section, and that's why I'll leave you guys in very good hands. Season 5 will start next month, as my good friend Hypnotoad (talk) starts answering your questions! His very own section is somewhere around here, so look for it if you wish to send him even more questions!

Well, see you around, then, everyone! I hope you enjoyed this section as much as I did!!

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Written by: Hypnotoad (talk)

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If you seek my flawless advice, please send questions to me on the forum, find me in chat, or if you don't care about anonymity post them on my talk page!

Issue LXXXVII
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