The 'Shroom:Issue LIV/Fake News
How do I become a member of the Fake News team?
Write an application to this forum account. Use a descriptive subject so I know what your intention is.
This is the application form you need to use:
1.) Which position would you like to apply for? 2.) The staff reserves the right to remove writers from their position if they engage in activities that reflect badly on The 'Shroom. These activities include extensive misbehavior on the Super Mario Wiki and/or its forums. Do you agree to not engage in such activities for the entire duration of your employment? 3.) Please write a full-length demo of your section. That way, we can have a bit of your work to decide if you can be on the team.
Please put some effort into your example section. The better your example is, the likelier it is to get a fast response.
I want to write for the Fake News, but I'm not good at keeping schedules. Can I contribute anyway?
Yes, you can. You can write sections as a freelance writer and send them in. If the staff likes them, and they fit in thematically with our newspaper, they will be published in the next issue.
This feature is called the News Flush. You can send these sections to either this forum account, or send an email to [email@example.com]. Please make sure to use a descriptive subject line.
If you send in a section per email, please don't forget to include a name so we can credit you properly (you can use a pseudonym or choose to remain anonymous altogether). Also, don't attach any files directly to your email.
Yesterday, Waluigi decided to start his own business, so he built a taco stand right inside his neighhborhood. Run solely by Waluigi himself, the little stall sold more than 1000 tacos on his first day. Here were some of the customers' reactions to the food served:
“WAHAHA! These tacos are DEΓICIOUS!”
“WAHAHA! These are EXCEΓΓENT! And the owner is dashingly handsome.”
“WAHA...Ahem, I mean, these delicacies are absolutely tasty!”
If you happen to be anywhere in Waluigi's neighborhood, I suggest you stop at Waluigi's Taco Stand, because nobody scams better than me, Walu...I mean, just stop and grab a bite.
Thetook place this month in , with Bowser emerging as the champion. His claws enabled him to shred through the shins of his competitors, thus forcing them to fall on the ground.
You may be wondering what exactly is so funny about shinkicking. Well, it's an actual sport. In shinkicking, contestants basically stuff straw into the bottom of their pant legs (some competitors wear tube socks to make this easier) and the two players try to kick each other in the shins until one of them falls over.
After his defeat in the championship match, Wario said, "Bowser really kicked the shin out of me today."
A new craze has been taking the Mushroom World by storm, thanks to one tall man and his tacos. Waluigi's Taco Stand started out as just a small stand, but now it's the second biggest taco-based restaurant in Waluigi's neighborhood. This documentary offers a behind-the-scenes look at a day working at Waluigi's Taco Stand, in Waluigi's Taco Stand: Behind the Tequila.
The cameraman is let into the kitchen, where the 30 staff and Waluigi are working to create lovely food. Tacos, burritos, more tacos, socks. The variety is almost endless! The man himself does a lot of work behind the behind the scenes, too. Managing a fairly large restaurant isn't exactly easy. His large, comfortable chair sometimes goes into a slightly uncomfortable position, his TV remote gets lost. It's a hard-not-not life for the poor friend of an enemy of a plumber. His hobbies including eating the many moneys he makes, which he can only get to do at a bunch-per-minute basis. But that is a good reward for his hard work.
Suddenly, halfway through the documentary, disaster strikes! A stray, rebellious taco rolls under the cupboard! One of the employees tries to lure it out by wearing an attractive female taco suit, and that almost works. But the taco catches sight of a very ugly female burrito, and has to hide. So do most of the employees. But the brave Waluigi comes in to sort it out, and eats the taco and burrito. And the cupboard. According to the workers, similar dramas like these occur every day, and you couldn't make it up. Well, I could. In fact, I am now. But enough about me. The extent of the dramas mean that Waluigi has eaten quite a lot of the things in the kitchen. I shouldn't cover all of the program, so why don't you watch it yourself? It's on MushTV at 8:00pm on the 20th September. 2013.
Thanks for reading, and don't forget to tune in. Or do forget. Or almost do but not exactly quite just slightly forget. Or just read the next section:
Today I have my friend Waluigi on stage. Why, you ask? We are promoting his first of "soon to be many" gourmet restaurants chains.
So to start things off, Waluigi's Taco Stand is located on the outskirts of his neighborhood.
Waluigi is also great with customers, or so he says!
I'm also better looking than that Luigi guy!"
The best part is that their vegetables: the lettuce and tomatoes, are hand-picked straight from the farm, or so Waluigi says. This means they have no preservatives and are as fresh as they get.
Of course, you can get different vegetables on it! I prefer the eggplant-onion taco myself, but people always give me weird stares when I eat it! They're don't know that the great Waluigi will one day be the best taco seller! WAHAHAHAHA!"
Uhh, I guess that's it. Next time you're in Petalburg, why not stop by Waluigi's Taco Stand for some delicious...tacos...
Hi everybody! Here’s your hostess, Chivi-chivik! And this is Cooking Guide, where we teach you how to cook excellent dishes!! So, let’s go! ---
This time I have gone to visit Saffron
because I was tired of chefs being angry all day.
Me: *entering* Hello! Saffron: *happy* Welcome! Thanks for coming! Me: Not at all. Saffron: I’m ready to cook anything! Me: Okay! I want you to cook... a Fruity Syrup!! Saffron: A very tasty Fruity Syrup! I love it! Well... We’ll need a Peachy Peach and a Honey Jar! Me: Here! *gives the ingredients to Saffron* Saffron: First, get a stewpot and put all the content of the Honey Jar in! Me: *writing* Yay! Saffron: After this, warm the honey up for 5 minutes. Take the stewpot out from the stove. Me: *writing* OK... Saffron: Then, put the Peachy Peach in a blender and make juice with it. When you have it, put the honey and the juice in a mixer. Me: *writing* Yes... Saffron: When you see you have a nice mix, empty all this in a jar, and put it in the fridge for 30 minutes. And you’ll have finished! Me: *happy* I want to taste it! *tastes* Incredibly delicious!! Saffron: *blushing* Thanks, it was easy to make... Me: *crying in a ridiculous way* You are so kind to me!! Saffron: I like to be kind with the people! Me: *still crying* Thanks for cooking this for our newspaper!! Saffron: I will be always glad to cook dishes for you! ---
Summary: Fruity Syrup
1. Warm the Honey in a stewpot for 5 minutes on the stove and then take it out. 2. Make juice form the Peachy Peach and mix the result with the honey in a mixer. 3. Put the mix in a jar and let it cool in the fridge for 30 minutes.
Thanks for being here reading, and, until next Cooking Guide!!
“Winter wrap-up, Winter wrap-up…” Gah, confound these ponies and their catchy musical numbers. They drive me to drink. Yeah, welcome loyal readers to an unfortunately short edition of Ask ‘3K written by yours truly. Let’s go to the inquiry, shall we?
From New Super Yoshi: Why did you choose the name MST3K? Because it’s the best show to ever grace television. I was originally going to go with “Honey Bunches of Death”, also a reference to the show, but I thought that it was way too long.
From WakerLuma: What Mario RPG is your favorite? I like 'em all. Probably the original Paper Mario on the N64. It’s just enough of a shake-up to the standard Mario formula without delving into “Mario prevents the apocalypse” scenario, which, in my humble opinion is a tad dark for the series.
*insert clever outro here*