The 'Shroom:Issue 147/Fake News

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2017-FakeNews.png


Editorial

Shroom2017 MrConcreteDonkey.png

The Fake News will peak when every section covers real, actual news; when the joke is that the joke has been subverted. Then it will be called the "Fake Fake News". This was told to me in a dream.

For now, enjoy the Fake News in its current state. But never forget that change marches on.

Section of the Month

FAKE NEWS SECTION OF THE MONTH
Place Section Votes % Writer
1st TV Tomorrow 45 78.95% Quizmelon
2nd Obituaries 12 21.05% Yoshi876



News Report

A look at the weather for the week ahead.
[read more]

Yoshi876 goes too far.
[read more]
Entertainment Features

Quizmelon tells us what to watch on the telly.
[read more]
Selling Out
Raregold

This rare advice is golden!
[read more]


Font WeatherForecast.png

Written by: FunkyK38 (talk)

Good evening, viewers, from MKBC6, with your weather forecast for the week ahead.

Day Predicted Temperatures Forecast Chance of Precipitation
Monday WF Partly Cloudy.png High: 68 Low: 49 Bright with a few patches of clouds. 0%
Tuesday WF Sunny.png High: 72 Low: 51 Warm and breezy. Winds picking up overnight. 0%
Wednesday WF Partly Cloudy.png High: 67 Low: 50 Winds will blow in some clouds for the day. Partly cloudy to cloudy overnight. 0%
Thursday WF Cloudy.png High: 65 Low: 48 Windy and cloudy. Possible chance of rain overnight. 10%
Friday WF Rain.png High: 65 Low: 44 Afternoon showers with winds dying down. 60%
Saturday WF Rain.png High: 67 Low: 46 Rain throughout the day. Storms moving in overnight. 80%
Sunday WF Thunderstorm.png High: 68 Low: 50 Storms throughout the day. Some storms may turn severe. 100%

This week, temperatures will stay in the mid to upper 60s as rain moves in for the weekend. Watch out for storms on Sunday that may turn severe with damaging winds, possible hail, and lightning strikes.

Have a look at this week's Treehouse forecast, where we'll keep you up to date on what you can expect for your viewing conditions.

Day Predicted Temperatures Forecast Chance of Precipitation
Monday WF Cloudy.png High: 82 Low: 64 Full of anticipation. Watch for high winds. 0%
Tuesday WF Sunny.png High: 80 Low: 67 Bright sunlight reveals many new things. Warm. 0%
Wednesday WF Sunny.png High: 80 Low: 65 Illumination of the highest degree. Careful of spoilers. 0%
Thursday WF Sunny.png High: 84 Low: 70 Clear skies and clear view. 0%
Friday WF Cloudy.png High: 79 Low: 58 Time for a cooldown and recovery. 20%
Saturday WF Partly Cloudy.png High: 78 Low: 59 Time to recap and study the news. 40%
Sunday WF Rain.png High: 75 Low: 54 Time to cry over the long wait. 100%

Obituaries.png

Written by: Yoshi876 (talk)

Plessie

The deceased

In this world where Mushrooms make you grow larger, and cherries split you into an exact double of yourself, something incredibly strange has happened. My editor has asked me to write the obituary of a creature that went extinct some 65 million years ago, with that creature being Plessie.

I was sent to World 1-4 of the Sprixie Kingdom, which is an incredibly weird name for a town. Why not something like Loughborough? Or Reading? Or even Cincinnati? Unfortunately, however, the locals proved to be stark-raving bonkers as they kept insisting to me that Plessie had only died on Tuesday. They also attempted to tell me that he had died as a result of a large fall over the waterfalls instead of a meteor strike. Honestly, no wonder Bowser easily captured all of their princesses.

So my trip to the Sprixie Kingdom wasn't entirely wasted, The 'Shroom doesn't pay travel expenses after all, I decided to humour the locals so I could gather some information on Plessie. One Sprixie told me that she used to supervise Plessie before he went down the waterfall, perhaps raising the possibility that Sprixies are eternal creatures who don't age, or sticking by my original theory in which they are all crazy. I would have attempted to interview the Sprixie Princesses, but seeing as they died in one my first Obituaries, I decided they probably wouldn't accept my phone calls.

I was informed that Plessie's funeral would be held next week, but I was sadly hounded out of the Sprixie Kingdom when I attempted to enquire as to whether funerals for the rest of the dinosaurs who perished in the meteor strike would be held. If 65 million years ago still qualifies as 'too soon' when can you make jokes about people's deaths?

EDITOR'S NOTE: Our writer has been disciplined for acting insensitively towards the friends of Plessie. He has since been informed that Plessie really did die recently, and that other dinosaurs, like Yoshis, do exist within the Mushroom Kingdom. Our writer has since been sent on a dinosaur awareness course to make sure that future incidents like this don't happen again.

Font TVTomorrow.png

Written by: Quizmelon (talk)

Welcome back to TV Tomorrow, which despite having perhaps the strangest attempts at unique humour and captivating writing still manages to top the Fake News Article of the Month list almost every issue. At least I’m doing something right. Anyway, the Mushroom Kingdom is brimming with interesting programmes tomorrow, so without further ado I’ll introduce my top three shows for tomorrow!

Shy Guy stars as himself in Shy Biker, tomorrow at 9.30pm on the Party Channel.

New: Shy Biker
Party Channel, 9.30pm
Genre: Comedy-drama
Shy Biker is an amusing story brought to you by up-and-coming star Shy Guy, who stars as a fictionalised version of himself who enters a motorcycle race despite not actually knowing how to drive a motorcycle. The eight-part series documents his journey to compete in the race and claim victory. Both humorous and oddly inspiring.

Yoshi’s Wildlife World couples images of Fish Bones with amazing narration, tomorrow at 6pm.

Yoshi’s Wildlife World: Aquatic Edition
MKBC2, 6pm
Genre: Wildlife programme
Yoshi’s Wildlife World makes a triumphant return to MKBC2 with the Aquatic Edition. The third episode, focusing on the oft-forgotten Fish Bones, airs tomorrow, and once again Yoshi’s extravagant and enrapturing presentation style really helps to enhance an already brilliant look at the biological mysteries of the Mushroom Kingdom’s oceanic depths.

Daisy will look to lead her team to victory in the live match tomorrow on MKBC Sports.

Baseball Live from Mario Stadium
MKBC Sports, 3pm
Genre: Baseball
A competitive baseball match takes place at Mario Stadium tomorrow between the Daisy Flowers and the DK Wilds. The Daisy Flowers have been having a run of good form recently - their eponymous captain especially - but can they keep that up? It will be an enthralling game, and MKBC Sports will be reporting on it all afternoon.

The summer always brings in new television spectacles in the Mushroom Kingdom, and I heartily encourage you to look beyond my choices. You might just find something surprisingly good. Then again, you might end up on one of those infomercial-filled shopping channels run by Wario and Waluigi, so perhaps it’s best if you trust me for now. See you in July!

Selling Out

Written by: Raregold (talk)

Selling Out Issue XIII: Becoming the Realest in Estate Dealing

From the Author

Hey everyone so I have an important announcement to make. This is the penultimate issue of Selling Out and the section will conclude in August. After thinking on it, while I have enjoyed this section it is getting a little stale and I would like to end on a note where quality is not severely compromised. Worry not though. I will still be working on ‘Shroom Recap and hopefully two smaller sections by the start of next year!

Introduction

Realah T. would like to impart one last bit of advice to her fans. Since she won’t be here to give you real estate advice she will teach you how to join the real estate business and do something in a world full of Propah T.’s and their lackeys.

Now you like Link from the Legend of Zelda can finally get into other people’s homes without them asking any questions.
Getting Started

There are some minimum requirements to start being a real estate agent. Most of these are age and education requirements. You will need to be a legal adult and possess a high school diploma or GED. Keep in mind though that these will vary from state to state and may not be exactly the same as what is listed here.

Education

Each state has requirements on a number of pre-licensing instruction hours that will need to be received in order to proceed in the application process. Many states vary from 40 to 60 as is the case with Massachuttess and Arkansas respectively. Though others, like California which requires 135 hours, will fall outside of this range.

In addition to pre-licensing hours some states also require continuing education for agents in order to keep their license active and valid’ Kansas for example requires its agents to take 12 hours of courses in order to be eligible for renewal.

The Exam

All state programs require potential agents to pass an exam in order to receive their license. These scores also vary and can be overall percentages or passing a certain number of questions per section such as Alaska which requires 70% for salespersons and Virginia which requires 56/80 questions on the national portion and 30/40 on the state portion of the exam.

Funding is a very important part of any business endeavor!
Further Tips

After getting your license you will typically be required to have experience before you can set up your own firm. Working in a licensed practice will be a useful way to go about this. And while on the job it is important to consider another factor. Savings.

As commissions do not come regularly for most agents, it will be important to have the necessary funds to be able to survive between closings and the sudden influx of cash from that big check cut just for you. Budgeting skills and other means of fiscal responsibility will be extremely helpful while starting out.

Finally, in order to establish yourself well within your local area it will help to keep up to date on all the happenings nearby as well as any new laws or regulations that are passed, This and honest and friendly dealings will help get you started in the wonderfully bizarre world of property sales.

Closing Remarks

Though this is far from a comprehensive guide it will help you get an idea of the very involved licensing process that comes with being involved in real estate. For more information please contact local agents in your area for any questions as they will likely be up to date on any information concerning the profession and be able to provide details this guide can not.

Realah T. is signing off for the second to last time. Bon Voyage!
The 'Shroom: Issue 147
Staff sections Staff NotesThe 'Shroom SpotlightPoll Chairperson Election
Features Fake NewsFun StuffPalette SwapPipe PlazaCritic CornerStrategy Wing
Specials Community Awards Dossier

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