The 'Shroom:Issue XCII/Fake News
Welcome to November's edition of the Fake News! November 2013, to be specific! What have you done? You've sent us all back in time. I told you not to pull the lever. Why didn't you listen? Why did you pull the lever? What were you thinking?
Of course, if we weren't in 2013 (please go with me on this), I would be able to tell you that Hypnotoad (talk) and Ask Anton won October's Section of the Month with 23 votes. But I can't now. Thanks a lot. You've ruined The 'Shroom.
*and then the time subplot immediately solved itself*
Many racing enthusiasts were disappointed this month as new driver Link was killed in a heroic battle, meaning that he will be unable to participate in the races, which is a shame seeing as racers can survive lava, drowning, falling off bottomless pits, and the devil cows. The fight took place on a moving train, which authorities had declared unsafe for combat, something that these fighters never take into account. The conductor of the train is being questioned for allowing the illegal fight to happen, however, the train-line is still open as some guy said "Don't worry, leave it to me."
Hyrule entered a state of mourning, up until the point they realised that the legend meant that a new Link would be coming along shortly. Many people who knew the deceased were difficult to contact, due to differing timeframes and dimensions, however, we did track down some, like Princess Zelda who said "It is an awful shame to lose Link, he wasn't that bad-looking, I mean he was a valiant hero who deserved a lot better." We also spoke to someone else who was knowledgeable on the deceased, his name was Not Ganondorf "That little pest was always interfering with what was right, and he did some many dastardly things, shot arrows into Gohma’s eyes, and worst of all killed that pleasant fellow, Ganondorf."
It seems that the hero of Hyrule wasn't always the hero he set out to be, but it is clear that he will be missed deeply by those he didn't stick a sword into. Many competitors in the Smash Bros. tournament said that they were heartbroken at his death, and then quickly pointed the finger at other fighters to blame them for this death. The police have arrested close to fifty people in connection including a very pale woman, a ninja frog, a a pint-sized captain and a blue hedgehog who took a while to arrest.
Thanks MeerkatMario (talk) (Forum profile) and our various anonymous askers for asking more questions, and our readers for reading! If you seek my flawless advice, or wonder how I can perform various actions in text-format as if physics is just a clay play-thing, please send questions to me on the forum, find me in chat, or if you don't care about anonymity post them on my talk page!
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