The 'Shroom:Issue LXVIII/Fake News
Hey guys, it's MCD, and welcome again to the REAL News. What, you were expecting the Fake News? Get with the times, old timer. Fake News is so last year, Real News is what everybody's* talking about. So let's see what's been going on this month with the real news.
Obama won something
MarioWiki Presidential Election
The D Key
*by "everybody" i mean "maybe tucayo?" ([21:34] <Tucayo> Can we have a hot weather forecaster? If we can, I'm in)
Since some people want Fake News, you can have these sections some people sent to me. Who are these people, you ask? I DON'T KNOW!
*bursts into tears*
But we do have the small matter of the Section of the Month to deal with - and, this month, it went to Koopa K (talk)'s Shop Scout with 25 votes. Koohitsu's Monthly Inquisition came close behind (23 votes), and that was followed by Toadbert's Ads, with 19 votes. Congratulations!
“This just in from the Mushroom Kingdom: The long forgotten King Toadstool has returned. For more on this incredible development we go live to Scoops McShroom”
“Well folks, what started as a normal day quickly turned exciting when after 30 years a door opened and out walked King Toadstool. This quickly sparked shock from those who were at the castle. And while I weren’t able to reach the King himself for comments, I was able to talk to those who saw him"
“It was amazing! I mean here I am just guarding the vault and then out steps the King Himself! Hell, I didn’t even know we had a king” said the Vault Guard.
“I was just standing there cooking when a man wearing a big crown asked me how I was doing” said Chef Torte.
“I couldn’t believe my eyes. I mean I, like most people, thought he was just a myth. I mean nobody had ever seen him so we always assumed that Princess Peach was in charge” said the King's Royal Adviser.
“So as you can see the King returning is very big news. But it does leave you questioning: Where has he been for all these years, and why hasn’t anybody seen him?” Scoops said.
“I can answer that”
“OMG the King Himself! Hello my majesty”
“Hello, kind sir”
“My liege, where have you been all these years?”
“I’ve been doing my job making sure this kingdom stays a float while my daughter gets kidnapped and plays Tennis”
“Oh…and there you have it folks from the King himself. Now back to the studio for sports with Jim Fungi”
Oh, too long?
Hello, ladies and gents - it's Pryers on a Row, back with some more Travel Guide! I've been grounded - er, no, busy hunting stickers, so sorry for being late to Cirque de humus or whatever that show is called. Because the Fake News is the greatest show on earth!
Oh, whatever. Today, I'll be reviewing the Bouquet Gardens! This flowery grassland is filled with...flowers. When I made it to this blustery hill, I found a giant fan was blowing stuff all over the place. I was too lazy to shut it off, and I heard later that Mario shut it off anyways. Good ol' Mario.
The prices here to stay for the night are pretty expensive - a whopping nothing.
(Kersti: COINS ARE EASY TO GET NOWADAYS HOW CAN THAT BE A LOT)
However, the risks are low - unlike Plack Beach, you have a 98% chance of being attacked by a Goomba rather than a 99% chance of being attacked by a Toothy. And either way, the government blew up Plack Beach anyways. Apparently, there was a virus there.
Hah hah! Dr. Mario humor lol
Enough with the bad jokes. You can pull off stickers galore, and they're everywhere. No, seriously, EVERYWHERE! However, the stickers got stuck to me and I had to find the fan to blow them off.
So, that's it for Travel Guide! See you next time, where we explore further into Sticker Star, but I'm still on World 1.
Hi everybody! Your hostess, Chivi-chivik, is back! And this is Cooking Guide, where we teach you how to cook excellent dishes!!
This time I went to Saffron’s. Long time I don’t go to see her.
Saffron: Okay, we’ve got a delicius chocolate cream! Let’s leave it in the pan and let’s take the Peachy Peach, we must cut it into pieces. *begins to cut*
Effects: Restores HP.
Thanks for being here reading, and until next Cooking Guide!!
Hello, readers! McZaky29 here with the November edition of Sports Report!
Today I’m going to take you inside some good ‘ol basketball. The matchup this time was between the Moleville Moles and the Bean Valley Stingers (the game taking place in Moleville). The Moles got possession first, driving to the net for a lay-up, taking the first lead 2-0. Things went downhill from there, though. The Stingers turned things around full circle, quickly amounting to a 20-2 lead with still 5 minutes in the first quarter. The Moles would knock down a 3-pointer, and the Stingers would get some more points in many ways, taking a 29-5 lead at the end of the first. Moleville took advantage of their first possession of the second quarter, pounding down a slam dunk. The Moles stole the ball from the Stingers before they could score again, swishing a teardrop 3. Moleville held Bean Valley only to 5 points in the second quarter, tying it up at 34 going into halftime. That’s when things got out of hand.
The Moles, once again, drove straight to the net first thing of the half. However, it bounced off the rim, with Bean Valley recovering and going all the way to the other end of the court to take the lead back. When Moleville tried to score, a pass to the Moles point guard was intercepted and turned into 3 Bean Valley points. The Stingers continued to rack up points constantly, outscoring The Moleville Moles 58-7 in the second half. Bean Valley won by a final tally of 92-41 in the season opener of the basketball season, which is likely a sign of good things to come, despite Moleville ending last season with a 1-81 record. Well, that’s all for this month! Come back next time for more heated rivalries and heart-stopping games. McZaky29, signing off.
We Interrupt your Clearly Unnecessary Program for this Weather Forecast! Yay!
Hey Marioverse! There may be some cool fronts coming your way! Oh yes!
Ah, but you lucky ducks, or bullies in some aspects, in the southern regions are staying very nice and warm!
And then for you indecisive Marioversers, we have that one place...
That's all for this broadcast. Now back to your meaningless regular programming!
HI, curious readers! I'm your wild Statistics Manager, Tucayo, and welcome to Ask Tucayo! This month I got six questions, thanks to everyone who submitted a question, I am happy with this outcome. If you didn't submit a question (or if you want to submit another one), just send me a PM (magical thing, PM's) and I'll answer it on the next issue!
Let's get to work; this month's first two questions come from Bowser45 who asks: