Shitamachi Ninjō Gekijō
Shitamachi Ninjō Gekijō (下町人情劇場, literally "Lower-City Empathy Theater"; also more commonly known as "Lily Franky Theater") is an official Nintendo-licensed "virtual magazine" for the Super Famicom's Satellaview peripheral. The series was conceived by Japanese humorist Lily Franky. In the magazine, many vulgarities occur, such as smoking, oral sex, and Mario killing Princess Peach and Toad. The ROM for this magazine is currently lost. The number of broadcasts is unknown, though seven episodes are currently known to exist; six of them are the August 15, 1995 broadcast, the August 29, 1995 broadcast, the November 10, 1995 broadcast, the November 17, 1995 broadcast, the February 20, 1996 broadcast, and the March 30, 1996 broadcast.
This "virtual magazine" is a slideshow that has three options. progresses to the next slide while goes back to the previous slide. exits from the slideshow.
August 15, 1995
In a "Special Summer Program", Mario and Toad receive a photo from a female fan (with her face crossed out). Mario has no opinion on the woman's figure, while Toad is fascinated by her breasts. The woman's letter mentions she has no previous boyfriend, which causes Mario to panic. Toad comments he would "like more boobs" in his life, but Mario dissuades him by saying he's going to get himself killed. The letter then mentions the womans loves "xxx", a statement that shocks Mario and Toad.
The episode ends with an invitation to send photos or recommendations to an address in Jingūmae for Mario and Toad to critique. It is unknown if any more episodes were made in this format.
August 29, 1995
The broadcast starts as, in a dark forest, Mario orders Toad to kill a person with a butter knife. The person escapes and Mario chastizes Toad. The victim, revealed to be Bowser, meets a police officer to report the crime. The officer finds an item that Toad dropped (the Satellaview's BS-X cartridge) and Bowser speculates that it may indicate the killer is a fashion model, although the policeman is unconvinced. Bowser then finds the butter knife and speculates that the culprit may be a performer, but the police officer is again unsure.
November 10, 1995
In this broadcast, Mario and Toad are in jail for a stay of about 20 years. Toad, who is 15 years old, is nervous about staying for 20 years since this will cause them to be 35 by their 2015 release. Mario decides to break out of prison and pulls a spoon out of his rear end, which smells like feces. The floor is made of concrete, so Mario tells Toad to dig with his hands. The recorded broadcast ends here, but the plot is continued in the next broadcast.
The radio hosts during the intro also announce the release of Romancing SaGa 3.
November 17, 1995
This broadcast continues the plot of the November 10, 1995 broadcast. Mario pulls a drill from his scrotum, and breaks through the concrete with the drill. Toad gets worried because they are taking a long time to dig outside of jail. Mario explains that he will keep digging until they reach daylight. As they eventually make it outside of the jail, they find out they have ended up in Brazil. Toad is worried because he does not know anything about Brazil, but Mario is happy to relax there.
February 20, 1996
- “Indeed, I am the richest person in the world, Bill Gates!”
- —Bill Gates, Shitamachi Ninjō Gekijō
In this broadcast, Mario and Toad are having an argument over who should be first to ride the Windows 95 (which they believe to be a vehicle). Bill Gates then makes an entrance. Toad says that Bill Gates is a "beer company poster girl" (a pun on the very similar writing of "beer" and "bill" in Japanese writing), but Gates informs Toad that he is wrong. Mario then recognizes the man to be Bill Gates and he and Toad ask him for money. Bill Gates stares at them blankly, but then informs them that the Windows 95 is not a vehicle, but something to wear on one's head. Mario and Toad insult him, telling him he is an idiot.
The release date of this broadcast is unknown.
The broadcast starts with a backstory:
In a low-lying part of a heartwarming city, Mario works as a plumber.
One day, an employee from another shop announces they have been made Mario's wife.
Due to the shock of the townspeople, Mario hides himself away from public.
Princess Peach and Toad are sitting together, wondering where Mario went. Toad says he wonders where the boss is, and Peach exclaims that he is a good-for-nothing jerk. The next scene shows Toad convincing Peach to engage in oral sex, and Peach agrees. Mario suddenly appears, and Peach and Toad jump back in shock. Toad says to Mario that he was very worried about him, but in his rage, Mario jumps up and kills Toad by squishing him. Peach says, "Darling, give me a break already — my heart was yearning for you." Mario is still completely outraged, so he crouches before jumping up and killing Peach, leaving them both for dead. Mario then pulls out a cigarette and says that he just got a new girlfriend. What appear to be the ghosts of Peach and Toad fly in, exclaiming that they are very surprised. Mario's new girlfriend is revealed to be Bowser, at which Toad and Peach are very shocked. The broadcast ends here.
March 30, 1996 (final broadcast)
The final broadcast starts with Mario making an important announcement to Toad: he reveals that he is actually an alien from the "Shinjuku Bare Crotch Heavenly Star" (a pun on an infamous Japanese red light district) and that he must return to his home planet. Mario thanks his friends for everything, but they are all displeased with him, with Peach and Bowser yelling at him to get out while Luigi and Toad complain about Mario owing them debts. Seeing everyone's reaction, Mario decides to delay his departure, to Bowser's annoyance. The narration then notes that Mario's building firm thrived for a long time, and that Toad ended up being paid three yen a day.
The next segment is hand-drawn in a vague, abstract style. It stars a man who, based on his appearance, is presumably supposed to be Shitamachi Ninjō Gekijō. The man picks up a game controller and starts controlling Mario. The man then arrives in the depths of Hell abruptly. Finally, the man has sex with a lobster.
Bill Gates, portrayed by a Bakabon plush, makes his entrance.
- Cabbusses's Retro Obscurities (July 6, 2020) Kukun kun kut - Mario and Toad's Shady Search (from Natsuyasumi no Ousama 1995/08/15)
- Cabbusses's Retro Obscurities (April 5, 2021). kukun kun kut - kukun kun kut - Mario, Toad, Bowser, and the BS-X with a weird label.. YouTube. Retrieved April 5, 2021.
- Cabbusses's Retro Obscurities (January 17, 2019). kukun kun kut - Mario and Toad's Spoon (Lilly Franky Gekijou 11/10). YouTube. Retrieved July 17, 2019.
- Cabbusses's Retro Obscurities (January 15, 2019). kukun kun kut - Mario and Toad's Drill Adventure (Lilly Franky Gekijou 11/17). YouTube. Retrieved July 17, 2019.
- Cabbusses's Retro Obscurities (January 30, 2019). kukun kun kut - Mario and Toad Use Windows 95? (Lilly Franky 2/20/1996). YouTube. Retrieved March 29, 2019.
- Cabbusses's Retro Obscurities (February 7, 2019) kukun kun kut - "Bye Bye Lilly Franky Theater"? YouTube. Retrieved September 22, 2020.
- Cabbusses's Retro Obscurities (July 26, 2019) This won't fool anyone, will it? YouTube. Retrieved September 22, 2020.