Hello, and welcome back to the Fake News! First of all, I'd like to thank Hypnotoad (talk) for the new banner at the top of this section. It was included in his Awards presentation for S2: Favourite Team. You know, that award the Fake News won? Remember? How I wo- I mean, uh, how we won?
In terms of staff changes, Lord Bowser (talk) has been fired from writing the Monthly Inquisition due to inactivity.
August's section of the month went to Yoshi876 (talk) and the Obituaries, with 20 votes! Congratulations!
The Mushroom Kingdom, huh? Wrong place? Ah, thanks for clearing that up. Dream Land was struck by tragedy as its hero, Kirby, died from a heart attack after learning that he had won A19: Favourite Smash Bros. character; it also didn’t help that he had large amounts of cholesterol in his system, those Waddle Doos, and Waddle Dees, and Bronto Burts, and Cappies, and Plasma Wisps, and Knuckle Joes are nightmares on that front.
A nightmare for the body, and quite spicy too
The citizens of Dream Land went into a deep mourning, apart from King Dedede who was delighted that he no longer needed another monster to clobber that there Kirby. Meta Knight was asked to comment, but we were informed that he had been banned from commenting as his comments put others to shame. Other citizens rejoiced at this turn of events as they no longer had to worry about Kirby coming along and eating them. Various Smash Bros. competitors expressed deep sadness at the loss of one of their combatants, most notably Jigglypuff, when we went for a comment she just sang and I felt incredibly sleepy. When I awoke she was gone, and my face had been drawn on, in permanent marker.
In the aftermath, King Dedede and Meta Knight have been removed from Smash Bros. as they no longer have the star of their series, King Dedede was vocally annoyed at this. The population of Dream Land has also been on the rise now that their largest predator has been taken out of the food chain. However, this has had a negative effect as it has allowed Dream Land to create a large enough army to take over neighbouring kingdoms, and I now owe King Dedede my salary, luckily the joke’s on him, I don’t get one.