Hey, and welcome to the Fake News, which I'm gonna be honest here I kinda forgot about because of the Awards and whatnot. But don't worry, I'm sure pretty much everyone else didn't! I hope.
While we're on the subject of the Awards, thanks for voting for Fake News as Favourite Sub-Team again! Yes, all 13 of you. While I'm here, thanks for voting me as Favourite Veteran Writer as well even though I've written about three sections this year. Either way, congratulations to everyone who won something or came close to doing so.
Our Section of the Month for July went to me (MrConcreteDonkey (talk)) and my Shop Scout, for some reason, with 30 votes.
It is important during Summer to remember to not leave electrical objects running as they may overheat, and cause fires in small amusement parks. Unfortunately, this is what happened to Monita, sort of, as she overheated causing her to power down permanently. Monita was discovered in the Luigi's Ghost Mansion attraction by several players who’d snuck in after hours to do *REMOVED FOR SEVERAL POTENTIALLTY LAWBREAKING REASONS*.
Many people were saddened by this sudden death, most of all was Prince Monita who discovered that his Princess had died alongside Monita. “This is simply terrible” he stated, before shutting down due to high temperatures. The Yoshi Carts that trundle along also expressed their sadness at her death, before punching a prospective Mario right in the face. Attractions where Monita played a big role like in Pikmin Adventure, or Takamaru’s Ninja Castle have closed down for a while, but don’t worry you can still do Octopus Dance, what do you mean that’s not a good thing?
The people of Nintendo Land have entered a state of mourning for her, however this has proven difficult due to the joyous music that is continuously playing. Another obstacle in the way of the mourning is that many of the fun games don’t need Monita at all so people still laugh when they play those. Many people feel that with Monita dead the park can get safer. One park inspector complained about the possible rise of a robot army, god knows where he got that idea from. Another one was saying how it might mean that the train which goes round the park may fall into disuse, especially as three park guests fell off it the other day. Also, one lucky obituary writer person found out that a used Monita is worth a mint on eBay.