The 'Shroom:Issue LVI/Fake News
Hello, and welcome again to the Fake News! Don't worry, this section is as fun-packed (wait that's Gamefreak's thing), I mean music-and-artwork-packed (no, that's Fawfulfury's), uhh, I mean, pipe-packed (THAT'S MG1'S D:)...uhhh, fake-packed(?) as usual!
But we'll start off with some sad news. Gamefreak75 (talk), who has been writer of the Fake Ads for 2 years this month, will be resigning this month. To celebrate his long, wonderful Fake News career, I will buy the only Brick Block he's ever sold:
not really get that thing away from me
He won't be completely gone, however, as he assures me he'll be writing for the Fake Report/News Flush (which may I add is precisely not what to do with any newspapers brought into any bathrooms, for that matter) sometimes, so that's great. But now some good news Baby Mario Bloops (talk) has been hired for the Fake Interview, which he used to write up until a few months ago, so congrats to him in his new position!
So, enjoy the section!
Written by: MrConcreteDonkey (talk)
Many sport-loving Toads are going to tune in on Monday to the first show of the second series of Mush of the Day, a show that sums up all of the week's scores nobody knows why it says "day" and interviews some of the sportsmen and sportswomen. So I hope you've got your pop corn for sports, because this show has it all! Want to catch up on the Bobsleighing results? Then you're crazy. The show is on 'Shroom Sports 1 at 8:00pm, on Monday 21st November.
The show's presenter is called Sport T., and was an ex-soccer player for Toad Town. The main game the show covers is soccer, so he is handy when it comes to remembering about 50% of the rules correctly. The week is full of sporting action: in the soccer, Mushroom City Mushrooms will face City Mushroom Cities on Saturday. In the football, the Koopa Kingdom will thrash, I mean, face the Toad Town "Titans(!)". In the Table Tennis, Toady McToad will face Ronald McDonald on Sunday, and Sport T. will be interviewing Ronald McDonald, or at least trying to, while Ronald talks about his restaurant, KF- I mean Burger King. When questioned about the interview, Mr. McRonald Donald or whatever said "Ran ran ru!!", which I'm guessing means "Ran ran ru!!".
I'm not a fan of sports, but, if you are, then this is the show for you. The show summarizes all of the matches in the week. All of them. The presenter tries to make jokes all the time, but usually nobody finds them funny. Especially considering it's the same joke each time. But tune in. Remember, 'Shroom Sports 1 at 8:00pm on Monday! See you next month!
Written by: Gamefreak75 (talk)
After a year in the making, I can finally reveal my ultimate product: the NASTY CLIMATE SATELLITE, which is totally not a rip-off of the Wicked Weather Machine.
This weapon is one of a kind…because there is only one of it. As you can tell, this machine uses only the best products while it was being made.
It's made with the finest in scrap metal and other reusable parts. The NCS's radar is powered by a Gameboy Color while its interior is made out of household appliances.
This will help you achieve you goals of conquering any land, be it the Mushroom Kingdom or Diamond City, this machine is sure to not fail you, as it did to me…*sigh*
You can turn up the heat to make any place a scorching desert, or play it cool and make every city have its ice age. The choices are yours.
I know what you're think, “Wow! This machine is made with dishwasher safe products and heatproof plastic? This man would be insane to not charge a fortune.”
Luckily, I am insane. The NCS is yours for only 100,000 coins. Get it will supply lasts!
But after 2 years, my career is over. My pockets have run dry and my products have gone bad. It seems like only yesterday when I tried to sell you suckers a Cloud Flower or Brick Blocks.
Pick up a Brick Block on your way out! Only 10 coins!
Written by: Baby Mario Bloops (talk)
Long time no see right? Well, you see...Baby Mario Bloops goes on a five hour rant about some lame story about how he sneezed and ended up in China or some shenanigans of some sort and put of Pyroguy when he came back and wha wha wha wha...and that is how I am back here. Sorry to not tell the full story, but I didn't want to waste too much time.
Well, as I said, I - Baby Mario Bloops - am back! Let's do our first guest our right away! Anyways, he is bad to the bones, is bomb-intolerant, and has a knack for death. Give it up for Dry Bones! Let's get to it...
Baby Mario Bloops: Well, welcome Dry Bones, what's up?
Dry Bones - Crackle crackle.
Baby Mario Bloops: What? "You like to drool?"
Dry Bones: Crackle Crackle!
Baby Mario Bloops: Oh, "I am good!" Okay, that makes more sense.
Dry Bones: Crackle.
Baby Mario Bloops: You're welcome
Dry Bones: ...
Baby Mario Bloops: Oh yeah, sorry, still getting used to this again. So is it true that in your past life you were a Koopa?
Dry Bones: Crack Cracken!
Baby Mario Bloops: What, "what do you think I am, a Goomba?" Is that sarcasm!?
Dry Bones: Cra Cra Ca!
Baby Mario Bloops: Stop laughing! Okay, now that we have that settled, what is your opinion of your boss Bowser?
Dry Bones: Crackle Crack Cracken Cra Crack!
Baby Mario Bloops: "He selfish, cruel, and overrated for even his current status?" Oh wow, I couldn't agree more. So then what do you think of Mario?
Dry Bones: Crackle Crack Crack Crapple!
Baby Mario Bloops: "He's a no-good, self-centered piece of cr-" HEY! I'm not to going to swear live just to translate you!
Dry Bones: Fine then, I'm leaving...leaves the room...
Baby Mario Bloops: That little pile of bones...well, that's the last time I translate for people like him. Well, we'll see you all next month!
Written by: MST3K (talk) (usually)
- witty intro that you love*
Only 2 this week. I have had next to no time to work on this this week and it shows. First from community veteran DP, who asks:
Out of all the world's many cultures, which one would you most like to see explored as a video game concept?
Had the Red Dead games never came out, I would've said the Old West.
How's being In Charge of the Forum turning out for you? - MrConcreteDonkey
Can't say it's any different than it's been for the past year or so. Same sh*t, different position.
Wow, that was bad. Go read another section or something