The 'Shroom:Issue 212/Critic Corner
Director's Notes
Happy November, everyone! 'Tis the season to be thankful, as in America it's Thanksgiving in just a few days! If you don't live in America then I guess you don't have to be thankful for anything! We here at Critic Corner will be thankful enough for you all, thankful for your continued support as you read our sections month after month, commenting and interacting and just taking the time to relax with some critical thoughts. Thank you!
Thank you for voting Half-Baked Reviews as October's Critic Corner Section of the Month!! Be sure to give your love to all of our sections here, and give a shout out to our writers whether in chat or in their forum threads dedicated to their sections. Be sure to vote vote vote!
And now for my regular announcements: We've decided to implement in Critic Corner something similar to News Flush over in Fake News, where no formal sign-up application process is required for one-time or limited sections. From now on if you just want to send in a single review for something you just read, watched played, tried, whatever, you just have to send me your review privately either to me directly in chat, or in a message to me on the forum at least one week before each 'Shroom is to be released! There's no commitment or obligation to provide a full monthly section (although you absolutely can shift it into one if you so choose), just send us your thoughts on a thing and we'll feature it here! If you have any questions or curiosities about this, please feel free to ask!
As always, if you would like to help Critic Corner, we always have openings for more writers! You are free to write for sections such as Character Review and Movie Review, or really anything you'd like to do! There's no pressure to have a huge section; they can be shorter and concise! The application process is very simple, starting with reading the Sign Up page, and sending your application to Meta Knight on the forum. Any idea you have is welcome, and if you have any questions or need help signing up, please feel free to reach out to myself or other 'Shroom peeps!
Section of the Month
| CRITIC CORNER SECTION OF THE MONTH | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Place | Section | Votes | % | Writer |
| 1st | Anton's Half-Baked Reviews | 18 | 66.67% | Hypnotoad (talk) |
| 2nd | A Paper Mario: The Origami King Review | 3 | 11.11% | Paper Plumm (talk) |
| 2nd | The Peanuts Sessions | 3 | 11.11% | Waluigi Time (talk) |
A Final Paper Mario: The Origami King Review
Written by: Paper Plumm (talk)
You know, in retrospect I kinda should've just made this a three parter. I feel like I've covered most already, although what a time we've had. I will admit, I was unsure how well the reception would be. But to win second in both of the polls so far? Wow! I'm not exactly active on the boards too terribly much so I'm not sure what people's actual thoughts are on my work but, from what it seems I am exceedingly pleased. So thank you for that. Now then, let's talk miscellaneous. Don't expect this to be long, this will mainly cover music although there will be some other bits and bobbles too.
Music
Origami King has a killer soundtrack, I think this is a really positive statement agreed upon, and I am, of course, among those. I hear a lot towards people wishing the games could have Galaxy level soundtracks again. First off, have you listened to some of the recent games' soundtracks? We never left that level of quality. I think Origami King is the best at representing that scale, though. It's all beautifully orchestrated and there are so many great songs. Its striving for grandness, however, is a double edged sword. Oftentimes, a lot of the songs get so caught in themselves they lose memorability and a distinctive identity. For example, this game's boss themes. None of them truly stand out from each other. They're great songs, mind you, but they all use the hard rock aesthetic and do not have strong melodies.
Miscellaneous
Prepare for a rapid fire round. It's gonna be intense, you might want to sit down, perhaps on a bench? Benches are a thing in this game. They serve as this game's healing points and the first time on each bench offers a little dialogue interaction between Olivia and the partners. I really like these as it shows an extra level of care to something most people wouldn't think to add to, healing spots. Speaking of which, Olivia's hint feature. It's fine enough but doesn't really do anything special. Speed en/dehancing drinks. They are found exclusively in one shop and you can't carry them with you. Don't know why they're here but they are. Vellumental circles are pretty cool but are exclusively used in the story, so they can't really be used to their fullest potential. HP-Up Hearts are now collectible again, yay! These are often found in some really clever overworld spots, and as the name implies, increase your overall HP. I'm glad to see them back.
Paper Mario: The Origami King is many things. It is divisive in almost all of its elements, yet at the same time, it's clear the developers tried so hard with each of these elements. It was a game made with heavy limitations, yet the developers embraced every bit of them. It has one of the most ambitious stories in Mario in a while, which has far more layers than I think most realise. It has a complex battle system, yet its enjoyment is entirely hinged on whether you enjoy sliding block puzzles. Its overworld and soundtrack are grandiose, yet their ambition sometimes hampers the overall experience. Yet despite it all, I love this game. The battles are fresh and complex, the soundtrack is great, its story is interesting and its worlds are a blast to explore. Cheers! Cheers to one of the best Paper Mario games, no, one of the best RPGs I have ever experienced.
Brothership just got released, while I am not sure what the reception will be, I feel like it will be positive. It has a much more approachable battle system and one that doesn't have as many flaws. At least, that your average consumer would note. So it's clear that Paper Mario now has some competition. I've discussed before that Origami King and TTYD are competing for the new viable model for the series' future as well as to compete with M&L. And to my pleasant surprise, it looks like Origami King, despite it all, is winning. Obviously, more time is still on the way so I'm unsure if that even means anything at all. But, at least for now, Paper Mario has a bright new future ahead rather than being hindered by its past. I likened modern Paper Mario to Wind Waker in my first review, but I never really described the story's end, did I? Following its trilogy's end, a few years down the line it was decided to create a new game. This would be one that would completely shake up the formula, instead of using any of the classic titles as its base, Wind Waker was chosen. The game I'm referring to is, of course, Breath of the Wild. A game completely unlike anything else in Zelda, but with Wind Waker as its base. And years later, Wind Waker was finally realised for what it started and is now in a much more positive light. So, perhaps my optimism is speaking here, but expect Paper Mario 6 to be unlike anything in this series but building off what made Origami King so great. Or who knows, we could just get Twilight Princess, something the fans want but is not what the fans need. TTYD 2, perhaps?
I got to say, this has been a blast making these reviews. I'm not sure what I'll make next, but I definitely want to keep making stuff for The 'Shroom. Expect something new soon. Before I conclude, I want to thank a few people for making this review possible. Firstly, Meta Knight who accepted me onto this team, as well as Anton for hosting such a great corner for all us critics. Also, congrats on 100 issues of running this! Lastly, a big thank you to Waluigi Time who reviewed these reviews for any errors and whose very subtle suggestion in Pipe Plaza encouraged me to make this review in the first place. Lastly, this will be my final reminder about my Scissors bounty. If no one does it by my next article, I will speedrun through the game and find it myself, so no worries on leaving it unresolved. May Autumn's Encore find you well and as always, drive safely.
The Peanuts Sessions
Written by: Waluigi Time (talk)
Hello there, 'Shroom readers, and welcome back to The Peanuts Sessions. This month I'll be taking a look at the soundtrack to A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving, because we have to keep the holiday thematics rolling (apologies to the non-Americans reading this section). Released in 2023, it's the second of the newly remastered albums, following up Great Pumpkin and succeeded by Short Summer. You know the drill, if you want to listen the official YouTube playlist is right here!
| # | Title | Time |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Charlie Brown Blues | 1:26 |
| 2 | Thanksgiving Theme | 0:10 |
| 3 | Thanksgiving Theme (Reprise) | 1:49 |
| 4 | Peppermint Patty | 3:28 |
| 5 | Little Birdie | 3:12 |
| 6 | Thanksgiving Interlude | 0:30 |
| 7 | Is It James Or Charlie? | 2:19 |
| 8 | Linus And Lucy | 4:14 |
| 9 | Fife & Drums Theme | 1:45 |
| 10 | Charlie Brown Blues (Reprise) | 2:30 |
| 11 | Thanksgiving Interlude (Reprise) | 0:16 |
| 12 | Thanksgiving Theme (2nd Reprise) | 1:58 |
| 13 | Thanksgiving Theme (3rd Reprise) | 0:48 |
| 14 | Thanksgiving Theme (Alternate) | 0:10 |
| 15 | Peppermint Patty (Bonus Mix) | 2:06 |
| 16 | Linus And Lucy (Bonus Mix) | 4:19 |
| 17 | Thanksgiving Interlude (Alternate Take 2, 4 and 6) | 1:15 |
| 18 | Thanksgiving Interlude (Alternate Take 10) | 0:27 |
| 19 | Thanksgiving Interlude (Alternate Take 14) | 0:27 |
| 20 | Is It James Or Charlie? (Bonus Mix With Whistling) | 2:26 |
| 21 | Clark And Guaraldi | 2:00 |
By the time A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving came out in 1973, Vince Guaraldi was experimenting with a funkier sound and electric instruments on the Peanuts soundtracks, so we have an interesting mix here. "Thanksgiving Theme" and the new arrangement of "Charlie Brown Blues" wouldn't be too out of place with the more traditional smooth jazz of the 1960s specials, and of course we have a new arrangement of "Linus And Lucy" as well, but then you have tracks like "Is It James Or Charlie?" and a new arrangement of "Peppermint Patty" that take inspiration from musicians like James Brown and Stevie Wonder. And of course, I would be remiss not to mention "Little Birdie", Woodstock's de facto theme featuring vocals from Guaraldi. For my favorite here, I think I'm going to have to go with "Peppermint Patty". Usually it's a more energetic track, fitting for its namesake, but here we have a really chill, funky arrangement and it just kind of works. Honorable mentions to "Thanksgiving Theme", particularly the 2nd and 3rd reprises, and "Linus And Lucy".
The bonus tracks are, as you can probably guess by now, all alternate takes, with one exception. "Clark And Guaraldi" is a recording of a jam session between Guaraldi and Mike Clark, the drummer on this album. "Thanksgiving Interlude" appears several times, and if the track titles are to be believed, there were at least 14 takes of this one! Only 5 of them made it to the final album, so I guess either the quality was poor or the performance was unsalvageable for the other ones.
I've already said that Great Pumpkin is my favorite album in this section so far, but I think Thanksgiving is the coolest. In the 13 main tracks, there's a decent amount of material here that never made it to the TV special. It really feels like you're getting a proper extended experience, compared to something like Short Summer that was pretty tightly composed to meet the scenes and runtime. I also want to shout out the sound quality on this one. I don't know if it's a better remaster than the other ones or if it was just a long way up from the audio quality on the TV special, maybe some combination of both, but it really stuck out on my first listen of this album.
For the casual listening experience, this one probably scores the highest of the albums I've reviewed so far. The only tracks that feel out of place without context are the superspeed alternate version of "Thanksgiving Theme" on track 14 and the aforementioned "Clark And Guaraldi", but the main tracks are a wholly solid experience for anyone. Although there's a couple on here that are very short, they blend well with the tracks around them so they don't feel like they're just hanging. The only thing I have to dock points on is that, unlike the albums I've reviewed so far, a lot of the tracks kept in Guaraldi's countdowns at the beginning. I think you can either overlook them or you just dislike them, and there's no other options. I'll just say I don't think anything of value would be lost if they were cut. Overall it's a minor gripe on an otherwise solid album, and if it really bothers you, it's a simple audio editing job if you have the tools to do it, at least.
For completion's sake, much like the Short Summer soundtrack, this is missing the purely vocal cast performance of "Over the River and Through the Woods" from the special, and once again I'm not all that concerned about it. The main focus here is appropriately on Guaraldi's compositions, as it should be! There is, however, a strange quirk on this album. The version of "Little Birdie" here is an alternate take that wasn't used in the special, particularly noticeable because of a slight (and more grammatically correct) difference in the lyrics. The take that was actually used doesn't appear anywhere on this album. This was intentional because of quality concerns with the vocal tracks, which is fair I suppose? The original does appear on several compilation albums so it's not like it's unreleased at this point, but it seems unfortunate that the song as heard in the special will apparently never get a proper remaster.
And that wraps up my review! See you next month for another one, and happy Thanksgiving to everyone celebrating!
Graphic Novel Review
| Part of Your World | |
|---|---|
| |
| Author | Liz Braswell, Kelly Matthews |
| Release date | 2023 |
| Genre | Fantasy |
| Pages | 160 |
| Available From | |
Hi, everybody, and welcome back to Graphic Novel Review! This month, I have a twist on an old tale- the graphic novel adaptation of Part of Your World by Kelly Matthews!
This one has a little bit of backstory. The original Part of Your World is part of the Twisted Tales series, a book series that looks at different Disney movies and changes part of their plots to explore new stories. I’ve covered Reflection, the Mulan-inspired book on Book Review before here, but some of the other movies to be twisted include Peter Pan, Aladdin, and Princess and the Frog, to name a few. Today, though, we’re going to focus on The Little Mermaid adaptation, Part of Your World. So far, Twisted Tales has two graphic novel adaptations, this one and a second adapting the book based on Peter Pan, Straight on Till Morning.
Part of Your World asks the question, “What if Ariel wasn’t able to defeat Ursula?” If you’ve watched the original Little Mermaid Disney movie, you know that Ariel and Prince Eric manage to defeat Ursula the sea witch at the end of the movie to get their happily ever after. But in this story, they failed to kill the sea witch and now are forced to live with the consequences of their failure. Ariel, still without her voice, becomes the queen of Atlantica as King Triton is still one of Ursula’s captives, and Eric is put under a spell and is forced to marry Vanessa, who is Ursula in human form. As a human, Vanessa becomes hungry for power, and she starts invading nearby kingdoms to grow her own. One day, a play is put on in the town square, written by Eric, and tells the original story of the mermaid and the prince. An aging Scuttle sees this, and realizes that Eric remembers what happened and this could be the key to overturning everything Ursula has done to them. He sends his granddaughter, Jona, out to sea to inform Ariel of this development, and our story begins from there…
While Part of Your World isn’t my personal favorite of the Twisted Tales stories, I think it is one of the books that works best as an adaptation of the original, in that I could see it playing out like this and that it is also very faithful to the original story. When the graphic novel first came out, I was hesitant to buy it as I thought it was just a ‘part one’ and that the entire book would be covered in multiple volumes, but this is not the case. The entire book is contained in one graphic novel, and a rather skinny one at that, so it should fit well on your shelf. It’s also in full color, which is really nice as well. The art done for this book is well-done. I like the illustrator’s style and grasp of anatomy, and facial expressions and body language are vivid. Chemistry grows between Ariel and Eric as their bitterness fades during their adventure together, and they move into an awkward, hesitant little “trying again” period. The graphic novel does a good job of conveying how Ariel was forced to grow up after the loss of the trident. Ariel is one of my least favorites of the Disney Princesses due to how juvenile and thoughtless some of her actions are, but in this novel, she is forced to mature quite a bit. Her sisters force her into the ruling position of Atlantica, as a way of penance for her involvement in Triton’s disappearance but also because they don’t want to do it, and you can see her resentment at them while she watches them frolic around without responsibilities like she used to. It’s a really great turning point for her character, and I really like it, it makes me appreciate her more. The graphic novel works well as a adaptation of the original novel as well, managing to summarize the story nicely without cutting important parts. Liz Braswell’s Twisted Tales can sometimes run unnecessarily long in my opinion, and this graphic novel is very good at cutting down on fluff and focusing on story beats.
Part of Your World is a strong start to a series of graphic novel adaptations of the Twisted Tales series, and I hope they publish one based on one of my favorites next. The art was lovely and the story doesn’t suffer from poor editing or cutting room decisions. I can give this one two thumbs up, and recommend that you check it out. I’d go so far as to say that you can read the graphic novel over the original novel and not miss out, so if you’re looking for a shorter taste of the Twisted Tales series, this is a good place to jump in and see if you like it.
That’s it for my review for this month, readers! Tune in next time for a fresh book review!
Anything But Pumpkin Spice
Every year, as Fall approaches, news stories start popping up exclaiming that pumpkin spice lattes are available earlier than ever before, store stockrooms start getting their first deliveries of pumpkin spice displays, promotional endcaps start getting coffee creamers and cinnamon buns with vague pumpkin flavoring, everything becomes pumpkin spice. It’s absolutely fun to see the entire commercialized food landscape make quirky shifts into this annual limited flavor, but doesn’t it get boring sometimes? Is there really nothing else out there that grips autumnal feelings by the throat and chokes it out like pumpkin spice? No, honestly, not really, but there’s definitely some contenders that hold their own! Apple, caramel, maple, hazelnut, pear, ginger, cinnamon, cranberry, butterscotch, sweet potato, warm spices, seasonal fruits and vegetables, more and more brands are picking up on this variety to give us something more, something to diversify their inventory and squeeze some more profits out of us, but it’s FUN, it’s DIFFERENT, it’s EXCITING to go around stores and find these items hidden behind the bright orange pumpkin displays. This month I made a point of avoiding pumpkin and pumpkin spice things (except pumpkin pie, which I’ve eaten 7 of at the time of writing this) and grabbed what I could of anything that helped stretch the seasonal definitions back into something as bountiful as the harvest time should be.
Publix Limited Edition Premium Ice Creams
It’s nothing new that large-enough regional grocery retailers will produce unique in-house flavors to embed them into the local culture or ecological niche, or to spur routine excitement and drive sales. Living in Florida, it is Publix I need to deal with, and luckily they have a good tradition of rotating limited time items out with every department each quarter, with old favorites coming back alongside new options, and it’s their limited-time Premium Ice Creams that always gets everyone’s attention.
Snickerdoodle
‘Brown butter ice cream with cinnamon graham crumb swirls and graham cookie pieces’
The brown butter ice cream is what caught me first, with a subtle warm caramelized taste that holds onto the cinnamon flavors well as it permeates through. The graham cookies also retain a good crunch that holds its own and becomes a little hidden bit you find yourself searching for, causing you to eat more and more spoonfuls. The cinnamon swirls appear pretty large in parts, and I was concerned about that, but I think it being cinnamon graham crumb swirls have it harmonizing well. They definitely could’ve gone a more easy and boring route, making just a dull vanilla ice cream with cinnamon sugar swirled in, but I appreciate all of the little things in here that just makes it really good.
Deep Dish Apple Pie
Now hear me out: I do not like apple pie. It’s not so much the flavors as it is the texture of the apples, soft and mushy but still with a bit of give to them; and being served hot just wasn’t appealing. This is probably a lingering effect of being force-fed apple john for years by my grandmother to the point of being beaten if I didn’t finish, but, it’s time to stop letting those things continue to have an effect. Apple pie never did anything to me, and it’s such a classic example of good American food to share with family, and I figured that having it in the form of an ice cream flavor would be fine. The apple-flavored ice cream is nice and subtle, not a sickly candy apple flavor but more like how an actual apple smells. It’s hard to make out any of the pieces within it by just taste and texture; the apple pieces and pie crust are both soft and dissolve within a single chew, and I’m not sure if the brown sugar-cinnamon sauce is meant to be swirled in as heavy ribbons or just blended in because it’s just not there. Don’t take that as much of a complaint, though, as it makes everything mostly homogeneous in flavor and texture, just doesn’t have me seeking out the pieces for interesting bites. The taste is very good, and I wouldn’t shoo this one away if it’s given to me, but if I had a choice I do find the Snickerdoodle more interesting and with both I’d probably just buy the Peppermint Stick over anyways.
Good showings for both of them that inspired confidence in me for their other limited Premium flavors.
Trader Joe’s
On a requested day off of mine I went to a local spooky gay market that certainly lubricated my willingness to spend money. After receiving a text from work that they want me to come in because it’s busy with hurricane panic shoppers and hurricane panic callouts, I decided to live for myself even harder and go out shopping all over the place. Trader Joe’s was one of these places, and, despite it also falling victim to the hordes of panic shoppers buying every SKU of water and toilet paper around as if they didn’t just buy it with Helene literally a week ago, I found parking immediately. This bout of luck traveled with me throughout the store as I discovered many non-pumpkin spice seasonal treats, conservatively grabbing only a few because I could feel the quantity I was eyeing shifting this review towards a solo Trader Joe’s set, after which I was able to get into an empty checkout lane with no problem at all.
Maple Non-Dairy Oat Beverage
After trying enough maple things I think I’m discovering that I just don’t like maple-flavored things much, and I already have a history of not liking oat milk drinks, so I’m not sure what I’m really doing here except, wow! It’s fall! Autumn!! Thank you, Trader Joe’s, for having available a limited seasonal option that’s not just pumpkin spice, so I am here to drink it, give it an honest and fair shot, and tell you about it.
Upon opening it I get a nice waft of sweetened maple smell, that all but totally vanishes once I shake it around and pour it into my glass. I held the sludge right up to my nose and could no longer smell anything after a few seconds, so I’m not sure if it short-circuited my brain or if the fumes were just that ephemeral.
When tasting it, I just get…nothing. There’s a little of that oat taste, a little sweet warmth from something that I’m going to attribute to the maple, but it’s all really so muted and negligible that I just really don’t think this is worth having. At this rate you can just get a regular oat milk, likely in a larger quantity and in a brand you know more about and can trust, and just squirt in maple syrup of your choice like some kind of trad wife Hershey’s chocolate milk.
Rustic Apple Tarte
Made with Northern Spy apples, cream cheese, cinnamon, sugar, with a wheat flour crust, Trader Joe’s Rustic Apple Tarte brings a nice old-fashioned homemade ambiance without all of the dishes. Fully baked but kept frozen, it just needs to be popped out of the box and wrapper and heated at 350F for about 25 minutes. Taking it out of the box it looks pretty small, but it’s quite rich and can comfortably feed four people, which is nice for it being only $4.99. The crust is VERY dry, while the middle is quite damp and mushy leaving the bottom to absolutely get soggy, Mackenzie, if you let it sit on your plate for longer than 10 minutes, with only the shaved almonds helping to give it some textural support. Getting a mouthful of both parts creates a balance, as the folded crust gives nice crunch support, with fantastic apple and cinnamon flavor that’s definitely very sweet, but tempered by the cream cheese into something more rich.
Unfortunately I did not have vanilla ice cream to go with this, as I really think a la mode would’ve made this perfection, but my freezer was already packed with the Publix ice creams and a large bag of ice from hurricane prep that I did not need. I have seen the Rustic Apple Tarte appear over several years seasonally at Trader Joe’s, so if I’ve missed out on it this time I can at least look forward to the next.
Spiced Cider
Spiced with cinnamon, clove, allspice, orange peel, orange oil, and lemon peel, this veers more towards a glühwein or any other standard mulled cider–just missing more divisive spices like ginger or anise.
Honestly, I think there may have been too much spice in it, as I got more of the cinnamon, clove, and allspice forcing their way down my throat before I could ascertain that this was supposed to be apple cider. I let all of the spices settle to the bottom after a day and then purposely did not agitate or shake it, and it did taste pretty good after that which just indicates to me that they went a bit overboard with those. Still, the allspice and clove flavors took a forefront, which I think is interesting as it wasn’t the usual cinnamon. It did have the classic apple cider texture, velvety smooth and rich, and often that’s all I’m really looking for.
As it is spiced cider, I tried it the few other ways you traditionally can. Heating it up in the microwave for 2 minutes changed it for the better; the apple flavor became more pronounced while the spices took a back seat. I also opted to dump in alcohol, specifically trying it with rum and bourbon as I finish off this review hours before it’s due to post to help keep things flowing. Doing so mellowed out the cider’s own strong flavors as they had to now contend with the strong flavors of the liquor. Potent and flavorful, not something to chug, but savor and sip while sinking deeper into couch cushions. Sure, you can drink it cold right from the bottle, but a few tweaks and it becomes so much more.
Liquid Death
A bad boy that has thoroughly shaken things up in the water industry, Liquid Death came onto the scene to offer a non-alcoholic drink that stood with the visual aesthetics of the other tallboys in bars. An antithesis and reaction to the rise of carbonated waters that all had soft and flowery designs that appealed to only one kind of person, Liquid Death came out from the start with over-the-top heavy metal imagery and hardcore morbid drink names that struck a chord one way or another, quickly becoming a massive success that highlights the sheer power of branding. Playful and edgy not just in the packaging, but in the full-scale advertising and handling of business as well: they’ve challenged larger companies in the court of public opinion and dodged copyright nonsense by renaming their iced tea/lemonade–commonly known as an Arnold Palmer–from ‘Armless Palmer’ to ‘Dead Billionaire’. This sustained appeal to the punk rock ideals, metal aesthetics, dark humor, rebellious touches of anti-capitalism while still providing a healthier and more ecologically-friendly drink is laser-focused on what younger generations throw their money at, and I’m hoping that more brands bubble up the same way.
Aside from the visuals that help it blend in with the aluminum beer cans at bars (which are more recyclable than plastic bottles), they carbonate their mountain water like a beer with less carbonation meaning less of a bitter taste. They’re sweetened with agave nectar, which, ehhhhh, certainly sweeter and a better choice to prevent sugar spikes in diabetics, but, ehhhhhhhhh not too great of a choice in every other aspect. Agave definitely is a poster child for how a food product being natural and ‘less harmful’ does not mean it’s any good at all, but, sugar is sugar I guess and I’m thankful this just isn’t one of the diarrhea ones.
With their success they have expanded their flavor options, introduced teas and electrolyte drink mixes, and this also includes limited time and seasonal options.
Psycho Cider
Cider flavored sparkling water, which had me a little eeked out at first, but then I remembered sparkling ciders exists, but I still felt slightly uncomfortable at the prospect of this being a water and not juice impacting the flavor. As this is water, it feels much more thin and sharp than what I like from apple cider, which is more smooth and full, so the flavor hitting feels a bit uncanny. Flavors included in the ingredients are apple, pear, and cinnamon, and yeah I can agree that those are there, but definitely mostly pear. The cinnamon is around to keep it from being too candy-sweet but it still tastes incredibly fake, and I’m also just not completely sold on the idea of cinnamon being included in cider in the first place. I get that there’s spiced ciders, mulled, whatever, that this is a fall limited edition, but I would’ve hoped that this went more towards a hard cider taste. I’m not mad at the cinnamon, and appreciate its role in this for seasonality, vibes, and rounding out the flavors, but when’s faux-hard ciders? With that, though, it still tastes more like a Laffy Taffy than an actual cider, and while this was alright enough I severely doubt I’d ever want to drink it again should this become a recurring limited flavor.
Squeezed To Death
I wasn’t quite sure if this was a limited time or seasonal flavor until I checked their website to confirm it isn’t, but it certainly was placed on Target’s seasonal shelf, and its flavor of blood orange (alongside orange and tangerine) is absolutely in-season starting in winter, so I’m going to just include it. I haven’t seen this flavor at all anywhere else before, despite it coming out about 10 months ago in Q1 2024, so the 8-pack case ended up being the only option. I wasn’t mad about this, as at $14 for 8 cans it ends up being $1.75 each which is cheaper than when individual cans are on sale, I’m just hoping I like it.
Good amount of carbonation that has it feeling crisp when it’s cold, but definitely is lackluster when it warms up, which I suppose follows how most carbonated drinks go, but the dropoff here felt steeper. The smell coming from the can after opening it is amazing, and I wish I could trap it forever in a candle (next business opportunity, Mike?) The orange citrus flavor is good, relatively subtle but certainly lets you know just how unnecessary Fanta’s intense flavoring is. The citrus flavors sorta just roll in comfortably, with all three fruit flavors being noticeable, vastly more successful than Liquid Death’s original flavors that feel more torn between a potent flavoring added in with a weird sparkling mineral water bitterness; I’m very happy to see their new flavors advancing this way, and hoping maybe they consider some recalibration of their Mango Chainsaw that’s pretty alright but could be better. Tasted crispy, light, and fresh, which are things I like in drinks in general, especially a flavored water. I could easily replace drinking a soda with this as it satisfies pretty much every craving I could get for a soda, and this is firmly a healthier option without shoehorning in ashwagandha or whatever.
I did end up seeing Squeezed To Death available as individual cans later on in Sprouts on one of their holiday displays, right next to Psycho Cider, so maybe it’s just an honorary entry. I’ll continue to buy these as they are a comparatively cheap option for lunches (though I won’t say cheap in general) as I’ve found a few flavors I like, now adding Squeezed To Death in those ranks.
Sanders Maple Dark Chocolate Sea Salt Caramels
I love Sanders chocolate. I love getting the giant barrels of their Dark Chocolate Sea Salt Caramels at Costco, I went out of my way to spend like $10 on a small jug of their Milk Chocolate Sea Salt Caramels at Sprouts just to know what they taste like, I have a container of their Peppermint Dark Chocolate Sea Salt Caramels but in a thin variety that I think has been discontinued since I got them super cheap at Sprouts and only seem to exist on this aggregator website. Am I wrong to have hope for Sanders Maple Dark Chocolate Sea Salt Caramels?
Yes.
The maple flavor is more present in the smell upon opening the bag than ever again with these. My stance on dark chocolate is once again proven with these adding themselves to an already overflowing but still growing list, that dark chocolate just overtakes any other flavor in whatever it’s used in. Maple is just a very hit-or-miss flavor and when the dark chocolate misses it doesn't leave much hope for the maple. Unfortunately it tastes more like some out-of-season Easter chocolate from HomeGoods, like a Russell Stover that sat out too long. This bag isn’t expired, not subjected to any large temperature swings or harsh conditions that I’m aware of, but they look beat up. This is the first time I’ve had Sanders chocolates in a bag rather than a hard plastic container so maybe something’s up with that, but I truly don’t know what else. These complaints aside, the texture is still good and what I expect from Sanders: firm chocolate coating that’s thick enough to snap when biting into, coated in ample amount of coarse salt that elevates everything to a sophisticated level, with a caramel filling that’s perfectly dense to provide a nice firm chew while still being soft and buttery.
I genuinely think the maple should've been supported with a milk chocolate; bring some extra sweetness to highlight the maple, a little creaminess to push that caramel along, less strong of a bitter chocolate taste to allow the maple to come forward. Sanders has used milk chocolate before with fantastic results, so why not? Help with the cacao shortage and make it milk!
Terra Spiced Sweets & Apples
Right away, seeing Terra’s subtitle being ‘real vegetable chips’ had me on alert that this was gonna be some pretentious nonsense, if it being featured in Whole Foods and The Fresh Market didn’t already clue me in on that. Specialty nonsense food with a seasonal limited edition flavor, though? Into my basket it goes. I’ll give Terra a break with my cynical nonsense, though, as they’re not just potato chips and only mostly potato chips; they’re almost all either a blend of different types of potatoes, maybe with some other root vegetables included, or in our case here today with apple slices.
The ‘Spiced Sweets & Apples (hint of cinnamon)’ flavor uses both boniato sweet potatoes and a mix of gala and fuji apples. Sweet potato chips are genuinely one of the best things ever crafted on this earth and I doubt much will ever approach their perfection, but I’m suspicious of the description on the bag being proud that the apple pieces are ‘uniquely dried–never fried’ as if that matters much anymore when the potatoes sure were and various oils are included in the ingredients. Sure enough, the apple slices are not crispy at all, instead relatively soft and slightly chewy, which threw me off for a little bit and had me wincing. After grabbing a handful of the potato chips and apple slices mixed together in one bite it stopped feeling like I was eating scented potpourri and elevated it to something incredibly interesting. The true flavors of the sweet potatoes and apples come through to bring an irresistible honeyed tartness, with truly a ‘hint’ of cinnamon providing subtle warmth and earthiness. These are honestly so insanely good that I had to physically place the bag in a different room from me while I wrote this so I wouldn’t end up eating the entire bag.
I do have to say that everything about the bag just looked classy, yet approachable, like having a touch of upper middle suburban empty nested mom in your own home. The chips also look gorgeous casually sitting in a bowl, thanks to their different but matching colors and irregular natural shapes. They also had Herbed Stuffing as a seasonal flavor, and I gotta admit that that’s a rather creative fall seasonal approach that I’ve never really seen anyone else do, but I was already spending enough money that day and putting another $5 bag of chips in my basket didn’t survive my “ehhhhh, nahhhhh” approach as I mentally calculated everything else already in my basket. With how good the Spiced Sweets & Apples was, I’ll definitely be checking out more Terra flavors, and am glad to see the implication in other reviews I regularly check out that this limited edition flavor regularly returns.
Werther’s Original Harvest Caramels
Werther’s is known for being a grandma candy, which is fairly surprising as it was made relatively recently for a candy in 1969, proving to be very successful at integrating itself into western culture. Aside from being old people fodder, I personally mostly know them from Karamell-Küche at Epcot’s Germany pavilion, a candy shop that I always dread going into because it just really doesn’t smell good. Werther’s is more than hard candies, and in fact has a lot of nonsense that mostly comes out to being fillings, and fairly regularly comes out with these limited edition choices. I see these every year hanging out in Target’s Halloween section as if these have any business actually being there, always being one of the first things displayed and the last things left, but I’m a sucker for limited edition things like this.
Caramel Apple
‘Soft and Creamy Caramels with the taste of Caramel Dipped Apples’. The apple flavor is incredibly subtle, which I feel is a great decision for a company primarily and solely known for their caramel. The flavor actually seems to be more like how caramel that is on a caramel apple tastes, rather than just caramel with candy apple flavor added; the slight tinge of tartness and telltale flavor give it enough to make it different, but not anything that’s overwhelming. Food science is astounding.
Unfortunately, these have a very critical problem that I fear is unavoidable: caramel is sticky. I’d very much appreciate it if a single caramel candy ever would come out of its wrapper without half of it being irredeemably stuck to the paper, and the fact that this was the case for several bags I bought at several different stores tell me that this is just the experience to expect with Werther’s Soft Caramels. I don’t think I should have to scrape the paper with my incisors to get at most 60% of the caramel that’s actually there before ending up with paper bits in my mouth or my hands horribly sticky. The only valid way to ever purchase these would be at the end of the season on sale for 75% off, and from what I can tell that’s November 1st with the end of Halloween stuff, despite these being called ‘Harvest Caramels’; screw Thanksgiving, though, I guess.
Maple Crème
What makes this one different from the Caramel Apple is that–rather than the caramel itself being flavored–the Maple Crème is regular caramel with a maple cream flavored filling. This gives them a very Cow Tales texture to them, and an extra dimension that’s sorta interesting, as the cream filling presses out of the caramel when you bite it and provides a sudden boost of flavor. Still very chewy, but significantly less sticky, offering a nicer eating experience so much that I wish I liked maple a bit more. The flavor of it is accurate enough, not overwhelming or fake-tasting, so this might push me towards trying another flavor that I might favor better if I ever see any on other seasonal discount racks.
More importantly, every single one of the Maple Crèmes actually comes out of the wrapper full and unscathed, proving that the technology does exist. This leaves me very curious as to why this happens; maybe the caramel is cooked at a higher temperature and slightly harder to hold the cream filling within, maybe it’s the added butter that provides a little lubrication, maybe the extra oils involved. Cow Tales also has me thinking that maybe the white powder on them would be a great addition to the Soft Caramels.
Other Harvest flavors that they offer include Cinnamon Crème (which I didn’t want to get because I just wasn’t interested in cinnamon on its own), Pumpkin Spice (which I’m specifically avoiding here), and Caramel Apple Hard Candies (which I didn’t buy because I don’t really like hard caramels). They’ve already moved onto Holiday Caramels that skillfully uses the generic ‘Holiday’ while adorning the package with obvious Christmas imagery, while reusing standard flavors. Where’s peppermint? Cocoa? Cranberry? Sugar cookie? Eggnog? Even dip into your German roots and give us a glühwein-inspired candy with spiced orange notes? I desperately need to figure out how I can become a consultant for all of these food companies and monetize my comments without relying on Google AdSense. Get creative, please!
Elmhurst Apple Pie Spiced Blend
Despite coming back to Elmhurst products over and over again, I’m always coming to mediocre conclusions with them being mostly flavorless and dull. But, as usual, here I am wandering through a Sprouts looking for seasonal things and there sits Elmhurst Apple Pie Spiced Blend, placed on their innovation display, a separate holiday set, some inside of their refrigerated themed sale endcap, some in a little wooden box display by their dairy, with a dollar off, so they’re absolutely trying hard to push their inventory of this out and they absolutely caught me in the mood to take it. After all, I’ve never hated anything Elmhurst made, and they’re always making something new and different, so I like to support that.
Oat and cashew blend, which I greatly appreciate as it diminishes the oat flavor from being something that’s typically overwhelming to instead being just a hint. The oats instead lend its natural thickness and creaminess to give this a thicker milky consistency. Cinnamon is the most obvious flavor, but it’s very muted. I can’t tell if they’ve included apple as a flavor in their apple pie spice blend, as with how many pumpkin spice flavors include pumpkin, but there definitely is a lightly tart sweetness there that I haven’t ever gotten from anything else. The oat does peek through in a way that I felt supplied more of the pie crust taste, buttery just like their description says, bringing it more towards it being an apple pie-flavored drink rather than just a handful of the same warm spices tossed in; elevated it that extra bit that to something more special than other apple pie milky drinks that I just found too sweet and fake. Overall, just really good, hits the seasonal craving in a nice way that’s not too tiresome and has good flexibility. It’s something different that’s not eggnog to try if you’re like me and has family that absolutely refuses to drink eggnog, but still fits the cozy autumn theme.
I didn’t mix this into coffee, or bake with it as Elmhurst suggests, but I did dump a bunch of rum into it and had a good time.
I’m curious what the actual difference in ingredients is between this Apple Pie fake milk and their Pumpkin Spice Creamer as both spice blends contain cinnamon, nutmeg, allspice, ginger, with the only actual difference being that pumpkin spice contains cloves while apple pie spice sometimes has cardamom, as the only thing I’m really seeing is the creamer having the requisite dipotassium phosphate to help stabilize the oat proteins with the expectation of steaming or adding acidic coffee as well as helping it to foam. Some places list the Apple Pie Blend as a creamer, with every other review that I’ve been able to find on social media saying it’s a creamer, which has me questioning how drinkable creamers are on their own; if barista blends can stand solo, or if they’d be the equivalent of slurping down a few half-and-halfs at the restaurant table because you’re a weird attention-seeking kid who’s not getting enough love at home.
This one can get the full Mariah.
| The 'Shroom: Issue 212 | |
|---|---|
| Staff sections | Staff Notes • The 'Shroom Spotlight • Poochy's Picks • Awards Director Election • Credits |
| Features | Fake News • Fun Stuff • Palette Swap • Pipe Plaza • Critic Corner • Strategy Wing |
| Specials | Mario And Luigi Brothership Custom Instruction Manual |
